Gay
men
choosing
to
abstain
from
sex
until
they
are
in
a
lifelong,
committed
relationship
are
unlikely
to
find
reassuring
messages
in
most
abstinence-only
education
curricula,
experts
claim.
William
Smith,
director
of
public
policy
for
the
Sexuality
Information
&
Education
Council
of
the
United
States,
said
his
group
has
reviewed
all
of
the
major
abstinence-based
curricula
and
found
that
the
only
message
sent
to
gay
youth
“is
that
they
are
transmitters
to
disease.”
“The
only
time
these
programs
refer
to
young
gay
people
is
when
they
are
discussing
HIV
rates,”
Smith
said.
“The
whole
point
of
the
education
is
to
get
people
into
marital
relationships,
even
the
secular-based
ones.
“If
you
look
closely,
you
will
find
all
sorts
of
subtle
messages
—
the
lack
of
any
information
about
gays
and
lesbians,
subtle
messages
about
how
women
are
supposed
to
be
subservient
to
men.”
Lisa
Rue,
president
and
CEO
of
Friends
First,
an
organization
that
promotes
abstinence,
disagreed,
and
said
her
company’s
educational
materials,
which
are
secular,
speak
to
both
gay
and
straight
youth.
“Our
message
is
abstinence
until
marriage,
regardless
of
whether
or
not
there
is
a
debate
on
the
issue
of
[gay]
marriage
at
the
state
and
federal
level,”
Rue
said.
“Gays
get
married
and
have
ceremonies
all
the
time.
“What
we
promote
is
that
the
best
sex
one
can
have
is
found
in
a
committed
marital
relationship.
We
present
the
facts
to
teenagers
and
say
that
the
best
health
choice
for
you,
regardless
of
your
sexual
identity,
is
abstinence.”
Prominent
health
officials
like
David
Satcher,
a
former
surgeon
general
under
the
Clinton
administration,
and
Dr.
Joseph
McIlhaney,
founder
and
chair
of
the
Medical
Institute
for
Sexual
Health,
are
both
strong
supporters
of
abstinence
and
urge
all
individuals,
gay
or
straight,
to
abstain
from
sex
until
they
enter
“into
a
mutually
monogamous,
faithful,
lifelong
relationship.”
But
the
problem
with
abstinence
messages,
many
officials
assert,
is
that
they
often
urge
teenagers
to
“wait
until
marriage”
before
having
sex,
thus
ignoring
gay
youth
who
cannot
legally
wed,
except
in
the
state
of
Massachusetts.
The
message
begs
the
question:
What
should
gays
wait
for?
Justin
Lee,
26,
who
heads
the
Gay
Christian
Network,
said
he
has
worked
with
a
number
of
young
gay
and
lesbian
Christians
who
desire
to
remain
sexually
abstinent
“up
until
some
point.”
“Civil
marriage
is
not
an
option
for
us
in
most
of
the
U.S.
so
some
say
they
want
to
abstain
from
sex
until
they
are
in
a
committed
or
lifelong
relationship,”
Lee
said.
Locally,
the
Northern
Virginia
AIDS
Ministry
is
one
of
the
only
organizations
with
a
program
specifically
targeting
gay
youth
and
addressing
the
question
of
sexual
abstinence.
The
group’s
Orion
program
deals
with
the
sexual
health
of
gay
youths.
“One
of
our
main
themes
is
postponing
sex
until
self-esteem
issues
are
in
place,”
said
Nathan
Monell,
the
group’s
executive
director.
“For
all
of
us
who
came
out,
one
of
the
challenges
is
rectifying
the
absence
of
good
role
models
for
gays.
No
one
is
training
you
how
to
date
as
a
gay
person.
We
try
to
create
a
safe
place
for
that
to
happen.”
Bill
Briggs,
the
Orion
program
manager,
said
that
since
gays
cannot
get
married
outside
of
Massachusetts,
the
Orion
message
recommends
that
gays
who
wish
to
abstain
from
sex
do
so
until
they
are
in
a
committed
relationship.
“A
lot
of
time
these
youth
don’t
know
many
gay
people,”
Briggs
said.
“Part
of
the
program
is
getting
them
involved
with
friends
as
opposed
to
sex.
We
say,
‘You
don’t
have
to
feel
pressure
to
sleep
with
this
person.
You
can
date
or
just
be
friends.’”
Briggs
said
that
outside
of
the
Sexual
Minority
Youth
Assistance
League
there
are
not
many
programs
in
the
D.C.
area
for
gay
youth
to
get
to
know
one
another
in
a
safe
setting.
He
added
that
federal
agencies
are
unlikely
to
fund
a
gay
youth
program
because
health
officials
often
bow
to
the
pressures
from
social
conservatives
who
assert
gay
youth
programs
are
more
about
“recruitment”
than
health
of
gay
youth.
Smith
said
his
group
only
opposes
abstinent-based
education
that
uses
“fear
and
shame”
as
motivators
for
behavior.
He
favorably
cites
programs
and
curriculum
like
Smart
Moves
by
the
Boys
&
Girls
Clubs
of
America
that
help
teenagers
identify
and
resist
peer
pressure
while
encouraging
social
awareness.
He
also
recommended
the
curriculum,
“Choosing
Health
—
High
School:
Abstinence,”
which
encourages
sexual
abstinence
as
a
positive
choice
and
emphasizes
that
abstinence
eliminates
the
risk
of
STDs
and
unwanted
pregnancies.
But
many,
like
Justin
Lee,
claim
gay
youth
often
perceive
abstinence
as
a
religious
message
and
part
of
an
“anti-gay
package.”
“As
in
the
straight
community,
there
are
people
who
have
many
sexual
partners
and
no
partners
but
because
there
are
so
many
religious
conservatives
who
want
to
force
celibacy
and
abstinence
on
all
of
us,
there
are
those
in
the
gay
community
who
don’t
want
to
talk
about
it
at
all,”
Lee
said.
“But
one
can
be
openly
gay
and
proud
and
still
have
a
fairly
conservative
personal
sexual
ethic.
I
don’t
think
it
is
incongruous
for
them
to
say
...
