In a new documentary titled ‘A Love Story — In the Face of Hate,’
lesbian couple Barbara Kenny (right) and Tibby Middleton,
share their history and explain why they decided to leave Virginia. (Photo courtesy
of SuMo Productions)
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YUSEF NAJAFI
Friday, March 25, 2005
If you’ve ever wondered why some gay Virginians leave their friends, family
and homes behind in search of a more inclusive place to live, meet Barbara Kenny,
65, and Tibby Middleton, 66.
The women, who have been together 39 years, let their friend Suzanne Moe film
their story last summer to shed light on the Marriage Affirmation Act, a relatively
new law in Virginia that, in part, prohibits recognition of same-sex marriage
licenses from other states. The women moved to Maryland.
“I feel that Barbara and Tibby helped put a face on the law,” Moe
says of Kenny and Middleton. “Once you get to know these women, you can
put a human dimension on the consequences of [the] law.”
“A Love Story — In the Face of Hate,” starts off laden with
emotion, due to the soulful singing of lesbian musician Gaye Adegbalola, a longtime
member of Saffire-the Uppity Blues Women. In the 38-minute film, she sings:
“They came for the black, they came for the Jew, they came after them,
they might come after you.”
Moe, a graphic artist, and Adegbalola have been together for 14 years. Moe
directed and produced the documentary, which focuses on two women who met in
high school, parted ways and later got together again. Before moving to Maryland,
they lived for years in Fredericksburg, Va.
The Welcoming Congregation of the Bull Run Unitarian Universalist Church is
scheduled to screen the film at 8 p.m., on Friday, April 1, in the church’s
Fellowship Hall, in Manassas, Va. Plans also are underway to show “A Love
Story — In the Face of Hate” at All Souls Church, Unitarian in Northwest,
D.C., in mid-May.
The film is also available for sale (for $15) at www.sumoe.com.
The couple’s story grabs the viewer, especially with details about how
the Virginia law has affected them. For example, Barbara suffered an aneurysm
in 2001. They said they feared that if she were to become sick again Tibby would
not have as many rights as a heterosexual spouse would to visit her in the hospital
or handle other business matters.
The Virginia law, which took effect on July 1, 2004, prohibits recognition
of same-sex marriage licenses from other states and also bars any form of contractual
agreement between members of the same-sex. Views vary among proponents and opponents
of the law about the extent to which it limits the rights of gay couples.
Moe includes commentary in the film from Leila Kilgore, a Fredricksburg attorney
who opposes the law and talks in the documentary about how it could affect gay
couples’ wills, joint property and bank accounts.
“Virginia is not for lovers,” Kilgore says in the film. “It’s
not about love.”
Moe, a 39-year-old native of D.C., and self-described “foreign service
kid,” has lived in India, Denmark, and Nigeria.
“I’ve never made a movie before, so it’s not a slick production,”
she says. “But the point is that you can use tools that are available
to you, and creatively tell a story.”
The lesbian couple depicted in the film first met while attending the same
high school in Salt Lake City, Utah. After graduating, they parted ways.
Middleton married a man and became active in her Mormon church and had two
children. Kenny, who has an interest in art and drag racing, became a psychotherapist.
While the film lacks some details, such as the names, dates and places of key
events, it is appealing to watch the couple interact. Seeing their old photographs
and hearing more songs by Adegbalola also make it enjoyable.
One graceful moment occurs when Tibby, a former teacher in Fairfax County,
says that upon the two women’s reunion, Barbara asked her if she was happy.
“That’s probably the reason why we are together today,” Tibby
says in the film. “Seeing beyond how I [came] across, which is cheerful,
I really wasn’t happy.”
Moe says she hopes the film informs, educates and activates viewers. She is
working to have the documentary distributed at libraries and on college campuses
in Virginia.
“I hope people can open their hearts to see the consequences of oppression,”
she says.
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