Comments on: Gay Dads and divorce

By: Dad in Nebraska

Dad in Nebraska — Tue, 09 Oct 2012 20:38:31 +0000

You seem very bitter. I hope you will put your anger to rest and move on with your life. It is only hurting you and the children.

By: Dad in Nebraska

Dad in Nebraska — Tue, 09 Oct 2012 20:36:11 +0000

I completed a complicated divorce in March of 2012. Your experience is very similar to mine. The kids ultimately suffer as a result. I continue to be involved in my boys lives and make sure they know I love them!!

By: Clint

Clint — Thu, 20 Sep 2012 11:27:25 +0000

It is society’s fault for gay men marrying women and having to come out later. if everyone would support people living that lifestyle then they would not have to hide it. They could be honest from the start. But since everybody tries to look down on gay society men hide it and try to live a normal life. Then one day they realize life is ticking away and they can’t stand it anymore but to be happy. At least those men are normally great fathers what can you say straight men.

By: Sara

Sara — Fri, 07 Sep 2012 14:03:54 +0000

As the ex wife of a man who was “true to himself” and came out after 23 years of marriage and two children I find it appalling at the very least to read a comment that the ex wives are “often controlling”during the divorce process. It seems as if the gay man is celebrated because of his “courage” yet the ex wife and children are left to grieve a marriage lost and a father they never really knew all alone. We are the ones stigmatized and I am sick of it. If you are gay, fine. Do not marry and wreck other lives. Period. THAT is what is controlling.

By: Marianne

Marianne — Thu, 09 Aug 2012 19:55:55 +0000

In my broad experience there are still to many man who hide their homosexuality or are confused about their sexuality but get married and have children without informing their wives about anything. Let alone letting them have any say in the matter. The children have the hardest time in these situations. Not only are their parents up for divorce, they have a father that made their mom live a lie. They themselves are the result of a lie. Which woman in their right mind willingly and knowingly goes into a relationship with a man who’s gay or bi, has children with him to later divorce him. So HE can live his authentic life. Why in the world would a woman do that to herself and her child(ren)?

By: Richard Cacace

Richard Cacace — Wed, 04 Jul 2012 23:10:01 +0000

I came out in 1980′s and left my son here’s my story you are not alone

By: Rob Lasser

Rob Lasser — Wed, 21 Mar 2012 15:34:49 +0000

Very nice article. The more visibility and depth of understanding we can provide, the better. We hope to do the same at TwoDads.Org.

By: Bose in St. Peter MN

Bose in St. Peter MN — Thu, 15 Mar 2012 17:49:00 +0000

In the course of coming out and divorcing in the mid 1990s, I had to respond directly to these kinds of misconceptions in conversations with family members as well as in court.

After that, the divorced gay dads I met often were either divorced in a prior era, and had lost contact with their kids for a number of years, or more recently, divorced and worked their way to amicable relationships with their ex-wives.

In that context, people were often surprised that I was going through the old-fashioned experience of a court battle for a standard visitation (an awful word) followed by a years-long campaign by a couple of family members to alienate my kids from me.

I’m really glad that my experience is becoming increasingly rare, but it’s important to recognize that it still happens, particularly in families with strong political/religious-right roots.