Fast Five Fix: April 4

"Rub against me, and I'll expose you!" proclaims a new anti-harassment campaign by Washington Metro Area Transit Association.

We thought we’d know by now, but we don’t: Towleroad says there are conflicting media reports about the result of Anchorage’s vote on an LGBT non-discrimination ordinance, after accusations of widespread irregularities. While we wait for clarity there, here are five more stories you should be talking about today:

• Stop telling everyone Bruno Mars came out of the closet Monday. He totally didn’t come out of the closet, says Towleroad.
• AMERICAblog finds this for us: stroke can make you gay. In related news, I’m looking for advice on safely giving Channing Tatum a stroke. (OBVIOUSLY JUST KIDDING [but taking suggestions on other things that can make men turn gay])
• An anti-gay group in Liberia — where the President just awkwardly defended her anti-gay nation’s policies during a media event with pro-gay Tony Blair — has published a “hit list” with the names of gays and lesbians in that nation, says Think Progress. Shame on Ellen Johnson Sirleaf, who ought to give back her Nobel Peace Prize.
• Blogger (and friend of the Blade) Scott Wooledge pulled a fast one on you. His Huffington Post piece — which claimed that Microsoft and Apple requested NOM boycott them too, after the anti-gay group’s boycott of Starbucks resulted in an outpouring of good will and an uptick in brand loyalty — was just satire. I’d like to nominate it for best satire piece of 2012 right now.
• JoeMyGod: Its official, NPH will host the Tonys again!

Finally, so so very very much more about the National Organization for Marriage from Matt Baume and Marriage News Watch at the American Foundation for Equal Rights:

(h/t JoeMyGod)

BONUS: John Aravosis over at AMERICAblog gay shared his reaction to Dan Savage’s new MTV show “Savage U” with his readers:

“I’m amazed at how much he knows. Granted, he’s been doing this for decades, but still. His answers are funny, interesting, and insightful. Dan is no Dr. Drew. And hallelujah for that. I’ve always found Dr. Drew a bit uptight, and I’ll never forget the tirade he let Kathy Griffin go on about an-l sex once on their TV show (not the radio tirade), and I recall him agreeing with her (sorry, have to use the funny spelling or the ads flee). Dan, however, is more of a midwest version of Dr. Ruth, without the accent. Very self-affirming for the recipients of his advice (except for no-condom guy), which is nice to see.”

“Like most new shows, it needs to find its groove. And I do think Dan is at his best when he lets his hair down. And that’s not in intimate situations when a camera is on him. I’d really like to see Dan do some of the format that Dr. Drew and that idiot Adam used on their old TV show, hanging out in a cool space with people – almost like a MTV unplugged set – having a good back and forth, watching the audience get into it, watching Dan play off the audience. I don’t think standing at a podium lends itself to good TV. That Drew/Adam set did.”