Now divorced, armed with knowledge and her doctor’s blessings and approval, she had grown her hair and blessed with no Adam’s apple, high cheekbones and soft facial features, she had been so successful that she achieved practically a 100% passing rate not once has she ever been challenged for using the female restroom. Her preference is females so she had to brush off the many men who asked for her number. She made the honorable choice to move back with her ex to help raise her child and so made the painful choice of cutting the hair, growing out the eyebrows and just like that she was a he again, expect that she emphatically refused to forego the hormones. She said that losing the testosterone felt like losing a 100 lb backpack….a burden removed as for her entire lifetime the powerful testosterone was not a fit for her inner personality….the mind/body conflict was over.

In 2010, she applied for and was hired from a competitive field of candidates as a security officer for a community hospital in Victorville, CA. in the area called Victor Valley for which the hospital was named. As she presented her ID to the HR Dept, she pointed out that her sex is F on her state-issued driver’s license/ID and asked if that was a problem. They responded respectfully, “no, that is your business”. Little did she know that within a matter of days, how little their blessings would come to mean as her supervisor J.W., would maliciously and blatantly disregard all California civil legal protections relative toward sex discrimination…yes the ID states her sex is F….for female…not for freak.

The opening salvo that would ultimately lead to her first-ever job termination began with the cleverly articulated yet deviously maligned phrase from her obviously unqualified-to-be supervisor: “I am concerned with your safety”….safety…safety….safety—-these words would echo through her mind as she received the call form the HR manager “YOU’re FIRED”…although using the “softer” words..you’re terminated. All it took was one man to drive a metaphorical dagger through her heart. “Thank you for your service….not find the door”, although words not literally said were made ever so real as the reality of receiving the termination letter in the mail. Three short quick steps and she, who had been hired for her skills was not fired for her gender (change). A transphobic stand by a supervisor, followed by an HR ambush “meeting”, followed by night training assignment with a female coworker who had filed a false complaint, an assignment she had refused because of the obvious “pickle” setup and it was over.

As she vomited the cool-aid and faced with the cold hard truth that hit her high-cheeked boned cheeks like un-gloved fingers on a sub-freezing day….the “T” that had represented (t)estosterone…(t)ransgender, not found company with a third “T”: (t)erminated. At the tender nubile age of 18, she had sworn to uphold our most sacred document….the U.S. Constitution against all enemies….foreign and domestic, and yet her domestic “enemies” of transgender otherwise-qualified employees had obviously not made the same oath. She obtained work for a short six months after her termination and has remained unemployed since—the excruciating pain of the “dagger”, non-commensurate compensation for an honorable U.S. veteran has given way to utter and complete hopelessness of her future. The steps toward the door to seek gainful employment come to a sudden stop as she retreats toward the comfort of her abode.

Two years and counting—-she know longer believes in the America she read about in the school textbooks…who could blame her? She know longer trusts laws in place to protect against discrimination. Who cared when she sought legal help? When childhood glimmer fades to despondency at the discovery that Santa Clause isn’t real….when service to country holds no meaning….when experience offers no value….who can blame her? She seeks no financial recompense….no retribution….all she wants is her job at V V Community hospital—-the job she had earned through service to country….through experience…and from being truthful to her supervisor about her transgender status. I know this to be true, because I am that female. In a nation that idolizes sports while “not seeing” child abuse….that rewards millions to play for pay…that gives credence to celebrities while “not seeing” drug abuse….that worships at the altar of technology….no one should be castigated with job loss for the medical reality of gender dysphoria…not now…not ever. If not, then let’s stop dispensing the cool-aid….let’s use the history books as door props…let’s stop exporting Democracy….and let’s get our own house in order…today.

She (then a he) was not conflicted, not disordered, not confused but since her early childhood had wondered what had gone wrong with her gender “assignment”. Lacking medical knowledge behind what causes a child to be born male or female, the only perspective she had was that metaphorically speaking she had lost the gender coin toss prior to her birth—lost because she knew she had boy parts and yet as she looked around and saw other boys and girls, her deep personality instinct was that of the two genders, female would have seemed to be more appropriate to her. At age 6 however, years prior to the ubiquitous internet, she knew that a boy would become a man and a girl a woman and that would be that so she kept this buried deep in her conscious under the file “stuff happens” so live with it.

Fast forward years later. As the internet brought the library into her home, (still living as a he) had decided that being out of a bad marriage was better than being in one, and as she researched her spouse’s allegations that she was “gay” stumbled upon the medical reality behind the state of being “transgender”…and most importantly was shocked to discover that short of producing ovaries and a womb, hormones had the potential to effect outward (and inward) physical changes relative to gender!
Suddenly, she understood why, despite the power of teen hormones and young adulthood, she had remained a virgin for the entire 6-year military enlistment! Quite a feat indeed!
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