Living
Labor of love
Md. man remembers late spouse, years of activism
Larry Esser (right) with his late spouse Tom Toth. (Photo courtesy of Larry Esser)
GLEN BURNIE, Md.—Larry Esser was 25 when he met Tom Toth on his first day of work at the old Chessie System’s office in Baltimore in June 1981. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention had just reported the first cases of what later became known as AIDS. Maryland’s anti-sodomy law was still on the books, but Toth, who was 32 years older than Esser, felt it was important to live his life as an openly gay man.
“Tom kind of pursued me, to put it quite bluntly,” Esser tells the Washington Blade during a Dec. 13 interview. “I really liked him, that’s the funny thing. I didn’t feel like he was imposing himself or anything like that … he’s the bravest person I’ve ever met. His personal courage astonished me.”
Esser stressed he “had no idea I was gay” when he met his future spouse. He grew up in what he describes as an “extremely strict Roman Catholic household” in Connecticut where he routinely heard gay people “were probably worse than murderers and they were to be avoided at all costs” and they were “mentally defective.” Esser eventually found himself in a relationship with another man he conceded wasn’t “going anywhere” when Toth finally made his move.
“He was sitting at his desk and he was singing,” Esser recalls, laughing. “It was like in a joking sort of way he was singing and the other people around him were laughing when he was doing it and he was singing something about it’s springtime and it’s time for love. The way he tells this story, I came in the door and heard him singing that and I tried to sneak away. I didn’t want any part of that. And he saw me and he said, ‘Uh oh.’ And that’s when he began to realize that I was not what he thought I was. How can you explain how two people fall in love? I can’t explain that. But it just happened. I wasn’t afraid of him personally.”
Frank Kameny with Tom Toth in D.C. (Photo courtesy of Larry Esser)
Couple’s activism starts at home
The couple routinely engaged in what Esser calls “guerrilla activism” that began when he said the railroad fired him after they began dating in 1983 because of his sexual orientation. He considered moving back to Connecticut, but Toth insisted he move into the small Glen Burnie home he shared with his then-84-year-old mother, Mary.
“There was no arguing with that,” Esser says. “The funny thing is when he said it, it was exactly what I wanted to hear, but of course I couldn’t ask him that. It was up to him to ask me, and he did. And I was delighted.”
Esser took care of Toth’s elderly mother until she died the following year. He says the same Chessy System vice president whom he claims fired him threatened to do the same to his partner once he found out they were living together. (He says the railroad in the late 1970s had tried to fire an early member of the Baltimore Gay Alliance that later became the GLBT Community Center of Baltimore and Central Maryland, but the union fought for him.)
“He couldn’t do it directly,” Esser says, recalling efforts to fire Toth, who was a unionized stenographer. “He did a bunch of different things to try to get Tom to quit. And amazingly, Tom was actually ready to resign. A woman whose name I can’t remember, but will always be grateful to her told him don’t resign because the railroad is going to do a bunch of buyouts and you’ll be able to get a lump sum payment and retire, and that’s what he did.”
The couple also for years distributed copies of the Blade at locations throughout Anne Arundel County.
They decided to approach the Anne Arundel County Public Library Board of Trustees in Annapolis in 1993 after they read about the newspaper’s threatened lawsuit against the Fairfax County (Va.) Library for its proposed ban on the publication’s distribution inside its branches. Esser said Toth was “really rough with them,” in part because “he’d gone through a very repressive time back in the 1950s.” (He lived in Manhattan for 25 years and the New York Police Department once arrested him during a gay bar raid.)
“When we got to the library board, he told them point blank, ‘You’d better do this,’” Esser says. “They were not happy. They were not happy at all. I think some of them were actually kind of sympathetic to what we wanted to do, but they were taken aback by how assertive he was. They weren’t used to that. The library board is used to people coming and requesting things, not telling them what they’re going to do. And they were not happy.”
Esser says one of the board members later told him the board did not want to meet with Toth anymore because “he was very blunt,” but in the end they granted them permission to place 15 copies of the Blade in libraries in Glen Burnie, Severna Park and Annapolis. They continued distributing the Blades each week from the Center for more than two decades.
“By putting the paper there, I always felt that, I always wondered … if a young person going by thinking they were maybe gay or knew they were gay but felt very isolated, if they saw those papers, maybe that would give them a little bit of encouragement or a little bit of reassurance. But the other point was just sheer visibility. By having those papers there, Tom used to say … if even one person picks one up, he said even if they throw them away they still got to look at them. And that was an excellent point. And he was quite right. That meant a lot to us.”
Trust the truth
The AIDS epidemic had begun to exert its toll on gay men by the time the couple began dating — Esser recalls a time both he and Toth went to a small Severna Park health clinic to get HIV tests. Toth says the nurse asked him whether he was a gay man. “He said that was the first time in his entire life anyone asked him that directly,” Esser says. “He had never been asked that question.”
Larry Esser today. (Blade photo by Michael K. Lavers)
Esser says he felt the atmosphere during the late 1980s was “pretty optimistic” in spite of the epidemic and late-North Carolina Sen. Jesse Helms, fundamentalist preachers Jerry Falwell and Pat Robertson and other social conservatives who sought to demonize gay men during the AIDS crisis.
“Oddly enough, Tom never disliked [then-President Ronald] Reagan, but I think that’s because he remembered him from his movie star days,” Esser says. “He felt Reagan didn’t understand the whole situation that he was dealing with AIDS and gay people. He felt that Reagan really just didn’t understand it. It’s not that he was anti-gay particularly; he just didn’t really know what he was doing … I didn’t feel so kindly to Reagan at all. I thought he was just horrible.”
Toth and Esser also became involved in the effort to add sexual orientation to Maryland’s non-discrimination law in the 1990s.
He recalls one legislator who was “really being ridiculous, saying really ugly things about us” during a hearing on the measure in Annapolis. One of this lawmaker’s colleagues who had refused to listen to his speech asked Toth and Esser how they could stand to hear his rhetoric.
“Tom said, ‘Well we know it isn’t true, so we don’t worry about it,’” Esser says. “Of course you’ve got to fight. You can’t let people say things that aren’t true and let them say it without challenging it. And Tom did that. But at the same time you can’t let it stop you. You can’t let that negativism stop you. You have to keep fighting, pushing against it and that’s what Tom really, really did.”
Esser notes that Toth’s life spanned the same period through which Frank Kameny lived — the two met during the 2000 D.C. Pride parade. And Esser says when they met, it was as if they were kindred spirits.
“They were really speaking the same language,” he says, noting both Esser and Kameny came of age in the 1950s when lobotomies were performed as a way to cure homosexuality. “It was very impressive for me being a younger person relative to them seeing what these two men must have come through and how they were both so determined to do what they were doing. They refused to back down. They refused to accept what they were being told they had to accept. They wouldn’t do it. And that was a beautiful thing to me. It’s a moment I will never forget.”
Mesothelioma that Toth developed from asbestos exposure while working at a Baltimore shipyard that built liberty ships during World War II had already taken its toll by the time Gov. Martin O’Malley signed the state’s same-sex marriage law in March.
Toth and Esser legally married in D.C. in 2010, but he wanted to vote for both Question 6 and President Obama on Election Day. He applied for an absentee ballot because he did not think he would live until Nov. 6.
It arrived in the mail in early October.
“It came and I said do you want to sign it?,” Esser, who fought leukemia at the same time his spouse struggled with mesothelioma, says. “And he said, ‘No, I’ll do it tomorrow. Well the next day he wasn’t strong enough.”
Toth died three days later — on Oct. 11 — at age 88.
“He never did sign the absentee ballot,” Esser says. “He was very aware of what was going on. He was politically interested. He definitely wanted Obama to win. We just detested Romney. The hardest thing to communicate to people who were not gay (is) how much Obama had done to us, compared to everybody else.”
Esser says Toth wondered whether history would remember Obama along the same lines as Franklin Roosevelt in terms of “what he had done, particularly for gay rights.”
“When you come from a time where you were ignored totally … and suddenly here’s the president and he’s doing all these executive orders and this happening and that’s happening and then he comes out in favor of same-sex marriage, well that’s fantastic,” Esser says. “He was just delighted.”
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Autos
Sport haulers: Jeep Grand Cherokee, Mercedes GLE-Class
Updated cabins, adept handling, and more
Now that March Madness and the Masters are over, it’s time for, well, everything else. For my husband and me, this means water sports, as in kayaks and rowing sculls, which is why we trekked to the Potomac for the George Washington Invitational regatta last weekend.
Alas, high winds splashed cold water on the event, canceling much of it. But there was still plenty of spirited camaraderie to rival “The Boys in the Boat.”
And I was reminded of my time years ago as a rower with D.C. Strokes, ferrying teammates to races up and down the East Coast. Back then my ride was a dated, rather cramped four-door sedan.
If only we could have paddled around in a sporty SUV like the two reviewed here. Now that would have been some smooth sailing (wink-wink).
JEEP GRAND CHEROKEE
$40,000
MPG: 19 city/26 highway
0 to 60 mph: 7.5 seconds
Maximum cargo room: 37.7 cu. ft.
PROS: Updated cabin, adept handling, strong towing
CONS: So-so gas mileage, no third row, pricey trim levels
IN A NUTSHELL: Rough, tough and buff. It’s doesn’t get much more butch than a Jeep. This year’s Grand Cherokee is no exception, with rugged looks, expert off-road capability and better-than-average towing capacity of 6,200 pounds.
There are a dizzying number of trim levels—more than a dozen—starting with the barebones base-model Laredo at an affordable $40,000. The lineup tops out with the Summit Reserve 4xe PHEV, which is almost twice the price at $76,000 and one of various plug-in hybrid versions available. Those plug-in hybrids can drive up to 25 miles on all-electric power before the four-cylinder gas engine kicks in. Otherwise, you can choose from a standard V6 or V8. Gas mileage on all trim levels is basically the same as the competition.
Where the Grand Cherokee really shines is in the handling. More refined than a Wrangler but less lavish than a Land Rover, this Jeep maneuvers just as well on city streets and highways as it does on bumpier terrain.
I tested the mid-range and mid-priced Overland, which comes standard with four-wheel drive and large 20-inch wheels. It also boasts a slew of niceties, such as quilted upholstery, panoramic sunroof and high-tech digital displays. These include a 10.25-inch infotainment touchscreen and rear-seat entertainment system.
The nine-speaker Alpine stereo, designed specifically for the Grand Cherokee, is pleasing. But I really wanted to hear the boffo 19-speaker McIntosh surround-sound system that Jeep also offers. Sigh, it’s only available on the premium Summit trim level.
MERCEDES GLE-CLASS
$64,000
MPG: 20 city/25 highway
0 to 60 mph: 6.6 seconds
Maximum cargo room: 33.3 cu. ft.
PROS: Lush interior, silky-smooth suspension, speedy
CONS: Some confusing electronics, tight third row, many competitors
IN A NUTSHELL: For a more high-class hauler, there’s the Mercedes GLE-Class. This midsize SUV is similar in size to the Jeep Grand Cherokee. But instead of seating five passengers, the GLE can carry up to seven. Sure, legroom in the optional third row may be tight for taller travelers, but it’s perfect for a cocky cockswain or two.
Six trim levels, ranging from the base-model GLE 350 to two high-performance AMG models. For eco-conscious buyers, the GLE 450e plug-in hybrid arrived earlier this year and can run on battery power alone for almost 60 miles.
My test car was the top-of-the-line AMG 63 S 4Matic, a head-turner in every way. Priced at a whopping $127,000, this GLE looks best in glossy black with the Night Package, which includes tasteful jet-black exterior accents and matte-black wheels. To complete the Darth Vader effect, there’s a deep, menacing exhaust rumble that’s downright threatening.
You expect such a ride to be wicked fast, and it is: 0 to 60 mph in a blistering 3.7 seconds. Yet the carbon ceramic brakes with their devil-red calipers are equally impressive in slowing things down quickly.
Inside, each GLE comes with two large digital displays on the elegantly sculpted dashboard. My favorite feature is the “Hey Mercedes” digital assistant, which responds to voice commands such as opening or closing the sunroof, operating the infotainment system or activating the climate controls.
It’s hard to find sport seats that are more comfortable, especially with the heavenly massage function (though those massage controls could be a bit more user-friendly.) For AMG models, the seats come with red-contrasting stitching and red seatbelts—a nod to the devilish demeanor under the hood.
Considering all the SUVs available in showrooms, few make quite the splash of a GLE.
Real Estate
Boosting your rental property’s curb appeal
Affordable upgrades to attract and keep tenants happy
In the District of Columbia, the rental market tends to open up significantly during the springtime for several reasons. First, spring brings about a sense of renewal and change, prompting many individuals and families to seek new living arrangements or embark on relocations. Additionally, the warmer weather and longer daylight hours make it more conducive for people to explore housing options, attend viewings, and make decisions about moving. Furthermore, spring often coincides with the end of academic terms, leading to an influx of students and young professionals entering the rental market.
Landlords and property managers also tend to schedule lease renewals or list new vacancies during this time, capitalizing on the increased demand and ensuring a steady turnover of tenants. In the competitive world of rental properties, attracting and retaining quality tenants can be challenging. However, with some strategic upgrades, property owners can significantly enhance their units’ appeal without breaking the bank. From enhancing curb appeal to interior upgrades, here are some practical and cost-effective ideas to make your rental property stand out in the market.
Curb appeal
First impressions matter, and curb appeal plays a crucial role in attracting potential tenants. Simple enhancements like freshening up the exterior paint, adding potted plants or flowers, and ensuring a well-maintained lawn can instantly elevate the property’s appearance. Installing outdoor lighting not only adds charm but also enhances safety and security.
Interior upgrades
Upgrade the kitchen and bathroom fixtures to modern, energy-efficient options. Consider replacing outdated appliances with newer models, which not only appeal to tenants but also contribute to energy savings. Fresh paint and updated flooring can transform the look of a space without a hefty investment. Additionally, replacing worn-out carpets with hardwood or laminate flooring can make the unit more attractive and easier to maintain.
Enhance storage
Maximize storage options by installing built-in shelves, cabinets, or closet organizers. Tenants appreciate ample storage space to keep their belongings organized, contributing to a clutter-free living environment.
Improve lighting
Brighten up the interiors by adding more lighting fixtures or replacing old bulbs with energy-efficient LED lights. Well-lit spaces appear more inviting and spacious, enhancing the overall ambiance of the rental unit.
Upgrade window treatments
Replace outdated curtains or blinds with modern window treatments that allow natural light to filter in while offering privacy. Opt for neutral colors and versatile styles that appeal to a wide range of tastes.
Focus on security
Invest in security features such as deadbolts, window locks, and a reliable alarm system to ensure the safety of your tenants. Feeling secure in their home is a top priority for renters, and these upgrades can provide meaningful, genuine peace of mind.
Enhance outdoor spaces
If your rental property includes outdoor areas like a patio or balcony, consider sprucing them up with comfortable seating, outdoor rugs, and potted plants. Creating inviting outdoor spaces expands the living area and adds value to the rental property.
As landlords, investing in the enhancement of your rental properties is not merely about improving aesthetics; it’s about investing in the satisfaction and well-being of your tenants, and ultimately, in the success of your investment. By implementing these practical and affordable upgrades, you’re not only increasing the desirability of your units but also demonstrating your commitment to providing a high-quality living experience.
These efforts translate into higher tenant retention rates, reduced vacancy periods, and ultimately, a healthier bottom line. Moreover, by prioritizing the comfort, safety, and happiness of your tenants, you’re fostering a sense of community and trust that can lead to long-term relationships and positive referrals. So, let’s embark on this journey of transformation together, turning rental properties into cherished homes and landlords into valued partners in creating exceptional living spaces.
Scott Bloom is owner and Senior Property Manager of Columbia Property Management. For more information and resources, visit ColumbiaPM.com.
Real Estate
Real estate agents work hard for that commission
Despite recent headlines, buyers and sellers benefit from our expertise
With there being a lot of noise in the media lately as I am sure you have read and heard headlines like “Gone are the days of the 6% commission” and “End of the good days of Realtors,” etc., I wanted to re-run a very short article of the long laundry list of things that well versed real estate agents bring to the table to earn that seldom 6% commission. It’s typically split in half and it has always been negotiable).
As a real estate professional you will go on listing appointments and buyer meetings to not only attempt to gain business but in doing so you also educate the general public on what it is that we as real estate professionals do. I know what you’re thinking – and if you’ve seen my photo before you wouldn’t be wrong to assume that I am cast in “Selling DC” as the lead villain. I am just waiting for that phone call! But in all seriousness, when I sit down to come up with a list of things to prove to prospective clients the value in working with me as their real estate professional, I am pretty blown away at the items and qualities that a trusted professional representing you in a real estate transaction is responsible for managing a myriad of tasks, including but not limiting to the following:
• Have a pulse on the marketplace to truly understand exactly what is happening from a buying and selling standpoint while also understanding the economic side of things – not just looking at interest rates. Why are rates where they are? What employers are laying off and could cause an influx of inventory? What are the trends for individuals moving IN or OUT of an area looking like? Forecasting the marketplace of all things that truly affect real estate is vital.
• Soft Skills – these are the skills often considered as customer service skills. The ability to be approachable by all types of people and ensure that you are open to receive information. Also – when telling you bad news – it’s important to ensure that it is done in a manner in which you, the receiver, will be pleasantly receptive.
• Pre-market vendors – not only are real estate professionals expected to market your home for sale or locate a home for you to purchase, we are also expected to have a list of pre-market vendors to which you can use for your lending needs, home inspection, title work, any fluffing and buffing needed pre market for the sale of your home such as a contractor, painter, landscaper etc. We have a book of extremely well vetted vendors that either I personally have used or past clients have used that can assist with your needs. This beats Googling for hours and accidentally choosing the wrong contractor. Section A of the pre-market vendor list includes those in which we real estate professionals use for marketing materials for your property – we will use the best photographers, have floor plans drawn for your property, video, staging, catering for brokers opens and the list goes on. Again – this is a well vetted list that we have worked on for years and done all of the heavy lifting and had those uncomfortable conversations when things are not properly executed – so you don’t have to.
• On Market Tasks – these are the tasks that most clients are unaware that we do. Oftentimes when a listing is on market – folks think that I am just cruising around in my convertible buying nice things. However I am in fact going around checking each listing on market to ensure that they are clean, the booties are replaced, marketing materials are stocked, light bulbs are all working, staging looks crisp and the list truly goes on. That of course, doesn’t include the tasks we do to properly market the property such as weekly email blasts, reaching out several times to follow up with showing agents to get their feedback, check the market to see what our competition looks like, what’s under contract and why, and again…..I could go on. Needless to say the most important and time consuming tasks are those that are done when the property is on market.
• “Contract to close” management – the term contract to close is pretty much what it sounds like – it’s what happens from the time we go under contract until we reach the closing finish line and you have those keys. Once a trusted real estate professional has fiercely negotiated on your behalf as a buyer, the fun starts. Again pops up this vendor list – helping guide you though selection of a home inspector, termite inspector, etc. for the inspections. A title attorney is needed (depending on your jurisdiction) and any other vendors for quotes like renovations, etc., that you might want done to the property. Once the inspection is completed and we go through possible re-negotiations then we must ensure that the lender has the documents needed from you completed in order to have the appraisal done to prove the value of the home you are under contract for. Now we are getting into the weeds – but once we are on the other side of things and the appraisal comes back at value and the loan is clear to close then we are at the finish line to your new home.
A similar story can be told if you are selling your home. The appraisal is a very important part of the checklist as that is the value in which your home is worth. The appraiser is a third party that neither the buyer, seller, lender or myself have any allegiance to. I do, however, have the duty to educate said appraiser on why I chose the listing price and how I came up with that value.
• Post-market vendors. As mentioned before, a real estate professional should have a book of well vetted vendors from which to choose. Looking at the list of vendors now that we are on the other side of the table – I can provide a cleaning person, HVAC contractor, someone to repair the sprinkler system, a dog walker, the best caterers and bakery in town. Further down the road I am able to provide a wonderful wealth manager who can tell you what to do with that piece of real estate you purchased some time ago and we could go on for days.
While you are fully entitled to not use a real estate agent during your real estate transaction, I do believe that it is well within the realm of possibilities to say that without one there would be loose ends not completely tied up, things mismanaged and possible delays that could cost real cash. All of that aside, it is also such a truly wonderful experience to work alongside a trusted professional that at the end of the transaction becomes a new friend and family member. Real estate professionals love what they do, they love real estate and people and sheepherding you through the home buying or selling process is what it’s all about to us.
Justin Noble is a Realtor with Sotheby’s international Realty licensed in D.C., Maryland, and Delaware for your DMV and Delaware Beach needs. Specializing in first-time homebuyers, development and new construction as well as estate sales, Justin is a well-versed agent, highly regarded, and provides white glove service at every price point. Reach him at 202-503-4243, [email protected] or BurnsandNoble.com.
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