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Travel: Gay summer getaways

Upcoming travel season offers something for every taste

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Olivia Travel, gay news, Washington Blade
Wonderland Weekend, gay travel, gay news, Washington Blade

A recent Wonderland Weekend pool party. (Photo courtesy Wonderland Weekend)

This summer, trade shoveling snow for bead tossing in New Orleans, swap Beltway traffic for roping a sexy cowboy in New Mexico or trade the humdrum neighborhood bar for the opening of the world’s largest gay nightclub in Vegas. Here are a few scintillating ideas to flirt with before packing your bags for your summer vacation.

Bear Town Weekend

Portland

June 6-9, Portland hosts the 18th annual Bear Town Weekend, where an average of 400 bears and bear lovers come out to celebrate at events such as the Pirate’s Booty UnderBear Dance, Taste of Portland, the “Shed the Shirt” T-Shirt Exchange, Bingo with the Sisters and the Mr. Oregon Bear Breakfast. The registration for all events is $125. Some other events to check out that weekend include the Rose Festival and Portland’s Fleet Week.

beartownweekend.com

Where to stay: The Jupiter Hotel is the host hotel for Bear Town weekend

Queer Walking Tours

Toronto

Looking to do something active this summer? The Toronto Queer Walking Tours company was created to highlight how the gay community has evolved over time to inhabit different parts of Toronto. You will have the opportunity to walk neighborhoods such as Allan Gardens and Gay Village, with tour stops at the Glad Day Bookstore, Village gay bars and the Canadian Gay Lesbian Archives. The mission of the company is “through knowledge and education we can better understand what makes up a queer community and how the past has changed the way we see ourselves and others.” The tours run year long and range from $10-$20, or hire a private tour guide, which starts at $50.

torontoqueerwalkingtours.com

Where to stay: The Delta Chelsea Hotel Downtown is located near the Village

Out at Universal Studios

Los Angeles

Out at Universal, gay travel, gay news, Washington Blade

A recent Out at Universal event in Los Angeles. (Photo courtesy Universal)

Party promoter Tom Whitman is throwing the ninth annual Out at Universal/Wonderland party, which takes place at Universal Studios Theme Park on June 8. Explore your wild side by trying some of the Universal Studios attractions, such as Transformers 3D The Ride, the Simpsons Ride and Jurassic Park The Ride, all of which will be open to guests. The main dance party takes place from 10 p.m.-4 a.m., which is hosted by Club Papi, Masterbeat and Tom Whitman Presents. The presale price for the Out at Universal/ Wonderland party pass is $85. Other events during Wonderland Weekend include an exclusive Beverly Hills estate pool party, Saturday afterhours and a Sunday tea dance.

wonderlandweekend.com

Where to stay: The SLS Hotel in West Hollywood is located near the gay nightlife

Krave Massive

Las Vegas 

If you are thinking of visiting Vegas this summer, it would be wise to do so on June 15, where the world’s largest gay nightclub will be unveiled. Located in downtown Las Vegas, Krave Massive will be an astonishing 80,000 square foot venue, which will feature five individually themed dance rooms, a state-of-the-art sound system, huge video walls, along with high-tech special effects. What separates this gay nightclub from the rest is that it is not only a dance space, but it will also be home to a gay comedy club, a retail store, a multi-purpose room, a lesbians-only dance lounge, as well as the country’s only LGBT movie theater.

kravemassive.com.

Where to stay: The Wynn Las Vegas has its own dedicated LGBT concierge

Olivia Travel

Olivia Travel, gay news, Washington Blade

(Photo by Tina Silano; courtesy Olivia Travel)

San Francisco-based Olivia Travel bills itself as the world’s “premier provider of lesbian cruise, resort and adventure vacations.” It has several lavish summer trips planned including a cruise to Ireland and the Scotland British Isles (July 18-25), a Provence-to-Burgundy Riverboat Cruise (July 30-Aug. 6), several exotic fall adventures and a wide array of 2014 trips planned as well.

Visit Olivia.com for full details. Or call 800-631-6277 or 415-962-5700. Monthly payment plans are available.

Gay Rodeo

Sante Fe, N.M.

During the weekend of Aug. 9-11, the New Mexico Gay Rodeo Association presents its 22nd annual Zia Regional rodeo, which consists of events like bull riding, steer wrestling, bareback bronco riding and calf-roping. Witness some of the light-hearted camp events, including wild drag steer-riding, steer decorating and a comical display of putting underwear on goats. The weekend comes to a close with a dance at a local bar or host hotel. Tickets are around $25 for the two-day event.

nmgra.com

Where to stay: Host hotel TBD

Northalsted Market Days

Chicago

On Aug. 10-11, visitors to Chicago will be able to experience the largest two-day street fair in the Midwest. The Northalsted Market Days event spans six city blocks and features about 40 musicians, including Olivia Newton-John, The Pointer Sisters and Karmin. This live music festival is free, with a suggested donation of $8. The event draws a lively, upscale crowd featuring more than 400 food and arts and crafts vendors.

northalsted.com.

Where to stay: The Amalfi Hotel is located 4 miles from Northalsted

Tropical Heat and Womenfest

Key West, Fla.

Key West, Tropical Heat, gay travel, gay news, Washington Blade

A Tropical Heat pool party in Key West. (Photo courtesy Key West Business Guild)

In a city where the chief of police is gay and rainbow flags wave proudly throughout the island, it only makes sense for Key West to be the host of two hot week-long summer parties: one for the girls and one for the boys. Tropical Heat takes place Aug. 15-18, and became known for its clothing-optional pool parties and snorkeling trips. Events taking place this year include toga parties, a wild drag show, “not your grandmother’s bingo”, a dungeon fetish party and the “Name Our Cock” fundraiser, which benefits Key West wildlife.

tropicalheatkw.com

The 31st annual Womenfest takes place Sept. 3-8, where an estimated 5,000 women participate in weeklong arts and music events. Womenfest has become a popular spot for women’s groups, such as Sister Funk and Emily Saliers of the Indigo Girls. Each night, lesbian bands play at four or five nightclubs, which are free. There are sunset dinner cruises, clothing-optional snorkeling and kayaking, a comedy show at the Cuban-owned San Carlos Institute and mechanical bull-riding at Cowboy Bills Honky Tonk Saloon.

womenfest.com/

Where to stay: Alexander’s Guesthouse is a gay and lesbian resort

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Real Estate

Don’t procrastinate buying your home

Some experts predict rates will fall in June

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Spring is in the air and it’s a great time to buy a new home.

As springtime fills the air, cherry blossoms are blooming, much of the year still lies ahead and many have started to think about how they are progressing with their 2024 goals. If the dream of buying a house was put on hold when the interest rates went from 3% to almost 8%, and life got in the way of an idea that had gotten onto your to-do list, maybe now is the time to dust it off. 

Mortgage lender Tina Del Casale from Sandy Spring Bank says, “There is still hope the Fed will be happy with inflation numbers by June to finally pull the trigger on lowering interest rates.”  

The rates might not be as low as they were in 2021, but historically, they are still not as high as they were 20 years ago. Some people’s parents remember getting interest rates that were 12%, 14% or even higher.   

One of the biggest questions I get at homebuyer seminars is about is the process. What is buying a house ACTUALLY like?  I usually tell them that it’s like anything else. One step at a time. One form at a time. One bank transfer at a time. One house showing at a time. One home inspection at a time. If you have the wherewithal to plan a vacation, you can buy a house. 

  • Finding a Realtor
  • Finding a lender to get pre-approved (how much is your budget and what is a comfortable monthly payment)
  • Are there any first-time buyer programs that could be used? Is there down payment assistance?
  • Looking at the houses.
  • Finding one you like, and putting an offer together:
    • An offer usually involves a sales contract, any special forms that the jurisdictions require (lead-based paint acknowledgements, what appliances and systems in the house are included/excluded, if the home is part of a homeowners association, or a condo association, etc.)
    • Any forms related to getting an inspection done.
    • Who is selling the house, who is buying the house, how much is it being sold for, where it is exactly, and who are the others involved in the transaction (title company, agents, etc.)?
  • Getting any inspections done.
  • Negotiating any changes in the sales price or terms, or credits for inspection items.
  • Getting the final approval for the loan and then going to settlement.

Many people get interested in buying a house, but the “unknown” of it all can be daunting. It could be that the best way to think about it, is that like most things in life, you can’t cross every bridge BEFORE you get there. You just take it one day at a time. Some things will be surprisingly easy. Some things will require the advice of experienced lenders, Realtors, home inspectors and title attorneys.  

But if the process doesn’t begin somewhere, somehow, the idea just stays in one’s head in the “to do list” file.  And then 3 years go by, 5 years go by, 7 years go by. And your friends that DID buy a house laugh themselves to the bank when they go to sell the house they bought 3 years ago, 5 years ago, or 7 years ago.

If you need any recommendations for a local lender or Realtor, please don’t hesitate to ask.

Joseph Hudson is a referral agent with Metro Referrals. Reach him at [email protected] or 703-587-0597.

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Advice

Giving up drinking is killing our relationship

What happens when one partner is sober and the other isn’t

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I’m a 38-year-old guy, was single for most of my 30s, which I didn’t like at all, and I finally met a great guy last Memorial Day Weekend. 

Until New Year’s I would have said that everything was going great. I was on Cloud Nine. Eric is kind, handsome, smart, and a great catch.

But in December he decided to do “Dry January.” It was kind of on a whim I think. We were out with some friends and one of them said he was not going to drink at all for the month of January. He thought alcohol was playing too big a role in his life so he wanted to see what life would be like without it. Another friend said he would do it too, and then Eric said he would.

I wish we hadn’t gone out that night and then this whole thing wouldn’t have happened.

So, as the month progressed, Eric started talking more and more about how much better he was feeling without alcohol in his body or his life.

I don’t think we drank that much pre-January. Yes, we’d have something to drink every time we went out, with friends or just together, but not to excess.

At some point, Eric started saying that he wasn’t really enjoying going out with our friends, as he wasn’t drinking and they were (except the two friends who were also doing the Dry January thing). This meant I’d either go out without him (which I didn’t like) or we’d stay home, or go out just the two of us. But then if I’m drinking and he’s not, it just feels awkward. He hasn’t said anything but I feel like he’s judging me whenever I have a drink.

I was hoping he’d relax about the whole thing at the end of the month but now he’s decided he doesn’t want to drink anymore at all.

To make matters worse, he says that the month made him think more about the big role alcohol plays in his life (his words) and he has started going to Alcoholics Anonymous meetings.

So where does this leave me? I do want to keep drinking. I’m just a social drinker and I don’t have a problem with alcohol. I think it adds a fair amount of fun to my life. Plus, all my friends drink (including the two who did Dry January) and it’s a big part of our socializing. If you don’t drink when everyone else is drinking, it’s really not fun and it feels weird.

At this point Eric doesn’t go out with the friend group we were going out with because he doesn’t have a good time as the only non-drinker. (I get it, that’s one of the reasons I drink when my friends are drinking.) So I go out sometimes without him, which as I mentioned doesn’t feel so good, and which I don’t think is great for our relationship; or I don’t go out with my friends, which I don’t like.

I love Eric and I could see us having a great life together but his not drinking has opened what feels like a chasm between us.

How do couples handle this situation, where one person wants to stop drinking and the other does not? The impact is seeming increasingly huge to me and I don’t see how to make it stop being a divisive problem.

Michael replies:

I don’t think that Eric’s sobriety needs to be a divisive problem, if you can tolerate that you don’t get to have your life with Eric be exactly as you would like. 

This is the same dilemma that everyone in a serious relationship must face. Our partners are always different from us in some important ways, even if it doesn’t seem that way at first. And we have to figure out how to live with these differences, contentedly for the most part.  Our partners face the same challenge. 

Of course, not every difference can be (or should be) resolvable. For example, if one person is determined to parent and the other person is determined to be child-free, it makes great sense to part ways — unless one person decides they’d rather stay with their partner than have it their way.  

You and Eric have to figure out if your differences around alcohol are a deal-breaker, or if you can find a way to build a solid relationship, even as you drink socially and he is sober.

Whether and how you do this are for the two of you to figure out.  That said, here are some ideas for your consideration: 

  • Can you accept Eric’s not joining you for some or even many of your social activities?
  • Can you and Eric talk about what might help him be more comfortable joining your friends now and then?
  • Can you ask Eric what it’s like for him when you are drinking, rather than assuming that he is judging you? (Important question for your consideration: What led you to make that assumption rather than asking him?)
  • If Eric is making friends in Alcoholics Anonymous, would you want to join him at times when he socializes with them? 

The main ingredients here are generosity, flexibility, collaboration, and curiosity.

Speaking of curiosity, rather than wishing that the two of you had missed that invitation to participate in Dry January, how about being curious about Eric’s decision to stop drinking? I suspect that your dismissiveness has a negative impact on his desire to be close to or confide in you. If you are curious about this important life change that Eric is undertaking, you will certainly learn a lot about your boyfriend, and likely deepen your connection.

Michael Radkowsky, Psy.D. is a licensed psychologist who works with couples and individuals in D.C. He can be found online at michaelradkowsky.com. All identifying information has been changed for reasons of confidentiality. Have a question? Send it to [email protected].

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Real Estate

Down payment strategies: Financing your home purchase 

Understanding the options key to unlocking the door to a dream home

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Looking for your dream home? First, you need to understand how to make the down payment.

Navigating the path to homeownership can be a complex journey, especially when it comes to accumulating the necessary down payment. For members of our LGBTQ community, understanding the available options for saving and financing this crucial aspect of home buying is key to unlocking the door to their dream home. Let’s explore effective methods and resources specifically designed to support LGBTQ individuals on their path to homeownership.

Traditional Savings Strategies

Saving for a down payment often begins with traditional methods such as setting aside a portion of your income into a dedicated savings account. High-yield savings accounts and automated savings plans, some offering up to 5% interest in today’s market, can expedite the process, providing a disciplined approach to accumulate funds over time. Additionally, exploring investment opportunities that match your risk tolerance can offer potential growth for your down payment savings.

Down Payment Assistance Programs

A variety of down payment assistance programs exist to help homebuyers with their initial costs. These programs often offer grants or low-interest loans to first-time homebuyers or those who haven’t owned a home in the past three years. 

It’s essential to speak with a GayRealEstate.com agent to determine what programs may be available, plus online research into local and state assistance programs, as many are designed to support individuals in specific communities, including the LGBTQ+ community.

For medical professionals, police, teachers, firefighters, and other community heroes, there are several special loan and assistance programs designed to help with home purchases, often offering benefits like down payment assistance, reduced closing costs, and more favorable loan terms.

The Hero Home Loan Program provides first responders, including police officers, firefighters, and paramedics, with benefits such as lower interest rates and reduced closing costs. This program aims to make homeownership more accessible by offering more flexible credit score requirements and down payment assistance .

For educators, firefighters, law enforcement officers, and medical professionals, the Everyday Hero Housing Assistance Fund (EHHAF) offers closing cost assistance through gift funds. This program is designed to support those who serve their communities by making homeownership more affordable, with no repayment required for the grant funds​​.

The HUD Good Neighbor Next Door Program offers up to 50% off the list price of homes for law enforcement officers, pre-Kindergarten through 12th-grade teachers, firefighters, and emergency medical technicians. This initiative aims to encourage community revitalization by assisting these professionals in homeownership within the communities they serve​​.

Homes for Heroes provides assistance specifically to first responders and offers significant savings through Hero Rewards when buying, selling, or refinancing a home. On average, participants save $3,000, with the program offering real estate and mortgage specialist connections tailored to the needs of first responders​​.

LGBTQ-Friendly Lending Options

Finding a lender that understands and supports the unique needs of our LGBTQ community can make a significant difference. Some lenders and organizations specialize in offering inclusive financial products and resources to assist LGBTQ+ homebuyers. These may include specialized mortgage products, financial planning services, and guidance through the home buying process.

The journey to homeownership is a milestone that requires careful planning and support. Remember, every step taken towards saving and financing your home purchase brings you closer to the dream of homeownership.

(GayRealEstate.com offers valuable resources and advice tailored to meet the unique needs of our LGBTQ+ community in their journey towards homeownership. For more comprehensive guidance and support in navigating the home buying process, visit GayRealEstate.com choose an agent and start a no-obligation conversation today.)

Jeff Hammerberg is founding CEO of Hammerberg & Associates, Inc. Reach him at [email protected].

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