Arts & Entertainment
Local gay coaches find support from students, parents
‘Building trust holds the relationship together’
With the LGBT sports movement receiving more national media attention over the past several years, there have been multiple headlines about coaches coming out as gay to their teams. Some of the names that have made the news are high school basketball coach Anthony Nicodemo in Philadelphia and high school track coach Micah Porter of Denver.
In the D.C. metro area, there are a number of LGBT coaches who have been instructing straight athletes for years, even decades. When asked what the obstacles have been for them, the answers offer some surprises.
The relationship between a coach and an athlete is a special one and often the coach becomes a surrogate parent to the athlete and a good friend to the athlete’s family. The announcements of the above mentioned coaches certainly prompted many to wonder if the relationship between a coach and an athlete is different if a gay coach is instructing a group of straight athletes.
Brendan Roddy began swimming competitively at age 11 and continued to do so through college at Salisbury State University. As a 14-year-old he became a junior swim coach for Rockville Montgomery Swim Club and then coached at Salisbury State University during grad school.
After returning to the area as a teacher at Churchill High School, Roddy realized he missed coaching and became the swimming and diving coach at the high school.
“Parents that are ‘with it’ caught on quickly that I was gay,” says Roddy. “The others figured it out eventually. The kids would generally test the waters with pronouns when asking about my personal life. If they asked directly, I would tell them.”
Roddy says that his sexual orientation rarely comes up in conversations with his athletes or their parents and it has never stood in the way of his coaching.
“Building a level of trust and respect is what holds the athlete/coach relationship together,” says Roddy. “It is amazing how much kids have evolved over the past decade. The smiles on their faces are what keeps me in it.”
Jeff Nolt began his figure skating career in New York and as it progressed, trained in Pennsylvania and Delaware. In the early 1980s, he qualified for nationals as a pairs team with his sister Susan. Following their retirement from competitive skating, they performed in the Ice Capades for two years.
Nolt started coaching in Syracuse and eventually his work brought him to the Baltimore/Washington area. His students range in age from six to 60.
“The parents of my students trust who I am and there is no fear of me being gay,” Nolt says. “The bottom line is that I get paid to teach people how to skate choreographically and technically correct. Kids can smell you a mile away; if you are unprepared and have doubts about yourself, the respect and trust will never come.”
He adds, “I like being a mentor. It is exciting to know that I can have an impact on someone’s life and it is important for me to give back what I have learned.”
Sami Holtz grew up in Montgomery County and began competing in soccer and swimming at age eight. She eventually changed over to softball and took on rugby during her college years at Johnson and Wales and Springfield College. She also played full-contact football in the Independent Women’s Football League.
She began coaching swimming in New England, which led to a coaching position in the Montgomery County Swim League in 2007. She is now coaching swimming at Forest Knolls and the Silver Spring YMCA.
“In the community I work in, nobody cares that I am gay,” says Holtz. “The only discrimination I have encountered was related to my religious beliefs.”
Holtz says that one of her swimmers has two moms and another teenage swimmer recently came out as gay.
“His mother thought it would be nice if we connected at Capital Pride this past June,” Holtz says laughing.
Akil Patterson was a three-sport, all-state athlete during his years at Frederick High School and went on to play football at the University of Maryland. He left the Terps and played two years at California University of Pennsylvania.
He later played for the United Indoor Football League. After an Arena Football tryout his weight ballooned to 380 pounds and he ended up back on the University of Maryland campus where a wrestling coach asked him to work with their heavyweights.
He went on to become a coach with the Terps wrestling program and the Terrapin Wresting Club (TWC). The TWC provides training and competitive opportunities for the wrestling community and for post-collegiate wrestlers who have international aspirations. They are an official Regional Olympic Training Center of USA Wrestling.
Patterson coaches athletes who range in age from 13 to 22 and says that his sexual orientation is also a non-issue.
“I know that some people trash talk me behind my back for being gay, but I am not ashamed and I am not shy,” says Patterson. “Anyone that knows me knows that I am all about the athletes. I love my kids.”
Patterson has developed trusting and respectful relationships with his athletes and their families over the years. He has been asked by parents to step in when their children are not doing well in school.
“I have an athlete whose father is with the U.S. Marshals and he volunteered to speak at diversity training for the Marshals,” says Patterson. “When he stepped up to the microphone he simply stated; my son loves his coach and my son looks up to his coach.”
Patterson adds, “I believe that one’s sexuality transcends sports.”
Movies
Nick Kroll and Andrew Rannells want to adopt baby in ‘I Don’t Understand You’
Film premiered at SXSW in Austin
Editor’s note: Jack Morningstar attended SXSW in Austin, Texas.
“I Don’t Understand You” focuses on a couple whose romantic Italian getaway devolves into bloody chaos while they prepare to adopt their first child.
The film, while veering into hilariously gruesome hijinks, tells the story of a gay couple who is willing to kill for a chance at fatherhood. It sheds light on the hurdles that same-sex couples often go through in the adoption process: Financial burdens, time constraints, fraud, and in this case, a rural Italian family.
The film premiered last weekend at SXSW in Austin and stars Nick Kroll and Andrew Rannells along with Nunzia Schiano, Morgan Spector and Eleonora Romandini. It was written and directed by Brian Crano and David Craig, who are married. They sourced inspiration from their own adoption struggles and an Italian vacay gone wrong.
“We were about to leave for Italy when we found out that we had matched with a birth mother and our son would be born in about six weeks,” said Crano.
According to Craig, the trip was tense and it culminated in their car getting stuck in a ditch on their way to an anniversary dinner.
“We ended up at an old lady’s house after she rescued us in her Fiat. Her family cooked us a meal and we stayed up drinking with them until 3 a.m., not understanding a word they were saying,” he said.
Without spoiling anything, the couple in the movie go to absurd lengths to ensure that their adoption goes through. Craig explained that the theme of the movie was “what would you do for your kid.”
“We were three years into our own journey at the time and realized we would literally do anything to make that dream a reality. It’s really a love letter to our son,” he said.
The film is hard to relegate to a single genre.
“When conceiving the story, we saw it as different parts — romantic comedy, horror movie, murder play — but I think by bringing in Nick and Andrew that blend actually became much more of an organic mix where the comedy sustained throughout. They elevated it in a more elegant fashion,” said Craig.
“I Don’t Understand You”was produced by Pinky Promise, a women-led production company with the mission to elevate diverse voices in their storytelling. Kara Durrett, Pinky Promise’s current president was a champion of this script from the beginning. Founder Jessamine Burgum recounts that when Durrett was onboarding, she said “If you don’t get [“I Don’t Understand You”] I don’t know if this is going to work.”
It ultimately became one of the first projects Burgum and Durrett collaborated on.
Kroll and Rannells’ chemistry carried the film.
“There was a desire to work with each of them because they had both separately been in such amazing comedian teams — like Andrew with Josh Gad and Nick with John Mulaney. Nick and Andrew’s characters are in almost every scene of the movie together, so they needed to be adept to basically doing a shared performance. There was no one more well-positioned to do this as naturally as possible,” said Crano.
Their characters are easy to root for, yet also deeply flawed.
“A big thing we wanted to do with this movie, and with all of our work in telling stories, is avoid telling a cliched gay trauma film. We’ve never ascribed to the idea that there is a subcategory to film that is LGBTQ, rather — movies are for everyone. We want to make a movie where gay characters are flawed, not for being gay, but because of who they are. They can be villains, but they are our protagonists,” said Craig.
Out & About
Celebrate spring with these D.C.-area events
Galas, Cherry Weekend, Pride, and more on tap
Temperatures outside are starting to rise and the sun is shining again. Here’s a list of upcoming D.C. events that can make enjoying the good weather even that much more thrilling.
Cherry Weekend Washington begins on Thursday, April 4. The Cherry weekend is a spectacular and joyous event held over four days featuring 16 world renowned DJs, nine different events and four fun daytime parties.
3rd Friday Night Open Mic will take place on Thursday, March 15 at 9 p.m. at the Bus Boys and Poets location in Brookland. This event will be hosted by Mariah Barber (they/she), a queer storyteller, consultant, spoken word artist, and activist who has been creating social justice-oriented art for the last 15 years. Tickets start at $5 and can be purchased on Eventbrite.
RuPaul’s Drag Race Season 15 winner Sasha Colby will bring her Sasha Colby: Stripped Tour to the Howard Theatre on Wednesday, March 27 at 6:30 p.m. Tickets are $75 and can be purchased on the Howard Theatre’s website.
Decades DC returns with Throwback Thursdays on Thursday, March 14 at 10 p.m. This event will have an open air rooftop and the first drink is on the house. Entry is free until midnight and more details are available on Eventbrite.
Skin and Wellness Center will host Equinox Celebration on Tuesday, March 19 at 7 p.m. at 929 W. Broad St. This event will involve movement, breath work, meditation and community connection to celebrate the spring equinox and embrace energies of rebirth, fertility, creativity, balance, and expansive growth for mind, body, and spirit. Tickets cost $28.52 and can be purchased on Eventbrite.
Models Inc. will host The Front Row! Fashion Show on Saturday, March 30 at 7 p.m. at the Silver Spring Black Box Theatre. This is the ultimate destination for designers seeking to showcase their talent and brand. This exclusive event provides a platform to promote artistry and visions, featuring various artists, creatives, fashion enthusiasts, models, stylists, and visionaries. Tickets start at $35 and can be purchased on Eventbrite.
Spring Bling Adult Prom will be on Friday, April 26 at 8 p.m. at Graces Event Center. Guests are encouraged to wear their favorite spring colors and show up for a night of dancing, food and fun.Tickets cost $92.55 and can be purchased on Eventbrite.
TSR Productions will host Spring Salsa Bash on Saturday, March 23 at 8 p.m. at The Salsa Room Tysons. This event will feature Hermanos Galvan and Orquesta live in concert playing the best salsa, bachata, and merengue. There will also be top DJs playing the best in Latin trap, urbana, reggaetton. Tickets start at $25 and can be purchased on Eventbrite.
We Will Survive Cancer will host Spring Fling Cocktail & Dance Party on Saturday, April 20 at 7:30 p.m. at Whino. This event will be hosted by DJ Steve. Tickets cost $25 and all proceeds are donated to cancer patients. More details are on Eventbrite.
Chase Brexton Health Care hosts its 2024 Gala at the Baltimore Museum of Art, with the theme centered around the NEW Roaring ‘20s on Saturday, March 30. Details at chasebrexton.org.
CAMP Rehoboth’s annual Women’s FEST is scheduled for April 25-28. Lea DeLaria will headline with Crys Matthews opening. Visit camprehoboth.org for details.
Trans Pride Washington, D.C. is scheduled for Saturday, May 18. The full day of conference activities will take place at the Martin Luther King Jr. Memorial Library. Visit transpridewashingtondc.org for details.
The Blade’s 17th annual Summer Kickoff Party in Rehoboth Beach is scheduled for Friday, May 17; details to be announced soon.
D.C.’s 49th annual Pride celebration kicks off May 31-June 9, culminating with the parade and festival. Visit capitalpride.org for details. The annual Pride on the Pier with fireworks celebration is slated for Saturday, June 8, 2-9 p.m. at the Wharf. Visit prideonthepierdc.com for details.
The Tryst Puerto Vallarta begins welcoming discerning gay guests this spring, just in time for the Mexican resort city’s Pride celebrations.
The 55-room resort includes a penthouse suite featuring two terraces, three large suites with expansive living areas and terraces and several junior suites with unique features. A highly anticipated rooftop pool with a bar area and restaurant offering fine Mexican cuisine are just some of the highlights.
“You can stay here and never leave the resort,” said Tristan Schukraft, the driving force behind Tryst Hotels, and self-described CEO of “everything gay.”
While he started out in his career working in the early days of electronic ticketing, Schukraft may be more known for his work with MISTR, a popular online source for PrEP. He also recently entered into an agreement to purchase the Abbey in West Hollywood, Calif.
With Tryst he promises “it’s a fun, exciting atmosphere.”
“The idea is not just the guests are coming to the resort, but locals,” said Schukraft. “So, when you stay here it’s the way to mingle with the local gay community.”
To welcome and include both guests and locals, the resort will host drag brunches in the hotel restaurant. Weekend parties featuring DJs on the eighth floor pool and bar area also seeks to make this not just a place to stay, but one to celebrate with the community.
Schukraft hopes visitors will get to know guests or locals poolside, or in the restaurant, and make lifelong friendships.
Or perhaps find a bit of romance: After all the hotel is set in the famed Zona Romántica.
“Tryst Hotels are not merely luxury destinations; they are a celebration of gay culture, where every guest is embraced,” said Schukraft. “Our mission is to create spaces where luxury and identity flourish without compromise.”
The D.C. Travel and Adventure Show took place last month in D.C., and LGBTQ-specific travel was among the topics the convention highlighted. The Washington Blade in its preview of the expo noted LGBTQ travelers may book a resort or vacation that promises “everyone is welcome,” but upon arrival feel uncomfortable by reactions of staff or other guests due to expressing their identity as queer people.
Schukraft has experienced this.
“I was at a hetero-friendly hotel Miami, but it was also marketed to gay men,” he explained. “So, you have two guys kissing at the pool and you have a straight couple looking over and wondering are they staying at a gay hotel. It’s sort of an awkward occurrence.”
Everyone, therefore, is welcome at Tryst resorts, but it is not being marketed outside of the community.
“My boyfriends and I have even experienced side-eye glances for our choice of swimwear,” Schukraft said. “You won’t find that at Tryst Hotels.”
Speaking of attire: Many luxury guesthouses, inns and hotels catering to gay men offer clothing-optional zones for guests. It’s an allure for some travelers.
But, not at Tryst.
“Don’t get me wrong, clothing optional resorts are fun, but that’s not our concept. Our concept is a luxurious, inclusive resort,” Schukraft said with a touch of elan apropos for the “CEO of everything gay.” “Of course wear your thongs [and] Speedos.”
Tryst Puerto Vallarta and Tryst San Juan in Puerto Rico, which is slated to open in 2025, are being marketed as gay-owned, gay-focused resorts with luxurious offerings and amenities. Many resorts known to epitomize luxury may be seen as slightly conservative or “stuffy.”
Luxury promises not to come only in the form of superior bedding, bathrobes, slippers and skincare products, but also in the stunning interiors.
The Puerto Vallarta property engaged the same studio known for their acclaimed work at the Four Seasons Tamarindo. Designers from Estudio Esterlina bring a refined mix of minimalism, modernism and Mexican.
“Why can’t you have fun and luxury in the same space? Here, you let your hair down by the pool, enjoy a pool party, a fine Mexican meal in our full-service restaurant, a drag brunch on weekends and socialize with new friends all while feeling safe,” Schukraft said. “Our goal is to show luxury doesn’t have to mean stuffy.”