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Myth: ‘We have to get married to protect ourselves’

Debunking misconceptions of estate planning

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right to wed, gay news, Washington Blade
right to wed, gay news, Washington Blade, married

You don’t have to get married to protect your assets.

This is the second in a series of seven articles to help you understand what you do know, don’t know and should know about estate planning.

Let me be clear as I can be about this: You do not have to be married to enjoy a broad range of protections, but you do have to work harder to get them.

Sure, we fought hard for marriage, in part because marriage makes it easier to protect your family. Nevertheless, now as before, tying the knot isn’t right for everybody…or even required in order for your partner to be protected under the law. There are good and valid reasons why some couples choose not to marry. Back when marriage wasn’t an option, we were forced to create estate-planning tactics that, fortunately, still work for unmarried couples. Depending on whether you live in D.C., Virginia or Maryland, the rights available to unmarried couples are very different.

Healthcare power of attorney

The good news is that all of our local jurisdictions allow you to name your partner as the person who will make healthcare decisions for you if you can’t. You achieve that with a healthcare power of attorney, and it is essential. Without it, your protections vary depending on where you live, and that can be bad news. In Maryland you may be able to get that decision-making power — but only if you can prove that you are a “domestic partner” by supplying an affidavit and supporting documents. In D.C., you can still register as domestic partners, which for most purposes gives you the same rights as married couples. Virginia is the most problematic. Under current Virginia law, including the infamous Affirmation of Marriage Act, there is no legal recognition of our relationships. There, without a healthcare power of attorney, your nearest relative may make those decisions, whether you’ve been with your partner for six months or 50 years.

Financial power of attorney

This one’s easy. In all of our jurisdictions, a financial power of attorney is required for your partner to be able to manage your finances if you can’t.  Surprisingly, that’s also true for married couples.

Wills

Fortunately, there is no restriction in D.C., Virginia or Maryland on your right to leave assets to your partner in a will if you die. Without a will, though, the outcomes can be very unhappy. If you die without a will in Maryland or Virginia, your partner will inherit nothing at all. In the District, your partner would only inherit if you were registered as domestic partners.  Because of that, it is most critical that unmarried couples have up-to-date wills. There also are differences in the estate tax treatment of unmarried couples depending on the jurisdiction in which you live, but that very complicated subject is more than I can cover in this short space.

My clients frequently asked me whether they should get married. It’s a question that makes me uncomfortable because, as a lawyer, my job is to advise my clients on the rights that accrue from marriage and the pitfalls that go with it, but not to push them into any particular type of relationship. Yet I take my title as “attorney and counselor at law” quite seriously. There are times where getting married can create serious problems. Combining the incomes of two high-earning individuals will generally result in larger income tax bills than if the couple were unmarried. Yet, that is not universally true because the tax code is so complicated. If you’re worried about your situation, then you should ask your accountant to run projections as to what your tax returns would look like if you were married as opposed to two individuals filing separately. Other factors come into play when one partner has high income or large assets and the other does not. I’ll tackle ways to deal with some these issues later in this series.

(This column is not intended to provide legal advice, but only general guidance that may or may not be applicable to your specific situation.)

Larry Jacobs has helped hundreds of same-sex couples and LGBT singles in the Washington area protect their assets and loved ones through partnership planning. He is a partner at McMillan Metro, P.C. and has practiced law for 41 years. He is admitted to the bar in Maryland, Virginia and the District of Columbia. Learn more at PartnerPlanning.com.

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Real Estate

Down payment strategies: Financing your home purchase 

Understanding the options key to unlocking the door to a dream home

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Looking for your dream home? First, you need to understand how to make the down payment.

Navigating the path to homeownership can be a complex journey, especially when it comes to accumulating the necessary down payment. For members of our LGBTQ community, understanding the available options for saving and financing this crucial aspect of home buying is key to unlocking the door to their dream home. Let’s explore effective methods and resources specifically designed to support LGBTQ individuals on their path to homeownership.

Traditional Savings Strategies

Saving for a down payment often begins with traditional methods such as setting aside a portion of your income into a dedicated savings account. High-yield savings accounts and automated savings plans, some offering up to 5% interest in today’s market, can expedite the process, providing a disciplined approach to accumulate funds over time. Additionally, exploring investment opportunities that match your risk tolerance can offer potential growth for your down payment savings.

Down Payment Assistance Programs

A variety of down payment assistance programs exist to help homebuyers with their initial costs. These programs often offer grants or low-interest loans to first-time homebuyers or those who haven’t owned a home in the past three years. 

It’s essential to speak with a GayRealEstate.com agent to determine what programs may be available, plus online research into local and state assistance programs, as many are designed to support individuals in specific communities, including the LGBTQ+ community.

For medical professionals, police, teachers, firefighters, and other community heroes, there are several special loan and assistance programs designed to help with home purchases, often offering benefits like down payment assistance, reduced closing costs, and more favorable loan terms.

The Hero Home Loan Program provides first responders, including police officers, firefighters, and paramedics, with benefits such as lower interest rates and reduced closing costs. This program aims to make homeownership more accessible by offering more flexible credit score requirements and down payment assistance .

For educators, firefighters, law enforcement officers, and medical professionals, the Everyday Hero Housing Assistance Fund (EHHAF) offers closing cost assistance through gift funds. This program is designed to support those who serve their communities by making homeownership more affordable, with no repayment required for the grant funds​​.

The HUD Good Neighbor Next Door Program offers up to 50% off the list price of homes for law enforcement officers, pre-Kindergarten through 12th-grade teachers, firefighters, and emergency medical technicians. This initiative aims to encourage community revitalization by assisting these professionals in homeownership within the communities they serve​​.

Homes for Heroes provides assistance specifically to first responders and offers significant savings through Hero Rewards when buying, selling, or refinancing a home. On average, participants save $3,000, with the program offering real estate and mortgage specialist connections tailored to the needs of first responders​​.

LGBTQ-Friendly Lending Options

Finding a lender that understands and supports the unique needs of our LGBTQ community can make a significant difference. Some lenders and organizations specialize in offering inclusive financial products and resources to assist LGBTQ+ homebuyers. These may include specialized mortgage products, financial planning services, and guidance through the home buying process.

The journey to homeownership is a milestone that requires careful planning and support. Remember, every step taken towards saving and financing your home purchase brings you closer to the dream of homeownership.

(GayRealEstate.com offers valuable resources and advice tailored to meet the unique needs of our LGBTQ+ community in their journey towards homeownership. For more comprehensive guidance and support in navigating the home buying process, visit GayRealEstate.com choose an agent and start a no-obligation conversation today.)

Jeff Hammerberg is founding CEO of Hammerberg & Associates, Inc. Reach him at [email protected].

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Real Estate

Turn your bare walls into captivating focal points

Paint, wallpaper, statement installations and more

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Whether you prefer artwork, paint, wallpaper, or statement walls, there are countless ways to adorn and decorate your walls.

Are you tired of gray walls and white kitchen cabinets with white granite or marble countertops? Have you gone back to the “Builder Beige” that was popular in the ‘90s?

Your walls are the blank canvases of your home, waiting to be transformed into stunning expressions of your personality and style. Whether you prefer vibrant artwork, paint, eye-catching wallpaper, or statement walls, there are countless ways to adorn and decorate your walls to elevate your space. Here’s a guide to help you turn those bare walls into captivating focal points. 

Wallpaper: Wallpaper has again become a versatile option for adding texture, pattern, and color to your walls. Whether you prefer subtle designs or bold prints, there’s a wallpaper to suit every taste. 

It now even comes in peel and stick rolls, so you don’t have a mess of water and paste. For some new designs, check out www.spoonflower.com

Before selecting wallpaper, consider the scale of your room and the atmosphere you want to create. For small spaces, opt for light, airy patterns to make the room feel more spacious. Conversely, in larger rooms, you can go bold with intricate designs or vibrant colors to make a statement. Don’t be afraid to mix and match wallpaper with paint, or even wallpaper the ceilings for a unique and dynamic look.

Statement Walls: Statement walls are a bold way to add personality and drama to any room. From accent paint colors to textured finishes, the possibilities are endless. Consider using a contrasting color or texture to highlight a specific wall and create visual interest. For a contemporary touch, try incorporating geometric patterns or asymmetrical designs with strips of wood. Hand-painted murals are another option for creating striking statement walls. Choose a mural that reflects your interests or transports you to another world for a truly immersive experience.

Paneling/Brick: The shiplap phase may be dying out, but there are still many ways to use wood and paneling in your wall décor. Reclaimed wood is a popular option, as are wood slats such as the ones found at www.woodpanelwalls.com. Use them on walls or ceilings, or as a background for wall-mounted televisions and sconces. Amazon also has lots of options for wood veneer available and exposed brick is popular in many contemporary homes. If you don’t have a brick wall to uncover, select from options such as lightweight faux brick or stone.

Artwork: Art has the power to breathe life into any room. When choosing artwork, consider pieces that resonate with you personally and complement your existing décor. Experiment with a mix of styles, sizes, and mediums to create visual interest. Hang artwork at eye level to ensure it is easily visible and balanced within the space. Enhance gallery walls by arranging multiple pieces in a cohesive layout. Remember that art is subjective, so whether you choose an inexpensive poster or a gallery quality painting, select pieces that speak to you.

Photo Displays: Showcase your favorite memories and moments with a curated photo display. Whether it’s a collection of family photos, travel snapshots, or artistic prints, arranging photos on your walls adds a personal touch to your space. Try out different frames, sizes, and layouts to create a gallery-style display that reflects your unique style. It makes a nice presentation on that odd wall going up your stairs. 

Mirrors: Mirrors are not only functional but also serve as decorative accents that can enhance the visual appeal of any room. Strategically placing mirrors on your walls can create the illusion of space, brighten dark corners, and reflect natural light. Choose mirrors with interesting frames or shapes to add an extra layer of style to your décor. Try different sizes and arrangements to find the perfect balance between form and function.

Textile Hangings: Textile hangings are a bohemian-inspired alternative to traditional wall art. From tapestries to woven rugs, textile hangings add warmth, texture, and color to your walls. Hang a large tapestry behind your bed as a dramatic headboard alternative or layer smaller textiles with framed artwork for a cozy, eclectic look. Consider mixing and matching different textures and patterns to create visual depth and dimension.

Adorning and decorating your walls is a creative and personal process that allows you to infuse your space with personality and style. The key is to trust your instincts and have fun with the process. Use different techniques, colors, and textures until you find the perfect combination that speaks to you and transforms your walls into works of art. With a little imagination and creativity, you can turn any blank wall into a stunning focal point that reflects your unique taste and aesthetic.

Valerie M. Blake is a licensed Associate Broker in D.C., Maryland, and Virginia with RLAH Real Estate/@properties. Call or text her at 202-246-8602, email her via DCHomeQuest.com, or follow her on Facebook at TheRealst8ofAffairs.

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Real Estate

No, you really don’t have to put down 20 percent

There are many options when financing your new home

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When buying your home, there are alternatives to the old 20 percent down requirement.

I was just out at brunch this weekend (I know a gay in D.C. at brunch — groundbreaking). Anyway, I was at brunch and naturally the subject of real estate came up and your boy’s ears perked up and as the resident real estate expert at the table, some of the newcomers were making conversation about some open houses they had been to in the past few weekends, some trends they had seen that they hated that developers seem to continually do in the D.C. area, how unaffordable things are and some comments about where the best areas to invest are in D.C. I just sat and listened while eating my food, which was rather under seasoned, but I digress. The one comment that came up several times that really got me was the affordability comment and what it was based around. It might very well shock you.

When we speak about affordability in the District we are typically speaking to the price of real estate and how expensive it is to purchase a place here in D.C. However, for this conversation – the affordability factor in particular that I was hearing about that piqued my interest was the specific line item of “we have to put down X as a down payment to purchase a home.” The consensus at this brunch table and even when speaking to some buyers on a daily basis is that you must put down 20% to purchase a home. While there are some perks to this, yes. The fact that you MUST put that amount down is just not true. When my parents purchased their first home for $60,000 it was much easier to put down 20% versus a first-time buyer in D.C. putting down 20% for a $600,000 purchase. Furthermore, most buyers are staying in their homes for as little as six years, according to the National Association of Realtors. If you do the math – does it make sense, for your personal situation, to put down 20% versus 5% or 10%? Yes, that’s right – you can purchase a home for as little as 5% down and in some cases as little as 3% down.

When my husband, who was a first-time homebuyer in D.C., purchased his condo, he was able to put down 3% and qualify for a conventional loan. We will stay in this condo for under the average 7-10 years so putting anything more than 3% down for our personal situation just didn’t make sense. Now, because we didn’t put 20% down we pay what is known as PMI, or private mortgage insurance, however it was still worthwhile for him to save the capital and only put the 3% down and pay the small PMI amount monthly as he could put the rest of the 17% he didn’t put into a house in an investment account to yield more. Again, he was a first-time buyer in the District so he qualified for a 3% down loan and the numbers made sense for him. Everyone’s personal situation is different.

According to a 2023 report from the National Association of Realtors the average down payment for a home was 15% while the average down payment when looking at first time buyers was right around 5%. Again, each situation is specific to each person, their credit, finances, debt to income ratio etc., so there is really no recipe that fits every single buyer. It is important to work with a local lender to ensure that you are well qualified and understand which loan packages are out there for you that make the most sense for you so that when you do find that home you are ready to go.

I say all of this to say that gone are the days when you are required to put down 20% in most cases. Depending on the loan type and loan amount – you likely can get away with putting down 5-15% down and save some funds for upgrading from that tragic Ikea dresser from college or hiring a painter because let’s be real, you are not a professional. Like with most things in life you can pick and choose the things that are right for you and a mortgage and its down payment are exactly that same. If you would like to and can put down 20% for a mortgage then please do so – however if you want to get out from under the power and money hungry landlord and buy a condo where you are paying yourself back with equity – you can do so in a manner that is much more affordable than you may have thought possible – especially if you are a first-time buyer in D.C.

Justin Noble is a Realtor with Sotheby’s international Realty licensed in D.C., Maryland, and Delaware for your DMV and Delaware Beach needs. Specializing in first-time homebuyers, development and new construction as well as estate sales, Justin is a well-versed agent, highly regarded, and provides white glove service at every price point. Reach him at 202-503-4243,  [email protected] or BurnsandNoble.com.

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