Commentary
Masterpiece Cakeshop is not about religious freedom
It’s about discrimination — let’s discuss over Thanksgiving dinner
For Halloween, I tried go as Sarah Huckabee Sanders’ left eyebrow. Scary. But my prosthetics guy, an artist I’ve worked with for years, complained her face was so constantly two, three, four and more faced, that he could not get a single still photo to make a model. He said, “Sarah cannot physically actually do a resting bitch face. Restless Face Syndrome. Even Derma-Grip couldn’t help.”
Sometimes I like to play WWSH-SD? What would Sarah Huckabee Sanders do? I picture her in various historical press rooms. Whipping those eyebrow-as-semaphores as she says, “The Visigoths are no threat to our great lands.” Side-mouthing, “Come on guys, there is nothing in that Trojan horse.” Asymetrically deadpanning, “Regarding what happened in Charlottesville, the president has looked at both crowds now.” Oh wait, that happened.
What if Sarah were spokesman for Marie-Antoinette during the French Revolution? When told her starving subjects had no bread, the queen is quoted as saying, “Let them eat cake.” Sarah would have handled that with the flick of her arching left eyebrow. “The queen actually said, in that French language, ‘Qu’ils mangent de la brioche.’ It was a brioche not cake. C’est faux nouvelle.” (tr: “That is fake news”.)
There’s more fake news about cake. On Dec. 5, the Supreme Court will hear oral arguments in Masterpiece Cakeshop, Ltd v. Colorado Civil Rights Commission. In July 2012, Charlie Craig and David Mullins visited the aforementioned cake shop to buy a wedding cake. When shop owner Jack Phillips realized it was for a same-sex couple, he refused to sell it to them based on his religious beliefs.
While the Colorado Civil Rights Commission and the state courts agree that the Cakeshop’s refusal violated Colorado’s Anti-Discrimination Act, the Cakeshop disagrees and argues that discrimination based on religious convictions should be constitutionally protected.
You can thank Hobby Lobby for expanding the scope of religious liberty protections. Prior to that case, courts had never recognized corporations as having any right to “religious freedom.”
The Alliance Defending Freedom argues that ruling against the Cakeshop is a violation of free speech. The bakery and its defenders have been speaking freely, endlessly, about the freedom of religion. The Christian is understood.
Imagine my lesbian-pantheist knitting group, Pussy-Crafters, Ltd, at a holiday pop-up store in the mall. That damnable Little Drummer Boy song is on an endless loop. It sounds like, “Ta-rump-pum-pum-Trump”. “I’m dreaming of a White Supremacist Christmas.” That loop causes one of the sister-vendors to lose her shit. Based on her sincerely held, pantheist beliefs, she refuses to sell one of our pink products to the cocky alt-right guy in the red MAGA hat.
You can only imagine it. Because our case would never make it out of the mall lost and found.
The Masterpiece Cakeshop case is not about religious freedom.
It is about using religion to justify discrimination. It is about privileging religion over the law of the land. That law says the Cakeshop is free to sell whatever it wants. It is not free to decide who to sell it to.
Sanctioning LGBT discrimination would of course set back years of progress for civil rights. If the court recognizes a constitutional right to discriminate, businesses can turn away people of color, single mothers, unmarried cohabitants, Muslims, Jews, interfaith couples and a host of others.
Presumably you’ve re-friended some family members since last year’s awkward, seething Thanksgiving dinner. Over pumpkin pie, bring up the Cakeshop case and discuss what it’s really about. If there’s time, discuss the Armageddon-out-of-here Tax bill. Then cue up Donna Summer and her eight-and-a-half-minute disco-fied version of MacArthur Park.
Scream along with Donna: “Someone left the rainbow cake out in the rain. I don’t think that I can take it, cause it took so long to bake it, and I’ll never have that recipe again.”
Good news: We do actually have a recipe. We saw it in this year’s election. Discuss electoralizing the resistance on your I-can’t-believe-I-ate-the-whole-thing after dinner walk. Next Thanksgiving, we’re serving up the mid-terms!
Kate Clinton is a longtime humorist. She writes regularly for the Blade.
Commentary
Sexting with younger guy has me asking: How queer am I?
Reflections on LGBTQ life in 2024
Once upon a time, not all that long ago, a man sexted another man.
There were words. There were pictures. There were filthy questions and even filthier responses. You know, the way a good sexting convo ought to be, for those who dabble.
One man was 33. The other, 24. And while it comes as no shock that I was the 33-year-old, it may be more surprising to learn it was the 24-year-old who grabbed the reins.
What kinks you into? he asked.
Shit – I didn’t know. I barely even bottomed before the pandemic, and now I had to know my kinks?
I’m open, I replied, evasively. You?
His response left me coughing: “Love musk sweat ws public group rough bb verbal bate edge roleplay and very open-minded.”
Now I’m no prude (in fact, many would call me a downright whore) but this young man articulating his kinks and fetishes in such detail blew my mind. When did he learn what he liked? At 24, all I wanted was to top a guy and leave with as little communication or attachment as possible. At 33, I wasn’t sure what a few of the items he listed even meant.
Perhaps I shouldn’t be surprised when young men — and the younger generation across the LGBTQ spectrum in general — have already figured out their sexual interests. I arrived in D.C. from Idaho in 2008 as a fresh-faced 18-year-old; I came out three years later in 2011. Attitudes toward queerness have shifted substantially since then, and these days it is undeniably easier for younger people to explore their sexual and gender identities (which, by the way, is fantastic).
But this conversation left me wondering: What do I like? I haven’t sought out that many new sexual experiences, and while fetishes, kinks, and sexual desires can seem trivial, they’re inextricably intertwined with gender and relationships. If I can’t articulate what I like in the sack (or in public, if I dare), then how do I know what I’m seeking from a long-term partner, or if that’s even what I want?
As soon as I came out, I thought my job was done. All I needed after that was to snatch up a cutie and settle down. Instead, my identity centered on building my career in politics, where sexual openness isn’t as appreciated. I, like many D.C. queers around me, moved here bright-eyed, bushy-tailed, and ready to change the world for good.
Then came a tough lesson: Just because I wanted to improve the world didn’t mean people wanted me to. I was inexplicably fired from not one job but two, and suddenly the do-gooder in me grew jaded. The career I dedicated years to was suddenly ripped from my hands, and I became so disillusioned I didn’t even want it back. Oh, and the cherry on top: My boyfriend dumped me two days later.
Once everything unraveled, I wondered: Was the me of the past the me I truly wanted? Or was I reflecting back what I thought everyone wanted me to be?
Well, a few major meltdowns and an extended slut phase later, my life couldn’t be more different. I now work at a new gay bar in town to support myself, and I’ve given myself space to pursue the arts. This former straight-laced, type-A, tightly wound gay abandoned the safe track and he couldn’t be more terrified. He also couldn’t be more excited.
But losing my old career also left an existential-sized hole in my identity. So, as I sexted this 24-year-old with newfound awareness of my limitations, I decided this must change.
How? As I said, I work at a gay bar in one of the queerest cities in America. Now more than ever I’m surrounded by those who are LGBTQ and every shade in between. Why not learn from those around me, whether younger, older, or around the same age, but whose experiences are no less queer? Why not carve out time to have in-depth discussions and discover what the possibilities are?
If being queer means to go against the established norms of gender and sexuality, then there’s still plenty of territory for me to explore. No longer can ‘bottom’ or ‘top’ be my only options.
So, the purpose of this column – aptly titled Queer Quest – is to capture my exploration of queer identity. It’s not to teach you as much as it is to teach myself, and you can either learn alongside me or simply be entertained. At the very least, I’ll have a series of portraits on what it’s like to be queer in the mid 2020s. At most, I’ll have a better understanding of who I am as a queer person.
Then maybe, just maybe, I’ll become a better sexter.
Jake Stewart is a D.C.-based writer.
Commentary
What will you do to make Pride safe this year?
Anxiety reigns among American Jews after Oct. 7
Each year, hundreds of thousands of Jews and supporters of Israel attend Pride marches. With a few exceptions, these spaces have always been safe and welcoming for the broader Pride community.
But this year is different.
For American Jews, anxiety reigns as we head into this Pride season. The appalling rise of antisemitism since Oct. 7 forces us to ask difficult questions. As many Jews increasingly feel alienated and excluded from progressive spaces, we’re left to wonder: If I wear a Jewish symbol, march with a Jewish group, or wave a rainbow flag adorned with the Star of David, will I be safe at Pride?
Even before Oct. 7, LGBTQ Jews had plenty of reason to feel trepidation about their safety at Pride. From blanket bans on Stars of David at past Pride gatherings to antisemitism on display at the recent Sydney Pride, too often Jews feel forced to choose between their LGBTQ and Jewish identities and hide their connection to Israel.
Since Oct. 7, terms like “apartheid,” “genocide” and “Zionism equals racism” are increasingly thrown around casually, often without a nuanced understanding of their impact or the realities they oversimplify. This rhetoric not only alienates but also endangers Jewish queer people. It makes us feel emotionally unsafe. It increases the chances that we will be physically unsafe as well.
We must not allow the Israel-Palestine conflict to be imported into Pride.
I will always remember the euphoria of the first Pride rally I attended. I was barely 18 years old, in a crowd of people of all ages, races, genders and gender orientations — and they were like me. Queer. It felt safe. It was the first time I experienced that feeling of safety, and it will always stay with me.
Like Pride events everywhere, it was a vibrant, colorful space for LGBTQ people to celebrate our true authentic selves, without fear or reservation.
But that feeling of safety wasn’t shared by everyone in my small New England town. I soon noticed a few people scattered throughout the crowd wearing paper bags over their heads, with eye holes so they could see but not be seen. I later learned that those faceless people were teachers who, in those days before civil rights protections, needed to protect their identities and their careers.
They did not feel safe. Will Jews and those who are connected to Israel feel safe this year?
The history of Pride is a testament to courage in the face of adversity. It wasn’t long ago when attending Pride events was a defiant act against societal norms, where participants like those teachers faced tangible threats of discrimination, ridicule and even violence. Even today in some places, our queer community still navigates a gauntlet of hatred as we try to celebrate who we are.
It’s crucial to recognize that within the Jewish community, there is a wide spectrum of views on the Israeli-Palestinian conflict, including many who are deeply committed to advocating for Palestinian rights. In fact, many of the 1,200 innocent Israelis murdered on Oct. 7 were Zionists who devoted their lives to reconciliation and peace with their Arab neighbors.
We are at a pivotal moment, one that demands action: What can we do to ensure Pride remains a safe space for everyone, including Jewish participants?
It’s imperative that Pride committees around the country proactively address these concerns. They must implement training programs focused on de-escalation and fostering an environment of understanding and respect.
As individuals who stand in solidarity with the values of Pride, each of us must consider our role in this effort. Will you march alongside those of us who feel vulnerable, offering your presence as a shield against intolerance? Will you engage in dialogues that challenge the importation of external conflicts into Pride, advocating instead for a celebration that unites rather than divides?
The true test of inclusivity at Pride lies not merely in welcoming a diverse crowd, but in ensuring that every participant feels safe and valued. If we remain indifferent to the vulnerabilities faced by Jewish queer people this Pride season, we will fall short of the very ideals of inclusivity and solidarity that Pride stands for.
Just as we expect schools to protect trans and nonbinary students like Nex Benedict, we have a responsibility in the LGBTQ community to ensure that people can carry an Israeli flag or a Palestinian flag, wear a yarmulke or a hijab and be safe.
As we look forward to this year’s Pride, let us commit to making it a space where safety is not a privilege afforded to some but a right enjoyed by all. Let’s engage with our local Pride committees, advocate for comprehensive safety measures and stand in solidarity with those who feel at risk.
Only then can we celebrate the true spirit of Pride, rooted in love, acceptance and the unwavering belief in equality for all.
Ethan Felson is the executive director of A Wider Bridge.
Commentary
A hero has fallen: A tribute to Mike Berman
Former HRC board co-chair was a sophisticated political adviser
A great hero has fallen. He was a gift to many but all should know that he was one of the greatest gifts ever to the LGBTQ community. Mike Berman was among the most sophisticated political advisers in the history of this country. For the past three generations he has advised presidents, and an army of elected officials, strategists, and operatives. Mike was among a handful of straight people elected to the board of the Human Rights Campaign, the nation’s largest civil rights organization working to advance gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender equality. He was so trusted, he was then elected to co-chair the board of that institution.
Like so many, I feel so blessed and grateful to have had the benefit of Mike’s wisdom and insight throughout my tenure as president of the Human Rights Campaign. He went on to be a key adviser to each and every HRC leader and a true champion of equality.
He told us that to know us was to love us and how to slay political dragons in a new way. A life-long Democrat, his political acumen was brilliant and rooted in finding practical solutions across political lines. He understood back in 1995 (when my tenure began) that over time, most Americans would shed their bias and come to see LGBTQ Americans as worthy of dignity and equality.
In many ways, Mike was one of the key architects of how HRC was able to forge relationships and garner support from unlikely parts of the political spectrum. I learned so much from Michael about the way social change actually takes place. He more than anyone understood that progress cannot be made and this nation will not be healed unless both parties come together around shared values. In our time, that feels like an impossible formula. Yet the majority of this ruthlessly divided Congress voted to uphold marriage equality last year.
In addition to the LGBTQ community, Mike was a true believer in female leadership. He helped a legion of women rise to positions of power in Washington and beyond. He did so for the sheer joy of watching women rise in politics and as captains of industry. He grew up in an Orthodox Jewish family in Duluth, Minn. His father was Bob Dylan’s godfather. (You have to love a state that can produce Bob Dylan, Prince and, of course, Mike Berman!) He was also a beloved gentleman. There was nothing more special than a lunch and a rose at I Ricchi, one of his favorite D.C. restaurants.
Each year, Mike would host a special Valentine’s Lunch for a wide variety of women, all dear friends and colleagues. Even in the face of medical challenges, he soldiered on. The invitations to this year’s Valentine’s lunch went out last week.
I am a direct beneficiary of Mike’s love and counsel. The Human Rights Campaign family will forever cherish him. Our love and support goes out to Mike’s family, friends and his wonderful wife, Debbie Cowan.
Elizabeth Birch is former president of HRC.
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