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Out on the job
New Out & Equal CEO says LGBT parents face various workplace challenges
As a mom, Erin Uritus, the new, D.C.-based CEO of Out & Equal Workplace Advocates, knows first-hand how important it is for companies to support their queer parent employees in starting families and finding work-life balance.
Uritus comes to Out & Equal, the leading worldwide nonprofit dedicated to LGBT workplace equality, after senior positions at management consulting firm Booz Allen Hamilton and the education nonprofit International School Services. She also spent several years in the Middle East, where she supported a major government in restructuring and modernizing during the Arab Spring.
Uritus first became involved with Out & Equal as the leader of the LGBT employee resource group at Booz Allen, which sent her to the organization’s annual summit in 2002. She later joined the Out & Equal board, co-founded its chapter in Washington and co-chaired its summit here in 2007.
In the Middle East, however, Uritus, who identifies as bisexual, met and married her now ex-husband, and they had two girls. She and the girls moved back to D.C. just a few months before Donald Trump was elected president, a move that brought both concern and joy. As the mother of Arab-American children notes her biography at the Out & Equal site, she stood with them in front of a police barricade at Trump Tower to protest the president’s first attempted Muslim ban, but also found delight in bringing them to the D.C. Pride celebration.
Although she shares custody, her ex-husband is living and working overseas, “so for all intents and purposes I’m a single mom,” she said in a phone interview shortly after she started as CEO in January. She appreciates connecting with other parents.
Her vision for Out & Equal encompasses the idea of community. The organization’s focus, she says, “is all workplace issues and making sure that individuals in the community and our families are protected. Moving forward, we are really going to plug in to people’s stories and experiences.”
That includes the experiences of parents.
“More and more LGBTQ people are having families, and I think people don’t often understand what an impact that has, not in theory but on your everyday life,” she says.
Uritas has felt the everyday tension of work-family balance herself. In a previous job, she worked from a home office.
“I sometimes I felt I had to hide my identity about being a single mom. Depending on who I was talking to, I might not mention that, ‘Oh, I have to run out to pick the kids up from school.’”
It’s a “constant struggle,” she says, for both single and partnered parents. Alleviating that struggle, she says, gets back to the idea of telling our stories.
“If we find the courage to share our stories, we are going to connect with people who may look different or have different family situations, but where we can find commonality,” she says. This can lead to building community and sharing resources, which can provide not only emotional support, but also “tips and tricks” on managing specific challenges.
But Out & Equal’s work goes beyond networking and storytelling. Just as many corporations led the way in offering benefits to same-sex couples before marriage equality became law, Uritus feels that companies can pick up some of the slack as the current federal administration threatens LGBT progress.
“To leverage corporate ties and best practices and supporting companies to do the right thing, that’s really at the heart of what we do. I want change to be sustained over the long haul, so we want to work all the angles.”
Among other things, she hopes to showcase the corporate leaders who are helping LGBT parents to “be happy and fulfilled employees as well as parents.” She explained that doing so “incentivizes and recognizes” companies’ actions so that others can follow their example.”
And Out & Equal is addressing challenges right at the heart of the federal government as well. After the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services announced in January that it would be forming a new Conscience and Religious Freedom Division, widely seen as a pathway for LGBT discrimination, Uritus released an open letter to federal agency employees telling them, “We have your back. We understand the important role (employee resource group) leaders play in federal agencies. You are often the front-line force against efforts to erase our identities, marginalize our contributions and undermine our progress toward equality.”
Uritus invited them to take part in her “listening tour” of in-person and virtual meetings and an online survey, offering feedback on how Out & Equal can better assist them.
Other initiatives for the organization include expanding support for global diversity leaders, especially young ones, once again connecting people across communities.
“Certain political realities and cultural contexts are really different depending on the region and country,” she says, “but sometimes in managing change there are commonalities and best practices that you can draw upon that cross-cut any country.”
It’s a big agenda, but Uritus seems undaunted.
“I think parenthood and being a cocktail waitress in college is the best preparation for everything. I highly recommend it on both fronts.”
Dana Rudolph is the founder and publisher of Mombian, a GLAAD Media Award-winning blog and resource directory for LGBT parents.
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Rehoboth author’s new book tackles love, loss, and the allure of P-town
Will Freshwater’s series concludes with ‘The Dark Horse’
For those of us who have experienced the allure of Provincetown, there’s no mystery about why author Will Freshwater set his series of three books there.
It’s not just about the scenic, remote location, or the many fine restaurants and spirited bars and nightclubs and theme weekends. Not just the picturesque harbor and its famed magical light. It’s about a shared sense of community unique among LGBTQ destinations.
Freshwater, whose latest book “The Dark Horse” is out now, lives in Rehoboth Beach, Del., with his husband Stephen Cremen. And although Rehoboth became home after Freshwater retired from a career as a corporate attorney at Verizon in 2021, P-town always beckons. He first visited during the height of the AIDS crisis.
“I don’t think we’ll ever experience anything like that again,” he said. “The community welcomed anyone who showed up on the ferry looking for love and support; it was a transformative experience.”
Freshwater’s parents worried that he’d never find a “normal,” happy life as a gay man, but P-town put those fears to rest.
“I saw people who were plenty happy and living lives that were what they wanted to be,” he recalls. “I had never been able to hold my boyfriend’s hand and walk down the street; young people can’t conceptualize that. It felt like home for me … it felt welcoming, a warm place where I could be myself.”
So, naturally, the protagonist in his series of books, John Wells, travels to P-town from D.C. to find himself.
The first book in the Provincetown series, “Favorite Son,” is a familiar read to any gay man of a certain age who worked on the Hill in the 1990s — the sting of the closet, the need to be the best at work, and the chance meetings of romantic partners while riding the Metro. The story of John Wells, a senior Hill staffer, takes a turn after tragedy sends him reeling to P-town to heal.
The second book in the series, a prequel titled “The Dark Horse,” takes readers back in time when the main characters — all gay men — are in their 20s. Freshwater says it wasn’t a conscious decision to write a prequel, but that it evolved out of wanting to show younger readers what life was like for gays at that time.
“We did stupid stuff and made stupid mistakes and ran away,” he said. “As a reader I often want to know what made a character a certain way. I was aware of my audience and in my generation I had the older mentors that shared our history and they died; I wanted readers to see what it’s like for these characters to be in their 20s not just their 30s. I wanted to give that perspective to younger readers because I don’t know how they’re going to experience that if not through books.”
The new book, “The Dark Horse,” finds the characters Danny and Peter/John in domestic life in Boston where Danny runs the family business. Everyone is feeling restless and a bit miserable.
“It’s about what happens after the fairy tale,” Freshwater said.
The book also confronts the issue of unresolved feelings for past boyfriends, which takes the characters back to Provincetown. There’s a shocking plot twist at the end of the second book, an unexpected ending for the romance genre, that is resolved to satisfaction in the final book.
“You won’t know until the final four pages of the book how it resolves,” he notes.
This is the shortest book in the series and Freshwater says it took just 11 months to complete, compared to six years for the first book and eight years for the second book.
“There’s a great sense of closure and I can always visit these characters but I’m excited to move on and do new things.”
Indeed, Freshwater is working on several new projects, including a book set in Rehoboth that he’s co-writing with a friend, the gay romance author B.J. Irons. Freshwater is writing one character, a Rehoboth local who manages an inn on Baltimore Avenue and wants to “break out of his shell.” Irons is writing the other main character, a developer from Los Angeles who moves to Rehoboth to open a large resort across the street from the inn. The book explores their friendship and business rivalry.
Rehoboth became home for Freshwater and Cremen thanks largely to the pandemic.
“I’d been coming here since age 3 because it was the closest beach to Pittsburgh,” he said. “When I was in law school I got introduced to a guy who had a house on the beach between Rehoboth and Dewey so I used to come down a lot in the mid-1990s and became hooked.”
The couple bought a house in Rehoboth in 2018 and split their time between there and a home in New Jersey.
“When the pandemic started, we went to Rehoboth for two weeks thinking it would all blow over quickly and then never went back.”
The couple began questioning their stressful lifestyle of maintaining two homes and corporate jobs. So they sold the New Jersey house and moved full time to Rehoboth in 2021.
In addition to the new book, Freshwater is writing a children’s book using the classic “Velvet Rage” as inspiration. It features a puppy with a pink spot on his cheek while all the others in the litter have a black spot. The dog wears a mask to conceal his difference, but when it comes out everyone accepts him.
“It thematically speaks to not hiding who you are,” he said.
Freshwater offers sound advice to aspiring writers struggling to find their voice and overcome writer’s block.
“It always starts with an idea or character or theme and then you develop a broad outline and then work your butt off,” he said. “Decide when you’re going to write and make a commitment that you’re going to do it, like an athlete who commits to practice every day from 3:30-5:30. Don’t wait for inspiration, just commit to writing every day, and then edit, edit, edit until it feels like what’s inside your head.”
The new book is self published because Freshwater craved creative freedom.
“I’m not sure what traditional publishers have to offer anymore,” he said, “like YouTube for musicians, if you’ve got what you think is a high quality manuscript, put it out there and it will generate a following.”
Freshwater will read from “The Dark Horse” at an event on Saturday, March 23, 5-7 p.m. at Top of the Pines (56 Baltimore Ave., Rehoboth Beach). His books are available at Amazon and anywhere books are sold.
a&e features
‘Tiger’ burning bright: an interview with Mary Timony
Today’s female-driven music scene wouldn’t be the same without her
It’s hard to imagine what the current female-driven music scene would be like without Mary Timony. From Sleater-Kinney to Haim, from Angel Olsen to Mitski, the influence of Mary Timony is in every note being played, every word being sung. On her new solo album, “Untame The Tiger” (Merge), with its sly nod to Joni Mitchell, Timony has brought her many years of musical experience to the fore, resulting in what is easily her most accessible release. Beginning with the incredible six-plus minute opener “No Thirds” and continuing through the first single, “Dominoes,” and gorgeous numbers including “The Guest,” “The Dream,” and “Not The Only One,” Timony is assured to keep listeners purring along. Timony made time for an interview shortly before the album was released.
BLADE: Mary, I’d like to begin by talking to you about your musical lives in D.C. and Boston. I went to college in Boston in the early 1980s and was constantly amazed by the bands of the era such as Mission of Burma, Human Sexual Response, and ‘Til Tuesday. I moved to D.C. in the mid-1980s to go to grad school, and at the time, the music scene there was dominated by go-go music, and a smaller indie music featuring BETTY and the late Tommy Keene, among others. What do you remember about the music in D.C. as someone who grew up there?
MARY TIMONY: That’s interesting. We kind of did a switcheroo. I’m from D.C. and I moved to Boston. (In D.C.) I learned, as a teenager, about rock shows and rock music from being involved in the punk scene, the post-hardcore scene of kids here. Those are the shows I went to in high school. Basically, the Dischord (Records) bands and stuff. I saw every single Fugazi show from when they started in ’87. Before that, whatever was happening in 1985, hardcore shows by Swiz and Soulside and Kingface and I loved Ignition. Other than that, I would go see bluegrass out in Virginia and I loved go-go. I would go to see (go-go bands) Rare Essence and Trouble Funk. I was very into that stuff; that was really exciting. I think I liked go-go the most out of all of it, actually [laughs]. I would go to DC Space and 9:30 (Club), mostly for local (acts). I don’t think I ever saw BETTY, but I was a teenager then.
BLADE: Was the active music scene in Boston in the early 1990s part of the appeal for you when it came to relocating to Boston to attend Boston University?
TIMONY: The reason why I went there was because I wanted to go to a music program that was in a big university, in case I didn’t wanna study music the whole time, which is exactly what happened. I studied classical guitar for a year and then I didn’t really like the program much, so I transferred to study English. I found out about the (Boston) music scene from friends. We went to The Middle East (nightclub) and TT’s (T.T. The Bear’s nightclub). Then after college, I ended up living right down the street from The Middle East and I was there constantly.
BLADE: Good old Central Square! As a performer playing in bands including Autoclave, Helium, and Ex Hex, and as a solo artist with her own band, it’s not unreasonable to say that Mary, you are someone who plays well with others.
TIMONY: [Big laugh.]
BLADE: What makes you such a good team player?
TIMONY: I didn’t know I was [laughs]. I’ve gone back and forth between doing solo stuff and being in bands. Mostly, I’ve done projects where I’ve written a bunch of songs and I’m trying to…I haven’t done a ton of collaborative stuff really. Ex Hex was fun because it was more collaborative. Wild Flag, the same thing, totally 100% collaborative in every way. But Helium was really my thing, but I got some great people that totally influenced it. I’ve always been doing my own thing but tried to find really good people. Music really is about connection. It’s never as good if it’s only one person’s vision. Usually, if it’s good it’s good because of the connection between the musicians. Music is a social art form, I think.
BLADE: “Untame The Tiger” is the title of your new album. In 1999, Joni Mitchell titled her album “Taming The Tiger.” Are you, in any way, making a nod to Joni?
TIMONY: A little bit because I am a huge fan. I have been since I was 18. But, it sort of came to me because I have a song called that on the record and I’m sure that probably came from ripping off Joni Mitchell. Then I just thought that’s a cool name for a record. Then I thought, “Oh, shit!” [Laughs] It’s already been taken! Then I thought about it and then I forgot about it. Then I thought about it again and finally, I was like, “It’s OK. It’s a little bit different.” And I love her!
BLADE: I’m currently reading Ann Powers’ book “Traveling: On the Path of Joni Mitchell,” which comes out in June.
TIMONY: Oh, I’m definitely going to have to read.
BLADE: Yes, please add that to your reading list. “Untame The Tiger” is your first new solo studio album in 15 years. Are there things you write and sing about on your solo records that might be out of place on an album you would record with another one of your musical outfits?
TIMONY: Yes. That’s why this ended up being a solo record. I guess it was because of the tuning of my guitar. They were more or less finished songs. I wanted the songs to sound kind of acoustic. I also wanted to play with a bunch of musicians who I really love. All those things just made it seem like a solo record. If I’m writing for a band, like Ex Hex, which is basically the other band that I do right now, they’re not finished. I bring them in (to the band members) with that band in mind.
BLADE: I love the lush instrumental section on “Thirds” and the psychedelic sounds of “Looking For The Sun” and “The Guest.” Were there things you were listening to while writing the songs for “Untame The Tiger” that were inspiring to you?
TIMONY: I was listening to a lot of music, a ton of stuff. I don’t ever try to purposely emulate anything very often, but I can’t help it. I’d rather be influenced by stuff without really thinking about it too consciously. I always have loved listening to The Left Banke’s instrumentation and The Moody Blues’ string parts. Most of the string parts come from trying to emulate The Moody Blues [laughs] or The Left Banke. I’m obsessed with The Left Banke.
BLADE: “Walk Away Renée,” right?
TIMONY: Yes. This guy, Michael Brown, was such a genius. He wrote so much stuff as a teenager. His dad was a string arranger. Anyway, I love those string parts. I was listening to this prog-rock band The Strawbs and this early (Ronnie) Dio band Elf. (The Flying) Burrito Brothers and The Byrds, too. I love Fairport Convention and Steeleye Span. Richard Thompson and I was really obsessed with Gerry Rafferty’s early solo record called “Can I Have My Money Back?” I love that record. I was listening to it a ton when I was arranging the songs.
BLADE: Why was the song “Dominoes” selected as the first single from “Untame The Tiger?”
TIMONY: I don’t know. I let other people tell me [laughs]. I really hate sequencing records and I hate choosing singles. I’m just too close to it. I can’t tell what people are going to like or not. A lot of times, the ones that I like are not the ones that other people like. I asked (the people at) the label and they suggested that. I think it’s more poppy sounding. Dave Fridmann mixed that one and “Don’t Disappear” and he’s a genius mixer. and these mixers are always very pleasing and accessible sounding. I think that has something to do with it, too.
BLADE: Earlier, we talked about your long history of playing music with others, which reminded me of your guest spot singing “All Dressed Up In Dreams,” written by gay singer/songwriter Stephin Merritt for his band The 6ths’ “Wasps’ Nest” album.
TIMONY: He’s such a genius!
BLADE: How did that come about?
TIMONY: When I moved to Boston, for a year I lived with Claudia (Gonson of Merritt’s band The Magnetic Fields), who is his drummer. I lived in a group house in Cambridge. I was friends with Claudia, and Stephin lived a few blocks away. She told me he was making this record with guest singers they wanted to go over and sing on it. I went over there one day and he taught me the song and I sang on it. I think he’s one of the best songwriters of the last 50 years or whatever.
BLADE: I completely agree. As someone who has collaborated with Stephin, are you aware of an LGBTQ+ following for your own music?
TIMONY: I don’t know. I think maybe a little bit. I’d love that. I love everybody who can connect with it, because all I’m trying to do is connect with people.
a&e features
Sherry Vine is turning 60 — and she’s not quitting anytime soon
Legendary drag queen coming to D.C. for new show, ‘Smoke and Mirrors’
There are many things Sherry Vine is proud of. Throughout her 33-year-long career, the drag queen has accomplished so much — she’s released music, launched her own variety show and toured across the United States and Europe.
But what she loves the most about her career is making people laugh.
This calling to be a comedy queen started before her formal drag career. In high school, she remembers taking part in the musicals, and Vine would find joy in making people laugh by wittily changing song lyrics.
“Then it just evolved into doing that as the act,” Vine said in an interview with the Blade.
From the beginning of her career, she’s made singing live parodies a central part of her performance as a drag queen. And for her 60th birthday, she knew she wanted to put on an extravaganza.
Vine is coming to the Woolly Mammoth on March 9 while on tour for her new show “Smoke and Mirrors,” performed and written by her. It’ll include new parodies, from Bruce Springsteen to ABBA. The D.C.-based drag queen Tara Hoot will be a special guest at the show.
There’s a lot that led up to this milestone year for Vine. It all started with developing her character more than 30 years ago.
Developing Sherry Vine
Vine describes her persona as a down-on-her-luck showgirl from Las Vegas with a heart of gold.
She was always obsessed with stars like Joey Heatherton and Stella Stevens. Not to suggest those stars are down-on-their-luck showgirls, Vine said, but she wanted to evoke a sex kitten mentality. Her character eventually morphed into what it is today from these inspirations.
But at first, Vine said she thought she had to look funny to be funny.
“I didn’t care about the makeup. I didn’t wear big breasts. I just thought I had to look like a clown,” Vine said.
When she moved to New York City in 1992, she was surrounded by queens who balanced being funny and gorgeous simultaneously. That was eye-opening for her, she said.
Now, she relishes surprising people, she said. She’s been told she looks “too pretty” to be taken for a comedy queen, but that’s OK with her.
“I want to walk out on stage, and anyone who’s never seen me, maybe they’re like, ‘Oh, she looks good,’” Vine said. “And then I started singing about poop and penis and they’re like, ‘Oh my gosh, she’s so stupid.’”
When she was starting out as a drag queen, Vine reflected that she didn’t envision doing drag as a career. She remembers not wanting to commit to it. She wanted to be a movie star, she said.
“I kind of fought it. I loved it,” Vine said. “But I was like, I’m not doing this as a career.’”
But once she let go of fighting it, her career exploded. She got connected with RuPaul and was on two television specials in the 1990s. That support was crucial, Vine said, and helped her believe in herself more.
“I was like, ‘Oh, OK. If this person thinks that I have something, then maybe I do,’” Vine said.
Drag has changed — a lot
The drag scene has changed drastically. Vine credits a lot of this transformation to “RuPaul’s Drag Race.”
“When we started doing drag 30 years ago, no one in their right mind would have been like, ‘I’m going to do drag so I can make a lot of money and be famous,’” Vine said.
Before RuPaul’s iconic single “Supermodel (You Better Work),” one of the only examples of drag the average consumer saw was “Mrs. Doubtfire,” Vine said.
“You had to have a passion for it,” Vine said. “You had to have a calling.”
When Vine started, drag was a fringe art form that had an audience of mostly gay men.
Nowadays, it’s mainstream. Drag is enjoyed by a much wider audience, and is more of a way to become famous. When Vine was coming up in the industry, there were few ways to get on TV and in films as a drag queen, short of playing a character that was murdered on “Law & Order,” she said.
But even though drag has evolved and grown in popularity, Vine’s advice to drag queens has stayed the same over the years.
“Don’t try to do something because you think someone else is doing it successfully,” Vine said. “Find what you do, and then exploit and explore that.”
Looking back, looking ahead
Out of her multi-decade run as a drag queen, Vine said she’s most proud of the longevity of her career. There are a few people who have been in it as long as she has — Lady Bunny and Miss Coco Peru, for example. Few others have made it as long as Vine, she said.
She stresses that she can’t take credit for creating things, but she takes pride in being one of the first drag queens to go viral on YouTube in the 2000s. Her “Bad Romance” parody, released in 2009, racked up more than 6 million views over the years.
In the next few years, she’s looking into doing more television and film projects. Her latest show, “The Sherry Vine Variety Show,” just wrapped filming its third season. Creating this show is fulfilling a childhood dream of hers, she said. It’s an homage to “The Carol Burnett Show,” which Vine grew up watching.
Whether it’s performing on camera or onstage, Vine doesn’t see herself quitting anytime soon.
“I love performing and drag as much now as I did 33 years ago,” Vine said. “So I don’t see ever stopping.”
To get details on how to buy tickets to “Smoke and Mirrors,” visit woollymammoth.net/productions/sherry-vine.
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