Living
We’ll have a gay ‘ole time
LGBT-specific travel options abound throughout 2016


Winter Party Miami, in early March, promises endless gay parties in a balmy Florida setting. (Photo courtesy the event)
As winter starts packing on the snow, trade the shovel for skis at some of the best gay ski weeks.
Had enough of the powder? Then head to Louisiana for a gay Mardi Gras experience, try wine tasting in Napa or even a multi-island cruise for lesbians.
Pride comes early this year in Philly, and Miami’s Winter Party is a short flight away from the Washington area. Winter blues shouldn’t keep you in the house — get out and explore some of these upcoming LGBT-centric events.
Napa Valley, Calif.
What warms the body more than a little wine? The Napa Valley Wine Train hosts its inaugural Pride Ride on March 19. This LGBT event offers guests a chance to enjoy a special dinner featuring some of the Bay Area’s most prominent LGBT wine experts, each on hand to lend their expertise and assist guests in selecting wines to specially pair with their four-course gourmet meal created by Napa Valley Wine Train Executive Chef Kelly Macdonald.
Telluride, Colo.
Hit the powder at Telluride Gay Ski Week, in its first year as a locally produced event, taking place Feb. 20-27. This year presents an impressive list of special guests, including Olympian Gus Kenworthy, musician Shawn Colvin, comedian Sandra Bernhard and the infamous DJ Ruckus, among others. The week will be packed with events like a dance party at Gorrono Beach on the Telluride Ski Resort, opening cocktail party at Arroyo Gallery and wine bar/pop-up night club at La Marmotte, White Party and the Après Ski Pool Party at Madeline Sky Terrace, where DJ Soul Atomic will spin.
New Orleans
Famous for their huge Carnival celebrations, rowdy Bourbon Street crowds, and French, Spanish, and Native American influences, Mardi Gras is one of the most anticipated annual celebrations in America. The 67th annual Gay Mardi Gras kicks off on Saturday, Jan. 30th with the Krewe of Amon-Ra 51st annual Mardi Gras Ball. The celebrations continue on into early February with the Friday Night Before Mardi Gras Extravaganza XVII on Friday, Feb. 5. There are back-to-back masked balls on Saturday, Feb. 6 (8 p.m., Krewe of Armeinius Bal Masque XLVIII, Frederick J. Sigur Civic Center, Chalmette, La.) and on Sunday, Feb. 7th (8 p.m., Lords of Leather Bal Masque XXXIII, John A. Alario, Sr. Event Center, Westwego, La.). Everyone is welcome, gay and straight during the Mardi Gras (Fat Tuesday) event on Tuesday, Feb. 9.
Palm Springs, Calif.
For the fur-loving community, head to the desert for the International Bear Convergence Feb. 4-8 at the Hard Rock Hotel Palm Springs for the premier winter event for bears and admirers. This desert oasis opens its arms and welcomes you to the hip Hard Rock Hotel Palm Springs to thousands of frisky, furry bears, their friends and fans. The four-day event will come to life with DJs, live entertainment and thousands of bears from around the globe. The last two years were hugely successful and more of the same is expected in 2016.
Philadelphia
To get a head start on your yearly Pride rotations, head to Philly for the Philadelphia Black Gay Pride festvities. The spring event will take place April 28-May 1. The mission is to transform the living and social environments of LGBT people of color. Over five days, Philadelphia Black Gay Pride entertains and inspires with open-mic spoken word, awards, parties and much more happening at venues all over the city. More details to come.
Winter Party Miami
Surround yourself with miles of white sandy beaches, thousands of men in speedos and weekend fiestas at Winter Party in Miami March 2-7. The event starts with mega party Ignite, and on Friday, the Pulse party goes all night and all morning to finally end at 7 a.m. Saturday brings the Under One Sun pool party, followed by the Beach Party on Sunday. There will be a dance floor, pavilions, DJ booth, tents for relaxing, drinking and chatting sprawl along South Beach’s Lummus Park.
Caribbean Escape
Olivia’s Caribbean Escape Cruise starts this weekend and runs Jan. 30-Feb. 6. The cruise will give women the opportunity to join 1,900 lesbians on the Holland America’s MS Westerdam. The itinerary is jam packed with snorkeling, deep-sea fishing and kayaking excursions. Soak up the sunshine on four different islands, including Turks & Caicos, Puerto Rico, St. Thomas, and the Bahamas. From relaxing and lounging on beautiful Caribbean beaches, to a visit to a Bacardi Distillery, there is something for everyone. Olivia has several cruises planned throughout the year including Lisbon to Dublin (June 26-July 4), Dublin to Edinburgh (July 4-12), Tahiti (Aug. 20-27), Pacific Coast (Sept. 25-Oct. 2), Windward Islands (Dec. 2-9) and more into 2017.
Manchester, UK
Looking to travel to Europe this winter? Check out Manchester, UK, home to a thriving arts and culture scene and the renowned Manchester International Festival. During LGBT History Month in February, Manchester hosts the eighth annual Queer Contact Festival, an art “explosion” that runs from Feb. 4-14 and features a 10-day lineup of theater, music, dance, cabaret, comedy, spoken word and visual art performances. Expect international artists like Erasure’s Andy Bell, U.S. transgender performers and activists Kate Bornstein, Our Lady J, poet Jackie Kay and visual artists AL and AL.
Cuba welcomes gays despite embargo
By MICHAEL K. LAVERS
The restoration of diplomatic relations between the U.S. and Cuba has sparked renewed interest in LGBT travel to the Communist island.
Congress has yet to lift the embargo that prevents U.S. citizens for traveling to Cuba for tourism-specific activities. Yet there are several attractions in Havana for the LGBT traveler who may find themselves on the island.
Humboldt 52, a gay bar near the iconic Hotel Nacional, is popular with Cubans and foreigners alike. The nearby Cabaret Las Vegas features drag shows and other performances.
La Guarida, the restaurant in the 1993 film “Fresa y Chocolate” that features a student and a gay artist who is dissatisfied with then-Cuban President Fidel Castro’s government, is located near Havana’s Chinatown.
A portion of the Cuban capital’s oceanfront promenade near the Hotel Nacional is a popular late-night gathering place for LGBT Cubans. Mi Cayito is a gay beach located east of Havana capital.
Supporters of Mariela Castro, daughter of President Raúl Castro, who directs Cuba’s National Center for Sexual Education that is known by the Spanish acronym CENESEX, have credited her with advancing LGBT issues on the island.
A member of Cuban Parliament, she supports marriage rights for same-sex couples.
CENESEX each May organizes a series of events in Havana and across the country that commemorates the International Day Against Homophobia and Transphobia.
Transgender people have been able to obtain free sex-reassignment surgery under the island’s national health care system since 2008. Mariela Castro in 2013 voted against a proposal that banned anti-gay discrimination in the workplace because it did not include gender identity.
Fidel Castro told a Mexican newspaper in 2010 that sending gay men to work camps in the years after the Cuban Revolution was a “great injustice.” Independent LGBT rights advocates say they continue to face discrimination and harassment from the island’s government.
Real Estate
Impact of federal gov’t RIF on D.C.’s rental market
A seismic economic change for local property owners

In a move that could redefine the federal government workforce and reshape the economic fabric of Washington, D.C., President Donald Trump has announced his intentions to significantly reduce federal government spending as well as the number of people the federal government employs.
Calling the federal bureaucracy “bloated” and “out of control,” Trump has repeatedly expressed his desire to cut thousands of federal jobs. While these cuts align with his long-standing push to “drain the swamp,” they come with potential and real collateral damage, especially for landlords in the D.C. area who have relied on government employees as some of their most reliable and long-term tenants.
The potential reduction of thousands of jobs in a city built around government work is not just a political shift—it’s a seismic economic change for the city government as well as for local property owners who have invested in the predictability of a near-constant demand for workers in the federal government agencies, government contractors and the economic ecosystem they sustain.
For landlords, government workers have represented ideal tenants: strong income, long-term leases, and responsible rental histories. Now, that foundation is being shaken in a battle by the Administration against a workforce which is the backbone of the Washington area’s overall economy, and especially its rental market.
With uncertainty looming, landlords are left in a difficult position. If widespread layoffs come to fruition, rental vacancies could spike, rental prices would drop, and previously secure investment properties might become financial liabilities. The sudden shift forces landlords to consider their next moves: how to support tenants facing job losses, how to adapt to a changing market, and how to ensure their own financial stability amid the uncertainty.
For D.C. landlords, this isn’t just about policy shifts or budget cuts, it’s about economic livelihood. The challenge ahead isn’t about just reacting to change, but proactively preparing for it, ensuring they can weather the storm of political maneuvering.
Potential Consequences for D.C. Landlords
- 1. Increased Risk of Non-Payment of Rent
- Job losses may lead to late or missed rent payments
- As affected tenants struggle financially, they may ask to break their lease to live elsewhere or even move out of the region
- Eviction lawsuits may rise, leading to a long and expensive process for landlords, all while not being able to rent their property to paying tenants.
- 2. Higher Vacancy Rates
- If many government employees leave the D.C. region in search of work elsewhere, the rental demand could decline significantly
- Rental properties may sit empty longer, requiring landlords to lower rents to attract new tenants and creating even more financial loss
3. More Competition from Other Landlords
- As many more units are vacant on the market, all competing for the same pool of potential tenants, older and smaller rentals, and those located further out from the core of the city will all struggle to find quality renters.
- Landlords will need to offer other ways to attract and retain tenants, such as incentives, which could quickly overwhelm the finances of smaller landlords who cannot keep up.
Proactive Strategies for Landlords
To mitigate risks and ensure future rental success, landlords should consider these defensive measures:
1. Strengthen Tenant Relationships and Communication
- Encourage tenants to communicate if they anticipate financial hardship due to job loss.
- Work out temporary payment plans or partial payments to prevent full non-payment or eviction.
- Provide guidance on rental assistance programs available in D.C.
2. Offer Flexible Lease Terms
- Consider shorter-term leases than a full 12-month term to accommodate the needs of tenants who may be uncertain about their long-term employment status.
- Offer lease renewals at the same rent amount to keep stable tenants and avoid turnover
3. Diversify Tenant Base
- If a large portion of tenants are government workers, a landlord may want to market to a broader audience or professionals in private industries.
- Advertise on platforms that cater to diverse tenant pools, including students and international workers.
4. Adjust Screening Criteria Thoughtfully
- While it’s important to ensure financial stability, consider creditworthiness, assets, and rental history rather than just employment status.
- Consider alternative income sources, like family members assisting, part-time work or freelance gigs.
5. Protect Cash Flow with Rent Guarantee Options
- Explore rental insurance policies or rent guarantee services to cover losses in case of non-payment.
- Consider co-signers or guarantors on leases for new tenants in vulnerable industries, just in case.
6. Adjust Rental Pricing to Stay Competitive
- Monitor the D.C. rental market and adjust pricing accordingly to attract new tenants.
- Consider offering move-in incentives as a way to stand out. Be creative! Sometimes things you can offer are different and may catch someone’s eye
Long-Term Planning for Rental Success
- Build reserves to cover expenses during potential vacancies or rent shortfalls.
- Invest in property upgrades to make rentals more attractive to a broader audience, such as young professionals or remote workers.
- Consider diversifying property holdings to include areas that are less reliant on government employment.
By taking proactive steps, landlords can safeguard their investments while supporting tenants through economic uncertainty, ultimately leading to a more stable and resilient rental business.
Scott Bloom is owner and senior property manager at Columbia Property Management. For more information, visit ColumbiaPM.com.

As the spring market hits its stride, we are beginning to see more inventory and an increase in days on the market in parts of the DMV. This may result in professional home inspections becoming routine parts of contract offers again. A thorough home inspection can help catch safety issues early and is an opportunity to learn about the operation and maintenance of items in your home.
Pay attention to flickering lights, frequently tripped breakers, and discolored outlets—these are signs of potential electrical hazards. Outdated wiring, overloaded outlets, and faulty appliances can lead to electrical fires.
Structural issues are often overlooked until it’s too late. Crumbling foundations, weak or damaged stairs, loose railings, and uneven flooring can cause trips and falls. Water damage from leaks or flooding can weaken the integrity of floors and walls, creating a risk of collapse.
Toxic chemicals can pose serious threats to health and safety, often without obvious warning signs. Understanding and addressing these risks is crucial for maintaining a safe living environment for you and your loved ones.
Household products such as cleaners, pesticides, air fresheners, and even cosmetics can emit volatile organic compounds (VOCs). These compounds, when inhaled regularly, can cause a range of health issues including headaches, respiratory problems, hormonal disruptions, and in some cases, even cancer. To minimize these risks, homeowners should opt for low-VOC or VOC-free products, ventilate regularly, and consider investing in an air purifier.
Formaldehyde is another common toxin found in pressed wood products, insulation, and certain paints. Long-term exposure can lead to chronic respiratory problems and has been linked to cancer.
Radon gas, another possible carcinogen, is prevalent in the DMV. Your home inspector can do a radon test or there are DIY kits available at many hardware stores. If levels are above EPA standards, a professional remediation firm can install a system that extracts the radon and vents it safely outdoors.
Carbon monoxide (CO), a colorless, odorless gas, is produced by gas stoves, heaters, and fireplaces. Exposure can lead to headaches, dizziness, nausea, and even death. Install CO detectors near bedrooms and ensure that all fuel-burning appliances are properly maintained and ventilated.
Additionally, older homes may still contain asbestos in insulation, floor tiles, or roofing materials. If disturbed, asbestos fibers can become airborne and are highly dangerous when inhaled, leading to serious diseases such as mesothelioma, so when renovating an older home, it’s critical to have materials tested for asbestos before beginning work.
Mold and mildew thrive in damp, poorly ventilated areas such as bathrooms, basements, and around leaky pipes. While some molds are harmless, others can cause allergic reactions or respiratory problems and aggravate conditions such as asthma. Black mold (Stachybotrys chartarum) is notorious for producing mycotoxins that may lead to severe health issues.
Signs of mold include musty odors, visible growth on walls or ceilings, and excessive humidity. Preventing mold growth requires controlling moisture levels—using dehumidifiers and vapor barriers, fixing leaks promptly, and ensuring adequate ventilation. Professional mold remediation may be necessary for severe infestations.
Though banned in residential paints in 1978, lead-based paint still exists in millions of older homes. Lead exposure is especially dangerous for children, causing developmental delays, learning difficulties, and behavioral issues. Adults are not immune – lead can lead to high blood pressure, kidney damage, and reproductive problems.
Even dust from deteriorating lead-based paint can be hazardous. The EPA recommends professional lead testing for any home built before 1978, especially if renovations are planned. Certified abatement professionals can safely remove or encapsulate lead paint.
Improper use of heating equipment, fireplaces, unattended candles, and cooking accidents are common sources of home fires. Smoke alarms and fire extinguishers are essential for early detection and response. Test smoke detectors monthly and change batteries at least once a year.
Homes that are safe for adults may not be safe for children or pets. Small objects, unsecured cabinets, toxic plants, and open staircases can pose significant risks. Childproofing measures such as outlet covers, safety gates, and cabinet locks, along with safe storage of chemicals and medications, are essential precautions.
The good news is that many of these risks can be mitigated with awareness and action. Here are a few simple steps to enhance home safety:
• Conduct a thorough safety audit using checklists available online.
• Ensure proper ventilation to reduce indoor air pollutants.
• Regularly check for leaks and signs of water damage.
• Keep cleaning and chemical products out of reach of children.
• Educate all household members about emergency procedures, including fire escapes and first aid.
Our homes should protect us, not pose threats to our well-being. By identifying and addressing these toxic and unsafe issues, we can transform our living spaces into truly safe havens.
Valerie M. Blake is a licensed Associate Broker in D.C., Maryland, and Virginia with RLAH @properties. Call or text her at 202-246-8602, email her via DCHomeQuest.com, or follow her on Facebook at TheRealst8ofAffairs.
Advice
I make more money than my partner and getting resentful
She’s taking advantage of a joint credit card

Hi Michael,
I make a fair amount more money than my girlfriend does and I’m happy to contribute more to our life (we are both in our 20s and living together).
But Meg doesn’t seem to care how much money she spends and then asks me to front her when she’s running low. She seldom pays me back.
Last week she had a big night on the town with her best friend (formerly her girlfriend) for the friend’s 30th birthday. She hired a limo and spent a lot on drinks and dinner. She put the entire night on our joint card which we are only supposed to use for shared household expenses, because she had maxed out her own card. Of course I will wind up paying for it. (And I am slightly jealous. Why am I paying for her evening out with her former GF?)
I pay for all sorts of stuff all the time because her credit card gets too big for her budget.
And somehow I almost never end up getting her share of the rent, which is already prorated according to our incomes.
She always tells me she’ll pay me back but her tab pretty much just keeps getting bigger.
If I bring this up with her, she tells me I am cheap because I make a lot and we’re a couple; and if she made more, she’d have no problem sharing everything with me.
Am I just being ungenerous? I don’t know. Sometimes I think she’s an ingrate, but then I think if you’re in love, you shouldn’t be thinking of money, just taking care of the person you love.
Also, although I make more than she does, I’m by no means rich. I have my own student loans, and paying for the bulk of our lifestyle stretches me thin some months.
Michael replies:
For starters: Most couples must contend with some version of your struggle with Meg, because most couples have some income disparity.
Do you maintain a lifestyle that both of you can afford? That works for some relationships where the lower earner may not want to feel indebted to the partner who makes more. Other couples work out a system where they pay for expenses in proportion to their income. And in some instances, the higher earner may have a “what’s mine is yours” philosophy and the lower earner is OK with that.
What matters is that both partners come to a mutual agreement and are comfortable with the arrangement. In other words, they collaborate.
That’s not the case with you and Meg. You sound resentful, angry, and feeling like Meg is taking advantage of you.
It’s great to be generous in your relationship, but it’s also important to have a boundary when you think it’s important to have a boundary. Yet you’re continuing to subsidize Meg even when you have trouble making your own ends meet.
Important question: Have you told Meg that you’re stretched thin some months? If not, I’d be curious as to how you’ve made that decision. If so, I’d be curious as to Meg’s response.
If you don’t want to keep serving as Meg’s piggy bank, what is stopping you?
There’s a great saying in psychotherapy: If it’s hysterical, it’s historical. Meaning, our “big” actions and reactions have their roots in our history.
Think about your life history: How does it make sense that you are acting like a powerless victim?
Is not having a boundary an old and familiar dynamic for you? Were there important players in your life—for example, your parents—who insisted it was their way or the highway? Or perhaps you learned as a kid that if you ever said “no” to your friends, there’d be negative consequences?
Now ask yourself what might be keeping you stuck in a relationship of resentment. Are you re-creating an old and familiar dynamic? Sometimes we keep putting ourselves in the same miserable situation, over and over again. What’s familiar can be comfortable, even if it’s miserable; and we may be trying to get some understanding of the dynamic and some power over it, to finally get it right.
I’m just speculating here, to encourage you to think for yourself why you are staying in the dynamic you describe. You haven’t mentioned anything positive about your relationship, or about Meg.
Another possibility: I wonder if you might be so fearful of being alone that you’re willing to tolerate all sorts of treatment in order to stay in your relationship. Or perhaps you don’t think you deserve to be treated any better than this.
Again, if this is the case, where might this belief be coming from? Understanding why we are stuck in behaviors that keep us miserable can help us to get unstuck.
You have an opportunity to do something different here: Set a boundary and take power over your life. Perhaps if you did so, Meg would surprise you by shifting her stance, which would be good news if you have some good reasons to stay. Or perhaps she would not. Your challenge now is to get some sense of what’s holding you back, if you want something different for yourself. And unless you act on your own behalf, you will stay in this position.
One more point to consider, regarding Meg’s dinner date with her ex: Whether or not anything is going on, I take your jealousy as a sign that you don’t trust Meg. And without trust, you can’t have a decent relationship.
Michael Radkowsky, Psy.D. is a licensed psychologist who works with couples and individuals in D.C. He can be found online at michaelradkowsky.com. All identifying information has been changed for reasons of confidentiality. Have a question? Send it to [email protected].