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We’ll have a gay ‘ole time

LGBT-specific travel options abound throughout 2016

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gay travel, gay news, Washington Blade
gay travel, gay news, Washington Blade

Winter Party Miami, in early March, promises endless gay parties in a balmy Florida setting. (Photo courtesy the event)

As winter starts packing on the snow, trade the shovel for skis at some of the best gay ski weeks.

Had enough of the powder? Then head to Louisiana for a gay Mardi Gras experience, try wine tasting in Napa or even a multi-island cruise for lesbians.

Pride comes early this year in Philly, and Miami’s Winter Party is a short flight away from the Washington area. Winter blues shouldn’t keep you in the house — get out and explore some of these upcoming LGBT-centric events.

Napa Valley, Calif. 

What warms the body more than a little wine? The Napa Valley Wine Train hosts its inaugural Pride Ride on March 19. This LGBT event offers guests a chance to enjoy a special dinner featuring some of the Bay Area’s most prominent LGBT wine experts, each on hand to lend their expertise and assist guests in selecting wines to specially pair with their four-course gourmet meal created by Napa Valley Wine Train Executive Chef Kelly Macdonald.

Telluride, Colo.

Hit the powder at Telluride Gay Ski Week, in its first year as a locally produced event, taking place Feb. 20-27. This year presents an impressive list of special guests, including Olympian Gus Kenworthy, musician Shawn Colvin, comedian Sandra Bernhard and the infamous DJ Ruckus, among others. The week will be packed with events like a dance party at Gorrono Beach on the Telluride Ski Resort, opening cocktail party at Arroyo Gallery and wine bar/pop-up night club at La Marmotte, White Party and the Après Ski Pool Party at Madeline Sky Terrace, where DJ Soul Atomic will spin.

New Orleans

Famous for their huge Carnival celebrations, rowdy Bourbon Street crowds, and French, Spanish, and Native American influences, Mardi Gras is one of the most anticipated annual celebrations in America. The 67th annual Gay Mardi Gras kicks off on Saturday, Jan. 30th with the Krewe of Amon-Ra 51st annual Mardi Gras Ball. The celebrations continue on into early February with the Friday Night Before Mardi Gras Extravaganza XVII on Friday, Feb. 5. There are back-to-back masked balls on Saturday, Feb. 6 (8 p.m., Krewe of Armeinius Bal Masque XLVIII, Frederick J. Sigur Civic Center, Chalmette, La.) and on Sunday, Feb. 7th (8 p.m., Lords of Leather Bal Masque XXXIII, John A. Alario, Sr. Event Center, Westwego, La.). Everyone is welcome, gay and straight during the Mardi Gras (Fat Tuesday) event on Tuesday, Feb. 9.

Palm Springs, Calif. 

For the fur-loving community, head to the desert for the International Bear Convergence Feb. 4-8 at the Hard Rock Hotel Palm Springs for the premier winter event for bears and admirers. This desert oasis opens its arms and welcomes you to the hip Hard Rock Hotel Palm Springs to thousands of frisky, furry bears, their friends and fans. The four-day event will come to life with DJs, live entertainment and thousands of bears from around the globe. The last two years were hugely successful and more of the same is expected in 2016.

Philadelphia

To get a head start on your yearly Pride rotations, head to Philly for the Philadelphia Black Gay Pride festvities. The spring event will take place April 28-May 1. The mission is to transform the living and social environments of LGBT people of color. Over five days, Philadelphia Black Gay Pride entertains and inspires with open-mic spoken word, awards, parties and much more happening at venues all over the city. More details to come.

Winter Party Miami

Surround yourself with miles of white sandy beaches, thousands of men in speedos and weekend fiestas at Winter Party in Miami March 2-7. The event starts with mega party Ignite, and on Friday, the Pulse party goes all night and all morning to finally end at 7 a.m. Saturday brings the Under One Sun pool party, followed by the Beach Party on Sunday. There will be a dance floor, pavilions, DJ booth, tents for relaxing, drinking and chatting sprawl along South Beach’s Lummus Park.

Caribbean Escape

Olivia’s Caribbean Escape Cruise starts this weekend and runs Jan. 30-Feb. 6. The cruise will give women the opportunity to join 1,900 lesbians on the Holland America’s MS Westerdam. The itinerary is jam packed with snorkeling, deep-sea fishing and kayaking excursions. Soak up the sunshine on four different islands, including Turks & Caicos, Puerto Rico, St. Thomas, and the Bahamas. From relaxing and lounging on beautiful Caribbean beaches, to a visit to a Bacardi Distillery, there is something for everyone. Olivia has several cruises planned throughout the year including Lisbon to Dublin (June 26-July 4), Dublin to Edinburgh (July 4-12), Tahiti (Aug. 20-27), Pacific Coast (Sept. 25-Oct. 2), Windward Islands (Dec. 2-9) and more into 2017.

Manchester, UK

Looking to travel to Europe this winter? Check out Manchester, UK, home to a thriving arts and culture scene and the renowned Manchester International Festival. During LGBT History Month in February, Manchester hosts the eighth annual Queer Contact Festival, an art “explosion” that runs from Feb. 4-14 and features a 10-day lineup of theater, music, dance, cabaret, comedy, spoken word and visual art performances. Expect international artists like Erasure’s Andy Bell, U.S. transgender performers and activists Kate Bornstein, Our Lady J, poet Jackie Kay and visual artists AL and AL.

Cuba welcomes gays despite embargo

By MICHAEL K. LAVERS

The restoration of diplomatic relations between the U.S. and Cuba has sparked renewed interest in LGBT travel to the Communist island.

Congress has yet to lift the embargo that prevents U.S. citizens for traveling to Cuba for tourism-specific activities. Yet there are several attractions in Havana for the LGBT traveler who may find themselves on the island.

Humboldt 52, a gay bar near the iconic Hotel Nacional, is popular with Cubans and foreigners alike. The nearby Cabaret Las Vegas features drag shows and other performances.

La Guarida, the restaurant in the 1993 film “Fresa y Chocolate” that features a student and a gay artist who is dissatisfied with then-Cuban President Fidel Castro’s government, is located near Havana’s Chinatown.

A portion of the Cuban capital’s oceanfront promenade near the Hotel Nacional is a popular late-night gathering place for LGBT Cubans. Mi Cayito is a gay beach located east of Havana capital.

Supporters of Mariela Castro, daughter of President Raúl Castro, who directs Cuba’s National Center for Sexual Education that is known by the Spanish acronym CENESEX, have credited her with advancing LGBT issues on the island.

A member of Cuban Parliament, she supports marriage rights for same-sex couples.

CENESEX each May organizes a series of events in Havana and across the country that commemorates the International Day Against Homophobia and Transphobia.

Transgender people have been able to obtain free sex-reassignment surgery under the island’s national health care system since 2008. Mariela Castro in 2013 voted against a proposal that banned anti-gay discrimination in the workplace because it did not include gender identity.

Fidel Castro told a Mexican newspaper in 2010 that sending gay men to work camps in the years after the Cuban Revolution was a “great injustice.” Independent LGBT rights advocates say they continue to face discrimination and harassment from the island’s government.

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Real Estate

The rise of virtual home tours

Adapting to changing consumer preferences in spring real estate

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Looking for a home? Virtual tours hold special benefits for queer buyers.

In today’s dynamic real estate market, the spring season brings not only blooming flowers but also a surge of activity as buyers and sellers alike prepare to make their moves. However, in recent years, there’s been a notable shift in how consumers prefer to explore potential homes: the rise of virtual tours. 

For the LGBTQ community, these virtual experiences offer more than just convenience; they provide accessibility, safety, and inclusivity in the home buying process. 

Gone are the days of spending weekends driving from one open house to another – unless that’s your thing of course, only to find that the property doesn’t quite match expectations. With virtual tours, you can explore every corner of a home from the comfort of your own space – find something interesting? Schedule a showing with any LGBTQ Realtor at GayRealEstate.com.

This is particularly significant for LGBTQ individuals, who may face unique challenges or concerns when attending in-person showings. Whether it’s the ability to discreetly view properties without fear of discrimination or the convenience of touring homes located in LGBTQ-friendly neighborhoods across the country, virtual tours offer a sense of empowerment and control in the home buying process.

Moreover, virtual tours cater to the diverse needs of the LGBTQ community. For couples or families with busy schedules or those living in different cities or states, these digital walkthroughs provide a convenient way to view properties together without the need for extensive travel. Additionally, for individuals who may be exploring their gender identity or transitioning, virtual tours offer a low-pressure environment to explore potential living spaces without the added stress of in-person interactions.

At GayRealEstate.com, we understand the importance of adapting to changing consumer preferences and leveraging technology to better serve our community. That’s why our agents offer an extensive selection of virtual tours for LGBTQ individuals and allies alike – visit our website, choose an agent and within minutes you’ll have access to the Multiple Listing Service (MLS) via their website.

From cozy condominiums in bustling urban centers to sprawling estates in picturesque suburbs, virtual tours showcase a wide range of properties tailored to diverse tastes and lifestyles.

In addition to virtual tours, GayRealEstate.com provides comprehensive resources and support to guide LGBTQ buyers and sellers through every step of the real estate journey. Our network of LGBTQ-friendly agents is committed to providing personalized service, advocacy, and representation to ensure that all individuals feel respected, valued, and empowered throughout the process. Plus, we are happy to provide a free relocation kit to any city in the USA or Canada if you are a home buyer.

As we embrace the spring season and all the opportunities it brings in the real estate market, let’s also celebrate the power of virtual tours to revolutionize the way we find and experience our future homes. Whether you’re searching for your first apartment, forever home, or investment property, GayRealEstate.com is here to help you navigate the exciting world of real estate with confidence, pride, and inclusivity.

Jeff Hammerberg is founding CEO of Hammerberg & Associates, Inc. Reach him at [email protected].

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Advice

Should I divorce my husband for the hot new guy in our building?

Debating whether to leave or stay after the sex goes cold

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Dear Michael,

I’ve been with my husband for 10 years and the sex is pretty much gone. It stopped being exciting a long time ago and pretty much the only time we ever do it is with the occasional third.

A really hot guy moved into our building about a year ago. We would see each other sometimes in the elevator or at our building’s gym and we started talking and really hit it off. Mark is 15 years younger than I but we seem to have a lot in common. We started hooking up and the sex is amazing.

I haven’t told my husband because it’s breaking our rule about no repeats. I have to say that the secrecy is hot. It’s kind of a thrill to take the elevator upstairs when I say I’m going on an errand. But it’s more than that. I have a connection with Mark that is far more amazing than what I have ever felt with my husband. Not just the sex. We just enjoy being together, talking about anything and everything.

My husband went to visit his family last weekend and I spent the whole time with Mark. Since then I can’t stop thinking that I want to leave my husband and be with Mark.

Part of me thinks this is a crazy mid-life crisis. I mean, this kid’s in a totally different place in life. But we have mind-blowing sex and a fantastic connection. I’d like your thoughts on how to proceed.

Michael replies: 

You’ve got a lot to consider.

First: Sex with a long-term partner changes over time. It tends to be less about erotic heat and more about the connection with a person whom you love. In other words, it’s being with the person you’re with that makes the sex meaningful and even great. Having a good sexual relationship with a long-term partner comes far more from a heart connection than from a crotch attachment.  

Second: You seem ready to throw your relationship under the bus pretty quickly, without addressing other problems in the relationship besides sex. When you are sneaking around, lying, and rule-breaking , I don’t see how you can look your husband in the eye; and if you can’t look him in the eye, you certainly can’t have even a half-way decent relationship.

Yet another point to consider: Affairs pretty much always seem more exciting than marriage. The partner is new, which almost automatically makes the sex hotter; the secrecy is a thrill; and you don’t have to deal with paying the rent, house chores, and all the petty annoyances of living up-close with someone day-in, day-out.  

You are bringing lots of energy to your affair, and everything about it is exciting. You are bringing no energy — at least no positive energy — to your marriage. You get what you put into a relationship.

Divorce is not something that should be entered into lightly. Be aware that if you leave your husband for Mark, you will no doubt find over time that the sex becomes less exciting and that the connection is not always fantastic. No surprise, 75 percent of marriages that begin with affair partners end in divorce. While I don’t think statistics predict what will happen to any particular couple, believing that you will have a significantly better relationship with your affair partner than you did with your husband sets you up for likely disappointment.

Many gay men focus on “hot sex” as the big draw, pursuing a lot of sex with a lot of men, and/or pursuing an ongoing series of relationships that last until the sex cools. If that’s what you want, that’s fine. But it’s a different path from pursuing a close and loving long-term relationship, which involves knowing someone well and having him know you well; collaborating on getting through the hard stuff life throws at us; finding ways to make peace with disappointment; and consistently striving to be someone worth being married to. 

How to proceed? While you are the only person who should make that decision, I would suggest that whatever your choice, keep in mind that marriage can be more than what you’ve made of it, so far.

Michael Radkowsky, Psy.D. is a licensed psychologist who works with couples and individuals in D.C. He can be found online at michaelradkowsky.com. All identifying information has been changed for reasons of confidentiality. Have a question? Send it to [email protected].

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Autos

Sport haulers: Jeep Grand Cherokee, Mercedes GLE-Class

Updated cabins, adept handling, and more

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Jeep Grand Cherokee

Now that March Madness and the Masters are over, it’s time for, well, everything else. For my husband and me, this means water sports, as in kayaks and rowing sculls, which is why we trekked to the Potomac for the George Washington Invitational regatta last weekend. 

Alas, high winds splashed cold water on the event, canceling much of it. But there was still plenty of spirited camaraderie to rival “The Boys in the Boat.” 

And I was reminded of my time years ago as a rower with D.C. Strokes, ferrying teammates to races up and down the East Coast. Back then my ride was a dated, rather cramped four-door sedan. 

If only we could have paddled around in a sporty SUV like the two reviewed here. Now that would have been some smooth sailing (wink-wink). 

JEEP GRAND CHEROKEE 

$40,000

MPG: 19 city/26 highway

0 to 60 mph: 7.5 seconds

Maximum cargo room: 37.7 cu. ft. 

PROS: Updated cabin, adept handling, strong towing 

CONS: So-so gas mileage, no third row, pricey trim levels

IN A NUTSHELL: Rough, tough and buff. It’s doesn’t get much more butch than a Jeep. This year’s Grand Cherokee is no exception, with rugged looks, expert off-road capability and better-than-average towing capacity of 6,200 pounds. 

There are a dizzying number of trim levels—more than a dozen—starting with the barebones base-model Laredo at an affordable $40,000. The lineup tops out with the Summit Reserve 4xe PHEV, which is almost twice the price at $76,000 and one of various plug-in hybrid versions available. Those plug-in hybrids can drive up to 25 miles on all-electric power before the four-cylinder gas engine kicks in. Otherwise, you can choose from a standard V6 or V8. Gas mileage on all trim levels is basically the same as the competition. 

Where the Grand Cherokee really shines is in the handling. More refined than a Wrangler but less lavish than a Land Rover, this Jeep maneuvers just as well on city streets and highways as it does on bumpier terrain.    

I tested the mid-range and mid-priced Overland, which comes standard with four-wheel drive and large 20-inch wheels. It also boasts a slew of niceties, such as quilted upholstery, panoramic sunroof and high-tech digital displays. These include a 10.25-inch infotainment touchscreen and rear-seat entertainment system. 

The nine-speaker Alpine stereo, designed specifically for the Grand Cherokee, is pleasing. But I really wanted to hear the boffo 19-speaker McIntosh surround-sound system that Jeep also offers. Sigh, it’s only available on the premium Summit trim level. 

MERCEDES GLE-CLASS

$64,000 

MPG: 20 city/25 highway

0 to 60 mph: 6.6 seconds

Maximum cargo room: 33.3 cu. ft. 

PROS: Lush interior, silky-smooth suspension, speedy 

CONS: Some confusing electronics, tight third row, many competitors

IN A NUTSHELL: For a more high-class hauler, there’s the Mercedes GLE-Class. This midsize SUV is similar in size to the Jeep Grand Cherokee. But instead of seating five passengers, the GLE can carry up to seven. Sure, legroom in the optional third row may be tight for taller travelers, but it’s perfect for a cocky cockswain or two. 

Six trim levels, ranging from the base-model GLE 350 to two high-performance AMG models. For eco-conscious buyers, the GLE 450e plug-in hybrid arrived earlier this year and can run on battery power alone for almost 60 miles. 

My test car was the top-of-the-line AMG 63 S 4Matic, a head-turner in every way. Priced at a whopping $127,000, this GLE looks best in glossy black with the Night Package, which includes tasteful jet-black exterior accents and matte-black wheels. To complete the Darth Vader effect, there’s a deep, menacing exhaust rumble that’s downright threatening.

You expect such a ride to be wicked fast, and it is: 0 to 60 mph in a blistering 3.7 seconds. Yet the carbon ceramic brakes with their devil-red calipers are equally impressive in slowing things down quickly. 

Inside, each GLE comes with two large digital displays on the elegantly sculpted dashboard. My favorite feature is the “Hey Mercedes” digital assistant, which responds to voice commands such as opening or closing the sunroof, operating the infotainment system or activating the climate controls. 

It’s hard to find sport seats that are more comfortable, especially with the heavenly massage function (though those massage controls could be a bit more user-friendly.) For AMG models, the seats come with red-contrasting stitching and red seatbelts—a nod to the devilish demeanor under the hood.

Considering all the SUVs available in showrooms, few make quite the splash of a GLE.

Mercedes GLE-Class
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