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Queery: Don Michael Mendoza

The visionary behind a new Black Fox Lounge cabaret night answers 20 gay questions

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Don Michael Mendoza (Blade photo by Michael Key)

Spoken word performance and musical theater may seem like distant cousins at best to some, but not to Don Michael Mendoza. Sensing a gulf between the two performance worlds, he and friend Regie Cabico created a space for the two worlds to come together.

They co-host La-To-Do, a cabaret series that runs every Monday night at Black Fox Lounge from 8:30 to 10 p.m. It launched in January and, according to Mendoza, has been a hit.

“We’d done a show together last summer at the Fringe Festival and just started a conversation about how there’s really no cabaret culture in D.C.,” Mendoza says. “We wanted something more than just an open mic, where anyone can just go up there and it’s not always the best quality. We just found there is a lot of misunderstanding between the two worlds. Musical theater types think the spoken word people are just strange people who studied English and sit at home all day like Sylvia Plath and the spoken word people think the theater folks are just doing mass-produced stuff like ‘Wicked.’ We’ve found there’s a lot more to both worlds.”

Mendoza and Cabico, both gay, co-host the series and take turns performing. The show spotlights two guest entertainers each week as well, mostly volunteers whom the two co-hosts have vetted. They’re also hoping to make the event a hot networking spot for local artistic types.

“We’re still kind of figuring it out,” Mendoza says. “We’re not trying to change the world or anything. Just trying to provide some fun and entertainment on a Monday night where people can go there, be themselves, see good art and also perform.”

There’s a $10 cover to attend, which includes a drink. Visit the group on Facebook for more information.

Mendoza, a 23-year-old Pittsburgh native, came to Washington in 2006 to study at American University. He graduated with double majors — broadcast journalism and musical theater. He worked for the college in media relations after graduating but went to Vida Metropole on 15th and P about six weeks ago for a change of pace. He’d eventually like to do something full time in performance but is still figuring that out.

Mendoza is single and lives in Logan Circle. He enjoys working out, travel and theater in his free time. (Blade photos by Michael Key)

How long have you been out and who was the hardest person to tell?

I’ve been out since I was 20, so three years, and the hardest person to tell was my mother. Even though she always told me it would be OK if I ever were, I knew that it would still flip her world and image of me upside down.

Who’s your LGBT hero?

MSNBC’s Thomas Roberts because he’s the first news anchor to publicly come out in a world that usually masks LGBT people behind a straight news persona. His coming out was due to a tragic personal event, but he didn’t let it ruin his determination. He was not afraid to be who he is and strive for journalistic excellence at the same time, which got him to where he is today, and I hope to follow the same ethical and moral path in what I do.

What’s Washington’s best nightspot, past or present? 

Not to be biased, but I really love Black Fox Lounge because of the calm, jazzy atmosphere, good food and drinks and the friendly owners and staff.

Describe your dream wedding.

It will be a big wedding. I want my partner and I to be surrounded by everyone who matters most in our lives. I want it to be at a location in the countryside and it will be the definition of class. Everything would be tasteful and well thought out.

What non-LGBT issue are you most passionate about?

Representation for D.C. residents in Congress. I maintain my Pennsylvania license because I like voting in a state where my voice matters and until D.C. residents have full voting rights, I refuse to become a full resident of the District.

What historical outcome would you change?

The results of the 2000 presidential election.

What’s been the most memorable pop culture moment of your lifetime?

The tragedy of  9-11 because, like the JFK assassination was for my parents, I will always remember exactly where I was and what I was doing the moment I heard the news.

On what do you insist?

That the dishes are washed and the apartment is clean for the many friends I always have over for dinner parties.

What was your last Facebook post or Tweet?

“Smiling is an understatement for me these days. Ah, me. :)”

If your life were a book, what would the title be?

“I’ll be your fortune, cookie!”

If science discovered a way to change sexual orientation, what would you do?

I wouldn’t do it. It took me 20 years to figure it out what makes me happy! Why would I ever want to change it?

What do you believe in beyond the physical world? 

I believe that there is a God, but that all the religious tension and conflict stem out of people’s imposed beliefs on something that none of us really understand.

What’s your advice for LGBT movement leaders?

Keep on doing what you’re doing. Any and all progress is good.

What would you walk across hot coals for?

I like the soles of my feet, so I don’t think I would do it for anything.

What LGBT stereotype annoys you most?

That if you’re lesbian you have to be butch and if you’re a gay man you have to be feminine. Your sexual preference has nothing to do with the way you carry yourself.

What’s your favorite LGBT movie?

“The Weekend” because I think all gay men, single or in a relationship, need to watch it for the lessons it has to offer, especially in a city where finding a stable relationship is difficult to pursue.

What’s the most overrated social custom?

Playing hard to get when you start seeing someone. Just be honest about what you’re doing. It makes everything less complicated.

What trophy or prize do you most covet?

It’s not really a trophy or a prize, but I would like to be on the cover of GQ one day. I’ve enjoyed the magazine since I knew how to dress well, and to be featured in a fashion spread in that publication would be amazing!

What do you wish you’d known at 18?

That life after college brings so much unexpected crap and that nothing can ever prepare you for the joys and pains of adulthood no matter how much advice you receive ahead of time.

Why Washington?

It was always a second home to me since we moved to Pittsburgh when I was a toddler because we visited so often. I chose to come to college here and when it came to deciding on where to start my adult life, I couldn’t see any other option.

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Out & About

Gala Hispanic Theatre’s Flamenco Festival returns

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Rafael Ramírez (Photo by Juan Carlos Toledo)

Gala Hispanic Theater will host the 21st Annual “Fuego Flamenco Festival” from Thursday, Nov. 6 to Saturday, Nov. 22. 

The festival will feature American and international artists who will gather in the nation’s capital to celebrate the art of Flamenco. Guests can save 20% on tickets with a festival pass. 

The festival kicks off now through Nov. 10 with the D.C. premiere of Crónica de un suceso, created, choreographed and performed by Rafael Ramírez from Spain, accompanied by renowned flamenco singers and musicians. In this new show, Ramírez pays homage to the iconic Spanish Flamenco artist Antonio Gades who paved the way for what Flamenco is today. GALA’s engagement is part of an eight-city tour of the U.S. by Ramírez and company.

The magic continues Nov. 14-16 with the re-staging of the masterpiece Enredo by Flamenco Aparicio Dance Company, a reflection of the dual nature of the human experience, individual and social, which premiered at GALA in 2023.

For more information, visit the theatre’s website

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Calendar

Calendar: November 7-13

LGBTQ events in the days to come

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Friday, November 7

“Center Aging Friday Tea Time” will be at 12 p.m. in person at the DC Center for the LGBT Community’s new location at 1827 Wiltberger St., N.W. To RSVP, visit the DC Center’s website or email [email protected]

Go Gay DC will host “LGBTQ+ Community Social” at 7 p.m. at Silver Diner Ballston. This event is ideal for making new friends, professional networking, idea-sharing, and community building. This event is free and more details are available on Eventbrite

Saturday, November 8

Go Gay DC will host “LGBTQ+ Community Brunch” at 12 p.m. at Freddie’s Beach Bar & Restaurant. This fun weekly event brings the DMV area LGBTQ+ community, including allies, together for delicious food and conversation.  Attendance is free and more details are available on Eventbrite.

Sunday Supper on Saturday will be at 2 p.m. at the DC Center for the LGBT Community. This event will be full of food, laughter and community. For more information, email [email protected]

Monday, November 10 

“Center Aging: Monday Coffee Klatch” will be at 10 a.m. on Zoom. This is a social hour for older LGBTQ adults. Guests are encouraged to bring a beverage of choice. For more information, contact Adam ([email protected]).

“Soulfully Queer: LGBTQ+ Emotional Health and Spirituality Drop-In” will be at 3 p.m. at the DC Center for the LGBT Community. This group will meet weekly for eight weeks, providing a series of drop-in sessions designed to offer a safe, welcoming space for open and respectful conversation. Each session invites participants to explore themes of spirituality, identity, and belonging at their own pace, whether they attend regularly or drop in occasionally. For more details visit the DC Center’s website.

Genderqueer DC will be at 7 p.m. on Zoom. This is a support group for people who identify outside of the gender binary, whether you’re bigender, agender, genderfluid, or just know that you’re not 100% cis. For more details, visit genderqueerdc.org or Facebook.

Wednesday, November 12 

Job Club will be at 6 p.m. on Zoom. This is a weekly job support program to help job entrants and seekers, including the long-term unemployed, improve self-confidence, motivation, resilience and productivity for effective job searches and networking — allowing participants to move away from being merely “applicants” toward being “candidates.” For more information, email [email protected] or visit thedccenter.org/careers.

“Gay Men Speed Dating” will be at 7 p.m. at Public Bar Live. This is a fresh alternative to speed dating and matchmaking in a relaxed environment. Tickets start at $37 and are available on Eventbrite

Thursday, November 13 

The DC Center’s Fresh Produce Program will be held all day at the DC Center for the LGBT Community. People will be informed on Wednesday at 5 p.m. if they are picked to receive a produce box. No proof of residency or income is required. For more information, email [email protected] or call 202-682-2245. 

Virtual Yoga Class will be at 7 p.m. on Zoom. This is a free weekly class focusing on yoga, breathwork, and meditation. For more details, visit the DC Center for the LGBT Community’s website.

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Sports

Gay speedskater racing toward a more inclusive future in sports

Conor McDermott-Mostowy says anti-DEI push is driving away corporate sponsors

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Conor McDermott-Mostowy

LOS ANGELES — As the countdown begins to the February Winter Olympic Games in Milan, Pride House LA is shining a spotlight on queer athletes who are breaking boundaries both on and off the field. Among them is Team USA speedskater Conor McDermott-Mostowy – a fierce competitor and proud member of the queer community. With blistering speed on the ice and a steadfast commitment to equity in sports, Conor is doing so much more than winning medals – he’s redefining what it means to represent one’s country while representing one’s community.

McDermott-Mostowy is one step closer to the 2026 Winter Olympics after winning the recent silver and bronze medals at the U.S. Championships in speedskating. He appeared at a Nov. 1 event presented by Out Athlete Fund/Pride House LA in the organization’s efforts to raise funds to support Conor and other out athletes as they pursue their Olympic dreams in Milan 2026 and beyond.The Blade spoke to the star athlete to talk about resilience, representation, and the legacy he hopes to leave one day.

Blade: Huge congrats, Conor! Winning a World Cup gold is no small feat. Do you feel like this win proved something to the world – or more importantly, to yourself?

McDermott-Mostowy: Winning gold with my team last year was definitely a major goal achieved. That said, the event we won isn’t yet an Olympic event. The races that have had the most profound impact on me actually happened two years ago.

The first was the team pursuit in Obihiro, Japan. I’d always been more of an alternate for that event, since it’s typically raced by skaters who compete in both the 1500m and 5000m. But I’d been itching for the opportunity to race it at the World Cup level. I finally got that chance when a teammate had to pull out at the last minute due to a back issue. We led the race through six of eight laps, ultimately finishing third. While it was a little disappointing to fall out of the lead, I was proud to prove that I could contribute meaningfully and help the team medal.

The second race was later that year in Salt Lake City, my home ice. After competing in Japan, I came down with a lung infection that affected my performance at the next few World Cups. Fortunately, I had time to recover before the North American World Cups and World Championships. At the Salt Lake City World Cup, I was balancing competition with completing my undergraduate degree. I didn’t know what to expect, but I ended up finishing fifth in the 1000m—my highest individual finish ever—and posted a time of 1:06.91. That’s a very significant time in speedskating; only three other Americans have gone under 1:07 in that event, all of whom became world champions. That result felt like a turning point, showing me that an Olympic or World Championship medal wasn’t just a dream—it was within reach.

Blade: This PrideHouse LA event is a huge moment. What does that support from the queer community mean to you?

McDermott-Mostowy: It’s incredibly meaningful. Being queer in Olympic sport can be very isolating, both inside and outside the sport. I barely have time to socialize outside of skating, and relocating to Salt Lake City doesn’t exactly help when it comes to queer community. So having that kind of solidarity and support from the wider LGBTQ+ community really means a lot.

Blade: Do you remember the moment you realized skating could take you all the way to the Olympics?

McDermott-Mostowy: There hasn’t been one single moment. It’s been a series of them. Over the years, I’ve had many races that shattered the limits I thought I had and inspired me to reach higher. That Salt Lake City race was one of them. It made me realize I shouldn’t just aim for the Olympics. I should aim for medals.

Another key moment came in 2018 at my last Junior World Cup, when my teammate and I finished 2nd and 3rd in the mass start. That event is similar to short track but held on a long track. It was my first full year focusing on long track after previously dabbling in it, and we had no expectation of medaling. But after we did, I realized I might actually have a future in this discipline—and that I could be competitive on the world stage. It was a pivotal realization, especially as I was trying to decide whether to continue skating or pursue a traditional college experience.

Blade: What initially drew you to speedskating? How did you get into the sport—and what’s kept you motivated?

McDermott-Mostowy: I grew up on skates. I started at age two and became a strong skater early on. But I never had any interest in hockey or figure skating. One winter, I was skating with my family on the C&O Canal in Washington, D.C., when a guy skated past us on these wild-looking speed skates. I was immediately intrigued. My parents found a local club, which happened to be run by three-time Olympian Nathaniel Mills, and I was hooked.

What’s kept me going is simple: I love it. This isn’t a sport you get rich in. I’ve only earned more than $20,000 a year twice in my career, and you can’t use it to pay for college either. The motivation has to come from within—the pursuit of excellence, the dream of going to the Olympics, and pure love for the sport.

Blade: What’s been your toughest race to date, and what did it teach you?

McDermott-Mostowy: That would be the team pursuit in Japan. I wasn’t expecting to race it and had already competed in a full weekend of events before getting the call. Team pursuit is arguably the toughest event in speedskating. Stepping up without being mentally or physically prepared was a challenge, but I did it. It showed me I could push through, even under extreme circumstances.

Blade: You’ve made headlines not just for your speed, but for your openness. What was it like coming out publicly in the world of elite sport?

McDermott-Mostowy: By the time I was publicly identified as gay, I had already been out to anyone who asked. So “coming out” doesn’t feel like the right term. It wasn’t a big declaration. I had the benefit of growing up seeing openly gay athletes and being part of a supportive community. I never felt the need to hide who I was.

Eventually, as I started achieving more on the ice, people began noticing me and the content I posted, and they put two and two together. When I was asked to speak publicly about being an openly gay athlete in speedskating, I didn’t hesitate.

Blade: What have been the biggest challenges in your career – physically, mentally, or otherwise?

McDermott-Mostowy: Honestly, my entire career has been about overcoming challenges. The two biggest obstacles have been illness and finances.

I’ve dealt with asthma, a norovirus that derailed my chances in 2022, and a fatigue condition last season that affected my performance. These setbacks take a toll. Not just physically, but mentally. When you invest everything into your sport, being forced to pause or scale back is a huge emotional hurdle.

Financially, speedskating is a tough path. Even as a consistent top-20 skater in the world, I’ve only broken $20k twice in a year, and we’re paid for just nine months, even though we train year-round. I’ve leaned on friends and family for support many times just to make ends meet.

Blade: Have you ever been told – explicitly or implicitly – that being openly gay could hurt your chances with sponsors or coaches?

McDermott-Mostowy: Never with coaches. In our sport, selections are based on the clock, not someone’s opinion. My coaches have always been great.

But when it comes to sponsorships, especially over the past year, I’ve noticed a shift. As anti-DEI sentiment grows, brands are backing away from anything that could be seen as “controversial.” Being openly gay seems to fall into that category now. Since most of our income comes from sponsorships, that retreat is deeply felt.

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