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The pain of positive change

Trans author shares angst and triumph in new memoir

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(Image courtesy University of Wisconsin Press)

Change — good or bad — is often tough. Trans author Joy Ladin knows that first hand.

Pain had accompanied her for most of her days, but in her new book “Through the Door of Life,” she explains a journey that was, for her, long overdue.

Joy Ladin “never much wanted to live.”

Born into relative privilege, Ladin, born male, had a good childhood, but death “seemed close.” Ladin remembers thinking that the idea of dying was exciting, while life was not because life, at the time, was spent in the wrong body.

“I spent my childhood trying to be what people wanted me to be,” she says, which worked, outwardly. Few noticed or knew that Ladin was struggling, so adept was she at tamping down feelings of sorrow.

At 17, while away at college, Ladin met her “life partner,” to whom she confessed her inner turmoil. The woman was undaunted; they married in 1982 — Ladin’s wife made it clear that she could accept Ladin’s transsexual feelings but not a transition — and they started a family within the decade. Ladin took pride in being a father.

But in 2005, everything began to fall apart.

Ladin started having panic attacks and suicidal thoughts. No longer able to withstand the soul-crushing pain of living in a body that was all wrong, she shaved off the beard she’d had since puberty, began taking hormones and tried to maintain a dual life that would satisfy her wife, three children, her God, and her colleagues at Stern College for Women of Yeshiva University.

And slowly, Joy Ladin began to embrace the woman she knew herself to be.

“Through the Door of Life” is a bit of a conundrum. It soars with celebration, then drops like a stone into an abyss of angst. There are self-depreciating, bittersweetly humorous passages, followed by wailing rants that hurt to read. There’s love in here, and hate that’ll make you gasp. And, repeatedly, author Joy Ladin gives you all this in the space of a page or two.

Despite that repetition, what readers will appreciate most, I think, is that Ladin pulls no punches. We’re given a front-row seat at the difficulty — and shaky triumph — of being true to one’s self despite the costs. Yes, there are bumps in this story, but Ladin’s honesty is hard to beat.

“Through the Door of Life” is deep and thick with thought, emotion and pain, but its cover should clue you in on the kind of read you’ll end up with. That kind of Joy should make you want to change your schedule to read this book.

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Sports

Blade, Pride House LA announce 2028 Olympics partnership

Media sponsorship to amplify stories of LGBTQ athletes

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(Photo by Chaay Tee via Bigstock)

The Los Angeles Blade and Washington Blade on Friday announced a media partnership with the Out Athlete Fund, which will produce Pride House LA for the 2028 Summer Olympics.

Pride House is the home for LGBTQ fans and athletes that will become a destination during the L.A. Summer Games in West Hollywood in partnership with the City of WeHo. This 17-day celebration for LGBTQ athletes and fans will include medal ceremonies for out athletes, interactive installations, speakers, concerts, and more.

The Los Angeles Blade will serve as the exclusive L.A.-area queer media sponsor for Pride House LA and the Washington Blade will support the efforts and amplify coverage of the 2028 Games.

The Blade will provide exclusive coverage of Pride House plans, including interviews with queer athletes and more. The parties will share content and social media posts raising awareness of the Blade and Out Athlete Fund. The Blade will have media credentials and VIP access for related events. 

“We are excited to partner with the Washington Blade, the oldest LGBTQ newspaper in the United States and the Los Angeles Blade, already a strong supporter of Out Athlete Fund and Pride House LA/West Hollywood,” said Michael Ferrera, CEO of Pride House LA. “Our mission is about increasing the visibility of LGBTQ+ athletes and fans to challenge the historical hostility toward our community in the sports world. Visibility is what publications like the Washington and Los Angeles publications are all about. We know they will play a key part in our success.”

“LGBTQ visibility has never been more important and we are thrilled to work with Out Athlete Fund and Pride House LA to tell the stories of queer athletes and ensure the 2028 Summer Games are inclusive and affirming for everyone,” said Blade Editor Kevin Naff.

Out Athlete Fund is a 501(c)3 designed to raise money to offset the training cost of out LGBTQ athletes in need of funding for training. The Washington Blade is the nation’s oldest LGBTQ news outlet; the Los Angeles Blade is its sister publication founded nine years ago.

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Out & About

Celebrate Black History Month

LGBTQ+ Community Center to host series of events

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‘Paris is Burning’ is screening as part of Black History Month commemorations at the DC Center. (File photo courtesy of Reel Affirmations)

In honor of Black History Month, the DC LGBTQ+ Community Center will host a series of events uplifting the histories, artistry, and resilience of Black LGBTQ+ communities through dialogue, film, and intentional gathering.

The series begins with “Ballroom Culture: Rhythms of Resilience,” a panel discussion on Tuesday, Feb. 10, 2026 at 7 p.m. Artists, activists, and leaders from the ballroom community will explore ballroom’s historical, cultural, and political significance as a site of resistance, kinship, creative expression, and social justice within Black, Latinx, and LGBTQ+ communities. 

On Friday, Feb. 13 at 12:30 p.m., the Center will host a screening of the groundbreaking documentary “Paris is Burning,” which chronicles New York City’s ballroom scene and house culture while examining themes of race, class, identity, and survival through the voices of legendary performers including Willi Ninja, Pepper LaBeija, and Dorian Corey.

The month will conclude with “Soul Centered: A Black LGBTQ+ Gathering” on Saturday, Feb. 21, 2026 at 3:30 p.m. This free, RSVP-required event invites Black LGBTQ+ community members into a space of rest, connection, and reflection centered on love in all its forms. The gathering will feature a panel conversation with Black LGBTQ+ creatives, healers, and community members, followed by intentional speed connections and a closing social mixer. 

For more details and to RSVP, visit the Center’s website.

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Calendar

Calendar: February 6-12

LGBTQ events in the days to come

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Friday, February 6

Center Aging Monthly Luncheon With Yoga will be at 12 p.m. at the DC Center for the LGBT Community. Email Mac at [email protected] if you require ASL interpreter assistance, have any dietary restrictions, or questions about this event.

Spark Social will host “RuPaul’s Drag Race Watch Party S18 Watch Party” at 8 p.m. Drag Entertainers TrevHER and Grey provide hilarious commentary and make live predictions on who’s staying and who’s going home. Stick around after the show for a live drag performance. The watch party takes place on our heated outdoor patio and cozy indoor space. Attendance is free and more details are available on Eventbrite

Go Gay DC will host “First Friday LGBTQ+ Community Social” at 7 p.m. at Silver Diner Ballston. This is a chance to relax, make new friends, and enjoy happy hour specials at this classic retro venue. Attendance is free and more details are available on Eventbrite

Saturday, February 7

Go Gay DC will host “LGBTQ+ Community Brunch” at 11 a.m. at Freddie’s Beach Bar & Restaurant. This fun weekly event brings the DMV area LGBTQ+ community, including allies, together for delicious food and conversation.  Attendance is free and more details are available on Eventbrite.

LGBTQ People of Color will be at 7 p.m. on Zoom. This peer support group is an outlet for LGBTQ People of Color to come together and talk about anything affecting them in a space that strives to be safe and judgement free. There are all sorts of activities like watching movies, poetry events, storytelling, and just hanging out with others. For more information and events, visit thedccenter.org/poc or facebook.com/centerpoc.

Sunday, February 8

DMV Gay Dog Moms will host “Puppy Love” at 1 p.m. at Wunder Garten. This a Valentine’s pawty and market for dog lovers. Get gifts for your loved ones – both human & canine at this event. Attendance is free and more details are available on Eventbrite

Monday, February 9

“Center Aging: Monday Coffee Klatch” will be at 10 a.m. on Zoom. This is a social hour for older LGBTQ+ adults. Guests are encouraged to bring a beverage of choice. For more information, contact Adam ([email protected]).

Genderqueer DC will be at 7 p.m. on Zoom. This is a support group for people who identify outside of the gender binary, whether you’re bigender, agender, genderfluid, or just know that you’re not 100% cis. For more details, visit genderqueerdc.org or Facebook

Tuesday, February 10

Coming Out Discussion Group will be at 7 p.m. on Zoom. This is a safe space to share experiences about coming out and discuss topics as it relates to doing so — by sharing struggles and victories the group allows those newly coming out and who have been out for a while to learn from others. For more details, visit the group’s Facebook

Trans Discussion Group will be at 7 p.m. on Zoom. This is intended to provide an emotionally and physically safe space for trans people and those who may be questioning their gender identity or expression to join together in community and learn from one another. For more details, email [email protected]

Wednesday, February 11

Job Club will be at 6 p.m. on Zoom upon request. This is a weekly job support program to help job entrants and seekers, including the long-term unemployed, improve self-confidence, motivation, resilience and productivity for effective job searches and networking — allowing participants to move away from being merely “applicants” toward being “candidates.” For more information, email [email protected] or visit thedccenter.org/careers.

Thursday, February 12

The DC Center’s Fresh Produce Program will be held all day at the DC Center for the LGBT Community. To be more fair with who is receiving boxes, the program is moving to a lottery system. People will be informed on Wednesday at 5:00 pm if they are picked to receive a produce box. No proof of residency or income is required. For more information, email [email protected] or call 202-682-2245. 

Virtual Yoga Class will be at 7 p.m. on Zoom. This free weekly class is a combination of yoga, breathwork and meditation that allows LGBTQ+ community members to continue their healing journey with somatic and mindfulness practices. For more details, visit the DC Center’s website.  

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