National
Santorum’s trusted gay ‘friend and confidante’
Despite calling himself a political commentator, gay former Santorum staffer Robert Traynham refuses to talk to gay media
Former Pennsylvania Sen. Rick Santorum is back in the limelight after sweeping Tuesday’s GOP primaries and caucuses in Minnesota, Colorado and Missouri. Most voters are aware of Santorum’s abysmal record on LGBT-related issues. He was a leading supporter of a constitutional amendment to ban same-sex marriage and even declared that overturning the nation’s sodomy laws would mean Americans had the right to “bigamy, polygamy and incest.”
But what many don’t remember is that one of Santorum’s top aides and closest advisers in the Senate was an openly gay man, Robert Traynham. The Blade has reached out to Traynham in recent weeks but he declined our interview requests. He now describes himself as a political commentator and has appeared on MSNBC.
Below is a story the Blade published in July 2005 on Santorum and Traynham.
Santorum defends outed gay staffer
Anti-gay senator calls aide ‘a trusted friend and confidante’
By LOU CHIBBARO JR.
U.S. Sen. Rick Santorum (R-Pa.), considered one of the strongest opponents of gay civil rights in Congress, acknowledged to the media last week that his chief spokesperson is a gay man who he considers an “exemplary” employee and “trusted friend.”
News that Santorum’s communications director, Robert Traynham, is gay and has been open about his sexual orientation to Santorum since he joined the senator’s staff eight years ago stunned gay activists and Pennsylvania’s political establishment.
“It disturbs me that he has a gay person on his staff and yet he is so hostile to the rights of LGBT people,” said Stacey Sobel, executive director of the Philadelphia-based Center for Lesbian & Gay Civil Rights. “If he is open minded enough to have an openly gay staff member, why is he not open minded about the issues important to his LGBT constituents?”
Traynham’s sexual orientation surfaced in the news media after gay activist Michael Rogers reported on the Web site, PageOneQ.com, that he had recorded a telephone conversation in which Traynham confirmed that he is gay and out to Santorum. Rogers reported that he learned about Traynham’s sexual orientation through readers of his Web sites.
Nearly all the major press outlets in Pennsylvania, including the Philadelphia Inquirer, quickly picked up on Traynham’s status as a gay man. Santorum and some of his supporters charged that the outing was aimed at hurting Santorum’s re-election bid next year, where he trails in the polls to Democrat Robert Casey Jr., the state treasurer.
In a statement released by his office, Santorum said Traynham has worked for him for eight years. During the past four years, Santorum said, Traynham served as deputy chief of staff for the Senate Republican Conference, which Santorum heads, before returning to Santorum’s personal office to become communications director.
“He is widely respected and admired on Capitol Hill, both among the press corps and among congressional staff, as a communications professional,” Santorum said. “Not only is Mr. Traynham an exemplary staffer, he is also a trusted friend and confidante to me and my family,” Santorum said in his statement.
“It is entirely unacceptable that my staff’s personal lives are considered fair game by partisans looking for arguments to bolster my opponent’s campaign,” Santorum said. “Mr. Traynham continues to have my full support and confidence as well as my prayers as he navigates this rude and mean-spirited invasion of his personal life.”
Aide’s friends step forward
Traynham has declined all requests for interviews by the media. However, he released information to the Blade this week through several intermediaries who know him through his role as a trusted Santorum aide.
“Robert says Sen. Santorum is a great boss, a wonderfully kind, generous, and able person and a caring friend,” said gay Republican activist Jim Driscoll, who has had dealings with Traynham in his role as a past member of the Presidential Advisory Council on HIV/AIDS.
Bill Reynolds, communications director for Sen. Arlen Specter (R-Pa.), said Traynham does not share all of Santorum’s views on homosexuality or gay rights but prefers to “work on the inside” to present differing viewpoints.
“He is intelligent and competent,” Reynolds said. “Everybody likes him.”
Reynolds said he did not know Traynham was gay until he learned about it from news media reports last week.
“The issue is this is really not an issue,” Reynolds said. “Whether he is gay or not, nobody cares.”
Erica Wright, who worked as Santorum’s communications director before Traynham took the job, said “everyone” who worked with Traynham on Santorum’s staff knew of his sexual orientation.
“Robert is who he is,” she said. “He has been out since he was 20 years old,” she recalled Traynham telling her. “He did not always bring this out, but he did not conceal it.”
A prominent Capitol Hill news reporter, who asked not to be identified, said Traynham “is saddened by what he considers an invasion of his privacy.”
“Robert feels he can be effective inside the system to try to work for change as it relates to gay policy — quietly, behind the scenes,” the reporter said.
The reporter, who knows Traynham from his coverage of the Senate, added, “Robert is a devout Catholic who tries to get to Mass three times a week, usually before work or during lunch. He says he has a strong sense of his faith and struggles just like everyone else about how to deal with these issues.”
Author and gay civil rights activist Keith Boykin reported on his Web site, which focuses on African-American gay issues, that Traynham’s status as a black gay man working for an anti-gay senator considered hostile to civil rights in general came as a shock to many black gays.
Boykin noted that before joining Santorum’s staff, Traynham served as political director for Black America’s Political Action Committee, or BAMPAC, which works to elect black conservatives to public office.
“But Traynham is not one of those black gay Republicans who is challenging his party on their racism and homophobia,” Boykin wrote. “No, instead he’s defending the party and its most vocal bigots. The only reason we know of Traynham’s sexual orientation is because he was outed.”
Santorum has been one of the leading supporters of a constitutional amendment to ban same-sex marriage, declaring on the Senate floor last year that legalizing gay marriage would threaten the existence of the traditional family unit of a husband and wife with children.
Shortly before the U.S. Supreme Court struck down state laws making consensual sodomy a crime, Santorum said if the high court says same-sex partners have a right to consensual sex in their homes, “then you have the right to bigamy, you have the right to polygamy, you have the right to incest, you have the right to adultery. You have the right to anything.”
State Department
State Department implements anti-trans bathroom policy
Memo notes directive corresponds with White House executive order
The State Department on April 20 announced employees cannot use bathrooms that correspond with their gender identity.
The Daily Signal, a conservative news website, reported the State Department announced the new policy in a memo titled “Updates Regarding Biological Sex and Intimate Spaces, Including Restrooms.”
The State Department has not responded to the Washington Blade’s request for comment on the directive.
“The administration affirms that there are two sexes — male and female — and that federal facilities should operate on this objective and longstanding basis to ensure consistency, privacy, and safety in shared spaces,” State Department spokesperson Tommy Piggot told the Daily Signal. “In line with President Trump’s executive order this provides clear, uniform guidance to the department by grounding policy in biological sex as determined at birth.”
President Donald Trump shortly after he took office in January 2025 issued an executive order that directed the federal government to only recognize two genders: male and female. The sweeping directive also ordered federal government agencies to “effectuate this policy by taking appropriate action to ensure that intimate spaces designated for women, girls, or females (or for men, boys, or males) are designated by sex and not identity.”
The Daily Signal notes the new State Department policy “does not prohibit single-occupancy restrooms.”
National
I’m telling the scared little girl I once was it’s okay to feel free
This week is Lesbian Visibility Week
Uncloseted Media published this article on April 23.
By SOPHIE HOLLAND | At 13 years old, I remember looking in the mirror in my Toronto bathroom and thinking, “Yeah, I’m a lesbian.” At the time, I thought it was a dirty word. Thinking back, it could be because the first time I heard it was when a family member said, “I don’t know what a lesbian is, they are like aliens.”
And although I walked around in camouflage Crocs with a rainbow My Little Pony charm, plaid knee-length shorts and a shark tooth necklace (yes, these are all, in my opinion, stereotypically lesbian apparel!), I didn’t feel like I fit the mold. The longer I thought about it, the worse I felt, so I buried my feelings deep inside.
Now I am 25, and I have been out since I was 22. Three years ago, I never could have imagined that I’d be working for a queer news publication and celebrating Lesbian Visibility Week, an annual event meant to honor and uplift lesbian perspectives and highlight the hardships our community faces. To me, LVW is so important because, frankly, it has been an absolute shit show getting here, to a place where I feel love and joy most days.
I think back to the frustration of constantly being asked, “Do you have a boyfriend?” Of watching princess movies and seeing a broken girl only find herself when her prince charming arrives. I remember listening to music that was always about heterosexual relationships. I remember feeling left out in high school when, one by one, my friends got boyfriends.
I tried the boyfriend, and I tried really hard for it to work at a large detriment to my wellbeing. I brainwashed myself into thinking I was probably bisexual, which I told my closest friends around 16 and unsuccessfully told my parents at the same age. I was probably subconsciously using this as a litmus test of their acceptance and to soothe the anxiety I felt around my sexuality.
Learning to love who I am did not only come from me unraveling my internalized lesbophobia and dissecting the oppressive societal messages of heteronormativity. It came from meeting an awesome community of lesbians and queers. I found people who understood my worldview and who showed me the ropes. I no longer had to stutter over concepts like lesbian loneliness or my frustration with misogynistic straight men.
They all just got it.
Without this community, I am not sure if I could be as warm and confident in myself as I am today.
And while I still experience homophobia, like being spat on while walking with an ex in downtown Toronto or having a stranger yell in my face “Are you fucking lesbians?” in Kensington Market, the joy and love still outweighs the nasty.
So, as the sentimental dyke that I have become, I decided to ask a set of lesbians in my orbit — including my friends as well as Uncloseted staffers, board members and followers — if they would share a little bit about what makes them love being a lesbian. And now, I can share it with all of you. Here they are. Happy LVW!
Timi Sotire
Falling in love with her was a reset. I felt like a kid again, hopeful about the future. We’ve had to overcome many obstacles to be together, but I’d choose her in every lifetime. I was sick with a long-term health condition when we met, and hanging out with Sophia really helped me with my recovery after my surgery.
Bella Sayegh
Being a lesbian is one of the most beautiful things in the world. To be authentically yourself in resistance and joy is so special within the lesbian community.
Parker Wales
When I met Liv, I finally understood why almost every song is about love.
Gillian Kilgour
There is no connection quite as perfect as between lesbians, no one sees me like my lesbians do.
Chyna Price
There’s many things I love about being a lesbian. But here are my top three:
- There’s just a deeper understanding when it comes to being loved by another woman.
- The next one would be the sense of community, especially being a POC masculine-presenting lesbian. I don’t feel like I’m cosplaying as someone else like I felt like I was doing before I came out.
- There’s so much history going back to the 1800s on how we found and fought for our love. That fight makes me proud because it shows me … that we’ve [found] ways to express our love even when it was misunderstood, illegal and deemed as madness.
Hope Pisoni
Before I knew I was a lesbian, romantic relationships seemed suffocating — it felt like everyone would expect me to act my part in the meticulous performance that is heterosexuality. But meeting my spouse and discovering our identities together showed me just how freeing it could be to love without a script to follow.
Leital Molad
It was the joy of watching the New York Sirens defeat the Toronto Sceptres at our first professional women’s hockey game — surrounded by hundreds (maybe thousands?) of cheering lesbians.
Angela Earl
I spent years building a life that looked right. But I never felt settled, and eventually I started asking what would actually make me happy. Coming out was about more than who I love, it was letting go of everything I was told to be. The last few years have felt like coming home to a life that had been waiting for me.
Tali Bray
What I love about being a lesbian is what I love about being in love … the wonder and joy of “oh, this is what it’s supposed to feel like.” I love moving through the world with women.
Izzy Stokes
I didn’t fall in love until I realized that queerness was an option. My queer friends have helped me see so much more than I grew up seeing. I’m so proud of us, and I’m so grateful for my lesbian community.
Nandika Chatterjee
When I met my fiancée is when I started to feel most like myself. That meant loving myself for who I am and embracing my identity as a lesbian. I felt free in a way I have never before. That’s the long and short of it.
Liz Lucking
The love and joy of being a lesbian is getting to live the life I dreamed of but never thought I would get to have!
Reflections
As I read these beautiful entries, it’s not lost on me that we’re still living in a world where lesbians are more likely to struggle with maternity problems, fetishization, and compulsory heterosexuality — not to mention the intersectional pressures of racism from both inside and outside the queer community. That’s part of why, according to a 2024 survey, 22 percent of LGBTQ women have attempted suicide, and 66 percent have sought treatment for trauma.
So if you are a lesbian who isn’t out or doesn’t feel safe, I hope you read this and can glean some hope from these messages. So when you look in the mirror, you know that it’s okay to release the weight — which can feel so heavy — of a heteronormative world.
We still have a long fight until all lesbians can feel safe to be themselves, but this is a community that does not back away from the tough, from the joy, from being loud and from all the other things that it takes to start a small revolution.
Hell yeah, lesbians! Here’s to you.
*I am signing off with my cat on my lap and a pride flag over my head <3.
Cuba
Trans parent charged with kidnapping, allegedly fled to Cuba with child
Cuban authorities helped locate Rose Inessa-Ethington
Federal authorities have charged a transgender woman with kidnapping after she allegedly fled to Cuba with her 10-year-old child.
An affidavit that Federal Bureau of Investigation Special Agent Jennifer Waterfield filed in U.S. District Court for the District of Utah on April 16 notes the child is a “biological male who identifies as a female” and “splits time living with divorced parents who share custody” in Cache County, Utah.
Waterfield notes the child on March 28 “was supposed to be traveling by car to” Calgary, Alberta, “for a planned camping trip with his transgender mother, Rose Inessa-Ethington, Rose’s partner, Blue Inessa-Ethington, and Blue’s 3-year-old child.”
The affidavit notes the group instead flew from Vancouver, British Columbia, to Mexico City on March 29. Waterfield writes the Inessa-Ethingtons and the two children then flew from Mérida, Mexico, to Havana on April 1.
The 10-year-old child called her biological mother on March 28 after they arrived in Canada. The custody agreement, according to the affidavit, required Rose Inessa-Ethington to return the child to her former spouse on April 3.
“Interviews of MV [Minor Victim] 1’s family members provided significant concerns for MV 1’s well-being, as MV 1 was born a male, however, identifies as a female child, which is largely believed to be due to manipulation by Rose Inessa-Ethington,” reads the affidavit. “Concerns exist that MV 1 was transported to Cuba for gender reassignment surgery prior to puberty.”
The affidavit indicates authorities found a note in the Inessa-Ethingtons’ home with “instruction from a mental health therapist located in Washington, D.C., including instruction to send the therapist the $10,000.00 and instructions on gender-affirming medical care for children.”
The affidavit does not identify the specific “mental health therapist” in D.C.
A Utah judge on April 13 ordered Rose Inessa-Ethington to “immediately” return the child to her former spouse. The former spouse also received sole custody.
“Your affiant believes that due to the extensive planning and preparation exhibited by both Rose Inessa-Ethington and Blue Inessa-Ethington to isolate MV 1 and take MV 1 to Havana, Cuba, without notifying or requesting permission from MV 1’s mother indicates they are likely not planning to return to the United States,” wrote Waterfield.
The affidavit notes Cuban authorities found the Inessa-Ethingtons and the child.
A press release the U.S. Attorney’s Office for the District of Utah issued notes the Inessa-Ethingtons “were deported from Cuba” on Monday “with the assistance of the FBI.”
The couple has been charged with International Parental Kidnapping. The Inessa-Ethingtons were arraigned in Richmond, Va., on Monday. The press release notes a federal court in Salt Lake City will soon handle the case.
The New York Times reported the child is now back with their biological mother.
“We are grateful to law enforcement for working swiftly to return the child to the biological mother,” said First Assistant U.S. Attorney Melissa Holyoak of the District of Utah in the press release.
The case is unfolding against the backdrop of increased tensions between Washington and Havana after U.S. forces on Jan. 3 seized now former Venezuelan President Nicolás Maduro and his wife, Cilia Flores.
President Donald Trump shortly after he took office in January 2025 issued an executive order that directed the federal government to only recognize two genders: male and female. A second White House directive banned federally-funded gender-affirming care for anyone under 19.
The U.S. Supreme Court last year in the Skrmetti decision upheld a Tennessee law that bans gender-affirming care for minors.
Cuba’s national health care system has offered free sex-reassignment surgeries since 2008.
Activists who are critical of Mariela Castro, the daughter of former President Raúl Castro who spearheads LGBTQ issues as director of Cuba’s National Center for Sexual Education, have previously told the Washington Blade that access to these procedures is limited. The Blade on Wednesday asked a contact in Havana to clarify whether Cuban law currently allows minors to undergo sex-reassignment surgery.
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