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Obstacles in the aisle

Local couple overcomes adversity, enters Crate & Barrel wedding contest

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Washington residents Jonathan Howard (left) and Gregory Jones are hoping to strike it big in a Crate & Barrel-sponsored wedding contest. (Photos by Heather Lyons; courtesy of Howard and Jones)

It began as little more than a lark, but a Washington gay couple entered a Crate & Barrel wedding contest and have been shocked to find friends and allies have catapulted them to the top of a huge list of nearly 200 couples hoping to nab the top prize of a $100,000 company-sponsored wedding.

Jonathan Howard, who’s 29 and just 11 days younger than his partner, Gregory Jones, discovered the contest in a Crate & Barrel e-mail. They moved to D.C. together in 2008 and got engaged in October when Howard popped the question. They’re planning to take advantage of the District’s new same-sex marriage law, which went into effect this week, but having an extra $100,000 would obviously sweeten the deal.

Howard and Jones were in second place as of press time with 5,906 votes. They’d previously been in the lead. A Chicago police officer who was paralyzed in the line of duty, Densey Cole, is in first place with Mary Cole with 10,677 votes, but they may be disqualified — they’re already married, having wed in the hospital when he awoke from a coma following the May 2009 accident. They’re hoping for an ocean-side ceremony to renew their vows. The rules state couples entering the contest must be engaged.

Howard says it would be amazing if they win.

“It would be great for us but more than that for the community to really say, ‘Hey, we’re a normal couple and we’re getting married and it doesn’t matter if it’s two men,'” Howard says. “This company is supporting us and it’s a great story, it’s a great step for marriage equality but in a completely different venue, not political at all. I would be shocked and amazed and overwhelmed and overjoyed and it would be just great for everybody involved.”

So how did these two average Joes convince nearly 6,000 people to vote for them? A lot of it stems from a tragedy they only hinted at in their 100-word online bio. Howard made a lot of friends and contacts in the gay community following an August 2008 hate crime attack. He and three friends were in Boston, where he went to college and lived at the time, when it happened.

“We were walking home and a group of four guys pulled up to us in a car,” Howard says. “I turned around to see what the commotion was and the last thing I remember is hearing, ‘Die, faggot, die,’ as they stomped my head into the pavement.”

Howard says he’s lucky he wasn’t seriously hurt in the attack. His attacker, Fabio Brandao, eventually pleaded guilty but received a two-year suspended sentence that let him get by without any jail time, an outrage, Howard says.

He met hundreds of gay activists and friends after the attack and was friends with many of them on Facebook. When they heard he and Jones were soliciting votes, they rallied in support. The Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation wrote about the couple spurring more votes and Jones’ brother’s fiance in Chicago, Katie Lindner, went on a mini-crusade of sorts helping them get the word out. She’s working on a graduate degree in Chicago on new media and says the Facebook phenomenon is fascinating to observe.

“People kind of think of [Facebook] as this thing that doesn’t seem important, that wastes your time and fills your day, but it gives me chills to see how much support there’s been for them,” Lindner says. “It’s bigger than any one individual could achieve.”

“I think people see our story as a nightmare with a fairy tale ending,” Jones says. “We went through this horrible thing together and it made us better, stronger people and brought us closer to each other.”

Though the votes are important, it will ultimately be up to a panel of judges to decide who wins. Several prizewinners will be selected from among the top 50 vote getters by Crate & Barrel employees.

Is it realistic to hope the company might select a gay couple for one of the top prizes, even the $100,000 grand prize? Vickie Lang, manager of public relations and community affairs for Crate & Barrel, says it’s certainly possible and that the gay-friendly company is open to it.

“Ultimately our role is to be a resource to any couple celebrating a wedding, a commitment ceremony or any of that,” Lang says. “As part of that, we’re celebrating inclusiveness and we’re excited about that. … We’re looking for couples who really reflect the Crate & Barrel lifestyle, whether they’re same-sex couples or heterosexual couples.”

And just what is the “lifestyle”? Lang mentions “Timeless, classic, high quality, clean, vibrant and comfortable — things for a warm, approachable lifestyle.”

There’s been an ugly side to the contest, though. Anonymous Chicago blogger Detective Shaved Longcock, who knows and supports the Coles, wrote in comments that have since been removed from his blog: “A gay couple is giving Densey and Mary Cole a run for their money? Let’s really get the vote out for one of our own. … I am not politically correct and never will be. Period! I am not going to let this fruit loop couple beat one of our own!”

That posting inspired a litany of anti-gay anonymous posts against Howard and Jones including, “these are all guys who can’t please a woman,” “faggots deserve to die,” “Homos are as sick as child molesters and rapists,” “I hope they all catch HIV,” and more.

But there’s also been an upside. Jones says he’s heard from people who harassed him with anti-gay slurs in school who’ve now voted for he and Howard to win. One even apologized.

“I can’t even put it into words,” Jones says. “It’s a warm and amazing feeling.”

A handful of other same-sex couples are also in the contest. One couple, Ed and Erwin, who have two adopted sons, are facing Erwin’s terminal lung cancer and hope to wed before he dies. They have more than 1,000 votes.

If they win, Howard and Jones would like to wed on their anniversary — Oct. 10 (10/10/10). If not, they’ll likely bump to April 2011.

Regardless of how it turns out, they’re happy to have found each other and thrilled that they can marry in Washington.

“It is so affirming that this is our nation’s capital and this happening right here around people making our rights, laws and liberties,” Jones says. “It also makes a huge statement that Congress had the ability to veto this and they did not. It sends a really positive message that this needs to be accepted and that we are equal and deserve every right that every other couple in this country deserves.”

To vote, go to www.ultimateweddingcontest.com and register an e-mail address. Howard and Jones are couple number 22682.

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Delaware

Delaware approves amendment protecting same-sex marriage

Measure must pass second vote in next year’s session

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Rep. Claire Snyder-Hall introduced the amendment bill earlier this week. (Washington Blade file photo by Daniel Truitt)

The Delaware General Assembly passed Senate Substitute 2 for Senate Bill 100 on the last day of the legislative session on Tuesday after being rescinded last week. 

Senate Substitute 2 for Senate Bill 100 (SB-100) passed with 28 ‘yes’ votes, meeting the two-thirds threshold required for the bill to pass. Tuesday was the last day of the 153rd General Assembly. 

The amendment would enshrine the right to same-sex and interracial marriage in the Delaware Constitution. 

SB-100 was rescinded last week after it did not receive enough votes to pass. Democrats were short by three votes, with two Democratic members missing from the vote.

Rep. Josue Ortega (D-03) voted ‘no’ on SB-100 and Rep. Medinah Anton-Wilson (D-27) did not vote. However, both members voted ‘yes’ for Senate Substitute 2 for SB-100 on Tuesday. 

Prime sponsor of SB 100, Rep. Claire Snyder-Hall (D-14), made the technical decision to change her vote last week from a ‘yes’ to a ‘no’ at the last minute to keep the bill alive. 

Additionally, Republican Assemblyman Michael Smith (R-22) joined the Democrats with a ‘yes’ vote after voting ‘no’ on SB-100 last week. 

In order for SB 100 to be enshrined into the state Constitution, it must be passed by two consecutive General Assemblies. Thus, the amendment will not be officially added to the Constitution unless it passes in the 154th General Assembly next year. 

Rep. Snyder-Hall introduced the measure earlier this week. 

“Just one week ago, we failed to pass this legislation. We failed the people of Delaware. But today, on the final day of the legislative session, the 153rd General Assembly affirmed that every Delawarean has the fundamental right to marry the person they love, regardless of race or gender,” said Snyder-Hall.

“Thank you to my colleagues for recognizing that the right to marry is a right worthy of protection and for voting yes on this important constitutional amendment.” 

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District of Columbia

Longtime Blade staffer Stephen Rutgers steps down after 14 years

Plans to focus on running Crush Dance Bar, other ventures

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Stephen Rutgers (left) with Blade Editor Kevin Naff at Pride on the Pier in 2025.

Longtime Washington Blade employee Stephen Rutgers announced he is stepping down after 14 years to focus on other ventures, including his part ownership of the popular Crush Dance Bar

Rutgers was hired by the Blade in 2012 to help plan Pride festivities and over the years was promoted to director of sales and marketing. In addition to his broad set of responsibilities, Rutgers planned the annual Pride on the Pier celebration at the Wharf, which has exploded in popularity over the seven years since its launch.

“Watching Pride on the Pier grow from a new community event into one of D.C.’s signature Pride celebrations has been incredibly rewarding,” Rutgers said. “Expanding Pride on the Pier into a two-day festival for WorldPride in 2025 was definitely a career highlight. Seeing thousands of people come together to celebrate our community while supporting the Blade’s mission is something I’ll always be proud of.”

A scene from Pride on the Pier and Fireworks Show during WorldPride 2025. (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

Rutgers described his biggest challenge as navigating the changing media landscape. 

“More than ever, we’ve had to remind our community that local journalism matters and that it needs their support,” he said.

He added that he’s most proud of helping to ensure the Washington Blade is positioned to thrive for the next 50 years.

“I was fortunate to be part of the Blade during its 50th anniversary — a milestone that reflects its incredible history and impact,” Rutgers said. “The Blade has been an important voice for the LGBTQ community for more than five decades, and knowing I played a small part in helping its future is most important to me.” 

Blade Publisher Brian Pitts praised Rutgers for juggling multiple responsibilities.

“We wish Stephen all the best,” Pitts said. “For the past 14 years, Stephen has been a vital part of the Blade, handling many things — marketing and advertising, sponsorships, and Blade signature events. We will all miss him.”  

Blade Editor Kevin Naff thanked Rutgers for his years of service to the community.

“After 14 years, it’s hard to imagine the Blade without Stephen and his boundless energy and creativity,” Naff said. “He’s one of the hardest working and most dedicated people I’ve ever known and he will be missed. But change is the only constant and I know Stephen will move on successfully to new challenges and the Blade will expand on Stephen’s important work.”

As for what’s next for Rutgers, he said he plans to focus on Crush as well as his real estate business.

“I’ve always been someone who likes to stay busy,” Rutgers said. “For the past 12 years, I’ve balanced my work at the Blade and in real estate. Two years ago when I opened Crush, I never realized just how much time and energy it would take. The passing of my father earlier this year also gave me a new perspective. It reminded me that life is short and that it’s important to make time for the people and experiences that matter most. Stepping away from the Blade will allow me to focus on those ventures while also creating more balance in my life. After 14 incredible years, it feels like the right time for a new chapter.”

Naff said that for now Rutgers’s responsibilities will be divided between existing staff along with several new freelance contractors. 

“The Washington Blade plays a unique role in our community’s fight for equality,” Rutgers said. “It’s the only LGBTQ news organization with White House credentials, giving it direct access to the people and institutions shaping policies that affect our community. The Blade continues to hold elected officials accountable, report on the issues that matter most to LGBTQ people, and tell the stories that often go uncovered by mainstream media.

“The Blade has been my family for most of my adult life. For 14 years, it has been part of my daily routine, so it’s going to feel very strange waking up and not logging on each morning.”

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Maryland

‘Girlfriends’ wanted for murder in Silver Spring arrested in Ohio

Montgomery County police charged both with killing mother of one of them

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Vanessa Wahanganisa Tjongarero-Henderson and Samantha Raebel were arrested. (Photos courtesy of Montgomery County, Md.)

Two women identified as a couple who have been wanted by Montgomery County, Md. police for allegedly killing the mother of one of them in her Silver Spring home on May 22 were arrested on June 10 in Ohio, according to a police statement.

The little-noticed statement released on June 11 says Vanessa Wahanganisa Tjongarero-Henderson, 29, of Clarksburg, Md., and Samantha Raebel, 36, of Phoenix, Ariz., who police earlier described as “girlfriends,” were apprehended by police in Genoa, Ohio after a local resident recognized them from news media coverage of the murder.

In their initial statement on June 4 announcing their investigation of the murder, Montgomery County Department of Police said they had charged the two women with first-degree murder for the death of Hilde Henderson, 67, who was the mother of Vanessa.     

“Through the course of the investigation, detectives identified Henderson’s daughter, Vanessa Tjonhgarero-Henderson, and Vanessa’s girlfriend, Raebel, as the suspects,” the police statement said. It said detectives obtained an arrest warrant for the two women for first-degree murder and asked the public for help in locating them.

“A nationwide search was launched for the suspects, with media coverage extending throughout Ohio, Nashville, and Phoenix,” the most recent statement on June 11 announcing the two women’s arrest says. “Major Crimes Division detectives received multiple tips from several states before the two women were ultimately located in Genoa, Ohio,” it says.

It adds that an autopsy determined the cause of Hilde Henderson’s death was blunt-force trauma injuries brought about by a murder. Police have yet to disclose whether they have determined a motive for the murder.

“Tjongarero-Henderson and Raebel are currently being held at the Ottawa County [Ohio] Detention Center awaiting extradition to Maryland,” the statement concludes.  

A spokesperson for the Office of the Montgomery County State’s Attorney, which prosecutes criminal cases in the county, told the Washington Blade the extradition was still pending and the two women had yet to be brought back to Maryland for prosecution as of June 29.

CBS News reported on June 16 that shortly after the two women fled almost 500 miles to Genoa, Ohio, they met a local resident at a fast-food restaurant and asked her for help, claiming they were homeless.

“They said they were living in Maryland,” CBS News quoted the resident, Adrienne Behrman, as saying. “They had taken what little money they had and left a toxic living situation, and they were headed to Arizona,” Behrman told CBS.

According to the CBS report, Behrman, who allowed the women to temporarily stay in her home, became suspicious that the stories they were telling her did not add up.

When one of them asked her for cigarettes and offered to reimburse her through the online Cash App payment platform, Behrman learned the woman’s real name—Henderson—through the app. Behrman then did an online search, “and that is when everything unraveled,” CBS reports, saying the search led to multiple press reports that the women were wanted for murder.

After leaving her home with the two women inside she called 911 to report the location of two people wanted for murder, CBS reports, adding that at least six police cars arrived and used a loud speaker to order the women out of the house and arrested them.

“I just hope the family and friends who knew the mother can have some peace,” Behrman told CBS News.     

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