Local
Obstacles in the aisle
Local couple overcomes adversity, enters Crate & Barrel wedding contest
Washington residents Jonathan Howard (left) and Gregory Jones are hoping to strike it big in a Crate & Barrel-sponsored wedding contest. (Photos by Heather Lyons; courtesy of Howard and Jones)
It began as little more than a lark, but a Washington gay couple entered a Crate & Barrel wedding contest and have been shocked to find friends and allies have catapulted them to the top of a huge list of nearly 200 couples hoping to nab the top prize of a $100,000 company-sponsored wedding.
Jonathan Howard, who’s 29 and just 11 days younger than his partner, Gregory Jones, discovered the contest in a Crate & Barrel e-mail. They moved to D.C. together in 2008 and got engaged in October when Howard popped the question. They’re planning to take advantage of the District’s new same-sex marriage law, which went into effect this week, but having an extra $100,000 would obviously sweeten the deal.
Howard and Jones were in second place as of press time with 5,906 votes. They’d previously been in the lead. A Chicago police officer who was paralyzed in the line of duty, Densey Cole, is in first place with Mary Cole with 10,677 votes, but they may be disqualified — they’re already married, having wed in the hospital when he awoke from a coma following the May 2009 accident. They’re hoping for an ocean-side ceremony to renew their vows. The rules state couples entering the contest must be engaged.
Howard says it would be amazing if they win.
“It would be great for us but more than that for the community to really say, ‘Hey, we’re a normal couple and we’re getting married and it doesn’t matter if it’s two men,'” Howard says. “This company is supporting us and it’s a great story, it’s a great step for marriage equality but in a completely different venue, not political at all. I would be shocked and amazed and overwhelmed and overjoyed and it would be just great for everybody involved.”
So how did these two average Joes convince nearly 6,000 people to vote for them? A lot of it stems from a tragedy they only hinted at in their 100-word online bio. Howard made a lot of friends and contacts in the gay community following an August 2008 hate crime attack. He and three friends were in Boston, where he went to college and lived at the time, when it happened.
“We were walking home and a group of four guys pulled up to us in a car,” Howard says. “I turned around to see what the commotion was and the last thing I remember is hearing, ‘Die, faggot, die,’ as they stomped my head into the pavement.”
Howard says he’s lucky he wasn’t seriously hurt in the attack. His attacker, Fabio Brandao, eventually pleaded guilty but received a two-year suspended sentence that let him get by without any jail time, an outrage, Howard says.
He met hundreds of gay activists and friends after the attack and was friends with many of them on Facebook. When they heard he and Jones were soliciting votes, they rallied in support. The Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation wrote about the couple spurring more votes and Jones’ brother’s fiance in Chicago, Katie Lindner, went on a mini-crusade of sorts helping them get the word out. She’s working on a graduate degree in Chicago on new media and says the Facebook phenomenon is fascinating to observe.
“People kind of think of [Facebook] as this thing that doesn’t seem important, that wastes your time and fills your day, but it gives me chills to see how much support there’s been for them,” Lindner says. “It’s bigger than any one individual could achieve.”
“I think people see our story as a nightmare with a fairy tale ending,” Jones says. “We went through this horrible thing together and it made us better, stronger people and brought us closer to each other.”
Though the votes are important, it will ultimately be up to a panel of judges to decide who wins. Several prizewinners will be selected from among the top 50 vote getters by Crate & Barrel employees.
Is it realistic to hope the company might select a gay couple for one of the top prizes, even the $100,000 grand prize? Vickie Lang, manager of public relations and community affairs for Crate & Barrel, says it’s certainly possible and that the gay-friendly company is open to it.
“Ultimately our role is to be a resource to any couple celebrating a wedding, a commitment ceremony or any of that,” Lang says. “As part of that, we’re celebrating inclusiveness and we’re excited about that. … We’re looking for couples who really reflect the Crate & Barrel lifestyle, whether they’re same-sex couples or heterosexual couples.”
And just what is the “lifestyle”? Lang mentions “Timeless, classic, high quality, clean, vibrant and comfortable — things for a warm, approachable lifestyle.”
There’s been an ugly side to the contest, though. Anonymous Chicago blogger Detective Shaved Longcock, who knows and supports the Coles, wrote in comments that have since been removed from his blog: “A gay couple is giving Densey and Mary Cole a run for their money? Let’s really get the vote out for one of our own. … I am not politically correct and never will be. Period! I am not going to let this fruit loop couple beat one of our own!”
That posting inspired a litany of anti-gay anonymous posts against Howard and Jones including, “these are all guys who can’t please a woman,” “faggots deserve to die,” “Homos are as sick as child molesters and rapists,” “I hope they all catch HIV,” and more.
But there’s also been an upside. Jones says he’s heard from people who harassed him with anti-gay slurs in school who’ve now voted for he and Howard to win. One even apologized.
“I can’t even put it into words,” Jones says. “It’s a warm and amazing feeling.”
A handful of other same-sex couples are also in the contest. One couple, Ed and Erwin, who have two adopted sons, are facing Erwin’s terminal lung cancer and hope to wed before he dies. They have more than 1,000 votes.
If they win, Howard and Jones would like to wed on their anniversary — Oct. 10 (10/10/10). If not, they’ll likely bump to April 2011.
Regardless of how it turns out, they’re happy to have found each other and thrilled that they can marry in Washington.
“It is so affirming that this is our nation’s capital and this happening right here around people making our rights, laws and liberties,” Jones says. “It also makes a huge statement that Congress had the ability to veto this and they did not. It sends a really positive message that this needs to be accepted and that we are equal and deserve every right that every other couple in this country deserves.”
To vote, go to www.ultimateweddingcontest.com and register an e-mail address. Howard and Jones are couple number 22682.
Virginia
Miyares joins efforts to fight Title IX changes
Republican Va. AG part of multi-state effort
BY NATHANIEL CLINE | Virginia Attorney General Jason Miyares has joined a multi-state effort to stop new Title IX rules from going into effect.
The list of new rules designed to protect victims of campus sexual assaults and the rights of LGBTQ students has come under attack by Republican attorneys general in several states.
Miyares called the changes a “dangerous overhaul” of Title IX, and said the new rules would negatively impact students, families and schools in the commonwealth. The ruling also comes after Gov. Glenn Youngkin’s administration overhauled the commonwealth’s transgender student policies.
“The Biden administration’s unlawful rule would jeopardize half a century of landmark protections for women, forcing the administration’s social agenda onto the states by holding federal funding hostage,” Miyares said in a statement. “They are avoiding Congress and the constitutional process because they know it will not pass. We cannot roll back Title IX in the name of false equity.”
Attorney generals from Tennessee, Indiana, Kentucky, Ohio, and West Virginia have also signed onto the suit, which was filed in Tennessee. Separate lawsuits have been filed in other states, including Louisiana and Texas.
Title IX, which has undergone several transformations based on the political party in office, was created to address women’s rights and prohibits any federally funded school or education program from discriminating against any student based on sex since it was established in 1972.
The Department of Education said some differences compared to the previous version developed under the Trump administration, include protections against all sex-based harassment and discrimination, prohibits schools from sharing personal information, and supports students and families.
Narissa Rahaman, executive director for Equality Virginia, said in a statement that the rule prevents opponents from weakening “crucial” civil rights protections including for LGBTQ students by ensuring that pregnant and parenting students have a right to equal education opportunities, protecting student survivors and guaranteeing the rights of LGBTQ students to come to school as themselves without fear of harassment or discrimination.
“Students across races, places, and genders prove every day that they can do great things, especially when there are strong Title IX protections in place, which is why the Biden administration’s updates to the Title IX rules are essential to ensure every student can thrive at school,” said Rahaman.
The new rule is slated to take effect on Aug. 1 and will apply to complaints of alleged conduct that occurs on or after that date, according to the Department of Education.
Protections
While the ruling protects students and employees from all sex-based harassment and discrimination, it will also impact LGBTQ students and employees, including providing complete protection from sex-based harassment, and prohibiting schools from sharing personal information.
Schools must act “promptly and effectively” to protect and treat all students and staff who make complaints “equitably.” Schools must also provide support measures to complainants and respondents, and act to end any sex discrimination in their programs and prevent any recurrence.
The rule further clarifies the definition of “sex-based harassment,” which means to treat someone unfairly because of their gender; and the scope of sex discrimination, including schools’ obligations not to discriminate based on sex stereotypes, sex characteristics, pregnancy or related conditions, sexual orientation, and gender identity.
The federal agency said the changes will empower and support students and families by requiring schools to disclose their nondiscrimination policies and procedures to all students, employees, and other participants in their education programs so that students and families understand their rights.
The final rule also protects against retaliation for students, employees, and others who exercise their Title IX rights, and supports the rights of parents and guardians to act on behalf of their elementary school and secondary school children.
The rule also protects student privacy by prohibiting schools from disclosing personally identifiable information with limited exceptions, which is something the Youngkin administration has opposed.
Advocates say one of the rights students should have is the power to decide who finds out about their transgender status, to protect them from being bullied or harassed.
Virginia policies
In 2021, the first model policies for trans students were designed under former Gov. Ralph Northam to provide school officials guidance on the treatment of trans and nonbinary students and to protect the privacy and rights of these students.
However, some schools declined to adopt the model policies, and the state law that led to them lacked enforcement incentives or penalties.
The current policies adopted by the Youngkin administration were revised to require parental approval for any changes to students’ “names, nicknames, and/or pronouns,” direct schools to keep parents “informed about their children’s well-being” and require that student participation in activities and athletics and use of bathrooms be based on sex, “except to the extent that federal law otherwise requires.”
Virginia schools have also not fully adopted the newly revised policies, and state law has not changed since the policies were overhauled in 2023.
The Virginia Department of Education faces two lawsuits over the policies adopted by the Youngkin administration.
“All Virginia students, including our transgender and nonbinary students deserve to feel safe and welcomed at schools,” said Wyatt Rolla, a senior trans rights attorney with the ACLU of Virginia. “Accessing restrooms, locker rooms and other facilities that are necessary when you are at school learning is a key part of our schools being inclusive of those transgender [and] non binary students that are part of our community.”
Athletics not included
The provisions under the new Title IX rule did not mention anything about requiring schools to allow trans students to play on teams that align with their gender identity. Virginia has taken its own shot at banning trans athletes from competing in sports through legislation.
In February, the Youngkin administration attempted to challenge the Virginia High School League’s policy on transgender athletes, the Daily Progress reported.
The proposed policy would have matched with the administration’s current policies that students should be placed on teams based on their biological sex rather than their gender identity.
The Virginia High School League, which oversees interscholastic athletic competition for Virginia’s public high schools, allows for trans athletes to participate on teams that match their gender identity, but under certain conditions.
Simultaneously, lawmakers in the Virginia General Assembly controlled by Democrats killed bills, including Senate Bill 68, during the previous session that would have essentially banned transgender students from competing in sports.
State Sen. Tammy Brankley Mulchi (R-Mecklenburg), who carried Senate Bill 723, said students like her 6-year-old granddaughter should have a choice to play with their own gender during a Feb. 1 Senate Education subcommittee hearing.
Mulchi’s bill would have required schools and colleges to have separate sports for boys and girls based on their biological sex. Any dispute would require a note from a doctor.
“If she [my granddaughter] wants to play an all-girl sport, I want her to play against girls that were born girls and not play against someone that is much stronger than her or can hurt her and take away her chances of a scholarship,” Mulchi said.
However, state Sen. Stella Pekarsky (D-Fairfax) argued during the February hearing that whether students are competing with their respective biological sex or not “children of all ages, sexes have different builds and strengths and no children are alike on the same team.”
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Nathaniel is an award-winning journalist who’s been covering news across the country since 2007, including politics at the Loudoun Times-Mirror and the Northern Neck News in Virginia as well as sports for the Plain Dealer in Cleveland, Ohio. He has also hosted podcasts, worked as a television analyst for Spectrum Sports, and appeared as a panelist for conferences and educational programs. A graduate of Bowie State University, Nathaniel grew up in Hawaii and the United Kingdom as a military brat.
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The preceding article was previously published by the Virginia Mercury and is republished with permission.
Nonprofit. Nonpartisan. No paywalls. Fair and tough reporting on the policy and politics that affect all of us is more important than ever. The Mercury brings you coverage of the commonwealth’s biggest issues from a team of veteran Virginia journalists.
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The Comings & Goings column is about sharing the professional successes of our community. We want to recognize those landing new jobs, new clients for their business, joining boards of organizations and other achievements. Please share your successes with us at: [email protected].
The Comings & Goings column also invites LGBTQ+ college students to share their successes with us. If you have been elected to a student government position, gotten an exciting internship, or are graduating and beginning your career with a great job, let us know so we can share your success.
Congratulations to Manny Cosme, owner of CFO Services Group, who was named Small Business Owner of the Year, for Washington, D.C., by the Small Business Administration.
SBA Administrator Isabel Castillas Guzman said, “Our 2024 National Small Business Week award winners exemplify excellence, innovation, and commitment, and the SBA is proud to showcase their incredible achievements and impact on their communities and our economy.” Upon being notified of the award Manny said, “I am incredibly honored and humbled to receive the Small Business Owner of the Year award from the Small Business Administration. This recognition serves as a testament to my team’s hard work, dedication, innovation, and impact in our local community. As a small business owner, I have always strived to embody excellence in my company’s services and commitment to my clients. My team and I are proud to represent the thriving small business communities across the country, and we remain committed to driving innovation, growth, and positive change in our industry.”
Cosme is the founder and current president and CEO of CFO Services Group. The firm is focused on providing bookkeeping, outsourced accounting departments, and fractional CFO advisory services, to growing small businesses and non-profit organizations. The company is headquartered in D.C., with team members and clientele throughout the United States. In addition to working with private business and non-profit clients, CFO Services Group partners with various economic development agencies, such as local governments, chambers of commerce organizations, CDFIs and SBDC centers, to provide free financial literacy and technical assistance to businesses in underserved communities.
Manny has served as the Vice President of Finance & Administration for the United States Hispanic Chamber of Commerce. He recently served as the Finance Chair for the Greater Washington Hispanic Chamber of Commerce, and Vice President of the Equality Chamber of Commerce. He is often sought after in keynote discussions on entrepreneurism and finance for fellow business owners.
Maryland
What Anne Arundel County school board candidates think about book bans
State lawmakers passed Freedom to Read Act in April
BY ROYALE BONDS | Parents’ efforts to restrict content available to students in school libraries has become a contentious issue in Maryland. Conservative parent groups, such as Moms for Liberty, have been working to get books they believe are inappropriate removed from libraries in Carroll and Howard counties, sparking protests, new policies, and even a state law.
The Freedom to Read Act, passed in April, sets standards that books cannot be removed from public and school libraries due to an author’s background. Library staff that uphold the standard are protected under this act. The law, however, does not prohibit removing books deemed “sexually explicit,” the stated reason local Moms for Liberty chapters challenged school library books.
The rest of this article can be read on the Baltimore Banner website.
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US Census Bureau testing survey on LGBTQ households
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Comings & Goings
Pride season has begun
Judy Shepard to receive Presidential Medal of Freedom
New World Bank US executive director: LGBTQ rights are human rights
MISTR announces it’s now prescribing DoxyPE
