Bars & Parties
Aiden Shaw on surviving porn, prostitution
To categorize Aiden Shaw as just a prostitute and porn star would be both lazy and obvious.
With more than 50 adult films to his name and years spent as a prostitute, he is approachable, intelligent and a survivor. Shaw was in Washington earlier this month to promote his newest book, “Sordid Truths: Selling My Innocence for a Taste of Stardom,” and appear at EFN Lounge/Motley Bar.
The owner of EFN Lounge, Bill Gray, said he asked Shaw to make an appearance at the establishment’s Friday night “Bearly CODE” happy hour.
“I didn’t want him to come and sign books,” Bill said. “I wanted him to just come and meet the guys of D.C., sign autographs — just socialize. He really fits in with the crowd that comes to Motley, so it really made sense.”
DC Agenda spoke with Aiden about his book, his time as a prostitute and more.
Agenda: In “Sordid Truths,” when describing the cross you’d made of “twigs and thorny red roses,” you make mention that you loved iconography and the passionate yet brutal imagery of Catholicism. Where do you believe this love stemmed from and do you still have it?
Shaw: I’ve always thought religious iconography was beautiful, even since I was a child. You see, to me it’s not about the beliefs behind it but the artistic beauty of the objects themselves.
Agenda: You say that while working as a prostitute, undressed, you felt less exposed, and that naked was your uniform. Were you always so comfortable in your skin? Were there ever instances where you were less sure?
Shaw: It’s funny about that. Some people think I may just walk around naked when I’m home, but you see when I’m by myself, I prefer to be clothed at all times — nearly to the point of showering in a bathing suit. But work is work, and being naked is the uniform for the job I was doing, and I was completely comfortable in that. Anyone who wears a uniform during the day for any job wants to change out of it as soon as the day is done, don’t they? I can say the same thing: That [after] being naked all day, it’s nice to just have the clothes back on while not working.
Agenda: There are some instances in the book where you discuss not knowing or sharing certain pieces of information about people in your life. Do you think this was done partly on a subconscious level to keep anyone from getting too close to you?
Shaw: I can see how it may seem like that there could be a great bit of sub context, however, unfortunately, it just wasn’t that deep. To be truthful, we never thought of things like that at the time. It’s just how things were at the time, due to all the drugs — not to mention information wasn’t available like it is now. Everyone has a cell phone now, when back then if you wanted to reach someone you needed to make an effort.
Agenda: You make reference to reading “The Happy Prince” by Oscar Wilde whenever you felt unsure of yourself. What part of the story do you identify most with? Is this something you still practice?
Shaw: Absolutely. It’s timeless and I believe it will always affect me. I always recommend everyone read it at least once.
Agenda: Towards the end of the book, you write, “Just say no to dealing drugs, not taking them.” You stated at your book signing that you are now sober. Has your opinion changed on this topic?
Shaw: “What the real problem is with most people is they become addicted. Addiction is the real problem, not necessarily the usage. Not that I’m condoning the usage, but the real problems begin when any addiction takes over.”
Agenda: When you tested positive for HIV, what was your reaction? How well did you handle it?
Shaw: I handled it as well as can be expected. It’s not like it was any big surprise to me, so I just carried on.
Agenda: Why did you decide to go public about your HIV status?
Shaw: I have never withheld the truth about anything, so this was no different. I was surrounded by supportive people, like Chi Chi LaRue, who all were incredible.
Agenda: Looking back on your film career, are there any that meant the most to you?
Shaw: I can’t really say any one film meant the most to me. Really, each film was just publicity, which is really what it’s all about. The more I got my name and face out there, the better off I was.
Agenda: What are your thoughts on today’s young gay guys in the adult film industry?
Shaw: I don’t really watch much of it, to be honest. Who is good and who isn’t is such a personal choice depending on what you find sexy. I find the demeanor of someone far more attractive, the way he looks at me, or holds his mouth in a particular way, than any one physical trait.
Bars & Parties
Lesbian Bar Project co-founder: purity politics could destroy our remaining spaces
Last Ditch’s decision to lift its mask requirement for one night a week has sparked intra-queer controversy
Uncloseted Media published this story on Sept. 29
By ERICA ROSE and THE LESBIAN BAR PROJECT | As a professional lesbian and Massachusetts native, I’ve recently been asked by a lot of folks what I think about the saga unfolding at Last Ditch. The now-viral story, first reported by the Boston Globe, centers on a Western Massachusetts lesbian bar that lifted its mask requirement for one night a week to help drum up business.
The decision ignited an intra-queer controversy that has been feasted on by media outlets across the political spectrum — from the New York Post to LGBTQ Nation — and is even reportedly being eyed for a Hollywood adaptation. Apparently nothing is more entertaining than a bunch of lesbians and queers fighting with each other over KN-95s.
What has been lost in all of the chatter and media coverage is the very real possibility that Last Ditch, which just opened in April 2025, will have to close its doors. The venue’s one remaining founder, Jackie Matellian, revealed in a community Zoom meeting that she’s working four jobs, is now solely responsible for the bar’s $50,000 business loan and is struggling to keep up with the bills. So as we laugh about the controversy’s similarity to a “Portlandia” skit and how one of the bar’s founders left to enroll in clown school, we forget that yet another lesbian bar is facing an existential crisis — and this time the call is coming from inside the house.
In 2020, my friend Elina Street and I created The Lesbian Bar Project, an Emmy-, Webby- and GLAAD Media Award-winning docuseries and initiative that tells the stories of lesbian queer bars around the world. We were moved to act because at the time there were only an estimated 16 lesbian bars in the United States, and the pandemic threatened to bring that number down even further.
There are now more sapphic bars than there were just before the pandemic — about 36 of them in total — but this is down from approximately 200 in 1980. Maybe that doesn’t mean much to you, but for the millions of sapphics living in the U.S., this number is calamitous.
As the world laughs at lesbians and sapphics, I want to take a second and tell you what I feel when I walk into one of these bars, which are all unique and irreplaceable in their own way: I feel seen.
Sometimes I think Cubbyhole in New York City’s West Village neighborhood knew I was gay before I did. When I walked in there for the first time, before I was even out, I was transfixed by the colorful array of tchotchkes hanging from the ceiling and how the women standing next to me were completely unafraid to express their desire for one another. I knew the minute I was ready to come out, I had a home. I also felt the joy of a new couple falling in love at Seattle’s Wildrose, the quiet confidence of a short king lining up her shot at the pool table at Ginger’s in Brooklyn and the kick of cayenne pepper in Julie Mabry’s crawfish at Houston’s Pearl Bar.
Lesbian bars don’t just serve lesbians; they serve queer folks across the spectrum, including bisexual, pansexual and trans people. As Elina and I traveled across the U.S. and Europe and to parts of Latin America to document the bar owners, staff and patrons that make up the ecosystems of these spaces, we also became uniquely acquainted with the factors that threaten their existence: gentrification, wage gaps, sexism, environmental disasters, gun violence, rising insurance premiums and political administrations working to annihilate queer people and their families.
Lesbian bar owners, like all leaders and entrepreneurs, are imperfect. There have been significant issues over the years at lesbian bars: employee harassment, racism, lack of accessibility, sexual assault and transphobia. All bar owners should be held accountable and should listen to their communities to evolve into safer and more equitable spaces. I also acknowledge my privilege: I am able-bodied, white, cis and from a family system that loves me for who I am. Not everyone has that.
Queer people, especially trans and bisexual people, are suffering from disproportionately high levels of depression, and our mental health system isn’t equipped to support them. Immunocompromised people and long COVID are real, and many of my friends are suffering to this day. The people with the least safety net are often the ones for whom a bar closing costs the most. And yet, as we’re seeing with Last Ditch, the queer community often lashes out at each other. It’s also the mainstream media taking the internal conflict and making a mockery out of it, distracting from the real possibility that this bar could close due to financial pressures. A bar that many people loved and needed is facing extinction. Perhaps it’s safer to dissent with one another than with the larger forces trying to eradicate us, but in doing so, we risk destroying the few spaces we have left.
Due to the constraints of purity politics — some in good faith, some not so much — lesbian bar owners, almost all of whom are queer women themselves, are forced to be everything for everyone, similarly to how women are forced to be everything for everyone. By asking these bars to uphold impossible standards — standards very few other third spaces are asked to consider — we all end up losing.
I want to move as a community toward dialogue, compassionate dissent and collaboration to make our spaces better with the goal of keeping them OPEN and thriving, rather than destroying them from the inside with expectations that are arguably unattainable.
While I have your attention — for this fleeting second of the news cycle — may I urge us to spearhead a way to keep these small businesses afloat without attacking our own community along the way? Bar owners are left with an impasse: They want to be community-centered, but they also have to make money to keep their doors open. Sometimes they might make business decisions that don’t work for everyone — and that’s partly because different patrons have different priorities and want different things — but these owners deserve the opportunity for productive dialogue. We have to work with them and with each other to keep our spaces open, to keep them growing.
Lesbian bars raised me into the queer woman I am today. One thing I think about as I reflect on the six years of work we’ve done to document these spaces is that shared, unspoken language I have with a stranger the moment we both walk into one of these bars: the nod, the ease, the not having to explain ourselves. I don’t want to lose that, and neither should you.
Celebrate the start of Pride month at the Queer Magic Dance Party at the Black Cat on Saturday, June 6. Doors open at 9 p.m.
There will be pole performances and demonstrations, a free photo booth with glitter bar, a queer vendor market, tarot readings by Skye Marinda Tarot, a drag performance by Sapphica, and dancing to a blend of smooth R&B, Afrobeats, hip-hop and pop by Slammer & Saba. Tickets are $20 at the door or $15 (plus fees) in advance, purchased here.
Bars & Parties
Here’s where to watch ‘RuPaul’s Drag Race’ with fellow fans
Entertainers TrevHER and Grey host event with live performance
Spark Social Events will host “Ru Paul’s Drag Race S18 Watch Party Hosted by Local Drag Queens” on Friday, Jan. 23 at 8 p.m.
Drag entertainers TrevHER and Grey will provide commentary and make live predictions on who’s staying and who’s going home. Stick around after the show for a live drag performance. The watch party will take place on a heated outdoor patio and cozy indoor space.
This event is free and more details are available on Eventbrite.
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