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Looking back on the hoopla

Black couples took pride in being first to wed in D.C.

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16 years ago

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Revs. Darlene Garner and Candy Holmes were married at the Human Rights Campaign headquarters on March 9. (Photo by Joe Tresh)

On the eve of this weekend’s Black Pride festivities, the Blade checked in with two of the first same-sex couples who wed here in March to find out how they’re doing now that the hoopla has subsided, how they’ve fared as gay or lesbian couples among their black friends and families and their thoughts on the importance of Black Pride.

Three of the first couples to wed in Washington on March 9, the first day it was legally possible, were Angelisa Young and Sinjoyla Townsend, Reggie Stanley and Rocky Galloway and Revs. Darlene Garner and Candy Holmes. All three couples exchanged vows and rings at a carefully orchestrated event at Human Rights Campaign headquarters. All three couples are black.

“We were all asked to identify couples we knew locally who were planning to seize the opportunity immediately and we all put feelers out,” says Ellen Kahn, HRC’s family project director.

Garner said she thinks it was a coincidence that all three couples are black, but says it was still significant.

“Washington, D.C. is known by some as a chocolate city, so it was great that the first couples to be married were African-American couples,” she said.

Stanley and Galloway, a couple for six years, said no one would have noticed if all the couples had been white and that although they planned to wed regardless, controversial remarks made by Council member Marion Barry, who’s black and represents D.C.’s predominantly black Ward 8, inspired them to get married as soon as the law would allow. Barry, who’d previously been supportive of gay rights, said last year after voting against a bill to recognize same-sex marriages performed elsewhere in D.C., that his Ward “don’t have but a handful of openly gay residents” and that the majority of his constituents are opposed to same-sex marriage.

“He was basically saying that black gay folks don’t exist in his ward so we thought it was important to be visible and present,” Stanley said. Though he and Galloway live in Ward 4, they said they felt it important to show Barry there are many black gay D.C. residents.

Garner and Holmes, who had dated off and on for 14 years, said they decided to wed immediately for several reasons, some practical, others symbolic. As ordained ministers in the Fellowship of Metropolitan Community Churches, a liberal, mostly gay Christian denomination, they felt it was important to make a public stand.

“We recognized in many ways our place as role models as both representative of the black community and the LGBT community locally,” Garner said. “So we were happy to take our stand as a legally married couple standing side by side through the struggles.”

Garner works full-time in ministry but Holmes ministers part-time while also holding a full-time government job. She said that was also a factor in their decision to wed at HRC.

“None of it was lost on us,” Holmes said. “Being a couple and being African American and being lesbian, and with me being a federal government worker and also clergy, that’s a lot and so there are a lot of voices and things we represent, so it’s something we took very seriously and I think that’s significant.”

Stanley knew some HRC leaders through his own LGBT activism work.

“HRC was very forward looking and they were really interested in showing all aspects of what marriage can look like both here and across the country,” he said. “They realized there would be national coverage so I think they realized it was important for this visual to be seen.”

Garner and Holmes initially planned to make themselves available on HRC’s behalf to help field press inquiries and counter the anti-gay marriage stances several local black clergy, such as Bishop Harry Jackson of Hope Christian Church, had taken.

“We were initially going to fly away somewhere and get married,” Garner said. “But when it became clear that we could get married here, they asked if we’d like to do it with them. It became kind of a collaboration.”

Was there any concern their special day would become a circus? Both couples said HRC handled the day so well, it didn’t feel that way.

“There really was no media barrage at all,” Galloway said.

The women agree.

“We were able to experience the typical giddiness of any engaged couple looking forward to their wedding,” Garner said. “HRC did a phenomenal job and our primary focus stayed on the fact that we were getting married. We did not take into consideration at all that the world might be watching.”

Garner and Holmes plan a religious ceremony during their denomination’s annual conference in Acapulco in June.

The couples met standing in line that morning to get their licenses. They had their ceremonies at HRC in the order they got their licenses.

“We all cried and applauded and supported one another,” Holmes said. “Then when one came back, the next couple marched in so we were all there together, then we had a joint reception.”

“It was lovely,” Garner said. “HRC converted one of their big meeting rooms into a wedding chapel and we were able to create the ceremony we wanted to have from processional to recessional, with music and presiders and everything just as we wanted.”

The couples — Young and Townsend did not respond to interview requests — said life has returned to normal after the barrage of media attention.

“Things are great,” Galloway said. “Just like with any wedding, there’s a lot of activity leading up to it, but we’re back to a normal life now.”

Both couples said they encountered zero negative feedback but were greeted with many cheers, applause and congratulations, both on the day itself and after.

“People have recognized me and stop me in the hall to congratulate me,” Holmes said. “It’s been wonderful.”

And both couples say Black Pride remains important. Some of the reasons why, they said, popped up during the marriage wars, with the Barry incident and elsewhere.

“We were more active with it in our single days than in later years,” Galloway said. “But it’s still important to show diversity among the gay community. It’s a wonderful weekend and continues to be a very important event.”

Garner and Holmes will be out of town this weekend but said they fully support Black Pride. Garner, one of the founders of the National Coalition of Black Lesbians and Gays, said misperceptions about black gays persist.

“There’s still this perception that all gay people are white and that all black people are straight and many people really cling to that myth,” she said. “So it’s especially important for black LGBT people to come out, be visible and speak out so we continue to break down the barriers that other people have constructed to keep us all segregated from each other.”

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Rehoboth Beach

SUNFESTIVAL takes center stage as Rehoboth Beach closes out summer

Labor Day Weekend bustling with events, including David Archuleta performance

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4 hours ago

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September 1, 2026

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David Archuleta headlines this year’s SUNFESTIVAL on Saturday in Rehoboth Beach. (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

Labor Day Weekend marks the unofficial end of summer in Rehoboth Beach, but there will be no shortage of LGBTQ events, with CAMP Rehoboth’s annual SUNFESTIVAL taking over town this weekend.

Thursday (9/3)

Get your Labor Day Weekend started early Thursday night with happy hour from 5-7 p.m. at Diego’s Bar & Nightclub, followed by Naughtee Bingo hosted by Magnolia Applebottom at 8:30 p.m.

After bingo, the party continues with Dancing at Diego’s from 9 p.m. to 1:30 a.m.

Aqua Bar & Grill will also kick off its Labor Day Weekend festivities Thursday with a DJ spinning from 9 p.m.-1 a.m.

Friday (9/4)

The weekend ramps up Friday night at Aqua, where DJ Matt Bailer will keep the dance floor moving from 9 p.m.-1 a.m.

Over at Diego’s, DJ Steve Sidewalk will then take over Diego’s for Freedom Friday from 9 p.m.-1:30 a.m.

Saturday (9/5)

The main event of the weekend arrives Saturday with the opening night of CAMP Rehoboth’s SUNFESTIVAL.

Billed as the ultimate party to close out the summer, SUNFESTIVAL has become one of Rehoboth’s signature Labor Day Weekend events. The annual celebration sells out each year, with proceeds benefiting CAMP Rehoboth.

Doors open at 6:30 p.m. with refreshments available at the cash bar while attendees are invited to socialize and find their seats.

Saturday night will feature local singer Ashley Williams as the opening performer, followed by headliner David Archuleta. The event will also feature a live auction.

Back across town Saturday, Aqua will continue its Labor Day Weekend DJ lineup from 9 p.m. to 1 a.m.

Diego’s will also have plenty happening, with ‘Splash Party’ hosted by Magnolia Applebottom at 5 p.m., followed by a Saturday Dance Party with Brett Oosterhaus from 9 p.m.- 1:30 a.m.

The Blue Moon hosts its popular Legends Show at 9 p.m. It’s an all-live singing show by the Blue Moon cast of celebrity impersonators.

Etienne Pilon has taken Rehoboth by storm this summer. Check out the talented singer/pianist at The Pines from 7-10 p.m.

Sunday (9/6)

Sunday’s SUNFESTIVAL event will shift the focus to the dance floor, with globally renowned DJs Robbie Leslie and James Anthony scheduled to perform. Doors open at 7 p.m., with dancing continuing until 1 a.m.

On Sunday, Aqua will throw its annual White Party, with DJs spinning from 9 p.m.-1 a.m. Guests are encouraged to dress in white for the holiday weekend celebration.

Diego’s will host its Sunday High T-Dance with Pamala Stanley at 5 p.m. Later that evening, DJ Tannr will be spinning at 9 p.m.

John Flynn is on the piano from 6-8 p.m. at the Blue Moon.

Monday (9/7)

The final day of Labor Day Weekend brings one last chance to hit the dance floor before summer officially winds down.

Aqua will close out its five-day Labor Day Weekend celebration with DJ Biff from 3-7 p.m.

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Maryland

Anne Arundel schools now need parent permission to call trans students by preferred names

Conservative groups challenged system’s policy

Published

5 hours ago

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September 1, 2026

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Anne Arundel County Public Schools has issued new internal guidance for students who ask to be addressed by gender-affirming names and pronouns. (Photo by Eric Thompson for the Baltimore Banner)

By JESSICA CALEFATI | Anne Arundel County Public Schools staff cannot use transgender students’ preferred names if their parents oppose it, according to an internal document reviewed by the Banner, a change that comes after conservative groups challenged the school system’s approach to gender identity.

Teachers union president Kristina Korona told members in an Aug. 20 email that the new guidance undermines district policy on acceptance and inclusivity and “will begin harming affected students immediately.”

Previously, the district didn’t require parental permission to use a high school student’s chosen name and pronouns corresponding to their gender identity, the internal document says. Now it does. The change comes as parents challenge the suburban school system’s gender identity policy and regulation in court and the Trump-Vance administration threatens the district’s funding.

The rest of this article can be found on the Baltimore Banner’s website.

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District of Columbia

‘People don’t see me. They see a trend’

New popularity of all things Asian warps view of multiple cultures

Published

8 hours ago

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September 1, 2026

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Lily Brugman (Photo courtesy of Lily Brugman)

As I was growing up, my parents often shared stories about how they were bullied when they were my age, just for being Asian. My mom is Cambodian and my dad is “Wasian,” Chinese and white. Students teased them for their looks, their homemade lunches, and treated their traditional holidays as jokes.

I once asked my mom when I was little if she could pack me dumpling leftovers for lunch. “Yes,” she said with a surprised look, adding, “I would have never wanted to bring dumplings to school when I was your age because I would always get bullied for them. I’m glad times have changed.” 

At the time, I was confused. Whenever I brought a homemade Asian dish to school for lunch, I was happy to hear intriguing and curious questions from the other kids. It felt good to have my meal be popular and different from the Lunchables everyone else had.

Though times have changed, racism still continues. It just has a new face. Today, social media pretends to flatter our cultures in an insincere way trying to gain popularity just for clicks. Think anything from K-pop to Japan’s surge in international tourism. Even Starbucks has added drinks with the flavor of ube yam, native to the Philippines, onto its menu.

I feel that now when people see me, they don’t see me, they see a trend. 

For years, Asian people have been portrayed as foreign or exotic. The new embrace of foods and fashion at first felt good. Asians have never been represented as much as they’ve deserved. 

But this new popularity warps what non-Asians see. Instead of the blunt and direct racism my parents faced, everything now is a gray area, more discreetly hidden behind some TikTok video. It actually normalizes racism and stereotypes.

Whitewashing my culture 

As a 15-year-old Asian American who lives in D.C., I’ve always been one of the few Asian kids in school; my high school today counts less than 2 percent of students as being of Asian descent. I remember always being called “that one Asian girl” or some slur a kid learned from their parents. Every time I search for something related to Asian culture, such as a recipe or maybe a holiday, it’s always the same thing: some white person whitewashing my culture.

Social media is the main culprit, of course. I realized this when I entered high school and got a phone and was introduced to the internet. That is when I realized how messed up the new stereotypes around Asians are. 

One pattern I started to notice was people wanting to be Asian just because it was popular. It was hurtful, patronizing, and annoying. They made assumptions about our race and then only found us “cool” because we were trending. How can people go from hating us or finding us weird, to then only liking us because we’re popular?

There was a trend going around on TikTok called “race change to another” or RCTA.  It is this trend of people manifesting certain physical traits to change their appearance in order to change races. According to journalist Emi Tran, writing then as an intern for NBC Digital, the trend started when a white woman wanted to be Japanese. The woman began posting TikTok videos of herself wishing for different features such as monolids. Tran wrote in that 2023 article that “the overwhelming majority of the RCTA community wants to be East Asian.”

People also look up to K-pop culture, idolizing the pop groups pulled together by big entertainment companies. Most people expect all Koreans to be K-pop fans. Korean friends are asked about K-pop all the time even though they are not into the South Korean music genre.

Although I am not South Korean — I am half Cambodian and Chinese — I still get asked, almost like I’m expected, “You’re really into this group, right?” or “Can you tell me how to pronounce this member’s name?”

I was asked even worse questions during COVID-19. Suddenly, discrimination and violence were increasing specifically toward Asians everywhere. Suddenly, almost everyone was blaming Chinese people for spreading and causing COVID-19.

I remember going to school for one of the last times before quarantine had started and hearing kids whisper, “Oh, she’s going to give us the Coronavirus.” President Donald Trump had publicly posted his opinions about the situation on social media, blaming China for the pandemic, even calling it the “Chinese Virus” or the “Wuhan Virus.” According to NPR, anti-Asian hate crimes in U.S. cities surged 149 percent that year.

Lily Brugman’s parents (Photo courtesy of Lily Brugman)

The topic of Asians in the media has always been complicated. One moment people can hate us for being weird and different and the next we’re suddenly popular and cool for the same reasons. 

I feel conflicted on whether I should feel happy that we’re being represented or angry that it’s all for the wrong reason and has the wrong effects.

Lily Brugman is a sophomore at Benjamin Banneker Academic High School, one of Youthcast Media Group’s journalism class partners. She worked with YMG volunteer and Professor Emerita in journalism at American University Amy Eisman on this piece.

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