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Queery: Don Michael Mendoza

The visionary behind a new Black Fox Lounge cabaret night answers 20 gay questions

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Don Michael Mendoza (Blade photo by Michael Key)

Spoken word performance and musical theater may seem like distant cousins at best to some, but not to Don Michael Mendoza. Sensing a gulf between the two performance worlds, he and friend Regie Cabico created a space for the two worlds to come together.

They co-host La-To-Do, a cabaret series that runs every Monday night at Black Fox Lounge from 8:30 to 10 p.m. It launched in January and, according to Mendoza, has been a hit.

“We’d done a show together last summer at the Fringe Festival and just started a conversation about how there’s really no cabaret culture in D.C.,” Mendoza says. “We wanted something more than just an open mic, where anyone can just go up there and it’s not always the best quality. We just found there is a lot of misunderstanding between the two worlds. Musical theater types think the spoken word people are just strange people who studied English and sit at home all day like Sylvia Plath and the spoken word people think the theater folks are just doing mass-produced stuff like ‘Wicked.’ We’ve found there’s a lot more to both worlds.”

Mendoza and Cabico, both gay, co-host the series and take turns performing. The show spotlights two guest entertainers each week as well, mostly volunteers whom the two co-hosts have vetted. They’re also hoping to make the event a hot networking spot for local artistic types.

“We’re still kind of figuring it out,” Mendoza says. “We’re not trying to change the world or anything. Just trying to provide some fun and entertainment on a Monday night where people can go there, be themselves, see good art and also perform.”

There’s a $10 cover to attend, which includes a drink. Visit the group on Facebook for more information.

Mendoza, a 23-year-old Pittsburgh native, came to Washington in 2006 to study at American University. He graduated with double majors — broadcast journalism and musical theater. He worked for the college in media relations after graduating but went to Vida Metropole on 15th and P about six weeks ago for a change of pace. He’d eventually like to do something full time in performance but is still figuring that out.

Mendoza is single and lives in Logan Circle. He enjoys working out, travel and theater in his free time. (Blade photos by Michael Key)

How long have you been out and who was the hardest person to tell?

I’ve been out since I was 20, so three years, and the hardest person to tell was my mother. Even though she always told me it would be OK if I ever were, I knew that it would still flip her world and image of me upside down.

Who’s your LGBT hero?

MSNBC’s Thomas Roberts because he’s the first news anchor to publicly come out in a world that usually masks LGBT people behind a straight news persona. His coming out was due to a tragic personal event, but he didn’t let it ruin his determination. He was not afraid to be who he is and strive for journalistic excellence at the same time, which got him to where he is today, and I hope to follow the same ethical and moral path in what I do.

What’s Washington’s best nightspot, past or present? 

Not to be biased, but I really love Black Fox Lounge because of the calm, jazzy atmosphere, good food and drinks and the friendly owners and staff.

Describe your dream wedding.

It will be a big wedding. I want my partner and I to be surrounded by everyone who matters most in our lives. I want it to be at a location in the countryside and it will be the definition of class. Everything would be tasteful and well thought out.

What non-LGBT issue are you most passionate about?

Representation for D.C. residents in Congress. I maintain my Pennsylvania license because I like voting in a state where my voice matters and until D.C. residents have full voting rights, I refuse to become a full resident of the District.

What historical outcome would you change?

The results of the 2000 presidential election.

What’s been the most memorable pop culture moment of your lifetime?

The tragedy of  9-11 because, like the JFK assassination was for my parents, I will always remember exactly where I was and what I was doing the moment I heard the news.

On what do you insist?

That the dishes are washed and the apartment is clean for the many friends I always have over for dinner parties.

What was your last Facebook post or Tweet?

“Smiling is an understatement for me these days. Ah, me. :)”

If your life were a book, what would the title be?

“I’ll be your fortune, cookie!”

If science discovered a way to change sexual orientation, what would you do?

I wouldn’t do it. It took me 20 years to figure it out what makes me happy! Why would I ever want to change it?

What do you believe in beyond the physical world? 

I believe that there is a God, but that all the religious tension and conflict stem out of people’s imposed beliefs on something that none of us really understand.

What’s your advice for LGBT movement leaders?

Keep on doing what you’re doing. Any and all progress is good.

What would you walk across hot coals for?

I like the soles of my feet, so I don’t think I would do it for anything.

What LGBT stereotype annoys you most?

That if you’re lesbian you have to be butch and if you’re a gay man you have to be feminine. Your sexual preference has nothing to do with the way you carry yourself.

What’s your favorite LGBT movie?

“The Weekend” because I think all gay men, single or in a relationship, need to watch it for the lessons it has to offer, especially in a city where finding a stable relationship is difficult to pursue.

What’s the most overrated social custom?

Playing hard to get when you start seeing someone. Just be honest about what you’re doing. It makes everything less complicated.

What trophy or prize do you most covet?

It’s not really a trophy or a prize, but I would like to be on the cover of GQ one day. I’ve enjoyed the magazine since I knew how to dress well, and to be featured in a fashion spread in that publication would be amazing!

What do you wish you’d known at 18?

That life after college brings so much unexpected crap and that nothing can ever prepare you for the joys and pains of adulthood no matter how much advice you receive ahead of time.

Why Washington?

It was always a second home to me since we moved to Pittsburgh when I was a toddler because we visited so often. I chose to come to college here and when it came to deciding on where to start my adult life, I couldn’t see any other option.

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Calendar

Calendar: March 27-April 2

LGBTQ events in the days to come

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Friday, March 27

Center Aging Monthly Luncheon With Yoga will be at 12 p.m. at the DC Center for the LGBT Community. Email Mac at [email protected] if you require ASL interpreter assistance, have any dietary restrictions, or questions about this event.

Go Gay DC will host “LGBTQ+ Happy Hour” at 7 p.m. at Dupont Italian Kitchen. This is a chance to relax, make new friends, and enjoy happy hour specials at this classic retro venue. Attendance is free and more details are available on Eventbrite

Trans and Genderqueer Game Night will be at 7 p.m. at the DC Center for the LGBT Community. This is a relaxing, laid-back evening of games and fun. All are welcome and there’ll be card and board games on hand. Feel free to bring your own games to share. For more details, visit the DC Center’s website

Trans Discussion Group will be at 7 p.m. on Zoom. This event is intended to provide an emotionally and physically safe space for trans people and those who may be questioning their gender identity/expression to join together in community and learn from one another. For more details, email [email protected]

Saturday, March 28

Go Gay DC will host “LGBTQ+ Community Brunch” at 11 a.m. at Freddie’s Beach Bar & Restaurant. This fun weekly event brings the DMV area LGBTQ+ community, including allies, together for delicious food and conversation.  Attendance is free and more details are available on Eventbrite.

The DC Center for the LGBT Community will host “Sunday Supper on Saturday” at 2 p.m. It’s more than just an event; it’s an opportunity to step away from the busyness of life and invest in something meaningful, and enjoy delicious food, genuine laughter, and conversations that spark connection and inspiration. For more details, visit the Center’s website

Black Lesbian Support Group will be at 1 p.m. on Zoom. This is a peer-led support group devoted to the joys and challenges of being a Black Lesbian. For more details, email [email protected]

Monday, March 30

“Center Aging: Monday Coffee Klatch” will be at 10 a.m. on Zoom. This is a social hour for older LGBTQ adults. Guests are encouraged to bring a beverage of choice. For more information, contact Adam ([email protected]).

“Tea Time! A Local DC Drag Comedy Show” will be at 3 p.m. at Spark Social. This is a live drag comedy show where drag legends TrevHER & Tiara Missou Sidora host spill all the tea in the DMV. This event is free and more details are available on Eventbrite

Tuesday, March 31

Visibili-TEA Party will be at 6 p.m. at Restoration Station. Guests are encouraged to come sip, celebrate, and shine together. This event is a Trans Day of Visibility celebration and a special collaboration between Auntie’s Home and Damien Ministries. This is a boozy tea party with intention and the dress code reflects the vibe. More details are available on Eventbrite

Wednesday, March 1

Job Club will be at 6 p.m. on Zoom upon request. This is a weekly job support program to help job entrants and seekers, including the long-term unemployed, improve self-confidence, motivation, resilience and productivity for effective job searches and networking — allowing participants to move away from being merely “applicants” toward being “candidates.” For more information, email [email protected] or visit thedccenter.org/careers.

Thursday, April 2

The DC Center’s Fresh Produce Program will be held all day at the DC Center for the LGBT Community. People will be informed on Wednesday at 5 p.m. if they are picked to receive a produce box. No proof of residency or income is required. For more information, email [email protected] or call 202-682-2245. 

Virtual Yoga Class will be at 7 p.m. on Zoom. This free weekly class is a combination of yoga, breathwork and meditation that allows LGBTQ+ community members to continue their healing journey with somatic and mindfulness practices. For more details, visit the DC Center’s website.  

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Out & About

Celebrate cherry blossoms the drag way

Unconventional Diner hosts bingo party

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The cherry blossoms are here. Celebrate at a unique event hosted by Unconventional Diner. (Washington Blade photo by Michael K. Lavers)

Unconventional Diner will host “Cherry Blossom Drag Bingo Party” on Friday, April 3, at 6:30 p.m.

Guests will be treated to an unforgettable night of drag performances, bingo, food and drink and prizes. Highlights of the evening include themed cocktails, drag performances and bingo prizes.

Tickets can be secured via Resy.

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Sports

New IOC policy bans trans women from Olympics

New regulation to be in effect at 2028 summer games in Los Angeles

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(Photo by Greg Martin; courtesy IOC)

The International Olympic Committee on Thursday announced it will not allow transgender women from competing in female events at the Olympics.

“For all disciplines on the Sports Program of an IOC event, including individual and team sports, eligibility for any Female Category is limited to biological females,” reads the new policy.

The policy states “eligibility for the Female Category is to be determined in the first instance by SRY Gene screening to detect the absence or presence of the SRY Gene.”

“On the basis of the scientific evidence, the IOC considers that the SRY (sex-determining Region Y) Gene is fixed throughout life and represents highly accurate evidence that an athlete has experienced or will experience male sex development,” it reads. “Furthermore, the IOC considers that SRY Gene screening via saliva, cheek swab or blood sample is unintrusive compared to other possible methods. Athletes who screen negative for the SRY gene permanently satisfy this policy’s eligibility criteria for competition in the Female Category.”

The policy states the test “will be a once-in-a-lifetime test” unless “there is reason to believe a negative reading is in error.”

The new regulation will be in place for the 2028 Summer Olympics in Los Angeles.

“I understand that this a very sensitive topic,” said IOC President Kirsty Coventry on Thursday in a video. “As a former athlete, I passionately believe in the rights of all Olympians to take part in fair competition.”

“The policy that we have announced is based on science and it has been led by medical experts with the best interests of athletes at its heart. The scientific evidence is very clear: male chromosomes give performance advances in sport that rely on strength, power, or endurance,” she added. “At the Olympic Games, even the smallest margins can be the difference between victory and defeat. So, it is absolutely clear that it would not be fair for biological males to compete in the female category. In addition, in some sports it would simply not be safe.”

(Video courtesy of the IOC)

Laurel Hubbard, a weightlifter from New Zealand, in 2021 became the first trans woman to compete at the Olympics.

Imane Khelif, an Algerian boxer, won a gold medal at the 2024 Summer Olympics in Paris. Khelif later sued JK Rowling and Elon Musk for cyberstalking after they questioned her gender identity.

Ellis Lundholm, a mogul skier from Sweden, this year became the first openly trans athlete to compete in any Winter Olympics when he participated in Milan Cortina Winter Olympics in Italy.

President Donald Trump in February 2025 issued an executive order that bans trans women and girls from female sports teams in the U.S.

The U.S. Olympic and Paralympic Committee last July banned trans women from competing in female sporting events. Republican lawmakers have demanded the IOC ban trans athletes from women’s athletic competitions.

“I’m grateful the Olympics finally embraced the common sense policy that women’s sports are for women, not for men,” said U.S. Sen. Tom Cotton (R-Ark.) on X.

An IOC spokesperson on Thursday referred the Washington Blade to the press release that announced the new policy.

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