Arts & Entertainment
Savage views
Gay advice columnist has new MTV sex show

Dan Savage chats with a young gay University of Maryland student about his sex life in an early episode of ‘Savage U,’ a new MTV sex advice show. (Photo courtesy MTV)
The Blade caught up with Dan Savage last week — he’s plugging his new MTV show “Savage U” (Tuesdays at 11 p.m.) and took a few minutes out of a dizzying schedule of writing advice columns, editing newspapers, hosting the new show and being an anti-bullying advocate — in addition to being a family man — to riff on this and that.
BLADE: There’ve been so many cable sex advice shows over the years — the old MSNBC shows, Sue Johanson and even MTV’s own “Loveline” with Dr. Drew and Adam for those of us old enough to remember it. What can yours add that hasn’t been done before or does every generation need its own sex advice show?
SAVAGE: Hopefully what I bring to it is what I bring to “Savage Love” (his syndicated advice columnist which runs locally in City Paper) — a sex-positive, kink-positive take and one that embraces pleasure as a legitimate goal that celebrates people’s desire. A lot of what I’ve seen is really kind of sex negative that starts first with no, then with maybe. “Savage Love” works its way from maybe to yes to yes, definitely … there’s a school of thinking that says, “Oh my God, you can’t have sex if there’s any risk,” but there’s risk in all kinds of things. What needs to be discussed is how to mitigate the risk as much as possible but then at a certain point yes, you have a right to go for it. You also have to be able to shoulder the consequences. … There’s always a risk but you don’t hear people advocating against sky diving or snowboarding. There’s a whole bunch of people who will drop dead today from eating chicken salad and yeah, you’d be an idiot to leave it out in the sun for three days and then eat it, so we can apply that same brainy shit to sex.
BLADE: How do you get these college students to go on the air and say, “I have herpes” or “I’m a virgin.” Are you involved in finding them or do producers do that?
SAVAGE: There are producers who do that ahead of time. I need to be hearing about their stories for the first time when we film, so there are layers of producers who vet them ahead of time. There are a lot of old farts like me who think YouTube and Facebook and Twitter and all that is something new and always will be, but for somebody who’s 19 and basically grew up with this stuff, they have different attitudes about privacy … we’ve started some taping and then stopped ….
BLADE: Why? What would be an example of someone whose story shouldn’t be aired?
SAVAGE: This was someone who obviously had a deeper-seated medical issue that became evident on camera and we felt talking about the issue would have unfairly outed the person and would have been kind of dishonest so we unplugged the mics … we try to be honest and honor the kids without exploiting anyone.
BLADE: You seem so much nicer on the show than in your column where you often seem very exasperated and caustic. Why?
SAVAGE: Well I told someone in the premiere episode they were an idiot so I’m a little caustic here and there on the show but I think in the column, some of it is having to boil so much down to fit the space that it can make me seem more caustic and sarcastic than I am. I’ve had people say for the podcast I seem so much nicer but that’s the benefit of being able to run my mouth. It’s a different venue … also on the show, I’m a lot more willing to cut these kids some slack because they’re 18. I’m a lot more patient with an 18-year-old fuck up than I am with a 38-year-old fuck up. It’s like of course you’re fucked up when you’re 18 because 18 is fucked up anyway.
BLADE: Are you of the school of thought that a Santorum nomination would have been better for Obama than a Romney nomination or does any Santorum success cause you to shudder?
SAVAGE: I agree with Bill Maher on that — I don’t trust the American people enough to have (had) Santorum be the nominee. This is a country that elected Bush, at least once, he stole it the first time, but I would take Romney over Santorum though they’re two bars set so low they’re basically on the floor.
BLADE: What is the most pressing sex question you see from gay men?
SAVAGE: Male fear of intimacy is real and so it’s doubled with gay men. That comes up a lot. I also hear from young gay guys, like 15, 16, 17, 18 who say there’s no one for them to date. Their straight peers have been dating since the middle school dances but they’ve been alone or they say there are only older gay guys to date and I tell them dating starts later a lot of times for us so they don’t have a lot of options. Also monogamy comes up a lot. Gay guys are also guys so often it becomes an issue of non-monogamous relationships that are grounded in trust and disclosure rather than lying and cheating and running around.
BLADE: How do you have time to add a show to your busy schedule?
SAVAGE: Terry is a stay-at-home dad — that hetero-normative model of having a stay-at-home wife, that shit is awesome if you can afford it. We’re lucky in that regard.
Out & About
‘How We Survived’ panel set for March 25
‘Living History’ discussion to be held at Spark Social
Friends of Dorothy Cafe will host “Part One, Living History: How We Survived,” will take place on Wednesday, March 25 at 7:30 p.m. at Spark Social House.
This event will be moderated by Abby Stuckrath, host of the “Queering the District” podcast. Panelists include: Earline Budd, activist, trans rights advocate; TJ Flavell of Go Gay DC; DC LGBTQ+ Center Board Member David Bissette; and Alexa Rodriguez, founder and executive director, Trans-Latinx DMV.
This event is part of a four-part storytelling series called “Living History,” which centers LGBTQ elders, activists, artists, and icons sharing their lived experiences and reflections with younger generations. The conversations explore themes like resilience, community organizing, chosen family, and the lessons earlier generations hope today’s LGBTQ+ and ally communities will carry forward.
Saturday, March 21
Go Gay DC will host “LGBTQ+ Community Brunch” at 11 a.m. at Freddie’s Beach Bar & Restaurant. This fun weekly event brings the DMV area LGBTQ+ community, including allies, together for delicious food and conversation. Attendance is free and more details are available on Eventbrite.
The DC Center for the LGBT Community will host “Sunday Supper on Saturday” at 2 p.m. It’s more than just an event; it’s an opportunity to step away from the busyness of life and invest in something meaningful, and enjoy delicious food, genuine laughter, and conversations that spark connection and inspiration. For more details, visit the Center’s website.
Sunday, March 22
LGBTQ+ Community Coffee and Conversation will be at 12 p.m. at As You Are. This event is for people looking to make more friends and meaningful connections in the LGBTQ community. Attendance is free and more details are available on Eventbrite.
Monday, March 23
Center Aging: Monday Coffee Klatch” will be at 10 a.m. on Zoom. This is a social hour for older LGBTQ+ adults. Guests are encouraged to bring a beverage of choice. For more information, contact Adam ([email protected]).
Queer Book Club will be at 7 p.m. on Zoom. The Queer Book Club meets on the fourth Monday of the month to discuss queer books by queer authors. For more details, visit the DC Center’s website.
Tuesday, March 24
Coming Out Discussion Group will be at 7 p.m. on Zoom. This is a safe space to share experiences about coming out and discuss topics as it relates to doing so — by sharing struggles and victories the group allows those newly coming out and who have been out for a while to learn from others. For more details, visit the group’s Facebook.
Genderqueer DC will be at 7 p.m. on Zoom. This is a support group for people who identify outside of the gender binary, whether you’re bigender, agender, genderfluid, or just know that you’re not 100% cis. For more details, visit www.genderqueerdc.org or Facebook.
Wednesday, March 25
Job Club will be at 6 p.m. on Zoom upon request. This is a weekly job support program to help job entrants and seekers, including the long-term unemployed, improve self-confidence, motivation, resilience and productivity for effective job searches and networking — allowing participants to move away from being merely “applicants” toward being “candidates.” For more information, email [email protected] or visit www.thedccenter.org/careers.
Thursday, March 26
The DC Center’s Fresh Produce Program will be held all day at the DC Center for the LGBT Community. People will be informed on Wednesday at 5 p.m. if they are picked to receive a produce box. No proof of residency or income is required. For more information, email [email protected] or call 202-682-2245.
Virtual Yoga Class will be at 7 p.m. on Zoom. This free weekly class is a combination of yoga, breath work and meditation that allows LGBTQ+ community members to continue their healing journey with somatic and mindfulness practices. For more details, visit the DC Center’s website.
Celebrity News
Housewives take Capitol Hill by storm
Bravolebrities promote expanded PrEP access, HIV/AIDS funding
Real Housewives from across the country took over Capitol Hill on Wednesdayto advocate for expanded PrEP access and to push for continued — if not increased — funding for HIV/AIDS research.
The event brought together Housewives from multiple franchises, including NeNe Leakes and Phaedra Parks from Atlanta; Candiace Dillard Bassett from Potomac; Erika Jayne from Beverly Hills; Luann de Lesseps from New York; Melissa Gorga from New Jersey; and Marysol Patton from Miami, alongside Tristan Schukraft, founder and CEO of MISTR, an online platform that connects people to HIV prevention tools and care.
MISTR, the nation’s largest telehealth platform for sexual health, brought stars from across Bravo’s Real Housewives franchise to Washington for Housewives on the Hill, a day of advocacy focused on expanding access to HIV prevention and treatment. During the event, the Housewives shared personal stories on how HIV has impacted their lives and the ongoing impact of HIV across communities in the U.S.
PrEP, the medication MISTR helps get out to the public, is a medication that can, if taken properly, reduce the risk of contracting HIV through sex by up to 99 percent, according to public health officials. Advocates say wider access to the medication — including through insurance coverage and telehealth services — is critical to reducing new HIV infections across the United States.
The day began with a panel in the ornate Kennedy Caucus Room of the Russell Senate Office Building, where the Housewives shared personal stories about the importance of HIV prevention.
Many of the Housewives offered personal accounts of why HIV prevention matters to them.
Bassett drew on her experience under the Obama-Biden administration in public affairs and spoke about how policy decisions can directly impact marginalized communities.
“Before my career in entertainment, I actually worked in the White House Offices of Public Engagement and Intergovernmental Affairs, and part of my job was to liaise between the White House and communities,” Bassett shared to the crowded room. “And so I got to see firsthand the effect that federal policy could have on those communities and the outcomes that could come out of that work, particularly marginalized communities.”
She then looked toward her fellow Housewives, pointing out that the issue does not affect all communities equally, with minority groups disproportionately impacted by HIV.
“And just what Phaedra said about this disease and HIV and AIDS, and how it disproportionately affects so many, particularly Black people — we make up, as you said, 12 percent of the population, and we are 40 percent of those affected by HIV. Just let that sink in. Let the walls hear that … It’s so important that we have these conversations, not just in forums like this, but around your kitchen tables, in your group chats, on the street — wherever we are. We need to be talking about what we can be doing as communities and as individuals to combat HIV and AIDS.”
After the panel, the group moved to the Lincoln Room, part of the Majority Whip’s office suite, where they continued conversations with lawmakers and staff about access to care, education, and prevention.
Bassett, fresh out of “The Traitors” castle, emphasized the need to humanize heavy topics like HIV.
“While you may not have anyone in your direct family affected by HIV, six degrees of separation — everyone knows someone who has been affected,” Bassett told the Washington Blade. “If you can tie the nature of dealing with illness back to families, they have to hopefully see themselves in it. People want community. Social media has done a good job connecting us in that way.”
Bassett encouraged attendees to be brave, to educate themselves about preventive measures, and to take advantage of telemedicine through platforms like MISTR.
“Step out and have faith that the people who are supposed to bind you are supposed to help you,” she added.
Schukraft said the turnout reflected the public’s strong interest in HIV prevention and awareness.
“Over 400 people attended the panel, and we had to turn people away,” Schukraft told the Blade. “These are real communities across the country, sharing stories and emphasizing the importance of HIV prevention and long-term care. Telemedicine is key — it helps rural and urban communities, reduces stigma, and allows people to consult doctors from home. The more honest you are with the doctor, the better care you get.”
For Leakes, using her iconic voice to educate others was a natural extension of her platform.
“Talking about sex, HIV, those topics can be embarrassing,” she admitted. “Atlanta has a high HIV rate, particularly in the Black and gay communities. Confidence to speak and educate my community feels good. The number of people that came out to support us this morning — some were turned away — was amazing. It’s important to make the conversation fun and approachable for the younger generation.”
“Atlanta has a high HIV rate, particularly in the Black and gay communities,” Leakes added to the Blade. “The South, Miami, Houston — these areas remain high, and ignorance contributes. Confidence to speak and educate my community feels good.”
Parks echoed the sentiment, highlighting both the challenges and the resilience of the LGBTQ community.
“Many people need this incentive and don’t have a voice. Medical care is expensive and inaccessible for some, so MISTR provides resources and telemedicine access to PrEP,” Parks said. “The LGBTQ+ community fights battles daily; sometimes they lose, but they keep going. Housewives show that women can stay the course.”
The lawyer, who also teased some new and upcoming projects, highlighted Atlanta’s return to Bravo on April 5 with “two new peaches in the house,” which she assured would be must-see TV. She also mentioned her upcoming role in “Dancing with the Stars.”
Patton said that the atmosphere on the Hill was very welcoming (more so than Andy Cohen’s couch at reunion time, one might assume.) She also noted that by working with Schukraft and MISTR, she was able to see firsthand how technology and telehealth can remove barriers to care.
“Everyone’s been so friendly, enthusiastic, and encouraging,” said Patton. “I was impressed with MISTR — how they get medication to people who can’t see a doctor or don’t have funds. Telehealth and medication delivery reduce stigma and help prevent the spread of HIV. Access needs to be available for prevention to work.”
Jayne gave the Blade a more personal reflection, particularly touching on how much treatment has changed since the disease began in the 1980s.
“Growing up in the late ‘80s and early ‘90s, an HIV diagnosis meant death,” she said. “The stigma was terrible, and I lost many people in the arts community. Now, people live longer, but the disease remains. I think it’s important to use whatever influence I have to educate.”
U.S. Sen. Tammy Baldwin (D-Wis.), the first openly lesbian senator who has long advocated for HIV research and prevention, said the Housewives’ visit underscored the importance of public awareness and celebrity influence in the fight against HIV.
“When I first got involved, AIDS was a death sentence — no treatment, no cure. Now we know so much more due to public education and health research. Advocacy spreads awareness that PrEP exists, prevents transmission, and funds research toward a cure. Bipartisan pressure is needed to keep funding going.”
Baldwin continued, explaining that this is not a one-and-done effort. To end the epidemic, all of Congress must come together to fight a virus that does not recognize political party, class, sexuality, or gender.
“We have the end of this epidemic within our reach, but we have to keep focused on it. We have to keep investing. That’s why what we’re doing today, and why … the Real Housewives coming to Capitol Hill with their celebrity and pressing this topic is so important because we have seen this administration, the Trump administration, propose cuts globally, drastic cuts globally, to the fight against AIDS, but also locally. I’m in a position as a member of the Senate Appropriations Committee to fight back, to actually fund programs that they’re trying to cut, but that’s not a given, and we need to really keep the pressure up on a bipartisan basis to keep that funding going.”
-
District of Columbia5 days agoMan charged with carjacking, kidnapping after having sex in D.C. park pleads guilty
-
District of Columbia5 days agoD.C. journalist, video producer Sean Bartel dies at 48
-
National4 days ago‘They took him!’ Gay married couple torn apart by ICE
-
Opinions5 days agoMeet the Scandals, D.C.’s LGBT rugby team
