Arts & Entertainment
Sympathetic siblings
Memoir chronicles journey through a transition
Cover to ‘My Brother My Sister.’ (Image courtesy of Viking)
‘My Brother My Sister’
By Molly Haskell
Viking
$26.95
213 pages
Mom always said you were two of a kind.
You and your favorite sibling: yin and yang, two halves of a whole. A lot of film was spent documenting your lives. A lot of memories are shared when you get together.
Once upon a time, you knew exactly what your sib was thinking — or did you? Read the new book “My Brother My Sister” by Molly Haskell, and you might wonder.
Growing up in Richmond , Va., in the post-WWII years, Molly Haskell, her brother Chevey and their friends enjoyed the same clubs, schools, cotillions and churches. She remembers a childhood of privilege and happiness.
Her brother remembers sneaking up to Haskell’s closet to try on her clothes.
Of course, that was unknown to Haskell until years later, when Chevey came to her in New York and told her that he’d decided to act on something that had vexed him for decades: nervously, he explained that he had gender dysphoria. He’d been on hormones for months. Years ago, he’d thought of himself as “Ellen,” the woman he knew he was inside.
It was something that Haskell never saw coming.
Chevey had been married twice. His first wife knew of his feelings, as did his second wife, but the latter was struggling with acceptance. So, in fact, was Haskell, though she was also curious to know the particulars.
When did Chevey know? (At age 7). How did he decide to do this? (The urge was so strong that he could do nothing else). Why did he wait 50-some years to transition? (Many reasons, including family). He likened his gender to a “birth defect.” It was time to make things right.
As Chevey became Ellen, Haskell mourned the loss of her brother. When Ellen informed the rest of the family of her news, Haskell kept “waiting for the sky to fall” but nothing happened. Yes, there were slips, gaffes, hurts and a few surprising revelations, but the world didn’t end.
“Lucky for me,” says Haskell, “my newly minted sister is still the magnificent human being my brother was.”
There’s an awful lot of “poor-me”-ing in the beginning of “My Brother My Sister;” a lot of hand-wringing from author Molly Haskell, and too much fretting about how her brother’s transformation would affect her. While some readers might imagine how they’d feel in the same situation, it’s pretty tedious, angst-ridden reading.
Thankfully, the book gets better.
Once Haskell’s story gets around to acceptance, readers are treated to a more relaxing read, one of discovery (both on Haskell’s part, and that of her sister), devotion, and of delight. That’s the raison d’etre of this book. What you’ll find from there to the end is why you’d want to read this book in the first place.
Aside from a bumpy beginning and some surgery descriptions that are TMI-overload, “My Brother My Sister” is ultimately satisfying, especially for those who may be going through these same issues.
Cupid’s Undie Run, an annual fundraiser for neurofibromatosis (NF) research, was held at Union Stage and at The Wharf DC on Saturday, Feb. 21.
(Washington Blade photos by Michael Key)
Sweat DC is officially expanding to Shaw, opening a new location at 1818 7th St., N.W., on Saturday, March 28 — and they’re kicking things off with a high-energy, community-first launch event.
To celebrate, Sweat DC is hosting Sweat Fest, a free community workout and social on Saturday, March 14, at 10 a.m. at the historic Howard Theatre. The event features a group fitness class, live DJ, local food and wellness partners, and a mission-driven partnership with the Open Goal Project, which works to expand access to youth soccer for players from marginalized communities.
For more details, visit Sweat DC’s website and reserve a spot on Eventbrite.
Friday, Feb. 20
Center Aging Monthly Luncheon with Yoga will be at noon at the D.C. LGBTQ+ Community Center. Email Mac at [email protected] if you require ASL interpreter assistance, have any dietary restrictions, or questions about this event.
Trans and Genderqueer Game Night will be at 7 p.m. at the D.C. Center. This will be a relaxing, laid-back evening of games and fun. All are welcome! We’ll have card and board games on hand. Feel free to bring your own games to share. For more details, visit the Center’s website.
Go Gay DC will host “First Friday LGBTQ+ Community Social” at 7 p.m. at Hotel Zena. This is a chance to relax, make new friends, and enjoy happy hour specials at this classic retro venue. Attendance is free and more details are available on Eventbrite.
Saturday, Feb. 21
Go Gay DC will host “LGBTQ+ Community Brunch” at 11 a.m. at Freddie’s Beach Bar & Restaurant. This fun weekly event brings the DMV area LGBTQ community, including allies, together for delicious food and conversation. Attendance is free and more details are available on Eventbrite.
LGBTQ People of Color will be at 7 p.m. on Zoom. This peer support group is an outlet for LGBTQ People of Color to come together and talk about anything affecting them in a space that strives to be safe and judgement free. There are all sorts of activities like watching movies, poetry events, storytelling, and just hanging out with others. For more information and events, visit thedccenter.org/poc or facebook.com/centerpoc.
Sunday, Feb. 22
Queer Talk DC will host “The Black Gay Flea Market” at 1 p.m. at Doubles in Petworth. There will be more than 15 Black queer vendors from all over the DMV in one spot. The event’s organizers have reserved the large back patio for all vendors, and the speak easy for bar service, which will be serving curated cocktails made just for the event (cash bar.) DJ Fay and DJ Jam 2x will be spinning the entire event. For more details, visit Eventbrite.
Monday, Feb. 23
“Center Aging: Monday Coffee Klatch” will be at 10 a.m. on Zoom. This is a social hour for older LGBTQ adults. Guests are encouraged to bring a beverage of choice. For more information, contact Adam at [email protected].
Tuesday, Feb. 24
Coming Out Discussion Group will be at 7 p.m. on Zoom. This is a safe space to share experiences about coming out and discuss topics as it relates to doing so — by sharing struggles and victories the group allows those newly coming out and who have been out for a while to learn from others. For more details, visit the group’s Facebook.
Genderqueer DC will be at 7 p.m. on Zoom. This is a support group for people who identify outside of the gender binary, whether you’re bigender, agender, genderfluid, or just know that you’re not 100 percent cis. For more details, visit genderqueerdc.org or Facebook.
Wednesday, Feb. 25
Job Club will be at 6 p.m. on Zoom upon request. This is a weekly job support program to help job entrants and seekers, including the long-term unemployed, improve self-confidence, motivation, resilience and productivity for effective job searches and networking — allowing participants to move away from being merely “applicants” toward being “candidates.” For more information, email [email protected] or visit thedccenter.org/careers.
Asexual and Aromantic Group will meet at 7 p.m. on Zoom. This is a space where people who are questioning this aspect of their identity or those who identify as asexual and/or aromantic can come together, share stories and experiences, and discuss various topics. For more details, email [email protected].
Thursday, Feb. 26
The DC Center’s Fresh Produce Program will be held all day at the DC Center. To be more fair with who is receiving boxes, the program is moving to a lottery system. People will be informed on Wednesday at 5 p.m. if they are picked to receive a produce box. No proof of residency or income is required. For more information, email [email protected] or call 202-682-2245.
Virtual Yoga Class will be at 7 p.m. on Zoom. This free weekly class is a combination of yoga, breathwork and meditation that allows LGBTQ community members to continue their healing journey with somatic and mindfulness practices. For more details, visit the DC Center’s website.
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