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Queery: Jeffrey Johnson

20 questions for the artistic director of Ganymede Arts

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Jeffrey Johnson (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

Actor Jeffrey Johnson has taken the proverbial road less travelled and though it brings inevitable challenges, he’s found a way to make it work. As artistic director of Ganymede Arts, Johnson wears many different hats (and wigs). He’s directing “Naked Boys Singing,” the company’s current show, which runs through mid-June at Playbill Cafe (ganymedearts.org), he performs as his drag alter ego Special Agent Galactica at ACKC Cocoa Bar, recreates Edith Beale’s nightclub act in “After the Garden” at various venues here and in New York and more.

“We’re always looking for funds and that’s stressful but at the same time I’m extremely happy and extremely fulfilled,” the 42-year-old Horseheads, N.Y., native says. “So I guess I just define success differently than a lot of people do. For me it’s not about big vacations here and there or a hefty paycheck. To me success is doing what I love.”

Growing up as an only child he was a swimmer and a loner. “I’ve always kind of been that way,” he says. “I basically spent my life face down in a pool or up in my room wearing out records. I played ‘Evita’ more times than Patti LuPone but in my bedroom.”

He went to college in South Carolina, eventually dropped out but stayed there 11 years working on various theatrical endeavors. He came to Washington 13 years ago and took over Ganymede (formerly the Actors’ Theatre of Washington) in 2003. He’s been in two long-term relationships but has been single for several years. Johnson lives in Adams Morgan and enjoys low-key activities such as hanging out with his dog, Cleteus, and watching movies in his down time.

How long have you been out and who was the hardest person to tell?
Twenty-four years. My Dad. It wasn’t so much that it was hard to tell him as it was just a matter of waiting for the right time.

Who’s your gay hero?
I’m not sure I have a specific, “gay” hero but over these last few years I have had the honor of meeting and becoming friends with some truly influential LGBT people (Holly Woodlawn, Charles Busch, Justin Bond, Del Shores) and what I find is they have made a very successful life for themselves being who they are and celebrating it. To me that’s heroic.

What’s Washington’s best nightspot, past or present?
That’s putting me on the spot! No comment! (Though many of them have been very supportive of me and Ganymede Arts!)

What’s your dream gay wedding?
You know, I’m still not used to the idea of getting married, though I’m stoked we can! I’m not sure if I am a “marrying” kind of person. I am a hopeless romantic though, so I guess the right guy could influence that fairly easily. I never really thought about it but for shits and giggles let’s say on a beautiful beach somewhere.

What non-gay issue are you most passionate about?
The imbalance of arts funding. I mean, there is so little of it and what there is is channeled to the organizations who are not in as great a need of it.

What historical outcome would you change?
I don’t know. I don’t really think that way. My philosophy on growing up is that things happen for a reason and lessons are learned — you move on stronger and wiser. I suppose I think that way about history as well. Many horrific things have happened but in changing those outcomes what’s to say it wouldn’t happen just at another time? If I have to have an answer I guess I could do without the movie “Yentl” ever being made.

What’s been the most memorable pop culture moment of your lifetime?
I guess three things I can remember having some kind of impact on me are Elvis’ death, the Challenger explosion and Reagan getting shot.

On what do you insist?
Fairness

What was your last Facebook post or Tweet?
That I just found out a co-worker’s sister invented cinnamon toast. (Or at least they think she did.)

If your life were a book, what would the title be?
How many volumes are we talking?

If science discovered a way to change sexual orientation, what would you do?
Nothing.

What do you believe in beyond the physical world?
That’s something I think about a lot. I don’t believe in organized religion, that’s for sure. However, I do understand that life holds much that is unanswerable. Unexplainable. And that’s OK, in fact for me it seems right. There is a power in not knowing. The magic that lies in the possibility is far more beautiful and empowering than some fabled answer.

What’s your advice for LGBT movement leaders?
History and acceptance. Today’s generation of LGBTers seem to take their lives and freedoms for granted. When walking down the street holding hands, let’s say, I don’t think they (or even my generation for that matter) take a moment to realize the pain, suffering and strength it took previous generations to get us to this point. Knowledge of our own history is very important. I believe there would be less infighting and more acceptance and compassion toward each other if we see ourselves and those around us in our own community as fellow travelers on the same journey. A community that shares a common story.

What would you walk across hot coals for?
Most anything that I am passionate about.

What gay stereotype annoys you most?
Superficial, materialistic.

What’s your favorite gay movie?
Well “Maurice” had a huge impact on me when that came out. Though I also have to put “The Hunger” into the fave gay movie category as well for “that scene.”

What’s the most overrated social custom?
Black Friday

What trophy or prize do you most covet?
My first paycheck as a full-time employee of Ganymede Arts and not just a glorified volunteer with a stipend. (We’re working hard on that!)

What do you wish you’d known at 18?
You know I guess I have always accepted that life teaches you what you need to know when you are ready to know it. At 18 there is still so much fantasy and vitality to life that knowing more than that would be a pity. We grow up too quickly so why rush it?

Why Washington?
At the time I moved here there were many reasons. I’m still here after 13 years because it has been very good to me. Washington has given me many opportunities and taught me many lessons. I’m attached to it and so far that’s a good thing.

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Advice

I make more money than my partner and getting resentful

She’s taking advantage of a joint credit card

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(Photo by Nik_Sorokin/Bigstock)

Hi Michael,

I make a fair amount more money than my girlfriend does and I’m happy to contribute more to our life (we are both in our 20s and living together).

But Meg doesn’t seem to care how much money she spends and then asks me to front her when she’s running low. She seldom pays me back. 

Last week she had a big night on the town with her best friend (formerly her girlfriend) for the friend’s 30th birthday. She hired a limo and spent a lot on drinks and dinner. She put the entire night on our joint card which we are only supposed to use for shared household expenses, because she had maxed out her own card. Of course I will wind up paying for it. (And I am slightly jealous. Why am I paying for her evening out with her former GF?)

I pay for all sorts of stuff all the time because her credit card gets too big for her budget. 

And somehow I almost never end up getting her share of the rent, which is already prorated according to our incomes.

She always tells me she’ll pay me back but her tab pretty much just keeps getting bigger.

If I bring this up with her, she tells me I am cheap because I make a lot and we’re a couple; and if she made more, she’d have no problem sharing everything with me. 

Am I just being ungenerous? I don’t know. Sometimes I think she’s an ingrate, but then I think if you’re in love, you shouldn’t be thinking of money, just taking care of the person you love.

Also, although I make more than she does, I’m by no means rich. I have my own student loans, and paying for the bulk of our lifestyle stretches me thin some months.

Michael replies:

For starters: Most couples must contend with some version of your struggle with Meg, because most couples have some income disparity.

Do you maintain a lifestyle that both of you can afford? That works for some relationships where the lower earner may not want to feel indebted to the partner who makes more. Other couples work out a system where they pay for expenses in proportion to their income. And in some instances, the higher earner may have a “what’s mine is yours” philosophy and the lower earner is OK with that.

What matters is that both partners come to a mutual agreement and are comfortable with the arrangement. In other words, they collaborate.

That’s not the case with you and Meg. You sound resentful, angry, and feeling like Meg is taking advantage of you.  

It’s great to be generous in your relationship, but it’s also important to have a boundary when you think it’s important to have a boundary. Yet you’re continuing to subsidize Meg even when you have trouble making your own ends meet. 

Important question: Have you told Meg that you’re stretched thin some months? If not, I’d be curious as to how you’ve made that decision. If so, I’d be curious as to Meg’s response.

If you don’t want to keep serving as Meg’s piggy bank, what is stopping you?  

There’s a great saying in psychotherapy: If it’s hysterical, it’s historical. Meaning, our “big” actions and reactions have their roots in our history.

Think about your life history: How does it make sense that you are acting like a powerless victim?  

Is not having a boundary an old and familiar dynamic for you? Were there important players in your life—for example, your parents—who insisted it was their way or the highway?  Or perhaps you learned as a kid that if you ever said “no” to your friends, there’d be negative consequences?

Now ask yourself what might be keeping you stuck in a relationship of resentment. Are you re-creating an old and familiar dynamic? Sometimes we keep putting ourselves in the same miserable situation, over and over again. What’s familiar can be comfortable, even if it’s miserable; and we may be trying to get some understanding of the dynamic and some power over it, to finally get it right.  

I’m just speculating here, to encourage you to think for yourself why you are staying in the dynamic you describe. You haven’t mentioned anything positive about your relationship, or about Meg.

Another possibility: I wonder if you might be so fearful of being alone that you’re willing to tolerate all sorts of treatment in order to stay in your relationship. Or perhaps you don’t think you deserve to be treated any better than this.

Again, if this is the case, where might this belief be coming from? Understanding why we are stuck in behaviors that keep us miserable can help us to get unstuck.

You have an opportunity to do something different here: Set a boundary and take power over your life. Perhaps if you did so, Meg would surprise you by shifting her stance, which would be good news if you have some good reasons to stay. Or perhaps she would not. Your challenge now is to get some sense of what’s holding you back, if you want something different for yourself. And unless you act on your own behalf, you will stay in this position. 

One more point to consider, regarding Meg’s dinner date with her ex: Whether or not anything is going on, I take your jealousy as a sign that you don’t trust Meg. And without trust, you can’t have a decent relationship.

Michael Radkowsky, Psy.D. is a licensed psychologist who works with couples and individuals in D.C. He can be found online at michaelradkowsky.com. All identifying information has been changed for reasons of confidentiality. Have a question? Send it to [email protected].

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Real Estate

April showers bring May flowers in life — and in real estate

Third time’s the charm for buyer plagued with problems

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As Dolly Parton says, ‘If you want the rainbow, you’ve got to put up with a little rain’ (Photo by Rangizzz/Bigstock)

Working in the real estate sector in D.C. can be as uniquely “D.C.” as the residents feel about their own city. On any given day, someone could be selling a home that their grandmother bought, passed on to the relatives, and the transfer of generational wealth continues.  In that same transaction, the beginning steps of building of generational wealth could be taking place.

Across town, an international buyer could be looking for a condo with very specific characteristics that remind them of the way things are “back home.” Maybe they want to live in a building with a pool because they grew up by the sea. Maybe they want a large kitchen so they can cook grandma’s recipes. Maybe they will be on MSNBC once a month and need to have a home office fit for those Zoom sessions where they will be live on air, or recording their podcast.  Perhaps they play the saxophone and want a building with thick walls so they can make a joyful noise without causing their neighbors to file a cease-and-desist order.  

What I found fascinating was getting to know my buyers. Why were they purchasing their property? What did they want to do with it? Was this their grandmother’s dream that they would have a place of their own someday? Did they finally think they would write that award-winning play in the home office?  What dreams were going to be fulfilled while taking part in this transaction?  

Somedays, the muck and paperwork slog of navigating home inspection items and financing checklists could get to be distracting at best, and almost downright disheartening at worst.  

One of my clients was under contract on THREE places before we finally closed on a home. One building was discovered to have financing issues, and the residents were not keeping up with their condo fees. Another building had an issue with the title to the unit, which meant the seller could not sell the home for at least another year until that legal snag was resolved. As the months rolled by, she was losing heart and feeling defeated. When we finally found the third home, everything seemed great – and then about two weeks before the settlement, the rains came down and the windows leaked into the bedrooms.  

Another delay. (Our THIRD). This time, for several more weeks.

I think she wanted to pack a suitcase, go to the airport, get on a plane somewhere and never come back. What ultimately happened? The building repaired the windows, the seller’s insurance replaced the hardwood floors, and she bought her first condo, which she still enjoys to this day.  

As Dolly Parton says, “If you want the rainbow, you’ve got to put up with a little rain.”  And finally, after months of looking, waiting, and overcoming obstacles, the rainbow peeked out from behind the clouds.  


Joseph Hudson is a referral agent with Metro Referrals.  He can be reached at 703-587-0597 or [email protected].

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Autos

Sporty sedans: BMW 530i xDrive, Mercedes AMG CLA 3

Tariffs are here and the result is financial chaos

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BMW 530i xDRIVE

It’s official: Tariffs are here, and the result is financial chaos. 

So, what to do when purchasing a new vehicle? If you need one in the not-so-distant future, buy sooner (like yesterday) rather than later. Expect prices to rise quickly, as inventory dwindles, demand soars, and automaker incentives evaporate. Of course, if a new ride isn’t a priority for at least a year or three, then hold off until the dust settles. 

But for those of you looking for new wheels now, I recently drove two sport sedans that were a pleasant reprieve from the usual plethora of pickups, minivans, and SUVs. 

BMW 530i xDRIVE

$63,000

MPG: 28 city/35 highway

0 to 60 mph: 5.5 seconds

Cargo space: 18.4 cu. ft. 

PROS: Rakish looks. Race-car vibe. Rock-star amenities. 

CONS: Rad-but-quirky infotainment system. Rich price.

IN A NUTSHELL: Classic good looks, from the iconic grille and swept-back headlights to chiseled side panels and a tasteful tush. For a gearhead like me, the BMW 530i xDrive — completely redesigned last year — is as rapturous as Michelangelo’s David. Everything here is in proportion, from the design to the drivetrain, which — along with a gutsy 255-hp turbo and all-wheel drive — helps deliver a divine experience behind the wheel. Even better, my test car came equipped with the heavenly M-Sport Package: 21-inch wheels, athletic suspension, and assorted styling upgrades. 

A tech-laden cabin is outfitted with a sparkly 12.3-inch digital instrument cluster and 14.9-inch touchscreen infotainment system. With the windshield head-up display and a slew of knobs and toggle switches in the center console and on the steering wheel, I wondered if this is how it feels to pilot the Space Shuttle. There is even a back-lit interaction bar with touch-sensitive controls to adjust vent direction and other climate control settings. 

All this gadgetry takes some getting used to, but the overall effect is dazzling. While a 12-speaker Harman Kardon stereo comes standard, I was jammin’ to the 16-speaker Bowers & Wilkins premium audio. Of course, such options add up quickly (on my test car, the extras totaled $13,000). 

Just how fun is this car? In my favorite episode of “Hacks,” sassy Jean Smart drives a rockin’ Rolls Royce Wraith. Trust me, this four-door BMW is every bit the badass as that $300,000 super coupe. 

MERCEDES AMG CLA 35

$58,000

MPG: 22 city/29 highway

0 to 60 mph: 4.8 seconds

Cargo space: 11.6 cu. ft. 

PROS: Slick styling. Spiffy cabin. Sublime seats.

CONS: Smallish trunk. So-so rear headroom and legroom.

IN A NUTSHELL: Need a smaller sedan that’s just as marvy as the midsize BMW i530? Look no further than the compact Mercedes CLA-Class, which is 14 inches shorter. That’s a benefit when jockeying for parking or navigating rush hour.

Another plus: This is Mercedes’s least expensive sedan, available in three trim levels. All come with the same potent turbo but in varying power levels. The base model starts at $46,000, but I tested the first of two high-performance versions: the AMG CLA 35, which costs $12,000 more. You can open your wallet even further to snag the $67,000 AMG CLA 45. 

But why bother? The AMG CLA 35 is plenty quick — faster than the BMW i530 — and boasts sport-tuned brakes, deft handling and a gritty-sounding exhaust system. The laundry list of standard features includes all-wheel drive, automated parking, gobs of the latest safety gizmos and even something called “safe-exit assist,” which prevents passengers from opening a door into traffic or speeding cyclists. 

The interior is pure Mercedes, with top-notch materials, customizable ambient lighting and Burmester surround-sound audio. The overall layout—sleek and modern, but with elegant stitching in the seats and on the door panels and dashboard—is comfortable and user-friendly. Digital displays and touchscreens are similar to what’s in the BMW i530, just smaller. 

Size matters, of course, which is why this vehicle’s shorter length can be a blessing but also a curse, especially when trying to squeeze passengers with longer legs into the backseats. And the dramatically sloped roofline, attractive from the outside, limits the amount of rear headroom and cargo space. Thank the automotive gods for panoramic sunroofs, which—at least for anyone in the front seats—makes this cabin feel surprisingly spacious.  

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