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‘I’m not going to cry about this’

Friends rally for Va. couple saving for prosthesis after cancer claims woman’s leg

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Zunaira Khalid (left) and her partner Ebony Bates in their basement apartment in Khalid's parents' house in Chantilly, Va. The couple says they're lucky most of the medical expenses from the June cancer surgery that claimed Khalid's leg were covered by insurance but only a small percentage will be covered for the prosthetic leg Khalid needs. (Washington Blade photo by Joey DiGuglielmo)

Zunaira Khalid benefit

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Things were going pretty well for Zunaira Khalid and Ebony Bates in December. They’d had rough spots large and small throughout their nine-year relationship such as years of separation while Bates went to college in her native Pennsylvania, some occasional minor clashes that are inevitable in cross-cultural romances and all the usual pings and pangs that come and go as young people figure out what they want and don’t want from life.

But by the end of last year Khalid, a 35-year-old aspiring doctor and native Pakistani Muslim who’s been in the U.S. since age 12, and Bates, a 29-year-old Washington, Pa., native, realized their lives were beginning to jell. In October Bates landed what she calls her “dream job” with a government agency. She declines to say which because she says it’s not terribly gay friendly.

And after years of dabbling in various fields, Khalid, who’d drifted after finishing medical school questioning if she really wanted to be a doctor, decided medicine was her calling and she was in the uphill battle of getting back into the rigors of a residency program. Since 2005, the couple has lived in the basement of Khalid’s parents’ sprawling Chantilly, Va., home.

The two had been without health insurance for years. Bates was in school most of the ’00s doing undergrad and graduate work and Khalid had been unemployed for years studying to pass an exam to get back into medicine. The two had met in 2001 working together at Dulles Airport.

By December, Bates had coverage through her job. It took some arm twisting, but she convinced Khalid they needed to buy her some too, just in case. They found a decent plan for a little more than $100 per month through Aetna Health Insurance, an extraordinarily fortuitous decision on Bates’ part that saved the couple from financial ruin when Khalid got sick in February with an aggressive form of cancer that resulted in her leg having to be amputated in June.

“We were to the point where we’d been committed for several years,” Khalid says. “It’s almost impossible to have any sort of relationship recognition in Virginia, so that was never really discussed, but after D.C. passed marriage in December and then Ebony got a job she was like, ‘Look, we have a little money now, let’s get you a health plan. I didn’t think it was big deal. I don’t really get the flu or anything acute very often. I was like, ‘I’m fine, I don’t need it,’ but she was really adamant.”

To Khalid, she and Bates both burdened with considerable student loan debt, it seemed like one more expense. But she acquiesced and had an exam in December and got a clean bill of health.

The first signs of the cancer came innocuously in February. Khalid noticed her jeans felt tight around her left leg and took a bit of effort to get on. When it persisted, she had it looked at and was diagnosed with a pulled muscle. Just give it time to heal on its own, doctors told her. When it didn’t, she returned and an ultrasound found a cyst growing behind her knee. A biopsy revealed the mass was an aggressive sarcoma that was spreading fast. The situation quickly grew dire. It had grown from the size of a golf ball when an initial ultrasound was done to the size of a baseball a month later when an MRI was performed on Feb. 27.

Doctors told Khalid and Bates they were going to do everything they could to save her life and save her leg. It quickly became clear how potentially serious the diagnosis was.

“I remember when they said they were going to try to save her life first but we can’t guarantee that, that was really jarring for me,” Bates says. “Here they were talking about the possibility of death and if we were lucky she would make it through. It was just a lot of bad news at once.”

Bates, under pressure at her new job and in a probationary period where she knew she had to perform at her best, decided she needed to come out to her boss and explain the situation in case the stress started showing up in her performance. She was only able to miss a few days of work throughout Khalid’s illness, a point that irks the couple who marvel at the provisions that would be available if they were a married, opposite-sex couple.

But the couple opted to focus on the positive — most glaringly that Bates had the foresight to insist on an insurance plan for Khalid.

The first treatment step was two debilitating rounds of chemo, which destroyed Khalid’s immune system and put her in the hospital at Washington Hospital Center in D.C.’s Pleasant Plains neighborhood for weeks at a time. The chemo took such a toll — Khalid’s doctor told her he’d never seen anybody react so aversely to it — that a third round would have been too much for her body to handle. It was also unsuccessful at shrinking the mass to a degree doctors felt was acceptable.

There were essentially three problems with the growth — it had grown around a nerve meaning removing the mass would likely have resulted in Khalid having no control of her leg. Secondly it was so close to the bone, operating would be difficult and would have required, thirdly, a new route for blood supply to the leg, another iffy proposition considering the mass’s location. Amputation became the only safe option.

“I just realized very quickly that was the best decision I could make,” Khalid says. “I’d kind of prepared myself for it emotionally when they first told me it was a possibility. That first weekend, Eb had to be in Pennsylvania for work and I decided to go with her. It was the best thing. She was busy with work stuff but I just shopped, hung out at the hotel and really had time to make my peace with it.”

Bates soldiered on at work and says a strong relationship with Khalid’s parents — she says they treat her as if she, too, were their daughter — helped tremendously.

“Anytime I thought about how hard it was to juggle this with work, I just realized how much easier I had it compared to what she was going through,” Bates says.

Khalid is doing well now. She gets around on a pair of crutches cushioned with zebra-patterned covers. She was up and walking with a walker the day after her surgery. And she can still drive since she only needs to use her right leg.

The pain, though, has been excruciating at times. Muscle in her leg was essentially “wrapped” around hollow bone resulting in cookie-cutter like pressure from the bone’s edges. Khalid also experiences “phantom” pain where it feels as if her leg is still there, causing both pain and itching sensations.

“Basically the nerves have been cut but up here,” she says, pointing to her head, “it thinks everything is normal. So the nerves are freaking out and they don’t know what happened.”

She’s also stumbled several times as she attempts to get around.

The couple’s biggest challenge now is affording a massively expensive prosthetic leg for Khalid. The Aetna plan they chose has been great at kicking in thousands of dollars toward her chemo and surgery expenses but comes up far short on the cost of the prosthesis. The couple says it will cover only about $2,000 of the estimated $40,000 to $45,000 cost.

Friends are rallying. D.C. lesbian event promoter Ebone Bell has set up a website seeking contributions. Another lesbian friend, Darcy O’Callaghan, is planning an event Thursday at Policy for the couple. Donations are being accepted here.

Khalid says she’s keeping the stiff upper lip she’s maintained all along.

“I just decided up front I’m not going to cry about this,” she says. “I refuse to cry and give into this. If I have cried, it hasn’t been because of this stupid cancer, but because I’ve been touched by the things people have done for me.”

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Virginia

Winsome Earle-Sears launches campaign against Va. marriage equality amendment

Former LG lost to Abigail Spanberger in 2025 gubernatorial race

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Former Virginia Lt. Gov. Winsome Earle-Sears (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

Less than a year after losing Virginia’s gubernatorial race, former Lt. Gov. Winsome Earle-Sears is campaigning across the state against constitutional amendments that would protect marriage equality and reproductive freedom.

She is launching a statewide “Life and Marriage Tour” ahead of November’s election.

Although same-sex couples can legally marry under the U.S. Supreme Court’s 2015 Obergefell v. Hodges decision, Virginia’s constitution still contains language that defines marriage as between one man and one woman. Supporters say removing the language would protect marriage equality should federal precedent change.

The original ban was written into the state constitution in 2006. 

It has been hinted at in the past by Supreme Court Judge Clarence Thomas that he would consider revisiting Obergefell v. Hodges regarding contraception and marriage rights for same-sex couples. He stated this in his concurring opinion regarding the Dobbs v. Jackson ruling, which allows for state-level abortion bans.

Equality Virginia Executive Director Narissa Rahaman said removing the ban would bring the state’s constitution in line with existing law.

“20 years after banning marriage equality, it’s time for our commonwealth to fully complete our evolution — and finish the job on protecting marriage equality for all,” Rahaman said.

In an email to supporters, Earle-Sears said these amendments “raise serious concerns” and could alter principles about which Virginians care.

“That is why our efforts are focused not only on informing voters, but also encouraging them to carefully consider these proposals and vote NO on both amendments,” Earle-Sears said.

Virginia voters will consider three constitutional amendments this November.

Earle-Sears is campaigning for voters to reject two of them: the Virginia Remove Constitutional Same-Sex Marriage Ban Amendment and the Right to Reproductive Freedom Amendment.

A “Yes” vote on the Same-Sex Marriage Ban Amendment would include removing a provision that states marriage is between one man and one woman and prohibitng the state from denying a marriage license to two adults based on their sex, gender, or race, according to the Virginia Department of Elections.

In 2025, during debates against now Gov. Abigail Spanberger, Earle-Sears argued it is not discrimination to think that gay people should not be allowed to marry. She claims it conflicts with her faith.

According to ABC 8, in 2024 she wrote that she had a “moral opposition” to marriage equality, after former Gov. Glenn Youngkin, a Republican, signed a marriage equality bill that barred denying marriage licenses based on sex, gender, or race.

According to the Virginia Department of Elections, a “Yes” vote on the Reproductive Freedom amendment supports adding a section to the state constitution that would give Virginians the right to make and carry out decisions regarding reproductive healthcare, except in specific exemptions.

The Virginia Department of Elections wrote that if accepted, the amendment would allow the state government to pass laws to regulate abortion care in the third trimester of pregnancy, but require abortion care when it is medically needed to protect the life and health of the pregnant person or because the fetus is not viable.

During the 2025 election cycle, Earle-Sears was clear on her anti-abortion stance.

According to the Virginia Independent, she utilized campaign funds to donate to the Family Foundation of Virginia. The group is a faith-based, anti-abortion, and anti-in vitro fertilization non-profit.

The “Life and Marriage Tour” will include traveling throughout Virginia to speak with citizens, churches, community organizations, and local leaders. The exact locations have yet to be announced.

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District of Columbia

D.C. Council approves increased funding for Mayor’s Office of LGBTQ Affairs

Increase attached to 2027 budget bill

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D.C. Mayor Muriel Bowser at the 2024 Pride month flag raising ceremony at the Wilson Building. (Washington Blade photo by Emma Hanna)

The D.C. Council on July 14 gave final approval for the city’s fiscal year 2027 budget that includes an amendment calling for increasing the number and size of funding grants that the Mayor’s Office of LGBTQ Affairs provides for local organizations providing services for the LGBTQ community.

The amendment, called the “LGBTQ Community Grant Amendment Act of 2026,” was introduced earlier this year by D.C. Council member Zachary Parker (D-Ward 5), the Council’s only gay member.

The D.C. LGBTQ Budget Coalition called the Parker amendment “a historic measure that establishes the District’s most sustainable model for a vehicle for investing in LGBTQ communities.”

The Council approved the version of the FY 2027 budget bill with the attached Parker amendment in its first of two required votes on June 9. Shortly after voting unanimously to give final approval of an earlier version of the two-part budget measure on July 7 that includes the Parker amendment, the Council sent the bill to Mayor Muriel Bowser for her signature.  

Bowser has expressed strong opposition to several provisions in the $22 billion budget measure passed by the Council that are unrelated to the Parker amendment regarding the Office of LGBTQ Affairs. The mayor has yet to say whether she will sign, veto, or choose not to sign the bill.

The latter option would allow the bill to become law if Congress does not choose to overturn it during its required 30-day legislative review period for all D.C. bills. Political observers believe the Council will vote to override a veto if Bowser chooses to veto the bill.

When contacted by the Washington Blade on July 22 to determine where the mayor stands on the budget bill, mayoral spokesperson Daniel Gleick said only, there was “no update on the budget just yet.”

Among other things, the Parker amendment calls for the Mayor’s Office of LGBTQ Affairs to issue a $980,000 grant in FY 2027 to a private, nonprofit organization in partnership with the office “for the purpose of supporting programs that promote the welfare of the lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and questioning community.”

It would allocate $680,000 of that funding total from existing funds from the city’s community affairs grants program and calls for $200,000 in newly appropriated funds.  

It says the organization selected would also initiate its own fundraising effort to expand the amount of funds beyond the amount the office would provide, enabling it to provide larger grants to a greater number of local LGBTQ organizations.

“The legislation arrives at a critical moment, as LGBTQ-serving organizations face unprecedented uncertainty,” the D.C. Budget Coalition said in its comment on the Parker amendment. “Growing demand for services is colliding with shrinking resources, federal attacks on LGBTQ programs, and ongoing threats to local funding streams,” the coalition’s statement says.

In what some observers have called a highly controversial action; the budget bill approved by the Council reverses and restores millions of dollars in budget cuts proposed by Bowser in the budget she submitted to the Council earlier this year.

Among other things, the Council’s budget preserves the current level of funding for housing vouchers, childcare, paid family leave, and other programs slated to be cut in the mayor’s proposed budget, according to a report by the Washington Post.

Bowser points out that the Council approved budget bill calls for using $150 million from the city’s reserve fund, which she and others have said could put the city in jeopardy in future years. The mayor has said the cuts were needed to prevent a major funding shortfall brought about by the action by Republicans in Congress to cut the city’s budget by over a billion dollars.     

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Rehoboth Beach

Craig Thier says experience, civility are key to Rehoboth’s future

Mayoral candidate cites finance background as key strength

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Craig Thier is running for mayor of Rehoboth Beach.

(Editors note: This is the third installment in a three-part series profiling the candidates for mayor of Rehoboth Beach, Del.: Commissioners Suzanne Goode, Susan Stewart, and Craig Thier; a fourth candidate, William Raak, filed to join the race but has not responded to multiple Blade inquiries. Visit washingtonblade.com for previous installments.) 

Rehoboth Beach City Commissioner Craig Thier says his experience in public service and finance has prepared him to lead the city as residents elect a new mayor on Aug. 8.

Thier, who has owned property in Rehoboth Beach since 2002 and has lived there full time for a little more than five years, said he first sought public office after becoming concerned about the city’s financial planning.

“A couple of years ago, when I decided to run, the city raised taxes and fees across the board unnecessarily. They had a broken budgeting process,” said Thier.

Elected as a city commissioner in August 2024, Thier draws on a background in corporate finance and consulting, He said he could improve the city’s budgeting practices.

“I felt that I could bring that experience in and help the city improve that broken budgeting process,” he said.

Thier said one of his accomplishments as commissioner has been helping transition the city from annual budgeting to long-term financial planning.

“Within the first year, I worked with the city administration to transition us from an annual budgeting process that was really broken to a multi-year planning process,” he said.

If elected mayor, Thier said his first priority would be improving relationships among members of the Board of Commissioners.

“First would be just civility. There is a lot of infighting among some of the commissioners,” said Thier.

He says that he wants to focus on “getting people to work together so that we can get back to the business of the city.”

Thier said disagreements are inevitable but believes they should be handled more respectfully.

“We have to return to civility. People need to respect each other, people need to respect the right of other individuals to express their thoughts and opinions,” he said. 

“That lack of civility absolutely has impacted our ability to get the business of the city done.”

He also said meetings should remain focused on the agenda even when commissioners disagree.

“Everyone’s got to tone things down a little bit,” Thier said. “Just because we may not agree with someone’s position doesn’t mean that that position isn’t valid.”

He added that after discussions conclude, commissioners should be willing to accept the outcome.

“People need to be prepared to move on if they don’t have the support,” he said.

Thier pointed to his previous elected experience as another qualification for the mayor’s office.

“I spent 12 years on a school board, five years as president, and I’m finishing up my second year here [as commissioner]. I believe that I have far more experience than anyone else.”

“I’ve been able to accomplish things because of my experience, and I’ve been doing this a long time,” he added.

Thier also said maintaining Rehoboth Beach’s perfect score on the Human Rights Campaign’s Municipal Equality Index would remain a priority if he is elected.

“It is absolutely a priority for the city,” he said.

“I think it’s one of the great things about the city of Rehoboth Beach is the diversity that’s there, and that we’ve been a very welcoming community.”

Thier credited city staff for helping achieve the city’s perfect score and said he would continue working with LGBTQ+ organizations, including CAMP Rehoboth.

“I have relationships with these organizations. I would continue to foster these relationships,” he said. “It’s critical that we’re doing the things to maintain this perfect score.”

Thier also expressed support for the city’s partnership with Clear Space Theatre Company as it works toward constructing a permanent performing arts venue downtown.

“Clear Space has been part of the community for more than 20 years. I think they’re an important part of the community.”

He said the theater contributes to Rehoboth’s identity as a tourist destination.

“The tourists come to Rehoboth for the whole package: the beach, the boardwalk, our restaurants, our retailers, Clear Space. They’re an important part of that whole package.”

The election will take place on Aug. 8 from 10 a.m.-6 p.m. at the Rehoboth Beach Convention Center.

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