Michael,

My husband is great, but he’s a pushover. It happens at work a lot. For example: His colleague, who came back from maternity leave about four months ago, is always leaving early. And Jeremy is always staying late to finish the jobs that they should be doing together.

But the most galling to me is that he doesn’t speak up for himself in his family. His parents (in my opinion) overtly favor his brother (who is straight) and his brother’s family. I could give a lot of examples. The latest: They’re treating the brother and the family to a cruise.

We’ve been together for 15 years, married for 12, and never get any such treatment.

Jeremy says his brother is strapped for cash (four kids, one income) and the family needs a break, whereas Jeremy doesn’t need his parents to pay for his (or our) vacation. I don’t really want to go on a cruise but it’s the principle of the thing.

Again, this is just one example. I feel bad for Jeremy being walked on, over and over, and I want him to start standing up for himself. Despite my repeated entreaties, he won’t.

When I push him on this, he tells me I’m not seeing the whole picture, or he sees it differently, or it’s not a big deal, or he’s fine with things as they are.

I can’t see how he could be fine with being taken advantage of, or not being appreciated.  I think he’d have a much better life if he actually set some boundaries with people.

How do I persuade Jeremy to listen to me and be more assertive?

Michael replies:

Do you see the irony in complaining that you can’t get your husband to listen to you about being more assertive and setting a boundary?

You’ve made your point to Jeremy, repeatedly, and Jeremy is telling you to back off. In other words, he’s assertively setting a boundary with you. 

You can’t get someone else to behave in the way you want, even when you’re certain that your way is best. Jeremy gets to decide how he wants to conduct himself.

Here’s a pattern I have noticed over and over again through my years of working with couples: When you try to do something for someone that is their own job to do, both you and the person you are trying to “help” wind up being resentful. You get annoyed that the other person won’t listen to your wonderful advice, and the other person gets annoyed because they don’t want someone else telling them what to do or how to live their life.

In this case, you’re trying to get Jeremy to stand up for himself more than he does, and he’s not interested in changing how he operates.

A great rule for relationships: You can advocate for what you want, but you have to let go of the result. (And advocate sparingly, or you risk being a nag).

You are continuing to argue the same point to Jeremy, and Jeremy isn’t interested in listening to you. As you asked for my advice, here it is: Cut it out before he gets into the resentment stage, if he’s not already there, as you apparently are.

Also, please consider that your repeatedly criticizing Jeremy’s parents where Jeremy sees no problem could damage not only your relationship with Jeremy, but also his and your relationship with his family.

We get to marry the person we marry. We don’t get to insist that they upgrade to a better (at least in our opinion) version. Trying to do so is not just disrespectful and a waste of time, it poisons the relationship.

So find a way to live with Jeremy as he is, or — if you find his acquiescent nature unbearable — leave. But don’t spend the rest of your marriage, or even another day, haranguing him about how you think he should behave.

Michael Radkowsky, Psy.D. is a licensed psychologist who works with couples and individuals in D.C. He can be found online at michaelradkowsky.com. All identifying information has been changed for reasons of confidentiality. Have a question? Send it to [email protected].

Buying a home has always been a landmark of security and self-expression. For LGBTQ+ people, it can also be a powerful act of claiming space in a country where housing equality is still a work in progress. The good news? This year offers more options—and more protections—than ever. A record-breaking 130 U.S. cities now score a perfect 100 on the Human Rights Campaign’s Municipal Equality Index (MEI), meaning their local laws, services, and political leadership actively protect queer residents, reports.hrc.org. Meanwhile, national housing analysts at Zillow expect only modest price growth this year (about 2.6 percent), giving buyers a little breathing room to shop around.

Below are eight standout markets where strong equality scores, vibrant LGBTQ+ culture, and relatively attainable prices converge. Median sale prices are from March 2025 Zillow data.

1. Minneapolis–St. Paul, MN

Median sale price: $317,500  

Twin Cities residents benefit from statewide nondiscrimination laws that explicitly cover sexual orientation and gender identity, a thriving queer arts scene, and dozens of neighborhood Pride celebrations beyond the mega-festival each June. Buyers also appreciate Minnesota’s down-payment assistance programs for first-time and BIPOC purchasers—many LGBTQ+ households qualify.

2. Philadelphia

Median sale price: $227,667   

Philly combines East Coast culture with Mid-Atlantic affordability. “Gayborhood” anchors like Giovanni’s Room bookstore mingle with new LGBTQ-owned cafés in Fishtown and South Philly. Pennsylvania added statewide housing protections in 2024, closing the legal gaps that once worried trans and nonbinary buyers.

3. Pittsburgh

Median sale price: $221,667 

Don’t let the steel-town stereotype fool you—Pittsburgh’s MEI score is 100, and its real-estate dollar stretches further than in comparable metros. Lawrenceville and Bloomfield have become hubs for queer-owned eateries and co-working spaces, while regional employers in tech and healthcare boast top Corporate Equality Index ratings.

4. Tucson, Ariz.

Median sale price: $328,333 

This desert city punches above its weight in LGBTQ+ visibility thanks to the University of Arizona, a nationally ranked Pride parade, and some of the country’s most picturesque outdoor recreation. Arizona’s statewide fair-housing statute now explicitly lists gender identity, giving buyers added recourse if discrimination occurs.

5. Madison, Wisc.

Median sale price: $413,867 

Madison blends progressive politics with a top-five public university and a booming tech corridor. Local lenders routinely promote inclusive marketing, and Dane County offers one of the few county-level LGBTQ+ home-ownership programs in the nation, providing up to $10,000 in forgivable assistance for low-to-moderate-income couples.

6. Atlanta

Median sale price: $359,967 

The cultural capital of the Southeast delivers queer nightlife, Fortune 500 jobs, and a web of supportive nonprofits such as Lost-n-Found Youth. While Georgia lacks statewide protections, Atlanta’s 100-point MEI score covers public accommodations, contracting, and employer requirements—shielding homebuyers who choose in-town neighborhoods like Midtown or East Point.

7. St. Petersburg, Fla.

Median sale price: $354,667 Yes, Florida’s statewide politics are turbulent, but St. Pete has long held firm on LGBTQ+ equality. The city’s Pride festival draws nearly a million visitors, and local ordinances bar discrimination in housing and public services. Waterfront bungalows in Kenwood and more affordable condos near Uptown give first-time buyers options.

8. Denver

Median sale price: $563,500 

Colorado passed some of the nation’s strongest gender identity housing protections in 2024, and Denver’s queer community remains one of the most visible in the Mountain West. Although prices run higher, buyers gain exceptional job growth and one of the country’s largest Gay & Lesbian Chambers of Commerce.

Smart Strategies for LGBTQ+ Buyers & Sellers

1. Build Your Dream Team Early

• Work with an equality-focused real-estate pro. The easiest way is to start at GayRealEstate.com, which has screened gay, lesbian, and allied agents in every U.S. market for more than 30 years.
• Choose inclusive lenders and inspectors. Ask whether each vendor follows HUD’s 2021 guidance interpreting the Fair Housing Act to cover sexual orientation and gender identity.

2. Know Your Rights—And Limitations

• Federal law bars housing bias, but enforcement can lag. Document everything and report issues to HUD, your state civil-rights agency, or Lambda Legal.
• In states without full protections, rely on city ordinances (check the MEI) and add explicit nondiscrimination language to your purchase contract.

3. Evaluate Neighborhood Fit

• Use local data: crime stats, school ratings, transit, and MEI scores of nearby suburbs.
• Spend time in queer-owned cafés, bars, and community centers to gauge true inclusivity.

4. For Sellers: Market With Pride—And Professionalism

• Highlight proximity to LGBTQ+ resources (community centers, Pride festivals) in your listing remarks.
• Stage neutrally but inclusively—rainbow art is great, but removing personal photos can protect privacy during showings.

The landscape for LGBTQ+ homeowners is evolving fast. By coupling inclusive laws, supportive culture, and attainable prices, cities like Minneapolis, Philadelphia, and Tucson stand out for 2025. No matter where you land, surround yourself with professionals who value every part of your identity. Start your journey at GayRealEstate.com, lean on the resources above, and claim your corner of the American dream—on your own terms, and with pride.

Scott Helms is president and owner of Gayrealestate.com.

Now’s the time to get your property looking sharp for summer. In the D.C. rental market, summer is our version of the Super Bowl. Tenants are on the move, leases are flipping, and if your property isn’t ready for game time, you’re sitting on the bench while the competition scores.

Here’s how to get your rental property summer-ready, keep it competitive, and avoid the scramble once the heat (and the demand) is on.

First Impressions Count 

In a walkable city like D.C., curb appeal isn’t a luxury, it’s your ticket to play. Prospective tenants don’t just scroll through listings from their couches; they walk the neighborhoods, eyeing buildings and row homes like it’s a real-life episode of House Hunters. If your property looks run-down from the sidewalk, it doesn’t matter how nice it is inside: you’ll already have lost their attention.

Start with a good power wash. Sidewalks, front steps, and that brick façade can collect a year’s worth of grime and pollen, and nothing says “we didn’t get around to it” quite like a dingy entryway. Once that’s done, grab a paintbrush and freshen up the details — front doors, railings, and window trim are often the first thing people see, and chipped or faded paint sends the wrong message. Landscaping doesn’t have to rival a botanical garden, but it should be tidy and intentional. A few potted plants, some trimmed bushes, and a weed-free yard show that you care. And don’t forget the lighting — a working porch light adds a layer of polish and safety. Think of curb appeal like a dating profile picture. If it’s not appealing, people won’t even bother to swipe right.

Handle Maintenance Before Repair Emergencies

Summer in D.C. means one thing: humidity. And it’s not just uncomfortable. It’s a property’s worst enemy if you’re not on top of things. Tenants will test that A/C the minute they move in, so don’t wait for a 98-degree day to find out the AC compressor is clogged and is not performing to its potential. While you’re at it, check those windows and screens. No one wants a unit that turns into a sauna because the windows won’t open or the screens are shredded.

Plumbing deserves a once-over, too. In some of D.C.’s older neighborhoods, tree roots have been known to snake their way into century-old pipes. If you’ve had slow drains or backups, now’s the time to act. And don’t skip out on pest control. Ants, roaches, and rodents all love a good D.C. summer, but your tenants sure don’t. A preventative visit now can spare you the late-night emergency call later.

Upgrade What Matters

If your place still has that “2008 Craigslist listing” look, now’s your chance for a low-cost glow-up that pays off in higher rent and better tenants.

You don’t have to renovate the entire kitchen, but a few strategic upgrades can keep your property feeling current without breaking the bank. Swapping out dated cabinet pulls or faucet fixtures is a quick win. Replacing an old Formica countertop with stone is a great add, albeit a bigger investment.

Installing a smart thermostat or keyless entry, especially if you’re trying to attract a tech-savvy tenant, adds a bit of glitz. And don’t underestimate the value of LED lighting.  Not only is the lighting brighter, but energy efficiency is a real plus when Pepco bills start climbing.

Don’t Forget the Marketing Materials

The window for summer leasing moves fast. Between May and August, tenants are locking in their spots quickly, and they aren’t wasting time on listings that look outdated or vague. Having strong, current marketing materials can be the difference between locking in a new tenant over several weeks or watching your property sit vacant for several months while others get rented.

When writing your listing, make sure it reflects the strengths of the unit and its location. Is there a private balcony that catches the sunset? Mention it. Is the washer and dryer tucked inside the unit instead of down a shared hallway? Highlight that. And in the D.C. summer heat, central A/C and ceiling fans aren’t bonuses; they’re expectations. Mention any shaded outdoor spaces, or if you’re lucky enough to be close to a pool, splash pad, or one of the city’s beloved parks, say so.

Once the property is shining on the outside and tuned up inside, the final step is making sure that polish shows up in your marketing. Your listing needs to be more than just functional, it needs to sell. That starts with updated and clear photos. Snap new images once the landscaping is cleaned up, the paint has dried, and the light’s hitting just right. Don’t use older photos pre-2020 where the tree out front was still a sapling and the trash bins were in the shot. And please, always close toilet seats first!  Prospective renters are savvy, and their intuition perks up when they see less than professional looking photos.

It’s All About Timing

This summer, make the most of the opportunity. In D.C., there’s a wave of renters moving for new jobs, internships, or simply trying to relocate before school starts. Landlords who prep early and market smartly are the ones who don’t just find tenants, they find good tenants. And they fill units faster.

Grab that to-do list, schedule those contractors, and maybe treat yourself to a cold one after a long day of touch-ups. You’ll thank yourself later when your rental is leased out and earning while others are still scrambling at the end of the season.

Scott Bloom is owner and senior property manager at Columbia Property Management. For more information and resources, visit ColumbiaPM.com.