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Most U.S. Catholics back civil marriage for gays

Support for LGBT rights stronger than among general public

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Phil Attey, executive director of Catholics for Equality, said poll findings showing Catholics are more supportive of LGBT equality than the general public are 'heartening but not surprising.' (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

U.S. Catholics are more supportive of LGBT rights, including same-sex marriage, than the general public and other Christians, according to a newly released study analyzing public opinion polls taken in 2010.

The study, conducted by the D.C.-based Public Religion Research Institute (PRRI), found that nearly three-quarters of Catholics support either allowing same-sex couples to marry (43 percent) or allowing them to legalize their relationships through a civil union (31 percent).

Just 22 percent of Catholics indicated same-sex couplesā€™ relationships should not be legally recognized, the study found.

ā€œIf marriage for gay couples is defined as a civil marriage ā€˜like you get at city hall,ā€™ Catholic support for allowing gay couples to marry increases by 28 points, from 43 percent to 71 percent,ā€ a 22-page report describing the studyā€™s findings says.

ā€œIt may come as a surprise to many that rank and file Catholics are more supportive of rights for gays and lesbians than other Christians and the public,ā€ said Robert P. Jones, PRRIā€™s chief executive officer. ā€œBut the best data available paints this consistent portrait across a range of issues, including same-sex marriage, workplace non-discrimination, open military service, and adoption rights for gay and lesbian couples.ā€

PRRI released its study report, Catholic Attitudes on Gay and Lesbian Issues: A Comprehensive Portrait from Recent Research,ā€ on March 22, four days after the release of an ABC News-Washington Post poll showing similar views among U.S. Catholics.

The ABC News/Post poll, conducted March 10-13 by landline and cell phone among 1,005 adults ā€” of all Americans, not just Catholics ā€” found that an all-time high of 53 percent of those responding said it should be legal for gays and lesbians to marry.

The 53 percent support for legalized same-sex marriage represents an increase from 32 percent support for same-sex marriage shown in a similar poll conducted in 2004, the ABC News-Post pollsters said. Forty-four percent of respondents in the March 2011 ABC-Post poll said they oppose legalizing same-sex marriage compared to 62 percent saying they opposed such marriages in the 2004 poll.

The ABC News-Post poll showed that support for same-sex marriage among white Catholics increased by a dramatic 23 points between 2006 and 2011, from 40 percent to 63 percent.

Support for same-sex marriage among white Evangelical Protestants rose from 14 percent in 2006 to 25 percent this year, the poll shows. It shows that support for marriage equality among white non-Evangelical Protestants increased from 41 percent in 2006 to 57 percent in 2011.

The Public Religion Research Institute study is based on findings of six separate polls conducted between July and December of 2010. Three were conducted by PRRI and three were conducted by other survey research organizations.

The sample size for the six polls ranged from a little more than 1,000 to just over 3,000. According to the report, the Catholic ā€œsubsampleā€ for the six polls ranged from just over 185 to a little over 350, resulting in a margin of error ranging from plus or minus 3 percent to plus or minus 7 percent, the report says.

The PRRI study report lists these additional findings:

ā€¢ ā€œSeventy-three percent of Catholics favor laws that would protect gay and lesbian people against discrimination in the workplace; 63 percent of Catholics favor allowing gay and lesbian people to serve openly in the military; and 6-in-10 Catholics favor allowing gay and lesbian couples to adopt children.ā€

ā€¢ ā€œCompared to the general church-going public, Catholics are significantly less likely to hear about the issue of homosexuality from their clergy, but those who do are much more likely to hear negative messages.ā€

ā€¢ ā€œCompared to other religious groups, Catholics are significantly more likely to give their church poor marks for how it is handling the issue of homosexuality.ā€ Thirty-nine percent of Catholics give their own church or parish a grade of either ā€œAā€ or ā€œBā€ on its handling of the issue of homosexuality.

ā€¢ ā€œSeven-in-ten Catholics say messages from Americaā€™s places of worship contribute a lot (33 percent) or a little (37 percent) to higher rates of suicide among gay and lesbian youth.ā€

ā€¢ ā€œCatholics overwhelmingly reject the idea that sexual orientation can be changed. Nearly 7-in-ten (69 percent) of Catholics disagree that homosexual orientation can be changed; less than 1-in-4 (23 percent) believe that it can be changed.ā€

ā€¢ ā€œA majority of Catholics (56 percent) believe that sexual relations between two adults of the same gender is not a sin. Among the general population, less than half (46 percent) believe it is not a sin.ā€

The PRRI study found that support for same-sex marriage among Catholics varied greatly depending on how frequently they attend church. A PRRI poll conducted in September 2010 found that just 38 percent of Catholics respondents who reported attending church weekly or more frequently support legalizing same-sex marriage.

The poll found that 43 percent of those saying they attend church ā€œonce or twice a monthā€ support legalizing same-sex marriage. Among Catholics saying they attend church less often than once or twice a month, 59 percent support legalized same-sex marriage, the poll found.

Phil Attey, executive director of the D.C.-based group Catholics for Equality, said poll findings showing Catholics are more supportive of LGBT equality than the general public are ā€œheartening but not surprising.ā€

ā€œAmerican Catholics consistently poll higher on progressive social justice issues ā€“ including the freedom to marry for all,ā€ Attey said. ā€œOur Catholic faith tradition is strongly based on social justice and our duty to take care of those who are unjustly oppressed and marginalized.ā€

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Real Estate

Navigating D.C.ā€™s down payment assistance programs

On the way home, after a detour and a few speed bumps

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D.C. offers some of the most extensive programs for down payment assistance in the country. (Illustration by demianvs/Bigstock)

D.C. offers some of the most extensive programs for down payment assistance that are managed by the Greater Washington Urban League and the DC Housing Finance Authority, for programs like HPAP and EAHP (Home Purchase Assistance Program and Employer Assisted Housing Program). 

The District also offers the DC Opens Doors Program. All of these are great examples of offerings to help first-time or newer home purchasers to afford buying in the District of Columbia, one of the nationā€™s most expensive housing markets. 

There are various requirements for a buyer to use the program. These can be found at dhcd.dc.gov/service/homeownership. Many qualified local lenders are knowledgeable about these programs and can assist in dozens of these transactions each year. Often, asking a lender about these programs is a great place to start. Tina Del Casale with Sandy Spring Bank has been helping her clients with these programs for years. As part of her education outreach for clients, Tina informs her buyers of the following:

  • In the HPAP and the EAHP program, the seller must provide the opportunity for the buyer to perform a home inspection with a qualified home inspector. Ā 
  • The items that are flagged as ā€œmust repairsā€ need to be fixed by the seller. Ā 
  • The buyer must get their financial documentation to the lenders involved, as well as to the District of Columbia to be approved to use the program. Ā 
  • Whichever organization or department is managing the down payment assistance fund disbursal will also be involved in the process.Ā 
  • Ideally, it takes about 45-60 days from the date of ratification (going under contract) to close (the settlement date)Ā 
  • The lenders help to qualify/approve the condo buildings for financial health, ensuring that the finances within the building are being maintained by the homeowner association.

What happens, often, is that the process goes smoothly until the organization that manages the down payment assistance funds receives the file. The closing date can be extended time and time again, causing both the buyer and the seller to recalculate moving dates, moving trucks, packing, when to move funds around, whose home they will be sleeping at after the 3rd or 4th delay, and wondering if the seller is going to become so agitated with the entire process that they begin to Google search the term ā€œsmall claims court.ā€ In a recent instance, the buyer was delayed about four times over the holidays and when the file was ready to close, they were informed that the settlement had to be the following day. So, it was a situation of delay, delay, delay, delay, delay, delay, delay, and do this NOW, which means a buyer must coordinate (for the maybe 3rd time) a day off of work and recalculate their entire schedule at the last second to accommodate an organization that seems to have made few efforts to stay in communication along the way.

These delays make the buyer less competitive to win an offer and can make a planned purchase fail due to the failure of the buyer to perform. Nobody wants to be told their house will sell and then must make alternative plans when they realize the contract is not going through, OR there will be a significant delay by up to one to three months. 

How can we make this process more user friendly? If we could, developers might be more motivated to make affordable housing units available for more people, knowing that the process of selling a unit wonā€™t cause interminable delays and headaches for all parties involved.  Buyers must be fully vetted financially before submitting an offer. Is there a way to fully vet the down payment assistance funds, that they arrive in escrow at the title company a week or two before settlement so that all parties can plan their lives accordingly? 

Self-awareness as an organization is crucial for knowing where blind spots exist, how they can be looked at, and how a decent process can be improved to fulfill its own goal of helping buyers get into homeownership. Perhaps an exit interview or feedback form could be sent to each buyer after purchase and looked at for suggestions for improvement.


Joseph Hudson is a referral agent with Metro Referrals.Ā Reach him at 703-587-0597 orĀ [email protected].

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Real Estate

Tips for those considering buying a home in the Caribbean

Weather, safety, infrastructure among concerns

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Many Americans are considering leaving the country for the next four years. The Caribbean is an appealing option. (Photo by Nik Sorokin/Bigstock)

I recently returned from cruising through the Caribbean, just in time to experience the last vestiges of a snowstorm and 15-degree weather, coupled with a plethora of angry people wearing red hats, absent-mindedly riding around in circles on the Metro. No matter ā€“ I still have that post-vacation glow.

The Caribbean, a diverse region of 13 independent countries, 12 dependencies, and seven overseas territories, has long been a dream destination for travelers, retirees, and investors alike. With its crystal-clear waters, pristine beaches, and relaxed lifestyle, it’s no wonder that many people are drawn to the idea of owning property in this tropical paradise.

Buying real estate in the Caribbean requires careful planning, research, and an understanding of the unique challenges and opportunities that come with investing in a foreign market. Selecting the right island and community is a critical step in the buying process.

Consider such factors as:

  • Accessibility: Proximity to major airports and ease of travel
  • Infrastructure: Availability of roads, utilities, and amenities such as internet and streaming services
  • Safety and security: Crime rates and political stability
  • Climate and weather risks: Susceptibility to hurricanes and natural disasters
  • Healthcare: Quality and availability of medical services

Property prices and inventory vary widely across the region. Each Caribbean nation has its own rules regarding foreign ownership of property. Some countries have relatively open markets where foreigners can buy land freely. Others, such as the Bahamas, require special permits for non-residents purchasing property above a certain value.

It is essential to work with a reputable local attorney to navigate the legal requirements, including landownership laws and restrictions, residency and citizenship options, property taxes and fees, and title searches and due diligence.

Some islands, like Barbados and the Cayman Islands, offer residency permits for property owners who meet specific financial criteria. These programs can provide tax benefits, visa-free travel, long-term residency rights, and in some cases, top-tier medical facilities, including private hospitals and specialized care centers. 

Moreover, Antigua & Barbuda,Ā Dominica,Ā Grenada,Ā St. Kitts,Ā andĀ St. Lucia offer a Citizenship by Investment (CBI) program for property buyers: In some cases, citizenship will grant you visa-free access to more than 150 countries. While the costs fluctuate depending on the country, the process can be completed in as little as 7-12 months.Ā 

As you can imagine, there has been a surge of inquiries from the U.S. since last fall, so it would be wise to confirm the most recent amount and type of minimum investment required. You can find helpful information from the company La Vida atĀ  goldenvisas.com.

Many buyers in the Caribbean look to generate income through vacation rentals or long-term leasing. Islands with strong tourism demand, such as Aruba, the Bahamas, and St. Lucia, offer excellent rental potential. 

Working with a reputable property management company can help maximize rental income and ensure smooth operations; however, investors should consider seasonal fluctuations in tourism, property management costs, and local regulations on short-term rentals in determining their return on investment before committing to a purchase. 

As in the U.S., buying property in the Caribbean comes with additional costs beyond the purchase price. These may include legal fees (typically 1-3% of the purchase price), stamp duties and transfer taxes that vary by country, real estate agent compensation, property insurance, and maintenance costs.

Financing can be a challenge for foreign buyers, as many Caribbean banks require substantial down payments or have stringent lending criteria. Some investors choose to secure financing from their home country or pay in cash.

Nonetheless, expatriates living in the Caribbean often benefit from a lower cost of living, warm climate, and relaxed lifestyle. Many islands have well-established expat communities, making it easier to adjust to life abroad. As you begin your journey, it is recommended that you secure health insurance that covers medical treatment in both the Caribbean and your home country.

To successfully purchase property in the Caribbean, research and choose your preferred island based on your budget, lifestyle, and investment goals. Work with a local real estate agent who understands the market and legal requirements and, if applicable, speaks the appropriate language. Hire an attorney to conduct a title search, review contracts, and ensure compliance with local laws. Negotiate the purchase price and sign a sales agreement. Secure financing (if needed) and transfer funds. 

Once you have completed additional legal requirements such as obtaining permits, paying taxes, and registering the property, you might consider rental or management options if you are not living there full-time.

But if the Caribbean is to be your home away from home for at least a few years, turn off the news, stick an umbrella in your favorite frothy adult beverage, and lean into island living. 


Valerie M. Blake is a licensed Associate Broker in D.C., Maryland, and Virginia with RLAH @properties. Call or text her at 202-246-8602, email her via DCHomeQuest.com, or follow her on Facebook at TheRealst8ofAffairs.Ā 

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Advice

My partner wonā€™t come out to her parents

How to cope when you love someone whoā€™s closeted

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Donā€™t judge too harshly when a partner refuses to come out to parents. (Photo by Wavebreak Media/Bigstock)

Dear Michael:

Iā€™m having a terrible communication problem with my girlfriend. She just isnā€™t hearing me on some issues that mean a lot.

Nicki doesnā€™t get why itā€™s important for me that we be out to her parents as a couple. Iā€™ve explained my position over and over. Iā€™m not willing to hide or pretend, and doing so makes things way more complicated down the road, if we stay together. Eventually weā€™d have to explain our lies. Itā€™s crazy to imagine hiding our marriage, or hiding children. More than crazy!

How can you be believable about anything if you arenā€™t honest about who you are and the nature of your relationship?

Nickiā€™s whole response boils down to her being afraid that her parents will reject her (theyā€™re deeply religious, conservative). Me trying to explain to her that you canā€™t let fear run your life just doesnā€™t penetrate her brain.

As a result I havenā€™t met her parents yet, and our relationship is a lot more tentative than I would like it to be at this point.

Besides this ā€œbiggie,ā€ there is one other issue that she just doesnā€™t get, no matter how much I explain my position: She makes fun of me a lot ā€” especially when weā€™re out with friends. About all sorts of things. How I dress (too stereotypically lesbian in her view); my interests (same criticism); my supposed inability to cook; my bad driving; my loving my dog too much. And more.

Nicki either says sheā€™s not making fun of me, or says that sheā€™s just kidding around and I am too serious. The more I ask her to stop, the more she tells me to ā€œlighten up.ā€ She just isnā€™t hearing me.

Aside from communication issues around these big topics, we have an otherwise great relationship that I would like to last. However, this stuff isnā€™t acceptable.

What more can I do to communicate more clearly in a way that she will hear me?

Michael replies:

It sounds like youā€™re both making your points loud and clear. You criticize Nicki, and Nicki criticizes you.

Communication means that you say what you want to say to your partner, and you listen when she wants to share something.  It does not mean that you get your partner to agree with you or behave as you want her to.

Even if you think that Nickiā€™s not being out to her parents is crazy, she doesnā€™t have to come out to them.  

Is Nicki open to the idea of eventually coming out to her parents? Mustering the courage to do so can be a slow process. If Nicki would like to work on this, and you are willing to wait, then stay in the relationship and work on being patient and accepting. But if this is a deal breaker issue now, Nicki is not for you.

While you can continue to try to change Nicki, this tactic doesnā€™t seem to be getting you anywhere, except annoyed. You have a lot of power over your own behavior, but little power over how your partner behaves. In other words, you get to be with the person you are with; not a hypothetical ā€œimprovedā€ version that better suits you.

With regard to the teasing issue: I believe that if someone you care about tells you that you are hurting them, itā€™s a good idea to listen. I donā€™t get why Nicki wants to keep behaving toward you in ways that you find painful. Could it be that all of this is linked?

Perhaps Nicki is hurt or annoyed or angry that you wonā€™t accept her not being out to her parents; and is getting back at you for your ongoing pestering by torturing you with criticisms and insults. Or, perhaps your hurt, annoyance, and anger over Nickiā€™s ongoing teasing is leading you to retaliate by continually criticizing her closeted status.

Think of your relationship as a system: When one part of a system changes, it impacts the entire system. If either one of you changes your behavior for the better, you will likely have a positive impact on your relationship. Do you want to make the first move, and see what happens?

You might also begin an ongoing discussion with Nicki about the benefits of being respectful toward each other, listening to each other, striving to understand each otherā€™s points of view, and tolerating that you sometimes see both minor and important issues differently.

But only start that discussion if it makes sense to you that having a decent relationship depends on your continually striving to do these things.

Michael Radkowsky, Psy.D. is a licensed psychologist who works with couples and individuals in D.C. He can be found online atĀ michaelradkowsky.com. All identifying information has been changed for reasons of confidentiality. Have a question? Send it toĀ [email protected].

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