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24 hours of New York marriage equality

Marriage equality has been in effect for over 24 hours in New York state, and hundreds of couples have already taken advantage

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On Sunday, New York state joined five other states and the district of Columbia in treating same-sex couples as equal to opposite-sex couples in state civil marriage.

Despite several protests organized by groups like the National Organization for Marriage and the Westboro Baptist Church, hundreds of couples married in the state of New York in the first 24 hours, 659 couples in New York City alone, according to the marriage equality advocacy group, On Top Magazine. The city had announced that they would allow 764 marriages to occur on Sunday after over 2600 same-sex couples had applied for marriage licences in advance of the July 24 start date. Many cities throughout the state had judges on hand to waive the 24 hour waiting period after applying for a licence to allow couples to marry immediately.

With these first marriages, New York becomes the most populous state to offer marriage equally to same-sex and opposite-sex couples.  The bill was able to pass a Republican-controlled Senate thanks to the inclusion of very specific language in the legislation, carefully spelling out broad religious exemptions serving to ease the fears of religious institutions and organizations worried they could be sued or punished for refusing to recognize the marriages if the unions are not recognized by their particular institution. In most states, these exemptions are implied, but the additional care applied in the state Senate to defining these exemptions quelled the fears of some undecided lawmakers worried about fallout from religious groups. The bill passed the Senate June 24, 33-29 and was signed by the Governor just before midnight. Four Republicans supported the bill, and only one Democrat opposed.

Even some couples in the District, where same-sex marriage has been legal for over a year, plan to travel to wed in New York, where friends and family may be waiting to celebrate with them.

In locations throughout the state, same-sex couples vied for the title of “first” to be married in the state, exchanging vows at 12:01 a.m. in most cases.

Phyllis Siegal, 76, and Connie Kopelov, 84, — who have been together for 23 years — were the first couple married in New York City at 9:02 a.m. in Manhattan. Phyllis exchanged vows with Connie, who was in a wheelchair during the ceremony, but stood to address reporters with the help of a walker.

“These are two independent people who are joining together because they can see and they can feel how much better their lives will be,” city clerk Michael McSweeney said as the couple exchanged vows. “We are grateful that they are allowing us to share this truly momentous ceremony with them.”

Meanwhile, Kitty Lambert and Cheryle Rudd of Buffalo were the first couple married at Niagara Falls, and mayor Paul Dyster — who is looking to reclaim the city’s spot as world’s ‘Honeymoon Capital,’ according to an Associated Press report — officiated the ceremony that was timed to be completed one second after midnight. The couple exchanged vows on Luna Island with the American Horseshoe falls as a backdrop to their wedding. 46 couples were married Monday at the falls, as they were lit up in rainbow, giving new meaning to the city’s nickname, “The Rainbow City.”

In Albany, another 10 couples married just after the stroke of midnight, joining Kitty Lambert and Chereyle Rudd and others in the early morning celebrations across the state.

Though just in their early twenties, Dee Smith and Kate Wrede could not wait another day to marry. They were among the first same-sex couples in the state married in their middle of the night ceremony at the North Hempstead Town Hall in Manhasset.

According to the New York Post, the other first couples in New York City’s four other boroughs are Michael Faurey, 63, and Bobby Amagna, 65 in Brooklyn, after 20 years together, Greg Levine and Shane Serkiz were the first to marry in Queens, Carmen Hernandez and Doris DeArmas became the first same-sex couple to legally marry in the Bronx, and Bedelia Sanchez and Lavern Rivera — a New Jersey couple — were the first same-sex couple to legally marry on Staten Island.

On Sunday evening, Mayor Michael Bloomberg officiated the nuptials of two close advisers, his chief policy adviser, John Feinblatt, and his now-spouse, the city’s consumer affairs commissioner Jonathan Mintz, at Gracie Mansion, the Mayor of New York’s official residence.

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State Department

State Department implements anti-trans bathroom policy

Memo notes directive corresponds with White House executive order

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(Photo courtesy of the Library of Congress)

The State Department on April 20 announced employees cannot use bathrooms that correspond with their gender identity.

The Daily Signal, a conservative news website, reported the State Department announced the new policy in a memo titled “Updates Regarding Biological Sex and Intimate Spaces, Including Restrooms.”

The State Department has not responded to the Washington Blade’s request for comment on the directive.

“The administration affirms that there are two sexes — male and female — and that federal facilities should operate on this objective and longstanding basis to ensure consistency, privacy, and safety in shared spaces,” State Department spokesperson Tommy Piggot told the Daily Signal. “In line with President Trump’s executive order this provides clear, uniform guidance to the department by grounding policy in biological sex as determined at birth.”

President Donald Trump shortly after he took office in January 2025 issued an executive order that directed the federal government to only recognize two genders: male and female. The sweeping directive also ordered federal government agencies to “effectuate this policy by taking appropriate action to ensure that intimate spaces designated for women, girls, or females (or for men, boys, or males) are designated by sex and not identity.”

The Daily Signal notes the new State Department policy “does not prohibit single-occupancy restrooms.”

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I’m telling the scared little girl I once was it’s okay to feel free

This week is Lesbian Visibility Week

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(Design by Soph Holland)

Uncloseted Media published this article on April 23.

By SOPHIE HOLLAND | At 13 years old, I remember looking in the mirror in my Toronto bathroom and thinking, “Yeah, I’m a lesbian.” At the time, I thought it was a dirty word. Thinking back, it could be because the first time I heard it was when a family member said, “I don’t know what a lesbian is, they are like aliens.”

And although I walked around in camouflage Crocs with a rainbow My Little Pony charm, plaid knee-length shorts and a shark tooth necklace (yes, these are all, in my opinion, stereotypically lesbian apparel!), I didn’t feel like I fit the mold. The longer I thought about it, the worse I felt, so I buried my feelings deep inside.

Now I am 25, and I have been out since I was 22. Three years ago, I never could have imagined that I’d be working for a queer news publication and celebrating Lesbian Visibility Week, an annual event meant to honor and uplift lesbian perspectives and highlight the hardships our community faces. To me, LVW is so important because, frankly, it has been an absolute shit show getting here, to a place where I feel love and joy most days.

I think back to the frustration of constantly being asked, “Do you have a boyfriend?” Of watching princess movies and seeing a broken girl only find herself when her prince charming arrives. I remember listening to music that was always about heterosexual relationships. I remember feeling left out in high school when, one by one, my friends got boyfriends.

I tried the boyfriend, and I tried really hard for it to work at a large detriment to my wellbeing. I brainwashed myself into thinking I was probably bisexual, which I told my closest friends around 16 and unsuccessfully told my parents at the same age. I was probably subconsciously using this as a litmus test of their acceptance and to soothe the anxiety I felt around my sexuality.

Learning to love who I am did not only come from me unraveling my internalized lesbophobia and dissecting the oppressive societal messages of heteronormativity. It came from meeting an awesome community of lesbians and queers. I found people who understood my worldview and who showed me the ropes. I no longer had to stutter over concepts like lesbian loneliness or my frustration with misogynistic straight men.

They all just got it.

Without this community, I am not sure if I could be as warm and confident in myself as I am today.

And while I still experience homophobia, like being spat on while walking with an ex in downtown Toronto or having a stranger yell in my face “Are you fucking lesbians?” in Kensington Market, the joy and love still outweighs the nasty.

So, as the sentimental dyke that I have become, I decided to ask a set of lesbians in my orbit — including my friends as well as Uncloseted staffers, board members and followers — if they would share a little bit about what makes them love being a lesbian. And now, I can share it with all of you. Here they are. Happy LVW!

Timi Sotire

Falling in love with her was a reset. I felt like a kid again, hopeful about the future. We’ve had to overcome many obstacles to be together, but I’d choose her in every lifetime. I was sick with a long-term health condition when we met, and hanging out with Sophia really helped me with my recovery after my surgery.

Bella Sayegh

Being a lesbian is one of the most beautiful things in the world. To be authentically yourself in resistance and joy is so special within the lesbian community.

Parker Wales

When I met Liv, I finally understood why almost every song is about love.

Gillian Kilgour

There is no connection quite as perfect as between lesbians, no one sees me like my lesbians do.

Chyna Price

There’s many things I love about being a lesbian. But here are my top three:

  1. There’s just a deeper understanding when it comes to being loved by another woman.
  2. The next one would be the sense of community, especially being a POC masculine-presenting lesbian. I don’t feel like I’m cosplaying as someone else like I felt like I was doing before I came out.
  3. There’s so much history going back to the 1800s on how we found and fought for our love. That fight makes me proud because it shows me … that we’ve [found] ways to express our love even when it was misunderstood, illegal and deemed as madness.

Hope Pisoni

Before I knew I was a lesbian, romantic relationships seemed suffocating — it felt like everyone would expect me to act my part in the meticulous performance that is heterosexuality. But meeting my spouse and discovering our identities together showed me just how freeing it could be to love without a script to follow.

Leital Molad

It was the joy of watching the New York Sirens defeat the Toronto Sceptres at our first professional women’s hockey game — surrounded by hundreds (maybe thousands?) of cheering lesbians.

Angela Earl

I spent years building a life that looked right. But I never felt settled, and eventually I started asking what would actually make me happy. Coming out was about more than who I love, it was letting go of everything I was told to be. The last few years have felt like coming home to a life that had been waiting for me.

Tali Bray

What I love about being a lesbian is what I love about being in love … the wonder and joy of “oh, this is what it’s supposed to feel like.” I love moving through the world with women.

Izzy Stokes

I didn’t fall in love until I realized that queerness was an option. My queer friends have helped me see so much more than I grew up seeing. I’m so proud of us, and I’m so grateful for my lesbian community.

Nandika Chatterjee

When I met my fiancée is when I started to feel most like myself. That meant loving myself for who I am and embracing my identity as a lesbian. I felt free in a way I have never before. That’s the long and short of it.

Liz Lucking

The love and joy of being a lesbian is getting to live the life I dreamed of but never thought I would get to have!

Reflections

As I read these beautiful entries, it’s not lost on me that we’re still living in a world where lesbians are more likely to struggle with maternity problemsfetishization, and compulsory heterosexuality — not to mention the intersectional pressures of racism from both inside and outside the queer community. That’s part of why, according to a 2024 survey, 22 percent of LGBTQ women have attempted suicide, and 66 percent have sought treatment for trauma.

So if you are a lesbian who isn’t out or doesn’t feel safe, I hope you read this and can glean some hope from these messages. So when you look in the mirror, you know that it’s okay to release the weight — which can feel so heavy — of a heteronormative world.

We still have a long fight until all lesbians can feel safe to be themselves, but this is a community that does not back away from the tough, from the joy, from being loud and from all the other things that it takes to start a small revolution.

Hell yeah, lesbians! Here’s to you.

*I am signing off with my cat on my lap and a pride flag over my head <3.

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Cuba

Trans parent charged with kidnapping, allegedly fled to Cuba with child

Cuban authorities helped locate Rose Inessa-Ethington

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A transgender Pride flag flies over Mi Cayito, a beach east of Havana. Cuban authorities helped locate a transgender woman who U.S. authorities fled to the island with her 10-year-old child who she allegedly kidnapped. (Washington Blade photo by Michael K. Lavers)

Federal authorities have charged a transgender woman with kidnapping after she allegedly fled to Cuba with her 10-year-old child.

An affidavit that Federal Bureau of Investigation Special Agent Jennifer Waterfield filed in U.S. District Court for the District of Utah on April 16 notes the child is a “biological male who identifies as a female” and “splits time living with divorced parents who share custody” in Cache County, Utah.

Waterfield notes the child on March 28 “was supposed to be traveling by car to” Calgary, Alberta, “for a planned camping trip with his transgender mother, Rose Inessa-Ethington, Rose’s partner, Blue Inessa-Ethington, and Blue’s 3-year-old child.”

The affidavit notes the group instead flew from Vancouver, British Columbia, to Mexico City on March 29. Waterfield writes the Inessa-Ethingtons and the two children then flew from Mérida, Mexico, to Havana on April 1.

The 10-year-old child called her biological mother on March 28 after they arrived in Canada. The custody agreement, according to the affidavit, required Rose Inessa-Ethington to return the child to her former spouse on April 3.

“Interviews of MV [Minor Victim] 1’s family members provided significant concerns for MV 1’s well-being, as MV 1 was born a male, however, identifies as a female child, which is largely believed to be due to manipulation by Rose Inessa-Ethington,” reads the affidavit. “Concerns exist that MV 1 was transported to Cuba for gender reassignment surgery prior to puberty.”

The affidavit indicates authorities found a note in the Inessa-Ethingtons’ home with “instruction from a mental health therapist located in Washington, D.C., including instruction to send the therapist the $10,000.00 and instructions on gender-affirming medical care for children.”

The affidavit does not identify the specific “mental health therapist” in D.C.

A Utah judge on April 13 ordered Rose Inessa-Ethington to “immediately” return the child to her former spouse. The former spouse also received sole custody.

“Your affiant believes that due to the extensive planning and preparation exhibited by both Rose Inessa-Ethington and Blue Inessa-Ethington to isolate MV 1 and take MV 1 to Havana, Cuba, without notifying or requesting permission from MV 1’s mother indicates they are likely not planning to return to the United States,” wrote Waterfield.

The affidavit notes Cuban authorities found the Inessa-Ethingtons and the child.

A press release the U.S. Attorney’s Office for the District of Utah issued notes the Inessa-Ethingtons “were deported from Cuba” on Monday “with the assistance of the FBI.”

The couple has been charged with International Parental Kidnapping. The Inessa-Ethingtons were arraigned in Richmond, Va., on Monday. The press release notes a federal court in Salt Lake City will soon handle the case.

The New York Times reported the child is now back with their biological mother.

“We are grateful to law enforcement for working swiftly to return the child to the biological mother,” said First Assistant U.S. Attorney Melissa Holyoak of the District of Utah in the press release.

The case is unfolding against the backdrop of increased tensions between Washington and Havana after U.S. forces on Jan. 3 seized now former Venezuelan President Nicolás Maduro and his wife, Cilia Flores.

President Donald Trump shortly after he took office in January 2025 issued an executive order that directed the federal government to only recognize two genders: male and female. A second White House directive banned federally-funded gender-affirming care for anyone under 19.

The U.S. Supreme Court last year in the Skrmetti decision upheld a Tennessee law that bans gender-affirming care for minors.

Cuba’s national health care system has offered free sex-reassignment surgeries since 2008.

Activists who are critical of Mariela Castro, the daughter of former President Raúl Castro who spearheads LGBTQ issues as director of Cuba’s National Center for Sexual Education, have previously told the Washington Blade that access to these procedures is limited. The Blade on Wednesday asked a contact in Havana to clarify whether Cuban law currently allows minors to undergo sex-reassignment surgery.

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