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Doggone funny read

Odes to the joys and frustrations of being a pet lover captured in new book

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‘I’m Not the Biggest Bitch in This Relationship’
edited by Wade Rouse
New American Library
$14
259 pages

Gays love their dogs. Perhaps in even greater numbers than our straight counterparts since we’re less likely to have children.

As you’ll see in the new book “I’m Not the Biggest Bitch in This Relationship,” a book of short stories edited by Wade Rouse, we’re not the only ones who love our dogs.

Without a doubt, your pooch is a member of your family. She sleeps with you. You share your food with him. You might even dress your dog in better duds than you have in your own closet. The relationship you have with Puppykins might be stronger than most of the ones you have with humans. Surely, you can’t be the only demented dog-lover in the world… can you?

Not by a long shot.

Let’s say you couldn’t ignore the dog that seemed to need you more than anything in the world — but the second you got her home, she turned into a tornado with fangs. If that describes your household, then flip to “Squatting with Stella by Starlight” by Allie Larkin. Think a minute, and you might realize that you need the pup more than vice versa.

Like many puppy parents, you might share a bed with the furkid. But whose bed is it, really?  In “Ménage a Dog” by Alice Bradley, you’ll see that battling Buster for bed real estate is a common occurrence in lots of households.

Can’t tolerate a beggar?  Might as well give up after reading “A Dog Day of Summer” by W. Bruce Cameron because, seriously, how long can you say no to those big, sad, hungry eyes? And how can you resist using babytalk? You can’t, so go ahead — read “Dum-Diddle-Dum-Dum” by Wade Rouse and “There’s No Place Like Home, Judy” by Alec Mapa and know you’re in good company.

Finally, if you ever truly wonder whether that pooping, shedding pile of fur really loves you, then stop and read “Wuzsha, Wuzsha, Wuzsha” by Eddie Sarfaty. And pass the tissues, please.

Are you daft over doggies? Crazy about canines? Moonstruck over mutts? Then you’re going to sit up and beg for this book.

Author and editor Wade Rouse pulled together about 20 authors (counting Chelsea Handler’s dog, Chunk, who wrote the foreword) and comedians to create a treasury that’s definitely funny but that also has its serious side. I howled, I whined, I yipped and I was glad I fetched this book.

If you’re a dog lover (and you must be, if you’ve read this far), you won’t be able to resist reading what’s in here. “I’m Not the Biggest Bitch in This Relationship” is a book to fall head over tail in love with.

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Photos

PHOTOS: ‘Studio 69’

Glitterati Productions hold party at Bunker

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'Studio 69' was held at Bunker on Friday. (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

Glitterati Productions held the “Studio 69” party at Bunker on Friday, May 8.

(Washington Blade photos by Michael Key)

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Arts & Entertainment

Washington Blade’s Pride on the Pier returns June 13 to kick off D.C. Pride week

Pride on the Pier officially launches Pride Week in D.C.

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The Washington Blade’s annual Pride on the Pier celebration returns to The Wharf on Saturday, June 13, 2026 from 4-9 p.m., bringing thousands of LGBTQ community members and allies together for an unforgettable waterfront celebration to kick off Pride week in Washington, D.C.

Now in its eighth year, Washington Blade Pride on the Pier extends the city’s annual celebration of LGBTQ visibility to the bustling Wharf waterfront with an exciting array of activities and entertainment for all ages. The District Pier will offer DJs, dancing, drag, and other entertainment. Alcoholic beverages will be available for purchase for those 21 and older.

“Pride on the Pier has become one of the signature moments of Pride in D.C.,” said Lynne Brown, publisher of the Washington Blade. “There’s nothing like watching our community come together on the waterfront with live music and incredible energy as we kick off Pride week.”

Pride on the Pier is free and open to the public, with VIP tickets available for exclusive pier access to the Dockmaster Building. To purchase VIP tickets visit www.prideonthepierdc.com/vip

Additional entertainment announcements, sponsor activations, and event details will be released in the coming weeks.

Event Details:

📍 Location: District Pier at The Wharf (101 District Sq SW, Washington, DC)
📅 Dates: Friday, 13, 2026 

⏱️ 4-9PM
🎟️ VIP Tickets: www.PrideOnThePierDC.com/VIP

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Theater

National tour of ‘Gatsby’ comes to National Theatre

Out actor Edward Staudenmayer talks playing the show’s gangster

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Edward Staudenmayer plays Meyer Wolfsheim in ‘The Great Gatsby.’ (Photo courtesy National Theatre)

‘The Great Gatsby’
May 12-24
The National Theatre
1321 Pennsylvania Ave., N.W.
$59-$196
Thenationaldc.com

Often dubbed “The Great American Novel” for its depiction of ambition and self-invention alongside the reversals of success, F. Scott Fitzgerald’s “The Great Gatsby” says it all in a fast read. 

Set against the excesses and energy of the Roaring Twenties, “The Great Gatsby,” novel and now the same-titled hit Broadway musical with a jazz/pop original score by Jason Howland and Nathan Tysen, tells the story of Nick Carraway and his friendship with Jay Gatsby, an enigmatic millionaire intent on reuniting with ex-lover, Daisy Buchanan. 

It was during a four-month 2025 run in Seoul, South Korea, that out actor Edward Staudenmayer first played the show’s heavy, Meyer Wolfsheim, a gangster who helped Gatsby make his murkily acquired fortune. As Meyer, Staudenmayer opens the second act with, appropriately enough, “Shady.”  

Now three months into a year-long North American tour, the show is poised to enjoy a brief run at Washington’s National Theatre (5/12-5/24). 

While putting on his eyeliner prior to a recent Wednesday matinee at Chicago’s Cadillac Palace Theatre, the upstate New York-based actor shared about Gatsby and a life in theater. 

WASHINGTON BLADE: Despite your good looks and terrific voice, you’re rarely the leading the man. How is that?

EDWARD STAUDENMAYER: I’m definitely a character man. I’ve been painting lines on my face to play old men since I was in high school. I was the youngest freshman in college playing old Uncle Sorin [in Chekhov’s “The Seagull”]. 

There have been many villains. Some darker than others. Meyer Wolfsheim is a very bad guy, but he doesn’t haunt me once I’m offstage. I play a lot of pickleball. 

BLADE: Is it true that like so many of Fitzgerald’s characters, Wolfsheim is famously based on someone the writer encountered in life. 

STAUDENMEYER: That’s true, Wolfsheim is pretty much a direct portrayal of real-life mobster and 1919 World Series fixer [Arnold Rothstein].

BLADE: When did the 1925 novel first surface on your radar? 

STAUDENMAYER: Like many of us, I was assigned “The Great Gatsby” in high school. It was short, and filled with sex and illicit activities. I thought it was great. Definitely wasn’t a Judy Blume novel. 

Interestingly, the book wasn’t originally a huge a success for Fitzgerald, but because it was about war and having the girl at home, they gave it to GIs leaving for WWII. After returning, a lot of those guys went on the GI Bill and became English teachers. They assigned the book to their students. 

BLADE The idea that the book’s first-person narrator, Nick Carraway, is gay and enamored with Jay Gatsby is long discussed among readers and scholars. Does the musical touch on that?

STAUDENMAYER: Yes, there’s conjecture about Jay and Nick, and it’s implied in our show. It’s also implied about Jordan Baker, Jay’s fleeting romantic interest. Ultimately, she’s a confirmed bachelor, and a professional golfer who only wears pants.  

Our performers are really good. Josh Grasso who plays Nick is fantastic. I’ve had to stop watching him in his last scene; it’s not good for Meyer Wolfsheim to take his curtain call crying. Our Gatsby, Jake David Smith, is good too. He’s gorgeous like Superman and sings like an angel. 

BLADE: Do you ever imagine backstory for your characters whose sexuality is undefined?

STAUDENMAYER: I do, but not with Wolfsheim. I don’t see it. I’m trying to be as butch as possible with this ruthless killer. 

BLADE: Have you had to do that in your career?

STAUDENMAYER: For a long time, I wore a mask to hide my gayness. I worked hard on being believable, that I was into the girl or that I was a tough guy. 

It’s a different world now, and it’s so refreshing to be around the younger actors today; they’re remarkably open and comfortable.

BLADE: What was your coming of age like?

STAUDENMAYER: I played high school football in Palm Springs [he chuckles, alluding to the arid gay mecca], and I was pretty good too. But much to the chagrin of my parents and coaches, I quit the team to act in our senior year play. My super butch dad played semi-pro football and he was an ex-cop. I’m named after him. While I didn’t become my dad, I’ve played him often on stage. He was a true Gaston [the bumptious rival in “Beauty and the Beast”]. And like Gaston, he used antlers in all his interior decorating. 

BLADE: Did he live to see your success in theater?

STAUDENMAYER: He did. Life was challenging growing up but the last 10 years of his life we couldn’t get off the phone with each other [his voice catches with emotion]. He accepted me entirely, and we became very close. 

BLADE: Looking ahead, is there a part you’d especially like to play?

STAUDENMAYER: Like all baritones I’d love to play Sondheim’s “Sweeney Todd.” I’ve come close but it hasn’t happened yet. There’s still time. 

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