Arts & Entertainment
Doggone funny read
Odes to the joys and frustrations of being a pet lover captured in new book
‘I’m Not the Biggest Bitch in This Relationship’
edited by Wade Rouse
New American Library
$14
259 pages
Gays love their dogs. Perhaps in even greater numbers than our straight counterparts since we’re less likely to have children.
As you’ll see in the new book “I’m Not the Biggest Bitch in This Relationship,” a book of short stories edited by Wade Rouse, we’re not the only ones who love our dogs.
Without a doubt, your pooch is a member of your family. She sleeps with you. You share your food with him. You might even dress your dog in better duds than you have in your own closet. The relationship you have with Puppykins might be stronger than most of the ones you have with humans. Surely, you can’t be the only demented dog-lover in the world… can you?
Not by a long shot.
Let’s say you couldn’t ignore the dog that seemed to need you more than anything in the world — but the second you got her home, she turned into a tornado with fangs. If that describes your household, then flip to “Squatting with Stella by Starlight” by Allie Larkin. Think a minute, and you might realize that you need the pup more than vice versa.
Like many puppy parents, you might share a bed with the furkid. But whose bed is it, really? In “Ménage a Dog” by Alice Bradley, you’ll see that battling Buster for bed real estate is a common occurrence in lots of households.
Can’t tolerate a beggar? Might as well give up after reading “A Dog Day of Summer” by W. Bruce Cameron because, seriously, how long can you say no to those big, sad, hungry eyes? And how can you resist using babytalk? You can’t, so go ahead — read “Dum-Diddle-Dum-Dum” by Wade Rouse and “There’s No Place Like Home, Judy” by Alec Mapa and know you’re in good company.
Finally, if you ever truly wonder whether that pooping, shedding pile of fur really loves you, then stop and read “Wuzsha, Wuzsha, Wuzsha” by Eddie Sarfaty. And pass the tissues, please.
Are you daft over doggies? Crazy about canines? Moonstruck over mutts? Then you’re going to sit up and beg for this book.
Author and editor Wade Rouse pulled together about 20 authors (counting Chelsea Handler’s dog, Chunk, who wrote the foreword) and comedians to create a treasury that’s definitely funny but that also has its serious side. I howled, I whined, I yipped and I was glad I fetched this book.
If you’re a dog lover (and you must be, if you’ve read this far), you won’t be able to resist reading what’s in here. “I’m Not the Biggest Bitch in This Relationship” is a book to fall head over tail in love with.
The 2026 Mr. Mid-Atlantic Leather competition was held at the Hyatt Regency Capitol Hill on Sunday. Seven contestants vied for the title and Gage Ryder was named the winner.
(Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

















































Theater
Voiceless ‘Antony & Cleopatra’ a spectacle of operatic proportions
Synetic production pulls audience into grips of doomed lovers’ passion
‘Antony & Cleopatra’
Through Jan. 25
Synetic Theater at
Shakespeare Theatre Company’s Klein Theatre
450 7th St., N.W.
Synetictheater.org
A spectacle of operatic proportions, Synetic Theater’s “Antony & Cleopatra” is performed entirely voiceless. An adaptation of the Bard’s original (a play bursting with wordplay, metaphors, and poetic language), the celebrated company’s production doesn’t flinch before the challenge.
Staged by Paata Tsikurishvili and choreographed by Irina Tsikurishvili, this worthy remount is currently playing at Shakespeare Theatre Company’s Klein Theatre, the same venue where it premiered 10 years ago. Much is changed, including players, but the usual inimitable Synectic energy and ingenuity remain intact.
As audiences file into the Klein, they’re met with a monumental pyramid bathed in mist on a dimly lit stage. As the lights rise, the struggle kicks off: Cleopatra (Irina Kavsadze) and brother Ptolemy (Natan-Maël Gray) are each vying for the crown of Egypt. Alas, he wins and she’s banished from Alexandria along with her ethereal black-clad sidekick Mardian (Stella Bunch); but as history tells us, Cleopatra soon makes a triumphant return rolled in a carpet.
Meanwhile, in the increasingly dangerous Rome, Caesar (memorably played by Tony Amante) is assassinated by a group of senators. Here, his legendary Ides of March murder is rather elegantly achieved by silver masked politicians, leaving the epic storytelling to focus on the titular lovers.
The fabled couple is intense. As the Roman general Antony, Vato Tsikurishvili comes across as equal parts warrior, careerist, and beguiled lover. And despite a dose of earthiness, it’s clear that Kavsadze’s Cleopatra was born to be queen.
Phil Charlwood’s scenic design along with Colin K. Bills’ lighting cleverly morph the huge pyramidic structure into the throne of Egypt, the Roman Senate, and most astonishingly as a battle galley crashing across the seas with Tsikurishvili’s Antony ferociously at the helm.
There are some less subtle suggestions of location and empire building in the form of outsized cardboard puzzle pieces depicting the Mediterranean and a royal throne broken into jagged halves, and the back-and-forth of missives.
Of course, going wordless has its challenges. Kindly, Synectic provides a compact synopsis of the story. I’d recommend coming early and studying that page. With changing locations, lots of who’s who, shifting alliances, numerous war skirmishes, and lack of dialogue, it helps to get a jump on plot and characters.
Erik Teague’s terrific costume design is not only inspired but also helpful. Crimson red, silver, and white say Rome; while all things Egyptian have a more exotic look with lots of gold and diaphanous veils, etc.
When Synetic’s voicelessness works, it’s masterful. Many hands create the magic: There’s the direction, choreography, design, and the outrageously committed, sinewy built players who bring it to life through movement, some acrobatics, and the remarkable sword dancing using (actual sparking sabers) while twirling to original music composed by Konstantine Lortkipanidze.
Amid the tumultuous relationships and frequent battling (fight choreography compliments of Ben Cunis), moments of whimsy and humor aren’t unwelcome. Ptolemy has a few clownish bits as Cleopatra’s lesser sibling. And Antony’s powerful rival Octavian (ageless out actor Philip Fletcher) engages in peppy propaganda featuring a faux Cleopatra (played by Maryam Najafzada) as a less than virtuous queen enthusiastically engaged in an all-out sex romp.
When Antony and Cleopatra reach their respective ends with sword and adder, it comes almost as a relief. They’ve been through so much. And from start to finish, without uttering a word, Kavsadze and Tsikurishvili share a chemistry that pulls the audience into the grips of the doomed lovers’ palpable passion.
Out & About
Love board games and looking for love?
Quirk Events will host “Board Game Speed Dating for Gay Men” on Thursday, Jan. 22 at 7 p.m. at KBird DC.
Searching for a partner can be challenging. But board games are always fun. So what if you combined board games and finding a partner?
Picture this: You sit down for a night of games. A gaming concierge walks you through several games over the course of the night. You play classics you love and discover brand new games you’ve never heard of, playing each with a different group of fun singles. All while in a great establishment.
At the end of the night, you give your gaming concierge a list of the folks you met that you’d like to date and a list of those you met that you’d like to just hang out with as friends. If any two people put down the same name as each other in either column, then your gaming concierge will make sure you get each other’s e-mail address and you can coordinate a time to hang out.
Tickets cost $31.80 and can be purchased on Eventbrite.
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