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Gay advice columnist has new MTV sex show
Dan Savage chats with a young gay University of Maryland student about his sex life in an early episode of ‘Savage U,’ a new MTV sex advice show. (Photo courtesy MTV)
The Blade caught up with Dan Savage last week — he’s plugging his new MTV show “Savage U” (Tuesdays at 11 p.m.) and took a few minutes out of a dizzying schedule of writing advice columns, editing newspapers, hosting the new show and being an anti-bullying advocate — in addition to being a family man — to riff on this and that.
BLADE: There’ve been so many cable sex advice shows over the years — the old MSNBC shows, Sue Johanson and even MTV’s own “Loveline” with Dr. Drew and Adam for those of us old enough to remember it. What can yours add that hasn’t been done before or does every generation need its own sex advice show?
SAVAGE: Hopefully what I bring to it is what I bring to “Savage Love” (his syndicated advice columnist which runs locally in City Paper) — a sex-positive, kink-positive take and one that embraces pleasure as a legitimate goal that celebrates people’s desire. A lot of what I’ve seen is really kind of sex negative that starts first with no, then with maybe. “Savage Love” works its way from maybe to yes to yes, definitely … there’s a school of thinking that says, “Oh my God, you can’t have sex if there’s any risk,” but there’s risk in all kinds of things. What needs to be discussed is how to mitigate the risk as much as possible but then at a certain point yes, you have a right to go for it. You also have to be able to shoulder the consequences. … There’s always a risk but you don’t hear people advocating against sky diving or snowboarding. There’s a whole bunch of people who will drop dead today from eating chicken salad and yeah, you’d be an idiot to leave it out in the sun for three days and then eat it, so we can apply that same brainy shit to sex.
BLADE: How do you get these college students to go on the air and say, “I have herpes” or “I’m a virgin.” Are you involved in finding them or do producers do that?
SAVAGE: There are producers who do that ahead of time. I need to be hearing about their stories for the first time when we film, so there are layers of producers who vet them ahead of time. There are a lot of old farts like me who think YouTube and Facebook and Twitter and all that is something new and always will be, but for somebody who’s 19 and basically grew up with this stuff, they have different attitudes about privacy … we’ve started some taping and then stopped ….
BLADE: Why? What would be an example of someone whose story shouldn’t be aired?
SAVAGE: This was someone who obviously had a deeper-seated medical issue that became evident on camera and we felt talking about the issue would have unfairly outed the person and would have been kind of dishonest so we unplugged the mics … we try to be honest and honor the kids without exploiting anyone.
BLADE: You seem so much nicer on the show than in your column where you often seem very exasperated and caustic. Why?
SAVAGE: Well I told someone in the premiere episode they were an idiot so I’m a little caustic here and there on the show but I think in the column, some of it is having to boil so much down to fit the space that it can make me seem more caustic and sarcastic than I am. I’ve had people say for the podcast I seem so much nicer but that’s the benefit of being able to run my mouth. It’s a different venue … also on the show, I’m a lot more willing to cut these kids some slack because they’re 18. I’m a lot more patient with an 18-year-old fuck up than I am with a 38-year-old fuck up. It’s like of course you’re fucked up when you’re 18 because 18 is fucked up anyway.
BLADE: Are you of the school of thought that a Santorum nomination would have been better for Obama than a Romney nomination or does any Santorum success cause you to shudder?
SAVAGE: I agree with Bill Maher on that — I don’t trust the American people enough to have (had) Santorum be the nominee. This is a country that elected Bush, at least once, he stole it the first time, but I would take Romney over Santorum though they’re two bars set so low they’re basically on the floor.
BLADE: What is the most pressing sex question you see from gay men?
SAVAGE: Male fear of intimacy is real and so it’s doubled with gay men. That comes up a lot. I also hear from young gay guys, like 15, 16, 17, 18 who say there’s no one for them to date. Their straight peers have been dating since the middle school dances but they’ve been alone or they say there are only older gay guys to date and I tell them dating starts later a lot of times for us so they don’t have a lot of options. Also monogamy comes up a lot. Gay guys are also guys so often it becomes an issue of non-monogamous relationships that are grounded in trust and disclosure rather than lying and cheating and running around.
BLADE: How do you have time to add a show to your busy schedule?
SAVAGE: Terry is a stay-at-home dad — that hetero-normative model of having a stay-at-home wife, that shit is awesome if you can afford it. We’re lucky in that regard.
Fairfax City Pride was held at the Sherwood Center (3740 Blenheim Blvd., Fairfax, Va.) on Saturday, June 6.
(Washington Blade photos by Michael Key)
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D.C. prepares to party as Pride celebrations kick off Saturday
Bars, clubs have busy lineups; Pride on the Pier returns
Capital Pride’s date change isn’t slowing down the festivities. Back in December, the Capital Pride Alliance shifted the calendar for Pride celebrations in the nation’s capital from the second weekend of June to two weeks later to the weekend of June 20-21 to not conflict with President Trump’s birthday and 250th anniversary of America celebrations, with the aim that “our community can gather safely and without unnecessary barriers… We are protecting our space and preserving Pride as a powerful act of visibility, solidarity, and resistance.”
On the heels of WorldPride last year, the city shows no sign of slowing down. Instead, restaurants, bars, clubs, and neighborhoods are taking the opportunity to be even more visible. The Blade has put together a (non-comprehensive) list of parties, activations, and activities across town:
Pride on the Pier returns on Saturday, June 13 to the Wharf on the Southwest waterfront. The event, sponsored and hosted by the Washington Blade, is free and runs from 4-9 p.m. There will be vendors, DJs, and drag performances all day. VIP tickets are $25 and come with air conditioned party room, private bathrooms, and free cocktail. More details at prideonthepierdc.com.
Capital Pride Official Opening Party: RIOT! is the official opening dance party of Capital Pride, taking place Friday June 19, 9 PM-3AM. The 2026 edition headlining performer is Myki Meeks, a finalist of “RuPaul’s Drag Race” season 18; Bob The Drag Queen will perform a special set. DMV-area DJs and performers include: Bambi, Baphomette, Bumper, Cake Pop!, Connor, DJ Ed Bailey, DJ Diyanna Monet, Evry Pleasure, Jakknife Complex, Mari Con Carne, Pussy Noir, WessTheDJ. Trade owner Ed Bailey is producing the event.
Kinetic Presents brings the heat across the entirety of Pride weekend as well. It again is partnering with Capital Pride Alliance to produce four events over four days this Pride, including the Official Main Event on Saturday (the Friday official event is at Echostage). Kinetic’s parties are splayed across various D.C. venues, with special performances, massive productions, shirtless dancers, play zones, dance-forward audio and visuals, and international DJ talent. Thursday, June 18 at 10 PM at District Eagle is Lust, with music by Dan Slater and TOMI. Friday, June 19 at 10 PM is UNCUT XXL Heavy Load, at A.i. Warehouse in Union Market District, with music by Alex Acosta, Felipe Lira & Mitch Ferrino; the party is a “high-octane night of muscular house and tribal rhythms.” Saturday, June 20 at 10 PM brings that official main event, Kinetic Toy Land, at Echostage, with music by GSP & Matt Suave. Alaska Thunderfuck headlines. Sunday evening June 21 at 10 PM closes with discoVERS at SAX. A portion of tickets supports the DC LGBTQ+ community through Capital Pride Alliance.
9:30 Club always comes in clutch for the LGBTQ community. Already in June, it produced Kitty Kat Ball on June 7, and Kiesza performed on June 8. On June 20 at 10 PM, the famed Mixtape party hits the stage, care of gay DJs Shea van Horn and Matt Bailer, who have spun together for coming up on two decades. Mixtape has been held at several venues across the city over those years, and now settled on 9:30 Club for Pride. On June 25 at 7 PM, Big Freedia – the bounce artist from New Orleans – hits the 9:30 Club scene for the eighth time, as part of the Big Freedom Tour.
Crush: New this year from the 14th Street bar is the Pride Pop-Up, sitting pretty in the parking lot at 1820 14th St., N.W., at the corner of Swann Street by the start of the Pride Parade route. Hours are Friday from 2-10 PM and Saturday from 12-10 PM. Friday evening features Grizzly Bear Happy Hour, a DJ will set up shop on Saturday, and for those needing another layer, there’s a Crush merch store. Co-owner Mark Rutstein “has always wanted to throw a party in that parking lot, so he did,” said co-owner Stephen Rutgers. Note that Crush (the bar) will have a cover on Friday and Saturday.
Kiki: Over at Kiki, there’s a full slate of Pride-themed programming all week. Tuesday, June 16 at 9 PM brings karaoke; Wednesday, June 17 at 7:30 PM is trivia; Thursday June 18 at 9PM is “Night of 1000 Tatianna’s Drag Show”, and Friday June 19 at 9 PM brings the Juneteenth Serve Drag Show. Saturday, June 20 at 10 PM, post-parade, is a Pride Dance Party with DJ Lemz. Sunday daytime at 5 PM is the Father Figures Daddy Issues Special Drag Show; and after the festival at 8 PM, DJ Tezrah hits the tapes.
Jane Jane: Right along the parade route, gay-owned Jane Jane has transformed its space into a “No Kings, Yas Queens” activation in a direct response to the America 250th commemorations happening downtown, from the colorful window installation, to merch (including a custom bandana and tank) to disco wig installations. Events include industry night on Mondays, donations to LGBTQ charities, and to-go cocktails during the Pride Parade.
Shaw’s Tavern: Gay-owned Shaw’s Tavern on Florida Avenue celebrates Pride week with a full lineup of themed events, entertainment, and specials, including Pride trivia on Monday, June 15 at 7:30 PM, bingo on Tuesday, June 16 at 8 PM, a cabaret on Thursday, June 18 at 9 PM, Juneteenth Drag Brunch on Friday, June 19 at 12:30 PM, and both a pre-parade brunch (10 AM-4 PM) and post-parade party (5-9 PM) on Saturday, June 20. Sunday, June 21 at 7 PM brings Mama’s Sunday Supper & Drag Pride Show in the evening for anyone who is still awake.
Trade: This classic has a weekend of events, starting on Thursday, with Tiburon Pride Edition, a Latin Dance party in the Shark Tank. On Friday, the bar opens early (at 2 PM), with all-day happy hour and the Jx&Evry Show. On Saturday, the bar opens at noon, offering a prime parade viewing spot from its windows. There will be the CLASH drag show hosted by Tatianna and Crimsyn, and Sweet Spot party that night. On Sunday, the bar opens for normal hours at 2 PM, with DJs Adam K, Alex Love, and WESSTHEDJ.
Pitchers: The multi-level bar in Adams Morgan is hosting a Pride-themed show on Thursday, June 18 at 10 PM, with drawstring bag giveaways – the only kind of bag that will be allowed into the bar during Pride weekend. The show features drag queen Kyle Sonique Love.
Barrel House Cafe and Bar: Also by the parade route on 14th Street, Barrel House Cafe takes advantage of its large patio to have a slate of events during Pride week, including Schism, a drag and burlesque show on June 18 at 10 PM, as well as an all-day Pride party coinciding on parade day.
Bunker: Bunker again plays host to a series of afters. Friday night (Saturday 3:30 AM) is Unhinged, and Saturday night (Sunday 3:30AM) is Unholy. The regular Saturday night party (10 PM) brings in Venetian and Tiara Missou. All parties have cover charges.
District Eagle: Beyond the Kinetic party on Friday, June 19 brings Gear Night at 10 PM; Saturday, June 20 at 10 PM is LOBO presents PRISM, and Sunday, June 21 is Sundaze wit Papi at 6 PM.
African Art Museum: On Thursday, June 18 at 5 PM, this Smithsonian museum is hosting a free event with artists and curators celebrating its exhibit, “Here: Pride and Belonging in African Art,” “based on years of close collaboration and dialogue with African visual art practitioners who claim belonging in the LGBTQ+ community, however they define those terms,” according to the museum.
KNEAD Hospitality & Design: The gay-owned KNEAD restaurant group (including spots like Gatsby, Mi Vida, Succotash The Grill) is featuring the GLITTERATI cocktail, made with Tito’s, St-Germain Elderflower, Butterfly Flower, ginger, and yes, glitter. A portion of proceeds from every Glitterati cocktail sold will benefit The Trevor Project. The cocktail will be sold throughout June.
The Fountain Inn is partnering with Rhodium spirits (Rhode Island’s first LGBTQ+ owned distillery) all month, making cocktails like gimlets and espresso martinis featuring Rhodium’s liquors. Proceeds benefit SMYAL, an organization dedicated to empowering LGBTQ+ youth.
Hard Rock Cafe: Hard Rock DC is taking part in the chain’s annual “LOVE OUT LOUD” campaign, with Pride merch, specials on June 20, and a donation to The Trevor Project.
The D.C. Front Runners held the 14th annual 5K Pride Run at Congressional Cemetery on Saturday, June 6.
(Washington Blade photos by Michael Key)
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