Arts & Entertainment
Savage views
Gay advice columnist has new MTV sex show
Dan Savage chats with a young gay University of Maryland student about his sex life in an early episode of ‘Savage U,’ a new MTV sex advice show. (Photo courtesy MTV)
The Blade caught up with Dan Savage last week — he’s plugging his new MTV show “Savage U” (Tuesdays at 11 p.m.) and took a few minutes out of a dizzying schedule of writing advice columns, editing newspapers, hosting the new show and being an anti-bullying advocate — in addition to being a family man — to riff on this and that.
BLADE: There’ve been so many cable sex advice shows over the years — the old MSNBC shows, Sue Johanson and even MTV’s own “Loveline” with Dr. Drew and Adam for those of us old enough to remember it. What can yours add that hasn’t been done before or does every generation need its own sex advice show?
SAVAGE: Hopefully what I bring to it is what I bring to “Savage Love” (his syndicated advice columnist which runs locally in City Paper) — a sex-positive, kink-positive take and one that embraces pleasure as a legitimate goal that celebrates people’s desire. A lot of what I’ve seen is really kind of sex negative that starts first with no, then with maybe. “Savage Love” works its way from maybe to yes to yes, definitely … there’s a school of thinking that says, “Oh my God, you can’t have sex if there’s any risk,” but there’s risk in all kinds of things. What needs to be discussed is how to mitigate the risk as much as possible but then at a certain point yes, you have a right to go for it. You also have to be able to shoulder the consequences. … There’s always a risk but you don’t hear people advocating against sky diving or snowboarding. There’s a whole bunch of people who will drop dead today from eating chicken salad and yeah, you’d be an idiot to leave it out in the sun for three days and then eat it, so we can apply that same brainy shit to sex.
BLADE: How do you get these college students to go on the air and say, “I have herpes” or “I’m a virgin.” Are you involved in finding them or do producers do that?
SAVAGE: There are producers who do that ahead of time. I need to be hearing about their stories for the first time when we film, so there are layers of producers who vet them ahead of time. There are a lot of old farts like me who think YouTube and Facebook and Twitter and all that is something new and always will be, but for somebody who’s 19 and basically grew up with this stuff, they have different attitudes about privacy … we’ve started some taping and then stopped ….
BLADE: Why? What would be an example of someone whose story shouldn’t be aired?
SAVAGE: This was someone who obviously had a deeper-seated medical issue that became evident on camera and we felt talking about the issue would have unfairly outed the person and would have been kind of dishonest so we unplugged the mics … we try to be honest and honor the kids without exploiting anyone.
BLADE: You seem so much nicer on the show than in your column where you often seem very exasperated and caustic. Why?
SAVAGE: Well I told someone in the premiere episode they were an idiot so I’m a little caustic here and there on the show but I think in the column, some of it is having to boil so much down to fit the space that it can make me seem more caustic and sarcastic than I am. I’ve had people say for the podcast I seem so much nicer but that’s the benefit of being able to run my mouth. It’s a different venue … also on the show, I’m a lot more willing to cut these kids some slack because they’re 18. I’m a lot more patient with an 18-year-old fuck up than I am with a 38-year-old fuck up. It’s like of course you’re fucked up when you’re 18 because 18 is fucked up anyway.
BLADE: Are you of the school of thought that a Santorum nomination would have been better for Obama than a Romney nomination or does any Santorum success cause you to shudder?
SAVAGE: I agree with Bill Maher on that — I don’t trust the American people enough to have (had) Santorum be the nominee. This is a country that elected Bush, at least once, he stole it the first time, but I would take Romney over Santorum though they’re two bars set so low they’re basically on the floor.
BLADE: What is the most pressing sex question you see from gay men?
SAVAGE: Male fear of intimacy is real and so it’s doubled with gay men. That comes up a lot. I also hear from young gay guys, like 15, 16, 17, 18 who say there’s no one for them to date. Their straight peers have been dating since the middle school dances but they’ve been alone or they say there are only older gay guys to date and I tell them dating starts later a lot of times for us so they don’t have a lot of options. Also monogamy comes up a lot. Gay guys are also guys so often it becomes an issue of non-monogamous relationships that are grounded in trust and disclosure rather than lying and cheating and running around.
BLADE: How do you have time to add a show to your busy schedule?
SAVAGE: Terry is a stay-at-home dad — that hetero-normative model of having a stay-at-home wife, that shit is awesome if you can afford it. We’re lucky in that regard.
Blog #1: I was excited about my trip even though Gate 1 Travel notified me there was a change in the itinerary. France decided to close the Burgundy canal for long overdue repairs, so we would be traveling on the C. du Rhone au Rhin. I boarded my Air France flight arriving in Paris on time. Contrary to what I was told to expect, customs went really smoothly.
Day 1: Because customs went quickly, I waited 45 minutes for my pre-arranged driver, to take me to the Gare de Lyon, where I boarded my fast-train to Lyon. A two-hour trip. In Lyon it was a long walk to the hotel, The Radisson Blu, but only because I exited the station on the wrong side. Finally got there, checked into a room on the 36th floor with a spectacular view of Lyon. Then took a stroll around the area, a short nap, and finally it was time for dinner and to meet the rest of the traveling party. There would only be 13 of us in the group. Five of us from D.C./Rehoboth, and eight others. I met our guide Patricia, who is from Portugal, and spoke fluent French and English. She is charming, and clearly very knowledgeable. She worked with Gate 1 for many years. We stayed at the hotel for our welcome dinner. It was a great meal, and over drinks, each of us was asked to introduce ourselves to the group. Aside from the five of us, there were three women traveling alone, one gentleman alone, and two couples. They were from New Jersey, New York, Florida, Houston, and Nebraska. I was sitting across from the woman from Nebraska. Conversation at dinner was pleasant but I quickly realized one person was apparently a MAGA. Wonder if you can guess where she was from, lol. But we also found if we didn’t talk politics, which we agreed not to do, things were fine. After dinner we all headed to our rooms for a good night’s sleep.
DAY 2: We woke to beautiful weather. I headed to the included breakfast at the hotel, which was really very good. After breakfast we boarded a bus for a tour of Lyon. We had a full-size bus for just the 13 of us. Our guide for the half day tour, was Vincent, and he is charming and young, and told us his fiancé lives in Lyon. He was incredibly knowledgeable. We began at the Basilica, which is being repaired on the outside, but the inside is, wow! Incredible stained glass, and there was a service going on in one of the smaller side chapels which I l listened to for a bit. The Basilica is high on the hill and the views of Lyon are spectacular from there. Then we headed to the old city and walked around for an hour, ending up at the smaller cathedral. Directly in front of it they had set up a great market, mostly food, which would be there for a week. Lyon is a foodie paradise, with, we were told, a restaurant, or at least coffee shop, for every 250 people. We then had a choice of staying in town, or going back to the hotel on the bus, which I did. The afternoon and evening were free time to do as we pleased. I headed to the Les Halles du Lyon Paul Bocuse, named after the famous chef, to take a look around. It is a large market with small restaurants connected to most of the stalls. It was charming. I then headed to the huge three-story mall across from our hotel and walked around for an hour. Then caught up on some emails, and writing, and met my friends, Paul and Martin, John and Dan, for dinner at 6. We went to a really nice Bistro, which John had found, two tram stops away from the hotel, and enjoyed some drinks and a relaxed dinner. The owner of the place found us a waitress who spoke great English, which made ordering really easy. After a two-hour great meal, we headed back to the hotel. Riding a tram in Lyon is easy, you just need to use your credit card. It is an honor system. Back at the hotel I headed to my room and packed, our luggage had to be outside the door by 8:00 am the next morning. I set my alarm for 6:30 so I had time to eat at the buffet breakfast. Then it was on the bus to head to our barge.
Baltimore
This John Waters interview has been edited for readability — but perhaps not human decency
Pope of Trash dishes on Trump, plane etiquette, last meal, and more
By WESLEY CASE | At 80 years old, John Waters is still the ideal dinner guest — incisively sharp, quick-witted and funny as hell.
The chic Baltimore native proved it again and again in a recent Zoom interview, calling from his summer home in Provincetown, Mass.
The occasion was the Blu-ray releases of two of his movies — the 1977 dark comedy “Desperate Living” and his enduring 1988 musical “Hairspray” — on June 23 by the Criterion Collection, which publishes restorations of films it deems culturally important. The Criterion stamp of approval has become the gold standard among cinephiles.
“It’s like getting an award,” said Waters, who wrote and directed both films.
The rest of this article can be read on the Baltimore Banner’s website.
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