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Best of Gay D.C.: People

Blade readers vote for their favorite people in the Washington LGBT community

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Holly Twyford, Studio Theatre, Dirt, gay news, Washington Blade
Tom Goss, music, gay news, Washington Blade, Best of Gay D.C.

Best Musician: Tom Goss (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

Best Musician: Tom Goss

Ba'Naka, Town, gay news, drag queen, Washington Blade, Best of Gay D.C.

Best Drag Queen: Ba’Naka Deveraux (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

Best Drag Queen: Ba’Naka Devereaux
Ladies of Town

Liz Warner-Osborne, fitness, Washington Blade, gay news, Best of Gay D.C.

Best Personal Trainer: Liz Warner-Osborne (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

Best Personal Trainer: Liz Warner-Osborne

Jeffrey Johnson, Washington Blade, gay news, Best of Gay D.C.

Best Actor: Jeffrey Johnson (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

Best Actor: Jeffrey Johnson
AKA Special Agent Galactica

 

Holly Twyford, Dirt, Studio Theatre, Washington Blade, gay news, Best of Gay D.C.

Best Actress: Holly Twyford (Photo courtesy of Studio Theatre)

Best Actress: Holly Twyford

Brent Minor, Team DC, Washington Blade, gay news, Best of Gay D.C.

Committed Activist: Brent Minor (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

Most Committed Activist: Brent Minor

Barney Frank, Democratic Party, Washington Blade, gay news, Best of Gay D.C.

Best Gay Politician: Barney Frank (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

Best Gay Politician: Rep. Barney Frank

U.S. House of Representatives (D-Mass.)

Julie Oleson, Baltimore Charm, Washington Blade, gay news, Best of Gay D.C.

Best Amateur Athlete: Julie Oleson (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

Best Amateur Athlete: Julie Oleson 

Julie Oleson is a rookie tight end who’s been training with the Baltimore Charm of the Lingerie Football League for the past seven months (final cuts are made before the start of the next season). Oleson says she was, “humbled enough being nominated for the award of ‘Best Amateur athlete’ and is blown away winning it.”

The Baltimore Charm is a third year franchise of the Lingerie Football League. The league is made up of several seven-on-seven women’s tackle football teams. Mitch Mortaza created the LFL in 2009 and games can be watched on MTV 2 on Friday nights. The Charm joined the league for the 2010-2011 season and last year they finished the season with a 2-2 record. Of course they are hoping to get past that .500 mark this season. The Charm plays their home games at First Mariner Arena in Baltimore. (JH)

Baltimore Charm

Brandon Hoover, Zoe salon, Best of Gay D.C., gay news, Washington Blade

Best Stylist: Brandon Hoover (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

Best Stylist: Brandon Hoover — Zoe Salon and Spa

Brandon Hoover has been working at ZOE Salon and Spa in Fairfax for three-and-a-half years.

“It’s great,” he says of winning this award. “I’m amazed at how many D.C. residents come to Fairfax to see me.”

His favorite part of being a stylist is the client interaction and the creative outlet it gives him. Many of his clients leave looking completely different after each visit.

“I love encouraging self confidence and making beautiful women even more beautiful,” Hoover says.

This comes to light when he mentions the Pink Hair for Promise program that Zoe is participating in. From now until Feb. 2013, clients can pay $10 to get a pink hair extension, $9 of which goes toward the D.C. Breast Cancer walk. Last year the salon raised $19,000.

In the short time he’s been at Zoe, he has been featured in a national hairstyling collection, and been nominated for a Trend visions award in photo editorial and hair editorial.

If Hoover could do any celebrity’s hair, it would definitely be Lady Gaga.

“Hands down. I am the biggest little monster.” (JE)

Zoe Salon and Spa
11906 Lee Jackson Memorial Hwy
Fairfax, Virginia 22033

Ray Gernhart, realtor, Washington Blade, gay news, Best of Gay D.C.

Best Realtor: Ray Gernhart (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

Best Realtor: Ray Gernhart

Ray Gernhart has been in the real estate business for 25 years. He started in 1985 and since then has coordinated thousands of home sales. He specializes in residential and commercial sales in the D.C., Alexandria and Arlington areas.

He has earned top honors in many areas including a Lifetime Achievement Award, Re/Max Hall of Fame member, Re/Max Platinum Club and the $20 Million Plus Sales Producer since 1999 with the Northern Virginia and Greater Capitol Area Association of Realtors.

Gernhart’s office is located at 5100 Leesburg Pike in Alexandria and he and his team are members of the Re/Max Allegiance.

For more information on Gernhart and his team, visit talktoray.com. (JE)

Ray Gernhart and Associates
5100 Leesburg Pike
Alexandria, VA 22302

Chuck Bell, NBC4, Washington Blade, gay news, Best of Gay D.C.

Best LGBT TV Personality: Chuck Bell (Washington Blade photo by Jonathan Ellis)

Best LGBT TV Personality: Chuck Bell – NBC4

Chuck Bell has been a meteorologist at NBC4 in D.C. since October 2004.

“It’s fascinating that I would be recognized for that,” Bell says of winning this award. “It’s very flattering. I’m pleasantly surprised that people are taking note. I’m very excited by it.”

His most memorable local weather event was the blizzard in February 2010.

“For better or worse, I’m a weather extremes person. I like it most if it’s a record high or record low, record rainfall or record snowfall,” Bell says. “I realize that every day can’t be a record … My favorite weather is always going to be the weather that most people don’t like.” (JE)

Brock Thompson, Library of Congress, Washington Blade, gay news, Best of Gay D.C.

Best Hill Staffer: Brock Thompson (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

Best Hill Staffer: Brock Thompson

Brock Thompson has been working at the Library of Congress since the day after President Obama’s inauguration. He previously worked in the Senate.

“Having your finger on the pulse of the political atmosphere and political scene,” Thompson says is the best part of working on the Hill. “With the Library, it’s the nation’s oldest cultural institution so we get to promote and display our national treasures for everyone to see and enjoy. I never get tired of doing that.”

He’s president of the Library’s LGBT employees group, LC GLOBE. The group has increased membership and programming. The group has also started a rare book fund for rare LGBT books and materials to be added to the library’s LGBT collection.

His book, “The Un-Natural State: Arkansas and the Queer South,” a study of gay and lesbian life in Arkansas in the 20th century, was published in 2010 and can be purchased at Amazon. He is also a member of the Rainbow History Project’s board of directors, which he joined in 2011. (JE)

David Aponte, George Washington University, Washington Blade, gay news, Best of Gay D.C.

Best Student Leader: David Aponte (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

Best Student Leader: David Aponte — George Washington University

Virginia native David Aponte became interested in LGBT issues after learning what some teens were going through in school. He had been bullied in elementary and middle school for his religion, because he wasn’t tall and because his fellow students said he acted too intelligent. He wanted to keep others from feeling that pain.

“As a straight ally myself, a lot of us don’t speak up enough for communities that we don’t identify with,” Aponte says. “I think with the LGBT community, there’s a lot going on right now and people don’t understand what’s going on in that community. It’s important that we advocate for that.”

Aponte is the co-chair of GLSEN’s National Advisory Council and is the chair of the Northern Virginia chapter.

Aponte recently hosted an event with GLSEN for the organizations “Ally Week.” The event was mainly for high school students and had an open mic, dinner and dance.

He’s a junior at George Washington University majoring in integrated information science and technology, a special program geared toward people who are already working. (JE)

Best Masseur/Body Worker: Nildo Silva

It’s hard to stick with a fitness regimen. But, working with an experienced certified personal trainer like Nildo Silva can make that hard work seem almost enjoyable.

After a stint at Tranquil Space, Silva is now working at the popular FIT Personal Training Gym in Dupont Circle. He has multiple certifications and has been in the industry for 15 years, having worked in gyms in several countries.

A favorite with LGBT patrons, Silva is praised for both his persistence and his patience. He is noted for being knowledgeable, friendly and approachable and for his ability to work with both novice and experienced clients. He teaches individual and group personal training sessions, calisthenics and aerobics classes, and “Localizada,” a new style of group resistance training. (BTC)

Nildo Silva
FIT Personal Training Gym
1633 Q Street, NW Suite 110
202-255-7814

David Catania, Washington Blade, gay news, Best of Gay D.C.

Local Hero: David Catania (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

Local Hero: David Catania

David Catania made history when he was the first openly gay person elected to D.C. Council in 1997 and he’s been making waves ever since.

Catania was initially elected as a Republican, but he has since broken with the party. In 2004, Catania left the GOP after President George W. Bush announced his support for a constitutional amendment banning same-sex marriage. Catania was decertified as a delegate to the Republican National Convention and announced his support for the Democratic candidate, John Kerry. In September 2004, he became an independent and still serves as an At-Large Council member in that capacity.

Catania is well known for his work on health care, including tackling the HIV/AIDS epidemic, education, housing, public safety and economic empowerment. In 2009, he became the driving force behind a D.C. same-sex marriage bill. The passage of the “Religious Freedom and Civil Marriage Equality Amendment Act” on March 3, 2010 was hailed as both a personal and political victory for the often controversial Catania. (BTC)

David Catania

David Chung, Nellie's Sports Bar, Washington Blade, gay news, Best of Gay D.C.

Best Bartender: David Chung (Washington Blade photo by Pete Exis)

Best Bartender: David Chung

Sadly, this award is being given posthumously — David Chung, who tended bar at Nellie’s, committed suicide in July.

Chung’s friend Zachary Wine said Chung had been battling suicidal tendencies. Wine told the Blade that he decided to publicly discuss Chung’s suicide as a way to help others who may want to take their own lives. “If you care about someone, tell them. If you can’t tell them, show them,” Wine says. “If you can’t show them, make yourself find a way to let the people you care about know, and never stop. I myself am horrible about showing my emotions, but it’s only through being there for someone that we can try to make sure this tragedy doesn’t happen again.”

Friends, family and patrons recalled Chung warmly, remembering his infectious smile and friendly manner. Wine eulogized his friend by saying, “he was one of the most caring individuals I’ve ever had the grace to know. And he carried that not just to the people he was close with, but the people he didn’t know.” (BTC)

DJ Rosie, Rosie Hicks, Washington Blade, gay news, Best of Gay D.C.

Best DJ: Rosie Hicks (Washington Blade photo by Blake Bergen)

Best DJ: Rosie Hicks

Popular DJ Rosie Hicks has a very full dance card these days. On the first Friday of every month she hosts Flirt Fridays at Phase 1 of Dupont. On the third Saturday, she plays for BARE (presented by the Ladies of LURe) at Cobalt. And, on the first, second and third Thursday of each month, she plays for Hip Hop Night at Club Hippo in Baltimore.

The native Baltimore resident is known for spinning a diverse blend of hip hop, top 40 and old school.

In her day job, Hicks works as a special education teacher at the Kennedy Krieger Center, where she “helps children with special needs reach their full potential.” She has a master’s in special education from Johns Hopkins University and an undergraduate degree in electronic media and film from Towson University. (BTC)

Aiden Cox, Drag King, Kings of D.C., Washington Blade, gay news, Best of Gay D.C.

Best Drag King: Aiden Cox (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

Best Drag King: Aidan Cox

Aidan Cox is often described as a drag king stripper and admits he likes to take his clothes off.

“I’m a little different than other drag kings,” he says. “I sometimes do a tribal design on my chest and show the tape that binds my chest and I wear different pairs of little boy underwear. A lot of times I strip down to my underwear.”

Cox began performing in 2009 after reading about drag kings online and watching their videos on YouTube. Then Cox discovered the website for the D.C. Kings. Aidan started talking to Ken Vegas who invited him to attend a meeting.

For Cox, the magic started when he first performed in December 2009. “The stage has made me a new person,” he says. “Once you step into that light you get this amazing rush and you can’t help but want to keep going back for more.”

When not on stage, Cox, who identifies as queer, is working on a degree in counseling and hopes to work as a counselor for LGBT people. (BTC)

Aidan Cox
Dckings.com

Raymond Panas, George Washington University, Washington Blade, gay news, Best of Gay D.C.

Best Educator: Raymond Panas (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

Best Educator: Raymond Panas

Perhaps the best lesson Ray Panas offers his students at George Washington University is his ability to juggle his work as an educator, a researcher and an activist.

The popular instructor started teaching at GW in August 2009. He serves as an assistant professor in the Department of Clinical Research in the School of Medicine and Health Sciences.

As a researcher, Panas worked at the Allegheny County Public Health Labs in Pittsburgh and wrote a primer on AIDS Testing and Counseling for the Allegheny County Health Department. Panas is now director of medical and scientific affairs at Sucampo Pharmaceutical in Bethesda.

As an activist, Panas has been active in a variety of LGBT and HIV/AIDS groups. He has been on the board of Capital Pride since 2009 and currently serves as the organization’s secretary. He is also an active long-time member of Dignity/Washington, a community of LGBT Catholics. Panas was president of the group from 2007-2010. (BTC)

Best Rehoboth Bartender: Christopher Chandler

This was a close contest, with last year’s winner, Jamie Romano of Purple Parrot, and the multi-talented Holly Lane of Café Azafran, finishing just behind winner Chris Chandler of the Blue Moon. A Blue Moon fixture, Chandler (as he’s known to regulars) is known for his friendly smile, an uncanny memory (he’s usually mixing your drink before you order it) and, of course, his CrossFit-honed physique. Whether you visit the Moon on a packed summer weekend or a frigid, quiet February night, Chandler’s usually there to welcome you.

Congratulations, Chandler, but a piece of advice: If you want to retain the title next year, try mastering Jamie’s impressive rainbow shot or belting out show tunes while mixing drinks like Holly. (KN)

Blue Moon
35 Baltimore Ave.
Rehoboth Beach, DE 19971

Katy Ray, Washington Blade, gay news, Best of Gay D.C.

Local Heroine: Katy Ray (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

Local Heroine: Katy Ray

Katy Ray is perhaps best known as a promoter for Phase 1. In that role, she proudly hosts and publicizes events for the country’s longest-operating lesbian bar. She got her start shortly after she moved here from Richmond.

“I was new to D.C. and saw the ad for their karaoke night. It said if you bring 16 friends, you get a $25 bar tab. Well, I know how to network. I set up an event on my Facebook page and decided to make it a Lady Gaga night.”

About 80 people showed up and the night was a great success. Angela Lombardi, manager of Phase 1, asked Ray, a lesbian, if she wanted to host karaoke on a regular basis. Ray said yes, and the monthly event is now a fixture on the D.C. lesbian social calendar. Ray generally organizes each evening around a theme and she is already looking forward to the holiday lingerie party in December.

Ray, who works as a high school teacher by day, established a Gay-Straight Alliance at her school and teaches straight students that they can work as allies. Last summer she worked with LGBT school liaisons from across the city to develop educational materials for the D.C. Public School system. She encourages her students “not to take crap from anyone and to own who they are.” (BTC)

Katy Ray
Phase1dc.com

Joe Palacios, Georgetown, Washington Blade, gay news, Best of Gay D.C.

Best Clergy: Joe Palacios (Washington Blade photo by Jonathan Ellis)

Best Clergy: Rev. Joseph Palacios

Joe Palacios is a Catholic priest on inactive status.

He’s a professor at Georgetown University where he has taught sociology and mentored many young gay men. He is vice president of The Center and celebrates Mass with Dignity Washington and Northern Virginia. Many know him politically from Catholics for Equality with which he worked on the marriage campaign in D.C. and now in Maryland, Maine, Minnesota and Washington State.

Authenticity matters, Palacios says. When entering the seminary at 32 in 1983, he presented himself as gay, celibate and willing to abide by the rules. Years later at Georgetown, he discovered that he was one of very few Latino professors and that there were a lot of gay students on campus. This reinforced his commitment to authenticity in his teaching, ministries, academic research and political activism. To be anything less than authentic, he says, would be shortchanging both himself and those around him in their own quests for authenticity. (PF)

Mara Keisling, National Center for Transgender Equality, NCTE, Washington Blade, gay news, Best of Gay D.C.

Best Trans Advocate: Mara Keisling (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

Best Trans Advocate: Mara Keisling

Mara Keisling once told the Blade that she would walk through hot coals for “anything she believed in.” Her indefatigable pursuit of transgender equality, make us believe her.

As founding executive director of the National Center for Transgender Equality, Keisling (a transgender woman and parent) is one of the country’s leading voices for transgender rights. Her work with the Center (which Keisling helped found in 2003) has involved several prominent achievements including the first-ever trans-inclusive federal legislation, modification of State Department rules for changing gender markers on passports and the first congressional hearing on transgender issues.

In a recent interview with her alma mater, Penn State University, Keisling said, “almost anytime anything gets done for transgender people or for LGBT people, as a whole, we get calls from people saying, ‘Yes, but I still don’t have a job.’”  She and the Center are working to change this. (PF)

Douglas Warren Shantz, Doug Shantz, Nellie's Sports Bar, Washington Blade, gay news, Best of Gay D.C.

Best Businessperson: Douglas Warren Shantz (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

Best Businessperson: Douglas Schantz

Douglas Schantz, a self-proclaimed StairMaster champion, is the owner-operator of Nellie’s Sports Bar, which opened on U Street in 2007.

The win this year came as a surprise to Schantz, especially since he’s doing what he loves.

“I’ve always been an entrepreneur at heart and Nellie’s allows me to express that,” he says.

Schantz opened the bar, named after his great- and great-great grandmothers, with Rocio Anzola-Mendez after becoming friends when they worked together previously.

“I’m very in touch with my family’s genealogy,” Schantz says about the name, his favorite thing about the bar. “It seemed like a fun and natural fit.”

It’s to be expected that if any of the local teams has a televised game — professional or collegiate — it will be shown at the bar and big events, such as playoff games and tournaments, will be on the stadium-sized viewing screen. There’s no limit to which sports they’ll show.

“Every sport is my favorite to watch, duh,” Schantz says.

The bar also has regular events such as Drag Bingo, Drag Brunch, “Beat-the-Clock” happy hour, “Golden Girls” watch party and more.

Before opening Nellie’s, Schantz worked at advertising agencies in Chicago, New York, San Francisco and Washington. (JE)

Nellie’s Sports Bar
900 U St., N.W.
202-332-6355

Brett Johnson, Cobalt, Washington Blade, gay news, Best of Gay D.C.

Best Straight Ally: Brett Johnson (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

Best Straight Ally: Brett Johnson

Brett Johnson started working at Level One about three years ago as a server. She steadily worked her way up the ranks becoming a bartender, then assistant manager and finally general manager.

Through her job, she meets and interacts with people all the time.

“A lot of this year has been hard on a lot of my friends and a lot of my clients or customers … we’ve become really close and we’re there for each other … it’s kind of an award that validates everything that happened,” Johnson says. “I really appreciate it. I love the people that voted for me.”

She says that interaction and even the interaction between customers is one of the best parts of working at the restaurant. She once had a friend take a customer to JR.’s because he wanted to go, but didn’t want to go alone.

“They meet the staff and they meet other people sitting at the bar then they feel completely comfortable going upstairs,” Johnson says. “It just builds a community.”

Johnson became interested in LGBT rights in high school when her older brother came out. She started a gay-straight alliance in her high school and worked on a bullying and harassment policy in Omaha, Neb. She’s worked with several organizations through her job at Level One, including the Mautner Project and the Gay Men’s Chorus. (JE)

Level One
1639 R Street, NW
202-745-0025

 

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Real Estate

Under-the-radar Delaware beach towns smart buyers are targeting

There are other options if Rehoboth prices are scaring you off

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If you want to escape the crowds and nightlife scene of Rehoboth Beach, Sussex County offers plenty of options. (Blade file photo by Daniel Truitt)

Look, we love Rehoboth. We will always love Rehoboth. Queer folks have been flocking there since the 1940s, and with scores of LGBTQ-owned businesses and a Pride calendar packed tighter than the boardwalk in July, “Rehomo” earned its crown fair and square.

But let’s be honest with each other: trying to buy property there right now feels a lot like trying to get a reservation at the one good restaurant in town on a Saturday in August. Everyone wants in, inventory is tighter than your swim trunks after Labor Day brunch, and the prices have officially entered “are you kidding me” territory.

So here’s a thought: What if you didn’t fight the crowd? What if, instead, you let Rehoboth keep doing its glorious, chaotic, glitter-bomb thing and you quietly built your beach life 15 minutes away for considerably less drama and considerably more square footage? Here are four towns ready for their close-up.

Lewes: The Charming Overachiever

Lewes is what happens when a beach town actually has its life together. Historic charm, walkability, proximity to Cape Henlopen State Park, less crowding, and a strong year-round community. Unlike towns that turn into ghost towns after Labor Day, Lewes maintains a real community all year long, which is more than we can say for some situationships.

And right now, the market is practically begging you to make a move. It’s one of the most desirable and stable markets in the county — built for buyers thinking long-term, not flippers, and Sussex County overall has flipped into genuine buyer’s market territory for the first time in years. Translation: you finally get to be the one with leverage. 

Bethany Beach: My Personal Pick

Full disclosure: I own in Bethany. So consider this section a little biased — and also the most honest thing I’ll tell you in this whole article.

When I drive down from D.C., I’m not looking for more of D.C. I love this city, but I also love leaving it — and yes, some of the people in it too (you know who you are, and so do I). Bethany gives me that full exhale. It’s quiet in the way that actually means something: fewer crowds, slower mornings, a soundtrack that’s mostly waves instead of nightlife. It leans hard into its “quiet resort” reputation, with low property taxes and a limited geographic footprint, and it is not the least bit sorry about it. 

But quiet doesn’t mean isolated. I’ve got a genuinely excellent food scene nearby, real shopping, and a string of charming neighboring beach towns — and when I do want a taste of Rehoboth’s energy, it’s a short, easy drive away. I get to choose my dose of chaos instead of living inside it.

And here’s the part that matters most for this article: the price. If you’ve looked at Rehoboth listings and quietly closed the tab in despair, I need you to hear this — you can absolutely afford a beach house. It just doesn’t have to be in Rehoboth. Bethany’s average home value sits around $848,592, which is still real money, no question — but it buys you more house, more land, and more peace than the same budget gets you closer to the boardwalk. Bethany is welcoming too, just without Rehoboth’s decades of built-in queer institutional history — and for plenty of us, that trade-off is more than worth it. 

Fenwick Island: Small Town, Big Flex

Fenwick rarely gets mentioned and, frankly, it should be insulted. It’s tiny, it’s quiet, and it has beach access without the carnival energy. The market data tends to lump it in with Bethany, where single-family oceanfront homes clear $1 million while entry-level condos start in the $600s — proof that “under-the-radar” doesn’t mean “bargain bin,” it means “fewer people fighting you for it.” 

South Bethany: For the Boat Gays

Some of us want sand between our toes. Others want a private dock and a boat named something deeply unserious. South Bethany’s canal communities are built for the latter — water access on both sides, fewer crowds, and a lifestyle that says, “I have a captain’s hat and I am not afraid to wear it.”

The Math Works in Your Favor Now

Here’s the part that should really get your attention: Sussex County’s median sold price has dropped to $440,000, down 3.3% year-over-year, and buyers are routinely closing around 88 cents on the dollar compared to asking price. That’s a far cry from the unhinged bidding wars of 2021 and 2022, when overpaying was basically a competitive sport. Inventory across the county sits at nearly 2,500 active listings — the most of any county in Delaware, meaning you actually get to be picky for once. Revolutionary, we know. 

And no, choosing one of these towns doesn’t mean leaving your people behind. Sussex Pride serves the entire county, not just Rehoboth proper, and CAMP Rehoboth’s resources extend well beyond town limits too. You’re not exiling yourself to the suburbs of queerness — you’re just getting a bigger kitchen, a quieter porch, and a much shorter line for the bathroom. 

Add in the fact that Delaware has no estate tax and some of the lowest property taxes around, savings that genuinely add up over a retirement horizon, and the case writes itself. Rehoboth will always be the beating, sequined heart of queer beach culture in Delaware. But if you’ve been telling yourself a beach house isn’t in the cards — I’m here to tell you it absolutely is. It just might be 15 minutes south, with your own quiet porch, your own salt air, and considerably more room to breathe. 

Have a real estate question or Rehoboth market tip? Reach out to [email protected] for LGBTQ-friendly real estate resources in the Rehoboth area.


Justin Noble is a Realtor licensed in D.C., Maryland, and Delaware with Monument Sotheby’s International Realty. Reach him at [email protected] or 302-897-7499.

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Real Estate

‘Culture eats strategy for breakfast’

Real estate agents must adapt, learn how to manage from within

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A real estate agent is contractually bound to act on their client’s behalf. (Photo by Andy Dean Photography/Bigstock)

“Culture Eats Strategy for Breakfast” was a phrase often repeated in many of my management courses from the University of Illinois. The concept was discussed at length – how the best laid plans can sometimes be supported or derailed by the culture of the people involved in whichever project to be implemented. Whether it be a project to implement new software, roll out a new product or service, or just reaching a sales target, the way the team involved works together can indeed affect the outcome.  

Perhaps this is just another way to say, “teamwork makes the dream work!” Most teams usually have someone who is designated as a leader. The leader can try to lead through authority and control or can alternatively try to lead through influence and encouraging a more collective framework for solving problems.  

Why does this matter when picking the right real estate agent or team to work with? Besides having a job as a salesperson for the brokerage, the real estate agent is contractually bound to act on their client’s behalf. The buyer broker agreement is in place so that the agent and the client can work together as a team in communications regarding offer strategy, during negotiations, implementing marketing plans, as well as selecting which renovations or upgrades to choose before selling a property.  After the property goes under contract, the job isn’t “done”.  There is still work to do.  

At this point, the agents then turn into a project manager of sorts – coordinating communications between the lending team, the title attorneys, the other client’s agents, any governmental agencies that could be involved in down payment assistance or helping to clear a property for a sale, and often times groups like a condo board, a home inspector, or contractors when arranging repairs and estimates before a final walk through. 

In short, the agent takes on somewhat of a “leadership role” in the transaction and ensures that all the ducks stay in a row until the project is complete.  That agent will hopefully be very fluid and forthcoming with their information, copying the required parties on all communications and creating a “paper trail” of who said what or didn’t offer to fix A, B, or C, so that all the minutiae of the contract can be addressed and fulfilled before the settlement date.  The agent often must wear many hats and quickly learn the communication styles of an entire new set of people in a short period.  One person may not return calls for a week after being contacted.  Another person may go on vacation at the beginning of the process and not return emails for two weeks.  Another person may wish to have daily updates of the progress of the process. 

In this way – an agent quickly learns in each transaction that “culture can eat strategy for breakfast.” Because the agent must adapt to a wide variety of communication styles, learn how to “manage from within”, build support for closing the project by the due date, and somehow keep all the interested parties invested, engaged, and responsive.  

Who you work with matters when picking the right person to represent you in your next transaction – so, just remember that “teamwork makes the dream work!”


Joseph Hudson is a referral agent with RLAH. Reach him at 703-587-0597 or [email protected].

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Advice

My boyfriend is almost perfect

But the sex isn’t mind blowing

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Sex tends to change after spending many years with the same partner. (Photo by Rawpixel . com / Bigstock)

Dear Michael,

I’ve been dating Mark for three years, living together for two, and I’m not sure he’s for me. We get along great but I’m questioning how attracted I am to him.

I was never crazy about him physically but he was such a sweet and smart guy that I wanted to date him.

Sex was never mind-blowing and the longer we’ve been together the more this is bothering me. I wonder if I could find someone who appeals to me more, physically.

On the plus side, I like him a lot. He has good values, shares my religious faith, which is hard to find in another gay guy, is responsible and has a good work ethic. Also, I just have fun with him and he’s always interested to hear what’s on my mind.  He’s an all-around decent guy.

As I’m writing this, I’m thinking that he seems great and that I’m a fool for even questioning our relationship. But all my friends are always talking about the amazing sex they are having, and then I think I’m missing out on a key part of life because my sex life is comparatively lackluster.

I don’t want to settle. But how likely am I to find another guy who is as all-around a good catch as Mark, but with more sexual chemistry?

Michael replies:

I don’t think the right approach is to wonder about your chances for of finding someone better. Anyone you find will have things you aren’t crazy about.

For example, you might find someone whom you’re wildly attracted to sexually, but they’ll bore you or annoy you, or have values you don’t respect.

I understand that you aren’t wildly sexually attracted to Mark. The truth is that it’s extremely unlikely that you would remain wildly sexually attracted to anyone for that long. People tend to get used to each other over time. Sex can remain great, but more from closeness and love than heat and sizzle.

I work with people all the time who wonder if there is someone “better” out there. And I tell them, they’re never going to get through all the possibilities before they die. Instead, how about thinking if the guy you are with is someone you’d like to go with on this journey through life?

Mark’s attributes that you mention sound wonderful to me. After more than 30 years working with folks on relationships, and being in my own 30+ year relationship, I have learned a thing or two about what creates a relationship that is satisfying and good. A decent, kind guy with admirable values is an excellent start. 

The question is, can you live with your sex life not being on an orgasmically hot mind-blowing level? I hope the answer is yes, because sex with anyone you pick is not likely to stay in that sort of realm for long.

Another point to consider: I don’t think you should get too caught up in what your friends are telling you. They may be having amazing sex, but are they all having it with the same long-term partner? As I mentioned, long-term sex can be great, but the excitement tends to be replaced by caring connection over time.

I’ll generalize here for a moment: Because so many gay men have many sexual partners, the kind of sex you have with someone new, whom you’re tremendously attracted to, tends to be glorified among gay men as the gold standard of sex. But it’s not realistic for sex with a long-term partner.

This glorification is a big problem: It leaves gay men who are not having torrid sex with lots of guys feeling like there is something wrong with the sex they are having, that they are missing out on something super fantastic. Just like you are feeling.

If you want a lifetime of ongoing hot sex, I don’t think you should be looking for a relationship. If you are willing to accept sex being a not-always fantastic, but perhaps consistently loving, often good, and occasionally great part of life with a kind decent guy, then Mark might just be the right partner for you after all. 

(Michael Radkowsky, Psy.D. is a licensed psychologist who works with couples and individuals in D.C., Maryland, Virginia, New York, and all PSYPACT states. He can be found at michaelradkowsky.com. All identifying information has been changed for reasons of confidentiality. Have a question? Send it to [email protected].)

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