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Confessions of a Pretty Lady

Sandra Bernhard on her live show, her comedic successors and the Prince cover she simply had to do

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Sandra Bernhard, gay news, Washington Blade

Sandra Bernhard
Saturday
8 p.m. (doors at 6)
Howard Theatre
620 T Street, NW
Thehowardtheatre.com
$35 advance, $40 door

By BRIAN WALMER

Sandra Bernhard, gay news, Washington Blade

Sandra Bernhard brings her live show, an evening of stories and songs, to the Howard on Saturday night. (Photo courtesy of Roots Agency)

It’s a busy Monday afternoon for actress/comedian Sandra Bernhard when we talk.

“I’m dealing with lots of business stuff, tons and tons of stuff,” she says, her voice instantly recognizable.

Controversial, sexy, outspoken Bernhard has been a staple in the entertainment world for three decades and shows no signs of slowing down. She continues to appear on various TV shows and tours with her stage show, which is in Washington this weekend. Look for her Saturday night at the newly refurbished Howard Theatre.

In a sense, Bernhard, who’s been out for years, is not a typical comedian. She doesn’t just stand there telling joke after joke, waiting for the audience’s reaction. Instead, she engages the crowd with her views and takes on everything from politics to pop culture and weaves in a selection of songs that drive her point home.

Her current show, “I Love Being Me, Don’t You?,” debuted in 2011 and has evolved dramatically since then, a trend she credits to her constant wave of new ideas and her own boredom.

“Events occur and my life changes, things happen and I fold it in because I’m excited about telling a new story.”

Bernhard was here in 2008 for a three-week engagement at The Jewish Community Center for the 20th anniversary of “Without You I’m Nothing,” a show that helped put her on the map in the late ‘80s.

“It’s always interesting to look back and have a different perspective on what was going on at the time. Bring it into modern day. You of course have to alter it for what’s going on. A lot of it still holds up so I think that’s a great thing.”

She says D.C. audiences are more open minded than other markets.

“Actually I think they’re more informed, that makes them more open minded,” she says. “The last time I played D.C. was that long run at The JCC, so I assume that was sort of the general audience. They were relatively informed and smart as one would expect in D.C. They seemed to be into it. At the same time longing for entertainment, because I’m sure it’s tedious being in that city with all the politics and stuff. I really enjoyed performing there.”

Of her trademark out-of-left-field covers, which previously have included acts as far ranging as Nina Simone to Bob Dylan, AC/DC to Prince, she says she starts with the lyrics.

“It’s always a song that has a great story, lyric that resonates even if it at first it seems kinda hokey or over the top,” she says. “Like a hair metal song. It’s just like a song that I can tap into the emotion and turn it into something sorta different and that’s kinda the criteria for what I do.”

And, as one might expect, with Bernhard, it’s about much more than simply singing a song. One thinks of her recent take on Lady Gaga’s “The Edge of Glory,” which elicits an “exactly” from the comedian.

“You gotta really give the audience what they came to see and what they pay for,” she says. “And never make fun of a song. I don’t like making fun of songs even if they’re sort of laced with irony and I’m bringing something very different to them.”

Later this month, Bernhard will be at Carnegie Hall for a Prince tribute.

“As you know, ‘Little Red Corvette’ is kinda my signature song and when I read about it I called my manager and said, ‘You gotta get me on this, I mean this is insane, this is like my signature song, nobody else can do this,’ so when it all came together I was very excited.”

The mix of comedy and music is more unusual in the performing world than you might initially think. Along the way, Bernhard has recorded four albums of music. She says she’d love to do another studio album and would “love to collaborate with a great producer. But you know you need money and need support and I don’t really have that right now, but I hope I do again.  In the meantime at least when people come see me perform, they know I’m in the pocket.”

The day of our phone chat is the Monday after the Grammys, which Bernhard said she watched just enough of “to know it was really depressing.”

Why?

“The music business is so [pauses] it’ll never be what it was,” she says. “[The  Grammys] tries to keep this illusion alive and it just doesn’t work anymore.”

But with the paradigm shift has come certain freedoms, Bernhard suggests. She maintains a level of control that would be harder to ensure at a major label. Despite the constantly evolving nature of her tour, she says her various live releases still manage to capture enough of each show she does to keep her happy. Look for a release culled from a five-night run she did at Joe’s Pub in New York last year “soon,” she says.

Since Bernhard gets asked constantly about Madonna — everyone remembers her famous cameo in “Truth or Dare” — we took a different route. Of Cyndi Lauper, whom Bernhard joined for a few dates on the singer’s 2006 “Body Acoustic Tour,” she waxes nostalgic with no apparent subtext.

“She’s a great talent and it was fun and interesting,” Bernhard says. “I didn’t do that many shows; it was just the right amount. We knew each other and she needed some support out on the road and they asked if I wanted to do some of the dates and I said ‘Yeah, you know, sure.’”

Bernhard has seen a few episodes of Lauper’s new reality show.

“I think it’s sort of entertaining in a way you know? It’s yeah [pause], I don’t know if she’s happy with it. I’m sure it was sort of a real compromise on her part.”

Is there nobility in the willingness of Lauper — or any star — to put him- or herself out there to that degree?

“I don’t think that’s necessarily enchanting for people,” she says.

And yes, Bernhard considered the idea herself, perhaps to a further degree than many fans may realize. She says her idea for “A Day in the Life of Sandra Bernhard,” she calls a “lightly scripted version of my life” she pitched 18 years ago to HBO, failed to secure a green light.

“They didn’t understand what I was talking about. It was kind of the first and the last of it all.”

A more recent delve into similar terrain — her web show “Comedians Walking and Getting Mani-Pedis,” intended as an answer of sorts, to Jerry Seinfeld’s “Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee,” ended up being “kind of an experiment” that “I wasn’t really happy with.”

Despite guests like Lizz Winstead, Rosie Perez and Wendy Williams, Bernhard says it “didn’t go where I wanted it to go.”

“I came up with the idea of doing a show from the manicuring station but the people who produce it came up with that stupid title and I was totally not into it,” she says.”

It’s on indefinite hiatus.

We dart around to all kinds of topics in our remaining moments and Bernhard, whom, as you might imagine, can be intimidating, is game for it all.

She does confess to a little self-censorship when it comes to whether her soon-to-be-15-year-old daughter, Cicely, is in the audience or not. She knows she’s sometimes mentioned in the act.

“I think sometimes now more than before it’s starting to irritate her,” Bernhard says. “When she’s at the shows, I try not to do certain pieces that I would do when she’s not there. She doesn’t follow me that closely either. Like if I came home with a CD, she’d never sit down and listen to it so I’m not too worried about her staring into the material per se.”

Because so much of her material is autobiographical, she has no plans to write a memoir. She says she’s been frank enough, though she confesses to “semi truthful, semi made up” story telling in her act, to keep her name largely out of tabloids.

Other celebs, she surmises, want it.

“You look at Rihanna and Chris Brown. Obviously they want the publicity. They’re willing to sacrifice their personal happiness, especially her. They got that whole thing going and I think it’s depressing, especially for a woman.  I don’t think it’s necessary to put myself out there in that way.”

Her trademark openness, she says, made her own coming out nearly moot.

“My work always spoke for itself which was all about personal expression, independence and freedom, no matter who or what you are,” Bernhard says. “That’s really where I stand on all of that. What do I need to do that for? I’ve always been comfortable in my own skin.”

Celebs who make their coming out a proclamation or acceptance speech event — Jodie Foster at the Golden Globes is fresh on everyone’s mind — strike Bernhard as excessive.

“I don’t need approval of my peers or my supposed group. You know, I’m not a group kind of person. I find that very self-serving. Who fucking cares anyway?”

Pressed for her comedic successors, she cites the cast of “Bridesmaids” and name checks Melissa McCarthy, Kristen Wiig and Amy Poehler.

“All that kind of grouping of girls who kinda came from the imrpov world are just really smart and funny and talented.”

She calls the late Phyllis Diller, whom she appeared with on Roseanne Barr’s “Roseanne’s Nuts,” “amazing and incredible — I just love her for who she was and all the years she kept at it and was so brilliant. She’s a fabulous person. I’m so glad I got to know her. She was really a cool lady.”

A new book — it would be her fourth — is “on the back burner.” Bernhard says she would need a “bigger platform” than she currently has to make it worth the effort.

There’s only one topic that comes up for which Bernhard is tight lipped.

Though vague, she does admit to a writer friend who “just came up with an idea for me and another actress that’s under development right now,” she says.

Could it be? Brash, outspoken Bernhard declining to elaborate?

For once, mystery prevails and she sounds almost coy.

“I’m really excited about it but I’m not gonna talk about it until it’s really happening.”

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Real Estate

The best U.S. cities for LGBTQ homebuyers in 2025

Where strong equality scores, vibrant culture, attainable prices converge

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Philadelphia is among cities that rank highest for LGBTQ homebuyers. (Photo by sborisov/Bigstock)

Buying a home has always been a landmark of security and self-expression. For LGBTQ+ people, it can also be a powerful act of claiming space in a country where housing equality is still a work in progress. The good news? This year offers more options—and more protections—than ever. A record-breaking 130 U.S. cities now score a perfect 100 on the Human Rights Campaign’s Municipal Equality Index (MEI), meaning their local laws, services, and political leadership actively protect queer residents, reports.hrc.org. Meanwhile, national housing analysts at Zillow expect only modest price growth this year (about 2.6 percent), giving buyers a little breathing room to shop around.

Below are eight standout markets where strong equality scores, vibrant LGBTQ+ culture, and relatively attainable prices converge. Median sale prices are from March 2025 Zillow data.

1. Minneapolis–St. Paul, MN

Median sale price: $317,500  

Twin Cities residents benefit from statewide nondiscrimination laws that explicitly cover sexual orientation and gender identity, a thriving queer arts scene, and dozens of neighborhood Pride celebrations beyond the mega-festival each June. Buyers also appreciate Minnesota’s down-payment assistance programs for first-time and BIPOC purchasers—many LGBTQ+ households qualify.

2. Philadelphia

Median sale price: $227,667   

Philly combines East Coast culture with Mid-Atlantic affordability. “Gayborhood” anchors like Giovanni’s Room bookstore mingle with new LGBTQ-owned cafés in Fishtown and South Philly. Pennsylvania added statewide housing protections in 2024, closing the legal gaps that once worried trans and nonbinary buyers.

3. Pittsburgh

Median sale price: $221,667 

Don’t let the steel-town stereotype fool you—Pittsburgh’s MEI score is 100, and its real-estate dollar stretches further than in comparable metros. Lawrenceville and Bloomfield have become hubs for queer-owned eateries and co-working spaces, while regional employers in tech and healthcare boast top Corporate Equality Index ratings.

4. Tucson, Ariz.

Median sale price: $328,333 

This desert city punches above its weight in LGBTQ+ visibility thanks to the University of Arizona, a nationally ranked Pride parade, and some of the country’s most picturesque outdoor recreation. Arizona’s statewide fair-housing statute now explicitly lists gender identity, giving buyers added recourse if discrimination occurs.

5. Madison, Wisc.

Median sale price: $413,867 

Madison blends progressive politics with a top-five public university and a booming tech corridor. Local lenders routinely promote inclusive marketing, and Dane County offers one of the few county-level LGBTQ+ home-ownership programs in the nation, providing up to $10,000 in forgivable assistance for low-to-moderate-income couples.

6. Atlanta

Median sale price: $359,967 

The cultural capital of the Southeast delivers queer nightlife, Fortune 500 jobs, and a web of supportive nonprofits such as Lost-n-Found Youth. While Georgia lacks statewide protections, Atlanta’s 100-point MEI score covers public accommodations, contracting, and employer requirements—shielding homebuyers who choose in-town neighborhoods like Midtown or East Point.

7. St. Petersburg, Fla.

Median sale price: $354,667 Yes, Florida’s statewide politics are turbulent, but St. Pete has long held firm on LGBTQ+ equality. The city’s Pride festival draws nearly a million visitors, and local ordinances bar discrimination in housing and public services. Waterfront bungalows in Kenwood and more affordable condos near Uptown give first-time buyers options.

8. Denver

Median sale price: $563,500 

Colorado passed some of the nation’s strongest gender identity housing protections in 2024, and Denver’s queer community remains one of the most visible in the Mountain West. Although prices run higher, buyers gain exceptional job growth and one of the country’s largest Gay & Lesbian Chambers of Commerce.

Smart Strategies for LGBTQ+ Buyers & Sellers

1. Build Your Dream Team Early

  • Work with an equality-focused real-estate pro. The easiest way is to start at GayRealEstate.com, which has screened gay, lesbian, and allied agents in every U.S. market for more than 30 years.
  • Choose inclusive lenders and inspectors. Ask whether each vendor follows HUD’s 2021 guidance interpreting the Fair Housing Act to cover sexual orientation and gender identity.

2. Know Your Rights—And Limitations

  • Federal law bars housing bias, but enforcement can lag. Document everything and report issues to HUD, your state civil-rights agency, or Lambda Legal.
  • In states without full protections, rely on city ordinances (check the MEI) and add explicit nondiscrimination language to your purchase contract.

3. Evaluate Neighborhood Fit

  • Use local data: crime stats, school ratings, transit, and MEI scores of nearby suburbs.
  • Spend time in queer-owned cafés, bars, and community centers to gauge true inclusivity.

4. For Sellers: Market With Pride—And Professionalism

  • Highlight proximity to LGBTQ+ resources (community centers, Pride festivals) in your listing remarks.
  • Stage neutrally but inclusively—rainbow art is great, but removing personal photos can protect privacy during showings.

The landscape for LGBTQ+ homeowners is evolving fast. By coupling inclusive laws, supportive culture, and attainable prices, cities like Minneapolis, Philadelphia, and Tucson stand out for 2025. No matter where you land, surround yourself with professionals who value every part of your identity. Start your journey at GayRealEstate.com, lean on the resources above, and claim your corner of the American dream—on your own terms, and with pride.


Scott Helms is president and owner of Gayrealestate.com.

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Real Estate

Summer-ready rentals: How to prepare for the season

Inspect your A/C, upgrade the kitchen, and more

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Adding stone countertops and making other kitchen improvements can greatly boost the value of a rental. (Photo by Wollwerth/Bigstock)

Now’s the time to get your property looking sharp for summer. In the D.C. rental market, summer is our version of the Super Bowl. Tenants are on the move, leases are flipping, and if your property isn’t ready for game time, you’re sitting on the bench while the competition scores.

Here’s how to get your rental property summer-ready, keep it competitive, and avoid the scramble once the heat (and the demand) is on.

First Impressions Count 

In a walkable city like D.C., curb appeal isn’t a luxury, it’s your ticket to play. Prospective tenants don’t just scroll through listings from their couches; they walk the neighborhoods, eyeing buildings and row homes like it’s a real-life episode of House Hunters. If your property looks run-down from the sidewalk, it doesn’t matter how nice it is inside: you’ll already have lost their attention.

Start with a good power wash. Sidewalks, front steps, and that brick façade can collect a year’s worth of grime and pollen, and nothing says “we didn’t get around to it” quite like a dingy entryway. Once that’s done, grab a paintbrush and freshen up the details — front doors, railings, and window trim are often the first thing people see, and chipped or faded paint sends the wrong message. Landscaping doesn’t have to rival a botanical garden, but it should be tidy and intentional. A few potted plants, some trimmed bushes, and a weed-free yard show that you care. And don’t forget the lighting — a working porch light adds a layer of polish and safety. Think of curb appeal like a dating profile picture. If it’s not appealing, people won’t even bother to swipe right.

Handle Maintenance Before Repair Emergencies

Summer in D.C. means one thing: humidity. And it’s not just uncomfortable. It’s a property’s worst enemy if you’re not on top of things. Tenants will test that A/C the minute they move in, so don’t wait for a 98-degree day to find out the AC compressor is clogged and is not performing to its potential. While you’re at it, check those windows and screens. No one wants a unit that turns into a sauna because the windows won’t open or the screens are shredded.

Plumbing deserves a once-over, too. In some of D.C.’s older neighborhoods, tree roots have been known to snake their way into century-old pipes. If you’ve had slow drains or backups, now’s the time to act. And don’t skip out on pest control. Ants, roaches, and rodents all love a good D.C. summer, but your tenants sure don’t. A preventative visit now can spare you the late-night emergency call later.

Upgrade What Matters

If your place still has that “2008 Craigslist listing” look, now’s your chance for a low-cost glow-up that pays off in higher rent and better tenants.

You don’t have to renovate the entire kitchen, but a few strategic upgrades can keep your property feeling current without breaking the bank. Swapping out dated cabinet pulls or faucet fixtures is a quick win. Replacing an old Formica countertop with stone is a great add, albeit a bigger investment.

Installing a smart thermostat or keyless entry, especially if you’re trying to attract a tech-savvy tenant, adds a bit of glitz. And don’t underestimate the value of LED lighting.  Not only is the lighting brighter, but energy efficiency is a real plus when Pepco bills start climbing.

Don’t Forget the Marketing Materials

The window for summer leasing moves fast. Between May and August, tenants are locking in their spots quickly, and they aren’t wasting time on listings that look outdated or vague. Having strong, current marketing materials can be the difference between locking in a new tenant over several weeks or watching your property sit vacant for several months while others get rented.

When writing your listing, make sure it reflects the strengths of the unit and its location. Is there a private balcony that catches the sunset? Mention it. Is the washer and dryer tucked inside the unit instead of down a shared hallway? Highlight that. And in the D.C. summer heat, central A/C and ceiling fans aren’t bonuses; they’re expectations. Mention any shaded outdoor spaces, or if you’re lucky enough to be close to a pool, splash pad, or one of the city’s beloved parks, say so.

Once the property is shining on the outside and tuned up inside, the final step is making sure that polish shows up in your marketing. Your listing needs to be more than just functional, it needs to sell. That starts with updated and clear photos. Snap new images once the landscaping is cleaned up, the paint has dried, and the light’s hitting just right. Don’t use older photos pre-2020 where the tree out front was still a sapling and the trash bins were in the shot. And please, always close toilet seats first!  Prospective renters are savvy, and their intuition perks up when they see less than professional looking photos.

It’s All About Timing

This summer, make the most of the opportunity. In D.C., there’s a wave of renters moving for new jobs, internships, or simply trying to relocate before school starts. Landlords who prep early and market smartly are the ones who don’t just find tenants, they find good tenants. And they fill units faster.

Grab that to-do list, schedule those contractors, and maybe treat yourself to a cold one after a long day of touch-ups. You’ll thank yourself later when your rental is leased out and earning while others are still scrambling at the end of the season.


Scott Bloom is owner and senior property manager at Columbia Property Management. For more information and resources, visit ColumbiaPM.com.

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Autos

A cheeky convertible: Mercedes CLE 450

Riding the freeway of love with the top down and spirits up

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Mercedes CLE 450 convertible

“Drop the top, baby!… Drop the pedal and go!”So croons Aretha Franklin in “Freeway of Love,” her classic song about a joyride in a pink Cadillac convertible. 

Those free-spirited lyrics came to mind recently each time I got behind the wheel of an equally exquisite ride: the Mercedes CLE 450. 

MERCEDES CLE 450 CONVERTIBLE 

$76,000

MPG: 23 city/32 highway

0 to 60 mph: 4.2 seconds

Cargo space: 9.6 cu. ft. 

PROS: Dreamy design. Divine handling. Dazzling amenities. 

CONS: Cramped cargo area. Kinda impractical for everyday driving.   

IN A NUTSHELL: Who needs two fine open-top chariots when one fabulous convertible will do? That seems to be the thinking at Mercedes, which recently replaced two of its cabriolets—the compact C-Class and midsize E-Class—with the brand-new CLE 450.  

While the wheelbase is a wee bit shorter than on the outgoing E-Class model, the CLE is longer overall than either of its two former siblings. The result: more legroom than expected, especially for anyone in the front seats. Even backseat occupants may feel comfy (OK, perhaps not Brittney Griner or Carl Nassib, but still…).  

Alas, trunk space is slightly scrunched, thanks to the folding fabric roof. But that power-operated top—available in black, gray or red—can be raised and lowered with the car traveling at speeds up to 37 mph. And the triple-layer acoustic material provides excellent insulation and greatly reduces outside noise. In fact, I often had to remind myself this was the CLE convertible and not the hardtop coupe. 

There’s also a wind-deflector apparatus that, when activated, elevates airflow off the windshield and reduces backflow with a rear mesh screen. For added pampering, an AIRSCARF system lives up to its name, sending warm air onto the necks of front-seat passengers. (Don’t tell my husband, but I felt like an invisible suitor was wooing me, seductively blowing kisses my way.)

Convertibles usually are not as structurally rigid as their hardtop counterparts. But here again, Mercedes works its magic: The chassis—made of aluminum and high-strength steel—is so incredibly stiff that there’s absolutely no shake and shimmy. This solid body structure also provides for a safe vehicle shell. 

Under the hood, there’s a spirited 375-hp turbo engine, augmented by grippy all-wheel drive and a graceful nine-speed automatic transmission. As a crazed soccer fan, I think it’s not too much of a stretch to say the driving experience combines the speed, sass and savvy of a star athlete (think Megan Rapinoe). 

Inside, there are plenty of premium styling cues, as well a glitzy dashboard with 12.3-inch digital cluster and 11.9-inch multimedia touchscreen. Yes, the CLE borrows heavily from the C-Class and E-Class. But somehow—perhaps because of the low ground clearance and multi-contour seats (which include heating, ventilation and massage functions)—this cabin feels and functions more like a true cockpit. 

Along with all the driver-assistance features, there are 11 airbags (including rear head airbags), pop-up roll bars and a drowsy-driver alert monitor. In case of an impending crash, an accident-preparedness system immediately tightens seatbelts, adjusts seats and closes windows.  

I could go on about all the amenities, including a 17-speaker Burmester surround-sound stereo, the 64-color ambient-lighting system and more. But why bother? This is a Mercedes, after all, so you expect such babying. 

What wasn’t expected? How much I keep missing this beauty after my weeklong test drive ended. It’s not as if soft-tops are practical, like minivans and SUVs. And two-door rides—coupes or cabrios—now account for less than 4% of all new-vehicle sales. 

But Aretha would have understood. Classy convertibles, like her pink Caddy and the Mercedes CLE 450, represent open-air freedom and the promise of adventure. 

“So jump in, it ain’t no sin. Take a ride in my machine.”

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