Living
Confessions of a Pretty Lady
Sandra Bernhard on her live show, her comedic successors and the Prince cover she simply had to do
Sandra Bernhard
Saturday
8 p.m. (doors at 6)
Howard Theatre
620 T Street, NW
Thehowardtheatre.com
$35 advance, $40 door
By BRIAN WALMER
Sandra Bernhard brings her live show, an evening of stories and songs, to the Howard on Saturday night. (Photo courtesy of Roots Agency)
It’s a busy Monday afternoon for actress/comedian Sandra Bernhard when we talk.
“I’m dealing with lots of business stuff, tons and tons of stuff,” she says, her voice instantly recognizable.
Controversial, sexy, outspoken Bernhard has been a staple in the entertainment world for three decades and shows no signs of slowing down. She continues to appear on various TV shows and tours with her stage show, which is in Washington this weekend. Look for her Saturday night at the newly refurbished Howard Theatre.
In a sense, Bernhard, who’s been out for years, is not a typical comedian. She doesn’t just stand there telling joke after joke, waiting for the audience’s reaction. Instead, she engages the crowd with her views and takes on everything from politics to pop culture and weaves in a selection of songs that drive her point home.
Her current show, “I Love Being Me, Don’t You?,” debuted in 2011 and has evolved dramatically since then, a trend she credits to her constant wave of new ideas and her own boredom.
“Events occur and my life changes, things happen and I fold it in because I’m excited about telling a new story.”
Bernhard was here in 2008 for a three-week engagement at The Jewish Community Center for the 20th anniversary of “Without You I’m Nothing,” a show that helped put her on the map in the late ‘80s.
“It’s always interesting to look back and have a different perspective on what was going on at the time. Bring it into modern day. You of course have to alter it for what’s going on. A lot of it still holds up so I think that’s a great thing.”
She says D.C. audiences are more open minded than other markets.
“Actually I think they’re more informed, that makes them more open minded,” she says. “The last time I played D.C. was that long run at The JCC, so I assume that was sort of the general audience. They were relatively informed and smart as one would expect in D.C. They seemed to be into it. At the same time longing for entertainment, because I’m sure it’s tedious being in that city with all the politics and stuff. I really enjoyed performing there.”
Of her trademark out-of-left-field covers, which previously have included acts as far ranging as Nina Simone to Bob Dylan, AC/DC to Prince, she says she starts with the lyrics.
“It’s always a song that has a great story, lyric that resonates even if it at first it seems kinda hokey or over the top,” she says. “Like a hair metal song. It’s just like a song that I can tap into the emotion and turn it into something sorta different and that’s kinda the criteria for what I do.”
And, as one might expect, with Bernhard, it’s about much more than simply singing a song. One thinks of her recent take on Lady Gaga’s “The Edge of Glory,” which elicits an “exactly” from the comedian.
“You gotta really give the audience what they came to see and what they pay for,” she says. “And never make fun of a song. I don’t like making fun of songs even if they’re sort of laced with irony and I’m bringing something very different to them.”
Later this month, Bernhard will be at Carnegie Hall for a Prince tribute.
“As you know, ‘Little Red Corvette’ is kinda my signature song and when I read about it I called my manager and said, ‘You gotta get me on this, I mean this is insane, this is like my signature song, nobody else can do this,’ so when it all came together I was very excited.”
The mix of comedy and music is more unusual in the performing world than you might initially think. Along the way, Bernhard has recorded four albums of music. She says she’d love to do another studio album and would “love to collaborate with a great producer. But you know you need money and need support and I don’t really have that right now, but I hope I do again. In the meantime at least when people come see me perform, they know I’m in the pocket.”
The day of our phone chat is the Monday after the Grammys, which Bernhard said she watched just enough of “to know it was really depressing.”
Why?
“The music business is so [pauses] it’ll never be what it was,” she says. “[The Grammys] tries to keep this illusion alive and it just doesn’t work anymore.”
But with the paradigm shift has come certain freedoms, Bernhard suggests. She maintains a level of control that would be harder to ensure at a major label. Despite the constantly evolving nature of her tour, she says her various live releases still manage to capture enough of each show she does to keep her happy. Look for a release culled from a five-night run she did at Joe’s Pub in New York last year “soon,” she says.
Since Bernhard gets asked constantly about Madonna — everyone remembers her famous cameo in “Truth or Dare” — we took a different route. Of Cyndi Lauper, whom Bernhard joined for a few dates on the singer’s 2006 “Body Acoustic Tour,” she waxes nostalgic with no apparent subtext.
“She’s a great talent and it was fun and interesting,” Bernhard says. “I didn’t do that many shows; it was just the right amount. We knew each other and she needed some support out on the road and they asked if I wanted to do some of the dates and I said ‘Yeah, you know, sure.’”
Bernhard has seen a few episodes of Lauper’s new reality show.
“I think it’s sort of entertaining in a way you know? It’s yeah [pause], I don’t know if she’s happy with it. I’m sure it was sort of a real compromise on her part.”
Is there nobility in the willingness of Lauper — or any star — to put him- or herself out there to that degree?
“I don’t think that’s necessarily enchanting for people,” she says.
And yes, Bernhard considered the idea herself, perhaps to a further degree than many fans may realize. She says her idea for “A Day in the Life of Sandra Bernhard,” she calls a “lightly scripted version of my life” she pitched 18 years ago to HBO, failed to secure a green light.
“They didn’t understand what I was talking about. It was kind of the first and the last of it all.”
A more recent delve into similar terrain — her web show “Comedians Walking and Getting Mani-Pedis,” intended as an answer of sorts, to Jerry Seinfeld’s “Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee,” ended up being “kind of an experiment” that “I wasn’t really happy with.”
Despite guests like Lizz Winstead, Rosie Perez and Wendy Williams, Bernhard says it “didn’t go where I wanted it to go.”
“I came up with the idea of doing a show from the manicuring station but the people who produce it came up with that stupid title and I was totally not into it,” she says.”
It’s on indefinite hiatus.
We dart around to all kinds of topics in our remaining moments and Bernhard, whom, as you might imagine, can be intimidating, is game for it all.
She does confess to a little self-censorship when it comes to whether her soon-to-be-15-year-old daughter, Cicely, is in the audience or not. She knows she’s sometimes mentioned in the act.
“I think sometimes now more than before it’s starting to irritate her,” Bernhard says. “When she’s at the shows, I try not to do certain pieces that I would do when she’s not there. She doesn’t follow me that closely either. Like if I came home with a CD, she’d never sit down and listen to it so I’m not too worried about her staring into the material per se.”
Because so much of her material is autobiographical, she has no plans to write a memoir. She says she’s been frank enough, though she confesses to “semi truthful, semi made up” story telling in her act, to keep her name largely out of tabloids.
Other celebs, she surmises, want it.
“You look at Rihanna and Chris Brown. Obviously they want the publicity. They’re willing to sacrifice their personal happiness, especially her. They got that whole thing going and I think it’s depressing, especially for a woman. I don’t think it’s necessary to put myself out there in that way.”
Her trademark openness, she says, made her own coming out nearly moot.
“My work always spoke for itself which was all about personal expression, independence and freedom, no matter who or what you are,” Bernhard says. “That’s really where I stand on all of that. What do I need to do that for? I’ve always been comfortable in my own skin.”
Celebs who make their coming out a proclamation or acceptance speech event — Jodie Foster at the Golden Globes is fresh on everyone’s mind — strike Bernhard as excessive.
“I don’t need approval of my peers or my supposed group. You know, I’m not a group kind of person. I find that very self-serving. Who fucking cares anyway?”
Pressed for her comedic successors, she cites the cast of “Bridesmaids” and name checks Melissa McCarthy, Kristen Wiig and Amy Poehler.
“All that kind of grouping of girls who kinda came from the imrpov world are just really smart and funny and talented.”
She calls the late Phyllis Diller, whom she appeared with on Roseanne Barr’s “Roseanne’s Nuts,” “amazing and incredible — I just love her for who she was and all the years she kept at it and was so brilliant. She’s a fabulous person. I’m so glad I got to know her. She was really a cool lady.”
A new book — it would be her fourth — is “on the back burner.” Bernhard says she would need a “bigger platform” than she currently has to make it worth the effort.
There’s only one topic that comes up for which Bernhard is tight lipped.
Though vague, she does admit to a writer friend who “just came up with an idea for me and another actress that’s under development right now,” she says.
Could it be? Brash, outspoken Bernhard declining to elaborate?
For once, mystery prevails and she sounds almost coy.
“I’m really excited about it but I’m not gonna talk about it until it’s really happening.”
Did you melt like the Wicked Witch of the West this week?
As summer temperatures rise, keeping your home or apartment cool during a heat wave can become both a comfort issue and a financial challenge. One of the most effective ways to keep a home cool is to prevent heat from entering in the first place. Sunlight streaming through windows can significantly raise indoor temperatures. Consider the following solutions:
• Close blinds or curtains during the hottest parts of the day. Blackout curtains or thermal drapes can reduce heat gain by up to 30%.
• Install reflective window films to block UV rays and reduce solar heat without sacrificing natural light.
• Use outdoor shading solutions such as awnings (yes, the ones you removed because they were “dated”) and shutters to limit direct sunlight.
Fans are a cost-effective way to circulate air and create a wind-chill effect that makes rooms feel cooler.
• Ceiling fans should rotate counterclockwise in the summer to push cool air down.
• Box fans or oscillating fans can be placed near windows to pull in cooler evening air or push hot air out.
• Create a cross-breeze by opening windows on opposite sides of your home and positioning fans to direct airflow through the space.
• For an extra cooling effect, place a bowl of ice or a frozen water bottle in front of a fan to circulate chilled air.
To optimize natural ventilation, open windows early in the morning or late in the evening when outdoor temperatures drop. This allows cooler air to flow in and helps ventilate heat that built up during the day.
Appliances and electronics generate a surprising amount of heat. To reduce indoor temperatures:
• Avoid using the oven or stove during the day; opt for no-cook meals, microwave cooking, or grilling outside.
• Run heat-producing appliances like dishwashers and clothes dryers in the early morning or late evening.
• Unplug electronics when not in use, as even standby power can add heat to your space.
• Switching to energy-efficient LED lightbulbs can also reduce ambient heat compared to incandescent lighting.
If you do use an air conditioner, maximize its effectiveness by:
• Setting it to a reasonable temperature—around 76–78°F when you’re home and higher when you’re away.
• Cleaning or replacing filters regularly to maintain airflow and efficiency.
• Sealing gaps around doors and windows to prevent cool air from escaping. (Didn’t we all have a parent who said, “Close the door. You’re letting all the cool out?”)
• Using a programmable thermostat to optimize cooling schedules and reduce energy use.
If it is not cost-prohibitive, adding insulation in attics and walls can greatly reduce heat transfer. Solar panels that reflect heat can also help, as well as offset the cost of their installation. Adding weatherstripping around doors and windows, sealing cracks, and using door sweeps can make a significant difference in keeping heat out and cool air in.
Natural and eco-conscious methods can also help cool your home.
• Snake plants, ferns, or rubber trees can improve air quality and slightly cool the air through transpiration.
• White or reflective roof paint can reduce roof temperatures significantly.
• Cooling mats or bedding can make sleeping more comfortable without cranking up the A/C.
For renters or those who can’t make permanent modifications, there are still plenty of ways to keep cool.
• Use portable fans and A/C units instead of built-in systems, making sure they are the correct size for your space.
• Removable window film or static cling tinting can reflect heat without violating your lease.
• Install tension rod curtains or temporary blackout panels instead of hardware-mounted window coverings.
• Add draft blockers and weatherstripping tape that can be applied and removed without damage.
• Cover floors with light-colored rugs to reflect heat rather than absorb it.
• If allowed, use temporary adhesive hooks to hang reflective materials or light-filtering fabrics over windows.
Even if your space is warm, you can still take steps to help your body stay cool.
• Wear light, breathable fabrics like cotton or linen.
• Stay hydrated and avoid caffeine or alcohol during peak heat hours.
• Take cool showers or use damp cloths on your neck and wrists to bring your body temperature down.
Keeping your home or apartment cool in the summer doesn’t have to be expensive or energy-intensive. With a few adjustments such as blocking sunlight, optimizing airflow, using fans effectively, and making renter-friendly upgrades, you can create a more comfortable indoor environment while keeping energy bills in check.
Valerie M. Blake is a licensed Associate Broker in D.C., Maryland, and Virginia with RLAH @properties. Call or text her at 202-246-8602, email her at DCHomeQuest.com, or follow her on Facebook at TheRealst8ofAffairs.
Real Estate
The world’s on fire and D.C. is on sale (sort of)
Prices are up, but then again, nothing makes sense anymore
ICE is disappearing people, revered government agencies are shuttering, and who knows if we’ll be in World War III next week? But can you believe prices in D.C. are actually still up 6.3% since last year? It doesn’t make sense, and perhaps that does make sense, because nothing seems to make any sense any more.
That said, there are some parts of our market that are truly suffering. The interest rates, which have been up, up, up for about four years now, are the ongoing rain on our market’s military parade. Combine that with 75,000 federal employees taking a buyout nationwide, and DOGE cuts eliminating around 40,000 federal jobs in the District (per estimates by the D.C. CFO), not to mention thousands of other job losses in non-governmental organizations due to funding and program cuts, and you’ve got a case of uncertainty, and downright unaffordability in the pool of otherwise would-be buyers.
This has had a marked impact on properties that starter-home buyers and low- to mid-level employees would otherwise buy, most notably condominium and cooperative apartment units. These properties have already slowed in our market thanks to the profound impact that higher interest rates have had on their monthly carrying costs—pair that with job insecurity, and a lot of condos are proving to be very difficult to sell indeed.
So how is the average sale price up in our market?
The increase is almost entirely due to the resounding strength of the single-family home market, especially in upper Northwest D.C., where it is still quite common to see bidding wars, even on properties pushing past the $3M mark. It seems that buyers in that echelon are less impacted by a few percentage points in the interest rate, and less concerned about their job security. Notably, those buyers are often married with children and have an absolute need for more space, must stay in the area due to one spouse’s job, or the kid’s friend group, regardless of whether the cost of owning is thousands of dollars more per month than it would have been in 2020 or 2021. The continued appreciation in these neighborhoods defies imagination.
So, what to do if you are not one of those lucky enough to be shopping for a $3M home? The short answer: wait. If you want more space, rent your current place out and learn the joys of being a landlord while someone else pays your mortgage. Need the equity from your current home to buy your next place? Get a home equity line of credit, or loan, and pull the equity out of your current place to buy the next one. Or—and I have never recommended this before in 21 years of being a Realtor—rent for a few years. Sure, I’d love to list and sell your condo so you can climb the real estate ladder, but it might just be a waste of time, money or both if you could just ride out this storm and sell in a DOGE-less future.
All this said, there are some condos that seem to be immune from this recent negative news. Anecdotally, it feels like it’s the truly special ones that do just fine no matter the market. Our recent listing in Capitol Hill had a view from every one of its 15 windows of the Supreme Court. Sold in five days with six offers. Another condo was on the top two floors of a townhouse and had the coolest black wood floors that gleamed like a grand piano. Sold in four days at full price.
So, all is not for naught if you have a condo or home in an area that people want to be in, with nice space, light, amenities and a certain je ne sais quois. And, as long as we have a democracy in a few years, my experience says our market will be back, stronger than ever, really soon.
David Bediz is a Realtor and mortgage loan broker for the Bediz Group LLC and Home Starts Here, LLC. Reach him at [email protected].
In this corner, there’s the Genesis QV70, newly updated and full of glitzy gizmos. And in the opposing corner, there’s the Lexus NX, a fan fave known for comfort and reliability.
Both are strong contenders. Both have proven to be equally adept at bobbing and weaving through traffic. And both can go toe to toe with pricier competitors.
And yet, what would happen when they sparred against each other? Here’s your ringside seat to find out.
GENESIS QV70
$50,000
MPG: 22 city/28 highway
0 to 60 mph: 5.9 seconds
Cargo space: 28.9 cu. ft.
PROS: Stylish. Good value. Lots of standard amenities.
CONS: So-so fuel economy. Quirky dash controls.
IN A NUTSHELL: When it comes to speed, the Genesis QV70 is faster on its feet than the Lexus NX. Neither of these crossover SUVs is a lightweight, but the QV70 offers more potent powerplants—including an all-electric version that zips from 0 to 60 mph in just 3.8 seconds. In other words, Porsche Macan S territory.
The two gas-powered options—a four-cylinder turbo and twin-turbo V6—also got my blood pumping. So did the velvetlike suspension mixed with deft handling and stop-on-a-dime braking. But this adrenaline rush comes at a cost: sacrificing fuel economy.
As for the automaker’s design philosophy—“athletic elegance”—it’s on full display here: an oversized grille inspired by the Genesis emblem, the dramatically arcing silhouette, and those distinct quad headlights and taillights. It’s not easy to stand out when 25% of all vehicles sold in the U.S. are compact crossovers, so kudos to the QV70 for being such a head-turner.
The mod-yet-minimalist styling carries over to the cabin, with its high-quality materials: real-wood accents, soft-touch plastics and a tasteful glass shift knob. New this year is a sweeping 27-inch dashboard monitor, which houses the gauge cluster and infotainment touchscreen. Alas, this display is positioned a bit far from the driver (though I must admit reaching for it did help stretch a few tight back muscles).
Instead of being a costly extra, this gigantic monitor comes standard. So do synthetic leathers seats, nine-speaker stereo, smartphone/wireless connectivity, hands-free liftgate, tons of safety gear and more. Options include a panoramic sunroof, three-zone climate control, 16-speaker Bang & Olufsen audio, synthetic suede headliner, sound-reducing rear windows, automated parking and other goodies.
What’s the score so far? Despite some minor quibbles, the Genesis QV70 is a worthy challenger that pulls no punches.
LEXUS NX
$43,000
MPG: 26 city/33 highway
0 to 60 mph: 8.2 seconds
Cargo space: 22.7 cu. ft.
PROS: Fuel efficient. Comfy seats. Rock-solid reliability.
CONS: Pokey base model. Limited rear storage.
IN A NUTSHELL: Sure, the Lexus NX isn’t as speedy as the Genesis QV70. But, as with the tortoise and the hare, sometimes slow and steady wins the race. And really, it’s only the entry-level NX that feels sluggish, such as when trying to quickly merge into freeway traffic.
Other trim levels, including two hybrid options, are just fine. And no matter the engine choice, the counterpunch here is that these vehicles get better gas mileage: 20% higher fuel economy than in either the four-cylinder or V6 in the Genesis. The two NX hybrids are even more green, with the high-end plug-in version able to travel up to 37 miles on electric power alone. One downside: There is no all-electric NX—well, at least not yet.
As with parent-company Toyota, Lexus offers stellar vehicle reliability—often ranked No. 1 in dependability and crash-test surveys year after year. Lexus vehicles generally hold their value better than Genesis, because this newer brand has a shorter history. Lexus also has a larger dealer network, though the number of Genesis dealerships is growing.
But when it comes to cargo space, the NX is about two inches shorter and narrower than the QV70, which has more stowage area. And Genesis handling is sportier, though the Lexus feels sure and well-grounded.
Luxe interior amenities are basically the same in both vehicles. But interior styling in the QV70 is trendy, while the NX is more understated. In other words, a choice between sassy and classy.
This is a very competitive vehicle segment, with Euro models like the Audi Q5, BMW X3 and Mercedes GLC also duking it out in what seems like a clash of the titans.
But as for the Genesis QX70 or Lexus NX, which is the winner? For me, both are real knockouts—so I’d call it a draw.
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