Opinions
Lifting the veil on Sally Ride’s private life
Moving bio reveals astronaut didn’t want to be defined by gay label

Astronaut Sally Ride (Photo public domain)
Labels are for bottles, not people, according to the popular aphorism. I’ve been thinking of this while reading “Sally Ride: America’s First Woman in Space,” by writer and former ABC News correspondent Lynn Sherr, just out from Simon & Schuster. As this engrossing, moving biography reveals, neither Ride nor her partner of 27 years, Tam O’Shaughnessy, liked labels. Especially, about their sexual orientation or same-sex relationship.
“She didn’t want to be defined by the lesbian/gay label …we both didn’t like categories,” Sherr writes that O’Shaughnessy told her.
Like many of us, LGBT and straight, I was sad to learn on July 23, 2012 that Ride, the first American woman to fly in space, had died of pancreatic cancer. Growing up, starry-eyed, watching Neil Armstrong walk on the moon, cheering when Billie Jean King beat Bobby Riggs and embracing the women’s movement, I didn’t think girls could be astronauts. Ride’s historic 1983 space flight was thrilling to women of all generations.
“Millions of little girls are going to sit by their television sets and see that they can be astronauts, heroes, explorers and scientists,” Gloria Steinem said at the time.
As Sherr’s biography engagingly shows, Ride was so multi-faceted in her talents and interests that she was almost, to use Duke Ellington’s dictum, “beyond category.” Ride was an astrophysicist who studied Shakespeare, an athlete (who joked that her horrible “forehand” kept her from becoming a professional tennis player), educator, and, with O’Shaughnessy, a children’s book writer. She was a serious scientist who was most comfortable in academia. After the Space Shuttle Challenger exploded, Ride was part of the commission established to investigate the accident.
“As a retired astronaut, she did research on arms control,” Sherr writes, “… she championed programs to advance the status of women and fought against stereotypes that dampened children’s dreams, barriers to success that had never stopped her.”
When I was in school, science was creepy – a bunch of (mainly male) teachers saying boring, incomprehensible things. Ride and O’Shaughnessy, through their company Sally Ride Science, worked to change this dreary image of science. Ride wanted children to know that “science is cool,” Sherr writes.
Though Ride was an intensely private person, she loved talking with kids about going to the bathroom in outer space. When a child asked Ride if the food that she ate in space was gross, she replied, “No! We had peanut butter.”
Like many in the LGBT community and in the wider culture, I was surprised and saddened to learn only after her death that Ride had been in a same-sex relationship for more than two decades. I didn’t judge her for not being open about her sexuality or her relationship with O’Shaughnessy. I thought then, as I do now, that deciding to come out, even as marriage equality increasingly becomes a reality, is still a personal, and often, difficult, decision. Homosexuality was considered to be a mental illness until 1973, and it’s doubtful that NASA would have accepted an openly LGBT astronaut.
“She was just a private person who wanted to do things her way. She hated labels (including hero),” Ride’s sister Bear told the Associated Press at the time of her death.
Few beyond a small, extremely close-knit circle knew of Ride and O’Shaughnessy’s relationship. Even, Sherr, a friend of Ride’s, didn’t know that Ride and O’Shaughnessy were a same-sex couple. Though not a hagiography in any sense of the word, Sherr wrote this book because O’Shaughnessy wanted it to be written. O’Shaughnessy decided “that it was time for a proper biography,” Sherr writes. “That the obituaries didn’t capture the richness or the nuance of her life … that in the interest of honesty it was time to lift the veil of privacy Sally had guarded so tenaciously.”
Many thanks, Tam, for lifting the veil. And thanks to Sherr for illuminating a legendary life in all its rich complexity.
Kathi Wolfe, a writer and poet, is a regular contributor to the Blade.
Opinions
In favor of healthcare for trans youth
Denying teenagers puberty blockers is a human rights offense
One of the hottest issues in America right now is that of gender affirming care for trans youth. Even people close to me — as close as parents and siblings and dear friends — voice their disapproval of letting trans or nonbinary adolescents (and those who are younger) receive appropriate healthcare in the form of puberty blockers and other medicines to prevent their original gender from onset, and instead establish a new gender that they feel comfortable in. This is a topic that I believe is highly contested among Democrats themselves, so I have taken extra time, patience, and detail to write this article. Out of all of the op-eds I have penned for the Blade, this is the one I have most prepared for.
Trans youth should be able to access quality gender affirming care. Denying these children and teenagers puberty blockers is a human rights offense.
Many older trans people in the current day report feeling “off” about their gender from a young age. The majority of us, myself included, didn’t have a vocabulary to describe our feelings, so we instead lived teenage years under this strange angst — this strange anxiety about our bodies that we couldn’t put a name to. Maybe a lucky few of us grew up in Manhattan, or some other elite coastal city, and were, for instance, raised by lesbian moms or gay fathers or were put into some scenario in which we had access to vocabulary such as “gender dysphoria,” “cisgender,” and “transgender.” I’ve only known one person who had this vocabulary handed to them, but they were intersex, so questions about their genitalia were asked from a young age. Other than that, the point is this: Many transgender people feel like something was wrong during childhood. And here is the other point to be made: Many youth in the current day feel that something is wrong. The difference now is that modern day youth have access to more puberty blockers, more hormones, and more grown ups who want the best for them, in addition to more evil and cruel grown ups who don’t.
Youth who are genuinely transgender — who will likely live the rest of their life as a new gender — are in so much pain that they often want to kill themselves. These kids, be they seven, eight, 11, or 13 years old, engage in extremely unhealthy thoughts about their bodies and lives. Doctors will see signs of suicidality from the get go: the kid might exhibit parasuicidal behavior, such as scratching their arm with a razor, they might think of jumping off of a building, and they generally will not want to wake up the next day to confront the bullies who will tease them about their hair, clothes, and identity. Opponents of gender affirming care for youth often don’t understand the wrath that gender dysphoria places on its beholder: they don’t understand how depressed, anxious, and overall terrorized these kids feel. They perhaps just think that these kids can live a normal adolescence, maybe cross dress on occasion, and wait to fix their bodies until they are of “sane” and “healthy” mind. But I want to ask parents out there if they really feel as if children and teenagers who are suicidal is healthy: Do you think that a boy who wants to be a girl but can’t is going to bed feeling happy? The answer is no.
It is totally unhealthy for trans youth not to be able to delay their puberty. It is unhealthy for them to have to sit and stew in this wretched, cruel, and twisted universe that scorns their label of a new gender. It is unhealthy for them to turn on CNN and watch as Marjorie Taylor Greene or the president of the United States calls them monsters, or says that they are somehow sick.
Don’t get me wrong — it is appropriate and necessary for these gender nonconforming youth to be screened by doctors. They should be vetted by psychiatrists, psychologists, primary care physicians, endocrinologists, and licensed social workers. A rigorous and intelligent process for evaluating their dysphoria and alleviating their symptoms should be in place. What they are experiencing, after all, is not healthy.
What is healthy is giving these youth access to a new channel of freedom — healthcare that makes their bodies more aligned with their minds and healthcare that will cause them to be less suicidal, and more in touch with their surroundings and school environment. These youth deserve a chance at life–a shot at success. They deserve to learn in schools where their teachers don’t get punished for asking for preferred pronouns. Boys deserve to wear dresses and girls deserve to cut their hair short. The world needs to relax about gender. We are the ones suffering, not you. We are the ones bearing the brunt of cruelty. Let us have healthcare when healthcare is appropriate.
Isaac Amend is a writer based in the D.C. area. He is a transgender man and was featured in National Geographic’s ‘Gender Revolution’ documentary. He serves on the board of the LGBT Democrats of Virginia. Contact him on Instagram at @isaacamend
Opinions
Team Rayceen’s hiatus is officially over
Reflecting on a dark year while looking forward to 2026
In 2026, many will analyze the last 12 years because Mayor Bowser’s administration will conclude at the end of her current third term. My focus on this time frame is that as of 2026, Team Rayceen Productions will have existed for a dozen years. We have been through six primary elections, five pivotal production faux pas, four personnel problems, three presidents, two presidential impeachments, and a pandemic — and we’re still here.
Although our mantra is that we are For the People, TRP (Team Rayceen Productions) is essentially a one-man band. While Rayceen Pendarvis is a renowned emcee and revered community leader, and TRP has talented co-hosts and cherished volunteers, administratively and creatively, from invoices and graphics to selecting guests for interviews or performers for events, I run the show. This can be daunting, as it is for the numerous volunteers and staff members with many community groups and local LGBTQ organizations that take on multiple responsibilities while struggling with limited funding, resources, and institutional support.
After my sense of disappointment (but not shock or surprise) at the results of the 2024 presidential election, I abandoned my dreams and plans for TRP under a Harris administration and activated Plan B: stepping back from my creative duties and letting the annual TRP winter hiatus continue indefinitely. I correctly predicted that events would be cancelled, funding would become unavailable, and that overall, 2025 would be bleak.
Halting work on the Team Rayceen YouTube channel caused me to realize that this one aspect of my responsibilities was essentially an unpaid full-time job, especially during election years, due to our numerous candidate interviews. I was producer, director, editor, and booking agent; I did everything except interview guests on camera. Those five years of creating videos and live streams were exhausting. With that not happening, I had the unfamiliar experience of having free time in 2025. Within 10 months, I read more books than I had in the past 10 years.
Throughout the year, I continued my duties not only as TRP administrator and archivist, I also remained Rayceen’s de facto manager, agent, publicist, and speechwriter. By summer, somewhat reluctantly, I had resumed some of my TRP creative duties when collaborations with Arena Stage were offered. In the autumn, TRP also returned for Art All Night Shaw and organized an LGBTQ town hall.
Moving forward, I have decided to recalibrate my TRP roles. Our hiatus is officially over, and now we are prioritizing collaborations and supporting other organizations. I am calling it the Team Rayceen Agenda for Community Engagement, the acronym being T.R.A.C.E., our outline of priorities for the New Year.
These are our current priorities within the LGBTQ community:
• Increasing and improving communication and collaboration among LGBTQ organizations and groups, including those that are new and smaller
• Honoring LGBTQ elders
• Increasing and strengthening intergenerational bonds among LGBTQ people
• Welcoming and engaging with local LGBTQ community members who are new to their identities, the geographic region, or adulthood
• Creating databases for booking local LGBTQ performers, DJs, and photographers
We hope to partner with an array of organizations for these agenda items:
• Increasing voter registration, education, and participation
• Informing voters about the candidates, as well as proposed legislation and ballot measures, including via community listening sessions and candidate debates, forums, and interviews
• Creating events that are inclusive and foster LGBTQ allyship and finding ways to cultivate allyship, with an emphasis on trans people
• Organizing efforts to unify various demographic groups, including Black and API communities, and creating opportunities to dialogue, socialize, and collaborate
• Creating new local awards that honor and acknowledge elders, young people, performers, content creators, and event organizers
My advocacy for Rayceen Pendarvis will also continue:
• More hosting and emcee bookings
• Acting roles and cameo appearances in films, TV series, web series, commercials, and music videos
• Music recording opportunities as a featured or backing vocalist
(If interested in anything listed above, please email us.)
I have hope that these things are achievable and that if we can bring the right people together, action could happen soon. I think people in the region are ready for change: not only is The National LGBTQ Task Force’s Creating Change Conference in D.C. this year, but the board of Capital Pride Alliance (CPA) has new leadership; capable people have become staff members at CPA, the Mayor’s Office of LGBTQ Affairs, and elsewhere; and qualified people are running for positions to lead or represent D.C. residents, in races that are open or competitive.
For those reasons, I feel that perhaps D.C., including its LGBTQ community, is not going to be a kakistocracy, plutocracy, oligarchy, and/or gerontocracy. I am less certain about the federal government. We shall see how much beyond 12 years TRP lasts and how much beyond 250 years the USA lasts, if indeed, during this fascist regime, the latter currently exists in any meaningful way.
I’ve been through nearly 12 years of Team Rayceen Productions. This includes organizing numerous special events, such as two Black History Month programs and two town hall discussions. We convened three online At-Large Councilmember Candidate Forums in 2020. We produced Rayceen’s Reading Room for D.C. Public Library for four consecutive years. We produced four variety shows for Artomatic. We have been involved with both Silver Pride and the defunct OutWrite LGBTQ Literary Festival for five years. We have assisted with District of Pride for six years. We produced seven Art All Night programs and partnered with Story District for seven years of the annual Out/Spoken event. We produced the final eight seasons of “The Ask Rayceen Show” (2012-2021) and 10 social mixers (Rayceen, Fix Me Up!). We created multiple live stream series and more than 900 YouTube videos. All without a big financier. C’est la vie.
Most remarkably, I got through all of last year, and I’m still here.
Zar is the mononymous founder of Team Rayceen Productions, community advocate, consultant, songwriter, and lifelong resident of the Capital region.
Opinions
Support the Blade as mainstream media bend the knee for Trump
From CBS to Washington Post, MAGA taking over messaging
We knew it would be bad. I’m referring, of course, to 2025 and the unthinkable return of Donald Trump to the White House.
We just didn’t know how bad. The takeover of D.C. police. ICE raids and agents shooting defenseless citizens in the face. The cruel attacks on trans Americans. A compliant and complicit right-wing Supreme Court and GOP rubberstamping all the criminality and madness.
Much of that was outlined in Project 2025 and was predictable. But what has proven surprising is the speed with which major companies, powerful billionaires, and media conglomerates have hopped on board the authoritarian train and kissed Trump’s ring. Tech giants like Apple and Meta and media companies like CBS and the Washington Post have folded like cheap tents, caving to MAGA pressure and enabling Trump’s evil agenda.
The guardrails collapsed in 2025. Congress has ceded its role as a formerly co-equal branch of government. Once trusted media outlets have betrayed their audiences’ trust and morphed into propaganda arms of the White House. As a lifelong journalist, this is perhaps the most shocking and disappointing development of the past year.
The Washington Post, which adopted the ominous tagline of “Democracy Dies in Darkness,” killed its endorsement of Kamala Harris in the final days of the 2024 campaign. Same thing at the Los Angeles Times. More recently, CBS’s vaunted “60 Minutes” spiked a story critical of Trump’s immigration policies under the direction of new editor-in-chief Bari Weiss, a Trump toady and the antithesis of a journalist.
Concurrently, media companies large and small are fighting to survive. Government grants have been rescinded and the Corporation for Public Broadcasting, responsible for funding NPR and PBS, announced plans to dissolve. The Pittsburgh Post-Gazette, a nearly century-old Pulitzer Prize-winning institution, announced this week it will close on May 3. The Washington Post has lost scores of talented journalists, including prominent LGBTQ voices like Jonathan Capehart. The Baltimore Sun was acquired by the same family that owns right-wing Sinclair Broadcasting, ending a nearly 190-year tradition of award-winning, independent journalism.
It is not a coincidence that Trump’s attacks on democracy, traditions, and norms are happening while the media industry collapses. News deserts are everywhere now. In 2024, 127 newspapers closed, leaving 55 million Americans with limited or no access to local news, according to a report by Medill.
There’s a reason the media are called the “Fourth Estate.” Journalism was considered so critical to the health of our democracy that the Founding Fathers spelled it out in the First Amendment. Democracy and our Constitution cannot survive without a free and robust press.
That’s why I felt compelled to write this appeal directly to our readers. For nearly 57 years, the Blade has told the stories of LGBTQ Washington, documenting all the triumphs and heartbreaks and writing the first draft of our own history. Today, we remain hard at work, including inside the White House. This week, we have a reporter on the ground in Colombia, covering the stories of queer Venezuelan migrants amid the crisis there; another reporter will be inside the Supreme Court for next week’s trans-related cases; on Sunday, we have a reporter on the red carpet at the Golden Globes ready to interview the stars of “Heated Rivalry.”
We do a lot with a little. As major companies pull back on their support of the LGBTQ community, including their advertising in the Blade, we turn to our readers. We have never charged a dime to read the Blade in print or online. Our work remains a free and trusted resource. As we navigate these challenges, we ask that you join us. If you have the resources, please consider making a donation or purchasing a membership. If not, please subscribe to our free email newsletter. To join, visit washingtonblade.com and click on “Fund LGBTQ Journalism” in the top right navigation.
Our community is known for its resilience. At the Blade, we’ve weathered the AIDS epidemic, financial crises, and a global pandemic. We are committed to our mission and will never bend to a wannabe dictator the way so many mainstream media outlets have done. The queer press is still here and with your help we will survive these unprecedented attacks on democracy and emerge stronger than before. Thank you for reading the Blade and for considering making a donation to support our work.
Kevin Naff is editor of the Washington Blade. Reach him at [email protected].
-
Minnesota5 days agoReports say woman killed by ICE was part of LGBTQ community
-
Maryland5 days agoSteny Hoyer, the longest-serving House Democrat, to retire from Congress
-
National5 days agoU.S. in midst of ‘genocidal process against trans people’: study
-
Virginia5 days agoGay Va. State Sen. Ebbin resigns for role in Spanberger administration
