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Why pre-nups are not only for the rich and famous

Debunking myths of estate planning

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prenup, gay news, Washington Blade, prenuptial agreement

In order to end your relationship, it will take a divorce with all its risks and rules.

This is the sixth in a series of seven articles to help you understand what you do know, don’t know and should know about estate planning.

You don’t have to be a Kardashian to need a prenuptial agreement. Here’s why. Many of us enter into marriages after years of successful earning and asset accumulation.  Maybe you built a business. You may expect to inherit money. Maybe you’re really attached to the beach house you owned before you two met. Even though you may have been together for years, disparities in wealth, professional status, citizenship and age can all create issues. A pre-nup is a means for both of you to acknowledge what you bring into the marriage – and how what was once yours alone will be treated if you divorce or if one of you dies.

In the old days, unless you owned a home together, it was fairly easy to dissolve a relationship that didn’t work out. One of you could just move out. Marriage changes everything. Now in order to end your relationship, it will take a divorce with all its risks and rules. (This is also a potential issue for couples who have registered as D.C. Domestic Partners.)

Judges in divorce courts have great power to do what they think is “equitable” in terminating a marriage. They can divide up a couple’s assets in ways that they believe is fair. A court can also force the wealthier spouse to pay alimony to the less well-off spouse. I realize that the concept of paying alimony is foreign to most gay and lesbian people unless they have been married previously. But it is a real issue as some our marriages come to an inevitable end.

Getting married also changes the estate planning equation. If you are not married, there are absolutely no requirements about how much you might leave to your partner.  Once you are married, there are significant restrictions that prevent you from disinheriting your spouse. In general, your spouse will be entitled to at least one-third of your assets when you die, whether or not that’s your actual plan.

Prenuptial agreements (and postnuptial agreements) are designed to provide predictability when couples split up or when one spouse dies. These agreements are designed to make your own rules to handle the three primary issues that I’ve just described: equitable distribution of assets, the award of alimony and marital share claims by a surviving spouse. Here is how they can work for you:

1.  You, as a couple, get to decide how your assets would be divided if you ever separated. Many agreements start with the basic concept that whatever you brought into the relationship you should get to keep and the assets you both acquired jointly should be divided on a predetermined basis.

2.  You – not the court – define the amount of alimony to be paid in the event of any separation, or whether alimony will be limited or not paid at all.

3. If you have reasons to leave money to someone other than your spouse when you die, your spouse will agree to that treatment in advance and not try to get more later.

In the Washington area, many people who don’t think of themselves as rich have acquired substantial assets through years of federal government service, such as large TSP accounts. They rely on the existence of those accounts for their eventual retirement.  Losing half of that balance in a divorce might be devastating. The old saying that “an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure” is the guiding principle of premarital planning. It’s not unromantic. It’s just sensible.

(This column is not intended to provide legal advice, but only general guidance that may or may not be applicable to your specific situation.)

Larry Jacobs has helped hundreds of same-sex couples and LGBT singles in the Washington area protect their assets and loved ones through partnership planning. He is a partner at McMillan Metro, P.C. and has practiced law for 41 years. Learn more about Larry and his practice at PartnerPlanning.com

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Real Estate

Don’t procrastinate buying your home

Some experts predict rates will fall in June

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Spring is in the air and it’s a great time to buy a new home.

As springtime fills the air, cherry blossoms are blooming, much of the year still lies ahead and many have started to think about how they are progressing with their 2024 goals. If the dream of buying a house was put on hold when the interest rates went from 3% to almost 8%, and life got in the way of an idea that had gotten onto your to-do list, maybe now is the time to dust it off. 

Mortgage lender Tina Del Casale from Sandy Spring Bank says, “There is still hope the Fed will be happy with inflation numbers by June to finally pull the trigger on lowering interest rates.”  

The rates might not be as low as they were in 2021, but historically, they are still not as high as they were 20 years ago. Some people’s parents remember getting interest rates that were 12%, 14% or even higher.   

One of the biggest questions I get at homebuyer seminars is about is the process. What is buying a house ACTUALLY like?  I usually tell them that it’s like anything else. One step at a time. One form at a time. One bank transfer at a time. One house showing at a time. One home inspection at a time. If you have the wherewithal to plan a vacation, you can buy a house. 

  • Finding a Realtor
  • Finding a lender to get pre-approved (how much is your budget and what is a comfortable monthly payment)
  • Are there any first-time buyer programs that could be used? Is there down payment assistance?
  • Looking at the houses.
  • Finding one you like, and putting an offer together:
    • An offer usually involves a sales contract, any special forms that the jurisdictions require (lead-based paint acknowledgements, what appliances and systems in the house are included/excluded, if the home is part of a homeowners association, or a condo association, etc.)
    • Any forms related to getting an inspection done.
    • Who is selling the house, who is buying the house, how much is it being sold for, where it is exactly, and who are the others involved in the transaction (title company, agents, etc.)?
  • Getting any inspections done.
  • Negotiating any changes in the sales price or terms, or credits for inspection items.
  • Getting the final approval for the loan and then going to settlement.

Many people get interested in buying a house, but the “unknown” of it all can be daunting. It could be that the best way to think about it, is that like most things in life, you can’t cross every bridge BEFORE you get there. You just take it one day at a time. Some things will be surprisingly easy. Some things will require the advice of experienced lenders, Realtors, home inspectors and title attorneys.  

But if the process doesn’t begin somewhere, somehow, the idea just stays in one’s head in the “to do list” file.  And then 3 years go by, 5 years go by, 7 years go by. And your friends that DID buy a house laugh themselves to the bank when they go to sell the house they bought 3 years ago, 5 years ago, or 7 years ago.

If you need any recommendations for a local lender or Realtor, please don’t hesitate to ask.

Joseph Hudson is a referral agent with Metro Referrals. Reach him at [email protected] or 703-587-0597.

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Real Estate

Down payment strategies: Financing your home purchase 

Understanding the options key to unlocking the door to a dream home

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Looking for your dream home? First, you need to understand how to make the down payment.

Navigating the path to homeownership can be a complex journey, especially when it comes to accumulating the necessary down payment. For members of our LGBTQ community, understanding the available options for saving and financing this crucial aspect of home buying is key to unlocking the door to their dream home. Let’s explore effective methods and resources specifically designed to support LGBTQ individuals on their path to homeownership.

Traditional Savings Strategies

Saving for a down payment often begins with traditional methods such as setting aside a portion of your income into a dedicated savings account. High-yield savings accounts and automated savings plans, some offering up to 5% interest in today’s market, can expedite the process, providing a disciplined approach to accumulate funds over time. Additionally, exploring investment opportunities that match your risk tolerance can offer potential growth for your down payment savings.

Down Payment Assistance Programs

A variety of down payment assistance programs exist to help homebuyers with their initial costs. These programs often offer grants or low-interest loans to first-time homebuyers or those who haven’t owned a home in the past three years. 

It’s essential to speak with a GayRealEstate.com agent to determine what programs may be available, plus online research into local and state assistance programs, as many are designed to support individuals in specific communities, including the LGBTQ+ community.

For medical professionals, police, teachers, firefighters, and other community heroes, there are several special loan and assistance programs designed to help with home purchases, often offering benefits like down payment assistance, reduced closing costs, and more favorable loan terms.

The Hero Home Loan Program provides first responders, including police officers, firefighters, and paramedics, with benefits such as lower interest rates and reduced closing costs. This program aims to make homeownership more accessible by offering more flexible credit score requirements and down payment assistance .

For educators, firefighters, law enforcement officers, and medical professionals, the Everyday Hero Housing Assistance Fund (EHHAF) offers closing cost assistance through gift funds. This program is designed to support those who serve their communities by making homeownership more affordable, with no repayment required for the grant funds​​.

The HUD Good Neighbor Next Door Program offers up to 50% off the list price of homes for law enforcement officers, pre-Kindergarten through 12th-grade teachers, firefighters, and emergency medical technicians. This initiative aims to encourage community revitalization by assisting these professionals in homeownership within the communities they serve​​.

Homes for Heroes provides assistance specifically to first responders and offers significant savings through Hero Rewards when buying, selling, or refinancing a home. On average, participants save $3,000, with the program offering real estate and mortgage specialist connections tailored to the needs of first responders​​.

LGBTQ-Friendly Lending Options

Finding a lender that understands and supports the unique needs of our LGBTQ community can make a significant difference. Some lenders and organizations specialize in offering inclusive financial products and resources to assist LGBTQ+ homebuyers. These may include specialized mortgage products, financial planning services, and guidance through the home buying process.

The journey to homeownership is a milestone that requires careful planning and support. Remember, every step taken towards saving and financing your home purchase brings you closer to the dream of homeownership.

(GayRealEstate.com offers valuable resources and advice tailored to meet the unique needs of our LGBTQ+ community in their journey towards homeownership. For more comprehensive guidance and support in navigating the home buying process, visit GayRealEstate.com choose an agent and start a no-obligation conversation today.)

Jeff Hammerberg is founding CEO of Hammerberg & Associates, Inc. Reach him at [email protected].

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Real Estate

Turn your bare walls into captivating focal points

Paint, wallpaper, statement installations and more

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Whether you prefer artwork, paint, wallpaper, or statement walls, there are countless ways to adorn and decorate your walls.

Are you tired of gray walls and white kitchen cabinets with white granite or marble countertops? Have you gone back to the “Builder Beige” that was popular in the ‘90s?

Your walls are the blank canvases of your home, waiting to be transformed into stunning expressions of your personality and style. Whether you prefer vibrant artwork, paint, eye-catching wallpaper, or statement walls, there are countless ways to adorn and decorate your walls to elevate your space. Here’s a guide to help you turn those bare walls into captivating focal points. 

Wallpaper: Wallpaper has again become a versatile option for adding texture, pattern, and color to your walls. Whether you prefer subtle designs or bold prints, there’s a wallpaper to suit every taste. 

It now even comes in peel and stick rolls, so you don’t have a mess of water and paste. For some new designs, check out www.spoonflower.com

Before selecting wallpaper, consider the scale of your room and the atmosphere you want to create. For small spaces, opt for light, airy patterns to make the room feel more spacious. Conversely, in larger rooms, you can go bold with intricate designs or vibrant colors to make a statement. Don’t be afraid to mix and match wallpaper with paint, or even wallpaper the ceilings for a unique and dynamic look.

Statement Walls: Statement walls are a bold way to add personality and drama to any room. From accent paint colors to textured finishes, the possibilities are endless. Consider using a contrasting color or texture to highlight a specific wall and create visual interest. For a contemporary touch, try incorporating geometric patterns or asymmetrical designs with strips of wood. Hand-painted murals are another option for creating striking statement walls. Choose a mural that reflects your interests or transports you to another world for a truly immersive experience.

Paneling/Brick: The shiplap phase may be dying out, but there are still many ways to use wood and paneling in your wall décor. Reclaimed wood is a popular option, as are wood slats such as the ones found at www.woodpanelwalls.com. Use them on walls or ceilings, or as a background for wall-mounted televisions and sconces. Amazon also has lots of options for wood veneer available and exposed brick is popular in many contemporary homes. If you don’t have a brick wall to uncover, select from options such as lightweight faux brick or stone.

Artwork: Art has the power to breathe life into any room. When choosing artwork, consider pieces that resonate with you personally and complement your existing décor. Experiment with a mix of styles, sizes, and mediums to create visual interest. Hang artwork at eye level to ensure it is easily visible and balanced within the space. Enhance gallery walls by arranging multiple pieces in a cohesive layout. Remember that art is subjective, so whether you choose an inexpensive poster or a gallery quality painting, select pieces that speak to you.

Photo Displays: Showcase your favorite memories and moments with a curated photo display. Whether it’s a collection of family photos, travel snapshots, or artistic prints, arranging photos on your walls adds a personal touch to your space. Try out different frames, sizes, and layouts to create a gallery-style display that reflects your unique style. It makes a nice presentation on that odd wall going up your stairs. 

Mirrors: Mirrors are not only functional but also serve as decorative accents that can enhance the visual appeal of any room. Strategically placing mirrors on your walls can create the illusion of space, brighten dark corners, and reflect natural light. Choose mirrors with interesting frames or shapes to add an extra layer of style to your décor. Try different sizes and arrangements to find the perfect balance between form and function.

Textile Hangings: Textile hangings are a bohemian-inspired alternative to traditional wall art. From tapestries to woven rugs, textile hangings add warmth, texture, and color to your walls. Hang a large tapestry behind your bed as a dramatic headboard alternative or layer smaller textiles with framed artwork for a cozy, eclectic look. Consider mixing and matching different textures and patterns to create visual depth and dimension.

Adorning and decorating your walls is a creative and personal process that allows you to infuse your space with personality and style. The key is to trust your instincts and have fun with the process. Use different techniques, colors, and textures until you find the perfect combination that speaks to you and transforms your walls into works of art. With a little imagination and creativity, you can turn any blank wall into a stunning focal point that reflects your unique taste and aesthetic.

Valerie M. Blake is a licensed Associate Broker in D.C., Maryland, and Virginia with RLAH Real Estate/@properties. Call or text her at 202-246-8602, email her via DCHomeQuest.com, or follow her on Facebook at TheRealst8ofAffairs.

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