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Searching for a home is like looking for your soul mate online

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open house, spring market, gay news, Washington Blade
Going to an open house is like speed dating at a coffee shop.

This week, the Blade celebrates the most eligible singles in the LGBTQ community. You can drool over their photographs, read about their likes and dislikes, and see if some of their hobbies are things you also enjoy. You can even plan an imaginary first date based on their preferences and perhaps make it a reality by contacting the person who seems to fit what you want in a date or a mate.

Since the death of the Craigslist Personals, many people have flocked to dating and hook-up sites like Tinder, Grindr, or FindHrr, which co-founder Rebecca Paisis describes as “a lesbian Trip Advisor with a social network.” 

Whether you’re in the market for a short tryst or a lasting relationship, searching for a home is much like looking for your soul mate online. It requires time and energy, and you may have to kiss a lot of frogs to find your prince. Whichever app you’re using, you’re making decisions based on a few pictures and limited information.

Statistics from the National Association of Realtors indicate that 18 percent of home purchases in 2018 were made by single women and another 7 percent were made by single men. Those numbers represent national averages; in my experience, however, there are much larger percentages of single buyers in the DMV.

In both the housing market and the meat market, beauty is often in the superficial eye of the beholder. Your attention may be easily caught by a dazzling smile and a twinkle in his eye or by shiny, stainless steel appliances and gleaming hardwood floors. 

With the right real estate matchmaker, however, you can find the home that suits your personality and your pocketbook and forms the basis of a long-term relationship. To get started, two critical issues must be addressed. 

The first is finding the right matchmaker. This is the person who will be the custodian of your personal and financial information, so it’s very important that you forge a relationship based on communication, candor and trust. 

Together, you and your matchmaker will develop a personalized plan that takes into consideration your needs, finances, location preferences and timing. As with love, there is no “one size fits all” in real estate.

The second critical step in the process is securing financing. You probably wouldn’t go on a date without some method of paying for the evening, so unless you plan on paying cash to purchase a home, you’ll need to be pre-approved by a mortgage lender. 

The process is not as daunting as one might think since most lenders now have online applications to get you started. Still, nobody would describe the purchase of real estate as a paperless transaction yet, so don’t be surprised if you are asked for bank statements, pay stubs, income tax records, and your right arm.

With your pre-approval letter and your needs assessment in hand, your matchmaker will automate a search for your home through the multiple listing service. You’ll be notified when a match appears, but instead of swiping in one direction or the other, you’ll be able to mark your favorites, determine which ones might be possibilities, and discard the ones you don’t like. The search system will also allow you to write notes, ask questions and communicate with your matchmaker.

First impressions are as important in real estate searches as they are on dating websites. Both real estate listings and potential suitors who don’t display photographs generally get passed over. The first reaction is to wonder what they’re hiding. 

Similarly, a listing that shows only photographs of the home’s exterior is akin to the dating profile photo of a person who has his arm around someone who has been cropped out of the picture. In both cases, something is missing.

Professional photos are the Glamour Shots of real estate and portray a home in its best light, literally and figuratively, to entice you to visit in person, perhaps in a no pressure environment like an open house. 

Going to an open house is like speed dating at a coffee shop. You get to see those you like in person, determine how they match the characteristics you are looking for, and decide whether you want to see them again, all in 15 minutes or less. 

If you do want to take the next step, then it’s time to notify your real estate matchmaker, who will help you seal the deal and become an even more eligible single – one with equity.

Valerie M. Blake is a licensed Associate Broker in D.C., Maryland and Virginia and Director of Education & Mentorship at RLAH Real Estate. Call or text her at 202-246-8602, email her via DCHomeQuest.com, or follow her on Facebook at TheRealst8ofAffairs.  

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Real Estate

Tips for LGBTQ buyers, sellers during holidays

A powerful and overlooked window for real estate transactions

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The holidays can be a powerful — and often overlooked — window for both buying and selling real estate. (Photo by monkeybusinessimages/Bigstock)

The holiday season is a magical time, filled with celebration, travel, connection, and reflection. It also happens to be a powerful — and often overlooked — window for both buying and selling real estate. For members of the LGBTQ+ community, shopping for a new home or preparing to list a property during the holidays comes with opportunities, challenges, and important considerations that deserve thoughtful attention.

Whether you’re preparing to make a move as a same-sex couple, searching for safe and affirming neighborhoods, or hoping to secure the best possible price for your home sale before the new year, the holidays can offer unique advantages. With an inclusive approach, LGBTQ+ friendly resources, and the right professional guidance, this season can be a strategic and rewarding time to take your next real estate step.

Below are actionable tips, insights, and resources specifically tailored to LGBTQ+ home buyers and sellers navigating the holiday season.

Why the Holidays Can Be the Right Time

Lower Competition & Motivated Sellers

Because so many people put their real estate plans on pause during November and December, LGBTQ+ home buyers may see lower competition, fewer bidding wars, and sellers who are eager to close before January. This can bring real advantages for first-time gay home buyers or same-sex couples seeking more favorable negotiating terms.

Buyers Are More Serious

If you’re selling your home as an LGBTQ+ individual, remember: holiday buyers tend to be more intentional, financially prepared, and timeline-driven. This can make the sale process smoother.

Holiday Appeal Helps Homes Show Better

Warm lighting, seasonal décor, and neighborhood festivities can enhance curb appeal and emotional impact — which can be especially valuable when selling your home.

Tip #1: Choose LGBTQ-Friendly Representation

Above all else: work with a professional who understands the LGBTQ+ community and the unique concerns LGBTQ+ clients have.

This means choosing:

  • a gay realtor
  • a lesbian realtor
  • an LGBTQ+ friendly real estate agent

Agents who are part of, or deeply familiar with, the LGBTQ+ community can make a tremendous difference in safety, comfort, and confidence throughout the transaction.

For more than 30 years, GayRealEstate.com has been the trusted leader in LGBTQ+ real estate, providing LGBTQ+ home buyers and sellers access to:

  • verified LGBTQ+ real estate agents
  • same-sex couple home buying experts
  • LGBTQ+ friendly realtors near you
  • agents experienced in discrimination-related protections
  • LGBTQ+ relocation specialists

Whether you’re buying or selling, this starts you on the right path.

Tip #2: Focus on LGBTQ-Friendly Neighborhoods

If you’re buying a home during the holidays, make researching neighborhoods a top priority.

Look for areas known for:

  • Inclusion & diversity
  • Active local LGBTQ+ groups
  • Gay-friendly businesses
  • Visible LGBTQ+ community presence
  • Supportive schools & services
  • Pride events & alliances

Searching online helps — but talking with an LGBTQ+ friendly realtor who knows these neighborhoods firsthand is invaluable.

Also search:

  • LGBTQ+ crime statistics
  • local anti-discrimination policies
  • protections against housing discrimination
  • hate crime data
  • political climate
  • HOA regulations

Your home should feel safe year-round, not just festive in December.

Housing discrimination still exists — and LGBTQ+ home buyers and sellers must remain vigilant.

While federal protections exist through the Fair Housing Act (as interpreted to include sexual orientation and gender identity), not all states provide equal protection.

Know your rights around:

  • Mortgage discrimination
  • Rental screening discrimination
  • Sellers refusing offers from LGBTQ+ buyers
  • HOA discrimination
  • Harassment after move-in

Your agent should be able to assist — but GayRealEstate.com also offers educational guidance and resources for navigating LGBTQ+ legal protections in real estate

Tip #4: Navigate the Emotional Side

For LGBTQ+ buyers and sellers, the holidays can stir up complex feelings:

  • family dynamics
  • financial pressure
  • expectations around marriage or partnership
  • relocation stress
  • memories tied to a home

Be patient with yourself.

Buying or selling a home is life-changing — honor the emotional journey as much as the financial one.

Tip #5: Take Advantage of Holiday Cost Savings

Buying?

  • Lower interest rates may appear around December
  • Contractors often discount home inspections & repairs this time of year
  • Movers run holiday promotions

Selling?

  • Minor seasonal upgrades help tremendously:
    • warm lighting
    • new evergreen planters
    • festive front door accents
  • Be careful not to over-decorate — buyers need to see the space clearly

And yes — holiday cookies help.

Tip #6: If You’re Relocating — Plan Ahead

Many LGBTQ+ buyers relocate during the holidays to:

  • be closer to family
  • move in with a partner
  • begin a new job in the new year

If you’re relocating as an LGBTQ+ couple or family:

  • research local LGBTQ+ resources
  • connect with local LGBTQ+ organizations
  • ask your gay real estate agent about local LGBTQ+ clubs, groups, and services
  • evaluate long-term safety for LGBTQ+ families

Plan early — December moves get booked fast.

Tip #7: Use Trusted LGBTQ Real Estate Resources

The most important resource of all:

GayRealEstate.com — the #1 dedicated LGBTQ+ real estate resource for over 30 years.

On GayRealEstate.com, you can find:

  • LGBTQ+ friendly real estate agents nationwide
  • Verified gay and lesbian Realtors
  • LGBTQ+ real estate market information
  • Same-sex couple home buying guidance
  • LGBTQ+ real estate services
  • Gay and lesbian friendly neighborhoods
  • Relocation tools
  • LGBTQ+ home buyer & seller education

No other site offers this level of specialization, expertise, or community connection.

The holidays are more than just a season of celebration — they’re also a meaningful opportunity for LGBTQ+ home ownership, real estate transitions, and new beginnings. Whether you’re a first-time gay home buyer, a same-sex couple selling a home, or an LGBTQ+ family preparing to relocate, you deserve an experience grounded in respect, inclusion, and safety.

With the right preparation — and the right LGBTQ+ friendly real estate agent — your journey can be rewarding, affirming, and filled with new possibilities for the year ahead.

To find an LGBTQ+ real estate agent who understands your needs, visit GayRealEstate.com, the trusted leader in LGBTQ+ real estate services, resources, and representation for over three decades.


Scott Helms is president and owner of Gayrealestate.com.

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Real Estate

In real estate, it’s déjà vu all over again

1970s and ‘80s volatility led to creative financing options

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In the 1970s and ‘80s, sellers used creative mortgage options to entice buyers. Some of those trends are appearing again now.

In the 1970s and 1980s, mortgage interest rates climbed into the double digits and peaked above 18%. With rates like that, you needed more than a steady job and a down payment to buy a home — you needed creative financing ideas. 

Today’s market challenges may look different, but the response has been surprisingly familiar: unusual financing methods are making a comeback, along with some new ones that didn’t exist decades ago. Here is a brief overview of the most popular tools from that era. 

Assumable Mortgages were available with FHA, VA, and USDA loans and, until 1982, even Conventional mortgages. They allowed a buyer to take over the seller’s existing mortgage, including its interest rate, rather than getting a brand-new loan, while compensating the seller for the difference between the assumed loan balance and the contract price.

Often, a seller played a substantial role in a purchase. With Seller Financing (Owner Carry) the seller became the bank, letting the buyer make payments directly to them instead of to a traditional lender.

One variation on Seller Financing was the Land Contract. The seller was still the lender, but the buyer made loan payments to the seller, who then paid his own mortgage and pocketed the difference. The buyer would receive equitable title (the right to use and occupy the property), while the seller kept the title or deed until the contract was paid off or the property sold.

With Wraparound Mortgages, the seller created a new, larger loan for the buyer that “wrapped” around the existing mortgage at an agreed-upon rate. The buyer would then pay the seller, who would continue making mortgage payments on the existing balance, collecting payments and pocketing the spread. Whether title conveyed to the buyer or remained with the seller was negotiated between the parties. 

Unlike an assumption, when buying a home Subject To an existing mortgage, the buyer took title to the property and agreed to pay the seller’s mortgage directly to the lender plus any equity to the seller; the mortgage stayed in the seller’s name. Now, most mortgages have a Due on Sale clause that prohibits this kind of transaction without the expressed consent of the lender. 

Rent-to-Own was also a popular way to get into a home. While a potential buyer rented a property, the seller would offer an option to purchase for a set amount to be exercised at a later date (lease option) or allow a portion of the rent collected to be considered as a downpayment once accrued (lease purchase).

Graduated Payment Mortgage (GPM) loans were authorized by the banking industry in the mid-1970s and Adjustable Rate Mortgages (ARM) surfaced in the early 1980s. Both featured low initial payments that gradually increased over time. 

With the GPM, although lower than market to start, the interest rate was fixed and payment increases were scheduled. A buyer could rely on the payment amount and save accordingly. 

ARMs, on the other hand, had interest rates that could change based on the market index, with less predictability and a higher risk of rate shocks, as we saw during the Great Recession from 2007-2009.

While mortgage rates today aren’t anywhere near the extremes of the 1980s, buyers still face a tough environment: higher prices, limited inventory, and stricter lending standards. That combination has pushed people to explore tried and true alternatives and add new ones. 

Assumable mortgages and ARMs are on the table again and seller financing is still worth exploring. Just last week, I overheard a colleague asking about a land contract.

Lenders are beginning to use Alternative Credit Evaluation indicators, like rental payment history or bank cash-flow analysis, to assess borrower strength when making mortgage loan decisions.

There are Shared Equity Programs, where companies or nonprofits contribute part of a down payment in exchange for a share of the home’s future appreciation. With Crowdfunding Platforms, investors pool money online to finance real estate purchases or developments.

Another unconventional idea being debated today is the 50-year mortgage, designed to help buyers manage high home prices. Such a mortgage would have a 50-year repayment term, rather than the standard 30 years, lowering monthly payments by stretching them over a longer period.

Supporters argue that a 50-year mortgage could make monthly payments significantly more affordable for first-time buyers who feel priced out of the market. Critics, however, warn that while the monthly payment may be lower, the lifetime interest cost would be much higher.

What ties the past and present together is necessity. As long as affordability remains strained, creative financing – old and new – will continue to shape the way real estate gets bought and sold. As with everything real estate, my question will always be, “What’s next?”


Valerie M. Blake is a licensed Associate Broker in D.C., Maryland, and Virginia with RLAH @properties. Call or text her at 202-246-8602, email her at [email protected] or follow her on Facebook at TheRealst8ofAffairs.

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Real Estate

Could lower rates, lagging condo sales lure buyers to the table?

With pandemic behind us, many are making moves

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Condo sellers may offer buyers incentives to purchase their home. (Photo by Grand Warszawski/Bigstock)

Before the interest rates shot up around 2022, many buyers were making moves due to a sense of confinement, a sudden need to work from home, desire for space of their own, or just a general desire to shake up their lives.  In large metro areas like NYC, DC, Boston, Chicago, Miami and other markets where rents could be above $2k-$3k, people did the math and started thinking, “I could take the $30,000 a year I spend in rent and put that in an investment somewhere.”  

Then rates went up, people started staying put and decided to nest in the new home where they had just received a near 3% interest rate.  For others, the higher rates and inflation meant that dollars were just stretching less than they used to.  

Now – it’s been five  years since the onset of the pandemic, people who bought four years ago may be feeling the “itch” to move again, and the rates have started dropping down closer to 5% from almost 7% a few years ago.  

This could be a good opportunity for first time buyers to get into the market.  Rents have not shown much of a downward trend. There may be some condo sellers who are ready to move up into a larger home, or they may be finding that the job they have had for the last several years has “squeezed all the juice out of the fruit” and want to start over in a new city.  

Let’s review how renting a home and buying can be very different experiences:

  • The monthly payment stays (mostly) the same.  P.I.T.I. – Principal, Interest, Taxes and Insurance – those are the four main components of a home payment.  The taxes and insurance can change, but not as much or as frequently as a rent payment. These also may depend on where you buy, and how simple or complex a condo building is.
  • Condo fees help pay for the amenities in the building, put money in the building’s reserve funds account (an account used for savings for capital improvement projects, maintenance, and upkeep or additions to amenities)
  • Condos have restrictions on rental types and usage – AirBnB and may not be an option, and there could be a wait list to rent.  Most condo associations and lenders don’t like to see more than 50% of a building rented out to non-owner occupants.  Why?  Owners tend to take better care of their own building. 
  • A homeowner needs to keep a short list of available plumbers, electricians, maintenance people, HVAC service providers, painters, etc.
  • Condo owners usually attend their condo association meetings or at least read the notices or minutes to keep abreast of planned maintenance in the building, usage of facilities, and rules and regulations.  

Moving from renting to homeownership can be well worth the investment of time and energy.  After living in a home for five years, a condo owner might decide to sell, and find that when they close out the contract and turn the keys over to the new owner, they have participated in a “forced savings plan” and frequently receive tens of thousands of dollars for their investment that might have otherwise gone into the hands of a landlord.  

In addition, condo sellers may offer buyers incentives to purchase their home, if a condo has been sitting on the market for some time. A seller could offer such items as:

  • A pre-paid home warranty on the major appliances or systems of the house for the first year or two – that way if something breaks, it might be covered under the warranty.
  • Closing cost incentives – some sellers will help a cash strapped buyer with their closing costs.  One fun “trick” realtors suggest can be offering above the sales price of the condo, with a credit BACK to the buyer toward their closing costs.  *there are caveats to this plan
  • Flexible closing dates – some buyers need to wait until a lease is finished.
  • A seller may have already had the home “pre-inspected” and leave a copy of the report for the buyer to see, to give them peace of mind that a 3rd party has already looked at the major appliances and systems in the house. 

If the idea of perpetual renting is getting old, ask a Realtor or a lender what they can do to help you get into investing your money today. There are lots of ways to invest, but one popular way to do so is to put it where your rent check would normally go. And like any kind of seedling, that investment will grow over time. 


Joseph Hudson is a referral agent with Metro Referrals. He can be reached at 703-587-0597 or [email protected].

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