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Victory for gay dads is defeat for Trump
Ruling in parentage fight deals blow to State Department policy

Andrew Dvash-Banks and Elad Dvash-Banks always knew they wanted to have a family. They just didn’t know how difficult it would be.
“That was one of the earliest conversations that we had when we first started dating,” Andrew told the Blade days after they won a federal lawsuit over the citizenship of one of their twins. “It’s obviously a very important conversation that any couple has when they start dating, because that could be a deal-breaker. So we were both on the same page about it: we both wanted children.”
Andrew, 38, was an American in Israel pursuing his master’s degree in 2008 when he met Elad, an Israeli, now almost 34. Having a family “was always on the radar,” a goal they knew would only be achievable through alternative reproduction technology.
The couple also knew they wanted to raise their family in California. “The thing that kept us from being with all my family—my parents, my five brothers and sisters, my 14 nieces and nephews—was DOMA (the Defense of Marriage Act),” says Andrew. DOMA was the federal law that prohibited same-sex marriage and thus prevented Andrew from sponsoring his foreign husband in emigrating to America, an automatic right for married heterosexual couples.
After they finished their degrees in 2010, Andrew had to choose between his family in Los Angeles or “being with the man I love. I don’t think anyone should ever have to be in that situation, to have to choose between the two. Obviously, I chose the man I love,” says Andrew. The coupled moved to Toronto in 2010 and got married.
Three years later, after DOMA was overturned, they started the application process for Elad to get a green card. That was finally approved in 2015, so they started to plan their family.
“For same-sex couples, family planning is a different process from different-sex couples,” says Elad. “It requires research, it requires preparation, it requires saving, it requires a lot of things that other couples don’t have to go through.”
They decided on surrogacy that was “all-consuming, mentally, financially, and time-wise,” says Elad. Both contributed genetic materials and subsequently chose “the two highest quality embryos that coincidentally were one from my genetic material and another from Andrew’s genetic material to be used in the pregnancy.”
Aiden and Ethan Dvash-Banks were born four minutes apart in September 2016. Four months later, Andrew and Elad went to the U.S. consulate in Toronto to prepare for their permanent move to LA.
“We came prepared with the boys’ birth certificates—obviously, we are listed on each birth certificate, exclusively, the two of us on each— and all the documents that are required and all the fees to pay,” says Andrew. “We were shocked and baffled and hurt by the response that the State Department official gave us—that she was going to require us to take a DNA test to prove the genetic connection between myself, the American citizen, and both children.”
The official referred to a State Department manual “that interprets the Immigration and Nationality Act and has a biological requirement that does not exist in the actual immigration law,” Elad says, when assisted reproduction technology is involved.
“Her question not only undermined the fact that we are one family, not only created a distinction between both of our kids—that we were legally on their birth certificates from the day that they were born—she also created a distinction between us and other, heterosexual couples, that she would never have asked this question,” says a still angry Elad. “If Andrew and I were a man and a woman, we would show up at a consulate with two beautiful children that have both of our names, on both birth certificates, she would never ask that.”
Elad asked the official directly if she would have required a DNA test of an infertile American man in a heterosexual relationship who used a sperm donor. “It’s at my discretion who I ask for proof of genetic connection,’” Andrew recalls the official saying.
They took the DNA test only to have Aiden granted citizenship and Ethan denied when the results determined that Andrew was not his biological father. However, Ethan was granted a tourist visa that expired last December.
Andrew and Elad Dvash-Banks reached out to Immigration Equality and with the law firm of Sullivan & Cromwell LLP, filed suit against the State Department on Jan. 22, 2018. “The State Department is refusing to acknowledge the citizenship of children whose parents are same-sex married couples. This policy is not only illegal, it is unconstitutional,” Aaron C. Morris, executive director of Immigration Equality and the couples’ attorney, said in a statement. “This action by the State Department disenfranchises children born to bi-national same-sex parents and places an undue burden on their families.”
On Feb. 21, they won. Los Angeles-based District Court Judge John F. Walter wrote in his 11-page ruling that 2-year-old Ethan Dvash-Banks “has been an American citizen since birth.” He also called the State Department official’s interpretation of the citizenship law “strained” at best.
But Walker did not rule on the constitutional merits of the overall State Department policy, making the ruling limited in scope and therefore not necessarily applicable to other families. Immigration Equality is hoping a similar case the advocacy organization filed on the same day and is fighting in Washington on behalf of a lesbian couple living in London will tackle the inequality of the policy’s application to same-sex and heterosexual couples. A judge in that case is considering whether or not the case should be dismissed or go to trial.
Immigration Equality had been working with the Obama administration on updating the policy and Hillary Clinton’s campaign also seemed interested, Morris tells the Blade. When the Trump administration wouldn’t even talk to Immigration Equality, they started looking for alternative ways to help with legal services and advice.
The State Department issued a statement saying “it was reviewing the ruling, but did not respond to questions about what it would mean for the policy going forward,” the New York Times reported. They have 60 days to appeal the ruling.
“I’m an American citizen, my tax dollars are going the State Department. This consulate is representing me and my interests,” says Andrew. “Who are they to turn to me and tell me that my son is not my son? I cut his umbilical cord. I’ve been there since the minute he took his first breath. I’ve changed every poopy diaper. I’m his father. I’m on his birth certificate. Just because I don’t share a genetic connection with him doesn’t make me any less his father than Elad. So it’s very hurtful.”
“I think there’s a fundamental problem with presumption of parentage,” says Elad. “When you see a heterosexual couple with kids, you assume that both of those parents are the genetic parents of those kids. But that might not be correct, and in fact there are many heterosexual couples who are not both genetically related to their kids. In same-sex couples, this presumption does not exist. We don’t enjoy the presumption of parentage because we are in a same-sex relationship. And that is, in our mind, the problem with the distinction that the State Department is making.”
The couple say they feel “so relieved, and so happy, that the court agreed” that Ethan is the same as his twin brother,” says Elad. But “with all the happiness and the joy of the decision, no one can give us back the two years of stress, of sleepless nights, of worries, of health issues for us, that we had to endure—wrongfully, because it wasn’t our fault. The State Department made the wrong decision. The judge’s decision says that clearly—that Ethan was an American citizen at birth. So, with the joy and the happiness of the decision, things are now corrected and are as they were supposed to be. But no one can give us back those two years we lost.”
Morris notes the internal harm caused to both parents and a child who is told they are not equal to their sibling. But he also sees hope ahead.
“We’ve been fighting for a very long time to ensure equality and we are still winning,” says Morris. “It’s a never-ending struggle. But it’s always worth the fight.”
The Immigration Equality hotline is 212-714-2904. But Morris suggests going to the organization’s website where there is a lot of useful information to help get you to the right person: immigrationequality.org.
a&e features
Marc Shaiman reflects on musical success stories
In new memoir, Broadway composer talks ‘Fidler,’ ‘Wiz,’ and stalking Bette Midler
If you haven’t heard the name Marc Shaiman, you’ve most likely heard his music or lyrics in one of your favorite Broadway shows or movies released in the past 50 years. From composing the Broadway scores for Hairspray and Catch Me if You Can to most recently working on Only Murders in the Building, Hocus Pocus 2, and Mary Poppins Returns, the openly queer artist has had a versatile career — one that keeps him just an Oscar away from EGOT status.
The one thing the award-winning composer, lyricist, and writer credits with launching his successful career? Showing up, time and time again. Eventually, he lucked out in finding himself at the right place at the right time, meeting industry figures like Rob Reiner, Billy Crystal, and Bette Midler, who were immediately impressed with his musical instincts on the piano.
“Put my picture under the dictionary definition for being in the right place at the right time,” Shaiman says. “What I often try to say to students is, ‘Show up. Say yes to everything.’ Because you never know who is in the back of the theater that you had no idea was going to be there. Or even when you audition and don’t get the part. My book is an endless example of dreams coming true, and a lot of these came true just because I showed up. I raised my hand. I had the chutzpah!”
Recalling one example from his memoir, titled Never Mind the Happy: Showbiz Stories from a Sore Winner ( just hit bookshelves on Jan. 27), Shaiman says he heard Midler was only hiring Los Angeles-based artists for her world tour. At the young age of 20, the New York-based Shaiman took a chance and bought the cheapest flight he could find from JFK. Once landing in L.A., he called up Midler and simply asked: “Where’s rehearsal?”
“Would I do that nowadays? I don’t know,” Shaiman admits. “But when you’re young and you’re fearless … I was just obsessed, I guess you could say. Maybe I was a stalker! Luckily, I was a stalker who had the goods to be able to co-create with her and live up to my wanting to be around.”
On the occasion of Never Mind the Happy’s official release, the Bladehad the opportunity to chat with Shaiman about his decades-spanning career. He recalls the sexual freedom of his community theater days, the first time he heard someone gleefully yell profanities during a late screening of The Rocky Horror Picture Show, and why the late Rob Reiner was instrumental to both his career and his lasting marriage to Louis Mirabal. This interview has been edited and condensed.
BLADE: Naturally, a good place to start would be your book, “Never Mind the Happy.” What prompted you to want to tell the story of your life at this point in your career?
SHAIMAN: I had a couple of years where, if there was an anniversary of a movie or a Broadway show I co-created, I’d write about it online. People were always saying to me, “Oh my God, you should write a book!” But I see them say that to everybody. Someone says, “Oh, today my kitten knocked over the tea kettle.” “You should write a book with these hysterical stories.” So I just took it with a grain of salt when people would say that to me. But then I was listening to Julia Louis-Dreyfus’ podcast, and Jane Fonda was on talking about her memoir — not that I’m comparing myself to a career like Jane Fonda’s — but she felt it was time to take a life review. That really stuck in my head. At the time, I was sulking or moping about something that had not gone as well as I wished. And I guess I kind of thought, “Let me look back at all these things that I have done.” Because I have done a lot. I’m just weeks short of my 50th year in show business, despite how youthful I look! I just sat down and started writing before anyone asked, as far as an actual publisher.
I started writing as a way to try to remind myself of the joyous, wonderful things that have happened, and for me not to always be so caught up on what didn’t go right. I’ve been telling some of these stories over the years, and it was really fun to sit down and not just be at a dinner party telling a story. There’s something about the written word and really figuring out the best way to tell the story and how to get across a certain person’s voice. I really enjoyed the writing. It was the editing that was the hard part!
BLADE: You recall experiences that made you fall in love with the world of theater and music, from the days you would skip class to go see a show or work in regional productions. What was it like returning to those early memories?
SHAIMAN: Wonderful. My few years of doing community theater included productions that were all kids, and many productions with adults, where I was this freaky little 12-year-old who could play show business piano beyond my years. It was just bizarre! Every time a director would introduce me to another cast of adults, they’d be like, “Are you kidding?” I’d go to the piano, and I would sightread the overture to Funny Girl, and everybody said, “Oh, OK!” Those were just joyous, wonderful years, making the kind of friends that are literally still my friends. You’re discovering musical theatre, you’re discovering new friends who have the same likes and dreams, and discovering sex. Oh my god! I lost my virginity at the opening night of Jesus Christ Superstar, so I’m all for community theater!
BLADE: What do you recall from your early experiences watching Broadway shows? Did that open everything up for you?
SHAIMAN: I don’t remember seeing Fiddler on the Roof when I was a kid, but I remember being really enthralled with this one woman’s picture in the souvenir folio — the smile on her face as she’s looking up in the pictures or looking to her father for approval. I always remember zooming in on her and being fascinated by this woman’s face: turns out it was Bette Midler. So my love for Bette Midler began even before I heard her solo records.
Pippin and The Wiz were the first Broadway musicals I saw as a young teenager who had started working in community theater and really wanted to be a part of it. I still remember Pippin with Ben Vereen and all those hands. At the time, I thought getting a seat in the front row was really cool — I’ve learned since that it only hurts your neck, but I remember sitting in the front row at The Wiz as Stephanie Mills sang Home. Oh my god, I can still see it right now. And then I saw Bette Midler in concert, finally, after idolizing her and being a crazed fan who did nothing but listen to her records, dreaming that someday I’d get to play for her. And it all came true even before I turned 18 years old. I just happened to be in the right place at the right time, and met one of her backup singers and became their musical director. I was brought to a Bette Midler rehearsal. I still hadn’t even turned 18, she heard me play and said, “Stick around.” And I’ve stuck around close to 55 years! She’s going to interview me in L.A. at the Academy Museum. Would I have ever thought that Bette Midler would say yes to sitting with me, interviewing me about my life and career?
BLADE: That’s amazing. Has she had a chance to read the book yet?
SHAIMAN: She read it. We just talked yesterday, and she wants to ask the right questions at the event. And she even said to me, “Marc, I wasn’t even aware of all that you’ve done.” We’ve been great friends for all these years, but sometimes months or almost years go by where you’re not completely in touch.
a&e features
D.C. LGBTQ sports bar Pitchers listed for sale
Move follows months of challenges for local businesses in wake of Trump actions
A Santa Monica, Calif.-based commercial real estate company called Zacuto Group has released a 20-page online brochure announcing the sale of the D.C. LGBTQ sports bar Pitchers and its adjoining lesbian bar A League of Her Own.
The brochure does not disclose the sale price, and Pitchers owner David Perruzza told the Washington Blade he prefers to hold off on talking about his plans to sell the business at this time.
He said the sale price will be disclosed to “those who are interested.”
“Matthew Luchs and Matt Ambrose of the Zacuto Group have been selected to exclusively market for sale Pitchers D.C., located at 2317 18th Street, NW in Washington, D.C located in the vibrant and nightlife Adams Morgan neighborhood,” the sales brochure states.
“Since opening its doors in 2018, Pitchers has quickly become the largest and most prominent LGBTQ+ bar in Washington, D.C., serving as a cornerstone of D.C.’s modern queer nightlife scene,” it says, adding, “The 10,000+ SF building designed as a large-scale inclusive LGBTQ+ sports bar and social hub, offering a welcoming environment for the entire community.”
It points out that the Pitchers building, which has two years remaining on its lease and has a five-year renewal option, is a multi-level venue that features five bar areas, “indoor and outdoor seating, and multiple patios, creating a dynamic and flexible layout that supports a wide range of events and high customer volume.”
“Pitchers D.C. is also home to A League of Her Own, the only dedicated lesbian bar in Washington, D.C., further strengthening its role as a vital and inclusive community space at a time when such venues are increasingly rare nationwide,” the brochure says.
Zacuto Group sales agent Luchs, who serves as the company’s senior vice president, did not immediately respond to a phone message left by the Blade seeking further information, including the sale price.
News of Perruzza’s decision to sell Pitchers and A League of Her Own follows his Facebook postings last fall saying Pitchers, like other bars in D.C., was adversely impacted by the Trump administration’s deployment of National Guard soldiers on D.C. streets
In an Oct. 10 Facebook post, Perruzza said he was facing, “probably the worst economy I have seen in a while and everyone in D.C. is dealing with the Trump drama.” He told the Blade in a Nov. 10 interview that Pitchers continued to draw a large customer base, but patrons were not spending as much on drinks.
The Zacuto Group sales brochure says Pitchers currently provides a “rare combination of scale, multiple bars, inclusivity, and established reputation that provides a unique investment opportunity for any buyer seeking a long-term asset with a loyal and consistent customer base,” suggesting that, similar to other D.C. LGBTQ bars, business has returned to normal with less impact from the Trump related issues.
The sales brochure can be accessed here.
a&e features
Alexander Skarsgård describes ‘Pillion’ in 3 words: lube, sweat, leather
Highly anticipated film a refreshingly loving look at Dom-sub life
Whether you’ve seen him in popular HBO series like “True Blood,” “Succession,” or “Big Little Lies,” the dynamic Swedish actor Alexander Skarsgård has that smoldering gaze that immediately draws viewers in.
Following in the footsteps of his father Stellan, (who just won the Golden Globe for “Sentimental Value”) the Golden Globe, Emmy, and SAG winner Skarsgård continues to be an actor who is fearless in the roles he takes on.
That courageousness is evident in Skarsgård’s latest film, the BDSM black comedy “Pillion,”which he also executive produces. He plays Ray, the handsome, hyper-dominant leader of a gay bike gang. The film was written and directed by Harry Lighton, and is based on the 2020 novel “Box Hill,” by Adam Mars-Jones.
“This was a small film by a first time filmmaker and it wasn’t financed when I read it,” Skarsgård told journalists at a recent awards news conference. “And I felt that, if I could help in any small way of getting it financed, I wanted to, because I thought it was such an incredible screenplay and I believe in Harry Lighton so much as a filmmaker. And it felt tonally unlike anything I’d ever read. It was such an exciting, surprising read.”
Skarsgård was blown away by the quality of the unconventional script. “When I heard BDSM relationship, biker culture, I expected something very different. I didn’t expect it to have so much sweetness and tenderness and awkwardness.”
For the sex scenes and nudity with co-star, Harry Melling — who excels in his portrayal as Ray’s submissive Colin — Skarsgård talked very early on with Lighton about how he wanted to shoot those scenes, and why they were in the film.
“I often find sex scenes quite boring in movies because a lot of the tension is in the drama leading up to two people hooking up, or several people hooking up, as in our movie. But what I really enjoyed about these scenes — they are all pivotal moments in Colin’s journey and his development. It’s the first time he gets a blowjob. It’s the first time he has sex. It’s the first time he has an orgasm. And these are pivotal moments for him, so they mean a lot. And that made those scenes impactful and important.”
Skarsgård was happy that Lighton’s script didn’t have gratuitous scenes that shock for the sake of just shocking. “I really appreciated that because I find that when this subculture is portrayed, it’s often dangerous and crazy and wild and something like transgressive.”
He continued: “I really love that Harry wanted it to feel real. It can be sexy and intense, but also quite loving and sweet. And you can have an orgy in the woods, rub up against a Sunday roast with the family. And that kind of feels real.”
One of the obstacles Skarsgård had to work with was Ray’s emotionally distant personality.
“Ray is so enigmatic throughout the film and you obviously never find out anything about him, his past. He doesn’t reveal much. He doesn’t expose himself. And that was a challenge to try to make the character interesting, because that could easily feel quite flat…That was something that I thought quite a lot about in pre production…there are no big dramatic shifts in his arc.”
For the film, Lighton consulted the GMBCC, the UK’s largest LGBT+ biker club, attending their annual meetup at which 80 riders were present.
“Working with these guys was extraordinary and it brought so much texture and richness to the film to have them present,” said Skarsgård. “They were incredibly sweet and guiding with us — I can’t imagine making this movie without them. I’d go on a road trip with them anytime.”
Added Skarsgård: “To sum up ‘Pillion’ in three words: lube, sweat, and leather. I hope people will connect with Colin and his journey, and come to understand the nuance and complexity of his bond with Ray.”
This year is shaping up to be a busy one for Skarsgård. “Pillion” premieres in select cities on Feb. 6 and then moves into wide release on Feb. 20. After that for Skarsgård is a role in queer ally Charli XCX’s mockumentary, “The Moment,” which premieres at the Sundance Film Festival. HIs sci-fi comedy series, Apple TV’s “Murderbot,” which he also executive produces, will begin filming its second season. And this weekend, he hosts “Saturday Night Live.”
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