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Canadian Olympic swimmer comes out in online essay

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Olympian Markus Thormeyer says “It’s OK to be gay” (Image via Instagram)

An Olympic athlete has come out as gay in an emotional online essay.

Canadian swimmer Markus Thormeyer, who competed in the 4 x 100 freestyle relay team in the 2016 Olympics, posted his coming out story on the website OutSports Wednesday, beginning his narrative by revealing that “the secret I was keeping” was “holding me back” when he began training with his team in Vancouver in 2015.

“Creating these intimate bonds with my teammates was amazing, but it also made me feel guilty at the same time.” the 22-year-old athlete writes. “They were exposing their most raw essence in the pool every day, but I would come to the pool emotionally guarded and not do the same. Following every interaction with my teammates, I would feel a bit sad because they weren’t getting to know the real me, just some surface-level shell I fabricated.”

He goes on to explain, “I wanted to keep it a secret that I was gay for multiple reasons. I was scared they wouldn’t accept me. I did not want to create drama in the training group, I didn’t know how they would react. I was scared of negative responses.”

He also says that he feared his sexuality would “compromise” the team’s chances of making the Olympics. “I didn’t want to take that chance, so I kept my walls up and generally avoided talks about sexuality and dating,” he says.

At first, the swimmer says, he “thought it would be easy” to hide his secret, but “the following months in the closet” were much more difficult than he imagined, and got “progressively harder every day.”

“Some days I dreaded going to the pool in fear that my sexuality would be exposed,” Thormeyer writes. “I’d show up late and leave early to social gatherings and workouts. Some days it would even spiral and I would question why I was swimming and be scared of my own goals.

“Having to deal with that was awful. Every day felt like a threat and not an opportunity.”

In the end, the pressure of keeping his secret led to an emotional breakdown.

“I felt helpless on my bedroom floor, but I also knew that I couldn’t keep living like this,” he reveals. “At this point I knew that I would either burn out and or take control of my destiny. I decided to take control (…) and come out to my teammates. I always wanted them to know I was gay, but now I was ready for them to know.”

Because he is “not a dramatic person,” he says, the swimmer decided to slip the revelation casually into a conversation that came up with his teammates about relationships.

“I casually said that I had never been on a date with a guy before and I was kind of scared of it. That I’d probably be a nervous wreck and ruin it.

“Then, without a sliver of judgment or skipping a beat, my friends told me that I’d probably be fine on a date as long as I just had a good time and just was comfortable being myself.”

The instant acceptance and support changed everything for the Olympic then-hopeful.

“Knowing that I had such amazing teammates supporting me so strongly regardless of my sexual orientation was one of the best feelings in the world,” he says. “There was no drama and it was exactly what I wanted.”

“Feeling safe in my training environment and having no distractions allowed me to push myself to new limits in the pool,” he goes on to add. “My training got better, I got stronger and my technique got sharper. Not only that, but I also broke down some walls between me and my teammates and our relationships flourished. Training with them fostered relationships that will last a lifetime.”

After coming out to his fellow competitors, the swimmer and 6 of his teammates went on to qualify for the 2016 Summer Olympics. Thormeyer himself has enjoyed continued success, winning the gold in the 200-meter backstroke and bronze in the 100-meter backstroke in the FINA Champions Swim Series in China. He plans to join the Olympic trials this Spring in order to qualify for this year’s Summer Olympics in Tokyo Olympics.

He concludes his inspiring story by announcing his decision to join Team Canada’s OneTeam, an organization which promotes LGBTQ inclusion and respect in schools and sport throughout the country.

“I want to share my story and be able to spread the message that it’s OK to be gay. Life is much better when you fully embrace you for who you are.”

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Bars & Parties

Impulse Group DC to host fundraiser

Giving Tuesday and Happy Hour held at Thurst Lounge

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Thurst Lounge (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

Impulse Group DC, a local advocacy organization, will host “Giving Tuesday and Happy Hour” on Tuesday, Dec. 2 at 6 p.m. at Thurst Lounge. 

This event is a special happy hour fundraiser filled with good vibes, great food, and community connection. DJ Obie will be on deck keeping the energy high while you enjoy tacos, cocktails, and the kind of atmosphere only Thurst can deliver.

A portion of every signature cocktail sold goes directly toward supporting Impulse Group D.C.’s work in sexual health, mental health, harm reduction, and social justice for the D.C. community.

Admission is free and more details are available on Eventbrite

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Calendar

Calendar: November 28-December 4

LGBTQ events in the days to come

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Friday, November 28

“Center Aging Friday Tea Time” will be at 12 p.m. in person at the DC Center for the LGBT Community’s new location at 1827 Wiltberger St., N.W. To RSVP, visit the DC Center’s website or email [email protected]

Go Gay DC will host “LGBTQ+ Community Happy Hour” at 7 p.m. at Dupont Italian Kitchen Bar. This event is ideal for making new friends, professional networking, idea-sharing, and community building. This event is free and more details are available on Eventbrite.

Saturday, November 29

Go Gay DC will host “LGBTQ+ Community Brunch” at 12 p.m. at Freddie’s Beach Bar & Restaurant. This fun weekly event brings the DMV area LGBTQ+ community, including allies, together for delicious food and conversation.  Attendance is free and more details are available on Eventbrite.

Sunday, November 30

Go Gay DC will host “LGBTQ+ Coffee and Conversation” at 12 p.m. at As You Are. Guests are encouraged to come and enjoy stimulating conversation. For more details, visit Eventbrite.

Monday, December 1

“Center Aging: Monday Coffee Klatch” will be at 10 a.m. on Zoom. This is a social hour for older LGBTQ adults. Guests are encouraged to bring a beverage of choice. For more information, contact Adam ([email protected]).

“Soulfully Queer: LGBTQ+ Emotional Health and Spirituality Drop-In” will be at 3 p.m. at the DC Center for the LGBT Community. This group will meet weekly for eight weeks, providing a series of drop-in sessions designed to offer a safe, welcoming space for open and respectful conversation. Each session invites participants to explore themes of spirituality, identity, and belonging at their own pace, whether they attend regularly or drop in occasionally. For more details visit the DC Center’s website.

Tuesday, December 2 

Universal Pride Meeting will be at 7 p.m. on Zoom. This group seeks to support, educate, empower, and create change for people with disabilities. Email [email protected] with any questions. 

Friends of Dorothy Cafe will host “Choose Our Blend” at 6 p.m. at Stardust Vintage & Gift. Guests are encouraged to come sip, sample, and vote on a lineup of custom coffee blends from Rustic Route Coffee Co., a DMV-based queer-owned roaster. Guests’ votes will help Rustic Route choose the café’s official signature roast. Event organizers will take donations, and more details are available on Eventbrite

Wednesday, December 3

Job Club will be at 6 p.m. on Zoom. This is a weekly job support program to help job entrants and seekers, including the long-term unemployed, improve self-confidence, motivation, resilience and productivity for effective job searches and networking — allowing participants to move away from being merely “applicants” toward being “candidates.” For more information, email [email protected] or visit www.thedccenter.org/careers.

Center Aging Women’s Social Discussion Group will be at 7 p.m. on Zoom. This group is a place where older LGBTQ women can meet and socialize with one another. There will be discussion, activities, and a chance for guests to share what they want future events to include. For more details, email [email protected]

Thursday, December 4

The DC Center’s Fresh Produce Program will be held all day at the DC Center for the LGBT Community. People will be informed on Wednesday at 5 p.m. if they are picked to receive a produce box. No proof of residency or income is required. For more information, email [email protected] or call 202-682-2245. 

Virtual Yoga Class will be at 7 p.m. on Zoom. This is a free weekly class focusing on yoga, breathwork, and meditation. For more details, visit the DC Center for the LGBT Community’s website.

API Queer Support Group will be at 7 p.m. on Zoom. This is a support group for the Asian and Pacific Islander Queer Community. For more details, email [email protected].

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Theater

D.C. theater scene has something for everyone this holiday season

‘Nutcracker,’ ‘A Christmas Carol,’ and much more

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Michael Russotto in ‘A Christmas Carol: A Ghost Story of Christmas’ at Olney Theatre Center. (Photo by Teresa Castracane Photography)

With its familiar music, yuletide imagery, and storytelling, theater can be a big part of the holidays. Add to that making memories and theater tickets wrapped as presents under the tree, and it’s a seasonal no brainer.

Folger Theatre presents “Resplendent Joy: Christmas Traditions from Spain and Portugal” (Dec. 5-14); the marvelous Folger Consort will perform early Spanish Christmas carols and traditional holiday music from early modern Spain and Portugal: folger.edu/resplendent

At Round House Theatre, playwright Sam Holcroft’s “Rules for Living” (Dec. 3-Jan. 4) makes its U.S. premiere. The darkly funny holiday comedy was a hit in London and is now hoping to repeat that success with a version tailored for the states. The seven-person cast includes versatile actors Naomi Jacobson and real-life spouse John Lescault. Ryan Rillette directs. roundhousetheatre.org

Theatre J presents “Chanukah in the Dark” (Dec. 6-21), an hour-long play ideal for ages five and up. “When the lights go out during Chanukah, Max and family begin sharing songs, stories, and traditions — only to discover the lights they needed and the miracles they searched for were in their midst all along.”  edcjcc.org

The Cathedral Choral Society’s “Joy of Christmas” (Dec. 13-14) presents a wonderful program of carols and beloved holiday favorites at the festively decorated National Cathedral. The program features Seraph Brass, organist Edward Hewes, Carillonneur Edward M. Nassor, percussionist Mary La Blanc of “The President’s Own” U.S. Marine Band, and the Eastern Concert Choir from Eastern Senior High School. Cathedralchoralsociety.org 

With “The Holiday Show,” (Dec. 13, 14, and 20), the Gay Men’s Chorus returns to entertain audiences with its annual and most popular show. 

This year the holiday extravaganza is bigger than ever at historic Lincoln Theatre with new, soulful arrangements of favorite holiday carols: “The reindeer will be high-kicking and the snowflakes will sparkle. Songs include “O Holy Night,” “Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer,” “Let It Snow,” “We Wish You the Merriest,” and “Go Tell It on the Mountain.’” gmcw.org

At Olney’s intimate Mulitz-Gudelsky Theatre Lab, out actor Michael Russotto is back for the holiday season in his solo show “Christmas Carol: A Ghost Story of Christmas” (through Dec. 28). The talented Russotto portrays nearly 50 different characters from the Charles Dickens classic, that proves “funnier and far more relevant than you might imagine.” Olneytheatre.org

Also on holiday offer in the DMV are a jolly bunch of musical chestnuts as well as reliable Christmas crowd-pleasers.

Included on the roster is Olney Theatre’s production of Jerry Herman’s “Hello, Dolly!” (through Jan. 4) starring the mega-talented Nova Y. Payton. Based on the play “The Matchmaker” by famed gay playwright Thornton Wilder, the musical has proved a vehicle for many a diva including Carol Channing, Pearl Bailey, Bette Midler, and Barbra Streisand. Now Payton dons the mantle and the buzz is good.

Another beloved musical is “Fiddler on the Roof” (through Jan. 25), the story of Tevye, a poor Jewish milkman, his family and their tight-knit community who honor tradition while contending with pogroms in Czarist Russia. Currently being performed intimately in the round at Signature Theatre in Arlington and directed by Joe Calarco, the large cast features actors Douglas Sills, Chrisopher Bloch, and terrific out actor Jake Loewenthal as the poor tailor Motel Kamzoil, all singing Broadway favorites like “Sunrise, Sunset” “If I Were a Rich Man” and “Matchmaker.” sigtheatre.org  

At Shakespeare Theatre Company’s Harman Hall is Frank Loesser’s “Guys and Dolls” (through Jan. 4). Based on tales from famed American journalist Damon Runyon, the show focuses on two overlapping love stories set in Depression-era Times Square. The terrific score includes songs like “Luck Be a Lady,” “Sit Down, You’re Rockin’ the Boat,” “A Bushel and a Peck,” and more songs you’ll know. Directed by Francesca Zambello and choreographed by Joshua Bergasse. 

The cast includes Julie Benko, Lamont Brown, and Holly Twyford as General Matilda B. Cartwright, which is reason enough to buy a ticket. shakespearetheatre.org 

And for hardcore traditionalists there’s the Washington Ballet’s “The Nutcracker” (through Dec. 29) with its balletic magic at the charming gilded Warner Theatre. The beloved production of Tchaikovsky’s ballet, here set in 1882 Georgetown, features a retinue of agile partiers, children, soldiers, rats, and notable figures from American history.  washingtonballet.org

And last but hardly least, historic Ford’s Theatre presents “A Christmas Carol” (through Dec. 31), an enduring Washington tradition since I was youngish. Conceived by Michael Baron, this charming Dickens’ moneymaker again spotlights Craig Wallace as miserly Ebenezer Scrooge who after a night of ghostly visits, rediscovers Christmas joy. Fords.org

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