Connect with us

Opinions

COVID-19 panic: We need to calm down

Seven tips for how to do that

Published

on

coronavirus, gay news, Washington Blade, COVID-19 pandemic
Frank Sanchez, Ph.D., is a clinical psychologist. (Photo courtesy Sanchez)

Taylor Swift’s “You Need To Calm Down” seems to play on a loop in my head. As a clinical psychologist, treating dozens of people paralyzed in panic over the COVID-19 pandemic, I’m thinking it might not be so bad to consider the psychological wisdom in the lyrics of this hit pop song.

We also might do well to recall words of President Franklin D. Roosevelt during the Great Depression: “The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.”

As the COVID-19 threatens our health, our financial stability, our ability to socialize and connect, it is the anxiety because of the disease that could be more damaging to our health than disease itself. Panic is spreading more rapidly than the actual virus.

So, alright, we need to calm down. But how? Here are seven strategies I share with my clients.

Limit your television news consumption. I am not suggesting that you should not stay informed. But there is a difference between getting information and being obsessed. Being glued to cable news coverage or your social media feed, with messages about just how bad it is and how it is going to get worse does nothing but fuel our anxieties. Give yourself a limit. I recommend no more than 30 minutes a day. And never watch the news or surf your newsfeed before going to sleep. You never see a headline that says, “Calming News.” It’s always “Breaking,” “Warning,” “Alert” – all of which make anxious bedfellows in your head as you are trying to get some sleep.

Get plenty of sleep. Exhaustion can compromise our physical immune system and our mental health. So, get at least seven hours of sleep each night.

Don’t buy into the hysteria. I know this is easier said than done. There is a drumbeat of “lack” and “not enough.” We hear the news that there is a shortage of toilet paper, bottled water and food so people flock to Costco, Walmart, and their local markets to have their worst fears come to life. The drama is alluring. “OMG! There is no Purell! We are all going to die!” I saw one woman in her pajamas frantically throwing items in her cart, terror stricken that someone else might get that last can of Pork ‘N Beans before she did. Breathe. Hysteria breeds hysteria. Avoid the supermarkets and superstores if you can. If you can’t, then make a regular shopping list, go shopping during non-peak hours, recognize in advance that you may not find what you are looking for today, and be kind to others. Also, ask yourself, why do you feel compelled to go shopping at this moment? Is it a real need or are you propelled by fear?

Take inventory. This is a good time to go through our shelves and our freezer and take stock of what we actually have. It will help reduce anxiety to know the facts. “Right now, I have four bars of soap, ten cans of soup, five packs of spaghetti, three frozen chicken breasts and a can of pumpkin pie filling.” Whatever it is, it is real; it is tangible; and that knowledge can be reassuring. It is also a good time to take inventory of the things you have to be grateful for. Taking inventory of the things that you appreciate — writing a gratitude list is always a good thing. It creates peace of mind.

Set a Schedule. Many working in the hospitality industry have been laid off, people are working from home, there is nothing normal about our current experience. Creating and keeping a schedule provides predictability. Some people react to stress stimuli by shutting down. This “one foot in front of the other” approach helps us keep going. It also helps our minds to stop spinning into a world of imagined “what might be” scenarios that only freak us out. Waking up at a certain time, lunch at a certain time, bed at a certain time helps create certainty in an uncertain world. It is also key to get showered and get dressed in the morning like you would normally do. We are creating behavioral anchors to generate stability and calm.

Stay connected. We are social animals. Therefore, social distancing can have devastating consequences. This is especially true for the elderly in the LGBTQ+ community who often feel isolated and alone anyway and may be scared as they hear the warnings that being of a certain age and having depressed immune systems put them at greater risk. Make a list of five to 10 people in your life who are your touchstones to humanity: your best friends, relatives, colleagues from work. Then, add to it, two or three others who might need someone: a friend who just moved away, an elderly neighbor, that guy from your AA meeting. Now, commit to yourself to call them, not texting, but calling, a few times a week just to touch base. Research shows that when we talk to another person and share our stories, the negative psychological impacts of challenging experiences are lessened. This will help you and those to whom you reach out remember we are not alone.

Cut yourself some slack. We did not wake up and suddenly become the Dalai Lama, so finding our inner peace in the Coronavirus chaos may elude us from time to time and that needs to be okay.

With the COVID-19 pandemic we are navigating uncharted territory and these are anxious times. Our goal is not perfect serenity but taking baby steps toward mental manageability. In other words, we need to calm down.

Advertisement
FUND LGBTQ JOURNALISM
SIGN UP FOR E-BLAST

Opinions

The felon in the White House must be stopped

Are there any decent Republican members of Congress left?

Published

on

President Donald Trump (Screen capture via White House/YouTube)

We are up shit’s creek if the felon in the White House actually thinks he has a Nobel Peace Prize. If he believes he deserves one, or Venezuelan opposition leader Maria Corina Machado had any other reason to give him hers, than it was easier, and less degrading, than going on her knees to him, as a number of men already have. I don’t know if she understood how many millions the medal could be worth. Instead, she could have used it for her people, if she didn’t want to keep it. 

Machado was awarded the Nobel Prize for her work for the Venezuelan people. She spoke up for them, and fought for them. The felon couldn’t care less about them. He proved that by invading, and then supported Maduro’s vice president as president. He said he, and his fascist cohorts, would run the country, and is now stealing their oil and personally deciding what to do with it. After U.S. troops captured Venezuelan President Nicolás Maduro, Trump said, Venezuelan opposition leader Maria Corina Machado “doesn’t have the support within Venezuela to be its next leader, she was not consulted prior to the operation.” He went on to say, “I think it would be very tough for her to be the leader. She doesn’t have the support within or the respect within the country.” This is the slime bag she gave her Nobel Peace Prize medal to. I hope she is not naïve enough to believe he really cares about her, or her countrymen, and women. 

Trump is vile, sick, and mentally deranged. He is threatening foes and allies alike. They see bending a knee to him only works for the moment, but has no long-term impact on his tiny brain. Today, he is threatening Greenland, and our NATO allies are moving their military to Greenland to protect it against the United States. Now he is threatening them with new tariffs. That would have once been unfathomable. He is saber rattling over Iran, Colombia, even Mexico. He is bombing Nigeria and Syria. 

If that weren’t enough, he threatens to use the Insurrection Act to send the military into cities here. He has already sent in thousands of ICE agents. ICE is classified as a federal law enforcement agency under the Department of Homeland Security. They have authority to arrest, detain, and investigate immigration violations. However, the law is clear; ICE agents do not have unlimited power. They face significant constitutional restrictions that many people don’t realize, especially when it comes to entering homes and private spaces. But what is clear, in Minneapolis today, some of the agents are acting like the Gestapo. They are smashing car windows, pulling people out of their cars, invading homes, and workplaces, all without first having any proof the people they are going after are guilty of anything. I believe we need fair immigration laws, and they should be enforced. But this is clearly not what the felon is doing. The felon in the White House and his incompetent stooge at Homeland Security, Kristi Noem, who has no idea what the hell she is doing, are acting egregiously, and making a mockery of our democracy.  

The president, Noem, Hegseth, Bondi, and the other incompetents in the felon’s Cabinet, simply pretend to forget the history of the United States. They don’t want to accept the truth; we are a nation of immigrants. It is immigrants who built our country, and are still building it. My parents were immigrants escaping from Hitler, and they came here and built a life, and in doing so, added to the greatness of our country. I want every person around the world who needs to escape from dictators, and despots, to be able to do the same as my parents did. We need to build an immigration system that allows them to do that. Instead, because of what this felon is doing, we are seeing American citizens thinking of leaving this country, and looking for asylum in others. That is really sick, but it’s happening.   

Sitting in the Oval Office today we have a felon who is reveling in becoming the war president. He is taking the United States down an incredibly dangerous path, threatening our own citizens with violence here at home, and doing the same to our allies around the world. He, and the incompetents and fascists surrounding him, need to be stopped. If there are any decent Republican members of Congress left, they need to join with Democrats, and the voters, to stop him.


Peter Rosenstein is a longtime LGBTQ rights and Democratic Party activist.

Continue Reading

Commentary

The power of no

Pick one priority this year, not 10

Published

on

(Photo by Damian Palus/Bigstock)

January arrives with optimism. New year energy. Fresh possibilities. A belief that this could finally be the year things change. And every January, I watch people respond to that optimism the same way. By adding.

More workouts. More structure. More goals. More commitments. More pressure to transform. We add healthier meals. We add more family time. We add more career focus. We add more boundaries. We add more growth. Somewhere along the way, transformation becomes a list instead of a direction.

But what no one talks about enough is this: You can only receive what you actually have space for. You don’t have unlimited energy. You have 100 percent. That’s it.  Not 120. Not 200. Not grind harder and magically find more.

Your body knows this even if your calendar ignores it. Your nervous system knows it even if your ambition doesn’t want to admit it. When you try to pour more into a cup that’s already full, something spills. Usually it’s your peace. Or your consistency. Or your health.

What I’ve learned over time is that most people don’t need more motivation. They need clarity. Not more goals, but priority. Not more opportunity, but discernment.

So this January, instead of asking what you’re going to add, I want to offer something different. What if this year becomes a season of no.

No to things that drain you. No to things that distract you. No to things that look good on paper but don’t feel right in your body. And to make this real, here’s how you actually do it.

Identify your one true priority and protect it

Most people struggle with saying no because they haven’t clearly said yes to anything first. When everything matters, nothing actually does. Pick one priority for this season. Not 10. One.  Once you identify it, everything else gets filtered through that lens. Does this support my priority, or does it compete with it?

Earlier this year, I had two leases in my hands. One for Shaw and one for National Landing in Virginia. From the outside, the move felt obvious. Growth is celebrated. Expansion is rewarded. More locations look like success. But my gut and my nervous system told me I couldn’t do both.

Saying no felt like failure at first. It felt like I was slowing down when I was supposed to be speeding up. But what I was really doing was choosing alignment over optics.

I knew what I was capable of thriving in. I knew my limits. I knew my personal life mattered. My boyfriend mattered. My family mattered. My physical health mattered. My mental health mattered. Looking back now, saying no was one of the best decisions I could have made for myself and for my team.

If something feels forced, rushed, or misaligned, trust that signal. If it’s meant for you, it will come back when the timing is right.

Look inside before you look outside

So many of us are chasing who we think we’re supposed to be— who the city needs us to be. Who social media rewards. Who our resume says we should become next. But clarity doesn’t come from noise. It comes from stillness. Moments of silence. Moments of gratitude. Moments where your nervous system can settle. Your body already knows who you are long before your ego tries to upgrade you.  

One of the most powerful phrases I ever practiced was simple: You are enough.

I said it for years before I believed it. And when I finally did, everything shifted. I stopped chasing growth just to prove something. I stopped adding just to feel worthy.  I could maintain. I could breathe. I could be OK where I was.

Gerard from Baltimore was enough. Anything else I added became extra.

Turning 40 made this clearer than ever. My twenties were about finding myself. My thirties were about proving myself. My forties are about being myself.

I wish I knew then what I know now. I hope the 20 year olds catch it early. I hope the 30 year olds don’t wait as long as I did.

Because the only way to truly say yes to yourself is by saying no first.

Remove more than you add

Before you write your resolutions, try this. If you plan to add three things this year, identify six things you’re willing to remove. Habits. Distractions. Commitments. Energy leaks.

Maybe growth doesn’t look like expansion for you this year. Maybe it looks like focus. Maybe it looks like honoring your limits. January isn’t asking you to become superhuman. It’s asking you to become intentional. And sometimes the most powerful word you can say for your future is no.

With love always, Coach G.


Gerard Burley, also known as Coach G, is founder and CEO of Sweat DC.

Continue Reading

Greenland

The Greenland lesson for LGBTQ people

Playbook is the same for our community and Europeans

Published

on

(Photo by Maridav/Bigstock)

I understand my own geopolitical limits and don’t pretend to know how Europeans should respond to U.S. threats to seize Greenland or retaliate against anyone who opposes them. However, as I mentioned in March, it’s clear that for Europeans and LGBTQ+ people alike, hug-and-kiss diplomacy is over.

In practice, that means responding to the U.S. administration’s provocations with dialogue, human‑rights rhetoric, and reasoning may now be counterproductive. It looks weak. At some point, Europeans will have to draw a line and show how bullying allies and breaking international agreements carry a cost — and that the cost is unpredictable. On the surface, they have few options; like LGBTQ+ communities, they are very behind in raw power and took too long to wake up. But they still have leverage, and they can still inflict harm.​

Maybe it is time for them to call the bluff. America has a great deal to lose, not least its reputation and credibility on the world stage. Stephen Miller and Pete Hegseth, with all their bravado, obviously underestimate both the short‑ and long‑term geopolitical price of ridicule. Force the United States to contemplate sending troops into an ally’s territory, and let the consequences play out in international opinion, institutions, and markets.​

In the United States, LGBTQ+ communities have already endured a cascade of humiliations and live under constant threat of more. In 2025 our symbols and heroes were systematically erased or defaced: the USNS Harvey Milk was quietly renamed after a straight war hero, Admiral Rachel Levine’s title and image were scrubbed from official materials, Pride flags were banned from public buildings, World AIDS Day events were defunded or stripped of queer content, the Orlando memorial and other sites of mourning were targeted, the U.S. lead a campaign against LGBTQ+ language at the U.N., and rainbow crosswalks were literally ripped up or painted over. We cannot simply register our distress; we must articulate a response.​

In practice, that means being intentional and focused. We should select a few unmistakable examples: a company that visibly broke faith with us, a vulnerable political figure whose actions demand consequences, and an institution that depends on constituencies that still need us. The tools matter less than the concentration of force — boycotts, shaming, targeted campaigning all qualify — so long as crossing certain lines produces visible, memorable costs.​

A friend suggested we create what he called a “c***t committee.” I liked the discipline it implies: a deliberate, collective decision to carefully select a few targets and follow through. We need a win badly in 2026.

These thoughts are part of a broader reflection on the character of our movement I’d like to explore in the coming months. My friends know that anger and sarcasm carried me for a long time, but eventually delivered diminishing returns. I am incrementally changing these aspects of my character that stand in the way of my goals. The movement is in a similar place: the tactics that served us best are losing effectiveness because the terrain has shifted. The Greenland moment clarifies that we must have a two-pronged approach: building long-term power and, in the short term, punching a few people in the nose.

Fabrice Houdart published this column on his weekly Substack newsletter. The Washington Blade has republished it with his permission.

Continue Reading

Popular