Living
Queery: Bill Gray
20 questions with the D.C. gay bar mainstay

Bill Gray (Blade photo by Michael Key)
Bill Gray is in a period of transition. He left EFN Lounge/Motley Bar shortly before it closed abruptly last week and is formulating a potential new business plan he calls Grind Espresso Bar. But he wants to find co-partners before proceeding. The 34-year-old Philadelphia native earned a business degree in Pittsburgh but returned to Philly where he opened seven Jazz & Java coffee shops in the region between 1997 and 2005. The chain was eventually sold to Saxbys.
Gray moved to D.C. in the summer of 2005 but then moved to Tuscon, Ariz., for about a year (2006 mostly) before settling in Washington in early 2007, where he became a staple bartender of the local gay scene having mixed drinks at several bars and clubs before taking the reins at EFN Lounge/Motley about 18 months ago. Several of his relocation decisions have been motivated by love, which led him to relocate both to Arizona and D.C. “I think I was raised to be an Italian housewife,” he says. “Just kidding, though that is why I moved to Arizona for my boyfriend at the time who was an engineer. I did what I felt was right for my family at the time.”
He admits to being a hopeless romantic and is in a new relationship now but doesn’t want to talk details. He says hardcore chiseled abs — Gray’s are displayed in all their glory on his Facebook page — are “not that difficult to get; I learned a long time ago that abs are mainly hidden because of diet, not how many crunches I can do. I try to eat a balanced diet and stay away from overeating, but I definitely have a weakness for chocolate and ice cream. I inhale the stuff.”
Gray says being a successful bartender is more about personality, being genuine and making good drinks than being a pretty face. He went through a few bumpy years with his family after coming out but says they came around after a few years of missed holidays. Gray lives in Thomas Circle and loves working out at Vida, spending long hours with his boyfriend watching old movies, window shopping, coffee tasting and going to spots outside the gayborhood. He’s ready to start the next chapter of his professional life and says, “the sky is the limit.”
How long have you been out and who was the hardest person to tell?
I have been out for 17 years. The hardest person to tell was definitely my mother. I went away to college in ’93 and wrote her a letter apologizing for being gay and I understood if she and Dad didn’t want me around. I had multiple suicide attempts before writing that letter to the point where I had to come out for my sanity. I was rejected at first and welcomed eventually.
Who’s your gay hero?
I have a few gay heroes. Professionally, I admire anybody who steps out in business and makes it; most notably David von Storch of Vida Fitness and Thomas McGuire of WorkSpaces. I also admire everyone who has served in our military under “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell.” They have more strength and courage than anyone I know.
What’s Washington’s best nightspot, past or present?
Good question. I am just going to personalize this. I have the best time when I go to event-driven parties. I’ve been a bartender and have worked at most of the nightspots in this city. I loved working at Cobalt when I first arrived in D.C., I loved the family feel of working at Nellie’s, I loved the energy at Town. I loved the sense of accomplishment at EFN/Motley. In my opinion, there is no “best” nightspot. I do enjoy all of the spots but tend to make my choice based on what event is going on, which seems to be the trend in D.C.
Describe your dream gay wedding.
I think what most people don’t know about me is that I am a hopeless romantic. My dream wedding would take place in a locale that is conservative with friends and family. I think I will be the one proposing because I am the type to set up the romantic proposal setting.
What non-gay issue are you most passionate about?
The medical reform that our president pushed through Congress.
What historical outcome would you change?
The assassination of JFK.
What’s been the most memorable pop culture moment of your lifetime?
MTV!
On what do you insist?
Expressing an informed opinion before making assertions.
What was your last Facebook post or Tweet?
“Saying Goodbye for Now …”
If your life were a book, what would the title be?
“Gray’s EFN Anatomy”
If science discovered a way to change sexual orientation, what would you do?
I am very happy with the way God has created me. I would choose God over science in this instance.
What do you believe in beyond the physical world?
My heart/soul/spirit will be all I have for eternity. I have to live everyday with those three things in mind.
What’s your advice for LGBT movement leaders?
My advice is simple and seems to work for most: “You attract more flies with honey rather than vinegar.”
What would you walk across hot coals for?
My family.
What gay stereotype annoys you most?
I have embraced all facets of our community. Stereotypes certainly apply to some. I would say the inability to be monogamous.
What’s your favorite gay movie?
I used to volunteer with the Gay and Lesbian Film Festival in Philly so I have seen a bunch. I would have to say “Touch of Pink” is one of my favorites. I also liked “It’s My Party,” but it makes me cry too much.
What’s the most overrated social custom?
I remember being a child and my mother would scold me if I didn’t remove my hat when I entered a home. I think that is pretty overrated.
What trophy or prize do you most covet?
Two off the top of my head. I was voted Best Bartender in D.C. in 2008 by City Paper. That meant a lot to me as it wasn’t just the gay community. I was recently named the Community Partner of the Year by the Non-Profit Al Sura.
What do you wish you’d known at 18?
That everything I did at that age would impact my future as significantly as it has.
Why Washington?
I moved here for love. I always follow my heart above all else. My next career will hopefully keep me here as I have grown attached to the city.
The latest Honda Civic hatchback and Subaru Impreza are two of the segment’s stars. Both offer sensible pricing, excellent utility and enough personality to avoid feeling like appliances.
The Civic is more polished. The Impreza, more rugged. Luckily, neither is trying to be obnoxiously flashy.
HONDA CIVIC
$28,000
MPG: 30 city/38 highway
0 to 60 mph: 8.9 seconds
Cargo space: 24.5 cu. ft.
PROS: Fuel efficient. Spacious cargo area. Good resale value.
CONS: No all-wheel drive. Fussy infotainment. Low rear headroom.
WHAT’S NEW: Only minor updates for 2026. The biggest change carries over from last year’s refresh: the addition of the hybrid, which has become a star performer.
The Honda Civic hatchback won’t scream for attention. It won’t arrive wearing sequins and carrying a smoke machine. It’s more like Nomi Marks from “Sense8”: intelligent, sophisticated and impressively capable.
The styling remains handsome and clean. Long hood. Low roofline. Crisp lines everywhere.Honda resisted the urge to make this vehicle look like a spaceship or an angry robot. That’s refreshing.
Inside, the dashboard is simple and elegant. The honeycomb air-vent treatment remains one of the coolest interior details in the segment. Materials feel expensive. Controls are easy to understand. And visibility is excellent.
I love how the cargo space is generous, with rear seats that fold flat. A bicycle, several suitcases or enough supplies for an ambitious weekend road trip fit without much hassle.
Then there’s the hybrid. The system produces a healthy amount of power while delivering fuel economy that borders on the absurd. Around town, handling feels smooth, quiet and surprisingly quick. You almost glide through traffic. The standard gasoline engine isn’t bad, but the hybrid is stellar.
The Civic also shines on twisty roads. Steering is precise. Body motions stay controlled. The suspension strikes a sweet balance between comfort and sportiness.
Biggest weakness? No all-wheel drive. For drivers in snowy climates, that’s not so good.
Still, the Civic’s stellar combination of efficiency, quality, and driving enjoyment remains incredibly hard to beat.
SUBARU IMPREZA

$27,000
MPG: 27 city/33 highway
0 to 60 mph: 8.5 seconds
Cargo space: 20.4 cubic feet
PROS: All-wheel drive. User-friendly tech. Safety cred.
CONS: No hybrid version. Some road noise. Modest cargo room.
WHAT’S NEW: The Impreza receives relatively minor updates for 2026. Subaru continues refining this hatchback rather than reinventing it.
If the Honda Civic is urbane, the Subaru Impreza is unfussy. There’s a kind of Kristen Stewart energy here. Cool without trying too hard.
The styling isn’t dramatic, but it works. This hauler appears ready to tackle rain, snow, dirt roads or an impromptu weekend escape.
And all-wheel drive comes standard on every Impreza. (Most competitors only offer front-wheel drive or include all-wheel drive as a pricey option.)
The result: Slippery roads simply don’t create much anxiety. The suspension absorbs bumps nicely. Long trips are comfortable. Visibility is great, thanks to relatively thin roof pillars and large windows.
I like how the cabin is functional rather than fancy. Materials don’t quite match the Civic’s upscale vibe, but everything feels sturdy. A large infotainment screen dominates the dashboard and generally works well, though some drivers may prefer more physical buttons.
Cargo space is respectable, and the design makes loading bulky items easy.
Performance depends heavily on trim. The base engine gets the job done, but nobody will confuse it for a sports car. The RS trim’s larger engine provides more power and makes the ride livelier. But even then, acceleration remains merely adequate.
The Impreza’s real appeal lies elsewhere, with a mix that few rivals can match: hatchback practicality, standard all-wheel drive, strong safety scores and reasonable pricing.
Perhaps that’s the key difference between these two hatchbacks. The Honda Civic impresses immediately. The Subaru Impreza grows on you.
Fortunately, choosing between them is less stressful than deciding who gets the last mimosa at brunch.
Real Estate
When buying a home, it’s decisions, decisions, decisions
Keeping notes on the process makes for an informed purchase
When looking to buy a home, there are lots of details to consider. Many of my clients would come to me and say, “Joe I want to buy a place, but I haven’t decided which neighborhood to buy in.” And the struggle was real. A few clients had everything decided from the color of the hallway walls to the cabinet handles and sometimes which three square blocks they wanted to look at.
But other clients were occasionally looking at properties in areas as distinct as Union Market/NOMA, Brookland, Logan Circle, and then we would even go across the river to look at a property in Shirlington or the Van Dorn areas of Virginia, which all have their own unique flavor and characteristics.
Sometimes clients would tell me, “I only want to look in Mount Pleasant or Adams Morgan.” Or, “don’t even show me any properties west of this street or south of that street.” My job wasn’t to convince people where to live. It was to just take the parameters they set for me and find as good of a property in that zone as I could, coordinate the showings and, if necessary, offer the strategy.
One can see that buyers often had more decisions to make than a seller. From a seller’s perspective, the house was where it was, and we just had to make the best of it. But working with a buyer could mean looking at five different neighborhoods, and then being a “thought partner” to help them figure out which were the top two or three areas they had seen, and then further distilling those down into what was available and weighing those options against each other.
One house could have the dream bathroom but also be located six blocks further from a Metro stop, walkable shopping and dining, and “just too far away from my friends.” Another house could have all the neighborhood options a client was looking for, but was just not in turnkey condition, and would require an additional $30,000 of upgrades once purchased to make it into the dream home they envisioned.
One activity I often asked buyers to do was to keep an active list in their heads of the properties they liked, and to keep a running rank of the top three. I often encouraged them to bring a notebook along on the journey where they could take notes and write down questions they thought of as they looked. It was an important decision, and sometimes the largest purchase of their lives. Why not take it a little seriously, and take notes? This could often help the buyer later when they felt it was time to decide.
The point here is, keeping a notebook handy can sometimes help a person with what feels like an overwhelming process. It provides a space to explore how one feels, jot down important details to remember, and then use that to make an informed decision.
Joseph Hudson is a referral agent with RLAH. Reach him at 703-587-0597 or [email protected].
Real Estate
Under-the-radar Delaware beach towns smart buyers are targeting
There are other options if Rehoboth prices are scaring you off
Look, we love Rehoboth. We will always love Rehoboth. Queer folks have been flocking there since the 1940s, and with scores of LGBTQ-owned businesses and a Pride calendar packed tighter than the boardwalk in July, “Rehomo” earned its crown fair and square.
But let’s be honest with each other: trying to buy property there right now feels a lot like trying to get a reservation at the one good restaurant in town on a Saturday in August. Everyone wants in, inventory is tighter than your swim trunks after Labor Day brunch, and the prices have officially entered “are you kidding me” territory.
So here’s a thought: What if you didn’t fight the crowd? What if, instead, you let Rehoboth keep doing its glorious, chaotic, glitter-bomb thing and you quietly built your beach life 15 minutes away for considerably less drama and considerably more square footage? Here are four towns ready for their close-up.
Lewes: The Charming Overachiever
Lewes is what happens when a beach town actually has its life together. Historic charm, walkability, proximity to Cape Henlopen State Park, less crowding, and a strong year-round community. Unlike towns that turn into ghost towns after Labor Day, Lewes maintains a real community all year long, which is more than we can say for some situationships.
And right now, the market is practically begging you to make a move. It’s one of the most desirable and stable markets in the county — built for buyers thinking long-term, not flippers, and Sussex County overall has flipped into genuine buyer’s market territory for the first time in years. Translation: you finally get to be the one with leverage.
Bethany Beach: My Personal Pick
Full disclosure: I own in Bethany. So consider this section a little biased — and also the most honest thing I’ll tell you in this whole article.
When I drive down from D.C., I’m not looking for more of D.C. I love this city, but I also love leaving it — and yes, some of the people in it too (you know who you are, and so do I). Bethany gives me that full exhale. It’s quiet in the way that actually means something: fewer crowds, slower mornings, a soundtrack that’s mostly waves instead of nightlife. It leans hard into its “quiet resort” reputation, with low property taxes and a limited geographic footprint, and it is not the least bit sorry about it.
But quiet doesn’t mean isolated. I’ve got a genuinely excellent food scene nearby, real shopping, and a string of charming neighboring beach towns — and when I do want a taste of Rehoboth’s energy, it’s a short, easy drive away. I get to choose my dose of chaos instead of living inside it.
And here’s the part that matters most for this article: the price. If you’ve looked at Rehoboth listings and quietly closed the tab in despair, I need you to hear this — you can absolutely afford a beach house. It just doesn’t have to be in Rehoboth. Bethany’s average home value sits around $848,592, which is still real money, no question — but it buys you more house, more land, and more peace than the same budget gets you closer to the boardwalk. Bethany is welcoming too, just without Rehoboth’s decades of built-in queer institutional history — and for plenty of us, that trade-off is more than worth it.
Fenwick Island: Small Town, Big Flex
Fenwick rarely gets mentioned and, frankly, it should be insulted. It’s tiny, it’s quiet, and it has beach access without the carnival energy. The market data tends to lump it in with Bethany, where single-family oceanfront homes clear $1 million while entry-level condos start in the $600s — proof that “under-the-radar” doesn’t mean “bargain bin,” it means “fewer people fighting you for it.”
South Bethany: For the Boat Gays
Some of us want sand between our toes. Others want a private dock and a boat named something deeply unserious. South Bethany’s canal communities are built for the latter — water access on both sides, fewer crowds, and a lifestyle that says, “I have a captain’s hat and I am not afraid to wear it.”
The Math Works in Your Favor Now
Here’s the part that should really get your attention: Sussex County’s median sold price has dropped to $440,000, down 3.3% year-over-year, and buyers are routinely closing around 88 cents on the dollar compared to asking price. That’s a far cry from the unhinged bidding wars of 2021 and 2022, when overpaying was basically a competitive sport. Inventory across the county sits at nearly 2,500 active listings — the most of any county in Delaware, meaning you actually get to be picky for once. Revolutionary, we know.
And no, choosing one of these towns doesn’t mean leaving your people behind. Sussex Pride serves the entire county, not just Rehoboth proper, and CAMP Rehoboth’s resources extend well beyond town limits too. You’re not exiling yourself to the suburbs of queerness — you’re just getting a bigger kitchen, a quieter porch, and a much shorter line for the bathroom.
Add in the fact that Delaware has no estate tax and some of the lowest property taxes around, savings that genuinely add up over a retirement horizon, and the case writes itself. Rehoboth will always be the beating, sequined heart of queer beach culture in Delaware. But if you’ve been telling yourself a beach house isn’t in the cards — I’m here to tell you it absolutely is. It just might be 15 minutes south, with your own quiet porch, your own salt air, and considerably more room to breathe.
Have a real estate question or Rehoboth market tip? Reach out to [email protected] for LGBTQ-friendly real estate resources in the Rehoboth area.
Justin Noble is a Realtor licensed in D.C., Maryland, and Delaware with Monument Sotheby’s International Realty. Reach him at [email protected] or 302-897-7499.
