Living
Gay wedding etiquette 101
Same-sex nuptials bring questions from all sides
Steven Petrow says gay and lesbian couples tend to be surprisingly heteronormative in their wedding choices, perhaps, he guesses, because they were shut out for so long. (Photo courtesy the Hilton)
In the “Key & Peele” comedy sketch “Gay Wedding Advice,” a family gathers to learn the proper etiquette behind attending a gay wedding for their cousin. The family’s pressing questions include, “When do we sing ‘Over the Rainbow?,’” “Where do you get the Euros to buy gay gifts?” and whether to throw skittles instead of rice.
The skit is based on etiquette guru Steven Petrow’s gay wedding advice and he says although the content is for laughs, it’s not far off from the questions straight people ask him about same-sex ceremonies.
“There’s often this free-flowing anxiety, even amongst those who are supportive of same-sex marriage. Things that I’ve heard are people wondering whether if it will be like a gay Pride parade or festival, wild and crazy,” Petrow says. “I tell them, ‘No, I’ve actually never seen a ceremony like that.’ Although once and awhile I do hear about performers in drag as part of the reception. But like any other marriage, it’s a sacred ceremony.”
Petrow, known as “Mr. Manners,” is no stranger to laying down the etiquette law. He’s the author of “The Essential Book of Gay Manners & Etiquette,” “The New Gay Wedding: A Practical Primer for Brides and Grooms, Their Families and Guests” and “Steven Petrow’s Complete Gay & Lesbian Manners: The Definitive Guide to LGBT Life,” among others. He also writes “Civilities,” a Washington Post column about LGBT and straight etiquette and is the Hilton’s Modern Manners Expert.
His etiquette career came about when a mutual friend set him up on a blind date with the late writer and former HarperCollins editor David Rakoff. The pair had both battled cancer and had an interest in collecting old etiquette books and vintage cooking books respectively. The first date went “terrible,” Petrow says but Rakoff ended up sending Petrow a book contract for his first book.
Now Petrow, who married his husband Jim Bean in 2013, gives gay etiquette advice in his books and column. He’s often asked if there is really a difference in etiquette for same-sex couples and straight couples.
“The rules are the same. But we had been basically shut out of every mainstream wedding planning book and etiquette book for decades until my book came around,” Petrow says. “Couples often had been together for many years if not decades. When marriage became legal in their state they kind of jumped at the chance and got married.”
Because it started happening relatively quickly, there were no rituals or tradition established, he says.
“Now there’s a whole new generation approaching their weddings. They’re much more along the traditional. They’re heteronormative. They’re following the example of getting engaged, having long engagement periods, bachelor and bachelorette parties, rehearsal dinners and showers and all of that.”
Same-sex marriage legalization has even shifted the proposal process. Even with decades of feminism and more gender equality, with opposite-sex couples, men still do most of the proposing, Petrow says. There’s no such precedent for same-sex couples.
“For earlier couples, those who got engaged before last year, I think it was kind of a mutual decision. ‘We’ve been together for 10 years and we’re doing the dishes and now same-sex marriage is legal so while doing the dishes, ‘Well honey, do you want to get married?’ ‘Sure, let’s do it.’ It wasn’t really romantic necessarily. These days there is much more traditional asking.”
The etiquette guru says although a ring is often involved, it isn’t always the case. Gay men frequently like to exchange watches for what Petrow calls “the timeless element a watch represents.” Those who do exchange rings opt to take the rings off before the ceremony or switch the ring from the right hand to the left hand to signify the marriage.
Gender-neutral wedding registries are something same-sex couples now can take advantage of much easier than before. Petrow says in the past a same-sex couple would have to choose who to be the bride and groom for certain items. Now, many vendors have listed items with gender-neutral language such as “Spouse One” and “Spouse Two.” Places like Macy’s and Target offer LGBT wedding registry for couples. The Hilton also recently launched a new LGBT wedding registry to recognize same-sex couples.
When it comes to the actual wedding, Petrow has some advice for guests eager to capture the moment.
“I think all too many guests are bringing their cell phones and tablets to ceremonies and disrupting things, taking pictures, tweeting or being on Instagram before the brides and the grooms have posted anything of their own. I’ve seen people step into the aisle and block a bride that way. My advice to those folks is to ask before you take pictures. Remember you are not the center of attention at the ceremony, that’s the brides and the grooms,” Petrow says.
However, technology can put a fun spin on a ceremony. Petrow says putting a GoPro in the wedding bouquet to see the ceremony from a new angle can be intriguing. Drone photography is also a popular choice to catch an aerial shot of the reception, but Petrow urges couples to disclose using it to guests for the sake of guests’ privacy.
During the reception, the cake can be the most exciting part for foodies and lovers of cake decorations. Petrow says he still sees the traditional two grooms or two brides on top of a cake, but he has noticed the couple’s initials on top of the cake just as often. For a futuristic spin, 3D technology can be used to place photos of the couple on top of the cake.
Once married, the terms used to refer to spouses is varied and Petrow urges anyone unsure to simply ask the couple how they refer to one another.
“The default shifted very quickly last summer from partners to husbands and husbands and wives and wives. Those are the terms that have been prominently associated with married couples for generations and centuries. I have seen that there is great pleasure and a statement made when using language like that.”
He says when in doubt, it’s safe to default to “husbands” and “wives” as the case may be.
“For heterosexuals who don’t know its always fine to ask how they like to refer to each other. Not that anyone has to use that. Some couples still do prefer partner. Some older generational folks are much more used to that kind of language and are not comfortable saying husband or wife,” Petrow says.
While there are some nuances, Petrow thinks the most important part of planning a wedding is staying true to yourself.
“This is a time when weddings are all about me/me or the plural you. They’re customized and same-sex couples seem to have really led the way in making sure their ceremonies reflect who they are. Do something that reflects you and your values.”
Real Estate
Convert rent check into an automatic investment, Marjorie!
Basic math shows benefits of owning vs. renting
Suppose people go out for dinner and everyone is talking about how they are investing their money. Some are having fun with a few new apps they downloaded – where one can round up purchases and then bundle that money into a weekly or monthly investment that grows over time, which is a smart thing to do. The more automatic one can make the investments, the less is required to “think about it” and the more it just happens. It becomes a habit and a habit becomes a reward over time.
Another habit one can get into is just making that rent check an investment. One must live somewhere, correct? And in many larger U.S. cities like New York, Chicago, D.C., Los Angeles, Miami, Charlotte, Atlanta, Dallas, Nashville, Austin, or even most mid-market cities, rents can creep up towards $2,000 a month (or more) with ease.
Well, do the math. At $2,000 per month over one year, that’s $24,000. If someone stays in that apartment (with no rent increases) for even three years, that amount triples to $72,000. According to Rentcafe.com, the average rent in the United States at the end of 2025 was around $1,700 a month. Even that amount of rent can total between $60,000 and $80,000 over 3-4 years.
What if that money was going into an investment each month? Now, yes, the argument is that most mortgage payments, in the early years, are more toward the interest than the principal. However, at least a portion of each payment is going toward the principal.
What about closing costs and then selling costs? If a home is owned for three years, and then one pays out of pocket to close on that home (usually around 2-3% of the sales price), does owning it for even three years make it worth it? It could be argued that owning that home for only three years is not enough time to recoup the costs of mostly paying the interest plus paying the closing costs.
Let’s look at some math:
A $300,000 condo – at 3% is $9,000 for closing costs.
One can also put as little as 3 or 3.5% down on a home – so that is also around $9,000.
If a buyer uses D.C. Opens Doors or a similar program – a down payment can be provided and paid back later when the property is sold so that takes care of some of the upfront costs. Knowledgeable lenders can often discuss other useful down payment assistance programs to help a buyer “find the money.”
Another useful tactic many agents use is to ask for a credit from the seller. If a property has sat on the market for weeks, the seller may be willing to give a closing cost credit. That amount can vary. New construction sellers may also offer these closing cost credits as well.
And that, Marjorie, just so you will know, and your children will someday know, is THE NIGHT THE RENT CHECK WENT INTO AN INVESTMENT ACCOUNT ON GEORGIA AVENUE!
Joseph Hudson is a referral agent with Metro Referrals. Reach him at 703-587-0597 or [email protected].
Some vehicles age quietly — but not muscle cars.
For 2026, the Chevrolet Corvette tightens its focus, fixes one glaring flaw (the previously dowdy interior) and flaunts a futuristic design. The Dodge Charger, on the other hand, is loud and proud, daring you to ignore its presence at your peril.
CHEVROLET CORVETTE
$73,000-$92,000
MPG: 16 city/25 highway
0 to 60 mph: 2.8 seconds
Cargo space: 13 cu. ft.
PROS: Awesome acceleration. Race-car feel. Snazzy cabin.
CONS: No manual transmission. No rear seat. Tight storage.
Finally, the Chevrolet Corvette feels as good inside as it looks flying past you on the freeway. That’s thanks to the classy, completely redesigned cabin. Gone is the old, polarizing wall of buttons in favor of a sleeker, three-screen cockpit. There’s a large digital gauge cluster, a wide infotainment screen angled toward the driver, and a marvy new auxiliary display. Everything is modern and a bit glitzy — but in a good way.
Fit and finish are higher quality than before, and the controls are more intuitive. Chevy’s Performance App is now standard across trims, offering real-time data for drivers who enjoy metrics as much as momentum. And the new interior color schemes, including slick asymmetrical options, let you express yourself without screaming for attention—confidence, not obnoxious bluster.
As for handling, the steering is quick and sure, body control is exceptional, and acceleration is blazingly fast. A mid-engine layout also delivers sublime balance.
Three trim options, including the V8-powered Stingray, the E-Ray (also with a V8 but paired with electric all-wheel drive), and the Z06 and ZR1 variants for racing devotees.
(Note to self: For a truly mind-blowing experience, there’s the new 1,250-horsepower ZR1X all-electric supercar that goes from 0 to 60 mph in less that 2 seconds and is priced starting at $208,000.)
Yes, the ride in any of these Corvettes can be firm. And visibility is, well, rather compromised. But this supercar is a total Dom, not a timid sub. Think Alexander Skarsgard in “Pillion,” and you get the picture.
DODGE CHARGER
$52,000-$65,000
MPG: 16 city/26 highway
0 to 60 mph: 3.9 seconds
Cargo capacity: 22.75 cu. ft.
PROS: Choice of gas or EV power. Modern tech. Spacious cabin.
CONS: No V8 engine (yet). Soft steering. Less-than-lithe cornering.
Everything old is new again for the Dodge Charger. The automaker initially was phasing out gas-powered models in a shift to electric vehicles but then quickly pivoted back to include gas engines after yo-yo regulatory changes this year from, well, the yo-yos in the White House.
Powerful twin-turbo engines in the R/T and Scat Pack trims produce up to 550 horsepower. These models come standard with all-wheel drive but can be switched to rear-wheel drive for classic muscle-car antics when the mood strikes you.
At the same time, Dodge still offers the electric Charger Daytona, delivering up to 670 horsepower and ferocious straight-line acceleration.
The Charger’s aggressive design, massive digital displays and practical hatchback layout carry over, reinforcing its ability to be both a performance diva and everyday companion. With the larger-than-expected storage space, I appreciated being able to fit a boatload of groceries in the trunk during a Costco run.
New wheel designs, paint choices and trim variations help you visually distinguish between gas and electric Chargers. But no matter the model, each one feels decisive and deliberate on the road. Commuting in stop-and-go traffic during rush hour is fine, but this street machine excels at high-speed cruising on the freeway.
The turbo six-cylinder engine delivers muscular torque with less drama than the old V8s, but still with plenty of urgency. The electric Daytona version is a different kind of thrill, with its instant, silent thrust that feels like it could almost launch you to the moon.
Steering is stable but not exactly crisp, and the Charger’s weight makes it less lithe—and lively—than other muscle cars, especially when navigating tight corners.
But that’s just fine with me. Like Bea Arthur as Dorothy in “The Golden Girls,” this no-nonsense muscle car is proud to be big, bold and brassy.
Real Estate
Top buyer-friendly markets for the LGBTQ community
Home should be a place where you can be fully yourself
Buying or selling a home is one of the most meaningful financial and emotional decisions a person can make. For LGBTQ+ individuals and families, that journey can also come with unique considerations — from finding truly inclusive neighborhoods to working with professionals who understand and respect who you are.
The good news? Across the United States, there are increasingly buyer-friendly housing markets where LGBTQ+ home buyers and sellers can find opportunity, affordability, and community. When paired with the right representation, these markets can offer not only strong financial value, but peace of mind.
For more than 30 years, GayRealEstate.com has been the leading source of LGBTQ+ real estate representation, helping LGBTQ+ buyers and sellers connect with vetted, LGBTQ+ friendly real estate agents who understand the nuances of fair housing, legal protections, and inclusive service.
Below, we explore top buyer-friendly markets for the LGBTQ+ community, along with practical tips to help you navigate the process with confidence.
What Makes a Market Buyer-Friendly?
A buyer-friendly market isn’t just about lower prices — especially for LGBTQ+ home buyers. It often includes:
- Increased housing inventory (more choices, less pressure)
- Slower price growth or stabilized pricing
- Greater negotiating power for buyers
- Established or emerging LGBTQ+ communities
- Local protections and inclusive policies
- Access to LGBTQ+ friendly real estate agents and resources
Markets that combine affordability with inclusivity can be especially attractive for first-time gay home buyers, same-sex couples, and LGBTQ+ families planning for long-term stability.
Top Buyer-Friendly Markets for LGBTQ Home Buyers
1. Austin & San Antonio, Texas
Once known for extreme competition, many Texas metros have shifted into more buyer-friendly territory due to increased inventory.
Why it works for LGBTQ+ buyers:
- Strong LGBTQ+ communities, especially in Austin
- More negotiating leverage than in prior years
- Diverse neighborhoods at varying price points
Tip: Texas does not have statewide LGBTQ+ housing protections, making it especially important to work with an experienced LGBTQ+ friendly realtor through GayRealEstate.com.
2. Columbus & Cincinnati, Ohio
Ohio cities continue to attract buyers looking for value without sacrificing culture or inclusivity.
Why it works:
- Lower median home prices
- Growing LGBTQ+ populations
- Strong healthcare, education, and job markets
These cities are particularly appealing for LGBTQ+ buyers relocating from higher-cost coastal markets.
3. Richmond, Virginia
Richmond has become a standout for LGBTQ+ home ownership thanks to affordability, history, and progressive growth.
Highlights:
- Inclusive local culture
- Buyer-friendly price trends
- Walkable neighborhoods popular with LGBTQ+ professionals
4. Minneapolis–St. Paul, Minnesota
The Twin Cities consistently rank high for LGBTQ+ quality of life and legal protections.
Why LGBTQ+ buyers love it:
- Strong anti-discrimination laws
- Stable home values
- Excellent resources for LGBTQ+ families
Minnesota offers one of the safest environments for LGBTQ+ home buyers and sellers navigating the real estate process.
5. Jacksonville & Tampa Bay, Florida
Florida remains complex for LGBTQ+ buyers, but some metros still offer strong buyer opportunity.
What to know:
- Increased inventory = more negotiating power
- Coastal lifestyle at lower cost than South Florida
- Local LGBTQ+ communities continue to grow
Because statewide protections vary, partnering with a GayRealEstate.com LGBTQ+ friendly real estate agent is essential.
Finding LGBTQ-Friendly Neighborhoods
Not every “affordable” neighborhood is inclusive — and safety, comfort, and belonging matter.
When searching for LGBTQ+ friendly neighborhoods:
- Look for visible LGBTQ+ organizations, events, and businesses
- Research local non-discrimination ordinances
- Ask your agent about lived experiences, not just statistics
- Talk to neighbors and local LGBTQ+ groups
Agents in the Gay Real Estate Network often provide insight that listing data alone cannot.
The Importance of LGBTQ Real Estate Representation
While fair housing laws exist, LGBTQ+ housing discrimination still happens — sometimes subtly, sometimes overtly.
Working with an LGBTQ+ friendly real estate agent helps ensure:
- Respectful communication
- Advocacy during negotiations
- Awareness of legal protections
- A safer, more affirming experience
GayRealEstate.com has spent over three decades building the most trusted network of gay realtors, lesbian real estate agents, and LGBTQ+ friendly real estate professionals nationwide.
Legal Protections Every LGBTQ Buyer and Seller Should Know
Federal protections now include sexual orientation and gender identity under the Fair Housing Act, but enforcement and local laws vary.
Before buying or selling:
- Understand your state and local protections
- Know how to document discriminatory behavior
- Work with professionals who take advocacy seriously
- Use trusted LGBTQ+ real estate resources
GayRealEstate.com agents are experienced in helping clients navigate these realities with confidence.
Tips for LGBTQ Home Buyers & Sellers
- Get pre-approved early to strengthen your buying position
- Interview agents and ask direct questions about LGBTQ+ experience
- Don’t ignore your instincts — comfort matters
- Plan long-term: community, schools, healthcare, and protections
- Use LGBTQ+-specific resources rather than generic searches
Buyer-friendly markets create opportunity — but representation creates security.
Whether you’re a first-time gay home buyer, a same-sex couple relocating, or an LGBTQ+ seller preparing for your next chapter, choosing the right market and the right representation makes all the difference.
For over 30 years, GayRealEstate.com has been the trusted leader in LGBTQ+ real estate, connecting buyers and sellers with professionals who understand the importance of inclusion, advocacy, and respect.
Your home should be more than a place to live — it should be a place where you can be fully yourself.
Scott Helms is president and owner of Gayrealestate.com.
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Convert rent check into an automatic investment, Marjorie!
