National
Married gay couples reap benefits from DOMA ruling
But some encounter confusion, delays from employers

Mary Glantz and Michelle Schohn of Arlington, Va., at their Provincetown, Mass., wedding in November 2009. (Photo courtesy of Michelle Schohn)
The majority of legally married gay couples with whom the Washington Blade has spoken in recent days said they have had little difficulty receiving benefits for their spouses after the U.S. Supreme Court found a portion of the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) unconstitutional.
Michelle Schohn of Arlington, Va., a State Department employee who married her partner of 14 years, Mary Glantz, in Provincetown, Mass., in 2009, told the Blade on Tuesday from Estonia that the agency’s HR personnel recognized the couple as married “within hours” after she faxed them a copy of their marriage license. The couple was also able to update their federal life insurance policy.
Schohn said the USAA also pre-approved her and Glantz for a mortgage to potentially buy a home in Maryland as a married couple.
“It’s been amazingly straight-forward and very easy,” Schohn, who was the president of the Gays and Lesbians in Foreign Affairs Agencies from 2008-2009, said. “The several people that I’ve worked with so far have been very friendly and accommodating. I haven’t had any kind of pushback from anyone.”
The Office of Personnel Management on June 28 issued a memorandum that outlined the benefits for which legally married gay and lesbian federal employees and their children or stepchildren are now eligible. These include health, dental, vision, life and long-term insurance, retirement benefits and the ability to submit claims for medical expenses through flexible spending accounts.
Alex Hardin, who works in the State Department’s Bureau of European Affairs, told the Blade during GLIFAA’s monthly happy hour at the Capitol Skyline Hotel in Southwest D.C. on Tuesday that he and his partner, who is from Japan, are planning to get married in the nation’s capital later this summer.
The DOMA decision opened the door for legally married gays and lesbians to sponsor their foreign-born partners for immigration purposes.
Secretary of Homeland Security Janet Napolitano on July 1 said her agency will treat marriage-based green card applications from same-sex bi-national couples the same as those submitted by heterosexuals.
Hardin’s partner already has a green card, but he told the Blade the Supreme Court’s DOMA ruling eliminates any uncertainty over the status of their relationship once they tie the knot.
“Now we can feel more comfortable knowing that we’re going to be married, we’re going to have the rights and privileges of everybody else,” Hardin said.
Eleven states and D.C. currently allow same-sex marriage. Gays and lesbians will be able to legally tie the knot in Minnesota and Rhode Island on Aug. 1.
The American Civil Liberties Union on Tuesday filed a lawsuit that challenges Pennsylvania’s statuary ban on nuptials for gays and lesbians. The group also plans to contest constitutional amendments in Virginia and North Carolina that define marriage as between a man and a woman.
The ACLU and the National Center for Lesbian Rights in March petitioned the New Mexico Supreme Court to rule on whether same-sex couples can legally marry in the state. Same-sex marriage lawsuits have also been filed in Michigan and Nevada, while motions have been filed in Illinois and New Jersey that seek expedited rulings in cases that seek nuptials for gays and lesbians in the two states.
The Human Rights Campaign, Freedom to Marry and other groups have also launched campaigns to challenge same-sex marriage bans in Arkansas, Florida, Oregon and other states.
Missy Novak of South Deerfield, Mass., contacted the company for which she and her wife both work after the Supreme Court issued its DOMA decision to see whether they and their daughter are now eligible for a family health insurance plan.
The company issued a memo that said “guidance is anticipated” from the Internal Revenue Service and the Department of Labor on “how the ruling affects the laws they enforce.”
Novak said the company told her on Tuesday that it is still waiting to hear from the two agencies.
“We’re kind of eager to hear back from our employer on when are you guys going to be changing this,” she told the Blade.
OPM has said in a series of memos it released after the DOMA ruling that federal gay employees who have entered into civil unions will remain ineligible for most of the benefits that legally married same-sex couples are now able to receive.
GLIFAA President Ken Kero-Mentz said retirement plans are among the issues that still need to be sorted out.
He described the impact of the DOMA decision — specifically the impact it has had on immigration and insurance benefits for gays and lesbians who were unable to obtain federal health insurance benefits while living overseas with their same-sex spouses — as “enormous.”
“DOMA had a particularly hateful effect, especially for us in the foreign service community,” Kero-Mentz said. “We’re able to celebrate that much more within our smaller community because these two massive barriers have now been lifted.”
National
BREAKING NEWS: Shots fired at the White House Correspondents’ Dinner
Shooter reportedly opened fire inside hotel
Four loud bangs were heard in the International Ballroom of the Washington Hilton during the annual White House Correspondents’ Dinner on Saturday.
According to the Associated Press, a shooter opened fire inside the hotel outside the ballroom.
Attendees could hear four loud bangs as people started to duck and take cover. During the chaos sounds of salad and glasses were dropped as hotel employees, and guests ducked for cover.
The head table — which included President Donald Trump, Vice President JD Vance, first lady Melania Trump, and White House Correspondents Association President Weijia Jiang — were rushed off stage.
“The U.S. Secret Service, in coordination with the Metropolitan Police Department, is investigating a shooting incident near the main magnetometer screening area at the White House Correspondents’ Dinner,” the U.S. Secret Service said in a statement. “The president and the First Lady are safe along all protects. One individual is in custody. The condition of those involved is not yet known, and law enforcement is actively assessing the situation.”
Trump held a press conference at the White House after he left the hotel.
“A man charged a security checkpoint armed with multiple weapons and he was taken down by some very brave members of Secret Service,” said Trump.
Trump said the shooter is from California. He also said an officer was shot, but said his bullet proof vest “saved” him.
The Washington Blade will update this story as details become more available.
State Department
State Department implements anti-trans bathroom policy
Memo notes directive corresponds with White House executive order
The State Department on April 20 announced employees cannot use bathrooms that correspond with their gender identity.
The Daily Signal, a conservative news website, reported the State Department announced the new policy in a memo titled “Updates Regarding Biological Sex and Intimate Spaces, Including Restrooms.”
The State Department has not responded to the Washington Blade’s request for comment on the directive.
“The administration affirms that there are two sexes — male and female — and that federal facilities should operate on this objective and longstanding basis to ensure consistency, privacy, and safety in shared spaces,” State Department spokesperson Tommy Piggot told the Daily Signal. “In line with President Trump’s executive order this provides clear, uniform guidance to the department by grounding policy in biological sex as determined at birth.”
President Donald Trump shortly after he took office in January 2025 issued an executive order that directed the federal government to only recognize two genders: male and female. The sweeping directive also ordered federal government agencies to “effectuate this policy by taking appropriate action to ensure that intimate spaces designated for women, girls, or females (or for men, boys, or males) are designated by sex and not identity.”
The Daily Signal notes the new State Department policy “does not prohibit single-occupancy restrooms.”
National
I’m telling the scared little girl I once was it’s okay to feel free
This week is Lesbian Visibility Week
Uncloseted Media published this article on April 23.
By SOPHIE HOLLAND | At 13 years old, I remember looking in the mirror in my Toronto bathroom and thinking, “Yeah, I’m a lesbian.” At the time, I thought it was a dirty word. Thinking back, it could be because the first time I heard it was when a family member said, “I don’t know what a lesbian is, they are like aliens.”
And although I walked around in camouflage Crocs with a rainbow My Little Pony charm, plaid knee-length shorts and a shark tooth necklace (yes, these are all, in my opinion, stereotypically lesbian apparel!), I didn’t feel like I fit the mold. The longer I thought about it, the worse I felt, so I buried my feelings deep inside.
Now I am 25, and I have been out since I was 22. Three years ago, I never could have imagined that I’d be working for a queer news publication and celebrating Lesbian Visibility Week, an annual event meant to honor and uplift lesbian perspectives and highlight the hardships our community faces. To me, LVW is so important because, frankly, it has been an absolute shit show getting here, to a place where I feel love and joy most days.
I think back to the frustration of constantly being asked, “Do you have a boyfriend?” Of watching princess movies and seeing a broken girl only find herself when her prince charming arrives. I remember listening to music that was always about heterosexual relationships. I remember feeling left out in high school when, one by one, my friends got boyfriends.
I tried the boyfriend, and I tried really hard for it to work at a large detriment to my wellbeing. I brainwashed myself into thinking I was probably bisexual, which I told my closest friends around 16 and unsuccessfully told my parents at the same age. I was probably subconsciously using this as a litmus test of their acceptance and to soothe the anxiety I felt around my sexuality.
Learning to love who I am did not only come from me unraveling my internalized lesbophobia and dissecting the oppressive societal messages of heteronormativity. It came from meeting an awesome community of lesbians and queers. I found people who understood my worldview and who showed me the ropes. I no longer had to stutter over concepts like lesbian loneliness or my frustration with misogynistic straight men.
They all just got it.
Without this community, I am not sure if I could be as warm and confident in myself as I am today.
And while I still experience homophobia, like being spat on while walking with an ex in downtown Toronto or having a stranger yell in my face “Are you fucking lesbians?” in Kensington Market, the joy and love still outweighs the nasty.
So, as the sentimental dyke that I have become, I decided to ask a set of lesbians in my orbit — including my friends as well as Uncloseted staffers, board members and followers — if they would share a little bit about what makes them love being a lesbian. And now, I can share it with all of you. Here they are. Happy LVW!
Timi Sotire
Falling in love with her was a reset. I felt like a kid again, hopeful about the future. We’ve had to overcome many obstacles to be together, but I’d choose her in every lifetime. I was sick with a long-term health condition when we met, and hanging out with Sophia really helped me with my recovery after my surgery.
Bella Sayegh
Being a lesbian is one of the most beautiful things in the world. To be authentically yourself in resistance and joy is so special within the lesbian community.
Parker Wales
When I met Liv, I finally understood why almost every song is about love.
Gillian Kilgour
There is no connection quite as perfect as between lesbians, no one sees me like my lesbians do.
Chyna Price
There’s many things I love about being a lesbian. But here are my top three:
- There’s just a deeper understanding when it comes to being loved by another woman.
- The next one would be the sense of community, especially being a POC masculine-presenting lesbian. I don’t feel like I’m cosplaying as someone else like I felt like I was doing before I came out.
- There’s so much history going back to the 1800s on how we found and fought for our love. That fight makes me proud because it shows me … that we’ve [found] ways to express our love even when it was misunderstood, illegal and deemed as madness.
Hope Pisoni
Before I knew I was a lesbian, romantic relationships seemed suffocating — it felt like everyone would expect me to act my part in the meticulous performance that is heterosexuality. But meeting my spouse and discovering our identities together showed me just how freeing it could be to love without a script to follow.
Leital Molad
It was the joy of watching the New York Sirens defeat the Toronto Sceptres at our first professional women’s hockey game — surrounded by hundreds (maybe thousands?) of cheering lesbians.
Angela Earl
I spent years building a life that looked right. But I never felt settled, and eventually I started asking what would actually make me happy. Coming out was about more than who I love, it was letting go of everything I was told to be. The last few years have felt like coming home to a life that had been waiting for me.
Tali Bray
What I love about being a lesbian is what I love about being in love … the wonder and joy of “oh, this is what it’s supposed to feel like.” I love moving through the world with women.
Izzy Stokes
I didn’t fall in love until I realized that queerness was an option. My queer friends have helped me see so much more than I grew up seeing. I’m so proud of us, and I’m so grateful for my lesbian community.
Nandika Chatterjee
When I met my fiancée is when I started to feel most like myself. That meant loving myself for who I am and embracing my identity as a lesbian. I felt free in a way I have never before. That’s the long and short of it.
Liz Lucking
The love and joy of being a lesbian is getting to live the life I dreamed of but never thought I would get to have!
Reflections
As I read these beautiful entries, it’s not lost on me that we’re still living in a world where lesbians are more likely to struggle with maternity problems, fetishization, and compulsory heterosexuality — not to mention the intersectional pressures of racism from both inside and outside the queer community. That’s part of why, according to a 2024 survey, 22 percent of LGBTQ women have attempted suicide, and 66 percent have sought treatment for trauma.
So if you are a lesbian who isn’t out or doesn’t feel safe, I hope you read this and can glean some hope from these messages. So when you look in the mirror, you know that it’s okay to release the weight — which can feel so heavy — of a heteronormative world.
We still have a long fight until all lesbians can feel safe to be themselves, but this is a community that does not back away from the tough, from the joy, from being loud and from all the other things that it takes to start a small revolution.
Hell yeah, lesbians! Here’s to you.
*I am signing off with my cat on my lap and a pride flag over my head <3.


