National
Is the NFL ready for an openly gay player?
Reaction mixed to Michael Sam’s coming out announcement
Missouri defense lineman Michael Sam has come out as gay and could be the NFL’s first out player. (Photo by Marcus Qwertyus; courtesy Wikimedia Commons)
University of Missouri defensive lineman Michael Sam is poised to become the country’s first openly gay professional football player after he came out on Feb. 9.
Sam, 24, discussed his sexual orientation in a series of interviews with the New York Times and ESPN. The defensive linebacker is a potential mid-round pick in the National Football League draft that will take place in May.
“I just want to make sure I could tell my story the way I want to tell it,” Sam told the New York Times. “I just want to own my truth.”
The New York Times reported Sam, who grew up in Hitchcock, Texas, came out to his teammates at the University of Missouri last August during a team-building exercise. He was named the Southeastern Conference Defensive Player of the Year after his team ended the season with a 12-2 record that included a win in the Cotton Bowl. Sam is also an All-American.
Outsports.com exclusively reported that Howard Bragman, a gay Hollywood publicist, helped coordinate Sam’s coming out that included the New York Times and ESPN interviews. The LGBT sports website noted the defensive lineman’s agents – Joe Barkett and Cameron Weiss – said they concluded it would “be less of a distraction” for Sam to come out this month as opposed to “after the draft, during summer training camp or during the season.”
Sam attended a dinner at Bragman’s Los Angeles home on Feb. 8 – one day before he spoke with the aforementioned media outlets. Gay former NFL players Dave Kopay and Wade Davis, gay former professional baseball player Billy Bean, former Baltimore Ravens linebacker Brendon Ayanbadejo, former Minnesota Vikings punter Chris Kluwe and Outsports.com co-founders Jim Buzinski and Cyd Zeigler, Jr., also attended.
Outsports.com said Buzinski “grilled him” during a practice interview earlier in the day.
Bragman, Barkett and Weiss critiqued his answers.
“When the topic was football he knew what to say, sharing playing experiences and his love of defense,” reported Outsports.com, noting Sam also shared details of his troubled childhood that included abuse he said he suffered at the hands of his brothers and losing three siblings. “When questions turned to gay issues in that mock interview, Sam worked through the answers.”
The NFL applauded Sam in a statement it released shortly after the New York Times and ESPN published their interviews.
“We admire Michael Sam’s honesty and courage,” said the league. “We look forward to welcoming and supporting Michael Sam in 2014.”
Missouri coach Gary Pinkel and other university officials also praised Sam – students honored the defensive lineman by writing his name in the snow in the school’s football stadium on Feb. 9. Denver Broncos Vice President John Elway and Hall of Famer Deion Sanders are among the former and current NFL players who also applauded Sam.
“Good for him,” said Baltimore Ravens wide receiver Torrey Smith on Twitter.
President Obama and U.S. Sen. Claire McCaskill (D-Mo.) are among those who also applauded Sam.
“Michael Sam has made a historic and courageous decision to live his authentic truth for the world to see,” said National Black Justice Coalition CEO Sharon Lettman-Hicks in a press release that announced an online campaign with Athlete Ally designed to rally additional support for the defensive lineman. “Sam continues the tradition of breaking down barriers for not only LGBT athletes who dream of playing professional sports, but all LGBT people, young and old, who seek to live openly, honestly and safely in their neighborhoods and communities.”
Team D.C. President Les Johnson echoed Lettman-Hicks.
“He’s done a very brave thing,” Johnson told the Washington Blade on Tuesday.
Sam came out nearly a year after former Washington Wizards center Jason Collins became the first male athlete who actively played in a major American professional sports league to come out as gay. Robbie Rogers, a professional soccer player who plays for the Los Angeles Galaxy, disclosed his sexual orientation last February before returning to the sport after a brief retirement.
“Congratulations on leading the way,” wrote Collins on his Twitter account after Sam came out. “That’s real sportsmanship.”
Football ‘not ready’ for openly gay player
Reaction to Sam’s coming out has not been universally positive.
Kent University on Monday indefinitely suspended wrestler Sam Wheeler after he repeatedly used anti-gay slurs in a series of tweets that criticized Sam.
An anonymous NFL player personnel assistant told Sports Illustrated he feels “football is not ready for [an openly gay player] just yet” and an out teammate would “chemically imbalance an NFL locker room and meeting room.” An NFL assistant coach who also did not give his name told the magazine Sam’s announcement was “not a smart move.”
The NFL officials with whom Sports Illustrated spoke said the defensive lineman’s decision to come out would have an adverse impact on his ranking ahead of May’s draft. Sam’s CBS draft ranking on Feb. 10 was 70 spots lower than it was before the New York Times and ESPN published their interviews.
Sam’s father, Michael Sam, Sr., also reacted negatively to his son’s decision.
The older Sam told the New York Times his son told him in a text message while he was celebrating his birthday at a Denny’s outside of Dallas.
“I couldn’t eat no more, so I went to Applebee’s to have drinks,” said Sam’s father. “I don’t want my grandkids raised in that kind of environment.”
“I’m old school,” he added, noting he took one of his older sons to Mexico to lose his virginity. “I’m a man-and-a-woman type of guy.”
Concerns are ‘poppycock’
Zeigler told the Blade on Tuesday that he expected some to react negatively to Sam’s announcement. He nevertheless described them as “idiots” and categorized their concerns as “poppycock.”
“He was openly gay on the University of Missouri football team that went 12-2 and won the Cotton Bowl,” said Zeigler. “The only way [the NFL] is different from college is the men are older, more experienced. They know more people who are gay.”
The Ravens, the New York Giants, the New England Patriots, the Minnesota Vikings and the Cleveland Browns are among the NFL teams that have said they would draft Sam.
“If it’s a distraction to the team that’s not on Michael Sam or because he is gay,” Zeigler told the Blade. “It’s because of bad leadership on the team.”
The Human Rights Campaign on Monday tweeted a picture of Sam and a link to its blog. Stampp Corbin, the former co-chair of the National LGBT Leadership Council for Obama’s 2008 presidential election campaign who publishes a gay newspaper in San Diego, launched a petition on Change.org that urges the NFL to draft the defensive lineman.
“Michael is a football player, not an activist,” Bragman told Outsports.com. “If you start showing up at too many dinners and too many parades, you start to send the message to a potential team about his priorities. The community wins when he steps onto an NFL field and plays in a game, not as the grand marshal of a pride parade.”
Zeigler told the Blade that Bragman told HRC, GLAAD and other groups about Sam’s pending announcement. He said Bragman also told the aforementioned organizations the defensive linebacker “needs to focus on football.”
“Until next February I hope I don’t hear a single question from an LGBT advocacy organization to appear,” said Zeigler. “His advocacy is to be on the football field and break ground in that way.”
Chris Johnson contributed to this report.
State Department
State Department implements anti-trans bathroom policy
Memo notes directive corresponds with White House executive order
The State Department on April 20 announced employees cannot use bathrooms that correspond with their gender identity.
The Daily Signal, a conservative news website, reported the State Department announced the new policy in a memo titled “Updates Regarding Biological Sex and Intimate Spaces, Including Restrooms.”
The State Department has not responded to the Washington Blade’s request for comment on the directive.
“The administration affirms that there are two sexes — male and female — and that federal facilities should operate on this objective and longstanding basis to ensure consistency, privacy, and safety in shared spaces,” State Department spokesperson Tommy Piggot told the Daily Signal. “In line with President Trump’s executive order this provides clear, uniform guidance to the department by grounding policy in biological sex as determined at birth.”
President Donald Trump shortly after he took office in January 2025 issued an executive order that directed the federal government to only recognize two genders: male and female. The sweeping directive also ordered federal government agencies to “effectuate this policy by taking appropriate action to ensure that intimate spaces designated for women, girls, or females (or for men, boys, or males) are designated by sex and not identity.”
The Daily Signal notes the new State Department policy “does not prohibit single-occupancy restrooms.”
National
I’m telling the scared little girl I once was it’s okay to feel free
This week is Lesbian Visibility Week
Uncloseted Media published this article on April 23.
By SOPHIE HOLLAND | At 13 years old, I remember looking in the mirror in my Toronto bathroom and thinking, “Yeah, I’m a lesbian.” At the time, I thought it was a dirty word. Thinking back, it could be because the first time I heard it was when a family member said, “I don’t know what a lesbian is, they are like aliens.”
And although I walked around in camouflage Crocs with a rainbow My Little Pony charm, plaid knee-length shorts and a shark tooth necklace (yes, these are all, in my opinion, stereotypically lesbian apparel!), I didn’t feel like I fit the mold. The longer I thought about it, the worse I felt, so I buried my feelings deep inside.
Now I am 25, and I have been out since I was 22. Three years ago, I never could have imagined that I’d be working for a queer news publication and celebrating Lesbian Visibility Week, an annual event meant to honor and uplift lesbian perspectives and highlight the hardships our community faces. To me, LVW is so important because, frankly, it has been an absolute shit show getting here, to a place where I feel love and joy most days.
I think back to the frustration of constantly being asked, “Do you have a boyfriend?” Of watching princess movies and seeing a broken girl only find herself when her prince charming arrives. I remember listening to music that was always about heterosexual relationships. I remember feeling left out in high school when, one by one, my friends got boyfriends.
I tried the boyfriend, and I tried really hard for it to work at a large detriment to my wellbeing. I brainwashed myself into thinking I was probably bisexual, which I told my closest friends around 16 and unsuccessfully told my parents at the same age. I was probably subconsciously using this as a litmus test of their acceptance and to soothe the anxiety I felt around my sexuality.
Learning to love who I am did not only come from me unraveling my internalized lesbophobia and dissecting the oppressive societal messages of heteronormativity. It came from meeting an awesome community of lesbians and queers. I found people who understood my worldview and who showed me the ropes. I no longer had to stutter over concepts like lesbian loneliness or my frustration with misogynistic straight men.
They all just got it.
Without this community, I am not sure if I could be as warm and confident in myself as I am today.
And while I still experience homophobia, like being spat on while walking with an ex in downtown Toronto or having a stranger yell in my face “Are you fucking lesbians?” in Kensington Market, the joy and love still outweighs the nasty.
So, as the sentimental dyke that I have become, I decided to ask a set of lesbians in my orbit — including my friends as well as Uncloseted staffers, board members and followers — if they would share a little bit about what makes them love being a lesbian. And now, I can share it with all of you. Here they are. Happy LVW!
Timi Sotire
Falling in love with her was a reset. I felt like a kid again, hopeful about the future. We’ve had to overcome many obstacles to be together, but I’d choose her in every lifetime. I was sick with a long-term health condition when we met, and hanging out with Sophia really helped me with my recovery after my surgery.
Bella Sayegh
Being a lesbian is one of the most beautiful things in the world. To be authentically yourself in resistance and joy is so special within the lesbian community.
Parker Wales
When I met Liv, I finally understood why almost every song is about love.
Gillian Kilgour
There is no connection quite as perfect as between lesbians, no one sees me like my lesbians do.
Chyna Price
There’s many things I love about being a lesbian. But here are my top three:
- There’s just a deeper understanding when it comes to being loved by another woman.
- The next one would be the sense of community, especially being a POC masculine-presenting lesbian. I don’t feel like I’m cosplaying as someone else like I felt like I was doing before I came out.
- There’s so much history going back to the 1800s on how we found and fought for our love. That fight makes me proud because it shows me … that we’ve [found] ways to express our love even when it was misunderstood, illegal and deemed as madness.
Hope Pisoni
Before I knew I was a lesbian, romantic relationships seemed suffocating — it felt like everyone would expect me to act my part in the meticulous performance that is heterosexuality. But meeting my spouse and discovering our identities together showed me just how freeing it could be to love without a script to follow.
Leital Molad
It was the joy of watching the New York Sirens defeat the Toronto Sceptres at our first professional women’s hockey game — surrounded by hundreds (maybe thousands?) of cheering lesbians.
Angela Earl
I spent years building a life that looked right. But I never felt settled, and eventually I started asking what would actually make me happy. Coming out was about more than who I love, it was letting go of everything I was told to be. The last few years have felt like coming home to a life that had been waiting for me.
Tali Bray
What I love about being a lesbian is what I love about being in love … the wonder and joy of “oh, this is what it’s supposed to feel like.” I love moving through the world with women.
Izzy Stokes
I didn’t fall in love until I realized that queerness was an option. My queer friends have helped me see so much more than I grew up seeing. I’m so proud of us, and I’m so grateful for my lesbian community.
Nandika Chatterjee
When I met my fiancée is when I started to feel most like myself. That meant loving myself for who I am and embracing my identity as a lesbian. I felt free in a way I have never before. That’s the long and short of it.
Liz Lucking
The love and joy of being a lesbian is getting to live the life I dreamed of but never thought I would get to have!
Reflections
As I read these beautiful entries, it’s not lost on me that we’re still living in a world where lesbians are more likely to struggle with maternity problems, fetishization, and compulsory heterosexuality — not to mention the intersectional pressures of racism from both inside and outside the queer community. That’s part of why, according to a 2024 survey, 22 percent of LGBTQ women have attempted suicide, and 66 percent have sought treatment for trauma.
So if you are a lesbian who isn’t out or doesn’t feel safe, I hope you read this and can glean some hope from these messages. So when you look in the mirror, you know that it’s okay to release the weight — which can feel so heavy — of a heteronormative world.
We still have a long fight until all lesbians can feel safe to be themselves, but this is a community that does not back away from the tough, from the joy, from being loud and from all the other things that it takes to start a small revolution.
Hell yeah, lesbians! Here’s to you.
*I am signing off with my cat on my lap and a pride flag over my head <3.
Cuba
Trans parent charged with kidnapping, allegedly fled to Cuba with child
Cuban authorities helped locate Rose Inessa-Ethington
Federal authorities have charged a transgender woman with kidnapping after she allegedly fled to Cuba with her 10-year-old child.
An affidavit that Federal Bureau of Investigation Special Agent Jennifer Waterfield filed in U.S. District Court for the District of Utah on April 16 notes the child is a “biological male who identifies as a female” and “splits time living with divorced parents who share custody” in Cache County, Utah.
Waterfield notes the child on March 28 “was supposed to be traveling by car to” Calgary, Alberta, “for a planned camping trip with his transgender mother, Rose Inessa-Ethington, Rose’s partner, Blue Inessa-Ethington, and Blue’s 3-year-old child.”
The affidavit notes the group instead flew from Vancouver, British Columbia, to Mexico City on March 29. Waterfield writes the Inessa-Ethingtons and the two children then flew from Mérida, Mexico, to Havana on April 1.
The 10-year-old child called her biological mother on March 28 after they arrived in Canada. The custody agreement, according to the affidavit, required Rose Inessa-Ethington to return the child to her former spouse on April 3.
“Interviews of MV [Minor Victim] 1’s family members provided significant concerns for MV 1’s well-being, as MV 1 was born a male, however, identifies as a female child, which is largely believed to be due to manipulation by Rose Inessa-Ethington,” reads the affidavit. “Concerns exist that MV 1 was transported to Cuba for gender reassignment surgery prior to puberty.”
The affidavit indicates authorities found a note in the Inessa-Ethingtons’ home with “instruction from a mental health therapist located in Washington, D.C., including instruction to send the therapist the $10,000.00 and instructions on gender-affirming medical care for children.”
The affidavit does not identify the specific “mental health therapist” in D.C.
A Utah judge on April 13 ordered Rose Inessa-Ethington to “immediately” return the child to her former spouse. The former spouse also received sole custody.
“Your affiant believes that due to the extensive planning and preparation exhibited by both Rose Inessa-Ethington and Blue Inessa-Ethington to isolate MV 1 and take MV 1 to Havana, Cuba, without notifying or requesting permission from MV 1’s mother indicates they are likely not planning to return to the United States,” wrote Waterfield.
The affidavit notes Cuban authorities found the Inessa-Ethingtons and the child.
A press release the U.S. Attorney’s Office for the District of Utah issued notes the Inessa-Ethingtons “were deported from Cuba” on Monday “with the assistance of the FBI.”
The couple has been charged with International Parental Kidnapping. The Inessa-Ethingtons were arraigned in Richmond, Va., on Monday. The press release notes a federal court in Salt Lake City will soon handle the case.
The New York Times reported the child is now back with their biological mother.
“We are grateful to law enforcement for working swiftly to return the child to the biological mother,” said First Assistant U.S. Attorney Melissa Holyoak of the District of Utah in the press release.
The case is unfolding against the backdrop of increased tensions between Washington and Havana after U.S. forces on Jan. 3 seized now former Venezuelan President Nicolás Maduro and his wife, Cilia Flores.
President Donald Trump shortly after he took office in January 2025 issued an executive order that directed the federal government to only recognize two genders: male and female. A second White House directive banned federally-funded gender-affirming care for anyone under 19.
The U.S. Supreme Court last year in the Skrmetti decision upheld a Tennessee law that bans gender-affirming care for minors.
Cuba’s national health care system has offered free sex-reassignment surgeries since 2008.
Activists who are critical of Mariela Castro, the daughter of former President Raúl Castro who spearheads LGBTQ issues as director of Cuba’s National Center for Sexual Education, have previously told the Washington Blade that access to these procedures is limited. The Blade on Wednesday asked a contact in Havana to clarify whether Cuban law currently allows minors to undergo sex-reassignment surgery.
State Department implements anti-trans bathroom policy
I’m telling the scared little girl I once was it’s okay to feel free
Memorial for groundbreaking bisexual activist set for May 2
ROSENSTEIN: Chavous for Democratic D.C. Council-at-Large
