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Brittney Griner considered suicide in Russian prison

WNBA star sat down with Robin Roberts

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ABC News ‘Good Morning America’ anchor Robin Roberts interviews WNBA star Brittney Griner for a primetime special. (Photo courtesy of ABC News)

CONTENT WARNING: The following story discusses suicide ideation.

Her first few weeks behind bars in a Russian prison took a terrible toll on Brittney Griner, the lesbian WNBA star who is breaking her silence on the 10 months she was held on drug-related charges. 

“I wanted to take my life more than once in the first weeks,” Griner told ABC’s Robin Roberts in a primetime interview Wednesday. “I felt like leaving here so badly.”

The two-time Olympic gold medalist and nine-time WNBA All-Star, who plays for the Phoenix Mercury, said she ultimately decided against suicide, partly because she feared Russian authorities would not release her body to her wife, Cherelle Griner. 

While Cherelle and the White House worked to gain her release, Brittney reflected on what she admitted was the “mistake” that landed her in Russian detention. 

“I could just visualize everything I worked so hard for just crumbling and going away,” Griner told Roberts, who is co-anchor at “Good Morning America” and is herself a lesbian and former college basketball player.

Griner, 33, was arrested on Feb. 17, 2022, at Sheremetyevo International Airport in Khimki, a suburb of Moscow. Authorities said they found vape cartridges in her luggage containing cannabis oil, which is illegal in the country.

Griner told Roberts that was the result of a “mental lapse” on her part — packing the cannabis oil cartridges in her luggage, Griner said that she had overslept on the morning she was leaving for Russia to play during the WNBA’s off-season, which is how many of the league’s vastly underpaid players earn a living, compared to NBA players. 

So, she packed while she was “in panic mode,” Griner said. 

“My packing at that moment was just throwing all my stuff in there and zipping it up and saying, ‘OK, I’m ready,’” she told Roberts.

After landing in Russia, Griner realized that she had those two cannabis oil cartridges in her luggage as Russian security officers inspected her bag at the airport. She recalled the moment as a sinking feeling. 

“I’m just like, ‘Oh, my God.’ Like, ‘How did I — how did I make this mistake?’” Griner said. “I could just visualize everything I worked so hard for just crumbling and going away.”

Russian authorities immediately arrested Griner, but her trial would not take place for five months. She described the horrible conditions of her imprisonment during that delay, saying that she didn’t always have toilet paper and that the toothpaste they gave her had expired about 15 years ago.

“That toothpaste was expired,” she said. “We used to put it on the black mold to kill the mold on the walls.”

“The mattress had a huge blood stain on it, and they give you these thin two sheets,” she added. “So you’re basically laying on bars.”

On July 7, 2022, Griner pleaded guilty at her trial to drug charges, admitting that she had the vape cartridges containing cannabis oil but stating she put them in her luggage unintentionally. She testified that she had packed the cartridges by accident, and had “no intention” to break Russian law.

Roberts pressed Griner on this point: “You know there are those who say, ‘Come on. How did you not know that you had cartridges in your luggage?’”

“It’s just so easy to have a mental lapse,” Griner replied. “Granted, my mental lapse was on a more grand scale. But it doesn’t take away from how that can happen,” she explained.

Griner was sentenced to nine years in prison on Aug. 4, 2022, and in October 2022, a judge denied the appeal filed by Griner’s attorneys.

The sentence landed Griner in a penal colony in the Russian region of Mordovia.

“It’s a work camp. You go there to work,” said Griner. “There’s no rest.” Her job was cutting fabric for Russian military uniforms.

“What were the conditions like there?” Roberts asked.

“Really cold,” Griner said. So cold that her health was impacted and she decided to chop off her long dreadlocks.

“What was that like losing that part of you, too?” Roberts asked Griner.

“Honestly, it just had to happen. We had spiders above my bed — making nests,” she said. “My dreads started to freeze,” she added. “They would just stay wet and cold and I was getting sick. You’ve gotta do what you’ve gotta do to survive.”

Her arrest came around the same time as Russia’s invasion of Ukraine, further increasing tensions between Russia and the U.S. But as the Los Angeles Blade reported on Dec, 8, 2022, Russia agreed to release Griner in exchange for Russian arms dealer Viktor Bout.

However, before winning her freedom, Griner revealed authorities forced her to write a letter to Russian President Vladimir Putin.

“They made me write this letter. It was in Russian,” she said. “I had to ask for forgiveness and thanks from their so-called great leader. I didn’t want to do it, but at the same time I wanted to come home.”

Griner said her heart sank upon boarding the plane to freedom and finding that Paul Whelan, another American the White House said was “wrongfully detained,” wasn’t leaving Russia with her.

“I walked on and didn’t see him, maybe he’s next. Maybe they will bring him next,” she said. “They closed the door, and I was like, are you serious? You’re not going to let this man come home now.”

Griner recounts on the experience in “Coming Home,” a memoir set to be released on May 7. 

988 is the National Suicide and Crisis Lifeline and is available 24/7 via phone, text or chat to everyone of all ages, orientations and identities. If you are a transgender, nonbinary, or gender-nonconforming person considering suicide, Trans Lifeline can be reached at 877-565-8860. LGBTQ+ youth (ages 24 and younger) can reach the Trevor Project Lifeline at 1-866-488-7386. You can still also contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255 24 hours a day, and it’s available to people of all ages and identities.

Additional resources:

If you are in a life-threatening situation, please dial 911.

If you are in crisis, please dial 988 or contact Rainbow Youth Project directly at +1 (317) 643-4888

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Gay speedskater racing toward a more inclusive future in sports

Conor McDermott-Mostowy says anti-DEI push is driving away corporate sponsors

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Conor McDermott-Mostowy

LOS ANGELES — As the countdown begins to the February Winter Olympic Games in Milan, Pride House LA is shining a spotlight on queer athletes who are breaking boundaries both on and off the field. Among them is Team USA speedskater Conor McDermott-Mostowy – a fierce competitor and proud member of the queer community. With blistering speed on the ice and a steadfast commitment to equity in sports, Conor is doing so much more than winning medals – he’s redefining what it means to represent one’s country while representing one’s community.

McDermott-Mostowy is one step closer to the 2026 Winter Olympics after winning the recent silver and bronze medals at the U.S. Championships in speedskating. He appeared at a Nov. 1 event presented by Out Athlete Fund/Pride House LA in the organization’s efforts to raise funds to support Conor and other out athletes as they pursue their Olympic dreams in Milan 2026 and beyond.The Blade spoke to the star athlete to talk about resilience, representation, and the legacy he hopes to leave one day.

Blade: Huge congrats, Conor! Winning a World Cup gold is no small feat. Do you feel like this win proved something to the world – or more importantly, to yourself?

McDermott-Mostowy: Winning gold with my team last year was definitely a major goal achieved. That said, the event we won isn’t yet an Olympic event. The races that have had the most profound impact on me actually happened two years ago.

The first was the team pursuit in Obihiro, Japan. I’d always been more of an alternate for that event, since it’s typically raced by skaters who compete in both the 1500m and 5000m. But I’d been itching for the opportunity to race it at the World Cup level. I finally got that chance when a teammate had to pull out at the last minute due to a back issue. We led the race through six of eight laps, ultimately finishing third. While it was a little disappointing to fall out of the lead, I was proud to prove that I could contribute meaningfully and help the team medal.

The second race was later that year in Salt Lake City, my home ice. After competing in Japan, I came down with a lung infection that affected my performance at the next few World Cups. Fortunately, I had time to recover before the North American World Cups and World Championships. At the Salt Lake City World Cup, I was balancing competition with completing my undergraduate degree. I didn’t know what to expect, but I ended up finishing fifth in the 1000m—my highest individual finish ever—and posted a time of 1:06.91. That’s a very significant time in speedskating; only three other Americans have gone under 1:07 in that event, all of whom became world champions. That result felt like a turning point, showing me that an Olympic or World Championship medal wasn’t just a dream—it was within reach.

Blade: This PrideHouse LA event is a huge moment. What does that support from the queer community mean to you?

McDermott-Mostowy: It’s incredibly meaningful. Being queer in Olympic sport can be very isolating, both inside and outside the sport. I barely have time to socialize outside of skating, and relocating to Salt Lake City doesn’t exactly help when it comes to queer community. So having that kind of solidarity and support from the wider LGBTQ+ community really means a lot.

Blade: Do you remember the moment you realized skating could take you all the way to the Olympics?

McDermott-Mostowy: There hasn’t been one single moment. It’s been a series of them. Over the years, I’ve had many races that shattered the limits I thought I had and inspired me to reach higher. That Salt Lake City race was one of them. It made me realize I shouldn’t just aim for the Olympics. I should aim for medals.

Another key moment came in 2018 at my last Junior World Cup, when my teammate and I finished 2nd and 3rd in the mass start. That event is similar to short track but held on a long track. It was my first full year focusing on long track after previously dabbling in it, and we had no expectation of medaling. But after we did, I realized I might actually have a future in this discipline—and that I could be competitive on the world stage. It was a pivotal realization, especially as I was trying to decide whether to continue skating or pursue a traditional college experience.

Blade: What initially drew you to speedskating? How did you get into the sport—and what’s kept you motivated?

McDermott-Mostowy: I grew up on skates. I started at age two and became a strong skater early on. But I never had any interest in hockey or figure skating. One winter, I was skating with my family on the C&O Canal in Washington, D.C., when a guy skated past us on these wild-looking speed skates. I was immediately intrigued. My parents found a local club, which happened to be run by three-time Olympian Nathaniel Mills, and I was hooked.

What’s kept me going is simple: I love it. This isn’t a sport you get rich in. I’ve only earned more than $20,000 a year twice in my career, and you can’t use it to pay for college either. The motivation has to come from within—the pursuit of excellence, the dream of going to the Olympics, and pure love for the sport.

Blade: What’s been your toughest race to date, and what did it teach you?

McDermott-Mostowy: That would be the team pursuit in Japan. I wasn’t expecting to race it and had already competed in a full weekend of events before getting the call. Team pursuit is arguably the toughest event in speedskating. Stepping up without being mentally or physically prepared was a challenge, but I did it. It showed me I could push through, even under extreme circumstances.

Blade: You’ve made headlines not just for your speed, but for your openness. What was it like coming out publicly in the world of elite sport?

McDermott-Mostowy: By the time I was publicly identified as gay, I had already been out to anyone who asked. So “coming out” doesn’t feel like the right term. It wasn’t a big declaration. I had the benefit of growing up seeing openly gay athletes and being part of a supportive community. I never felt the need to hide who I was.

Eventually, as I started achieving more on the ice, people began noticing me and the content I posted, and they put two and two together. When I was asked to speak publicly about being an openly gay athlete in speedskating, I didn’t hesitate.

Blade: What have been the biggest challenges in your career – physically, mentally, or otherwise?

McDermott-Mostowy: Honestly, my entire career has been about overcoming challenges. The two biggest obstacles have been illness and finances.

I’ve dealt with asthma, a norovirus that derailed my chances in 2022, and a fatigue condition last season that affected my performance. These setbacks take a toll. Not just physically, but mentally. When you invest everything into your sport, being forced to pause or scale back is a huge emotional hurdle.

Financially, speedskating is a tough path. Even as a consistent top-20 skater in the world, I’ve only broken $20k twice in a year, and we’re paid for just nine months, even though we train year-round. I’ve leaned on friends and family for support many times just to make ends meet.

Blade: Have you ever been told – explicitly or implicitly – that being openly gay could hurt your chances with sponsors or coaches?

McDermott-Mostowy: Never with coaches. In our sport, selections are based on the clock, not someone’s opinion. My coaches have always been great.

But when it comes to sponsorships, especially over the past year, I’ve noticed a shift. As anti-DEI sentiment grows, brands are backing away from anything that could be seen as “controversial.” Being openly gay seems to fall into that category now. Since most of our income comes from sponsorships, that retreat is deeply felt.

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Trans cyclist’s victory sparks outrage in conservative media

Katheryn Phillips is originally from DC

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Katheryn Phillips (Photo courtesy of zwiftinsider.com)

On the heels of UPenn erasing the record of the first openly transgender NCAA Division I All-American swimmer and the U.S. Supreme Court’s decision to tackle bans on trans student-athletes, right wing media is now all hot and bothered about the latest trans woman who won a cycling championship — even though she competed according to the rules.

On Tuesday, 58-year-old Katheryn Phillips finished first in USA Cycling’s Lyons Masters National Championship race for women aged 55-59, with a time of 1:42:10, according to the official results posted by the organization. The record shows her gender as “F” for female.  

One second behind Phillips was Julie Peterson, with a time of 1:42:11 — as were three other cyclists: Mary Beth Grier, Andrea Cherniak-Tyson, and Carolyn Maddox. 

Peterson, 57, was so outraged, she told Fox News she refused to stand on the podium in second place next to Phillips. Her story was swiftly shared by the New York Post (also owned by Fox’s parent company News Corp.), the Daily Mail, Breitbart, and other conservative media. 

Both Peterson and another competitor are accusing USA Cycling of “hiding” that a transgender woman had registered to race. 

“It was hidden from us. Katheryn Phillips, KJ’s name, was not on that list. And I checked it up all the way to the point of closure when we couldn’t register online anymore,” Debbie Milne told Fox.

“If I had known, I wouldn’t have spent thousands of dollars in travel and time off work to come and do a race,” Peterson said. Fox welcomed Milne, 56, who finished seventh on Tuesday, to Fox & Friends Thursday morning. 

(Video courtesy of Fox News)

Peterson told Fox she did complain to USA Cycling officials prior to the race. Both Milne and Peterson referred to Phillips as a male, and with “he/him” pronouns. 

“To be fair to all humans, if we want to say ‘him’ or ‘her,’ he was born a biological male, that is a fact,” Milne said. “And that is the thing that makes it an unfair advantage. Whatever has happened after that is a whole different topic.”

“I said, ‘I don’t want to race against a man,’ and they quickly scolded me and said ‘Oh, you can’t call him a man,’ and I’m like ‘Well, he is a man,’ so I was quickly scolded and corrected that it is a woman and I don’t even know what to say.”

USA Cycling did not respond to the Washington Blade’s emails requesting comment. 

Phillips, who goes by Kate and by “KJ,” is a former rugby player with the D.C. Furies, who stated in the comments of a 2024 article published by Zwift Insider that she was the first out trans athlete in the U.S. to compete under the 2004 International Olympic Committee’s guidelines on trans participation. 

“When USA Rugby told me about the IOC decision in 2004, I raised my hand to be included. I experience nothing but joy when I play, ride, and race,” Phillips said. 

As the Blade has reported, the International Olympic Committee drastically revised those rules in 2021, and in March, Republican lawmakers in D.C. demanded the IOC ban trans female athletes from women’s sporting events altogether. 

The Blade also reached out to Phillips for comment but as of press time we have not received a response. She told Zwift Insider in March 2024 she does not let those who disapprove or spread hate impact her performance or her attitude. 

“I am unaffected by dissent. I love, I share joy, I am me, and I have been my authentic self for decades,” she said. It’s been reported Phillips came out in 1999, and told Zwift Insider she considers herself a lifelong cyclist. 

“I’ve been on a bike for as long as I can remember,” said Phillips. “As kids, my friends and I rode all over town, we were feral kids; no cell phones, no trackers … we just roamed, and nobody got in trouble or hurt bad enough not to ride home … Scrapes/bruises/cuts were not an issue for us. In my teens, I worked for myself as a court/legal messenger, doing all of the work via my bike until I got a car. Raced BMX as a kiddo (when I mowed lawns to cover the race entry fees), I did MTB stuff (non-racing) and Sprint/Olympic Triathlons in my 30’s, and now I’m racing on Zwift, Road/Gravel, and CX in my 50s.”

In the comments section, Phillips made clear she’s not competing to win. 

“I don’t do sports for victory, I do it because like many other women, I am an athlete to my core,” she said. “Unlike some, I am not there to WIN, I am there to do my best with the competitors and teammates I have around me trying to do the same…we are in it for the experience. I rejoice in their wins, and a lot of joy is reflected back to me when I have a good day.”

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Anaya Bangar challenges ban on trans women in female cricket teams

Former Indian cricketer Sanjay Bangar’s daughter has received support

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Anaya Bangar (Photo courtesy of Anaya Bangar's Instagram page)

Anaya Bangar, the daughter of former Indian cricketer Sanjay Bangar, has partnered with the Manchester Metropolitan University Institute of Sport in the U.K. to assess her physiological profile following her gender-affirming surgery and undergoing hormone replacement therapy. 

From January to March 2025, the 23-year-old underwent an eight-week research project that measured her glucose levels, oxygen uptake, muscle mass, strength, and endurance after extensive training. 

The results, shared via Instagram, revealed her metrics align with those of cisgender female athletes, positioning her as eligible for women’s cricket under current scientific standards. Bangar’s findings challenge the International Cricket Council’s 2023 ban on transgender athletes in women’s cricket, prompting her to call for a science-based dialogue with the Board of Control for Cricket in India and the ICC to reform policies for trans inclusion.

“I am talking with scientific evidence in my hand,” Bangar said in an interview posted to her Instagram page. “So, I hope, this makes an impact and I will be hoping to BCCI and ICC talking with me and discussing this further.” 

On Nov. 21, 2023, the ICC enacted a controversial policy barring trans women from international women’s cricket. Finalized after a board meeting in Ahmedabad, India, the regulation prohibits any trans player who has experienced male puberty from competing, irrespective of gender-affirming surgery or hormone therapy. Developed through a 9-month consultation led by the ICC’s Medical Advisory Committee, the rule aims to safeguard the “integrity, safety, and fairness” of women’s cricket but has drawn criticism for excluding athletes like Canada’s Danielle McGahey, the first trans woman to play internationally. The policy, which allows domestic boards to set their own rules, is slated for review by November 2025.

Bangar shared a document on social media verifying her participation in a physiological study at the Manchester Metropolitan University Institute of Sport, conducted from Jan. 20 to March 3, 2025, focused on cricket performance. The report confirmed that her vital metrics — including hemoglobin, blood glucose, peak power, and mean power — aligned with those of cisgender female athletes. Initially, her fasting blood glucose measured 6.1 mmol/L, slightly above the typical non-diabetic range of 4.0–5.9 mmol/L, but subsequent tests showed it normalized, reinforcing the study’s findings that her physical profile meets female athletic standards.

“I am submitting this to the BCCI and ICC, with full transparency and hope,” said Bangar. “My only intention is to start a conversation based on facts not fear. To build space, not divide it.”

In a letter to the BCCI and the ICC, Bangar emphasized her test results from the Manchester Metropolitan University study. She explained that the research aimed to assess how hormone therapy had influenced her strength, stamina, hemoglobin, glucose levels, and overall performance, benchmarked directly against cisgender female athletic standards.

Bangar’s letter to the BCCI and the ICC clarified the Manchester study was not intended as a political statement but as a catalyst for a science-driven dialogue on fairness and inclusion in cricket. She emphasized the importance of prioritizing empirical data over assumptions to shape equitable policies for trans athletes in the sport.

Bangar urged the BCCI, the world’s most influential cricket authority, to initiate a formal dialogue on trans women’s inclusion in women’s cricket, rooted in medical science, performance metrics, and ethical fairness. She called for the exploration of eligibility pathways based on sport-specific criteria, such as hemoglobin thresholds, testosterone suppression timelines, and standardized performance testing. Additionally, she advocated for collaboration with experts, athletes, and legal advisors to develop policies that balance inclusivity with competitive integrity.

“I am releasing my report and story publicly not for sympathy, but for truth. Because inclusion does not mean ignoring fairness, it means measuring it, transparently and responsibly,” said Bangar in a letter to the BCCI. “I would deeply appreciate the opportunity to meet with you or a representative of the BCCI or ICC to present my findings, discuss possible policy pathways, and work towards a future where every athlete is evaluated based on real data, not outdated perceptions.”

Before her transition, Bangar competed for Islam Gymkhana in Mumbai and Hinckley Cricket Club in the U.K., showcasing her talent in domestic cricket circuits. Her father, Sanjay Bangar, was a dependable all-rounder for the Indian national cricket team from 2001 to 2004, playing 12 test matches and 15 One Day Internationals. He later served as a batting coach for the Indian team from 2014 to 2019, contributing to its strategic development.

Cricket in India is a cultural phenomenon, commanding a fanbase of more than 1 billion, with more than 80 percent of global cricket viewership originating from the country. 

The International Cricket Council, the sport’s governing body, oversees 12 full member nations and more than 90 associate members, with the U.S. recently gaining associate member status in 2019 and co-hosting the 2024 ICC Men’s T20 World Cup. The BCCI generated approximately $2.25 billion in revenue in the 2023–24 financial year, primarily from the Indian Premier League, bilateral series, and ICC revenue sharing. The ICC earns over $3 billion from media rights in India alone for the 2024–27 cycle, contributing nearly 90 percent of its global media rights revenue, with the BCCI receiving 38.5 percent of the ICC’s annual earnings, approximately $231 million per year.

Women’s cricket in India enjoys a growing fanbase, with over 300 million viewers for the Women’s Premier League in 2024, making it a significant driver of the sport’s global popularity. The International Cricket Council oversees women’s cricket in 12 full member nations and over 90 associate members, with the U.S. fielding a women’s team since gaining associate status in 2019 and competing in ICC events like the 2024 Women’s T20 World Cup qualifiers. The BCCI invests heavily in women’s cricket, allocating approximately $60 million annually to the WPL and domestic programs in 2024–25, while contributing to the ICC’s $20 million budget for women’s cricket development globally. India’s media market for women’s cricket, including WPL broadcasting rights, generated $120 million in 2024, accounting for over 50 percent of the ICC’s women’s cricket media revenue.

“As a woman, I feel when someone says that they are women, then they are, be trans or cis. A trans woman is definitely the same as a cis woman emotionally and in vitals, and specially, when someone is on hormone replacement therapy. Stopping Anaya Bangar from playing is discrimination and violation of her rights. It is really sad and painful that every trans woman need to fight and prove their identity everywhere,” said Indrani Chakraborty, an LGBTQ rights activist and a mother of a trans woman. “If ICC and BCCI is stopping her from playing for being transgender, then I will say this to be their lack of awareness and of course the social mindsets which deny acceptance.”

Chakraborty told the Blade that Bangar is an asset, no matter what. She said that the women’s cricket team will only benefit by participation, but the discriminating policies are the hindrance. 

“Actually the transgender community face such discrimination in every sphere. In spite of being potent, they face rejection. This is highly inhuman. These attitudes is regressive and will never let to prosper. Are we really in 2025?,” said Chakraborty. “We, our mindset and the society are the issues. We, as a whole, need to get aware and have to come together for getting justice for Anaya. If today, we remain silent, the entire community will be oppressed. Proper knowledge of gender issues need to be understood.”

The BCCI and the International Cricket Council have not responded to the Blade’s repeated requests for comment.

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