Arts & Entertainment
Change of heart
Texas PFLAG mom shares journey of accepting her lesbian daughter

Shari Johnson (left) with her daughter Cholene and husband James in Grenada for Cholene’s white coat ceremony at the start of her medical school program in January 2011. (Photo courtesy Johnson/Changing Lives Press)
Shari Johnson hasn’t thought much about Mother’s Day.
“I really haven’t thought that far ahead,” the long-time Odessa, Texas, mother, grandmother, great-grandmother and conservative Evangelical Christian says by phone from her home. “[My children] pretty much call me if they’re available but I try not to put a whole lot of that unrealized expectation into things. They have their own lives and their own spouses so it’s about them and that’s how it should be and it works for us.”
Johnson might not be thinking much about being a mom this weekend but it’s a topic she’s thought about intently in recent years. Her first book “Above All Things,” published through her daughter Cholene Espinoza’s Changing Lives Press, comes out May 21 and tells of Johnson’s nearly decade-long journey from the time Cholene came out to her by phone as a lesbian in July 2002, to Johnson’s status now as a PFLAG mom (she started a chapter of the gay-affirming group in Odessa) who has retained her faith in the process (order the book here).
The book tells extensively of Johnson’s (a former dental hygienist) rocky early life, her born-again experience in 1971 after two failed marriages, the black-and-white world view that developed out of years of going to Evangelical churches and the painful journey that came from not only accepting her daughter being gay, but the extensive ramifications it had on every aspect of her life.
Though her prayer had initially been that Cholene — an overachiever pilot with years of Air Force and commercial flying under her belt who’s now in medical school — would “be delivered” from homosexuality, Johnson now sees the experience as a catalyst for a radical adjustment to her faith and overall world view. She credits God with her change of heart and writes several times in the book of experiences where she feels the Lord was speaking to her.
“I kept praying that God would change my daughter but I’m the one who ended up being changed,” Johnson writes. “Prior to this time, I thought I had all the answers. Now I’m not even sure that I understand the questions. I viewed life as being either black or white, there was no gray. I avoided anyone who didn’t think as I did. I was a ‘my-mind-is-made-up-don’t-confuse-me-with-the-facts’-type of person.”
But Johnson’s views began to evolve as she realized her daughter’s 2004 marriage to White House correspondent Ellen Ratner was bringing an unfairly different reaction than it would have had she been marrying a man, the hypocrisy she says Christians often exhibit when talking of the supposed sin of homosexuality compared to most other sins (of which Johnson says they often given themselves a “free pass”), and the realization that nobody (especially a Christian) would choose a gay orientation for themselves. These epiphanies had life-changing effects on her.
After years of study and thought, Johnson believes centuries of anti-gay preaching in Christian churches of most varieties comes down to mistakes in scriptural interpretation.
“If we believe that homosexuality is not a choice, then we have to either believe that God is cruel to have played this terrible trick on people and not the loving God we think he is (and that would be a God I could not serve),” she writes in the book. “Or there has to be a mistake in interpreting the scriptures. I chose to believe the latter.”
Though initially highly skeptical, Johnson feels the Lord brought her to a place where she was able to consider that she may have been wrong before.
“I always thought I had sought the will of God in my life before but I realize now what I had often been doing was going to him with my plan and then leaving before I got an answer,” she says. “If people are truly seeking, and all I’m asking people to do is consider that we could be wrong on the way some of these scriptures have been interpreted over the years, but when I finally got around to reading what some of these writers were saying — and I avoided even reading this stuff for the longest time — I realized I needed to start thinking for myself and not just keep blindly repeating what someone else had told me.”
Johnson credits the writings of Rev. Paula Jackson and her work “What Does the Bible Say About Being Gay? — Probably Not What You’ve Been Told,” with helping her expand her theological horizons. That Jackson didn’t write in a “histrionic, blasphemous, in-your-face” manner that “didn’t disregard my point of view,” resonated with Johnson.
“She just presented the facts and lets the reader come to his or her own conclusions,” Johnson writes. “The entire study boils down to this one question: What if we’re wrong?”
Espinoza, who eventually hopes to work as a doctor with Ratner in South Sudan, says it’s important for gay Christians to follow the example of Christ rather than get sidelined in what she and her mother now feel is misconstrued anti-gay theology.
“Christ did not have anything to say about homosexuality but he had a lot to say about love, honor and respect,” she wrote in an e-mail to the Blade. “If we are loving, honorable and respectful in our relationships, I think that reduces a lot of the guilt and self loathing in our heads. We need to separate those who condemn us from the message of love and reconciliation, the message that Christ has brought to us.”
Johnson has become a staunch advocate for LGBT acceptance within Christian churches in the Odessa area. It’s led to a thorny conundrum — she’s tried sharing her story, but often leaves Bible studies and church services feeling she’s been merely placated. She’s at a point now where she can’t stomach anti-gay teaching from the pulpit and has left several churches in frustration. She says gay-welcoming churches in her part of the state are pretty much non-existent.
Johnson has lots of interesting opinions on trends in the modern church, especially with the anti-gay teaching that abounds in the Bible Belt.
She concedes there is a time, whether it’s in the political or religious realm, where it’s OK to respectfully agree to disagree.
“This whole idea of, ‘You have to see things my way,’ that’s never worked in politics, religion or anything else,” she says. “It never worked and it never will. But God gave me a big wake-up call and I would love for other people to not have to go through what I went through. That’s really why I wrote the book.”
She says it’s possible that churches with anti-gay teaching that seem to be thriving — even those led by household-name preachers like Rick Warren and Joel Osteen — might not be as blest as it appears.
“You can’t always assume that God’s blessing a church just because of the numbers,” she says. “People go to church for all sorts of reasons. And when these men have been put on the spot on national television and asked about gay issues and the whole Christian community is sort of collectively holding its breath waiting to hear what they say, they give the accepted answer, but I doubt very seriously that’s what they’re preaching from the pulpit or what they really feel in their hearts.”
But could so many religious teachers have been so wrong for so many years on gay issues? Johnson says yes.
“It’s happened since creation,” she says. “Anytime man gets involved, he manages to screw things up … Anytime there’s been a religious movement that gets started, it’s basically that person’s idea of who God is and what sin is. We tend to think we have all this figured out but you know what the Bible says about our own righteousness — it’s like filthy rags to God.”
But how does someone — especially a gay teen struggling with suicidal thoughts growing up in an Evangelical household — know whom to listen to? Aren’t there well-meaning Christians who simply believe homosexuality isn’t part of God’s plan?
Johnson says that’s where her biggest concern lies — she wants LGBT teens and young adults to have a chance to consider the possibility that their being gay isn’t the sinful curse many churches make it out to be. It’s the main reason she started her PFLAG chapter.
“I don’t have an easy answer for this but we have to have a place for kids to go and hear a different message. They’re not exposed to it at home, they have no place to hear a positive message, they’re in trouble and it has nothing to do with who they really are.”
With so many voices out there claiming to be spokesmen for God or claiming to have heard from God directly, Johnson admits absolute truth is “not always easy to discern.” She says she knows it’s God speaking when she feels compelled to go out of her comfort zone for the greater good.
“I usually know that if it’s contrary to the way I think, it’s usually God,” she says with a self-deprecating tone she uses often in the book. “I tend to line up with the other guy more often in my own thinking. But I can tell if I’m doing something for selfish reasons or whatever, it’s not of God. He does not let up. If it’s something I feel I’m supposed to do … I’m usually thinking, ‘Don’t make me do this.’ You have to learn to set aside the voice of past teaching, past thinking. … For everyone it’s different, but I feel when it’s truly God speaking, it’s a different thing and you know it.”
a&e features
Meet Mr. Christmas
Hallmark’s Jonathan Bennett on telling gay love stories for mainstream audiences
Jonathan Bennett believes there are two kinds of people in the world — those who love Hallmark movies and liars. And in Season 2 of Finding Mr. Christmas, which the Mean Girls star co-created with Ben Roy, Bennett is searching for Hallmark’s next leading man.
“It’s so fun for people because everyone in their life has someone they know that they think should be in Hallmark movies, right? The UPS driver, the barista at the coffee shop, the dentist,” Bennett says. “So we’re testing their acting abilities, we’re testing who they are, but we’re also looking for that star quality — the thing that makes them shine above everyone else. It’s almost something you can’t explain, but we know it when we see it.”
Season 2’s cast includes a former NFL player for the Green Bay Packers, a few actors, and a realtor. The 10 men compete in weekly festive-themed acting challenges, one of which included having to ride a horse and act out a scene with Alison Sweeney. The contestants were chosen from a crop of 360 potential men, and Bennett gives kudos to the show’s Emmy-nominated casting director, Lindsay Liles (The Bachelor, Bachelor in Paradise).
“She has a tough job because she has to find 10 guys that are going to be good reality television, but also have the talent to act, carry a scene, and lead a Hallmark movie eventually,” he says. To be the right fit for a Hallmark leading man, Bennett singles out five key characteristics: you have to be funny, charming, kind, have a sense of humor, and you have to do it all with a big heart.
Of course, Finding Mr. Christmas wouldn’t be Finding Mr. Christmas without its signature eye candy — something Bennett describes as “part of the job” for the contestants. “I can’t believe Hallmark let me get away with this. I dressed them as sexy reindeer and put them in harnesses attached to a cable 30 feet in the air, and they had to do a sexy reindeer photo shoot challenge,” he says with a laugh. “This season is just bigger and bolder than last. People are responding to not only all the craziness that we put them through, but also comparing and contrasting the guys in their acting scenes when we do them back-to-back.”
Season 1 winner Ezra Moreland’s career has been an early testament to the show’s success at finding rising talent. On seeing the show’s first winner flourish, Bennett says, “Now to watch him out in the world, just booking commercial after commercial and shining as an actor and a model, I think the show gave him the wings to do that. He learned so much about himself, and he took all that into his future auditions and casting. He just works nonstop. I’ve never seen an actor book more commercials and modeling gigs in my life.”
Bennett has been a star of plenty of Hallmark movies himself, including the GLAAD-award-winning The Groomsmen: Second Chances, which makes him a fitting host. Among those movies are 2020’s Christmas House, which featured the first same-sex kiss on the network and had a major impact on Bennett’s career as an openly gay man. “Hallmark’s been so great about supporting me in queer storytelling. But again, I don’t make gay movies for gay audiences. I make gay love stories for a broad audience, and that’s a huge difference, right? We’re not telling stories inside baseball that only the gay community will understand.”
He continues, “The backdrop of a Hallmark Christmas movie is very familiar to these people who watch. And so when you tell a gay love story, and you tell it no differently than a straight love story in that space, they’re able to understand. It’s able to change hearts and minds for people who might not have it in their lives.”
While Hallmark has become a major staple of Bennett’s career, he started off wanting to be a Broadway actor. And before the first season of Finding Mr. Christmas aired, Bennett took a break from TV to make his Broadway debut in Spamalot, replacing Michael Urie as Sir Robin and starring alongside Ethan Slater and Alex Brightman.
“That was my dream since I was five years old – then I booked a movie called Mean Girls, and everything kind of changes in your life. You no longer become a person pursuing Broadway, you become a part of pop culture,” Bennett recalls. “And to be honest, when I hit 40, I was like, ‘I’m probably never going to get to live that dream.’ And that’s okay, because I got to do other dreams and other things that were just as cool but different. So I honestly never thought it would happen.”
Bennett is still determined to make his way back on Broadway with the right role — he calls Spamalot the “best experience” of his life, after all — but he’s got another Hallmark show lined up with Murder Mystery House, which he co-created. The show was recently greenlit for development and intends to bring the Hallmark mystery movie to life. “It’s kind of like our version of The Traitors,” Bennett admits.
Looking back on both seasons, Bennett says that what makes Finding Mr. Christmas stand out in the overcrowded reality TV landscape is that everyone involved makes it with heart: “This isn’t a show where you’re going to watch people throw drinks in each other’s faces and get into big fights. The thing that has amazed me so much about this show, the more we’ve done it, is that every season, 10 guys come in as competitors, but they leave as a family and as brothers. That’s something you don’t get on any other network.”
Finding Mr. Christmas airs every Monday on Hallmark through December 20, with episodes available to stream on Hallmark+.
The new LGBTQ venue Rush (2001 14th Street, N.W.) held a preview night on Friday, Nov. 28. Performers included Cake Pop!, Druex Sidora and Tiara Missou.
(Washington Blade photos by Michael Key)
















Movies
Holiday movie season off to a ‘Wicked’ good start
From Hallmark to horror, something for all tastes
With Christmas just around the corner, it’s time to look ahead to the movies headed our way for December – and just like last year, the perfect film to launch it all is already here.
We’re talking, of course, of “Wicked: For Good” (now in theaters), the follow-up to last year’s smash adaptation of the hit Broadway musical that turns the witchy mythos of “The Wizard of Oz” inside out. A continuation rather than a sequel, director John M. Chu’s sumptuously crafted epic adapts the show’s second act to conclude the saga of green-skinned Elpheba – branded as a “wicked” witch by the authoritarian Wizard (Jeff Goldblum) for her rebellion against his suppression of Oz’s animal population – and her complicated relationship with “frenemy” Glinda (Ariana Grande-Butera), who is now serving as a sort of “double agent” by working to change the regime from within. As with the movie’s source material, there’s a definite “second act slump,” which Chu and co-screenwriters Winnie Holzman and Dana Fox attempt to counter with some minor retooling of the plot, incorporating more material derived from the Gregory Maguire novel that inspired it all, and adding a couple of new, original songs; it works, to a large degree, but the second half still lacks the bubbling sense of joy and excitement that made the first such an infectious hit.
Still, that’s just a quibble – and while this one may not leave us as giddy, it’s a worthy completion of the project, arguably improving the show by granting it levels of emotional resonance, political subtext, and overall depth that always seemed to be the missing element to the material. As for the cast (which also includes first out gay “sexiest man alive” Jonathan Bailey, alongside Michelle Yeoh, Marissa Bode, Ethan Slater, and Bowen Yang), they all continue to deliver powerhouse performances, breathing the kind of fully developed life into their fantastical characters that makes them all stick with us after the final high note is sung. So never mind the inevitable letdown that comes with the splitting of the story into two parts – taken as a whole, Chu’s “Wicked” saga is still a cinematic triumph that, frankly, very few of us expected it to be, and that’s hardly a reason to be disappointed.
As for the rest of the holiday season, there’s not much in the way of directly LGBTQ content coming to our screens – but there are still plenty of promising titles for us to look forward to.
Cutting to the chase for fans of the “Queer Christmas Romance” genre, we’re happy to report that Hallmark – the reigning champion of such fare – has two queer holiday entries lined up for you this season. First up is “A Keller Christmas Vacation” (Hallmark+, now streaming), a quirky tale of three adult siblings on a holiday cruise with their parents in Europe, each dealing with their own personal issues as they find “unexpected joy, romance, and family bonds” along the way – and gay heartthrob Jonathan Bennett, who’s pretty much become the poster boy for this genre, stars as one of them, with former Superman Brandon Routh providing extra eye candy for good measure. The second is “The Christmas Baby” (Hallmark, 12/21), starring Ali Liebert and Katherine Barrell as a lesbian couple who get a holiday surprise when they find a baby on their doorstep; they decide to adopt – which, naturally, requires them to negotiate the process of balancing their relationship and careers with the challenge of being new moms.
There’s also “The Christmas Writer” (Tello, now streaming) in which a lesbian romance author (Shelby Allison Brown) returns to her hometown in search of some Christmas spirit after the death of her mother, an ugly breakup, and a bad case of writer’s block. What she finds is a single lesbian mom (Callie Bussell), and flying sparks ensue.
For heartwarming Christmas cheer without the romcom trappings, there’s “Oh. What. Fun.” (Prime Video 12/3), which serves up Michelle Pfeiffer as a mom and grandma whose knack for putting on the perfect holiday gathering is taken for granted by her self-absorbed family – until they leave her behind on a family outing, forcing them to pull it together themselves. Pfeiffer leads an ensemble cast that includes co-stars like Eva Longoria, Felicity Jones, Denis Leary, Danielle Brooks, Jason Schwartzman, Maude Apatow, Joan Chen, and Chloë Grace Moretz as the queer daughter whose vegan girlfriend throws a last-minute wrench into the dinner menu. Sounds relatable!
Not holiday-themed but still a gift, “Merrily We Roll Along” (limited theaters 12/5) is the multiple-Tony-winning 2023 Broadway revival of Stephen Sondheim’s musical that tells the story – in reverse – of three high school BFFs as their relationship (and their ideals) shift across three decades. Featuring some of Sondheim’s most personal compositions, director Maria Friedman’s production of the show (starring Jonathan Groff, Daniel Radcliffe, and Lindsey Mendez) was immersively captured on film before closing in 2024 – and now, it’s on its way to movie screens as a special holiday treat for musical theatre lovers.
Likewise unseasonable and just as intriguing is “100 Nights of Hero” (limited theaters 12/5), an adaptation of the graphic novel by Isabel Greenberg (itself based on the classic folk tale “1,001 Nights”) in which a woman (Maika Monroe) is left alone by her neglectful husband (Amir El-Masry) for 100 nights at the estate of his seductive friend (Nicholas Galitzine, “Red, White, and Royal Blue”) as a test of her fidelity, with only her loyal maid (Emma Corrin, “The Crown”) as an ally. A sexy and stylish period fantasy with a queer-inlusive cast, it comes with buzzy acclaim from its Venice Film Fest debut, so we’ve definitely got this one on our list.
Kristen Stewart fans will be excited to see the debut of “The Chronology of Water” (limited theaters 12/5), the queer screen queen’s first film as producer, director, and co-writer. Adapted from Lidia Yuknavitch’s memoir, it stars Imogen Poots as a woman who overcomes personal trauma through her writing, and earned a lengthy standing ovation at its Cannes premiere earlier this year. The release is limited, with a wider expansion in early 2026 – but we’re confident it will be worth waiting for, if you have to.
“Hamnet” (Theaters, 12/12), from Oscar-winning director Chloé Zhao, delivers a speculative slice of behind-the-scenes history with a period tearjerker about William Shakespeare (Paul Mescal) and his wife, Agnes (Jessie Buckley), as they struggle to cope with the death of their 11-year-old son – a real-life tragedy that inspired the playwright in his creation of “Hamlet.” Advance reviews have offered high praise for this one, especially regarding Buckley’s performance; but as his fans know, Mescal is no slouch either, and they’ll no doubt be standing in line for this one whether they’re interested in Shakespeare or not. Emily Watson and Joe Alwyn also star.

It’s been 15 years since iconic producer/director James L. Brooks has made a movie, but the “Terms of Endearment filmmaker is back this month with “Ella McCay” (theaters, 12/12), a political dramedy set in the Obama era, which follows a young Lieutenant Governor (Emma Mackey) as she prepares to take over after her boss and mentor (Albert Brooks) accepts a Cabinet position with the new administration. Also featuring popular and prolific queer ally Jamie Lee Curtis, alongside Jack Lowden, Kumail Nanjiani, Ayo Edebiri, and Woody Harrelson, it’s sure to be a highlight of the season – after all, besides all his movies, Brooks is the man responsible for “The Mary Tyler Moore Show” and “The Simpsons,” so the track record speaks for itself.
Daniel Craig returns for one more round as Master Detective Benoit Blanc in “Wake Up Dead Man: A Knives Out Mystery” (Netflix, 12/12), the third installment in filmmaker Rian Johnson’s series of all-star comedic “whodunnits” that both spoof and pay homage to the classic murder mystery genre defined by Agatha Christie and other authors of her era. This time, the eccentric gay detective investigates a murder within a devout church community centered around a charismatic priest (Josh Brolin), in what’s described as “his most dangerous case yet,” and the list of suspects includes Josh O’Connor, Glenn Close, Mila Kunis, Jeremy Renner, Kerry Washington, Andrew Scott, Cailee Spaeny, Daryl McCormack, and Thomas Haden Church. If it’s even half as diabolically clever as the first two films, it’s bound to be a fun ride.
Screen icon Kate Winslet makes her directorial debut (from a screenplay by her son, Joe Anders) with “Goodbye June” (limited theaters 12/12, Netflix 12/24), a Christmas-set British drama about a family that gathers around its ailing mother (Helen Mirren) as she prepares to face the end of her life on her own terms. Inspired by the personal experiences surrounding the death of Winslet’s mother from ovarian cancer, some audiences might find the subject matter too much of a downer for the holiday season, but a light-hearted and positive tone – along with an ensemble cast that includes Toni Collette, Johnny Flynn, Andrea Riseborough, Timothy Spall, and Winslet herself – is likely to take the edge off for those willing to include a touch of bittersweet flavor in their holiday season.
For those who love the immersive, imaginative spectacle of James Cameron’s “Avatar” franchise, “Avatar: Fire and Ash” (theaters, 12/19) makes its eagerly awaited debut this month, with a third installment that sees the Na’vi people enmeshed in further struggle with exploitative humans from Earth – which gives the phrase “it’s going to be a Blue Christmas” a whole new meaning. The cast includes returning players Sam Worthington, Zoe Saldaña, Stephen Lang, Sigourney Weaver, CCH Pounder, Giovanni Ribisi, Kate Winslet, Cliff Curtis, Edie Falco, Jemaine Clement, and multiple other veterans of the series.
Because sometimes you need a creepy psychological thriller to offset all the seasonal sweetness, versatile director Paul Feig’s “The Housemaid” (Theaters, 12/19) gives us Sydney Sweeney as in the title role, who takes a job as live-in servant to a wealthy woman (Amanda Seyfried) and her family, and slowly begins to discover the dark secrets lurking behind her new employers’ seemingly perfect life. Brandon Sklenar, Michele Morrone, and Elizabeth Perkins also star.
With “Father Mother Sister Brother” (limited theaters 12/24), acclaimed cult filmmaker Jim Jarmusch re-emerges with an anthology movie that follows three estranged family relationships in three different countries around the world. Its ensemble cast features Tom Waits, Adam Driver, Mayim Bialik, Charlotte Rampling, Cate Blanchett, Vicky Krieps, Sarah Greene, Luka Sabbat, and transgender actress Indya Moore (“Pose”) – and oh, by the way, it won the Golden Lion at this year’s Cannes Film Festival, so cinema enthusiasts are especially advised to consider it a “must-see” for their holiday season.
Finally, if you’re a member of the “Cult of Chalamet,” you’re probably already looking forward to “Marty Supreme” (theaters 12/25), in which the gifted young “It Boy” actor plays an ambitious ping pong player who “goes to hell and back” on his path to becoming a champion in the sport. Loosely based on the story of real-life table tennis champion Marty Reisman, it’s helmed by acclaimed director Josh Safdie (“Uncut Gems”) and co-stars Gwyneth Paltrow, Odessa A’zion, Kevin O’Leary, Tyler Okonma, Abel Ferrara, Sandra Bernhard, and Fran Drescher – but let’s face it, it’s going to be all about Timothée, and we’re perfectly fine with that.
With all those titles to choose from, we’re pretty confident you’ll have enough to keep you entertained until next year, when we can look forward to thrilling new releases like the much-anticipated “Pillion,” with Alexander Skarsgård – but we’ll have more on that for our next preview. For now, enjoy the seasonal offerings already on your plate.
Happy holidays!
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