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Change of heart

Texas PFLAG mom shares journey of accepting her lesbian daughter

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Shari Johnson (left) with her daughter Cholene and husband James in Grenada for Cholene’s white coat ceremony at the start of her medical school program in January 2011. (Photo courtesy Johnson/Changing Lives Press)

Shari Johnson hasn’t thought much about Mother’s Day.

“I really haven’t thought that far ahead,” the long-time Odessa, Texas, mother, grandmother, great-grandmother and conservative Evangelical Christian says by phone from her home. “[My children] pretty much call me if they’re available but I try not to put a whole lot of that unrealized expectation into things. They have their own lives and their own spouses so it’s about them and that’s how it should be and it works for us.”

Johnson might not be thinking much about being a mom this weekend but it’s a topic she’s thought about intently in recent years. Her first book “Above All Things,” published through her daughter Cholene Espinoza’s Changing Lives Press, comes out May 21 and tells of Johnson’s nearly decade-long journey from the time Cholene came out to her by phone as a lesbian in July 2002, to Johnson’s status now as a PFLAG mom (she started a chapter of the gay-affirming group in Odessa) who has retained her faith in the process (order the book here).

The book tells extensively of Johnson’s (a former dental hygienist) rocky early life, her born-again experience in 1971 after two failed marriages, the black-and-white world view that developed out of years of going to Evangelical churches and the painful journey that came from not only accepting her daughter being gay, but the extensive ramifications it had on every aspect of her life.

Though her prayer had initially been that Cholene — an overachiever pilot with years of Air Force and commercial flying under her belt who’s now in medical school — would “be delivered” from homosexuality, Johnson now sees the experience as a catalyst for a radical adjustment to her faith and overall world view. She credits God with her change of heart and writes several times in the book of experiences where she feels the Lord was speaking to her.

“I kept praying that God would change my daughter but I’m the one who ended up being changed,” Johnson writes. “Prior to this time, I thought I had all the answers. Now I’m not even sure that I understand the questions. I viewed life as being either black or white, there was no gray. I avoided anyone who didn’t think as I did. I was a ‘my-mind-is-made-up-don’t-confuse-me-with-the-facts’-type of person.”

But Johnson’s views began to evolve as she realized her daughter’s 2004 marriage to White House correspondent Ellen Ratner was bringing an unfairly different reaction than it would have had she been marrying a man, the hypocrisy she says Christians often exhibit when talking of the supposed sin of homosexuality compared to most other sins (of which Johnson says they often given themselves a “free pass”), and the realization that nobody (especially a Christian) would choose a gay orientation for themselves. These epiphanies had life-changing effects on her.

After years of study and thought, Johnson believes centuries of anti-gay preaching in Christian churches of most varieties comes down to mistakes in scriptural interpretation.

“If we believe that homosexuality is not a choice, then we have to either believe that God is cruel to have played this terrible trick on people and not the loving God we think he is (and that would be a God I could not serve),” she writes in the book. “Or there has to be a mistake in interpreting the scriptures. I chose to believe the latter.”

Though initially highly skeptical, Johnson feels the Lord brought her to a place where she was able to consider that she may have been wrong before.

“I always thought I had sought the will of God in my life before but I realize now what I had often been doing was going to him with my plan and then leaving before I got an answer,” she says. “If people are truly seeking, and all I’m asking people to do is consider that we could be wrong on the way some of these scriptures have been interpreted over the years, but when I finally got around to reading what some of these writers were saying — and I avoided even reading this stuff for the longest time — I realized I needed to start thinking for myself and not just keep blindly repeating what someone else had told me.”

Johnson credits the writings of Rev. Paula Jackson and her work “What Does the Bible Say About Being Gay? — Probably Not What You’ve Been Told,” with helping her expand her theological horizons. That Jackson didn’t write in a “histrionic, blasphemous, in-your-face” manner that “didn’t disregard my point of view,” resonated with Johnson.

“She just presented the facts and lets the reader come to his or her own conclusions,” Johnson writes. “The entire study boils down to this one question: What if we’re wrong?”

Espinoza, who eventually hopes to work as a doctor with Ratner in South Sudan, says it’s important for gay Christians to follow the example of Christ rather than get sidelined in what she and her mother now feel is misconstrued anti-gay theology.

“Christ did not have anything to say about homosexuality but he had a lot to say about love, honor and respect,” she wrote in an e-mail to the Blade. “If we are loving, honorable and respectful in our relationships, I think that reduces a lot of the guilt and self loathing in our heads. We need to separate those who condemn us from the message of love and reconciliation, the message that Christ has brought to us.”

Johnson has become a staunch advocate for LGBT acceptance within Christian churches in the Odessa area. It’s led to a thorny conundrum — she’s tried sharing her story, but often leaves Bible studies and church services feeling she’s been merely placated. She’s at a point now where she can’t stomach anti-gay teaching from the pulpit and has left several churches in frustration. She says gay-welcoming churches in her part of the state are pretty much non-existent.

Johnson has lots of interesting opinions on trends in the modern church, especially with the anti-gay teaching that abounds in the Bible Belt.

She concedes there is a time, whether it’s in the political or religious realm, where it’s OK to respectfully agree to disagree.

“This whole idea of, ‘You have to see things my way,’ that’s never worked in politics, religion or anything else,” she says. “It never worked and it never will. But God gave me a big wake-up call and I would love for other people to not have to go through what I went through. That’s really why I wrote the book.”

She says it’s possible that churches with anti-gay teaching that seem to be thriving — even those led by household-name preachers like Rick Warren and Joel Osteen — might not be as blest as it appears.

“You can’t always assume that God’s blessing a church just because of the numbers,” she says. “People go to church for all sorts of reasons. And when these men have been put on the spot on national television and asked about gay issues and the whole Christian community is sort of collectively holding its breath waiting to hear what they say, they give the accepted answer, but I doubt very seriously that’s what they’re preaching from the pulpit or what they really feel in their hearts.”

But could so many religious teachers have been so wrong for so many years on gay issues? Johnson says yes.

“It’s happened since creation,” she says. “Anytime man gets involved, he manages to screw things up … Anytime there’s been a religious movement that gets started, it’s basically that person’s idea of who God is and what sin is. We tend to think we have all this figured out but you know what the Bible says about our own righteousness — it’s like filthy rags to God.”

But how does someone — especially a gay teen struggling with suicidal thoughts growing up in an Evangelical household — know whom to listen to? Aren’t there well-meaning Christians who simply believe homosexuality isn’t part of God’s plan?

Johnson says that’s where her biggest concern lies — she wants LGBT teens and young adults to have a chance to consider the possibility that their being gay isn’t the sinful curse many churches make it out to be. It’s the main reason she started her PFLAG chapter.

“I don’t have an easy answer for this but we have to have a place for kids to go and hear a different message. They’re not exposed to it at home, they have no place to hear a positive message, they’re in trouble and it has nothing to do with who they really are.”

With so many voices out there claiming to be spokesmen for God or claiming to have heard from God directly, Johnson admits absolute truth is “not always easy to discern.” She says she knows it’s God speaking when she feels compelled to go out of her comfort zone for the greater good.

“I usually know that if it’s contrary to the way I think, it’s usually God,” she says with a self-deprecating tone she uses often in the book. “I tend to line up with the other guy more often in my own thinking. But I can tell if I’m doing something for selfish reasons or whatever, it’s not of God. He does not let up. If it’s something I feel I’m supposed to do … I’m usually thinking, ‘Don’t make me do this.’ You have to learn to set aside the voice of past teaching, past thinking. … For everyone it’s different, but I feel when it’s truly God speaking, it’s a different thing and you know it.”

 

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Egypt

Iran, Egypt object to playing in Seattle World Cup ‘Pride Match’

Game to take place on June 26

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(Photo by fifg/Bigstock)

Iran and Egypt have objected to playing in a “Pride Match” that will take place in Seattle during the 2026 World Cup.

The Egyptian Football Association on Tuesday said it told FIFA Secretary General Mattias Grafström in a letter that “it categorically rejects holding any activities related to supporting (homosexuality) during the match between the Egyptian national team and Iran, scheduled to be held in Seattle, USA, on June 26, 2026, in the third round of the group stage of the 2026 World Cup.” Football Federation Islamic Republic of Iran President Mehdi Taj told ISNA, a semi-official Iranian news agency that both his country and Egypt “protested this issue.”

The 2026 World Cup will take place in the U.S., Canada, and Mexico. The draw took place at the Kennedy Center on Dec. 5.

Iran is among the handful of countries in which consensual same-sex sexual relations remain punishable by death.

The State Department’s 2023 human rights report notes that while Egyptian law “did not explicitly criminalize consensual same-sex sexual activity, authorities regularly arrested and prosecuted LGBTQI+ persons on charges including ‘debauchery,’ prostitution, and ‘violating family values.’” Egyptian authorities “also reportedly prosecuted LGBTQI+ individuals for ‘misuse of social media.’”

“This resulted in de facto criminalization of same-sex conduct and identity,” notes the report.

The 2024 human rights report the State Department released earlier this year did not include LGBTQ-specific references.

Soccer has ‘unique power to unite people across borders, cultures, and beliefs’

The June 26 match between Iran and Egypt coincides with Seattle Pride. The Washington Post reported the Seattle FIFA World Cup 2026 Local Organizing Committee decided to hold the “Pride Match” before last week’s draw.

“As the Local Organizing Committee, SeattleFWC26’s role is to prepare our city to host the matches and manage the city experience outside of Seattle Stadium,” said SeattleFWC26 Vice President of Communications Hana Tadesse in a statement the committee sent to the Washington Blade on Wednesday. “SeattleFWC26 is moving forward as planned with our community programming outside the stadium during Pride weekend and throughout the tournament, partnering with LGBTQ+ leaders, artists, and business owners to elevate existing Pride celebrations across Washington.”

“Football has a unique power to unite people across borders, cultures, and beliefs,” added Tadeese. “The Pacific Northwest is home to one of the nation’s largest Iranian-American communities, a thriving Egyptian diaspora, and rich communities representing all nations we’re hosting in Seattle. We’re committed to ensuring all residents and visitors experience the warmth, respect, and dignity that defines our region.”

The 2034 World Cup will take place in Saudi Arabia.

Consensual same-sex sexual relations remain punishable by death in the country. The 2022 World Cup took place in neighboring Qatar, despite concerns over the country’s anti-LGBTQ rights record.

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Television

‘Heated Rivalry’ is the gay hockey romance you didn’t know you needed

Spoiler alert: It’s not really about hockey

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Hudson Williams and Connor Storrie in ‘Heated Rivalry.’ (Photo courtesy of Crave/HBO Max)

Spoiler Alert: “Heated Rivalry” is not about hockey.

The new limited series, produced for the Canadian streaming service Crave and available in the U.S. on HBO Max, may look from its marketing like a show about hockey. It definitely contains a lot of scenes involving hockey – being played, being watched, being talked about – and the story is surrounded by hockey; its two main characters are professional hockey players, and their competition as opposing hockey champions (the “rivalry” of the title) is a major factor that moves the plot.

Even so, if you’re a hockey fan who knows nothing about it, and you stumble across it while looking for something to watch, be warned before you press “play” that you are probably in for a big surprise.

Adapted from “Game Changers,” a popular book series by Canadian author Rachel Reid, the show follows the two above-mentioned hockey pros – Canadian Shane Hollander (Hudson Williams) and Russian Ilya Rozanov (Connor Storrie), each of whom is a star player for their respective team – as they compete against each other with puffed-up “alpha” swagger, on the ice and in the media. When the skates (and cameras) are off, however, there’s a different story going on. Despite the jocular animosity of their public relationship, there’s something else brewing between them in private, and it comes to a head when a commercial shoot leads to an unexpected rendezvous in a hotel room.

Well, unexpected for them, at least. We in the audience have seen it coming since that first smoldering glance across the rink.

From there, “Heated Rivalries” continues over a course of years as the two secret lovers use every match, tournament, or Winter Olympics where they compete against each other as an opportunity for more rendezvous in more hotel rooms. But while their meetings may be all about a release of pent-up passion, the bond between them is based on something more. In the high-stakes world of professional hockey, there’s not much they can do about that – publicly, at least – without killing their careers; in Ilya’s case, as a Russian citizen and the son of a prominent government official, the situation carries the potential for even graver consequences. 

That’s just at the end of the first two episodes, though. The show, which drops an episode weekly through December, leaves us hanging there to explore the story of another hockey player, Scott (François Arnaud), teammate and best friend to Shane, who becomes entangled with smoothie barista Kip (Robbie G.K.) in a whole secret gay life of his own.

If you’re thinking that the idea of a gay love story between two butch hockey players is a preposterous premise for romance fiction, think again – or at least redefine your idea of “preposterous.” It’s a genre that has exploded in popularity among a surprisingly large demographic of romance literature fans who also love hockey, combining the thrill of forbidden love with the drama and excitement of their favorite sport to catapult numerous writers, including Reid, onto the bestseller lists, which was surely a factor in the choice to translate her “Games Changers” books to the screen, courtesy of the show’s queer creator/writer/director Jacob Tierney.

The latter (also co-creator of “Letterkenny,” another popular and queer-friendly Canadian show with a strong hockey presence) delivers it with all the glossy, high-charged passion one would expect – and more – from a romance about world-class athletes in love. Set within the rarified world of wealth and privilege that is professional sports, the drama takes place against a backdrop of packed arenas, awards ceremonies, elegant fundraisers, and luxury hotels, where the protagonists must play at being enemies while secretly planning their next hook-up with each other.

Which brings us to the thing that really makes “Heated Rivalry” the buzziest queer show of late 2025: the sex. The show takes full advantage of its story’s obvious sex appeal – as well as its leading actors’ sculpted, athletic bodies – to serve up some of the hottest onscreen trysts in gay TV memory. Though they stop just short of being “explicit,” they’re the kind of sex scenes that push the limits of “softcore” right to the edge and make sure we know exactly what’s happening, even if we can’t see the details. Tierney turns those steamy private meetings between Shane and Ilya into set pieces and centers entire episodes around them, because he knows they’re what the audience is there for. Like we said, this is not really a show about hockey.

That said, it’s not really just a story about sex, either. In between those steamy scenes of athletic carnality, there’s a lot of percolating emotion happening – and thanks to the exquisitely tuned performances of Williams and Storrie, whose electric chemistry doesn’t just spark during their lovemaking scenes, but crackles through their every moment together on screen, it all comes across with elegant clarity. Shane and Ilya may want each other’s bodies, but there’s something more they want, too. There’s a tenderness in the way they look at each other, even when they’re smack-talking on the rink, and it infuses their scenes of passion, too, which arguably makes them even more blistering hot. More than that, it calls to us with its fond familiarity; it’s that heady feeling to which most of us, if we’re lucky, can relate, a sense of yearning, of needing another person so keenly that it feels like a physical sensation. In other words, it feels like being in love.

Of course there’s another layer too, which hangs over everything and ultimately fuels all the conflict in the plot: the pervasive homophobia that exists in professional sports, creating an atmosphere in which players are pressured to present nothing but a masculine, definitively “straight” image and any hint of non-heterosexual leanings is enough to destroy a career. That’s not a situation limited only to pro athletes, of course; many of us in the wider world also face the same dilemma, which is why we can all relate to this aspect of their love story, too.

Still, it would be misleading to say that “Heated Rivalry” is really about social commentary either, though it certainly brings those issues into the mix. With only half the six-episode season released so far, it’s hard to draw a certain conclusion, but what stands out most about the series so far is the way it captures the palpable joy of being in love – and yes, that includes the joy of expressing that love physically. These joys come with pain, too, when they can only be shared in secret, and it’s that obstacle that Shane and Ilya – and apparently, with the side trip of episode three, Scott and Kip as well – must find a way to overcome if they want their real yearning to be fulfilled.

For now, we’ll have to wait to find out if they can all make it. In the meantime, you know we’ll all be watching each new installment with our full attention, waiting to see what happens during Shane and Ilya’s next match-up.

And no, we’re not talking about hockey.

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Photos

PHOTOS: Team DC holiday party

LGBTQ sports organization celebrates at Trade

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Team DC holds a holiday party at Trade on Dec. 8. (Washington Blade photos by Michael Key)

The umbrella LGBTQ sports organization Team DC held a holiday party at Trade on Monday, Dec. 8. Attendees brought clothes and coats for a clothing drive.

(Washington Blade photos by Michael Key)

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