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Queery: Natalie Moss

The CAMP Rehoboth volunteer answers 20 gay questions

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Natalie Moss (Photo courtesy Natalie Moss)

Natalie Moss says moving to Rehoboth Beach, Del., was “always in my master plan.” It just ended up happening a little sooner than she originally thought. And that’s fine by her.

The D.C. native and longtime resident had spent summers at the beach for decades and had her accounting clients — she’s a CPA — established enough that she no longer needed face time with them in Washington. Shortly after Sept. 11, 2001, she made the move.

“I’m so glad I did because if I’d waited, with the housing market the way it was, I never could have afforded it,” she says. “Everything worked out just right.”

The 64-year-old lesbian spent years as a buyer for women’s clothing stores and running an ice cream shop in Rockville. Business was slow in the winter months, so she did taxes and went back to school. Now she spends a lot of her time as a “full-time volunteer” as treasurer for CAMP Rehoboth. She’s been working feverishly again this year as co-chair of its annual Sundance event.

This year’s incarnation — dubbed “Legend of the Silver Rainbow” — is this weekend and features an auction, cocktails and party over two nights (Saturday and Sunday) at the Rehoboth Beach Convention Center (229 Rehoboth Ave.). Tickets are $80 for both nights or $45 for one. As always, proceeds benefit CAMP Rehoboth Community Center. Details are at camprehoboth.com.

“We could never do it without the help of the entire team,” she says. “I’ve been helping for about 20 years and it’s amazing, we get most of the same people back each year and everybody just kind of falls into a rhythm and knows exactly what needs to be done. They just fall into place and they get it. The whole thing is totally mind blowing.”

Moss and her partner of 20 years, Evelyn, live with their dog Lucilu at the beach. She enjoys spending time at the beach and great food when she’s not volunteering.

How long have you been out and who was the hardest person to tell?

I have been out since I was around 27. I really did not have a hard time telling anyone, once I decided to come out. Being gay just became a part of me, like having brown eyes. I never actually told my parents, although my brother did. My mother passed away before we had a real discussion.

Who’s your LGBT hero?

Ellen as a public figure.  Steve Elkins and Murray Archibald for what they have achieved in founding and running CAMP Rehoboth.

What’s Washington’s best nightspot, past or present? 

Coming out in D.C. I loved going to the bars and dancing.  The best was the Grand Central, soon followed by The Other Side. I do not know too much about D.C. now since I have been in Rehoboth for the last 10 years, but in Rehoboth we always loved happy hour at Cloud 9 and the margaritas at Dos Locos.

Describe your dream wedding.

On the beach, perfect weather, tented catered delicious food and drink, surrounded by friends, great music and dancing.

What non-LGBT issue are you most passionate about?

Finding a cure for cancer.  I am a cancer survivor and know so many who are touched by the disease.

What historical outcome would you change?  

Not going to war in Iraq and Afghanistan. Our economy would be in much better shape without our dollars going to support wars.

What’s been the most memorable pop culture moment of your lifetime?

I have 65 years to choose from! Ellen coming out on TV. And disco, love disco. And Disney World.

On what do you insist?

Honesty

What was your last Facebook post or Tweet?

Invited everyone to Sundance 25th anniversary on Labor Day weekend.

If your life were a book, what would the title be?

“Wine, Women and Song”

If science discovered a way to change sexual orientation, what would you do?

Stay the way I am. But I wish they would discover the perfect diet pill.

What do you believe in beyond the physical world? 

I am spiritual enough to “thank god” for things, but not sure I believe there is one.

What’s your advice for LGBT movement leaders?

Concentrate on getting the right people representing the states in Congress. No matter who the president is, he cannot get anything done without Congress’s support. Get the bigoted homophobic people out.

What would you walk across hot coals for?

My lovely girlfriend.

What LGBT stereotype annoys you most?

Overly swishy boys and extreme tattooed dykes.

What’s your favorite LGBT movie?

The movie “The Children’s Hour” changed my life. That is when it really hit me that I was a lesbian — I was around 13 years old. We have a great film festival here in Rehoboth and we get to see many good LGBT movies every year so I have many current favorites.

What’s the most overrated social custom?

Small talk

What trophy or prize do you most covet?

I do not really covet any prize.  I just want to be known as a giving, generous and nice person.

What do you wish you’d known at 18?

I wish I had come out sooner.  I wasted almost 10 years being in the closet.

Why Rehoboth?

I could go on and on, but the most important thing to me is the gay community and the work that we do at CAMP Rehoboth. If you know about the demographics that have recently been published by the Huffington Post’s “America’s Gayest Neighborhoods,” Rehoboth is ninth most popular for gay men and fifth most popular for lesbians. We have worked very hard to make this a welcoming community where gay and straight work, live and play together.

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‘Pillion’ director on bikers, BDSM, and importance of being seen

‘We put a lot of thought and effort into how we depicted the community’

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Alexander Skarsgård and Harry Melling star in ‘Pillion.’

One of the highlights of last week’s Mid-Atlantic Leather Weekend came not on the dance floor, but in a movie theater. In a new partnership, the independent film studio A24 brought its leather-clad new film “Pillion” — not yet in wide release — to D.C. for special showings for the MAL crowd.

“Pillion,” a term for the motorcycle passenger seated behind the driver, delves into the complicated relationship between an introverted, quiet Londoner Colin (Harry Melling) who embarks on a journey finding himself while entering into a sub relationship with a new Dom named Ray (Alexander Skarsgård) he meets during Christmas. 

It’s writer-director Harry Lighton’s feature-length debut, sharing Skarsgård’s impossibly toned physique with both Colin and audiences, and offering an eye into the BDSM community by an LGBTQ director for the general public. This from a studio that also just released a movie about ping-pong starring Timothée Chalamet.  

The Washington Blade was able to catch a screening at Regal Gallery Place on Jan. 18, hosted by MAL and Gary Wasdin, executive director, Leather Archives & Museum. The Blade also had a chance to interview Lighton about the experience.

Blade: How did you get involved in this film, especially as this is your directorial debut?

Lighton: I was sent “Box Hill,” the novel on which “Pillion” is based, by Eva Yates (the head of film at the BBC). I’d spent years working on a sumo film set in Japan, and then suddenly that became impossible due to the pandemic so I was miserable. And then I read this book that I found bracing, funny, moving. All the good things. 

Blade: Are you involved with the leather community? Did you draw on any personal experiences or make connections with the community? 

Lighton: I’m involved in the wrestling scene but not the leather community. So I spent lots of time with people who are [in the community] during the writing process, and then ended up casting a bunch of them as bikers and pillions in the film. They were incredibly generous to myself, Harry, and Alex with their knowledge and experiences. We have them to thank for lending credibility to the world on screen.

Blade:  What kind of reception have you received at film festivals and with the LGBTQ community? Was it what you imagined?

Lighton: Obviously not everyone’s going to like the film — for some people it’ll be too explicit, for some not explicit enough; some people will feel seen, some won’t. But the general reaction’s been extremely positive so far. If I’m honest I thought it would divide opinion more.   

Blade: How was it working with the actors?

Lighton:  I had a lot of respect for both of them going in, and wondered if that might make me a bit too deferential, a bit too Colin-coded. But besides being extremely talented, they’re both lovely. And committed. And fun! With my shorts I always felt a bit out of my depth working with actors, but here I discovered a real love for it.  

Blade: Turning to the plot, the parents are pretty supportive, especially Colin’s dad. How did you decide to draw his parents? What does it mean to show parents with nuanced viewpoints?

Lighton:  I wanted to reverse the typical parent-child dynamic in queer film, where parents go from rejecting to accepting their queer kid. We meet Colin’s parents actively pushing him toward a gay relationship. But when the relationship he lands on doesn’t meet her definition of healthy, his mum withdraws her acceptance. I wanted to ask: Are they projecting their romantic model onto their son, or do they have a legitimate concern for his wellbeing with Ray?

Blade: How did you decide to place the setting?

Lighton: Practically, we needed somewhere within reach of London. But I liked the idea that Colin, who lives life on the periphery, grew up on the edge of the capital. One of our producers, Lee Groombridge, grew up in and around Bromley and showed me all the spots. I loved the atmosphere on the high street, the markets, and the contrast between the high street and the idyllic park. And I thought it would be a funny place for Alexander Skarsgård to have settled.

Blade: What do you hope audiences take away from the film? 

Lighton: There’s no one message. Different people will take different things from it. Personally, Colin inspires me to jump off cliffs, to push beyond my comfort zone because that’s where life begins. From Ray I get the courage to be ugly, to fly in the face of social convention if it doesn’t make you happy or it’s not built for you. 

Blade: Talk about the soundtrack — especially the Tiffany “I Think We’re Alone Now” song.

Lighton: Skarsgård’s Ray has the surface masc-ness that comes with looking like a Viking. I wanted to combine that with details that indicate he’s been a part of gay culture and “I Think We’re Alone Now” is nothing if not a camp classic.  

Blade: What does it mean to you to show the film at MAL?

Lighton: When I told the bikers from the film I was coming to MAL they practically wet themselves with excitement. We put a lot of thought and effort into how we depicted the community in the film and there’s so much variety, no two Masters or subs are the same, but seeing a theater full of men in leather laugh, cry, and clap for the film meant the world.

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Alexander Skarsgård describes ‘Pillion’ in 3 words: lube, sweat, leather

Highly anticipated film a refreshingly loving look at Dom-sub life

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Harry Melling and Alexander Skarsgård star in ‘Pillion,’ which premieres in the U.S. on Feb. 6. (Photo courtesy of A24)

Whether you’ve seen him in popular HBO series like “True Blood,” “Succession,” and “Big Little Lies,” the dynamic Swedish actor Alexander Skarsgård has that smoldering gaze that immediately draws viewers in. 

Following in the footsteps of his father Stellan, (who just won the Golden Globe for “Sentimental Value”) the Golden Globe, Emmy, and SAG winner Skarsgård continues to be an actor who is fearless in the roles he takes on. 

That courageousness is evident in Skarsgård’s latest film, the BDSM black comedy “Pillion,”which he also executive produces. He plays Ray, the handsome, hyper-dominant leader of a gay bike gang. The film was written and directed by Harry Lighton, and is based on the 2020 novel “Box Hill,” by Adam Mars-Jones. 

“This was a small film by a first time filmmaker and it wasn’t financed when I read it,”  Skarsgård told journalists at a recent awards news conference. “And I felt that, if I could help in any small way of getting it financed, I wanted to, because I thought it was such an incredible screenplay and I believe in Harry Lighton so much as a filmmaker. And it felt tonally unlike anything I’d ever read. It was such an exciting, surprising read.”

Skarsgård was blown away by the quality of the unconventional script. “When I heard BDSM relationship, biker culture, I expected something very different. I didn’t expect it to have so much sweetness and tenderness and awkwardness.”

For the sex scenes and nudity with co-star, Harry Melling — who excels in his portrayal as Ray’s submissive Colin — Skarsgård talked very early on with Lighton about how he wanted to shoot those scenes, and why they were in the film. 

“I often find sex scenes quite boring in movies because a lot of the tension is in the drama leading up to two people hooking up, or several people hooking up, as in our movie. But what I really enjoyed about these scenes — they are all pivotal moments in Colin’s journey and his development. It’s the first time he gets a blowjob. It’s the first time he has sex. It’s the first time he has an orgasm. And these are pivotal moments for him, so they mean a lot. And that made those scenes impactful and important.” 

Skarsgård was happy that Lighton’s script didn’t have gratuitous scenes that shock for the sake of just shocking. “I really appreciated that because I find that when this subculture is portrayed, it’s often dangerous and crazy and wild and something like transgressive.”

He continued: “I really love that Harry wanted it to feel real. It can be sexy and intense, but also quite loving and sweet. And you can have an orgy in the woods, rub up against a Sunday roast with the family. And that kind of feels real.”

One of the obstacles Skarsgård had to work with was Ray’s emotionally distant personality.

“Ray is so enigmatic throughout the film and you obviously never find out anything about him, his past. He doesn’t reveal much. He doesn’t expose himself. And that was a challenge to try to make the character interesting, because that could easily feel quite flat…That was something that I thought quite a lot about in pre production…there are no big dramatic shifts in his arc.”

For the film, Lighton consulted the GMBCC, the UK’s largest LGBT+ biker club, attending their annual meetup at which 80 riders were present. 

“Working with these guys was extraordinary and it brought so much texture and richness to the film to have them present,” said Skarsgård. “They were incredibly sweet and guiding with us — I can’t imagine making this movie without them. I’d go on a road trip with them anytime.”

Added Skarsgård: “To sum up ‘Pillion’ in three words: lube, sweat, and leather. I hope people will connect with Colin and his journey, and come to understand the nuance and complexity of his bond with Ray.”

This year is shaping up to be a busy one for Skarsgård. “Pillion” premieres in select cities on Feb. 6 and then moves into wide release on Feb. 20. After that for Skarsgård is a role in queer ally Charli XCX’s mockumentary, “The Moment,” which premieres at the Sundance Film Festival. HIs sci-fi comedy series,  Apple TV’s “Murderbot,” which he also executive produces, will begin filming its second season. And this weekend, he hosts “Saturday Night Live.”

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PHOTOS: SMYAL for the New Year

LGBTQ youth services organization holds annual fundraiser

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From left, SMYAL Executive Director Erin Whelan and journalist Ari Shapiro attend SMYAL for the New Year at Shakiki on Thursday, Jan. 22. (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

The LGBTQ youth services organization SMYAL held its annual fundraiser, ‘SMYAL for the New Year,’ at Shakiki (2012 9th Street, N.W.) on Thursday, Jan. 22.

(Washington Blade photos by Michael Key)

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