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Gay Mormons relish the opportunity to marry in Utah
Same-sex couples marry in state following court decision
Gay Mormons relish the opportunity to marry following the Utah court ruling. (photo from wikimedia by Joe Ravi)
For lesbian couple Terri Henry and Perry Kirby, the court ruling instituting marriage equality in Utah and granting them the ability to wed allowed them to affirm the Mormon values with which they were raised.
Although Henry, 51, and Kirby, 47, no longer identify as members of the Church of Latter-day Saints, they say their upbringing compelled them to marry at Salt Lake County on Monday.
Henry, who left the church after it filed a friend-of-the-court brief before the Supreme Court in favor of Proposition 8, said LDS teaching showed her the importance of marriage — even if it’s to someone of the same gender.
“Being raised in a very strong community that values family, that values commitment and sacrifice to one another, that was something I wanted to continue with my life,” Henry said.
For Kirby, who went on a mission for the church to the Netherlands in the mid-1980s, she wanted to marry her partner of four years because she came to learn through the Mormon Church that “family is so important.”
“I was ingrained with family being one of the most important things in life,” Kirby said. “The ability to serve another, and to sacrifice for each other is important, and having that connection makes that expectation more cemented.”
The couple initially tried to obtain a marriage license in Utah County on Friday, but they were turned away. According to media reports, that county was still denying marriage licenses as of Monday.
Although the Mormon Church is known for being a stalwart advocate for family and marriage, that ideology isn’t supposed to apply to same-sex couples. The church has been a leading opponent of same-sex marriage, donating millions to oppose its legalization.
Upon the news last week that U.S. District Judge Robert Shelby had issued a decision instituting marriage equality throughout the state, the Church of Latter-day Saints reaffirmed its position against same-sex marriage.
“The Church has been consistent in its support of traditional marriage while teaching that all people should be treated with respect,” the statement says. “This ruling by a district court will work its way through the judicial process. We continue to believe that voters in Utah did the right thing by providing clear direction in the state constitution that marriage should be between a man and a woman and we are hopeful that this view will be validated by a higher court.”
In 2008, during the battle over California’s Proposition 8, the Mormon Church took a lead role in organizing support for an amendment that stripped marriage rights for gay couples. Although the church largely sat on the sidelines over the 2012 ballot initiatives on marriage, Mormons leaders took an active role in attempting to stop the legalization of same-sex marriage in Hawaii.
Kirby said she’s sad for the church because it doesn’t extend its support of strong families to gay and lesbian couples seeking to wed.
“There’s is a church that was founded coming out of oppression and they have now turned into the bullies themselves,” Kirby said. “They, of all people, should be supportive and understanding and be able to step away from their dogma.”
That’s the same sentiment that Perry expressed with regard to the Mormon Church’s opposition to gay nuptials.
“I feel like everything that the Mormon Church has gone through, from their early ages of persecution, now I think because of the fear that they have, they really, really don’t know how to handle gay couples,” Perry said.
As Kirby noted, the decision brings the issue to the doorstep of the church headquarters in Salt Lake City.
“This shift that has happened on their home turf hopefully will speak to them that this is miraculous in a good, positive way and that we can all be OK, we can all be fine, no one’s threatened,” Kirby said. “All families have space to be together.”
Spencer Clark, executive director of Mormons for Equality, affirmed that the ruling from the district enabled gay Mormons to gain access to the institution they hold dear as part of their values.
“While Mormons have organized to advocate for the equal treatment of families across the country, it is particularly sweet to have this decision come down in the heartland of our faith,” Clark said. “We pray with confidence that it will be upheld as the inevitable appeals ensue, but take this time to express gratitude for the progress that this ruling represents – particularly for the many families who will ultimately be stronger and more secure as a result.”
What is the couple’s next plan? Kirby said it’s simple, “We’re going to take a nap.” The couple had camped out before the clerk’s office in Salt Lake City early in the morning to ensure they’d be able to receive a license Monday morning. There will be time to celebrate at a candlelight vigil later in the evening and during Christmas at home.
“We have a really great new ornament that says, ‘Our first Christmas together in 2013,” Kirby said. “While we’ve shared Christmas together, this is our first married Christmas, and that is an amazing thing.”
Poland
Polish court rules country must recognize same-sex marriages from EU states
Poland ‘must comply with European Union law’
Poland’s Supreme Administrative Court on March 20 ruled the country must recognize same-sex marriages legally performed in other European Union states.
The EU Court of Justice in Luxembourg last November ruled in favor of a same-sex couple who challenged Poland’s refusal to recognize their German marriage.
The couple, who lives in Poland, brought their case to Polish courts in 2019. The Supreme Administrative Court referred it to the EU Court of Justice.
“Today’s ruling by the Supreme Administrative Court clearly demonstrates that Poland, as a member state of the European Union, must comply with European Union law,” said Przemek Walas, advocacy manager for the Campaign Against Homophobia, a Polish LGBTQ advocacy group, in a statement. “The Supreme Administrative Court rightly upheld the interpretation of the Court in Luxembourg and indicated that the only way to implement this ruling is to allow the transcription of a foreign marriage certificate.”
“This ruling is a significant step towards marital equality, but certainly not sufficient,” added Walas.
Ireland, Portugal, Spain, France, Luxembourg, Belgium, the Netherlands, Germany, Denmark, Austria, Slovenia, Malta, Greece, Sweden, Finland, and Estonia are the EU countries that have extended full marriage rights to same-sex couples. Poland — along with Romania, Bulgaria, and Slovakia — are the four EU countries with no legal recognition of same-sex couples.
District of Columbia
Capital Stonewall Democrats 50th anniversary gala draws ‘sold out’ crowd
D.C. elected officials, mayoral candidates praise LGBTQ Democratic group
A sold-out crowd of 186 people, including D.C. elected officials and candidates running for D.C. mayor, turned out Friday, March 20, for the Capital Stonewall Democrats 50th anniversary celebration.
Among those attending the event, held at the Pepco Edison Place Gallery building next to the city’s Chinatown neighborhood, were seven D.C. Council members and four Democratic candidates running for mayor.
But at the request of Capital Stonewall Democrats leaders, the Council members, most of whom are running for re-election, and mayoral contenders did not give campaign speeches. Instead, they mingled with the crowd and focused on the accomplishments of the LGBTQ Democratic group over the past 50 years, with some presenting the group’s special “honor” awards to about a dozen prominent LGBTQ Democratic activists.
D.C. Mayor Muriel Bowser, who was initially expected to attend the event, did not attend.
The mayoral candidates attending included D.C. Council member Janeese Lewis George (D-Ward 4) and former At-Large Council member Kenyan McDuffie, an independent turned Democrat, who are considered the leading mayoral contenders in the city’s June 16 Democratic Primary. Both have strong, longtime records of support for LGBTQ rights issues.
The other two mayoral candidates attending the event were Gary Goodweather, a real estate manager, and Rini Sampath, a cybersecurity consultant. Sampath told the Washington Blade she self-identifies as queer. Both have expressed strong support on LGBTQ-related issues.
The D.C. Council members attending the event included Lewis George; Council Chair Phil Mendelson (D-At-Large); Anita Bonds (D-At-Large); Robert White (D-At-Large); Matt Frumin (D-Ward 3); Zachary Parker (D-Ward 5), the Council’s only gay member; and Charles Allen (D-Ward 6).
“Tonight we celebrate not just 50 years of history but 50 years of showing up,” Howard Garrett, Capital Stonewall Democrats immediate past president, told the gathering in opening remarks. “Showing up when it was easy, showing up when it wasn’t popular,” he said, adding, “This work only continues if we continue to show up.”
He noted that the deadline for joining the organization in time to be eligible to vote on its endorsement of candidates running in D.C.’s 2026 election was midnight that night. He urged attendees who were not members to go to two tables at the event to join.
The group’s current president, Stevie McCarty, thanked the group’s longtime members who he said played a key role in what he called its historic work in building political support for the D.C. LGBTQ community. Among those he thanked was Paul Kuntzler, 84, one of the group’s founding members in January 1976, when it was initially named the Gertrude Stein Democratic Club.
Members voted to rename the group the Capital Stonewall Democrats in 2021.
Among the LGBTQ advocates who were honored at the event was Rayceen Pendarvis, the longtime host of a D.C. LGBTQ online interview show that included interviews of candidates for public office. Pendarvis also served as emcee for the Capital Stonewall Democrats 50th anniversary event.
“Thank you everyone in this room who has done the work to make this world a better place,” Pendarvis said in opening remarks. “To all our prestigious activists in the room, all of our amazing politicians in the room who are doing the work, we love you and we honor you.”
Among the honorees in addition to Pendarvis was Malcolm Kenyatta, the Democratic National Committee’s vice chair who became the first openly LGBTQ person of color to win election to the Pennsylvania General Assembly in 2018.
Other honorees included Parker; Earl Fowlkes, founder of the International Federation of Black Prides; Vita Rangel, a transgender woman who serves as deputy director of the D.C. Mayor’s Office of Talent and Appointments; Heidi Ellis, director of the D.C. LGBTQ Budget Coalition; and Philip Pannell, longtime LGBTQ Democratic activist, Ward 8 civic leader, and longtime Capital Stonewall Democrats member.
The 50th anniversary event included an open bar and refreshments and entertainment by three drag performers.
The Washington Blade on Wednesday spoke with Max Polonsky, a queer American who lives in Israel, about the Iran war and its impact on the country.
“It’s been tiring,” Polonsky told the Blade during a telephone interview from his home in Jaffa, an ancient port city with a large Arab population that is now part of Tel Aviv.
Polonsky grew up in Cherry Hill, N.J. He lived in D.C. for eight years before he moved to Israel in March 2022.
Israel and the U.S. on Feb. 28 launched airstrikes against Iran.
One of them killed Supreme Leader Ayatollah Ali Khamenei. Iran in response launched missiles and drones against Israel and other countries that include Kuwait, Bahrain, Qatar, the United Arab Emirates, Jordan, Saudi Arabia, Azerbaijan, and Cyprus.
An Iranian missile on March 1 killed nine people and injured 27 others in Beit Shemesh, an Israeli town that is roughly 20 miles west of Jerusalem. Shrapnel from an Iranian missile that struck a hair salon in Beit Awa, a Palestinian town in the West Bank, on Wednesday killed four women and injured more than a dozen others.
An Iranian drone that hit a command center in Kuwait on March 1 killed six U.S. soldiers: Sgt. Declan Coady, Sgt. 1st Class Nicole Amor, Capt. Cody Khork, Sgt. 1st Class Noah Tietjens, Chief Warrant Officer 3 Robert Marzan, and Maj. Jeffrey O’Brien. Another American servicemember, Sgt. Benjamin Pennington, died on March 8, a week after Iranian drones and missiles targeted the Prince Sultan Air Base in Saudi Arabia.
Iranian drones and missiles have damaged hotels, airports, oil refineries, and other civilian and energy infrastructure in the United Arab Emirates, Kuwait, Qatar, and elsewhere. Israel on Wednesday attacked Iran’s South Pars natural gas field in the Persian Gulf.
The Associated Press notes roughly 20 percent of the world’s crude oil passes through the Strait of Hormuz that connects the Persian Gulf and the Gulf of Oman. Gas prices in the U.S. and around the world continue to increase because the war has essentially closed the strategic waterway to ship traffic.
The war also left hundreds of thousands of people who were traveling in the Middle East stranded.
The Blade on March 6 spoke with Mario, who had stopped in his native Lebanon while traveling from the U.S. to India for work.
Mario was about to board a flight at Rafic Hariri International Airport in Beirut, the Lebanese capital, on Feb. 28 when the war began and authorities closed the country’s airspace. Mario is now back in the U.S.
Polonsky told the Blade there were “alarms all day … sometimes multiple alarms an hour, sometimes every hour, every two hours” on Feb. 28.
Israel’s Home Front Command typically issues warnings about 10 minutes ahead of an anticipated Iranian missile attack. Sirens then sound 90 seconds before an expected strike.
People in Tel Aviv, Jerusalem, and in other cities in central Israel have 90 seconds to seek shelter if a rocket or missile is fired from Lebanon or the Gaza Strip. (Hezbollah, an Iran-backed Shia militant group in Lebanon that Israel and the U.S. have designated a terrorist organization, launched rockets at the Jewish State after Khamenei’s death. Israel, in turn, continues to carry out airstrikes against Hezbollah targets in Lebanon. Hamas militants on Oct. 7, 2023, killed upwards of 1,200 people when they launched a surprise attack against Israel from the Gaza Strip.) People who live close to Lebanon and Gaza have 15 seconds to seek shelter.
Polonsky has a safe room — known as a “mamad” — in his apartment. Polonsky also uses it as his home office and a second bedroom.
He told the Blade the alerts in recent days have become less frequent.
“We’ll get maybe a handful of alarms during the day, maybe some at night,” said Polonsky.
Israel on June 12, 2025, launched airstrikes against Iran that targeted the country’s nuclear and military facilities. The subsequent war, which lasted 12 days, prompted the cancellation of Tel Aviv’s annual Pride parade. An Iranian missile destroyed Mash Central, the city’s last gay bar.
Iran on Oct. 1, 2024, launched upwards of 200 ballistic missiles at Israel. This reporter arrived in Israel three days later to cover the first anniversary of Oct. 7 and the impact the subsequent war in the Gaza Strip had on LGBTQ Israelis and Palestinians.
‘Iranian regime was bad’
Polonsky admitted he doesn’t “know what to think” about the latest war against Iran.
“I don’t know what I think about the war,” he said. “Ultimately what happens is just not in my personal control: whatever Donald Trump, [Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin] Netanyahu, the ayatollah, whoever is running Iran are going to organize and launch attacks and reach any deals is not anything I personally have any control over, so I try to just kind of let that aspect of it go as I’m living my life.”
Polonsky told the Blade he understands “there are very serious questions about how” the war started, and Congress’s role in it.
“Those are serious and valid, important questions,” he said. “And at the same time, the Iranian regime was bad.”
Polonsky noted Iran has supported and funded Hezbollah, Hamas, Houthi rebels in Yemen, and other groups “who were attacking Israel.” Polonsky added the Iranian government has “terribly oppressed their people.”
Iran is among the handful of countries in which consensual same-sex sexual relations remain punishable by death.
Reports indicate Iranian authorities killed upwards of 30,000 people during anti-government protests that began late last year. Sources with whom the Blade spoke said LGBTQ Iranians are among those who participated in the demonstrations.
“I’m not sad to see them pressured,” said Polonsky, referring to the Iranian regime.
He also described Khamenei as “a bad guy.”
“Him not being there is better,” said Polonsky.
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