a&e features
Actress tells all in ‘Mommie’ memoir
Carol Ann on the shoot from hell and what she’d say to Faye Dunaway today
Rutanya Alda, left, with Faye Dunaway, Mara Hobel and Jeremy Scott Reinholt in ‘Mommie Dearest.’ (Photo courtesy Alda)
Editor’s note: this is part two of two of our interview with actress Rutanya Alda, author of”The Mommie Dearest Diary: Carol Ann Tells All.” Part one is here.
WASHINGTON BLADE: Although you don’t hold back at all in your book concerning working with Faye Dunaway, your “Mommie Dearest” co-star, it didn’t feel to me that you had an axe to grind. You write of several moments too where she was gracious — signing photos, posing for photos on set with your brother, when you give her the sweater you made and so on. On the other hand, the book “Mommie Dearest” always felt to me like Christina had a huge axe to grind. Do you agree?
RUTANYA ALDA: I tried to be fair in my book and I hope when Faye reads it she can respect the fact that I was fair to her. … It’s very hard to be with a person on the set who is totally ungiving to the other actor. I just held my tongue then because, as you know from the book, she never stayed for any of my close-ups. I stayed for hers to the 12th, the 13th hour and she never turned around and stayed for any of mine. It’s really not honoring the other actor and we have to honor that. We’re a team working together for the best of the scene. I always felt Faye worked for herself only and that’s the truth. There were private moments when I felt really bad for her … but those moments really didn’t last that long. It’s too bad because, you know honestly, if she had just been gracious (to the crew), they would have embraced her but instead she alienated so many people. When my brother was there as a guest and talked to her, I just got her at a good moment. If it had been a volatile moment, I wouldn’t have dared ask her. The timing just happened to have been right and she was as mellow as she could get. But we were always on pins and needles and you just knew you didn’t want to ask certain things at certain times.
BLADE: Hollywood lore is so full of stories of bitchy star behavior. In your experience, is there always fire where there’s smoke or does some of this get unfairly exaggerated in the public’s endless appetite for such tales?
ALDA: It’s gotten to be so much about me, me, me that some people think the whole world rotates around them and that’s really the worst position for an actor to put themselves in. As Bette Davis said, you’ll meet the same people on your way down as your way up. Fame is fleeting. It lasts for a while. If you have a few years’ run or a decade run, you’re lucky and I think if you can be compassionate and kind, I think that’s a great lesson to give people. I just went to a luncheon at 21 and the coat check girl, so many fairly well known people just throw their coat down and go upstairs and you know, it only takes a second or two to say, “Thank you,” and smile. She remembered me from the time before … just because I treated her like a human being. A lot of stars have come up very quickly and without the experience of being in the industry very long and I think they don’t appreciate the audience as much as they should. A smile or a hello is all you need to give sometimes. Without the audience, you have nothing. …
And the audience of “Mommie Dearest” is a great audience and I think they are disappointed that Faye has never embraced the film. If I were Faye Dunaway, I would have said, “Look, I was great in the part, I did great things. OK, maybe I had an over-the-top performance, but it worked, didn’t it?” But all these years of not talking about it and suddenly after 30 years she’s writing a book? Why? What’s in it for her? Is she doing it for the money? She’s really deprived herself of a great audience of people who love the movie and it’s a detriment to her. Look at all the joy she missed.
BLADE: So you know she is proceeding with her own book?
ALDA: Yes, she has a contract with a publishing house. A friend I know, whom I won’t name unless he names himself, he was just offered to be her ghostwriter. I think she’s gone through several. I e-mailed him and said, “Are you going to do it?” He said, “No, not even if she gives me a million dollars cash would I put myself through this.” So she’s going to find someone from whatever point of view she’s going to do it and I think it’s supposed to be out sometime next year. When she wrote to me, it said time sensitive, she in other words, she probably has a date by which she has to turn it in. Usually it’s a year and a half, then you’re supposed to deliver the book.
BLADE: On his “Mommie Dearest” commentary, John Waters said he thought the film would have worked as straight drama with just some slightly more judicious editing, for instance the scene where you see Diana’s (Scarwid as Christina) panties. Do you agree?
ALDA: (laughs) No. Don’t get me wrong, I love John Waters, I think he’s wonderful, but no, I don’t agree with that. I just ran into an editor who was working on another movie at Paramount at the time and he’d read the script, he’s gay, and he really wanted to edit the film. He loved it and saw it as a camp movie right away and said to Frank, “I want to edit it.” Frank said, “No, you’re the wrong person, we want this to be a big drama,” and I thought, “My gosh, I never knew this.” He said, “You didn’t know it was camp when you read the script?” I said, “No.” He knew right away. But you know, they edited like an hour and a half out of that movie anyway. Some of the takes were really, really long and so much was cut, especially my scenes. I don’t know if it would have changed it but I think it would have made more sense if some of it had been put back, like when my character, Carol Ann, meets Joan and is hired by Joan. I think that would have been a good addition to the story. … But I’m kind of glad the way it turned out because it’s going to continue to have this huge following for years. If it had just been a straight drama, I don’t think we’d be talking today. I think it would have just been one of these movies that was a good movie and then people would have forgotten about it. It’s given people a lot of joy through the years.
BLADE: Do you think “Mommie Dearest” ruined Faye’s career? I know that’s probably an oversimplification, but people say that and it does seem like her filmography is quite spotty after that.
ALDA: I don’t think so. She did quite a few films after it, maybe 10 or 15.
BLADE: Yes, but there was never another “Network” or “Chinatown”-caliber film after it.
ALDA: No, because what did she choose right after “Mommie Dearest”? “Supergirl”? I mean, her choice of material — she still had the power to choose her own material at that point and she was choosing stuff that wasn’t in the same league as “Network,” or, you know, “Chinatown.” I mean these are really great films, really amazing films, and she chooses “Supergirl” and other films you can’t even remember? Even the movie she likes to talk about with Marlon Brando and Johnny Depp (“Don Juan DeMarco”), well that’s not a very good movie. I mean God bless all the actors, but some movies just don’t work. Her choice of parts was really not good. Also I think when one is constantly late on a set and constantly causes production to be slowed down, sooner or later producers just don’t want to lose that money. We went a couple of million dollars over budget because of constant lateness and finally Frank Yablans pulled the plug and we just weren’t going to shoot anymore, that was it. I think today producers won’t put up with that. Show up on time. OK, once in a while, you’re five-10 minutes late, you can’t help it, but not five and six hours late. There’s too much money involved today.
BLADE: “Mommie Dearest” lives on as a camp classic and nobody takes it — at least the film — seriously. Has Joan had the last laugh?
ALDA: Oh, absolutely. Joan Crawford’s career got resurrected. All of a sudden it’s her films that are seen and viewed and she’s kind of the big star here instead of Faye. People are seeing her films. At the Film Forum downtown, there’s a retrospective of her movies next weekend and it’s just amazing. People are rediscovering her that have never seen her movies. I think Joan Crawford has become the big star instead of Faye.
BLADE: Was Joan a good actress?
ALDA: I think she was a wonderful actress for that era. She was over the top and mannered, but that was the movies of that era. I think she was marvelous in those kinds of movies. People don’t act that way today, but they’re fascinating to watch. You look at “Mildred Pierce” and “Baby Jane” and even some of the horror movies she did and she was really pretty impressive. I just saw “Baby Jane” again not long ago and I thought she and Bette were really over the top, but it works. What two actresses today could do that style in that kind of way and make it so memorable and unique? There’s nobody like them.
BLADE: Joan mistook you for Mia Farrow when you were her stand-in on “Rosemary’s Baby” where she was to have had a cameo. Did she say anything after she realized you weren’t Mia?
ALDA: No, she was just very charming. She didn’t come over and say anything afterward but I didn’t go over to her either. She was just standing there, very gracious, and there was something about her that just radiated star. She had been a star for 50 years and she knew who she was.
BLADE: But she didn’t brush you off or anything?
ALDA: No, not at all.
BLADE: You write at length about what a great actor your husband Richard Bright was and it seems like he kind of got swallowed up by the machine, so to speak, with his drug issues. With true persistence and talent, does the cream always rise in Hollywood or have you seen truly talented people fall through the cracks?
ALDA: Unfortunately I don’t think the cream always rises. When I started out 50 years ago, I knew a lot of really, really talented people, much more talented than the people that eventually became stars, I thought, so no. But it’s very difficult because a lot of really talented people are also so sensitive and their sensitivity winds up destroying them. In Richard’s case, he was a wonderful actor, really terrific, as Al Pacino acknowledges. He used to watch Richard work. (Richard was) pained by not working and that’s what really drove him to drugs — the pain from not working and expressing himself. I think so much of it is just luck. I’ve known a lot of people who do it for 10-15 years and they just emotionally can’t take it anymore, the rejection. It’s just such a crapshoot and you don’t know what direction your life takes you. … Look at someone like Phillip Seymour Hoffman. … As painful as that was, I think that opened a little more compassion in people because he was one who did achieve a lot of success. … It’s a very, very difficult business. People shove their kids in front of me and ask for advice for this teenage girl who wants to be an actress. I always say don’t do it if you have any other choice of a career. It’s gotta be in your blood so deep that you can’t do anything else. … Enjoy your life. Life is short. Being an actor is like having a virus you can’t get rid of.
BLADE: Do you wish you had left Richard sooner?
ALDA: Well I loved my husband a lot. … He was a good person, a very generous person. I just had no idea what his addiction meant and that it was so hard to break that chain. I didn’t understand that you can’t do it for them. …. This was the ‘80s and there was a lot then we didn’t fully understand. I think later when the Betty Fords and other programs, there was more understanding, but this was the early ‘80s.
BLADE: Do you think Christina wrote her book just to get back at Joan for being left out of the will?
ALDA: No, because I think the book was already more or less written before Joan died. Now, did Joan leave her out of the will because she knew she was writing a book? I don’t know, maybe. But the book was done before the will. Had it been the other way around, I might have said yeah. It was a scandalous thing to do at the time because she was the first to do it, the first to write and sort of reveal her life with a major star. Later one of the Crosby kids wrote about Bing Crosby and Bette Davis’s daughter wrote about Bette Davis, but she was the first.
BLADE: Had you read the book when it came out or did you read it when you got the part?
ALDA: I read it when I was getting ready for the film, I’d heard about but didn’t read it until I was cast.
BLADE: Why did Christina never visit the set? I would have thought she’d have been at least curious.
ALDA: She told me the script was totally different and she just wanted to let it go. She and her husband, David Koontz, had written a script that was rejected so after Frank and Frank took over, she just felt she’d sold the rights, it was going to be what it was going to be and it was out of her hands so she had not interest in visiting the set.
BLADE: Why did you choose the self-publishing route for your book?
ALDA: I’d had it with an agent for almost two years and I just felt he wasn’t getting it out to the right people. I could have tried to find another agent but I thought, OK, that could be another two years. I learned things happen rather slowly in the publishing world, at least from my experience, and I felt this was the right time to put it out. Actually Christina Crawford was one person who encouraged me to self publish because she had done it after “Mommie Dearest.” … I thought, well, at least that way we’ll get it out into the world and I won’t be waiting and waiting and waiting. I’m glad I did it because at least I beat Faye.
BLADE: You write of how painful the makeup was on the film. How long did it take your face to fully heal after the film?
ALDA: About a month. Things are better with appliances now, but at the time with all that glue on your skin, it was really sore and red and tender.
BLADE: You said you knew of the film’s camp element immediately upon seeing it, but did you realize the gay element in that then too or did that come later?
ALDA: I didn’t really know that then, no. I think my first inkling to that was when I did the Town Hall show Mother’s Day with Joan about 10 years ago with Lypsinka, who is absolutely brilliant. Then, of course, about three years ago there was a show with Hedda Lettuce. She said, “Do you have any stories from ‘Mommie Dearest,’” and I said, “Yeah, I kept a journal.” She said, “Could you come read something from it,” so I went and read a few things. Then Marc Huestis called me two years ago and asked me to come to the Castro to read from it. I said, “Do you think anybody would be interested?” He said yes, so then at the Castor there were like 1,500 beautiful gay men and honestly just this wave of love that hit me and, wow, I still feel it in my heart, this love and support that came from the audience. I’m very emotional about it still. I read from my diary and they just went wild, they were so wonderful. So they were the first real audience and I thought, oh my God, I’ve got to publish this book. It hit me that people were really interested.
BLADE: Did you read Faye’s autobiography “Looking for Gatsby”?
ALDA: No. I went to Barnes & Noble to look at it. I thumbed through it but there didn’t seem to be much on “Mommie Dearest” so I didn’t buy it.
BLADE: What would you say if you were in an elevator with her?
ALDA: Hi. But she might not answer me because there were a lot of times on the set when she’d just walk right by. I’d be prepared for that.
Rutanya Alda today. (Photo courtesy Alda)
a&e features
Your guide to D.C.’s queer New Year’s Eve parties
Ring in 2026 with drag, leather, Champagne, and more
With Christmas in the rear view mirror, we can turn our attention to ringing in a much-anticipated New Year with a slew of local LGBTQ parties. Here’s what’s on tap.
Pitchers
This spacious Adams Morgan bar is hosting the “Pitchers’ Perfect New Year’s Eve.” There will be a midnight Champagne toast, the ball drop on the big screens, and no cover, all night long. The bar doesn’t close until 4 a.m., and the kitchen will be open late (though not until close). All five floors will be open for the party, and party favors are promised.
Trade
D.C.’s hottest bar/club combo is leaning into the Shark motif with its NYE party, “Feeding Frenzy.” The party is a “glitterati-infused Naughty-cal New Year’s Even in the Shark Tank, where the boats are churning and the sharks are circling.” Trade also boasts no cover charge, with doors opening at 5 p.m. and the aforementioned Shark Tank opening at 9 p.m.. Four DJs will be spread across the two spaces; midnight hostess is played by Vagenesis and the two sea sirens sensuously calling are Anathema and Justin Williams.
Number Nine
While Trade will have two DJs as part of one party, Number Nine will host two separate parties, one on each floor. The first floor is classic Number Nine, a more casual-style event with the countdown on TVs and a Champagne midnight toast. There will be no cover and doors open at 5 p.m. Upstairs will be hosted by Capital Sapphics for its second annual NYE gathering. Tickets (about $50) include a midnight Champagne toast, curated drink menu, sapphic DJ set by Rijak, and tarot readings by Yooji.
Crush
Crush will kick off NYE with a free drag bingo at 8 p.m. for the early birds. Post-bingo, there will be a cover for the rest of the evening, featuring two DJs. The cover ($20 limited pre-sale that includes line skip until 11 p.m.; $25 at the door after 9 p.m.) includes one free N/A or Crush, a Champagne toast, and party favors (“the legal kind”). More details on Eventbrite.
Bunker
This subterranean lair is hosting a NYE party entitled “Frosted & Fur: Aspen After Dark New Year’s Eve Celebration.” Arriety from Rupaul Season 15 is set to host, with International DJ Alex Lo. Doors open at 9 p.m. and close at 3 p.m.; there is a midnight Champagne toast. Cover is $25, plus an optional $99 all-you-can-drink package.
District Eagle
This leather-focused bar is hosting “Bulge” for its NYE party. Each District Eagle floor will have its own music and vibe. Doors run from 7 p.m.-3 a.m. and cover is $15. There will be a Champagne toast at midnight, as well as drink specials during the event.
Kiki, Shakiki
Kiki and its new sister bar program Shakiki (in the old Shakers space) will have the same type of party on New Year’s Eve. Both bars open their doors at 5 p.m. and stay open until closing time. Both will offer a Champagne toast at midnight. At Kiki, DJ Vodkatrina will play; at Shakiki, it’ll be DJ Alex Love. Kiki keeps the party going on New Year’s Day, opening at 2 p.m., to celebrate Kiki’s fourth anniversary. There will be a drag show at 6 p.m. and an early 2000s dance party 4-8 p.m.
Spark
This bar and its new menu of alcoholic and twin N/A drinks will host a NYE party with music by DJ Emerald Fox. Given this menu, there will be a complimentary toast at midnight, guests can choose either sparkling wine with or without alcohol. No cover, but Spark is also offering optional wristbands at the door for $35 open bar 11 p.m.-1 a.m. (mid-shelf liquor & all NA drinks).
a&e features
Local, last-minute holiday gift ideas
Celebrate the season while supporting area businesses
The DowntownDC Holiday Market is bustling. Union Station is decked out with its annual Christmas tree. Washingtonians have wrapped their houses and apartment balconies with festive lights and holiday decorations. The holiday season is here. And with stockings to fill and empty space under the tree, Washington’s local shops and artists have plenty to offer.
Show your LGBTQ and D.C. pride with the Washington Blade’s annual holiday gift guide.
To embrace the holiday buzz: The Blanco Nwèl cocktail from Alchy Cocktails. This Caribbean eggnog is one of Alchy Cocktail’s seasonal holiday cocktails. The flavor profile is similar to coquito, a traditional Puerto Rican Christmas drink with a coconut base. As a queer and Caribbean-owned business, Alchy Cocktails has been based out of Washington since 2021. Blanco Nwèl is available in both cocktail ($24) and mocktail ($12) online and at a variety of holiday markets, including the Tingey Plaza Holiday Market, the Flea Market at Eastern Market, Union Station’s Main Hall Holiday Market, and more. ($24)
A spicy bite: Gordy’s Cajun Okra from Salt and Sundry. These spicy, tangy pickles pull on Southern Cajun-style flavors, packing a punch with paprika, cayenne, and more. Gordy’s is an LGBTQ-owned and Washington-based brand, making this gift an opportunity to support a local LGBTQ business straight from the jar. This pantry staple is available on Salt & Sundry’s website and at its locations in Union Market, Logan Circle, and its Georgetown holiday pop-up store. ($14)
To celebrate Washington pride: The DC Landmark Tote Bag from The Neighborgoods. Native Washingtonians, visitors, friends and family alike will find something to love about this Washington-themed tote bag. Food trucks, the 9:30 Club, the Metro logo and pandas from the National Zoo are just some of the city’s landmarks depicted across the tote in a red, white, and blue color palette. The tote is a part of the DC Landmarks collection, which donates 10 percent of its sales to the American Civil Liberties Union. The Neighborgoods itself is a local, woman-owned business built out of a passion for screen-printing in 2013. The 100 percent cotton canvas tote is for sale online or at the DowntownDC Holiday Market. ($22)
To give friends and family their flowers: The Flowers Bandana from All Very Goods. This 100 percent cotton bandana was designed in Washington and hand printed in India. Its uniqueness comes in being covered with the faces of Black women, representing a “love letter to all women but especially Black women,” according to All Very Goods. The Black woman-owned and operated business, based out of Northwest Washington, has a mission to celebrate diversity and representation through its products. The bandana intends to give Black women their “flowers.” The Flowers bandana is available for purchase online. ($24)
To unlock culinary creativity: The Curious Chef Gift Collection from Each Peach Market. This customizable collection of kitchen oddities — ranging from tinned fish to chili oil — is a quirky gift for the most inventive chefs. The collection is available in a Standard Santa, Extra Goodies and Super Holiday Size for up to $165. The Washington-based market, founded in 2013, permits customers to make the collection special by specifying what unique ingredients are packaged, including products made by local or LGBTQ brands. Each Peach Market offers assembly and pick up in-person at its Mount Pleasant shop and also offers local delivery and nationwide shipping via its website. ($85)
To give a touch of sweetness: The DC Landmark Chocolate Covered Oreo Holiday Cookies from Capital Candy Jar. Wrapped in a festive red bow, this box of nine cookies embraces love for Washington and the holiday season in one. Among the dark and milk chocolate covered cookies are images of the U.S. Capitol, the White House, the Lincoln Memorial, the Jefferson Memorial and festive hollies. The treat, packaged in a Hill East facility just a few blocks from the Capitol, is available for purchase online and at the DowntownDC Holiday Market. ($23.95)
To celebrate queer gaming: Thirsty Sword Lesbians from Labyrinth Games & Puzzles. This roleplaying game embraces lesbian culture by unlocking a world of swords, romance, and battle. Ideal for group settings, the book presents a system of world building and character identities that are best brought to life by creative minds. Labyrinth, which has been a local Washington business for more than 15 years, celebrates non-digital fun through games and puzzles that connect the community. This gift is offered online and at Labyrinth’s Capitol Hill location. ($29.99)
To make a bold statement: The “Resist” T-shirt from Propper Topper. This locally screen-printed black tee features the Washington flag designed within a raised fist, symbolizing both Washington pride, and political resistance. The shirt is made exclusively by Propper Topper, a local Washington business that evolved from a hat shop to a gift store since opening in 1990. The tri-blend unisex shirt is available both for pickup at Propper Topper’s Cathedral Heights location and shipping via the online site. ($32)
To keep it c(g)lassy: The Glass Ball earrings from Blue Moon Aquarius. Gifting can rarely go wrong when it comes to a new pair of earrings. The unique statement earrings — made of polymer clay, glass, and 18k gold plating over surgical steel — are hand cut, sanded and assembled in Washington, meaning each set is unique. Blue Moon Aquarius, a local brand, is known for its small batch jewelry and home decor designed with clay materials. Available in oxblood, hunter green, lavender, and bluestone color palettes, these earrings are available for purchase on Blue Moon Aquarius’ website and at the DowntownDC Holiday Market. ($48)
To elevate a holiday tea or charcuterie party: The Honey Flight: Tea Lover’s Selection from BannerBee. This local honey company presents the ideal gift to make cozying up with a cup of tea slightly more special. The Honey Flight contains three types of raw wildflower honey infused with fair trade Ugandan vanilla bean, chai spices, and locally sourced lemon thyme herb. The gift is also an opportunity to uplift a family company based in the Mid-Atlantic that offers all-natural, sustainable products. The flight is available online, at the DowntownDC Holiday Market or at the Arlington Courthouse and Dupont Farmers’ Markets. ($36)
For Baltimore shoppers: If you’re in Charm City, don’t miss Balston Mercantile, opened by a gay couple in June. Their gorgeous shop in the Hampden neighborhood offers an array of unique, upscale finds, from barware and artwork to cookbooks and home decor and more. (849 W. 36th St.)
a&e features
Have yourself a merry John Waters Christmas
Annual holiday show returns to Alexandria and Baltimore
When it comes to iconic Christmas scenes in movies, none can top the tree-toppling tantrum thrown by cha-cha heels-deprived Dawn Davenport in John Waters’s fifth full-length feature “Female Trouble” from 1974. Therefore, it’s not surprising that Waters continues to make art out of Christmas, performing his spoken word Christmas tour in cities across the country. Waters has even more reason to celebrate with the release of his new red vinyl 7” single, a cover of Little Cindy’s “Happy Birthday Jesus (A Child’s Prayer)” on the A-side, and “A Pig Latin Visit From St. Nicholas” on the B-side. If you’re still looking for unique Christmas gifts, consider this record. As always, John was kind enough to make time for an interview in advance of his tour dates.
BLADE: John, in preparation for this interview with you, I went back and listened to Little Cindy’s original rendition of “Happy Birthday Jesus (A Child’s Prayer)” on your “A John Waters Christmas” CD.
JOHN WATERS: One thing I did, if you notice, I make the same stumble in my recording that she did in the original.
BLADE: It sounded to me like she got choked up.
WATERS: No, I think she just stumbles over a word, so I stumbled over the same word. It’s appropriation, insanely.
BLADE: Is this a song you first became aware of in your youth or when you were an adult?
WATERS: When I was doing the Christmas album, I had this friend named Larry Benicewicz. He was kind of my idea man with music. He knew every single old record. I would say to him, “Weird Christmas songs,” when we were doing a soundtrack, or a song about bears, or a song about this, and he would give me all these tapes. It was one of the ones he played for me. A lot of the songs I put in my movies and on my records, I did know as a kid. I did not know this one, but I immediately embraced it. I don’t think it’s campy. I think it really is spiritual in a weird way. My doing it makes it a novelty record. I am really for novelty records, and there aren’t any anymore. Why was there not a COVID novelty record? That’s insane. The dance “The Bug” that’s on the “Hairspray” soundtrack would be perfect for COVID.
BLADE: The thing that struck me was that for a Christmas song in the voice of a child, a kind of death pall hangs over it, with lines like, “If I was good you’d let me live with you” and “they nailed you to the cross, they wanted you to die.”
WATERS: All of it! When I see children at midnight mass kneeling in front of a nude man nailed to a cross, I feel like I’m at The Eagle! It is S&M, it’s creepy. I took the same cover (photo) from her record to parody and put my face on it. The same thing I did with The Singing Dogs last year when I covered (their version of) “Jingle Bells.” I’m really into novelty records. I love them and I’m trying to bring them back. I don’t expect anybody to ever play these records. Even The Singing Dogs one said on it, “Please do not play this record” [laughs]. And the flipside, the Pig Latin version, is almost impossible to listen to.
BLADE: I’m so glad you mentioned that. “A Pig Latin Visit From St. Nicholas” reminded me of the lost art of speaking in Pig Latin. I also recall watching the PBS series “Zoom” as an adolescent and learning to speak “ubbi dubbi,” a distant relative of Pig Latin. Do you think that the time is right for a Pig Latin or ubbi dubbi revival?
WATERS: Here’s the thing, I never could pick up any language, except Pig Latin. I’ve been in every foreign country. Foreign countries have given me money to learn to speak the language. I can never do it! But Pig Latin…my parents and other parents in the ‘50s spoke Pig Latin so kids couldn’t understand what they were saying. Then my mother taught it to me, and I used it. The hardest take to shoot in “Pink Flamingos” was not eating the dog shit. It was when the cast skipped, in one take, saying “E-way, are-yay e-they ilthiest-fay eople-pay in-hay e-they ole-hay ide-way orld-way.” We’re the filthiest people in the whole wide world in Pig Latin. We had to do so many takes so they could do it once without screwing it up. In “Polyester,” Edith (Massey) answers the phone, “ello-hay.” I did a photo piece where it was all subtitled in Pig Latin. Like “osebud-Ray” (from “Citizen Kane”) or in “Streetcar,” “ella-Stay!” [Laughs] All the iconic dialogue translated into Pig Latin. My assistant who helped me do it, had never heard of Pig Latin. She really got good at it because she lived in many foreign countries and can pick up languages. But it’s not that easy to do it correctly and read it. Your computer will translate into Pig Latin.
BLADE: AI understands Pig Latin?
WATERS: I guess that’s AI. It wasn’t 100% right, but it was close. I can speak it if I look at it, but just do a bit at a time. It was a challenge that no one would possibly care about or want to do.
BLADE: I think you pulled it off very well.
WATERS: If you want people to leave on Christmas morning, you put it on. That’s how you get your guests to leave. It’s time to go.
BLADE: Ood-gay i-bay! How did your relationship with record label Sub Pop, which released 2021, 2022, 2024, and new 2025 holiday singles, come about?
WATERS: I believe the first thing I did for them was “Prayer to Pasolini.” They came to me through Ian Brennan. He’s won a couple Grammys for World Music, but he is also is one of my agents who does the Christmas tour and a lot of my shows, anything with music. He helped me arrange each one of the songs. He had a relationship with Sub Pop. It was perfect. My friends in Baltimore, (the band) Beach House, have had huge success.
BLADE: That’s right, they’re on Sub Pop!
WATERS: Yes! I’m happy to be on it. I’ve even been to the warehouse and posed for pictures like Jackie Suzanne used to do.
BLADE: Is there any chance that “A John Waters Christmas” might be reissued on vinyl by Sub Pop?
WATERS: No. It’s such a nightmare to get the rights and to renew them. You have to find the publisher and the writer, and they usually hate each other. It doesn’t matter if it’s obscure or famous, it’s hard to get. You have to make the deal. The singer doesn’t get anything unless they play it on the radio. It would be so complicated legally, and there would be such a [laughs] tiny audience for it. I hope it will come out again. The same thing with the one for Valentine’s Day. I had two of them that did quite well when they came out; “A Date With John Waters and “A John Waters Christmas.” The “John Waters Christmas” album is still the soundtrack that plays whenever I’m doing my spoken word Christmas show as people are entering the theater.
BLADE: Aside from your annual Christmas show tour, what else do you do for the holidays now, and are there any traditions that you’ve carried over from your family?
WATERS: Certainly! I have two sisters, my brother’s widow, and me, so there are four and we take turns each year to have the Christmas dinner. Mine was last year. An entire sit-down dinner. Mom’s China, the silverware, the entire full dinner. It’s pretty traditional. I don’t have a Christmas tree, but I do decorate the electric chair from “Female Trouble.” That is a tradition in my family. We do have Christmas decorations, but they’re usually weird ones that fans sent me. I have one with Divine knocking over the Christmas tree, and the Christmas tree lights up, all sorts of amazing things. There is definitely a tradition here that might be a little altered, but it is definitely a tradition. I used to have a giant party every year, but COVID ended that. I still wouldn’t want 200 people in my house breathing right now.
BLADE: I was looking at your tour schedule and wondered if there are any new cities in which you’ve never performed the John Waters Christmas show that have been added to this year’s schedule?
WATERS: I don’t think there’s a city in America in which I haven’t done one show! The only places I haven’t been to are Hawaii and Alaska. I could do it there, but it’s too long on a tour. I can’t think of a city I haven’t played in in America over the last 50 years. The Christmas show is completely different every year. It doesn’t matter if you saw it last year.
Out actor talks lead role in ‘Fiddler on the Roof’
This gay author sees dead people
Holiday week brings setbacks for Trump-Vance trans agenda
Your guide to D.C.’s queer New Year’s Eve parties
Long-awaited ‘Pillion’ surpasses the sexy buzz
Reasons to be optimistic about 2026
Long-awaited ‘Pillion’ surpasses the sexy buzz
Trump’s ‘American people derangement syndrome’
Using movement to boost your mental health during holidays
