Living

‘This is my family’

Partners of 39 years turn new page after surviving homelessness, alcoholism

Published

14 years ago

February 10, 2011

Terry Ward, 66, seated, and Bob Cyrus, 60, are celebrating this Valentine’s Day in a new home after an adventurous 39 years together. (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

Terry Ward, 66, and Bob Cyrus, 60, have been a couple for 39 years and like a comedy team from old-style vaudeville, each is a straight man to the other, setting each other up for one-liners, often in politically incorrect terms.

They nudge each other with constant ribbing, affectionately but sometimes there’s also a dab of vinegar with the sugar, as when Ward calls Cyrus “a whore,” even as they each tumble into well-practiced personality pratfalls.

Each can finish the other’s sentences and their patter can be hard to follow, unless you hear the inner nuance, which always seems to turn on being each other’s eternal best friend.

Until two weeks ago, they were homeless and living in a shelter. And for years they were hopelessly alcoholic, yet still they clung to each other for love and support.

One is largely deaf, the other is blind in one eye. They are real characters, scarred by life’s twists and turns yet they’re still able to find the fun in their life together even if they have to create it themselves. Ward, blind in his right eye since a stroke last year, says, “We’re never bored — he can’t hear and I’m blind and I’ll hide his hearing aid and he’ll hide my teeth.”

And on April 1 — yes, on April Fools, for they seem to delight in having fun with every part of life — they plan to be married. But that’s only if, says Ward, Cyrus will spring for an engagement ring.

They live in a rent-subsidized apartment in Washington obtained for them by a non-profit social service agency, the U.S. Veterans Initiative (USVI), when it was discovered one of them had been a veteran — Ward served two years in the U.S. Navy mostly on a destroyer in the Mediterranean — and they had been homeless, but had shaken off alcohol and now were ready to start their lives anew.

Speaking of Emily Button, who acts as their case worker in her capacity as the Initiative’s housing director, Ward says, “She’s more than a sweetheart, she’s a jewel.”

Button stepped in and pushed through all the paperwork to make sure in late January that Ward and Cyrus could move out of Clean and Sober, a shelter and alcohol rehabilitation center located at 2nd and E Streets, N.W., where Ward had been living for 22 months and Cyrus for 17 months, and into their own, neat-as-a-pin one-bedroom apartment where their lives are now all about starting over.

Ward can reminisce with a touch of sarcasm about how they met, in 1972, when Cyrus was only 21, and fresh out of Huntington, W.Va. He’d left there after finishing high school and came to Washington to take a clerk’s job in a city post office. Cyrus was already an alcoholic — he says he began to drink, mostly screwdrivers, as young as 13, at about the time he also realized he was gay. By 15 he knew he was hooked on booze because, he says, “It made me feel good.” By 21, he says the pattern was fixed in place — binge drinking followed by frequent blackouts and memory loss.

Ward remembers the rainy Friday night he met Cyrus. Ward was coming home from his job at the Market Inn restaurant. He stopped the cab he was in when he saw Cyrus incoherent and sprawled on his bicycle tilted into a gutter near 9th and Pennsylvania Avenue where water from a rainstorm was coursing all around him. Out of concern, Ward went to offer help, but Cyrus responded only to say, “Fuck you.”

“I was mean and nasty then,” Cyrus says. He admits he sometimes still is. Ward agrees: “He’s selfish because he was the only boy in the family.”

A year later they met again when both were working at the Channel Inn restaurant. They’d remembered their earlier meeting. Cyrus says they didn’t get along. Ward was out but says, “Cyrus wouldn’t admit for years that he was a homosexual,” even though he was having sex in West Virginia when he was 13.

Born in Portsmouth, Va., in 1944, Ward never saw his mother, because she “walked out of the hospital,” he says, the day he and his twin sister were born, and she never came back. Raised by an aunt he called mom he remembers being 8 and wearing his sister’s Brownie uniform to sell cookies door to door. He’d come home and be Jane in their childhood recreations of the “Tarzan” adventures they saw at the movies.

Sexually, the two always led different lives. They were sexually adventurous and are candid with tales from their glory days.

Somehow, though, the two stuck together through many ups and maybe many more downs. Despite their hedonism and alcohol abuse, they escaped HIV.

“Almost all our friends from then are dead now,” Cyrus says.

So what made it last?

“We’re the best of friends,” Ward says. “This is family and I love him. Can’t you love someone without sex? It’s probably why we’re still together because we don’t have sex. He does his thing and I do mine.”

The couple says they were never each other’s types sexually so they never consummated their relationship. It’s common, experts say, for long-term couples to no longer have sex after many years together but is it unusual for couples to have never had sex?

“I would kind of think so myself, but they may be affectionate in other ways,” says Michael Radkowsky, a local gay psychologist who counsels gay couples. He mentions singer Margaret Whiting who married gay porn star Jack Wrangler and had a non-sexual union.

“They just said they were great companions in every other way and wanted to spend their lives together,” Radkowsky says. “So it does happen and there’s no reason to pathologize it. If they’re happy, they’re happy and it works for them.”

As for their alcoholism, Ward had more control over the addiction, always able to keep a job, while Cyrus frequently would lose his. They hit bottom, respectively, especially when they fell on hard times after Ward sold his home and then gave the money to a son he’d fathered during a two-year marriage in the mid-‘60s. It became increasingly obvious that alcohol was a problem — they sometimes spent as much as $300 a week on liquor and bought it by the case.

Now Ward says, “I’m 66 and I’ve got a new life ahead of me,” saying that they have each dropped all their old drinking friends who typically would mostly spend their time together drinking.

“When you sober up, you learn to love yourself,” Ward says.

They continue to help each other. Cyrus, who was hearing impaired at birth and heard at “about 30 percent” now, relies on his partner’s ears. In addition to his vision problems, Ward uses a cane since a fall several years ago.

“Life itself, you just have to work at it,” Ward says. He looks over fondly at Cyrus and says, “At least with this one, I know what I’ve got, he’s my caretaker now – I’ve always been his caretaker, and now it’s my turn.”

“I love him from the bottom of my heart,” Ward says. “This is my family.”

Real Estate

Pride, patriotism, and prosperity

Real estate plays role in honoring servicemembers’ legacy

Published

4 hours ago

May 25, 2025

Valerie Blake

(Photo by 1photo/Bigstock)

As the calendar turns to late May and early June, several powerful movements and celebrations converge in a profound and colorful tapestry of remembrance, Pride, and progress.

Memorial Day in the United States honors the sacrifices of military personnel who gave their lives in service. Simultaneously, WorldPride and Black Pride commemorate both the historical struggles and enduring strength of LGBTQ+ communities worldwide.

Though these observances may seem distinct, they share powerful commonalities — solemnity, resilience, and the pursuit of equity. When viewed through the lens of real estate and community development, their intersection reveals the critical importance of space, ownership, and inclusion.

Memorial Day is more than a barbecue, a long weekend, or the unofficial start of summer. It is a solemn remembrance of those who laid down their lives for the ideals of freedom and democracy. Many of these fallen heroes came from marginalized backgrounds, including a rainbow of LGBTQ+ Americans who served valiantly, often without recognition or equal rights at home.

LGBTQ+ service members have fought in silence for decades, only gaining the right to serve openly in recent years and then having that opportunity for some individuals snatched back simply because of who they are. Memorial Day is a chance not only to honor their service but also as a reminder of the injustices they endured.

Real estate plays a role in their legacy. For decades, returning veterans used the GI Bill to buy homes and build generational wealth; however, discriminatory practices like redlining and restrictive covenants denied Black veterans the same opportunities, contributing to the racial wealth gap that persists today. Similarly, LGBTQ+ veterans and their partners often faced housing discrimination with little legal recourse. These systemic barriers underscore how access to safe and equitable housing is part of the fight for justice.

Black Pride events emerged in response to racism within the broader LGBTQ+ movement, asserting that Black queer lives matter and deserve visibility. Held in cities across the globe, Black Pride is not just a festival — it is a political and cultural declaration. It amplifies voices at the intersection of race and sexuality, advocating for people who are disproportionately impacted by housing insecurity and gentrification.

Many urban neighborhoods that were once cultural havens for queer communities are being transformed by rising rents and redevelopment. While revitalization can bring economic opportunity, it must be done equitably, with safeguards in place to ensure that long-standing residents are not displaced. Real estate, in this context, becomes a tool for resistance and renewal.

WorldPride, a global event celebrating LGBTQ+ rights and visibility, is hosted by a different city every few years. It draws millions of participants, shines an international spotlight on LGBTQ+ issues, and highlights disparities in rights and protections worldwide. In countries where queer identities are criminalized, safe housing can be a matter of life and death.

Even in more progressive regions, LGBTQ+ individuals often face subtle yet persistent discrimination from landlords, real estate agents, and lending institutions. In the real estate industry, advocacy groups are working to increase representation, offer training, define ethical responsibilities, and advocate for inclusive policies to ensure housing is truly accessible to all.

The convergence of WorldPride with Memorial Day and Black Pride invites deeper reflection: What kind of world are we building in memory of those who came before? How can we ensure that freedom, the very principle so many fought and died for, includes the right to live openly and securely, regardless of race, gender, or sexuality?

The real estate industry has a unique role in shaping the future. From urban planning to homeownership policy, to income-based downpayment grants, it directly influences who has access to stability and opportunity.

Developers, policymakers, and community leaders must work together to address housing disparities. This includes funding affordable housing, protecting tenants from discrimination, and investing in communities that have been historically excluded. It also means respecting cultural legacies and ensuring that neighborhoods reflect the diversity of the people who live in them.

Memorial Day reminds us of the cost of freedom. International Pride events remind us that the fight for freedom is ongoing. As we honor the fallen, let us also honor the living – those who continue to fight for their right to exist, to love, and to call a place home. Whether waving a flag at a Pride parade, laying a wreath at a soldier’s grave, or signing a first-time homebuyer agreement, these moments are connected by the enduring belief that everyone deserves dignity, safety, and a place to belong.

Valerie M. Blake is a licensed Associate Broker in DC, MD & VA with RLAH @properties. Call or text her at (202) 246-8602, email her at DCHomeQuest.com, or follow her on Facebook at TheRealst8ofAffairs.

Real Estate

Tips for buying a house in Rehoboth Beach

And why it’s a great fit for the LGBTQ community

Published

7 days ago

May 18, 2025

Justin Noble

Rehoboth Beach, Del. (Washington Blade photo by Daniel Truitt)

If you’ve ever dreamed of owning a charming beach house where flip-flops are considered formalwear and sunsets are your daily entertainment, Rehoboth Beach, Del., might just be your dream come true. It’s not just a beautiful coastal town—it’s also a long celebrated safe haven and vibrant hub for the LGBTQ community. Let’s dive into why Rehoboth Beach is a fabulous choice and how to make a savvy beach house purchase.

Why Rehoboth Is a Vibe (especially for the LGBTQ community)

1. A Welcoming, Inclusive Community

Rehoboth Beach has been lovingly nicknamed the “Nation’s Summer Capital,” and it’s not just because of its proximity to D.C. For decades, Rehoboth has built a reputation as a warm, inclusive, and LGBTQ-friendly destination. From gay-owned businesses to LGBTQ events and nightlife, this is a town where you can truly be yourself.

2. Packed Social Calendar

Poodle Beach, the LGBTQ beach hangout just south of the boardwalk, is always buzzing in the summer. Events like Rehoboth Beach Bear Weekend, Women’s FEST, and CAMP Rehoboth’s myriad of social and wellness events bring people together all year round. That’s right—you’ll never be bored here unless you want to be.

3. Small Town Charm Meets Big City Culture

You get art galleries, drag brunches, live theater, eclectic cuisine, and adorable boutiques—basically everything your soul craves—without the chaos and crowds of major cities. It’s quaint but never boring. Think: Key West vibes with a Delaware zip code.

Tips for Buying Your Dream Beach House

1. Know Your Budget and Think Long Term. Beachfront and near-beach properties come at a premium. Expect to pay a bit more for proximity to the sand and ocean views.

2. Choose Your Neighborhood Wisely. Do you want to be walking distance from the action on the boardwalk? Or do you prefer something more secluded in areas like North Shores or Henlopen Acres?

3. Rental Potential. If you’re not living there full time, your beach house could work overtime as a vacation rental. Rehoboth Beach has a healthy short-term rental market, especially in peak summer. Often times LGBTQ travelers actively seek inclusive, affirming places to stay.

4. Weather the Weather. Like all coastal areas, Rehoboth comes with a side of salt air and occasional storms. Invest in a good home inspection, especially for older homes, and be prepared for the maintenance that comes with beachfront living (yes, that includes sand everywhere).

5. Work With a Local Real Estate Agent. Look for an agent who knows Rehoboth inside and out and understands the unique needs of LGBTQ buyers. This isn’t just a house — it’s your happy place. You want someone who sees that and says, “Let’s find your sanctuary.”

Buying a beach house in Rehoboth Beach isn’t just about real estate — it’s about finding a space that reflects your lifestyle, values, and need for both community and calm. Whether it becomes your full-time home, your weekend escape, or your Airbnb side hustle, Rehoboth welcomes you with open arms (and maybe a mimosa).

Want personalized tips on navigating the Rehoboth Beach real estate market? Let’s chat! I’ll bring the listings if you bring the sunscreen.

Justin Noble is a Realtor with The Burns & Noble Group with Sotheby’s International Realty, licensed in D.C., Maryland, and Delaware. Reach him at [email protected] or 202-234-3344.

Real Estate

Impact of federal gov’t RIF on D.C.’s rental market

A seismic economic change for local property owners

Published

2 weeks ago

May 11, 2025

Scott Bloom

President Trump’s plan to cut the federal workforce presents challenges to local landlords. (Washington Blade file photo by Michael Key)

In a move that could redefine the federal government workforce and reshape the economic fabric of Washington, D.C., President Donald Trump has announced his intentions to significantly reduce federal government spending as well as the number of people the federal government employs.

Calling the federal bureaucracy “bloated” and “out of control,” Trump has repeatedly expressed his desire to cut thousands of federal jobs. While these cuts align with his long-standing push to “drain the swamp,” they come with potential and real collateral damage, especially for landlords in the D.C. area who have relied on government employees as some of their most reliable and long-term tenants.

The potential reduction of thousands of jobs in a city built around government work is not just a political shift—it’s a seismic economic change for the city government as well as for local property owners who have invested in the predictability of a near-constant demand for workers in the federal government agencies, government contractors and the economic ecosystem they sustain.

For landlords, government workers have represented ideal tenants: strong income, long-term leases, and responsible rental histories. Now, that foundation is being shaken in a battle by the Administration against a workforce which is the backbone of the Washington area’s overall economy, and especially its rental market.

With uncertainty looming, landlords are left in a difficult position. If widespread layoffs come to fruition, rental vacancies could spike, rental prices would drop, and previously secure investment properties might become financial liabilities. The sudden shift forces landlords to consider their next moves: how to support tenants facing job losses, how to adapt to a changing market, and how to ensure their own financial stability amid the uncertainty.

For D.C. landlords, this isn’t just about policy shifts or budget cuts, it’s about economic livelihood. The challenge ahead isn’t about just reacting to change, but proactively preparing for it, ensuring they can weather the storm of political maneuvering.

Potential Consequences for D.C. Landlords

1. Increased Risk of Non-Payment of Rent
- Job losses may lead to late or missed rent payments
- As affected tenants struggle financially, they may ask to break their lease to live elsewhere or even move out of the region
- Eviction lawsuits may rise, leading to a long and expensive process for landlords, all while not being able to rent their property to paying tenants.

2. Higher Vacancy Rates

If many government employees leave the D.C. region in search of work elsewhere, the rental demand could decline significantly
Rental properties may sit empty longer, requiring landlords to lower rents to attract new tenants and creating even more financial loss

3. More Competition from Other Landlords

As many more units are vacant on the market, all competing for the same pool of potential tenants, older and smaller rentals, and those located further out from the core of the city will all struggle to find quality renters.
Landlords will need to offer other ways to attract and retain tenants, such as incentives, which could quickly overwhelm the finances of smaller landlords who cannot keep up.

Proactive Strategies for Landlords

To mitigate risks and ensure future rental success, landlords should consider these defensive measures:

1. Strengthen Tenant Relationships and Communication

Encourage tenants to communicate if they anticipate financial hardship due to job loss.
Work out temporary payment plans or partial payments to prevent full non-payment or eviction.
Provide guidance on rental assistance programs available in D.C.

2. Offer Flexible Lease Terms

Consider shorter-term leases than a full 12-month term to accommodate the needs of tenants who may be uncertain about their long-term employment status.
Offer lease renewals at the same rent amount to keep stable tenants and avoid turnover

3. Diversify Tenant Base

If a large portion of tenants are government workers, a landlord may want to market to a broader audience or professionals in private industries.
Advertise on platforms that cater to diverse tenant pools, including students and international workers.

4. Adjust Screening Criteria Thoughtfully

While it’s important to ensure financial stability, consider creditworthiness, assets, and rental history rather than just employment status.
Consider alternative income sources, like family members assisting, part-time work or freelance gigs.

5. Protect Cash Flow with Rent Guarantee Options

Explore rental insurance policies or rent guarantee services to cover losses in case of non-payment.
Consider co-signers or guarantors on leases for new tenants in vulnerable industries, just in case.

6. Adjust Rental Pricing to Stay Competitive

Monitor the D.C. rental market and adjust pricing accordingly to attract new tenants.
Consider offering move-in incentives as a way to stand out. Be creative! Sometimes things you can offer are different and may catch someone’s eye

Long-Term Planning for Rental Success

Build reserves to cover expenses during potential vacancies or rent shortfalls.
Invest in property upgrades to make rentals more attractive to a broader audience, such as young professionals or remote workers.
Consider diversifying property holdings to include areas that are less reliant on government employment.

By taking proactive steps, landlords can safeguard their investments while supporting tenants through economic uncertainty, ultimately leading to a more stable and resilient rental business.

Scott Bloom is owner and senior property manager at Columbia Property Management. For more information, visit ColumbiaPM.com.