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Castro catastrophe

‘We Were Here’ offers first-hand accounts of AIDS horrors in San Francisco

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A vintage still from San Francisco's Castro neighborhood used in 'We Were Here.' (Photo courtesy of Film Collaborative)

There were angels in San Francisco.

But unlike in Tony Kushner’s two-part Pulitzer-Prize-winning play about AIDS — “Angels in America,” set in New York City in the mid-1980s — these angels were real people.

In the Kushner play, an angel descends to earth, as his fictional characters struggled with this unsettling new disease, the “gay cancer” as it was being called, an epidemic that seemed to spring from nowhere and then spread like a wicked wildfire.

In San Francisco it also struck like a bolt from the blue and purple unknown, its stigmata the purple-ish and dark reddish-blue marks of skin lesions — those herpes-like, cancerous tumors of Kaposi’s sarcoma — that began to dot faces and limbs and torsos with an ugliness that was unmistakable and the cause unknown. Right-wing televangelist Jerry Falwell called the lesions, which were seen as the defining illnesses of AIDS in the 1980s, to be the signs of Satan’s claim over sins of the flesh and God’s punishment for those same-sex sins, demons of a heaven-sent plague upon homosexuality.

“For a group of gay men, so into physical appearance, this was a disease whose very physical manifestations were horrifying,” says Daniel, one of the five people profiled in a new and deeply affecting documentary film, “We Were Here,” a gut-punch of a feature-length film by producer-director David Weissman, about the coming of AIDS to the Bay Area, and the human havoc it wrought.

This film is truly a moving picture. Co-presented with Reel Affirmations, as part of the 25th Annual FilmFest D.C. (now through April 17), it is playing tonight and Saturday night at the Regal Cinemas Gallery Place, on 7th Street, N.W., near Verizon Center. Each showing is at 6:30 p.m. followed by town meetings to discuss the film and its ramifications today in D.C. where the disease still flourishes.

Each one of the five in “We Were Here” is a witness, a survivor, and haunted in some indelible way by what they saw. Four of them are gay men (Daniel, Ed, Guy and Paul), who each contracted HIV yet somehow survived. One is a straight woman (Eileen) who ministered to the patients, as a nurse who cared about them as human beings, not clinical case studies.

Like Eileen, who appears to be a modern-day Florence Nightingale, each one is an angel, each able to say, “we were here.” Each is a survivor of the mysterious epidemic that moved through San Francisco in the 1980s with all the ferocity of an avenging angel, a grim reaper carrying off those who had sown such pleasure, but now so many of them faced death as a result.

Each is an eyewitness. At the skillful hand of filmmaker Weissman, who also earlier produced “The Cockettes,” a documentary about the campier side of the Bay Area, the testimony of the five is heartfelt and eloquent, bringing the kind of emotion that only those who experienced it first hand can bring.

Daniel’s voice is such an example. His voice is riveting, his gaze impossible to turn away from. He’s a modern-day Ancient Mariner come to tell us of how wrong things can get when bad things happen to good people.

He recalls that tragic time when no one could comprehend what was happening, as the virus burned its way through the carefree, almost heedless hedonism that came to the Bay Area after Stonewall in 1969, when hippies flocked to the Haight Ashbury and gays to the Castro. For a time all was well. But it was the sexual romp before the gathering storm.

Paul, who found his early calling in political action working with Harvey Milk, says, “I came to San Francisco with nothing but my backpack and my boyfriend.” He recalls that in the mid-1970s, “I believed that at that time in San Francisco there were nothing but crazy dreamers.”

Daniel went, recalling that, “I always wanted to meet a blond surfer but I was still in the closet, but then I came out with a bang,” in part spurred by being cast in the gay-themed play “The Boys in the Band.”

One observer, appearing in the film, puts it bluntly about that era: “If you took a lot of young gay men and asked them, ‘How much sex would you like to have?,’ the answer was, ‘A lot,’ and the sense was, sex is good, and more sex is good,” and after all, he adds, “We came to San Francisco to be gay.” Ed, who moved to the city in 1981, is equally blunt: “I was always in relationships, but they were open … My sexual outlet was always the bath houses and it was fun.”

But times were changing. In 1979, Harvey Milk was assassinated. In 1980, Ronald Reagan was elected president. The hopes and dreams of hippie hedonism didn’t last. But then, says Weissman, who documents it with clinical detail from archival footage, signs of trouble began to appear.

“People were wasting, losing so much weight, [San Francisco’s Castro neighborhood] looked like a concentration camp,” says Daniel. “You almost had to turn away, it was just too scary.” He felt haggard and haunted: “I was losing all the fat in my face and my butt — I would walk by a store window and jump, ‘Who was that?’ — I was skin and bones.”

At times death came with startling swiftness. Eileen, who chose to care for AIDS sufferers and then to work on clinical trials seeking pharmaceutical relief of the worst symptoms, says that in the hospital where she worked, “People were coming in with a KS lesion one day and were dead 10 days later.” Her own heart went out to them, but others shrank away in fear and ignorance, as some voices were raised calling for tattoos to be stenciled onto all persons diagnosed with HIV and some even called for packing them away into leper-like colonies.

“From the beginning,” she says, “I just couldn’t understand the homophobia that was going on and the fear of going into the [hospital] rooms.”

“There was nothing that unusual in that people are of course going to die,” says Ed, who speaks like a creative writer, a craft in which he earned a graduate degree. But in San Francisco, he says, “It’s just that it happened in a targeted community, to people who were disenfranchised, separated from their families.”   But then a kind of miracle happened when people like Eileen stepped forward, as well as gay men who were not infected. In Ed’s words, “A whole different group of people stepped up and became their families.”

They got involved. Eileen joined ACT UP. Daniel fought his way back from depression and worked on the Names Project, which made the AIDS quilt.

Each of five was chosen, says Weissman, because they had a special story to tell, and the film delivers what they have to say with an emotional wallop. But more than that, he admits, “The city is also a character” in the film, which he calls “Very personal to me” and “a love letter to San Francisco,” where after some years living in Portland, Ore., he is now based. A commercial release is planned for later in the year.

Weissman, who is gay, was born in 1954 in Los Angeles, and never went to college, he explains, because he “lived through the hippie times.” He got into filmmaking in his late 20s. He says it was “something on the spur of the moment.” He took coursework at the City College of San Francisco, but says at first he never thought of himself as a documentarian. Instead, he produced a series of short comedies until finally, after “a moment of unexpected inspiration,” he made the 2001 acclaimed documentary, “The Cockettes,” about the Bay Area’s legendary theater troupe of hippies and drag queens.

“Some people worry that seeing a film like this will be a downer,” Weissman says. “But that’s definitely not the case. Instead, it’s a cathartic experience, healing and empowering.”

“Especially for young gay men today, who don’t know very much about our history,” Weissman says the film opens “a window about how we got where we are today, and the resilience our community has shown in the face of terrible adversity.”

Other gay-themed films slated for fest

The Washington, D.C. 25th annual international film festival event comes alive this week overflowing the Historic Lincoln Theatre on U Street, AMC Mazza Gallerie, Regal Gallery Place at Verizon Center on 7th Street N.W., the Landmark E Street Cinemas, the Avalon and other venues through April 17.

“We know for sure that people in D.C. are interested in films other than Hollywood films,” says Tony Gittens, who founded the festival in 1987.

Themes include “Justice Matters,” a cluster of films focusing on social justice issues; Global Rhythms, a special section of music films; Short Cuts, eight films less than feature length from around the world; and “Lunafest,” nearly 90 minutes of short films for, by and about women. Tickets for most films are $11, he says, and shows tend to sell out, so buying tickets online is the smart bet.

For a complete list of films and events, which include “freebies” for children and seniors, and to purchase tickets, visit filmfestdc.org or call 888-996-4774 from 10 a.m.-6 p.m. Monday through Friday and from noon-5 p.m. on weekends. Tickets may also be purchased at the theater on the day of the show, with the box office opening one hour before the venue’s first screening of the day.

In addition to “We Were Here,” three others have LGBT appeal:

“Circumstance” (“Sharayet”) in Persian with English subtitles 9 p.m. tonight and 6 p.m. Saturday at Regal Cinemas Gallery Place. Directed by Maryam Keshavasrz, this joint French-Iranian-USA production won this year’s Sundance Film Festival audience award. A young Iranian girl, still in her teens, Atafeh, and her best friend Shireen, experiment with mutual sexual attraction amid the subculture of Tehran’s underground art scene and face familial disapproval.

“For 80 Days” (“80 egunean”) in Spanish with English subtitles co-presented with the Embassy of Spain at 7:30 p.m. Sunday and 8:30 p.m. Monday at the Avalon Theatre, 5612 Connecticut Ave. N.W. Directed by Jon Garano and Jose Maria Goenaga, this Spanish entry depicts two women, one of them lesbian, who were best friends in youth, who meet again by accident 50 years later.

“Loose Cannons” (“Mine Vaganti”) in Italian with English subtitles screens at 9 p.m. tonight and 7 p.m. Saturday at AMC Mazza Gallery, 5300 Wisconsin Ave. N.W.

Directed by Ferzan Ozpetek, the films depicts a large, eccentric family whose patriarch puts pressure on the two sons, who are gay, to follow in the family business.

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Advice

Navigating these uncertain times

You have no power over others, but you have a lot of power over yourself

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This Valentine’s Day brings a lot of extra stress; here are some principles to help you cope. (Photo by digitalista/Bigstock)

For Valentine’s Day, I was planning to write a column about shifts we can make in our attitudes and behaviors to strengthen our love relationships and deepen our connection with our partners.

Then, over the past few weeks, as I’ve been listening to many of my clients express their concerns about the state of our country and our world, I realized that much of what is required to have a great relationship can also help us get through the difficult times we live in.

So here are some principles that I hope will help you to navigate both the challenges of being in a close relationship and the challenges of uncertain times. 

These principles overlap because they are all components of an approach to living that focuses on developing and maintaining agency over your life, and working to strengthen your resilience. The more solid you are, the better you can get through the hard stuff.

Strive to behave with integrity, in a way that you respect. You are likely to feel a lot better about yourself if you do what you believe is right, rather than betraying your values out of fear or to please others. The playwright Lillian Hellman, pressed to appear before the House Committee on Un-American Activities in 1952 and “name names,” said it well: “I cannot and will not cut my conscience to suit this year’s fashions.” (Of course, only you can decide how to balance possible consequences with the importance of honoring your principles.)

Stand up for what you believe in. Being quiet out of fear or concern for what others will think leaves us feeling like helpless victims. And you cannot have an intimate relationship when you don’t let your partner know important parts of who you are. 

Strive to be non-reactive. Do your best to not let others (or circumstances) press your buttons so that you lash out, rather than responding thoughtfully and with deliberation, based on your values.

Strive to always soothe your anxiety. The philosopher Viktor Frankl wrote: “Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.” When someone or something is starting to make us crazy, the best first move we can make is to quiet ourselves. Doing so allows us to think how to best respond.

There’s a great saying from Twelve Step programs: “If you want to have self-esteem, behave in esteemable ways.” You are more likely to do so when you first calm yourself, rather than exploding with anxiety or rage.

Strive to tolerate discomfort: Sometimes we can’t do much about what is making us uncomfortable or causing us distress. Our partner may not change in ways we would like; our job situation may be rough; we may face hostility in the outside world. Identifying how we can deal with challenges and difficult circumstances in a way that helps us become stronger and more resilient can often help us to weather them a bit more easily. 

Strive to tolerate uncertainty: There really are no guarantees about anything important in life. That’s the way it goes. We can’t know how things will turn out —neither our relationships nor our lives nor the fate of humanity. So if we are to construct a meaningful life, we have no choice other than to keep putting one foot in front of the other, doing our best to respond thoughtfully and to have an impact when and where we can, without knowing the outcome.

Strive to stay anchored in reality, not lost in feelings.  When we let our feelings run the show, it’s easy to get spun up and reactive. While our feelings are a source of information, they are not reality. All sorts of things—our pasts, the distortions of social media, what people around us are doing and saying—can contribute to how we feel about a situation. 

Yes, it’s always a good idea to be aware of our feelings. But before acting on them, calm yourself, get some clarity about why you may be feeling what you’re feeling, and think about how reality lines up (or doesn’t line up) with what you’re feeling. In other words, aim to keep the big picture in mind.

Remember that you cannot change others, but you may at times be able to influence them. For example, when I first became vegetarian, I wanted to push my friends to adopt a vegetarian diet by “enlightening” them about the misery of factory farms and the environmental cost of raising animals for food. I soon realized that lectures and judgment are not a great way to change minds. Serving delicious vegetarian food for a dinner is more helpful. So think about how you can reach out to someone or to others with different views, in a way that they are more likely to hear you. 

Obviously, there are limits to this approach. There may be times when you aren’t going to be heard, no matter how you say what you have to say.  The point at which we shift from reaching out to someone to taking a “don’t tread on me” stance can be tricky to discern, and the decision to make that shift should be taken thoughtfully and with appreciation of possible consequences.

Keep your focus mainly on what you can do about a situation. Focus less on what the other person is doing wrong, or not doing. While you have little or no power over others, you have a lot of power over yourself.  Thinking about what you can do to effect at least some of the change you would like, in your relationship or your community or our world, is an antidote to feeling powerless.

Michael Radkowsky, Psy.D. is a licensed psychologist who works with couples and individuals in D.C. He can be found online at michaelradkowsky.com. All identifying information has been changed for reasons of confidentiality. Have a question? Send it to [email protected].)

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Real Estate

Loving where you rent in D.C.

Creating a home you can adore in the nation’s capital

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D.C. offers a vibrant lifestyle, but it can pose challenges for renters. (Washington Blade file photo by Michael Key)

As Valentine’s Day approaches, our thoughts often turn to love. While we may think of candlelit dinners or romantic gestures, love extends beyond relationships—it’s about the spaces we inhabit and how we nurture our connection to them. Loving where you live can have a profound impact on your well-being, and for renters in Washington, D.C., transforming an apartment into a cherished home is not only possible, but also can feel essential.

Washington, D.C., offers a vibrant lifestyle, but it can also pose challenges for renters. High costs, stressful work environments, limited space, and the very nature of urban living might make it harder to settle in. However, with some thoughtful adjustments, you can turn your rental into a space you love. Let’s explore how to create a home that’s a sanctuary, not just a stopover.

Personalize Your Space

One of the first steps to loving where you live is making it feel uniquely yours. Although renting may come with restrictions, there are plenty of ways to customize your apartment:

  • Add Color: Use removable wallpaper or peel-and-stick decals to introduce vibrant or calming hues. Area rugs are another excellent way to bring warmth and character to any room.
  • Display Your Story: Showcase meaningful art, family photos, or souvenirs from your travels. Gallery walls can make even a small space feel personal.
  • Lighting Matters: Replace harsh overhead lighting with floor or table lamps to create a cozy ambiance. Use LED bulbs to save energy and customize brightness levels.

Embrace Multifunctional Furniture

City living can impose limited square footage and multifunctional furniture is your best friend. Look for pieces that serve dual purposes:

  • A storage ottoman can double as seating.
  • Fold-out tables save space while offering dining or work surfaces when you need them.
  • A quality sofa bed is perfect for accommodating guests 

Incorporate Plants and Greenery

Bringing nature indoors can instantly uplift your mood and enhance your living space:

  • Low-Maintenance Options: Snake plants, pothos, and succulents thrive with minimal care.
  • Vertical Gardens: If floor space is limited, consider wall-mounted planters.
  • Window Sills: Herbs like basil or mint not only look and smell good, they are useful for cooking.

Create Comfortable Zones

Think about how you use your apartment and design dedicated areas:

  • Work Corner: With remote work becoming increasingly common, invest in a comfortable chair, desk, and good lighting.
  • Relaxation Spot: A corner with a plush chair, blanket, and books can be your go-to for unwinding.
  • Entertaining Area: Even small spaces can shine with the right setup for hosting, such as a stylish bar cart or foldable chairs.

Maintain and Refresh Regularly

A clutter-free and clean apartment naturally feels more inviting:

  • De-clutter quarterly, donating or discarding items you no longer use.
  • Use storage systems to stash things away you do not need regularly 
  • Add seasonal touches like new cushions or throws to keep your space feeling fresh.
  • Invest in quality cleaning tools to make upkeep easier.

Discovering the Loveable Side of D.C.

Beyond your apartment, Washington, D.C., is a city rich in experiences that make life here unique. Embracing the D.C. lifestyle can deepen your connection to where you live. Here are a few affordable and distinctly D.C. activities to enjoy this Valentine’s Day month:

Loving Life in D.C.

1. Explore Hidden Gems:

  • The United States Botanical Garden: Even though it is the middle of winter, the Conservatory on the grounds of the U.S. Capitol is a wonderful place to get out of the cold.  And a bonus – it is the time of year when orchids are in bloom. Enjoy a touch of a tropical environment right in downtown DC.
  • Kennedy Center’s Millennium Stage: Enjoy free performances showcasing local and international talent. Every day, usually at 6 p.m., you can see artists from around the world in the central hall at the Kennedy Center. And all you have to do is get there in time! Check out the entire program here:  https://www.kennedy-center.org/whats-on/millennium-stage 

2. Taste D.C.’s Diverse Cuisine:

  • Sample global flavors at Union Market. https://unionmarketdc.com 
  • Grab a half-smoke from Ben’s Chili Bowl, a true local original, on U Street, H Street, and other locations citywide.

3. Embrace the Outdoors:

  • Walk or bike the Mount Vernon Trail along the Potomac River; the Capitol Crescent Trail on the west side, and the newer trail, the Metropolitan Branch Trail that runs from Union Station to Silver Spring.
  • Visit Malcolm X Park (also known as Meridian Hill Park) for its cascading fountains, lively drum circles, snow ball fights, and more!  

4. Dive Into History:

  • Tour the lesser-known exhibits at the Smithsonian Anacostia Community Museum, the National Museums of Asian or African Art, and the incredible Renwick Gallery of American Art opposite the White House.
  • Explore the Frederick Douglass National Historic Site for a deeper understanding of D.C.’s role in history.  https://www.nps.gov/frdo/index.htm 

5. Enjoy Affordable Culture:

  • Attend pay-what-you-can nights at local theaters like Studio Theatre, Woolly Mammoth Theatre Company, or Theatre J located in the Jewish Community Center at 16th Street and Q Streets, NW.
  • Take advantage of free museum access year-round, from the National Gallery of Art to the Hirshhorn Museum.

Building a Life You Love

Loving where you live isn’t just about the walls that surround you—it’s about the life you create within them. By personalizing your apartment and immersing yourself in the unique experiences D.C. offers, you’ll better foster a personal sense of belonging and joy. This Valentine’s Day, remember to nurture not only your relationships, but also your relationship with your home and your city. After all, love begins at home.


Scott Bloom is owner and senior property manager of Columbia Property Management. For more information and resources, go to ColumbiaPM.com

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Real Estate

Navigating D.C.’s down payment assistance programs

On the way home, after a detour and a few speed bumps

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D.C. offers some of the most extensive programs for down payment assistance in the country. (Illustration by demianvs/Bigstock)

D.C. offers some of the most extensive programs for down payment assistance that are managed by the Greater Washington Urban League and the DC Housing Finance Authority, for programs like HPAP and EAHP (Home Purchase Assistance Program and Employer Assisted Housing Program). 

The District also offers the DC Opens Doors Program. All of these are great examples of offerings to help first-time or newer home purchasers to afford buying in the District of Columbia, one of the nation’s most expensive housing markets. 

There are various requirements for a buyer to use the program. These can be found at dhcd.dc.gov/service/homeownership. Many qualified local lenders are knowledgeable about these programs and can assist in dozens of these transactions each year. Often, asking a lender about these programs is a great place to start. Tina Del Casale with Sandy Spring Bank has been helping her clients with these programs for years. As part of her education outreach for clients, Tina informs her buyers of the following:

  • In the HPAP and the EAHP program, the seller must provide the opportunity for the buyer to perform a home inspection with a qualified home inspector.  
  • The items that are flagged as “must repairs” need to be fixed by the seller.  
  • The buyer must get their financial documentation to the lenders involved, as well as to the District of Columbia to be approved to use the program.  
  • Whichever organization or department is managing the down payment assistance fund disbursal will also be involved in the process. 
  • Ideally, it takes about 45-60 days from the date of ratification (going under contract) to close (the settlement date) 
  • The lenders help to qualify/approve the condo buildings for financial health, ensuring that the finances within the building are being maintained by the homeowner association.

What happens, often, is that the process goes smoothly until the organization that manages the down payment assistance funds receives the file. The closing date can be extended time and time again, causing both the buyer and the seller to recalculate moving dates, moving trucks, packing, when to move funds around, whose home they will be sleeping at after the 3rd or 4th delay, and wondering if the seller is going to become so agitated with the entire process that they begin to Google search the term “small claims court.” In a recent instance, the buyer was delayed about four times over the holidays and when the file was ready to close, they were informed that the settlement had to be the following day. So, it was a situation of delay, delay, delay, delay, delay, delay, delay, and do this NOW, which means a buyer must coordinate (for the maybe 3rd time) a day off of work and recalculate their entire schedule at the last second to accommodate an organization that seems to have made few efforts to stay in communication along the way.

These delays make the buyer less competitive to win an offer and can make a planned purchase fail due to the failure of the buyer to perform. Nobody wants to be told their house will sell and then must make alternative plans when they realize the contract is not going through, OR there will be a significant delay by up to one to three months. 

How can we make this process more user friendly? If we could, developers might be more motivated to make affordable housing units available for more people, knowing that the process of selling a unit won’t cause interminable delays and headaches for all parties involved.  Buyers must be fully vetted financially before submitting an offer. Is there a way to fully vet the down payment assistance funds, that they arrive in escrow at the title company a week or two before settlement so that all parties can plan their lives accordingly? 

Self-awareness as an organization is crucial for knowing where blind spots exist, how they can be looked at, and how a decent process can be improved to fulfill its own goal of helping buyers get into homeownership. Perhaps an exit interview or feedback form could be sent to each buyer after purchase and looked at for suggestions for improvement.


Joseph Hudson is a referral agent with Metro Referrals. Reach him at 703-587-0597 or [email protected].

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