Living

New year new you

Kickstart your image resolutions with our self-improvement guide

Published

13 years ago

January 12, 2012

Daniel Phoenix Singh says keeping your workout gear handy helps you squeeze in quick exercise breaks when windows of time open up unexpectedly. (Blade photo by Pete Exis; special thanks to the Maryland Youth Ballet))

Lean locals share fitness tips

After the inevitable holiday excess, many among us are bemoaning the ab definition we lost after the eggnog and peanut butter balls. But fitness topics are not esoteric — we pretty much know what to do. It’s a matter of finding the motivation to do it. That’s where little tips and tricks can come in handy.

Maintaining Herculean abs and guns can take over your life but what about all those local LGBT folks who always look fit and trim no matter when you see them? We asked a few of them to share their favorite workout and diet tips in the hope that something will click for you.

“I am not a good example for eating,” says Scott Beard, a concert pianist. “Breakfast is usually coffee. I would say the best thing is to be in a regular workout routine. Make time for it. And mix up your workouts so your body is ‘surprised’ by new exercises. Also watch the alcohol intake. A beer is like drinking a loaf of bread.”

Brian Watson of Transgender Health Empowerment was one of those lucky few who managed to stay naturally thin without working out. But he just turned 30 and decided he could use some ab definition.

“Something I think helps is that I drink a lot of water,” he says. “Whenever I eat, I have a glass of water. I think that not only has that helped keep me thin, but healthy. It eliminates a lot of the sugar, caffeine, etc., that a lot of people put in their bodies everyday. I’m also one of those people who don’t mind taking the stairs instead of the elevator.”

Clark Ray of the Greater Washington Sports Alliance believes in moderation, structure and maintenance.

“Eat what you want but be sensible,” he says. “For structure, make a schedule and stick to it. And with maintenance, you have to be persistent. Work to maintain the personal achievement you’ve made and set goals for new desires and results.”

Realtor Evan Johnson is an avid runner. He runs 3.5 miles six days per week and augments it with 30-minute weight training exercises five-to-six days per week. He says working out very early — before the sun is up — works well for him.

Ebone Bell (Capital Queer Prom) lost 42 pounds over the past six months. She was going for a “slim and healthy look,” and achieved it by sticking to a low-calorie diet (less than 2,000 calories per day), going to the gym three-to-four times per week and balancing cardio and strength training.

“And don’t sleep on Zumba,” she says. “It’s a fun way to burn a lot of calories in just an hour.”

Lesbian Anya Maleknasri is a trainer at Gold’s Gym in Manassas and has several tips. She says finding a gym near work is better than home.

“If you’re driving toward the house, you’re more likely to pass it up for the couch,” she says. “But if it’s near your work, you’ll consider it still work time.”

She also suggests organic, grass-fed meats, healthy fats, nuts, vegetables and fruit.

“Our bodies were intended to eat,” she says. “Fat does not make you fat. Processed food and sugar makes you fat.”

Also, “workouts should be short and intense,” she says. “If it’s easy, it’s probably not going to create any change. But three-to-four days of 20-30 minutes of hard work with a clean diet and you will see change in only a few days. Staying fit and healthy is not a resolution. There are no quick fixes or special pills you can take. But everyday is a new start and there is no end point. Stay realistic and change your lifestyle and your health will turn into a life-long reality.”

Josh Bennett, a singer and dancer with the Gay Men’s Chorus of Washington — he’s the one they always put in the scantily clad attire since he’s so buff, says getting into a healthy routine is “an entire lifestyle change.”

“You have to be ready to change your diet and to push your body to new limits,” he says. “It’s never easy but the health rewards are great. The single biggest hurdle is motivation. It’s never easy to get off the couch and put down the chips but think of an event or person whom you want to look good for and post pictures of them on your phone/TV/computer or mirror. Use that motivator as a constant reminder to clear the junk food out of your kitchen and get on your feet.”

Kevin Platte, founder and director of the eternally shirtless D.C. Cowboys, advises healthful foods in smaller amounts.

“It’s all about portion sizes,” he says. “As we get older, we don’t need to eat like we did when we were teenagers. And remember — drinking a cocktail is like eating a dessert.”

He advises a solid exercise program with a special focus on abs.

Jerry Zremski, a gay D.C.-based reporter for the Buffalo News, finds it helpful to make fitness part of a daily routine. Working out at the same time each day helps him stick to a plan. He also eats meals at regular times and doesn’t snack.

“Consider hiring a trainer if you want to add muscle,” he says. “I did and it worked, even at my advanced age, which I am not revealing.”

His other favorite tip, which works great for D.C., is — “if your destination is less than a mile away, walk.”

Gay dancer Daniel Phoenix Singh (he has his own eponymous dance company), maintains his trim physique by augmenting the workout he gets from dancing with yoga, cardio and weight training. He’s also a vegetarian.

“I watch what I put in my mouth,” he says with a sly chuckle.

“Also be ready to work out any time,” he says. “I always keep my yoga mat, workout clothes and sneakers in my car so there is never an excuse. Because believe you me, I’m just like everyone else — I’d rather spend the evening watching YouTube videos if I could find an excuse to skip working out.”

— COMPILED BY JOEY DiGUGLIELMO

Freezing the fat

Achieve your New Year’s goal with safe, new procedure

By DR. KHALIQUE ZAHIR

The New Year brings many resolutions. Looking good is the first and most important one. Exercising and dieting can help, but there are some areas that won’t change, no matter how many Pilates classes you attend. The desire to look perfect can be frustrating, because you can only change so much on your own.

CoolSculpting by ZELTIQ is one of the non-invasive ways to reduce fat in targeted areas of the body that results in a natural-looking fat reduction in the areas treated. This method uses a cooling technology that targets fat cells through a process that does not harm the surrounding tissue. This procedure can reduce unwanted abdominal fat, love handles and back fat. It is performed in a dermatology office with a topical applicator that cools targeted fat cells under the skin. Only those areas targeted get fat reduction. All individuals can resume normal daily routines after the procedure. Patients may start to see changes as quickly as three weeks after their treatment, and will experience the most dramatic results after two months. The body continues to flush fat cells and will continue doing so for up to four months.

Some areas are not necessarily best suited for this freezing technique and are better handled with more immediate micro lipo-contouring procedures to remove bulges quickly. Identifying your specific needs is the most important thing, and can only be done after an evaluation. In many places, you can have a complimentary consultation with a cosmetic team. Some areas not suited for the Coolsculpting method are best treated using a tumescent lipo-contouring method. Many of these procedures can be performed with you awake and pain free in office, with minimal to no down time. Certain areas of the chest, neck and the abdomen respond best with this treatment and offer results within the first week.

Using the newer modalities in reduction of swelling and bruising has made outpatient body contouring popular and achievable for anyone with the challenges of unwanted body fat. Establishing a regimen best suited for your lifestyle needs with a board certified plastic surgeon is the first step toward succeeding in getting through the New Year’s resolution list. With all the newer innovative technology available, treat yourself to a procedure that can help you in your efforts to look as good as you can, quickly, effectively, and today.

In addition to getting the body you want this year, getting your skin in picture perfect condition is always right up there on the list. Smoother, softer, more even, unblemished and younger-looking skin are what people seek. There are so many things that can be done now to achieve the skin you want.

Lasers, combined with a good skin care regimen, can often solve almost any problem, or get you close to the desired result you’re looking for. Lasers can even out pigmentation, reduce redness, brighten, tighten, reduce and smooth out scarring, reduce or eliminate age spots, and much more. The most important thing when it comes to lasers it to go a dermatologist’s office, with board-certified dermatologists. Many states differ in their regulations on who can perform lasers, but you want to go to a dermatology practice if there is going to be someone performing lasers on your skin. Dermatologists see the skin differently than anyone else, and it is important for you to get someone who can look at your skin comprehensively, with an expert eye.

Dr. Khalique Zahir is with the Dermatology Center and Rockledge MedSpa with three Locations: Northwest D.C., Bethesda and Germantown. Visit dermskin.com or call 301-968-1200 for more information.

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Real Estate

No Rose, your interest rate has nothing to do with how many likes you got on Hinge

Many factors help determine rates these days

Published

1 day ago

June 14, 2025

Joseph Hudson

With the rise of interest rates in recent years, buyers must understand the many factors that go into the final number. (Image by HomeStead Digital/Bigstock)

Picture it, you’re sitting in the lunchroom at work, and your coworker just bought a house. Another coworker bought one a few months ago and you hear that she got a totally different interest rate than the other one did, even though they both bought houses not that far from each other. Homebuyers everywhere have been wondering what interest rates they are going to get, lately. It’s easy to read an article online or see an ad on social media stating specific numbers, but there may be more than meets the eye going into a particular buyer’s interest rate.

What are the factors that can affect the interest rate a buyer eventually “locks in”?

Property details – certain properties may be in neighborhoods with higher rates of foreclosure, or there may be specific census tracts that allow a buyer to participate in the “Fannie Mae Home Ready” and “Freddie Mac Home Possible” programs, which carry more flexible requirements such as various income limits and lower interest rates, to help people begin homeownership.
Type of loan / loan amount– a conventional, conforming loan or a jumbo loan can have differing interest rates, as well as FHA loans.
Credit score – most people are aware that this affects what interest rate is quoted, just like on a credit card. Some lenders will work with you on ways to improve a credit score if the goal is to buy six, nine, or 12 months from now.
Lock period – do you want to lock in the rate for 30 days? 45? Market volatility can cause the rates to change so it will cost more money to hold onto a particular interest rate.
Loan to value ratio – one can still buy a home with less than 20% down, but the rate that is quoted may be higher.
Occupancy type – is this the primary residence or an investment property?
Points bought or credits taken – A buyer can pay the lender a fee to buy down the interest rate, or the seller can sometimes offer a credit. This has become more popular in recent years.
Market conditions – keep an eye on the news – as we are all aware, change is the only constant!

Lender Tina del Casale with Atlantic Union Bank says, “With jumbo fixed rates in the low 6’s, and first-time buyer down payment assistance loans such as DC Open Doors, rates are in the mid 7’s. With the added factors of your income, the address you are purchasing and your credit score factoring into the equation, interest rates are different from buyer to buyer these days. So, skip the online tools and make a few calls because that’s the only way to get an accurate quote these days!”

It might feel like an overwhelming amount of information to take on, but remember, there are people that help others take these big steps every day. A trusted lender and Realtor can guide their clients from start to finish when it comes to purchasing a home. And for that, you’ll be saying, “thank you for being a friend!”

Joseph Hudson is a referral agent with Metro Referrals. Reach him at 703-587-0597 or [email protected].

Advice

Stop haranguing your husband about how you think he should behave

Make your point and then move on from the argument

Published

2 days ago

June 13, 2025

Michael Radkowsky

Make your point and move on but don’t insist your significant other sees everything your way. (Photo by TeroVesalainen/Bigstock)

Michael,

My husband is great, but he’s a pushover. It happens at work a lot. For example: His colleague, who came back from maternity leave about four months ago, is always leaving early. And Jeremy is always staying late to finish the jobs that they should be doing together.

But the most galling to me is that he doesn’t speak up for himself in his family. His parents (in my opinion) overtly favor his brother (who is straight) and his brother’s family. I could give a lot of examples. The latest: They’re treating the brother and the family to a cruise.

We’ve been together for 15 years, married for 12, and never get any such treatment.

Jeremy says his brother is strapped for cash (four kids, one income) and the family needs a break, whereas Jeremy doesn’t need his parents to pay for his (or our) vacation. I don’t really want to go on a cruise but it’s the principle of the thing.

Again, this is just one example. I feel bad for Jeremy being walked on, over and over, and I want him to start standing up for himself. Despite my repeated entreaties, he won’t.

When I push him on this, he tells me I’m not seeing the whole picture, or he sees it differently, or it’s not a big deal, or he’s fine with things as they are.

I can’t see how he could be fine with being taken advantage of, or not being appreciated. I think he’d have a much better life if he actually set some boundaries with people.

How do I persuade Jeremy to listen to me and be more assertive?

Michael replies:

Do you see the irony in complaining that you can’t get your husband to listen to you about being more assertive and setting a boundary?

You’ve made your point to Jeremy, repeatedly, and Jeremy is telling you to back off. In other words, he’s assertively setting a boundary with you.

You can’t get someone else to behave in the way you want, even when you’re certain that your way is best. Jeremy gets to decide how he wants to conduct himself.

Here’s a pattern I have noticed over and over again through my years of working with couples: When you try to do something for someone that is their own job to do, both you and the person you are trying to “help” wind up being resentful. You get annoyed that the other person won’t listen to your wonderful advice, and the other person gets annoyed because they don’t want someone else telling them what to do or how to live their life.

In this case, you’re trying to get Jeremy to stand up for himself more than he does, and he’s not interested in changing how he operates.

A great rule for relationships: You can advocate for what you want, but you have to let go of the result. (And advocate sparingly, or you risk being a nag).

You are continuing to argue the same point to Jeremy, and Jeremy isn’t interested in listening to you. As you asked for my advice, here it is: Cut it out before he gets into the resentment stage, if he’s not already there, as you apparently are.

Also, please consider that your repeatedly criticizing Jeremy’s parents where Jeremy sees no problem could damage not only your relationship with Jeremy, but also his and your relationship with his family.

We get to marry the person we marry. We don’t get to insist that they upgrade to a better (at least in our opinion) version. Trying to do so is not just disrespectful and a waste of time, it poisons the relationship.

So find a way to live with Jeremy as he is, or — if you find his acquiescent nature unbearable — leave. But don’t spend the rest of your marriage, or even another day, haranguing him about how you think he should behave.

Michael Radkowsky, Psy.D. is a licensed psychologist who works with couples and individuals in D.C. He can be found online at michaelradkowsky.com. All identifying information has been changed for reasons of confidentiality. Have a question? Send it to [email protected].

Real Estate

The best U.S. cities for LGBTQ homebuyers in 2025

Where strong equality scores, vibrant culture, attainable prices converge

Published

1 week ago

June 8, 2025

Scott Helms

Philadelphia is among cities that rank highest for LGBTQ homebuyers. (Photo by sborisov/Bigstock)

Buying a home has always been a landmark of security and self-expression. For LGBTQ+ people, it can also be a powerful act of claiming space in a country where housing equality is still a work in progress. The good news? This year offers more options—and more protections—than ever. A record-breaking 130 U.S. cities now score a perfect 100 on the Human Rights Campaign’s Municipal Equality Index (MEI), meaning their local laws, services, and political leadership actively protect queer residents, reports.hrc.org. Meanwhile, national housing analysts at Zillow expect only modest price growth this year (about 2.6 percent), giving buyers a little breathing room to shop around.

Below are eight standout markets where strong equality scores, vibrant LGBTQ+ culture, and relatively attainable prices converge. Median sale prices are from March 2025 Zillow data.

1. Minneapolis–St. Paul, MN

Median sale price: $317,500

Twin Cities residents benefit from statewide nondiscrimination laws that explicitly cover sexual orientation and gender identity, a thriving queer arts scene, and dozens of neighborhood Pride celebrations beyond the mega-festival each June. Buyers also appreciate Minnesota’s down-payment assistance programs for first-time and BIPOC purchasers—many LGBTQ+ households qualify.

2. Philadelphia

Median sale price: $227,667

Philly combines East Coast culture with Mid-Atlantic affordability. “Gayborhood” anchors like Giovanni’s Room bookstore mingle with new LGBTQ-owned cafés in Fishtown and South Philly. Pennsylvania added statewide housing protections in 2024, closing the legal gaps that once worried trans and nonbinary buyers.

3. Pittsburgh

Median sale price: $221,667

Don’t let the steel-town stereotype fool you—Pittsburgh’s MEI score is 100, and its real-estate dollar stretches further than in comparable metros. Lawrenceville and Bloomfield have become hubs for queer-owned eateries and co-working spaces, while regional employers in tech and healthcare boast top Corporate Equality Index ratings.

4. Tucson, Ariz.

Median sale price: $328,333

This desert city punches above its weight in LGBTQ+ visibility thanks to the University of Arizona, a nationally ranked Pride parade, and some of the country’s most picturesque outdoor recreation. Arizona’s statewide fair-housing statute now explicitly lists gender identity, giving buyers added recourse if discrimination occurs.

5. Madison, Wisc.

Median sale price: $413,867

Madison blends progressive politics with a top-five public university and a booming tech corridor. Local lenders routinely promote inclusive marketing, and Dane County offers one of the few county-level LGBTQ+ home-ownership programs in the nation, providing up to $10,000 in forgivable assistance for low-to-moderate-income couples.

6. Atlanta

Median sale price: $359,967

The cultural capital of the Southeast delivers queer nightlife, Fortune 500 jobs, and a web of supportive nonprofits such as Lost-n-Found Youth. While Georgia lacks statewide protections, Atlanta’s 100-point MEI score covers public accommodations, contracting, and employer requirements—shielding homebuyers who choose in-town neighborhoods like Midtown or East Point.

7. St. Petersburg, Fla.

Median sale price: $354,667 Yes, Florida’s statewide politics are turbulent, but St. Pete has long held firm on LGBTQ+ equality. The city’s Pride festival draws nearly a million visitors, and local ordinances bar discrimination in housing and public services. Waterfront bungalows in Kenwood and more affordable condos near Uptown give first-time buyers options.

8. Denver

Median sale price: $563,500

Colorado passed some of the nation’s strongest gender identity housing protections in 2024, and Denver’s queer community remains one of the most visible in the Mountain West. Although prices run higher, buyers gain exceptional job growth and one of the country’s largest Gay & Lesbian Chambers of Commerce.

Smart Strategies for LGBTQ+ Buyers & Sellers

1. Build Your Dream Team Early

Work with an equality-focused real-estate pro. The easiest way is to start at GayRealEstate.com, which has screened gay, lesbian, and allied agents in every U.S. market for more than 30 years.
Choose inclusive lenders and inspectors. Ask whether each vendor follows HUD’s 2021 guidance interpreting the Fair Housing Act to cover sexual orientation and gender identity.

2. Know Your Rights—And Limitations

Federal law bars housing bias, but enforcement can lag. Document everything and report issues to HUD, your state civil-rights agency, or Lambda Legal.
In states without full protections, rely on city ordinances (check the MEI) and add explicit nondiscrimination language to your purchase contract.

3. Evaluate Neighborhood Fit

Use local data: crime stats, school ratings, transit, and MEI scores of nearby suburbs.
Spend time in queer-owned cafés, bars, and community centers to gauge true inclusivity.

4. For Sellers: Market With Pride—And Professionalism

Highlight proximity to LGBTQ+ resources (community centers, Pride festivals) in your listing remarks.
Stage neutrally but inclusively—rainbow art is great, but removing personal photos can protect privacy during showings.

The landscape for LGBTQ+ homeowners is evolving fast. By coupling inclusive laws, supportive culture, and attainable prices, cities like Minneapolis, Philadelphia, and Tucson stand out for 2025. No matter where you land, surround yourself with professionals who value every part of your identity. Start your journey at GayRealEstate.com, lean on the resources above, and claim your corner of the American dream—on your own terms, and with pride.

Scott Helms is president and owner of Gayrealestate.com.