Living
New year new you
Kickstart your image resolutions with our self-improvement guide


Daniel Phoenix Singh says keeping your workout gear handy helps you squeeze in quick exercise breaks when windows of time open up unexpectedly. (Blade photo by Pete Exis; special thanks to the Maryland Youth Ballet))
Lean locals share fitness tips
After the inevitable holiday excess, many among us are bemoaning the ab definition we lost after the eggnog and peanut butter balls. But fitness topics are not esoteric — we pretty much know what to do. It’s a matter of finding the motivation to do it. That’s where little tips and tricks can come in handy.
Maintaining Herculean abs and guns can take over your life but what about all those local LGBT folks who always look fit and trim no matter when you see them? We asked a few of them to share their favorite workout and diet tips in the hope that something will click for you.
“I am not a good example for eating,” says Scott Beard, a concert pianist. “Breakfast is usually coffee. I would say the best thing is to be in a regular workout routine. Make time for it. And mix up your workouts so your body is ‘surprised’ by new exercises. Also watch the alcohol intake. A beer is like drinking a loaf of bread.”
Brian Watson of Transgender Health Empowerment was one of those lucky few who managed to stay naturally thin without working out. But he just turned 30 and decided he could use some ab definition.
“Something I think helps is that I drink a lot of water,” he says. “Whenever I eat, I have a glass of water. I think that not only has that helped keep me thin, but healthy. It eliminates a lot of the sugar, caffeine, etc., that a lot of people put in their bodies everyday. I’m also one of those people who don’t mind taking the stairs instead of the elevator.”
Clark Ray of the Greater Washington Sports Alliance believes in moderation, structure and maintenance.
“Eat what you want but be sensible,” he says. “For structure, make a schedule and stick to it. And with maintenance, you have to be persistent. Work to maintain the personal achievement you’ve made and set goals for new desires and results.”
Realtor Evan Johnson is an avid runner. He runs 3.5 miles six days per week and augments it with 30-minute weight training exercises five-to-six days per week. He says working out very early — before the sun is up — works well for him.
Ebone Bell (Capital Queer Prom) lost 42 pounds over the past six months. She was going for a “slim and healthy look,” and achieved it by sticking to a low-calorie diet (less than 2,000 calories per day), going to the gym three-to-four times per week and balancing cardio and strength training.
“And don’t sleep on Zumba,” she says. “It’s a fun way to burn a lot of calories in just an hour.”
Lesbian Anya Maleknasri is a trainer at Gold’s Gym in Manassas and has several tips. She says finding a gym near work is better than home.
“If you’re driving toward the house, you’re more likely to pass it up for the couch,” she says. “But if it’s near your work, you’ll consider it still work time.”
She also suggests organic, grass-fed meats, healthy fats, nuts, vegetables and fruit.
“Our bodies were intended to eat,” she says. “Fat does not make you fat. Processed food and sugar makes you fat.”
Also, “workouts should be short and intense,” she says. “If it’s easy, it’s probably not going to create any change. But three-to-four days of 20-30 minutes of hard work with a clean diet and you will see change in only a few days. Staying fit and healthy is not a resolution. There are no quick fixes or special pills you can take. But everyday is a new start and there is no end point. Stay realistic and change your lifestyle and your health will turn into a life-long reality.”
Josh Bennett, a singer and dancer with the Gay Men’s Chorus of Washington — he’s the one they always put in the scantily clad attire since he’s so buff, says getting into a healthy routine is “an entire lifestyle change.”
“You have to be ready to change your diet and to push your body to new limits,” he says. “It’s never easy but the health rewards are great. The single biggest hurdle is motivation. It’s never easy to get off the couch and put down the chips but think of an event or person whom you want to look good for and post pictures of them on your phone/TV/computer or mirror. Use that motivator as a constant reminder to clear the junk food out of your kitchen and get on your feet.”
Kevin Platte, founder and director of the eternally shirtless D.C. Cowboys, advises healthful foods in smaller amounts.
“It’s all about portion sizes,” he says. “As we get older, we don’t need to eat like we did when we were teenagers. And remember — drinking a cocktail is like eating a dessert.”
He advises a solid exercise program with a special focus on abs.
Jerry Zremski, a gay D.C.-based reporter for the Buffalo News, finds it helpful to make fitness part of a daily routine. Working out at the same time each day helps him stick to a plan. He also eats meals at regular times and doesn’t snack.
“Consider hiring a trainer if you want to add muscle,” he says. “I did and it worked, even at my advanced age, which I am not revealing.”
His other favorite tip, which works great for D.C., is — “if your destination is less than a mile away, walk.”
Gay dancer Daniel Phoenix Singh (he has his own eponymous dance company), maintains his trim physique by augmenting the workout he gets from dancing with yoga, cardio and weight training. He’s also a vegetarian.
“I watch what I put in my mouth,” he says with a sly chuckle.
“Also be ready to work out any time,” he says. “I always keep my yoga mat, workout clothes and sneakers in my car so there is never an excuse. Because believe you me, I’m just like everyone else — I’d rather spend the evening watching YouTube videos if I could find an excuse to skip working out.”
— COMPILED BY JOEY DiGUGLIELMO
Freezing the fat
Achieve your New Year’s goal with safe, new procedure
By DR. KHALIQUE ZAHIR
The New Year brings many resolutions. Looking good is the first and most important one. Exercising and dieting can help, but there are some areas that won’t change, no matter how many Pilates classes you attend. The desire to look perfect can be frustrating, because you can only change so much on your own.
CoolSculpting by ZELTIQ is one of the non-invasive ways to reduce fat in targeted areas of the body that results in a natural-looking fat reduction in the areas treated. This method uses a cooling technology that targets fat cells through a process that does not harm the surrounding tissue. This procedure can reduce unwanted abdominal fat, love handles and back fat. It is performed in a dermatology office with a topical applicator that cools targeted fat cells under the skin. Only those areas targeted get fat reduction. All individuals can resume normal daily routines after the procedure. Patients may start to see changes as quickly as three weeks after their treatment, and will experience the most dramatic results after two months. The body continues to flush fat cells and will continue doing so for up to four months.
Some areas are not necessarily best suited for this freezing technique and are better handled with more immediate micro lipo-contouring procedures to remove bulges quickly. Identifying your specific needs is the most important thing, and can only be done after an evaluation. In many places, you can have a complimentary consultation with a cosmetic team. Some areas not suited for the Coolsculpting method are best treated using a tumescent lipo-contouring method. Many of these procedures can be performed with you awake and pain free in office, with minimal to no down time. Certain areas of the chest, neck and the abdomen respond best with this treatment and offer results within the first week.
Using the newer modalities in reduction of swelling and bruising has made outpatient body contouring popular and achievable for anyone with the challenges of unwanted body fat. Establishing a regimen best suited for your lifestyle needs with a board certified plastic surgeon is the first step toward succeeding in getting through the New Year’s resolution list. With all the newer innovative technology available, treat yourself to a procedure that can help you in your efforts to look as good as you can, quickly, effectively, and today.
In addition to getting the body you want this year, getting your skin in picture perfect condition is always right up there on the list. Smoother, softer, more even, unblemished and younger-looking skin are what people seek. There are so many things that can be done now to achieve the skin you want.
Lasers, combined with a good skin care regimen, can often solve almost any problem, or get you close to the desired result you’re looking for. Lasers can even out pigmentation, reduce redness, brighten, tighten, reduce and smooth out scarring, reduce or eliminate age spots, and much more. The most important thing when it comes to lasers it to go a dermatologist’s office, with board-certified dermatologists. Many states differ in their regulations on who can perform lasers, but you want to go to a dermatology practice if there is going to be someone performing lasers on your skin. Dermatologists see the skin differently than anyone else, and it is important for you to get someone who can look at your skin comprehensively, with an expert eye.
Dr. Khalique Zahir is with the Dermatology Center and Rockledge MedSpa with three Locations: Northwest D.C., Bethesda and Germantown. Visit dermskin.com or call 301-968-1200 for more information.

As the spring market hits its stride, we are beginning to see more inventory and an increase in days on the market in parts of the DMV. This may result in professional home inspections becoming routine parts of contract offers again. A thorough home inspection can help catch safety issues early and is an opportunity to learn about the operation and maintenance of items in your home.
Pay attention to flickering lights, frequently tripped breakers, and discolored outlets—these are signs of potential electrical hazards. Outdated wiring, overloaded outlets, and faulty appliances can lead to electrical fires.
Structural issues are often overlooked until it’s too late. Crumbling foundations, weak or damaged stairs, loose railings, and uneven flooring can cause trips and falls. Water damage from leaks or flooding can weaken the integrity of floors and walls, creating a risk of collapse.
Toxic chemicals can pose serious threats to health and safety, often without obvious warning signs. Understanding and addressing these risks is crucial for maintaining a safe living environment for you and your loved ones.
Household products such as cleaners, pesticides, air fresheners, and even cosmetics can emit volatile organic compounds (VOCs). These compounds, when inhaled regularly, can cause a range of health issues including headaches, respiratory problems, hormonal disruptions, and in some cases, even cancer. To minimize these risks, homeowners should opt for low-VOC or VOC-free products, ventilate regularly, and consider investing in an air purifier.
Formaldehyde is another common toxin found in pressed wood products, insulation, and certain paints. Long-term exposure can lead to chronic respiratory problems and has been linked to cancer.
Radon gas, another possible carcinogen, is prevalent in the DMV. Your home inspector can do a radon test or there are DIY kits available at many hardware stores. If levels are above EPA standards, a professional remediation firm can install a system that extracts the radon and vents it safely outdoors.
Carbon monoxide (CO), a colorless, odorless gas, is produced by gas stoves, heaters, and fireplaces. Exposure can lead to headaches, dizziness, nausea, and even death. Install CO detectors near bedrooms and ensure that all fuel-burning appliances are properly maintained and ventilated.
Additionally, older homes may still contain asbestos in insulation, floor tiles, or roofing materials. If disturbed, asbestos fibers can become airborne and are highly dangerous when inhaled, leading to serious diseases such as mesothelioma, so when renovating an older home, it’s critical to have materials tested for asbestos before beginning work.
Mold and mildew thrive in damp, poorly ventilated areas such as bathrooms, basements, and around leaky pipes. While some molds are harmless, others can cause allergic reactions or respiratory problems and aggravate conditions such as asthma. Black mold (Stachybotrys chartarum) is notorious for producing mycotoxins that may lead to severe health issues.
Signs of mold include musty odors, visible growth on walls or ceilings, and excessive humidity. Preventing mold growth requires controlling moisture levels—using dehumidifiers and vapor barriers, fixing leaks promptly, and ensuring adequate ventilation. Professional mold remediation may be necessary for severe infestations.
Though banned in residential paints in 1978, lead-based paint still exists in millions of older homes. Lead exposure is especially dangerous for children, causing developmental delays, learning difficulties, and behavioral issues. Adults are not immune – lead can lead to high blood pressure, kidney damage, and reproductive problems.
Even dust from deteriorating lead-based paint can be hazardous. The EPA recommends professional lead testing for any home built before 1978, especially if renovations are planned. Certified abatement professionals can safely remove or encapsulate lead paint.
Improper use of heating equipment, fireplaces, unattended candles, and cooking accidents are common sources of home fires. Smoke alarms and fire extinguishers are essential for early detection and response. Test smoke detectors monthly and change batteries at least once a year.
Homes that are safe for adults may not be safe for children or pets. Small objects, unsecured cabinets, toxic plants, and open staircases can pose significant risks. Childproofing measures such as outlet covers, safety gates, and cabinet locks, along with safe storage of chemicals and medications, are essential precautions.
The good news is that many of these risks can be mitigated with awareness and action. Here are a few simple steps to enhance home safety:
• Conduct a thorough safety audit using checklists available online.
• Ensure proper ventilation to reduce indoor air pollutants.
• Regularly check for leaks and signs of water damage.
• Keep cleaning and chemical products out of reach of children.
• Educate all household members about emergency procedures, including fire escapes and first aid.
Our homes should protect us, not pose threats to our well-being. By identifying and addressing these toxic and unsafe issues, we can transform our living spaces into truly safe havens.
Valerie M. Blake is a licensed Associate Broker in D.C., Maryland, and Virginia with RLAH @properties. Call or text her at 202-246-8602, email her via DCHomeQuest.com, or follow her on Facebook at TheRealst8ofAffairs.
Advice
I make more money than my partner and getting resentful
She’s taking advantage of a joint credit card

Hi Michael,
I make a fair amount more money than my girlfriend does and I’m happy to contribute more to our life (we are both in our 20s and living together).
But Meg doesn’t seem to care how much money she spends and then asks me to front her when she’s running low. She seldom pays me back.
Last week she had a big night on the town with her best friend (formerly her girlfriend) for the friend’s 30th birthday. She hired a limo and spent a lot on drinks and dinner. She put the entire night on our joint card which we are only supposed to use for shared household expenses, because she had maxed out her own card. Of course I will wind up paying for it. (And I am slightly jealous. Why am I paying for her evening out with her former GF?)
I pay for all sorts of stuff all the time because her credit card gets too big for her budget.
And somehow I almost never end up getting her share of the rent, which is already prorated according to our incomes.
She always tells me she’ll pay me back but her tab pretty much just keeps getting bigger.
If I bring this up with her, she tells me I am cheap because I make a lot and we’re a couple; and if she made more, she’d have no problem sharing everything with me.
Am I just being ungenerous? I don’t know. Sometimes I think she’s an ingrate, but then I think if you’re in love, you shouldn’t be thinking of money, just taking care of the person you love.
Also, although I make more than she does, I’m by no means rich. I have my own student loans, and paying for the bulk of our lifestyle stretches me thin some months.
Michael replies:
For starters: Most couples must contend with some version of your struggle with Meg, because most couples have some income disparity.
Do you maintain a lifestyle that both of you can afford? That works for some relationships where the lower earner may not want to feel indebted to the partner who makes more. Other couples work out a system where they pay for expenses in proportion to their income. And in some instances, the higher earner may have a “what’s mine is yours” philosophy and the lower earner is OK with that.
What matters is that both partners come to a mutual agreement and are comfortable with the arrangement. In other words, they collaborate.
That’s not the case with you and Meg. You sound resentful, angry, and feeling like Meg is taking advantage of you.
It’s great to be generous in your relationship, but it’s also important to have a boundary when you think it’s important to have a boundary. Yet you’re continuing to subsidize Meg even when you have trouble making your own ends meet.
Important question: Have you told Meg that you’re stretched thin some months? If not, I’d be curious as to how you’ve made that decision. If so, I’d be curious as to Meg’s response.
If you don’t want to keep serving as Meg’s piggy bank, what is stopping you?
There’s a great saying in psychotherapy: If it’s hysterical, it’s historical. Meaning, our “big” actions and reactions have their roots in our history.
Think about your life history: How does it make sense that you are acting like a powerless victim?
Is not having a boundary an old and familiar dynamic for you? Were there important players in your life—for example, your parents—who insisted it was their way or the highway? Or perhaps you learned as a kid that if you ever said “no” to your friends, there’d be negative consequences?
Now ask yourself what might be keeping you stuck in a relationship of resentment. Are you re-creating an old and familiar dynamic? Sometimes we keep putting ourselves in the same miserable situation, over and over again. What’s familiar can be comfortable, even if it’s miserable; and we may be trying to get some understanding of the dynamic and some power over it, to finally get it right.
I’m just speculating here, to encourage you to think for yourself why you are staying in the dynamic you describe. You haven’t mentioned anything positive about your relationship, or about Meg.
Another possibility: I wonder if you might be so fearful of being alone that you’re willing to tolerate all sorts of treatment in order to stay in your relationship. Or perhaps you don’t think you deserve to be treated any better than this.
Again, if this is the case, where might this belief be coming from? Understanding why we are stuck in behaviors that keep us miserable can help us to get unstuck.
You have an opportunity to do something different here: Set a boundary and take power over your life. Perhaps if you did so, Meg would surprise you by shifting her stance, which would be good news if you have some good reasons to stay. Or perhaps she would not. Your challenge now is to get some sense of what’s holding you back, if you want something different for yourself. And unless you act on your own behalf, you will stay in this position.
One more point to consider, regarding Meg’s dinner date with her ex: Whether or not anything is going on, I take your jealousy as a sign that you don’t trust Meg. And without trust, you can’t have a decent relationship.
Michael Radkowsky, Psy.D. is a licensed psychologist who works with couples and individuals in D.C. He can be found online at michaelradkowsky.com. All identifying information has been changed for reasons of confidentiality. Have a question? Send it to [email protected].
Real Estate
April showers bring May flowers in life — and in real estate
Third time’s the charm for buyer plagued with problems

Working in the real estate sector in D.C. can be as uniquely “D.C.” as the residents feel about their own city. On any given day, someone could be selling a home that their grandmother bought, passed on to the relatives, and the transfer of generational wealth continues. In that same transaction, the beginning steps of building of generational wealth could be taking place.
Across town, an international buyer could be looking for a condo with very specific characteristics that remind them of the way things are “back home.” Maybe they want to live in a building with a pool because they grew up by the sea. Maybe they want a large kitchen so they can cook grandma’s recipes. Maybe they will be on MSNBC once a month and need to have a home office fit for those Zoom sessions where they will be live on air, or recording their podcast. Perhaps they play the saxophone and want a building with thick walls so they can make a joyful noise without causing their neighbors to file a cease-and-desist order.
What I found fascinating was getting to know my buyers. Why were they purchasing their property? What did they want to do with it? Was this their grandmother’s dream that they would have a place of their own someday? Did they finally think they would write that award-winning play in the home office? What dreams were going to be fulfilled while taking part in this transaction?
Somedays, the muck and paperwork slog of navigating home inspection items and financing checklists could get to be distracting at best, and almost downright disheartening at worst.
One of my clients was under contract on THREE places before we finally closed on a home. One building was discovered to have financing issues, and the residents were not keeping up with their condo fees. Another building had an issue with the title to the unit, which meant the seller could not sell the home for at least another year until that legal snag was resolved. As the months rolled by, she was losing heart and feeling defeated. When we finally found the third home, everything seemed great – and then about two weeks before the settlement, the rains came down and the windows leaked into the bedrooms.
Another delay. (Our THIRD). This time, for several more weeks.
I think she wanted to pack a suitcase, go to the airport, get on a plane somewhere and never come back. What ultimately happened? The building repaired the windows, the seller’s insurance replaced the hardwood floors, and she bought her first condo, which she still enjoys to this day.
As Dolly Parton says, “If you want the rainbow, you’ve got to put up with a little rain.” And finally, after months of looking, waiting, and overcoming obstacles, the rainbow peeked out from behind the clouds.
Joseph Hudson is a referral agent with Metro Referrals. He can be reached at 703-587-0597 or [email protected].
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