Living
Managing new relationships
How to navigate the tough topics in the early days
Are you making your new relationship even harder by “playing the game” or avoiding certain topics because they make you uncomfortable? Dating newsflash of the week:Ā IfĀ youāre serious about finding a relationship, avoidance hinders your chances of turning dates one, two and three into a serious relationship.Ā Here’s our advice:
Myth No. 1: Wait for three days to call. This policy is anachronistic and arbitrary. Whomever made up the three-day call rule or abides by it needs some serious dating advice.Ā If you want to communicate with the person you were flirting with the night before, pick up the phone.Ā If you had a two-hour conversation with someone at a party two nights prior, then pick up the phone and ask her/him out.Ā We don’t believe that waiting a certain period of time shows any sign of interest. Texting is easier but it’s a cop out.Ā (And is texting really easier than pressing “call” on your phone?)Ā Waiting to see if (s)he will call you first is just immature.Ā You want a date? Initiate contact.
Myth No. 2: The āmanā pays for the date.Ā Old-fashioned much?Ā Understand dating in the modern world, people. So, letās say a friend/Grindr/matchmaker set you up forĀ a first date (or second) for Friday night, dinner.Ā You have a blast, as you do with someone you really like.Ā The meal is delicious and wine or tea is paired perfectly, conversation is effortless, chemistry is there.Ā When the dinner check arrives, why is it all of a sudden awkward?Ā Modern etiquette suggests that the person who asked the other out is responsible for covering the check.Ā In the situation where you are set up by your matchmaker or a close friend, split it. It is always polite to offer to pay regardless of the situation.Ā Show you are mannered and don’t assume your date is paying.Ā Note: If you are going on a date with someone who is more financially successful than you, also don’t assume (s)he is paying.Ā Itās not only inconsiderate, but downright rude. Assuming the other person is paying gives off a cheap vibe, which no one likes.
Myth No. 3: No one wants to have the “are-we-exclusive” talk.Ā Having this conversation can be very difficult for most.Ā If you really are interested in a relationship and genuinely like someone, donāt sleep with her/him until you decide to beĀ exclusive.Ā If you are sure that you are the only person (s)he is seeing, and you two are spending five nights a week together, then the conversation should be easy. If you are casually seeing one another, then this conversation can be more difficult.Ā To ease “the chat,” be open and upfront with her/him in the beginning of your relationship, in that you are looking forĀ a relationship.Ā No, you won’t scare her/him away by saying this (as long as you don’t say “I want a serious relationship and I want it with you” right off the bat).
Myth No. 4: We are going to have sex on date #3, otherwise, (s)he isn’t into me.Ā This is certainly tough territory when it comes to managing a new relationship.Ā If you didnāt āgive inā on your first date/meeting, how do you handle when itās time to get down and dirty? Sex has different meanings to many people. If you are seeking a relationship, donāt build/start a relationship based on sex. It won’t last!Ā You have to be attracted to the person not only physically, but emotionally as well. If you both are really invested in building a relationship, then it is worth waiting to have sex until it really feels right.
Myth No. 5:Ā (S)he didnāt kiss me on our first date ā (s)he isn’t interested in me.Ā Come on now, mature single people ā is a kiss really the “make it or break it” factor?Ā We know from years of experience in coaching singles that some people don’t even believe in kissing on the first date. Kissing is one of the most intimate things two people do together. Many times, at the close of a first date, the two of you are standing outside a restaurant and saying goodbye.Ā This might not be exactly where you want to have your first kiss. Don’t be upset or read into it. Some people donāt like PDA.Ā Make sure to have an intimate second (or third, fourth) date where you know you will not have to worry about any onlookers.
These are just a few hot topics prevalent in new relationships.Ā Got a specific question for Kim and Meghann?Ā Send us an email, [email protected] or tweet us, @MixologyDC or @MixologyLA. Ā
Real Estate
Snatching your dream home in D.C. this winter
A good time to get a deal during slower season
If you’re thinking about planting roots in the DC Metro, then the winter months are a time when you can get a good deal during a slower time in the market. D.C. isn’t just for politicians and monuments; itās a city brimming with diverse neighborhoods, chic eateries, and more rainbow flags than you can shake a stiletto at. But before you slip into those house-hunting boots, letās make sure youāre well equipped for the real estate game in our nationās capital.
1. Credit Check. Before you even start ogling those gorgeous row houses in Capitol Hill or swooning over condos in Logan Circle, make sure your credit score is ready. Lenders love to see a credit score thatās as high as my hair. If itās looking a little low, then pay down those cards and keep your balances low.
2. Budget Realness. We all love a little splurge now and then (those D.C. brunches aren’t cheap), but buying a home is no time for financial fantasy. Work out your budget and know what you can afford monthly. Factor in those hidden costs like HOA fees and property taxes. Stay within your budget so you can keep rocking those designer threads without a sweat.
3. Location, Location, Location! D.C. is all about neighborhoods with character. Are you more of a Dupont Circle fan or perhaps Petworth? Maybe you fancy the historic vibes of Georgetown or the up-and-coming cool of Navy Yard. Each neighborhood has its own vibe and price tag, so do your homework and figure out where you fit in. Pro tip: Visit at different times of day to really feel the neighborhoodās pulse.
4. Find a Real Estate Agent. Find yourself a real estate agent who not only knows the market but also gets you ā someone who can dish out honest advice and help you avoid any missteps. The right agent will be your guide, confidante, and maybe even your future brunch buddy. Remember, youāre in this together, so choose someone whoās as excited about finding your dream home as you are.
5. Mortgage Pre-Approval ā The Golden Ticket. Nothing says āIām seriousā like a pre-approval letter from your lender. It’s the ultimate accessory to your house-hunting outfit, giving sellers that warm, fuzzy feeling that you’re not just window shopping. Plus, it helps you know exactly how much home you can afford, so youāre not falling head over heels for something out of reach.
6. House Hunting: The Fun Part! Time to put on your walking shoes and start touring. Donāt be afraid to ask questions, take notes, and envision yourself hosting fabulous dinner parties in these spaces. But be prepared to act fast. D.C.ās real estate market moves quicker than a āRuPaulās Drag Raceā elimination round, so if you find āthe one,ā donāt hesitate to make an offer.
7. Inspection, Baby. Once youāve got an offer accepted, itās time for the home inspection. Think of it as the all-important makeover montage. You want to uncover any issues before they become your problems. Trust your inspector and get those deets ā everything from the roof to the basement needs a thorough once-over.
8. Closing Day ā Youāve made it. The grand finale! You’ve done the work, and now itās time to close the deal. Gather your paperwork, bring your ID, and maybe wear something that screams āIām a homeowner!ā After the signatures and happy tears, the keys are yours. Pop the Champagne and toast to your new fabulous life in D.C.
Final Thought: Love is Love, and Home is Home. Remember, your home should be a place where you feel comfortable, safe, and fabulous. Whether you’re single, partnered, or part of a chosen family, the D.C. Metro offers a vibrant, inclusive community that’s ready to welcome you with open arms. So go out there and claim your slice of this iconic city ā youāve got this.
Justin Noble is a Realtor with Sothebyās International Realty licensed in D.C., Maryland, and Delaware for your DMV and Delaware beach needs. Specializing in first-time homebuyers, development and new construction as well as estate sales, Justin provides white glove service at every price point. Reach him at 202-503-4243, BurnsandNoble.com or [email protected].
Real Estate
2024 D.C. residential real estate market in review
Insights and trends for the LGBTQ community
As 2024 ends, the residential real estate market reflects a year of notable shifts, with both progress and setbacks impacting LGBTQ homebuyers and sellers. While strides have been made in fostering inclusivity in some areas, the overall landscape has grown increasingly complex. The political climate, coupled with emerging challenges to diversity, equity, and inclusion (DEI) programs, has significantly influenced the housing market and the LGBTQ+ community’s experiences within it.
Impact of Political and Social Shifts
The incoming Trump administration has signaled a rollback of DEI initiatives across various industries, and housing is no exception. Efforts to reduce funding for fair housing programs and weaken protections against discrimination have raised concerns for LGBTQ individuals seeking equitable access to housing. Many previously inclusive initiatives in real estate development and local government policy may be scaled back or abandoned altogether, creating a climate of uncertainty.
Despite these challenges, organizations like GayRealEstate.com continue to advocate for LGBTQ buyers and sellers, providing a critical safety net in an increasingly polarized environment.
Trends for LGBTQ Buyers, Sellers in 2024
- Increased Caution in Relocation Decisions:
LGBTQ+ individuals and families have grown more deliberate in choosing relocation destinations. States with strong anti-discrimination protections, such as California, New York, and Massachusetts, remain top choices, while states perceived as less LGBTQ+ friendly have seen a decline in migration.
- Emergence of “Safe Zones”:
Many LGBTQ+ buyers are seeking out neighborhoods and cities that actively uphold inclusivity despite national trends. These “safe zones” often feature strong community support and resources, but their limited availability can lead to higher housing costs.
- Barriers to Homeownership Persist:
Discrimination in lending and housing remains a significant challenge. If you experience discrimination in lending or housing, itās essential to report it and seek support.
At the Local Level: Report incidents to your city or stateās Fair Housing Office or Human Rights Commission. To find your local office, check your city or state government website for contact details.
At the National Level: U.S. Department of Housing and Urban Development (HUD):
- Phone: 1-800-669-9777 (Toll-Free)
- TTY: 1-800-877-8339
- Online Complaint Form: HUD Discrimination Complaint
Additionally, working with an LGBTQ professional through GayRealEstate.com provides an added layer of security and advocacy. These experts understand your unique needs and are committed to ensuring you experience a fair and inclusive home-buying or selling process.
- Focus on Financial Security:
With the economic uncertainty brought about by political shifts, LGBTQ buyers are prioritizing affordability and long-term financial stability. This has led to increased interest in shared housing arrangements, multi-generational living, and cooperative housing solutions.
- Advocacy for Fair Housing Protections:
Advocacy groups and legal organizations are ramping up efforts to defend and expand fair housing protections for LGBTQ individuals. These efforts remain a crucial counterbalance to the rollback of federal DEI programs.
Challenges and Opportunities in the Current Climate
The expected rollback of federal protections and reduced funding for fair housing programs will pose significant challenges, particularly in regions already struggling with inclusivity. However, the resilience of our LGBTQ+ community and our allies has created opportunities for grassroots movements to push for local-level inclusivity and support.
Looking Ahead to 2025
As the new administration takes office, the housing market’s inclusivity for LGBTQ individuals may face further obstacles. However, the strength of community-driven initiatives and the unwavering support of advocacy organizations like GayRealEstate.com (and the 21+ National LGBTQ non-profit organizations they support financially monthly) offer hope for continued progress at local and regional levels.
LGBTQ buyers and sellers are encouraged to stay informed, seek out trusted allies in the real estate industry, and leverage platforms like GayRealEstate.com to ensure their home-buying or selling experience remains as smooth and equitable as possible.
Despite the challenges of an evolving political and social climate, one thing remains certain: LGBTQ individuals have allies who stand by their side, fighting for equality and inclusivity in housing and beyond. For more than 30 years, GayRealEstate.com has been a steadfast advocate for LGBTQ rights, helping thousands of individuals and families navigate the home-buying and selling process safely and confidently.
Not only does GayRealEstate.com connect clients with LGBTQ-friendly agents, but the organization also actively supports LGBTQ non-profit initiatives, ensuring that the community continues to thrive. No matter the obstacles ahead, we want you to know: Weāre not going anywhere.
Whether youāre buying, selling, or relocating, GayRealEstate.com is here to provide the expertise, resources, and unwavering support you deserve. Together, weāll continue building a brighter, more inclusive futureāone home at a time.
Jeff Hammerberg is founding CEO of Hammerberg & Associates, Inc. Reach him at 303-378-5526 or [email protected].
Autos
SUV rundown: ātis the season for traveling
6 standouts whether trekking home for the holidays or taking daily commutes
Here are six standout SUVs from which to choose if youāre looking for a new ride this holiday season.
BMW X5
Price range: $67,000-$90,000
MPG: 23 city/27 highway
0 to 60 mph: 5.3 seconds
Cargo space: 72.3 cu. ft.
WHATāS TO LIKE: With a base model nudging $70,000, the midsize BMW X5 costs a pretty penny. Yet this dream machine offers a choice of boffo engines, exciting handling and enticing features. Four trim levels, including a plug-in hybrid and gnarly M60i (a V8-powered ride that costsāyikes!ā$20,000 more but scoots from 0 to 60 mph in just 3.6 seconds). Spacious, too, with oodles of room. And if youāre jonesing for glitz, thereās a glass-trimmed shifter that looks like real crystal, massaging seats, panoramic roof with embedded LED lighting, rear window shades and more. Thereās also the latest tech: 12.3-inch digital display, 14.9-inch infotainment touchscreen, wireless charger and 20-speaker Bowers & Wilkins stereo. Pricey? Yes. Worth it? Drive one and see.
BUICK ENCORE
Price range: $27,000-$34,000
MPG: 29 city/31 highway
0 to 60 mph: 8.8 seconds
Cargo space: 50.2 cu. ft.
WHATāS TO LIKE: Buick keeps hitting the high notes with its bravura designs, and the Encoreāa sassy subcompactāis no exception. Surprisingly spry, with comfy seats, concise handling and a classy cabin. Thereās beaucoup standard gear, including remote start, LED headlights, smartphone integration and the latest safety systems. Open your wallet a bit more to add larger wheels, 360-degree camera, hands-free liftgate, Bose audio and other niceties. A big plus: lotsa storage. Alas, not the peppiest engine, but capable enough to not feel sluggish. Compared to upscale divasāAudi Q3, BMW X1,Mercedes GLA 250āthe affordable Encore deserves, well, an encore.
GMC ACADIA
Price range: $44,000-$57,000
MPG: 20 city/27 highway
0 to 60 mph: 6.7 seconds
Cargo space: 97.5 cu. ft.
WHATāS TO LIKE: The third-gen Acadia, redesigned for 2024, is the best yet. This full-sizer is now larger, more potent and full of gizmos, including hands-free driving assist, wireless charging, Wi-Fi and more. For off-roading, thereās a tighter suspension, all-terrain tires and even a steel skid plate. My only beef was with the automatic braking system, which scared me silly the first time I was backing into a garage. The driverās seat began vibrating and buzzing wildly, even though there was nothing nearby. Then the brakes slammed onāhard. Most vehicles only beep or apply the brakes when too close to an object. This, though, felt and sounded like a manic whoopee cushion. But yes, after driving the Acadia for a week, I missed having such a quirky alert on my next test vehicle.
JEEP GRAND CHEROKEE
Price range: $37,000-$69,000
MPG: 19 city/26 highway
0 to 60 mph: 7.4 seconds
Cargo space: 70.8 cu. ft.
WHATāS TO LIKE: A glam ride on a gutsy chassis. Earlier this year I reviewed the mid-range Overland model. Now it was time for the top-of-the-line Summit Reserve. Mixing pizzazz, power and pampering, this gung-ho SUV spoiled me good. And at $69,000, it should. This is BMW X5 territory, yet the Jeep delivers virtually the same creature comforts and advanced safety monitors. The seats may not be as taut, but thatās a minor quibble. A trailer-tow package also canāt be beat: automatic headlight leveling, load-leveling rear suspension, and heavy-duty cooling and electrical systems.
LINCOLN NAUTILUS
Price range: $52,000-$75,000
MPG: 21 city/29 highway
0 to 60 mph: 7.2 seconds
Cargo space: 71.3 cu. ft.
WHATāS TO LIKE: Lincoln previously appealed mainly to Gramps and G-ma, but now the target is a younger crowd. For the midsize Nautlius, this means mod styling, a finely crafted interior and eye-popping features like a four-foot digital display. The ginormous screen is part of a sweeping dashboard that stretches onto the door panels. Handling and cornering are smooth yet sporty, especially in the new hybrid model. When the Nautilus was parked, I could indulge in some guilty pleasures with a multisensory setup that integrated the panoramic screen, surround-sound stereo, massaging seats and a fragrance diffuser into a truly spa-like ambiance. Nirvana, indeed.
SUBARU FORESTER
Base model: $29,000-$38,000
MPG: 26 city/33 highway
0 to 60 mph: 9.3 seconds
Cargo space: 74.2 cu. ft.
WHATāS TO LIKE: Solid, steady, a sure thing. Thanks to all-wheel drive, the Foresterās handling is excellentāespecially in rain or snow. And even though this is no speedsterāthe powerplant is a tad pokeyāthe fuel economy outshines most rivals. My test drive was the midrange Sport model, which boasted 18-inch black-painted wheels, raised roof rails, foglights, tinted rear windows and an all-weather package with a windshield-wiper de-icer. Best of all: the cargo room was big enough for all my holiday shopping, including a very wicked outfit for my husbandāmy own Prince Fiyero.
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